This NSFL iceberg was one of the most eye opening videos I’ve watched by you. I’m Hispanic and it’s really reassuring hearing someone speak on the racism involved within the community. I randomly stumbled upon your videos while evading death in the hospital and im happy I survived to hear how intelligently you explain your thoughts about your passions. Hearing about death while nearly dying really opened my eyes. This series may be not for everyone but it sure was for me.
Comparing police violence in the US with the hellhole that is Mexico is a big stretch tbh. No wonder mexicans are leaving that place like they are being invaded by ISIS or something
One of the first exposures to "gore" content i ever had was being forced to watch srs footage in conversation therapy at 11-12 years old. And again when my mom trapped me and forced me to watch top surgery footage. It didn't make me any less trans, but it did make me afraid of doctors. Years later, I'm still trans and in the process of getting top.
I know this comment is old, but top surgery on trans men has one of the greatest long term satisfaction rates of any gender-affirming surgery, according to a recent study. I hope this is affirming for you.
Sorry that happened to u bro, I’m glad u still proud to be who u are regardless of what them shitheads think. Keep ur head up brother, don’t let anyone tell u what to do wit your life. Do what makes u happy 🙏
You're refreshingly even headed and sane about this. so tired of the edgelords that never matured past 12 arguing shit like "everyone needs to see this because its REALITY!!!". thank you for being a sane and rational human being.
Can we just appreciate the beautiful coincidence that at the 4:20:00 timestamp, May says the sentence “The police report that they found 77 baggies of weed at the incident”
2:15:10 -- This is THE best explanation about self-harm I have heard, and as a person who has been self-harming since like age 6, I've been searching for the right words for nearly 2 decades now. This is it. Thank you.
ive been sh'ing since six as well, and im 17. i hope you're doing okay 🫶🏻 and, i agree, she did really well at explaining it and when i heard this i was like "wow, that's it" yknow?
I'm not up to that part yet, but I used to sh and found it was a way of externalising my otherwise unseeable internal anguish; it somehow validated my pain so no one could accuse me of falsifying my mental illness.
It’s been 6 years since I sh, did it regularly for 15 years. She really hit the nail on the head. The only thing I would add is that when I did it, the pain was really grounding when I was totally out of control and couldn’t explain how I felt.
i rewatch this video A LOT because the way May talks about horrendous topics is so calming and I love her sense of humor so much. I appreciate that she also doesn't need to provide "visual aid" of the topics she's talking about. This is def a comfort video for me.
You are an articulate, introspective & macabre Bo Peep corralling a wild flock of digital blood-soaked ewes from the darkest, deepest corners of the internet over an endless pastoral plane. And I thank you for that. I finally found the friend I can tell I willingly read ‘Exquisite Corpse.’
I never want you to do another one of these "disturbing"/"NSFL" videos, and I feel sad knowing you subjected yourself to so many awful things to tackle this iceberg - but I AM grateful that you made this. When the original NSFL Iceberg videos came out, I'd often play them while doing other things. I like the way you handle the subject of death, speaking matter-of-factly but also compassionately and respectfully. Without realizing it, I began to internalize the simple concepts like, 'Bodies are meat', 'Death is random', and 'No one is immune to tragedy'. These all seem like obvious things, but I didn't really *know* them in a deeply personal way. And then, ten months ago next week, my husband passed away. It was extremely sudden and not particularly violent, and strangely, the knowledge I gained from this series of videos gave me some comfort as I sat with my husband's body in the hospital (and during the many responsibilities that would follow). Anyway, this is the first time I've been back since I lost him. This comment will get buried but if you ever see this, May, thank you for talking about death in a way that is, above all else, honest. We ARE meat, and that's what makes our brief lives so precious. xxxx
im writing a graphic novel abt a boy going down a pipeline from meme culture to a gore addiction to violent fascism and I wanted to learn more about the types of things he would be seeing (without scarring myself too much) and this is SO helpful. i am trans and mexican and the nsfl community on youtube NEEDS people like you who respect human life and genuinely think critically about the shocking media that goes around
ppl using SRS surgery as NSFL shit is so funny like imagine sending someone a video of an appendix surgery or a hip replacement and being like "this is so fucking scary, look at what people are doing to themselves :/" edit: WHY IS THE MANDELA CATALOGUE HERE SKJHADKJSHDKJASD IT'S LITERALLY JUST AN UNFICTION PROJECT??? wack
Right hahah even if you view it as “omg scary you’re mutilating yourself when you don’t have to” it’s not any more NSFL than a video of someone getting breast implants or a nose job
There’s a pretty big difference between an emergency life-saving surgery and a cosmetic surgery that turns healthy organs non-functional. Jazz Jennings will literally never experience an org-sm because of SRS that was performed in when Jazz was still a minor and that’s sad
@@maddieb.4282breast implants and nose jobs are a lot more reversible than SRS and have far less impact on your literal bodily functions. You don’t have to dilate every day for the rest of your life after a nose job
Don't worry about posting this stuff anymore ever, please. Morbid curiosity may bring people to you, but we stay for YOU. Keep making music, keep writing, keep talking about film. Do whatever makes you happy. These may get more views but the people that support you still love your other "content" and art very much. (Honestly sweety, start pimping out that podcast more, cuz hearing you talk about movies and ghosts for like 1-2 hours with Maya would probably interest people just as much as this, if not much more. I know it does for me at least.) Anyways, take all the time you need for recovering. Wishing you all the best.
Huge agreement on the podcast. I came for May talking about movies she can analyze, have stayed for that and her amazing work with Maya, who is also brilliantly insightful. Idk what the numbers are saying specifically, but I enjoy May enjoying herself, and even if I'm not huge on literature or music consumption, I want what she wants. She has expressed she has so much in her to speak of and I can only agree.
i’m 1 week away from graduating with a degree in psychology and i have never heard anyone explain s*lf h*rm as articulately, clearly, and insightfully as you have. thank you for your hard work on this video!!
more nice things to google: - good food worldwide - plushies - sunrise/sunset pictures - kids art - flowers and plants (i recommend cacti) - ancient music instruments - space - pottery as long as humanity has been cruel, we have seen the beauty in the world as well. we have cared for one another, found solace in nature and comfort in small pleasures.
your NSFL series made me realise that I do NOT want to see these things. I was curious but now i know for sure I wouldn’t be able to handle it. You helped save me from that trauma and that’s important. so this series did some good. but honestly i’m glad you’re ending this series, it’s not healthy for your brain case.
The way that you talk about horrific things is so humanizing, i see so many people talking about true crime and bad stuff as if it were a product or commodity, but you transform people and their destinies as they really are, it's surreal how kind you are to everything that happened, besides the decent sense of humor and nothing disrespectful, GREAT VIDEO !!! (Edit : sorry the bad english
“You should feel no shame for suffering.” Thanks for that gem of a quote. So many of your intellectual moments in this video ring true. Glad I found your channel!! 💜
Since this is the long, all-in-one version I'll post this in hopes people who don't make it until the very end get the final message: 1) Stop looking up this shit, even if it's this types of lists and 2) Get out of your parasocial mindset 3) Go buy the Fluids book and listen go some kickass Angelgrind instead of expecting just more of these type of videos on repeat.
Anyone who's interested in the School of the Americas I highly recommend the book "Children of Cain: Violence and the Violent in Latin America " by Tina Rosenberg. It's a really interesting look into some of the people who perpetuated different types of voilence, what lead them to that, and who was affected by it. It's written in a very human way, although there are some pretty horrible descriptions of torture in some parts. It makes it very easy to understand the different ways the US was involved.
I work in a psych ward and one of the patients was a dude who had shot himself in the head and survived. the bullet had gone through his mouth and one of his eyes; he had to have surgery to remove it and we had to get snacks for him from the geriatric unit b/c he was on a soft foods only diet. he was really cool tho, just an incredibly pleasant and nice dude
Plagued mouth and that guy from New York. Something crow? He really doesn't like trans or gay people (i.e. "they should be normal!!") so he's a dick too
@@thatkidwiththehoodie turned put to be a horrible person who harassed minors and showed them gore on his discord and may or may not have willingly watched CP
Honestly, I’ve watched a lot of NSFL content, and I’ve never heard someone talk about it the way you do. The way you talk about these videos is so informative and interesting, and it has definitely helped me be less nihilistic about things.
I am not over exaggerating when I say this video changed me and my outlook on life. I don't watch true crime anymore, I don't seek out NSFL content anymore, I don't feel as detached from the human experience as I used to. This is my first rewatch of this since you first uploaded it and it's still just as moving as the first time I watched it. How you managed to make a video about this subject matter into something that really touched my heart is astonishing to me. Thank you so much for uploading this and creating these meaningful conversations, May 💕
The stuff you said around the 4 hour mark about how this stuff doesn't really matter and shouldn't stop us trying to love our lives - thank you so much. I can't tell you how reassuring I found that in the face of all the horror! I was handling the stuff in the video pretty well but maybe starting to feel a little overwhelmed - I think hearing that really brought a sense of peace and perspective I needed.
As a trans man who has self harmed in the past, your explanation of the action made me nearly cry. You hit the nail on the head. You articulated what I never could. Thank you. I will use these words in the future!
You literally have the best takes on nsfl content. I love the way you unpack everything and reassure us that these things are contextual and real, but not random. I think your opinion on the educational aspect of these videos and the way you think we should approach these things is completely correct! Been listening while I finish my art school assignments and it's all been super interesting to consider and kept me from boredom haha
Totally agree on the Junko case. We need to talk wayyyyy more about how prominent misogyny is in this and most other cases of murder and violence. We gotta look at how people like those dudes get made into what they became
Thank you for your take on SRS/GC surgery footage. I laughed only because it's so true. A medical procedure, a potentially life-saving one. Oh no! The horror! As if any procedure or surgery is great fun to watch up close. And like it's going to freak one out into being less trans. So spot on!!
It's telling how radfems/terfs will use those images to dehumanize trans people while not realizing that anti-abortion advocates do the same thing with graphic videos of abortions.
i havent heard somebody be able to describe how self harm feels and why people do it in a way that has me feeling so much. ive been doing this for such a long time now and nobodys ever said anything to me the way you said it in this youtube video about fucking gore of all things. my moms met with self harm specialists ive been referred to a whole bunch of psychiatrists and psychologists but nothing theyve ever done has made me really think about it in this way before i love how youre like oh im a bloomer as opposed to a doomer and the way you talk about things feels almost comfortable to me like im not in danger which is something i very rarely feel. im always suspicious of other people and their brains or whatever even if i know its not logical but, i know this is literally just a video or whatever, i think i like understand a lot of how you present yourself. maybe i have similar problems or thought patterns that dont make any sense to other people but yours makes sense to me and at the very least in this video i feel like im in the company of somebody i could share a comfortable silence with. idk sorry if this is really weird im kind of in a weird mood today i dont know
I remember the first time I watched a real surgery. It was the removal of an entire portion of their intestine that was perforated beyond repair. They completely removed that section of the intestines, just threw it away,like nothing. Dude got to just go on with his life with a wild explain for why he was so skinny. I think part what we can learn from not save for life content is that humans are extremely adaptable
Oh god the brick video you refer to is probably the most upsetting thing I've ever watched. I can only compare it to *that* scene in Hereditary, except there's no gore and no acting. Utterly heartbreaking.
One of the few on the list I've actually seen and it definitely is a wtf video. As someone from the Final Destination generation, this is like really peak anxiety/fear. What makes this peak awful is the split second of silence before the other occupants realized what happened as they realized she's gone and the full on wails of dispair from them
2:16:38 100%. When the conversation is over and there's nowhere for that energy to go, it's easy to turn towards your own body to get the stress out. Also, on the topic of that guy showing you self harm, I had a schoolmate do the same to me, and tell me not to tell anyone. I told a counselor immediately. I later found out that that schoolmate came from a family of about 8 kids, all with various issues of their own, and was kinda just forgotten about in comparison. It always has an origin, even in those shitty, manipulative, 'hey, look what I did!' cases. People in pain with no way to force it out.
the 3 hour windup to "the most nsfl things are happening here" was _so_ gd worth every minute of tension escalation and was deeply cathartic. The real yet disturbingly banal terror of it all is incredibly visceral. absolute masterpiece. afterthought: i've always been of the opinion that there are _legitimately_ a **lot** of people in the US that would qualify for a serious cptsd diagnosis just by sheer exposure alone. it's unbelievable honestly.
Back at my elementary school, we (let's say like 40 13yo kids) got taken to the theatre near by and shown a comedy show about road safety. Between funny skits we got shown those French Canadian violent ads where people got in realistic car crashes and got crushed by heavy machinery. Totally not traumatic at all. Also the police guy showing us ACTUAL gory car crashes aftermaths. Very cool 🔥
Oh god, I wonder if it's a generally French thing? When I was 12 and in a French school, we had a "road safety" day, and got shown exactly the same kind of images for the whole day. I think it was like "a day in a life of an emergency worker". At one point, I just closed my eyes after seeing some stuff I did not want to see, and I distinctly remember a guy from my class asking, in a detached voice "why do they still try to reanimate her? She's only got half her head by that point". I thought about that for weeks afterwards, and still sometimes think about it even after seeing more horrors on the internet and elsewhere during the years afterwards. What was that about? Who the fuck thought it was an effective or good thing to do to kids ? I'm pretty sure it was the original micro seed for my subsequent night terrors.
to hit on the topic of self harm and to hear someone be so open and real is comforting. I had a lot of friends growing up struggling with it in so many ways, and I myself had struggled with it since I’d been in 2nd grade and didn’t stop till I was 21. In 22 now and managed to start being able to talk about it openly with trusted people, but it’s comforting to know that someone else does struggle with it, I think we can get in our heads so much and sometimes think our world is so small and no one could ever relate to a struggle we may also deal with and this being one of them. thank you for touching on it so in depth.
I think May’s iceberg videos are great,but I can definitely understand the mental toll they take on her. Her movie reviews have got to be my favorite and I hope to see more of those in the future. I’ve commented this on another video before, but I’ll reiterate that I’ll eat up any content May makes. Her voice is comforting 🥺🖤
May is the only person i trust to talk about this stuff because she doesnt show any footage and takes the time to talk about the politics and context around such violence. Just about everyone else ive seen talk about this finds a way to be racist or homophobic about it
I've somehow reached an adult age witihout having watched (to my knowledge) any videos of people actually dying. I remember the beheading videos going around and my peers would curiously check it out and I was like "nope." Yes, we all have morbid curiosity about mortality, but to your final point - yes it is exploitative and furthermore it isn't good for anybody. It's not good for the victims, it's not good for our mental health. And as someone who already has trauma, PTSD, depression, and anxiety, it could quite literally be NSFL in a literal way. I do want to say, some of the speeches you gave throughout the video did make me feel better on this shitty day where I decided to click on this and further reaffirmed my decision to continue not watching any of those videos. But those speeches were actually really positive in many ways and I appreciate them. So while you may regret the videos entirely, I did get something good out of it while avoiding seeing anything - or even hearing about anything that hasn't had similar things be spread through the cultural zeitgeist.
idk if anyone will feel a sense of relief from this, but I know I did, so I'll share anyways. If you've ever seen the ransom photos of Samantha Koenig taken by Isreal Keyes, no, you haven't. The actual photos have never been released, apparently the ones you'll find posted online are actually a photoshop someone made as an approximation.
It’s weird but this video is one I listen to over and over whenever I feel exceptionally depressed. The acknowledgment of the fact that pain is very real, and the world can be scary and horrible makes me feel heard, and the compassion, lack of judgement, and genuine hope you exude throughout it makes me feel safe. So thank you
Yes I love a multi talented queen. Making books, UA-cam videos, and making music on top of dealing with all the trauma from the videos you’ve researched ong
I got sent gore just a few hours ago and was very upset by it, looked around on how to cope and got recommended this video and your talk on self harm made me cry. Thank you
I think you did amazing with this series, and I’m hoping that it stays over this time for real because I am getting a bit worried. I think the subject matter was tackled in a very mature and real manner. I’ve gotten upset by other UA-camrs who talk about this stuff because I feel like they don’t have a lot of tact or concerns for the victims. They’ll often use spooky meme music in the background of talking about horrible things like car crashes and infanticide and it puts a bad taste in my mouth. It was really inspiring to hear someone talk about these subjects in a way where you actually learn something that you can apply to daily life, even if it’s a small simple lesson. It’s really hard to be hopeful these days and it helps a bit to know that even with all the horrible bullshit going on we need to find a way to move on and be happy in our own lives and do what we can without killing ourselves. I don’t care what content you put out next because imma watch it anyway, no matter what it is because it always ends up entertaining. I’d happily watch you cover just about any media. I still go back to watch your video on Tyler perry sometimes because it’s so damn funny. Also your reviews on books and music were bomb asf too. I don’t have a lot of youtubers that I follow that review books because they usually fall into a book club like routine and they can end up not caring too much about what they’re reading. Since you like to write I feel like you have more interesting takes on books. It took me a while to get around to your music but once I did I started listening to it pretty regularly. You’re a bundle of talent honestly.
I love your really long form content a lot! Its perfect to listen to while working on art projects. I hope your next one is something you’re more interested in, and also not super traumatizing to make. You rock May!
This was oddly therapeutic, I love the way you talk and very glad you didn't glamorize anything, punched the capitalist racism fear mongering shit in the sack, and didn't give in depth details.
Thank you for the content (and nontent) you provide for us. Your PSA at the end of your video yesterday was stellar. Thank you for being a genuinely good person. THIS is why I love you.
I actually greatly appreciate the beginning message of "You will not learn anything from this". From the time I started watching videos and listening to stories that ultimately soured my mood, made me incredibly depressed or shot my anxieties through the roof I felt some sort of duty to see more, hear more, and search for more. Why? Because it's real, and it happens, but... that's my responsibility to hurt myself with? No. What am I learning? Nothing.
It'll never not be funny to me that the mandela catalog is included among a bunch of videos of actual death. Like why is it on here? Is it because it scared wendigoon? Cause the dude legitimately believes in demons so i dont think scaring him is even that hard
A few days ago I ordered my hardcover copy of fluids as my Christmas present! I'm so excited, and so so happy to support my most favorite, surprisingly wholesome, gore-tuber
So, I'm not from America, and honestly I find the US police forse so much more terrifying than the idea of cartels. Like, they're scary, but it's mainly revolved around drug stuff. Even the vids of them doing horrible stuff, doesn't seem random, so it doesn't scare me as much. What does scare me, is the concept of giving an individual a gun and legal right to use it however they feel and trusting their judgment based on less than 6 months of training. Even if they are the nicest, most empathetic just wanna help people person that ever walked the planet, even if there is no corruption what so ever, even if there is a 100% guarentee that no sociopaths managed to weedle their way in, that is terrifying to me. Also. Real talk? Your music kinda slaps.
My first experience with NSFL content was watching the troubles in Ireland. I felt conflict with my own feelings towards the IRA. My mum is American from Georgia (the South), and she experienced the racial conflict there (and in SA). So a lot of my first major in your face NSFL experiences was governmental! Then 9/11 happened and I was kinda scared, but mostly I was SO saddened. I remember the intrusive thoughts of imagining what it would be like to be trapped in the buildings, or in a car bombing, or a metro bombing, or a terrorist attack on a plain. It was like we were all preparing ourselves for an attack. But the real horror came years later when it hit me that death could happen any time, without terrorists, without political conflict, just by pure accident and chance. And as tough as that was to accept, it brought me SO much peace of mind.
hey i did not expect this video to give me such a catharsis on your discussion of your own mental health and SH and i wanna thank you for that. “There’s no shame in suffering” is going to be sitting in my brain for ages. I’m also entering my bloomer phase after transitioning. You’re rad, thank you.
I like this person because they have a good sense of humor about the content they talk about even tho it's kinda dark but I also have a dark sense of humor so it works lol good shit tho keep it up
your explanation of self harm resonates so much with me and im grateful you talked openly about it, at my worst i had no one to talk about my feelings, but when i got help for my mental health, i slowly started to recover from this, i wish i could help more people that deal with this. btw you are very lovely to listen to and your way of communicating is amazing keep it up :-)
@@CheSocBalls420 Making money off of uncensored gore, lying about his critics (calling them pedos or pedo supporters with no evidence), letting predators run rampant in his discord with a ton of minors, using his gender identity as a shield from criticism, and a TON MORE. Lazy Bedhead has a two part series on Moth’s recent and past actions, part 1 is out on YT and part 2 with be released Early September (I think the 5th?)
@@CheSocBalls420 I was a fan of his but after watching his reaction to a certain video and him being disrespectful to the victim in the video. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
God, I think you are my new comfort UA-camr fr, you are just so relatable and I feel like you understand the issues you talk about. Thank you, for everything.
Congratulations about the first mf on the internet that's right about nsfl content This is a hyperbole but I genuinely like how you talked about everything, how a lot of these videos are used as an excuse for hatred of the other (most times people of a different ethnicity or nationality) and how in the end watching gore "content" is not a healthy or even rewarding hobby in any context and will just either desensitize you to violence or make you anxious of even going on a walk Great video Nyx! I personally didn't learn stuff I didn't already know about how these videos are often used, but your insight is very important to the internet as a whole, I hope at least one person gets the message through
Thank you for making these and please never do them again. Make what makes you happy because you deserve it. I got drawn into your videos because of your well thought out points and perspective. I just learned today you have a podcast and about horror?? I instantly added it and I'm excited to listen. You are right that we need to stop pushing for more and more extreme content and feed the algorithm. Take time for yourself and make what makes you happy. I'll be around for whenever you decide to upload next. I personally really enjoy your movie breakdowns (like Crimes of the Future A+++++)
this is such an incredible video I can't put into words how much I appreciate your way of describing certain things and your selfless ability to share such scary personal moments you are an incredible person and this video feels like such a one-on-one conversation, i feel like im on a call with a friend watching this, your ability to communicate things I've never been capable of talking about is something I admire limitlessly
Plagued moth is pretty not cool honestly. Ik they talk a lot abt staying ethical in the genre of content but they obviously feed off of this content emotionally, and play into this like caricature of the dark edgy goth who loves the dark side of life and it all like plays into this atmosphere that almost suggests "this isnt just interesting, its cool and good and i condone it because i like the entertainment of watching gore"
I appreciate your videos. I saw the iceberg and was intrigued by it. I wanted to know what the videos were about but I didn't want to watch them because I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach it. I have that hellish morbid curiosity and fomo. I know I wouldn't be able to stomach it because I saw some of these videos by mistake as a teen on Facebook before it was heavily moderated. I once saw a video that made me throw up from crying for days. My need to know and low tolerance for seeing animals and people in pain are always at odds with each other so videos like this really help. It's so much easier to digest when someone described it to you rather than witnessing it yourself.
one time i was in the car with my sister and her gf and they brought up the russian brick video like everyone had seen it as a kid and as if it was a normal thing to have just randomly seen and BOY was that one of the conversations to have while driving in a car
Hi May! You probably won’t see this but I felt like leaving the comment anyways. I have adhd and I tend to hyperfixate on a video/videos and rewatch them over and over again.. if you can’t tell where this is going, this video is one of my current hyperfixations. I’ve probably contributed 1/3 of the views at this point. I just wanted to say that you’ve taught me so much. Both about the topic of nsfl and emotionally. I have struggled with sh and suicide for so long and hearing someone talk about it the way you do is truly inspiring. It makes me want to be a bloomer as well. I hope you’re doing alright and thank you for making content
even tho these videos cover incredibly dark things, I kept coming back because of your talks at the end. They made me have a sort of refreshed look at life and a lot of the dark stopping me from seeing good and lovely things was cleared away because of you talking about how much you love biking and rain and stuff. Now, because of these videos, I always stop to enjoy rain because you brought up how much you love it.
I always watch this video when I’m feeling like shit and I want to say that I’m so happy that you exist and appreciate the kind of lessons you are telling us. Hearing someone tell me that my suffering is normal and that despite the world being filled with the most despicable things imaginable, we can still live our lives to the fullest and bloom is so comforting. Thank you from the bottom of my heart May, wish you well on your future endeavors.
i know this video is a year old but i kinda went down a rabbit hole of learning about this stuff (not even watching any, just hearing about it) and was feeling pretty gnarly and depressed, and i have to say your compassionate and humanizing discussion of it all makes me feel much better. it's sad that all these things happened but you're right that deep down none of it is anything i didn't already know. it doesn't have to make me see the world as a darker place
Christ, May, I had no idea. Parasocial relationship or not, I have tears going down my face as I type this, melodrama be damned. I don't know what to say, but I am listening. I hope and hope you are doing better, and that you will continue to do better. You're my favorite UA-camr. All of my Love.
1:47:57 i remember I'd fallen asleep to a horror ytbers video where they were talking about spooky phone calls and stuff. This call popped up in the video, her scream was what woke me up. Now I avoid that ytbers videos bc I *hate* when ppl put audio clips in their vids when they're talking abt death/gore.
Also what you said about the public shootings struck a chord with me. I'm not scared that I'll be kidnapped and murdered by the cartel, I like never even think about them tbh. What I do worry about is if I'm going to be killed at work - I work as a cashier in a large store, and I'm always by the front doors, meaning I'd be one of the first to die if something were to happen. I'm scared that my siblings, three of which go to public schools, will be killed in a school shooting, I'm terrified that they might go to school and then not come back one day. I'm too scared to go to public events, and I always get scared whenever my family members leave the house to go to events. I'm scared to go to my synagogue, I'm scared to be public in my trans/queer/Jewish identity, I'm scared to do anything because of how often shootings happen. I don't give a shit about the cartel or Mexico or any of those "dangerous countries" because America has shown time and time again to be just as bad, if not worse, than those countries in terms of protecting its citizens from violence.
this is bizarre and probably oversharing but i had a sudden unexplained urge to come back and rewatch this today and i really wasn't sure why until i got to the part where you talk about self-harm. it's now finally been a year since i took off the last set of bandages from a self-harm episode (way longer since the episode but i never tried to track that at all), and i guess subconsciously i remembered that the way you spoke about it here was the most genuine, honest, and helpful way i've ever heard (even after spending over half my life treated by many many different therapists since i've found they always horrifically misunderstand it, at least in my case. thanks, schizophrenia!). i think i have a particularly strange connection to cases like coldnessinmyheart because for a while i was unfortunately one of those people who posted my own very severe self-harm online - i really really wish i hadn't done that, and i hate thinking about what any of that did for anyone else, but it was just an extreme case of that desperate need for a way to communicate something that was going very wrong in my head. i knew a few people as a teenager who got harassed online with coldnessinmyheart's photos and it's very uncomfortable knowing that it's entirely possible that people have used my own in a similar way, because i've seen that sort of harassment continue over the years. but i can at least hope that there are more people like you who can recognise that for what it is and not see it as either completely off-limits to ever talk about or as pure shock value.
I just want to say thank you for your speech at 4:00:00 in. I've been depressed lately. Can barely enjoy anything or want to do anything. I've binged all your other iceberg and disturbing top 10s and found them very entertaining, but I needed to hear that message. Especially in a video that is talking about such awful stuff, to have such a hopeful and life affirming message hit me like a ton of bricks.
Ty for talking about all of this in such a cheeky and educational way. You demonstrate tremendous empathy while simultaneously pointing out the reality of why these videos existed and how we are DEF affected by it. I’ve always been curious about the morbid but I can’t always handle seeing it. Thanks for taking one for the team and viewing all that crap for this amazing video! (Also I just ordered your book, I’m v excited to be disgusted) ❤
thank you for touching on the rampant anti-native american sentiment with goretubers, it's so fucking weird and i felt like i was the only person who was seeing it ??
the way u construct and write ur videos is what keeps me coming back, not necessarily the content ur talking about, so talk abt whatever u want and we'll keep watching!!
Truly youre videos help me disect and reflect on my consumption of media and how i as a consumer watch and gawk at the horrors rather than stopping the horrors from starting, ya know? Exploitation films have been with me since i was young and it definitely warped my senses of guilt, greif, death, etc, not to mention being exposed to death/gore videos at a young age. I always felt weird for finding a terrible comfort in this stuff and then i found ur channel and it made me feel like seen ig. And this iceberg tho exploitative and not what u want to do did help me realize that there is this cycle of violence so casually shown to us to the point where we cannot even look it in the eye but still recognize its there and yet still beg for more. Its a burning building full of people. Its a plane crash. Its a shooting. Its just horrible, but i didnt choose to see that sorta shit when i was a kid, others wanted that desensitization in me. And like, u carry urself so well and explain ur points and thoughts so brilliantly... it kinda makes me emotional. The differences between Exploitation film and film of Exploitation has truly been shown to me and i cannot thank you enough. You are a wonderful person, artist, writer, ans creator, and i will watch anything you make because you have taught me so much. Thank u!!!!
I just wanted to say I really appreciate what you were saying about self harm, and being more open about and making so that isn’t something that should be hidden. As someone who has dealt with self harming months ago, it means a lot because it’s something that I look back on and want to hide but it doesn’t help hiding it. Overall I’m doing better, but this is the first I’ve heard of accepting the self harm that happened so I wanna be able to move forward with what I learned from this video.
Thank you for making this. I'm re-watching this a year later, not because I'm desperate to re-learn about just how fucking awful humans can be, but because your commentary and unpacking of just what that should mean for people was so powerful that it's stuck with me and I want to hear it again. Thank you for wading into the filth yourself to remind us that we are better than this participation in exploitation, that it is okay to suffer, and that there is beauty we have to add to the world. I hope you're doing okay these days. 💜
I relate so hard to your 9/11 comments. Studies actually show millennials are very messed up from it. I was 10 and my sister was 8 when we saw people jumping from the towers. I remember I had even had a nice day at school beforehand which is rare.
Greetings fellow delver of the macabre, Picked up Fluids and am enjoying it so far. I mainly wanted to highlight the line, "She is an abstract made by a photograph," as being one of those perfect lines that will likely stick with me. Glad I found your channel!
I watched this at first a long time ago. i’ve since had a career change and a lot of loss and it’s been very overwhelming and the tangent about SH really got to me. I haven’t relapsed in a while but it meant a lot to me to hear you say how you’re going to share how you feel and that there’s nothing wrong with being emotional. Idk I really needed to hear that as I have unintentionally been gaslighting myself into undermining how I feel. Thank you for all you do May, the queen bloomer :’)
one of the first and only times i was exposed to something akin to irl gore footage was that south park episode that actually used a sex reassignment surgery video. Unfortunately it took a LONG time for me to get over the ick factor of seeing it as a kid It sucks that SRS is often used for shock value because its honestly an incredible feat of science. It also never stopped me from being trans lmao
This series is what brought me to you. As much as I hope you never have to do this again, for your own mental health. I want you to know that this series was absolutely eye opening. I want you to know rhat I actually DID learn something from this series. I now question a lot of stuff (not so much related to gore) especially when it comes to questioning who the target audience actually is and why things are made. So, in all sincerity, thank you for making this series. But also, (lovingly, from a friend) dont do it again ❤❤
I discovered your content about a week ago now because I watch a lot of horror and iceberg content, and about two minutes into watching your videos, I already loved them, because you have such a funny and snarky way of presenting them. Even if you never make one of these again, it won't be a big loss, because the main reason I watch is your personality, and I'm sure that's the same for most of your viewers :)
May, I just wanted to say that you were one of the first people I followed on youtube and is still my favorite. I love listening to you talk about anything. Thank you for everything
Honestly,“Sponsored by Adidas” would be a better name for footage of something actually caused by Adidas (such as an accident in an Adidas sweatshop). IDK why that thought came to my head, but it dead.
I found you years and years ago. The way you analyzed movies opened my mind to how i now watch films. I have greatly enjoyed your art and your perspective thank you!
Going back to watch this video again, and just wanted to say it is so wonderful to have a creator in this sphere that isn't a mouth breathing fash wannabe who thinks being a bigot is a unique and special personality. Also with everything that has happened with Plagued Moth it is crazy to come back in this moment in time.
38:30 ok but people forget medical gore is a very real interest to a lot of people and with transitioning surgery only being more recently viewed as... Well, not medical malpractice? It's obviously something people would be far more interested in seeing if they're already fans of surgery videos Plus, you have to remember that these surgeries are life saving. They make the lives of people so much better. Like if someone sent me a vid of a transition surgery I'd be like (-: look at them go. They're going to be so much happier now. Hell yeah.
Never thought a 4+ hour video about gore and shock content would be so compassionate and understanding about the human condition
May cares & is a kind person. She doesn't just read off of a script, like a lot of others do.
Some of yall brand new 💀
@@bengixd yt algorithm got me here and i feel like its telling me something 💀
She's the most compassionate UA-camr I've seen in regards to these topics
LMAO I'm here for it 😅🥳🤪🥸
This NSFL iceberg was one of the most eye opening videos I’ve watched by you. I’m Hispanic and it’s really reassuring hearing someone speak on the racism involved within the community. I randomly stumbled upon your videos while evading death in the hospital and im happy I survived to hear how intelligently you explain your thoughts about your passions. Hearing about death while nearly dying really opened my eyes. This series may be not for everyone but it sure was for me.
Comparing police violence in the US with the hellhole that is Mexico is a big stretch tbh. No wonder mexicans are leaving that place like they are being invaded by ISIS or something
One of the first exposures to "gore" content i ever had was being forced to watch srs footage in conversation therapy at 11-12 years old. And again when my mom trapped me and forced me to watch top surgery footage. It didn't make me any less trans, but it did make me afraid of doctors. Years later, I'm still trans and in the process of getting top.
1. What the fuck
2. I hope you're better now, it's sounds horrible 😔 good luck with your surgery ❤️
good for you dude, hope your surgery makes you feel amazing! ❤
I know this comment is old, but top surgery on trans men has one of the greatest long term satisfaction rates of any gender-affirming surgery, according to a recent study. I hope this is affirming for you.
Hope you get hella top, king.
Sorry that happened to u bro, I’m glad u still proud to be who u are regardless of what them shitheads think. Keep ur head up brother, don’t let anyone tell u what to do wit your life. Do what makes u happy 🙏
You're refreshingly even headed and sane about this. so tired of the edgelords that never matured past 12 arguing shit like "everyone needs to see this because its REALITY!!!". thank you for being a sane and rational human being.
Can we just appreciate the beautiful coincidence that at the 4:20:00 timestamp, May says the sentence “The police report that they found 77 baggies of weed at the incident”
I love that, that so perfect😂😂😂
2:15:10 -- This is THE best explanation about self-harm I have heard, and as a person who has been self-harming since like age 6, I've been searching for the right words for nearly 2 decades now. This is it. Thank you.
ive been sh'ing since six as well, and im 17. i hope you're doing okay 🫶🏻 and, i agree, she did really well at explaining it and when i heard this i was like "wow, that's it" yknow?
I'm not up to that part yet, but I used to sh and found it was a way of externalising my otherwise unseeable internal anguish; it somehow validated my pain so no one could accuse me of falsifying my mental illness.
It’s been 6 years since I sh, did it regularly for 15 years. She really hit the nail on the head. The only thing I would add is that when I did it, the pain was really grounding when I was totally out of control and couldn’t explain how I felt.
@@Veestar88 Same. At least we knoe there are others who know.
there is hope, somewhere out there
i rewatch this video A LOT because the way May talks about horrendous topics is so calming and I love her sense of humor so much. I appreciate that she also doesn't need to provide "visual aid" of the topics she's talking about.
This is def a comfort video for me.
Yes 100%
Literally falling asleep to it rn 😴
You are an articulate, introspective & macabre Bo Peep corralling a wild flock of digital blood-soaked ewes from the darkest, deepest corners of the internet over an endless pastoral plane. And I thank you for that. I finally found the friend I can tell I willingly read ‘Exquisite Corpse.’
You're a true homie.
Why does this comment have price numbers on it?
@@SpellboundWolf happens when someone donates money to someone's channel.
@@SpellboundWolf So you can buy the comment
@@skator8423It's a donation. You can obviously comment for free, as you did.
I never want you to do another one of these "disturbing"/"NSFL" videos, and I feel sad knowing you subjected yourself to so many awful things to tackle this iceberg - but I AM grateful that you made this.
When the original NSFL Iceberg videos came out, I'd often play them while doing other things. I like the way you handle the subject of death, speaking matter-of-factly but also compassionately and respectfully. Without realizing it, I began to internalize the simple concepts like, 'Bodies are meat', 'Death is random', and 'No one is immune to tragedy'. These all seem like obvious things, but I didn't really *know* them in a deeply personal way.
And then, ten months ago next week, my husband passed away. It was extremely sudden and not particularly violent, and strangely, the knowledge I gained from this series of videos gave me some comfort as I sat with my husband's body in the hospital (and during the many responsibilities that would follow).
Anyway, this is the first time I've been back since I lost him. This comment will get buried but if you ever see this, May, thank you for talking about death in a way that is, above all else, honest. We ARE meat, and that's what makes our brief lives so precious. xxxx
im writing a graphic novel abt a boy going down a pipeline from meme culture to a gore addiction to violent fascism and I wanted to learn more about the types of things he would be seeing (without scarring myself too much) and this is SO helpful. i am trans and mexican and the nsfl community on youtube NEEDS people like you who respect human life and genuinely think critically about the shocking media that goes around
I'm stealing your idea. Get noob
@@WingsOfAgeOfConsent ☹️
Where will we be able to read it?
that sounds pretty cool can u give any more details (like name, when it might be out etc)?
Can I read it? I'm not a reader, but I'd read this
ppl using SRS surgery as NSFL shit is so funny like imagine sending someone a video of an appendix surgery or a hip replacement and being like "this is so fucking scary, look at what people are doing to themselves :/"
edit: WHY IS THE MANDELA CATALOGUE HERE SKJHADKJSHDKJASD IT'S LITERALLY JUST AN UNFICTION PROJECT??? wack
Right hahah even if you view it as “omg scary you’re mutilating yourself when you don’t have to” it’s not any more NSFL than a video of someone getting breast implants or a nose job
Appendix removal us actually scary but that might just be me because i saw one when I was 6 lmao
There’s a pretty big difference between an emergency life-saving surgery and a cosmetic surgery that turns healthy organs non-functional. Jazz Jennings will literally never experience an org-sm because of SRS that was performed in when Jazz was still a minor and that’s sad
@@maddieb.4282breast implants and nose jobs are a lot more reversible than SRS and have far less impact on your literal bodily functions. You don’t have to dilate every day for the rest of your life after a nose job
weirdos on the internet when u tell them that killing and abusing animals is bad: 😱😱😱
Don't worry about posting this stuff anymore ever, please. Morbid curiosity may bring people to you, but we stay for YOU. Keep making music, keep writing, keep talking about film. Do whatever makes you happy. These may get more views but the people that support you still love your other "content" and art very much. (Honestly sweety, start pimping out that podcast more, cuz hearing you talk about movies and ghosts for like 1-2 hours with Maya would probably interest people just as much as this, if not much more. I know it does for me at least.) Anyways, take all the time you need for recovering. Wishing you all the best.
Everybody, go buy her book! Listen to her music! Go listen to Your Take Is Exrement! DO IT. JUST... DO IT!
😤
🤜 🤛
Just a detail: Mays podcast co-host for "Your Take is Excrement" goes by Maya, since a few episodes ago (the "Come and See" one).
@@Reubel Thank you! Corrected. I'm few episodes behind cuz youtube notifications suck. Lol
@@roobles8918
Ah. No worries. And hey, lucky you, you have more episodes to listen to :D
Huge agreement on the podcast. I came for May talking about movies she can analyze, have stayed for that and her amazing work with Maya, who is also brilliantly insightful. Idk what the numbers are saying specifically, but I enjoy May enjoying herself, and even if I'm not huge on literature or music consumption, I want what she wants. She has expressed she has so much in her to speak of and I can only agree.
i’m 1 week away from graduating with a degree in psychology and i have never heard anyone explain s*lf h*rm as articulately, clearly, and insightfully as you have. thank you for your hard work on this video!!
more nice things to google:
- good food worldwide
- plushies
- sunrise/sunset pictures
- kids art
- flowers and plants (i recommend cacti)
- ancient music instruments
- space
- pottery
as long as humanity has been cruel, we have seen the beauty in the world as well. we have cared for one another, found solace in nature and comfort in small pleasures.
Nudibranchs. Just trust me.
@@theeccentric7263 love those fancy little guys
pictures of dogs looking down
@@m0rec0ffe absolutely!!
I recommend googling cats wearing hats! Always brings a smile to my face
your NSFL series made me realise that I do NOT want to see these things. I was curious but now i know for sure I wouldn’t be able to handle it. You helped save me from that trauma and that’s important. so this series did some good. but honestly i’m glad you’re ending this series, it’s not healthy for your brain case.
I'm happy for you. I for one can't listen to Guns and Roses the same way anymore
Pretty much
yeah dude the vicarious trauma is real
The way that you talk about horrific things is so humanizing, i see so many people talking about true crime and bad stuff as if it were a product or commodity, but you transform people and their destinies as they really are, it's surreal how kind you are to everything that happened, besides the decent sense of humor and nothing disrespectful, GREAT VIDEO !!!
(Edit : sorry the bad english
“You should feel no shame for suffering.” Thanks for that gem of a quote. So many of your intellectual moments in this video ring true. Glad I found your channel!! 💜
Since this is the long, all-in-one version I'll post this in hopes people who don't make it until the very end get the final message:
1) Stop looking up this shit, even if it's this types of lists and
2) Get out of your parasocial mindset
3) Go buy the Fluids book and listen go some kickass Angelgrind instead of expecting just more of these type of videos on repeat.
🙏🙏
the plagued moth call out i love you already lmao
Anyone who's interested in the School of the Americas I highly recommend the book "Children of Cain: Violence and the Violent in Latin America " by Tina Rosenberg. It's a really interesting look into some of the people who perpetuated different types of voilence, what lead them to that, and who was affected by it. It's written in a very human way, although there are some pretty horrible descriptions of torture in some parts. It makes it very easy to understand the different ways the US was involved.
I work in a psych ward and one of the patients was a dude who had shot himself in the head and survived. the bullet had gone through his mouth and one of his eyes; he had to have surgery to remove it and we had to get snacks for him from the geriatric unit b/c he was on a soft foods only diet. he was really cool tho, just an incredibly pleasant and nice dude
"People in the gore community sometimes turn out to be terrible people."
*iceburge made by pledged moth*
Yep
Saying what we’re all thinking lmao
Plagued mouth and that guy from New York. Something crow? He really doesn't like trans or gay people (i.e. "they should be normal!!") so he's a dick too
What happened with him?
@@thatkidwiththehoodie turned put to be a horrible person who harassed minors and showed them gore on his discord and may or may not have willingly watched CP
nice pfp
Honestly, I’ve watched a lot of NSFL content, and I’ve never heard someone talk about it the way you do. The way you talk about these videos is so informative and interesting, and it has definitely helped me be less nihilistic about things.
I am not over exaggerating when I say this video changed me and my outlook on life. I don't watch true crime anymore, I don't seek out NSFL content anymore, I don't feel as detached from the human experience as I used to. This is my first rewatch of this since you first uploaded it and it's still just as moving as the first time I watched it. How you managed to make a video about this subject matter into something that really touched my heart is astonishing to me. Thank you so much for uploading this and creating these meaningful conversations, May 💕
Had a similar experience it was a wake up call to drop all the true crime
The stuff you said around the 4 hour mark about how this stuff doesn't really matter and shouldn't stop us trying to love our lives - thank you so much. I can't tell you how reassuring I found that in the face of all the horror! I was handling the stuff in the video pretty well but maybe starting to feel a little overwhelmed - I think hearing that really brought a sense of peace and perspective I needed.
As a trans man who has self harmed in the past, your explanation of the action made me nearly cry. You hit the nail on the head. You articulated what I never could. Thank you. I will use these words in the future!
❤❤❤❤
You literally have the best takes on nsfl content. I love the way you unpack everything and reassure us that these things are contextual and real, but not random. I think your opinion on the educational aspect of these videos and the way you think we should approach these things is completely correct! Been listening while I finish my art school assignments and it's all been super interesting to consider and kept me from boredom haha
Totally agree on the Junko case. We need to talk wayyyyy more about how prominent misogyny is in this and most other cases of murder and violence. We gotta look at how people like those dudes get made into what they became
Thank you for your take on SRS/GC surgery footage. I laughed only because it's so true. A medical procedure, a potentially life-saving one. Oh no! The horror! As if any procedure or surgery is great fun to watch up close. And like it's going to freak one out into being less trans. So spot on!!
I find it so ironic like if I saw a video of top surgery I’d just be going “Cool I want that”
It's telling how radfems/terfs will use those images to dehumanize trans people while not realizing that anti-abortion advocates do the same thing with graphic videos of abortions.
@@KingOfGaymessame
i havent heard somebody be able to describe how self harm feels and why people do it in a way that has me feeling so much. ive been doing this for such a long time now and nobodys ever said anything to me the way you said it in this youtube video about fucking gore of all things. my moms met with self harm specialists ive been referred to a whole bunch of psychiatrists and psychologists but nothing theyve ever done has made me really think about it in this way before
i love how youre like oh im a bloomer as opposed to a doomer and the way you talk about things feels almost comfortable to me like im not in danger which is something i very rarely feel. im always suspicious of other people and their brains or whatever even if i know its not logical but, i know this is literally just a video or whatever, i think i like understand a lot of how you present yourself. maybe i have similar problems or thought patterns that dont make any sense to other people but yours makes sense to me and at the very least in this video i feel like im in the company of somebody i could share a comfortable silence with. idk sorry if this is really weird im kind of in a weird mood today i dont know
I remember the first time I watched a real surgery. It was the removal of an entire portion of their intestine that was perforated beyond repair. They completely removed that section of the intestines, just threw it away,like nothing. Dude got to just go on with his life with a wild explain for why he was so skinny. I think part what we can learn from not save for life content is that humans are extremely adaptable
Oh god the brick video you refer to is probably the most upsetting thing I've ever watched. I can only compare it to *that* scene in Hereditary, except there's no gore and no acting. Utterly heartbreaking.
One of the few on the list I've actually seen and it definitely is a wtf video. As someone from the Final Destination generation, this is like really peak anxiety/fear. What makes this peak awful is the split second of silence before the other occupants realized what happened as they realized she's gone and the full on wails of dispair from them
2:16:38 100%. When the conversation is over and there's nowhere for that energy to go, it's easy to turn towards your own body to get the stress out. Also, on the topic of that guy showing you self harm, I had a schoolmate do the same to me, and tell me not to tell anyone. I told a counselor immediately. I later found out that that schoolmate came from a family of about 8 kids, all with various issues of their own, and was kinda just forgotten about in comparison. It always has an origin, even in those shitty, manipulative, 'hey, look what I did!' cases. People in pain with no way to force it out.
If it makes you feel any better, some of us liked you even before you did all of this
thank you for being respectful and not showing any videos, i hate the disrespect of the horror and gore community
the 3 hour windup to "the most nsfl things are happening here" was _so_ gd worth every minute of tension escalation and was deeply cathartic. The real yet disturbingly banal terror of it all is incredibly visceral. absolute masterpiece.
afterthought: i've always been of the opinion that there are _legitimately_ a **lot** of people in the US that would qualify for a serious cptsd diagnosis just by sheer exposure alone. it's unbelievable honestly.
Back at my elementary school, we (let's say like 40 13yo kids) got taken to the theatre near by and shown a comedy show about road safety.
Between funny skits we got shown those French Canadian violent ads where people got in realistic car crashes and got crushed by heavy machinery. Totally not traumatic at all. Also the police guy showing us ACTUAL gory car crashes aftermaths. Very cool 🔥
Oh god, I wonder if it's a generally French thing? When I was 12 and in a French school, we had a "road safety" day, and got shown exactly the same kind of images for the whole day. I think it was like "a day in a life of an emergency worker". At one point, I just closed my eyes after seeing some stuff I did not want to see, and I distinctly remember a guy from my class asking, in a detached voice "why do they still try to reanimate her? She's only got half her head by that point". I thought about that for weeks afterwards, and still sometimes think about it even after seeing more horrors on the internet and elsewhere during the years afterwards. What was that about? Who the fuck thought it was an effective or good thing to do to kids ? I'm pretty sure it was the original micro seed for my subsequent night terrors.
@@Feamelwen well, i fear getting behind the wheel now, and i don't plan on getting a driving license so it sure did something.
I'VE SEEN THOSE ADS HOLY SHIT. My fiance and I binged them in High School and they were traumatic as hell.
I'm traumatized that there were *forty* 13 yr olds so s+^♤!€ that they were still in elementary school 🤯
The Workplace Accident ads? Those were played on TV in Ontario for sure.
to hit on the topic of self harm and to hear someone be so open and real is comforting. I had a lot of friends growing up struggling with it in so many ways, and I myself had struggled with it since I’d been in 2nd grade and didn’t stop till I was 21. In 22 now and managed to start being able to talk about it openly with trusted people, but it’s comforting to know that someone else does struggle with it, I think we can get in our heads so much and sometimes think our world is so small and no one could ever relate to a struggle we may also deal with and this being one of them. thank you for touching on it so in depth.
3:58:10 - 4:01:25 This was genuinely the most motivating TED talk I've ever listened to
I think May’s iceberg videos are great,but I can definitely understand the mental toll they take on her. Her movie reviews have got to be my favorite and I hope to see more of those in the future. I’ve commented this on another video before, but I’ll reiterate that I’ll eat up any content May makes. Her voice is comforting 🥺🖤
May is the only person i trust to talk about this stuff because she doesnt show any footage and takes the time to talk about the politics and context around such violence. Just about everyone else ive seen talk about this finds a way to be racist or homophobic about it
I've somehow reached an adult age witihout having watched (to my knowledge) any videos of people actually dying. I remember the beheading videos going around and my peers would curiously check it out and I was like "nope." Yes, we all have morbid curiosity about mortality, but to your final point - yes it is exploitative and furthermore it isn't good for anybody. It's not good for the victims, it's not good for our mental health. And as someone who already has trauma, PTSD, depression, and anxiety, it could quite literally be NSFL in a literal way.
I do want to say, some of the speeches you gave throughout the video did make me feel better on this shitty day where I decided to click on this and further reaffirmed my decision to continue not watching any of those videos. But those speeches were actually really positive in many ways and I appreciate them. So while you may regret the videos entirely, I did get something good out of it while avoiding seeing anything - or even hearing about anything that hasn't had similar things be spread through the cultural zeitgeist.
idk if anyone will feel a sense of relief from this, but I know I did, so I'll share anyways. If you've ever seen the ransom photos of Samantha Koenig taken by Isreal Keyes, no, you haven't. The actual photos have never been released, apparently the ones you'll find posted online are actually a photoshop someone made as an approximation.
It’s weird but this video is one I listen to over and over whenever I feel exceptionally depressed.
The acknowledgment of the fact that pain is very real, and the world can be scary and horrible makes me feel heard, and the compassion, lack of judgement, and genuine hope you exude throughout it makes me feel safe. So thank you
God so real this is weirdly one of the most comforting videos ive ever watched i come back in dark times and it helps
i clicked on this because of the morbid curiosity but there is something captivating in the way you talk about things
Yes I love a multi talented queen. Making books, UA-cam videos, and making music on top of dealing with all the trauma from the videos you’ve researched ong
I got sent gore just a few hours ago and was very upset by it, looked around on how to cope and got recommended this video and your talk on self harm made me cry. Thank you
I think you did amazing with this series, and I’m hoping that it stays over this time for real because I am getting a bit worried. I think the subject matter was tackled in a very mature and real manner. I’ve gotten upset by other UA-camrs who talk about this stuff because I feel like they don’t have a lot of tact or concerns for the victims. They’ll often use spooky meme music in the background of talking about horrible things like car crashes and infanticide and it puts a bad taste in my mouth. It was really inspiring to hear someone talk about these subjects in a way where you actually learn something that you can apply to daily life, even if it’s a small simple lesson. It’s really hard to be hopeful these days and it helps a bit to know that even with all the horrible bullshit going on we need to find a way to move on and be happy in our own lives and do what we can without killing ourselves. I don’t care what content you put out next because imma watch it anyway, no matter what it is because it always ends up entertaining. I’d happily watch you cover just about any media. I still go back to watch your video on Tyler perry sometimes because it’s so damn funny. Also your reviews on books and music were bomb asf too. I don’t have a lot of youtubers that I follow that review books because they usually fall into a book club like routine and they can end up not caring too much about what they’re reading. Since you like to write I feel like you have more interesting takes on books. It took me a while to get around to your music but once I did I started listening to it pretty regularly. You’re a bundle of talent honestly.
I love your really long form content a lot! Its perfect to listen to while working on art projects. I hope your next one is something you’re more interested in, and also not super traumatizing to make. You rock May!
I do the same. TIL that May Leitz has a podcast that I'll search out for my sewing this week.
This was oddly therapeutic, I love the way you talk and very glad you didn't glamorize anything, punched the capitalist racism fear mongering shit in the sack, and didn't give in depth details.
Thank you for the content (and nontent) you provide for us. Your PSA at the end of your video yesterday was stellar. Thank you for being a genuinely good person. THIS is why I love you.
Can't believe you were basically the first person I saw call out Plagued Moth and now there's a bunch of people calling him out
I actually greatly appreciate the beginning message of "You will not learn anything from this".
From the time I started watching videos and listening to stories that ultimately soured my mood, made me incredibly depressed or shot my anxieties through the roof I felt some sort of duty to see more, hear more, and search for more. Why? Because it's real, and it happens, but... that's my responsibility to hurt myself with? No. What am I learning? Nothing.
It'll never not be funny to me that the mandela catalog is included among a bunch of videos of actual death. Like why is it on here? Is it because it scared wendigoon? Cause the dude legitimately believes in demons so i dont think scaring him is even that hard
A few days ago I ordered my hardcover copy of fluids as my Christmas present! I'm so excited, and so so happy to support my most favorite, surprisingly wholesome, gore-tuber
So, I'm not from America, and honestly I find the US police forse so much more terrifying than the idea of cartels. Like, they're scary, but it's mainly revolved around drug stuff. Even the vids of them doing horrible stuff, doesn't seem random, so it doesn't scare me as much.
What does scare me, is the concept of giving an individual a gun and legal right to use it however they feel and trusting their judgment based on less than 6 months of training. Even if they are the nicest, most empathetic just wanna help people person that ever walked the planet, even if there is no corruption what so ever, even if there is a 100% guarentee that no sociopaths managed to weedle their way in, that is terrifying to me.
Also. Real talk? Your music kinda slaps.
I think giving everyone a gun is the real problem. The police over here has a gun, yet the amount of police brutality is nearly non-existent
the way you spoke about self-harm really resonated with me. thanks for speaking about it in such an honest and thoughtful way.
My first experience with NSFL content was watching the troubles in Ireland. I felt conflict with my own feelings towards the IRA. My mum is American from Georgia (the South), and she experienced the racial conflict there (and in SA). So a lot of my first major in your face NSFL experiences was governmental! Then 9/11 happened and I was kinda scared, but mostly I was SO saddened. I remember the intrusive thoughts of imagining what it would be like to be trapped in the buildings, or in a car bombing, or a metro bombing, or a terrorist attack on a plain. It was like we were all preparing ourselves for an attack. But the real horror came years later when it hit me that death could happen any time, without terrorists, without political conflict, just by pure accident and chance. And as tough as that was to accept, it brought me SO much peace of mind.
hey i did not expect this video to give me such a catharsis on your discussion of your own mental health and SH and i wanna thank you for that. “There’s no shame in suffering” is going to be sitting in my brain for ages. I’m also entering my bloomer phase after transitioning. You’re rad, thank you.
I like this person because they have a good sense of humor about the content they talk about even tho it's kinda dark but I also have a dark sense of humor so it works lol good shit tho keep it up
your explanation of self harm resonates so much with me and im grateful you talked openly about it, at my worst i had no one to talk about my feelings, but when i got help for my mental health, i slowly started to recover from this, i wish i could help more people that deal with this. btw you are very lovely to listen to and your way of communicating is amazing keep it up :-)
I'm always for the subtle jabs at Plagued Moth and his ethics.
Oh, what wrong did he do?
@@CheSocBalls420 Making money off of uncensored gore, lying about his critics (calling them pedos or pedo supporters with no evidence), letting predators run rampant in his discord with a ton of minors, using his gender identity as a shield from criticism, and a TON MORE.
Lazy Bedhead has a two part series on Moth’s recent and past actions, part 1 is out on YT and part 2 with be released Early September (I think the 5th?)
@@CyberBliitz ahh. Thats not too good actually. Thank god you told me lmao, i was gonna watch the entire iceberg he made 😬
@@CheSocBalls420 I was a fan of his but after watching his reaction to a certain video and him being disrespectful to the victim in the video. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
@@CyberBliitz ah, that makes sense. Anyway, hope you're doing well, have a nice day
God, I think you are my new comfort UA-camr fr, you are just so relatable and I feel like you understand the issues you talk about. Thank you, for everything.
Congratulations about the first mf on the internet that's right about nsfl content
This is a hyperbole but I genuinely like how you talked about everything, how a lot of these videos are used as an excuse for hatred of the other (most times people of a different ethnicity or nationality) and how in the end watching gore "content" is not a healthy or even rewarding hobby in any context and will just either desensitize you to violence or make you anxious of even going on a walk
Great video Nyx! I personally didn't learn stuff I didn't already know about how these videos are often used, but your insight is very important to the internet as a whole, I hope at least one person gets the message through
Thank you for making these and please never do them again. Make what makes you happy because you deserve it. I got drawn into your videos because of your well thought out points and perspective. I just learned today you have a podcast and about horror?? I instantly added it and I'm excited to listen. You are right that we need to stop pushing for more and more extreme content and feed the algorithm. Take time for yourself and make what makes you happy. I'll be around for whenever you decide to upload next. I personally really enjoy your movie breakdowns (like Crimes of the Future A+++++)
Oh what a great day to watch a 5 hour NyxFears video
Just enough time to get me through work
Red Asphalt was a required part of our Driver's Ed class! How fun
this is such an incredible video I can't put into words how much I appreciate your way of describing certain things and your selfless ability to share such scary personal moments you are an incredible person and this video feels like such a one-on-one conversation, i feel like im on a call with a friend watching this, your ability to communicate things I've never been capable of talking about is something I admire limitlessly
Plagued moth is pretty not cool honestly. Ik they talk a lot abt staying ethical in the genre of content but they obviously feed off of this content emotionally, and play into this like caricature of the dark edgy goth who loves the dark side of life and it all like plays into this atmosphere that almost suggests "this isnt just interesting, its cool and good and i condone it because i like the entertainment of watching gore"
I appreciate your videos. I saw the iceberg and was intrigued by it. I wanted to know what the videos were about but I didn't want to watch them because I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach it. I have that hellish morbid curiosity and fomo. I know I wouldn't be able to stomach it because I saw some of these videos by mistake as a teen on Facebook before it was heavily moderated. I once saw a video that made me throw up from crying for days. My need to know and low tolerance for seeing animals and people in pain are always at odds with each other so videos like this really help. It's so much easier to digest when someone described it to you rather than witnessing it yourself.
one time i was in the car with my sister and her gf and they brought up the russian brick video like everyone had seen it as a kid and as if it was a normal thing to have just randomly seen and BOY was that one of the conversations to have while driving in a car
Hi May! You probably won’t see this but I felt like leaving the comment anyways. I have adhd and I tend to hyperfixate on a video/videos and rewatch them over and over again.. if you can’t tell where this is going, this video is one of my current hyperfixations. I’ve probably contributed 1/3 of the views at this point.
I just wanted to say that you’ve taught me so much. Both about the topic of nsfl and emotionally. I have struggled with sh and suicide for so long and hearing someone talk about it the way you do is truly inspiring. It makes me want to be a bloomer as well. I hope you’re doing alright and thank you for making content
even tho these videos cover incredibly dark things, I kept coming back because of your talks at the end. They made me have a sort of refreshed look at life and a lot of the dark stopping me from seeing good and lovely things was cleared away because of you talking about how much you love biking and rain and stuff. Now, because of these videos, I always stop to enjoy rain because you brought up how much you love it.
I always watch this video when I’m feeling like shit and I want to say that I’m so happy that you exist and appreciate the kind of lessons you are telling us. Hearing someone tell me that my suffering is normal and that despite the world being filled with the most despicable things imaginable, we can still live our lives to the fullest and bloom is so comforting. Thank you from the bottom of my heart May, wish you well on your future endeavors.
i know this video is a year old but i kinda went down a rabbit hole of learning about this stuff (not even watching any, just hearing about it) and was feeling pretty gnarly and depressed, and i have to say your compassionate and humanizing discussion of it all makes me feel much better. it's sad that all these things happened but you're right that deep down none of it is anything i didn't already know. it doesn't have to make me see the world as a darker place
Christ, May, I had no idea. Parasocial relationship or not, I have tears going down my face as I type this, melodrama be damned.
I don't know what to say, but I am listening.
I hope and hope you are doing better, and that you will continue to do better.
You're my favorite UA-camr.
All of my Love.
This video feels like you're having a convo with your cool big sister that's about to change your life
1:47:57 i remember I'd fallen asleep to a horror ytbers video where they were talking about spooky phone calls and stuff. This call popped up in the video, her scream was what woke me up. Now I avoid that ytbers videos bc I *hate* when ppl put audio clips in their vids when they're talking abt death/gore.
Also what you said about the public shootings struck a chord with me. I'm not scared that I'll be kidnapped and murdered by the cartel, I like never even think about them tbh. What I do worry about is if I'm going to be killed at work - I work as a cashier in a large store, and I'm always by the front doors, meaning I'd be one of the first to die if something were to happen. I'm scared that my siblings, three of which go to public schools, will be killed in a school shooting, I'm terrified that they might go to school and then not come back one day. I'm too scared to go to public events, and I always get scared whenever my family members leave the house to go to events. I'm scared to go to my synagogue, I'm scared to be public in my trans/queer/Jewish identity, I'm scared to do anything because of how often shootings happen. I don't give a shit about the cartel or Mexico or any of those "dangerous countries" because America has shown time and time again to be just as bad, if not worse, than those countries in terms of protecting its citizens from violence.
this is bizarre and probably oversharing but i had a sudden unexplained urge to come back and rewatch this today and i really wasn't sure why until i got to the part where you talk about self-harm. it's now finally been a year since i took off the last set of bandages from a self-harm episode (way longer since the episode but i never tried to track that at all), and i guess subconsciously i remembered that the way you spoke about it here was the most genuine, honest, and helpful way i've ever heard (even after spending over half my life treated by many many different therapists since i've found they always horrifically misunderstand it, at least in my case. thanks, schizophrenia!). i think i have a particularly strange connection to cases like coldnessinmyheart because for a while i was unfortunately one of those people who posted my own very severe self-harm online - i really really wish i hadn't done that, and i hate thinking about what any of that did for anyone else, but it was just an extreme case of that desperate need for a way to communicate something that was going very wrong in my head. i knew a few people as a teenager who got harassed online with coldnessinmyheart's photos and it's very uncomfortable knowing that it's entirely possible that people have used my own in a similar way, because i've seen that sort of harassment continue over the years. but i can at least hope that there are more people like you who can recognise that for what it is and not see it as either completely off-limits to ever talk about or as pure shock value.
I just want to say thank you for your speech at 4:00:00 in. I've been depressed lately. Can barely enjoy anything or want to do anything. I've binged all your other iceberg and disturbing top 10s and found them very entertaining, but I needed to hear that message. Especially in a video that is talking about such awful stuff, to have such a hopeful and life affirming message hit me like a ton of bricks.
Your "speeches" throughout the video are absolutely amazing. Subscribed so fast after
Ty for talking about all of this in such a cheeky and educational way. You demonstrate tremendous empathy while simultaneously pointing out the reality of why these videos existed and how we are DEF affected by it. I’ve always been curious about the morbid but I can’t always handle seeing it. Thanks for taking one for the team and viewing all that crap for this amazing video! (Also I just ordered your book, I’m v excited to be disgusted) ❤
thank you for touching on the rampant anti-native american sentiment with goretubers, it's so fucking weird and i felt like i was the only person who was seeing it ??
the way u construct and write ur videos is what keeps me coming back, not necessarily the content ur talking about, so talk abt whatever u want and we'll keep watching!!
Truly youre videos help me disect and reflect on my consumption of media and how i as a consumer watch and gawk at the horrors rather than stopping the horrors from starting, ya know? Exploitation films have been with me since i was young and it definitely warped my senses of guilt, greif, death, etc, not to mention being exposed to death/gore videos at a young age. I always felt weird for finding a terrible comfort in this stuff and then i found ur channel and it made me feel like seen ig. And this iceberg tho exploitative and not what u want to do did help me realize that there is this cycle of violence so casually shown to us to the point where we cannot even look it in the eye but still recognize its there and yet still beg for more. Its a burning building full of people. Its a plane crash. Its a shooting. Its just horrible, but i didnt choose to see that sorta shit when i was a kid, others wanted that desensitization in me. And like, u carry urself so well and explain ur points and thoughts so brilliantly... it kinda makes me emotional. The differences between Exploitation film and film of Exploitation has truly been shown to me and i cannot thank you enough. You are a wonderful person, artist, writer, ans creator, and i will watch anything you make because you have taught me so much. Thank u!!!!
I just wanted to say I really appreciate what you were saying about self harm, and being more open about and making so that isn’t something that should be hidden. As someone who has dealt with self harming months ago, it means a lot because it’s something that I look back on and want to hide but it doesn’t help hiding it. Overall I’m doing better, but this is the first I’ve heard of accepting the self harm that happened so I wanna be able to move forward with what I learned from this video.
Thank you for making this. I'm re-watching this a year later, not because I'm desperate to re-learn about just how fucking awful humans can be, but because your commentary and unpacking of just what that should mean for people was so powerful that it's stuck with me and I want to hear it again.
Thank you for wading into the filth yourself to remind us that we are better than this participation in exploitation, that it is okay to suffer, and that there is beauty we have to add to the world. I hope you're doing okay these days. 💜
I relate so hard to your 9/11 comments. Studies actually show millennials are very messed up from it. I was 10 and my sister was 8 when we saw people jumping from the towers. I remember I had even had a nice day at school beforehand which is rare.
Greetings fellow delver of the macabre,
Picked up Fluids and am enjoying it so far. I mainly wanted to highlight the line,
"She is an abstract made by a photograph," as being one of those perfect lines that will likely stick with me.
Glad I found your channel!
I watched this at first a long time ago. i’ve since had a career change and a lot of loss and it’s been very overwhelming and the tangent about SH really got to me. I haven’t relapsed in a while but it meant a lot to me to hear you say how you’re going to share how you feel and that there’s nothing wrong with being emotional. Idk I really needed to hear that as I have unintentionally been gaslighting myself into undermining how I feel. Thank you for all you do May, the queen bloomer :’)
one of the first and only times i was exposed to something akin to irl gore footage was that south park episode that actually used a sex reassignment surgery video. Unfortunately it took a LONG time for me to get over the ick factor of seeing it as a kid It sucks that SRS is often used for shock value because its honestly an incredible feat of science. It also never stopped me from being trans lmao
This series is what brought me to you. As much as I hope you never have to do this again, for your own mental health.
I want you to know that this series was absolutely eye opening. I want you to know rhat I actually DID learn something from this series. I now question a lot of stuff (not so much related to gore) especially when it comes to questioning who the target audience actually is and why things are made.
So, in all sincerity, thank you for making this series.
But also, (lovingly, from a friend) dont do it again ❤❤
I discovered your content about a week ago now because I watch a lot of horror and iceberg content, and about two minutes into watching your videos, I already loved them, because you have such a funny and snarky way of presenting them. Even if you never make one of these again, it won't be a big loss, because the main reason I watch is your personality, and I'm sure that's the same for most of your viewers :)
May, I just wanted to say that you were one of the first people I followed on youtube and is still my favorite. I love listening to you talk about anything. Thank you for everything
Thank you. I am buying your book. I read all the stuff you suggest.
Honestly,“Sponsored by Adidas” would be a better name for footage of something actually caused by Adidas (such as an accident in an Adidas sweatshop).
IDK why that thought came to my head, but it dead.
I found you years and years ago. The way you analyzed movies opened my mind to how i now watch films. I have greatly enjoyed your art and your perspective thank you!
Going back to watch this video again, and just wanted to say it is so wonderful to have a creator in this sphere that isn't a mouth breathing fash wannabe who thinks being a bigot is a unique and special personality. Also with everything that has happened with Plagued Moth it is crazy to come back in this moment in time.
38:30 ok but people forget medical gore is a very real interest to a lot of people and with transitioning surgery only being more recently viewed as... Well, not medical malpractice? It's obviously something people would be far more interested in seeing if they're already fans of surgery videos
Plus, you have to remember that these surgeries are life saving. They make the lives of people so much better. Like if someone sent me a vid of a transition surgery I'd be like (-: look at them go. They're going to be so much happier now. Hell yeah.