16. Amnon and Tamar (2 Samuel 13)

David's regrettable experience with Bathsheba and her husband seems to have set a standard for the conduct of David's oldest son, Amnon, who in a fit of outrageous lust, attacked and humiliated his half sister Tamar. David's failure to act decisively following the crime provoked the rage of Absalom, the older brother of Tamar, and led finally to his execution of Amnon two years later.

[@tobystewart4403]

There exists a fascinating parallel between the story of Tamar and the Sumerian story of Enlil and Sud.
Enlil is also the son of a King, the greater god An. Sud is also kin to Enlil. In the Sumerian story, the conduct and outcomes are subtly different.
Sud protests Enlil's lustful passion, just as Tamar does, however unlike Tamar, who was commanded to be at Amnon's house by David, Sud "just happened by" Enlil's house. And she "just happened" to go swimming in his pool. Nor does she flee in haste when Enlil becomes manifestly aroused by her considerable beauty.
Nor does Enlil send her away, and behave badly in this respect. On the contrary, he is sent into exile, and is destined to be executed, as Amnon was. Even as the son of a king, Enlil is subject to the law.
In this respect, the Sumerian story of Sud is very remarkable, for it shows that the protection of female rights is as old as the gods themselves. The rule of law, which the applicability of the principles of law to everyone, is evidenced here.
Now, in the case of Sud and Enlil, Sud has the power to decide Enlil's fate. If she marries him, and he marries her, his life will be spared for the sake of the child. If she does not, he must be executed, as Amnon is executed. The calculus for Sud is clear, and Enlil is thus ensnared by her. She forgives Enlil, and he owes her his life. She marries the son of the King, and is also pregnant by him. He is restored to his duties, although he suffers a demotion, and is no long a happy clappy bachelor.
It is easy to see that, in the Sumerian version, Enlil is a little bit the prey, and Sud a little bit the predator. By the end of it, he doesn't know what is going on, and she gets all the things a clever princess might scheme to obtain. Sud "just happened by" Enlil's pool. Next thing poor Enlil knows, he is in exile in south america, on death row, and waiting to see what all the ladies conspire to tell dad.
In this sense, the bible took the whole calculus of the tale a different way, and made it the same lesson as found with Cain. The Sumerian version is more of a practical self help guide for an ambitious princess, like the Snow White myth.
Like Sud, the princess Tamar is very sharp, and beautiful. Unlike Sud, she is innocent of any sin of exploiting the weakness of men. Nor is it clear that young ladies exploiting the weakness of young men is sinful. We must have families somehow. Yet unlike Sud, Tamar doesn't get "all the things", despite her innocent schemes. This variation in the outcomes for the princess sister perhaps evidences an evolution in family law, away from marriage between siblings.
In Egypt, it was common for royal sisters and brothers to marry. Perhaps the jews had learned to eschew this conduct, due to the perils of inbreeding, and amended the mythology they learned in Babylon, accordingly.

[@tobystewart4403]

The story of Tamar is a profound lesson in the core principle of leadership. David is impotent to lead with traditional moral principles, because his own example has demonstrated contempt for them. His leadership by example comes back to haunt him, as Amnon follows the example of David the man, not the traditional principles that the King has a duty to show to his people, that the father has a duty to show to his sons.
The lesson here is not so much about Amnon, or Tamar. It is part of the story of David, just as David is part of the story of Jesus. As a wise old man recently said to me with sincere conviction "The Bible is one book."
This story must be seen, therefore, as part of the tragedy of David, which is the fall of his house, due to the inexorable calculus of profound sin. Just as Cain was destined to die at the hands of his own kin, because they were protected from blame for murder by god's curse, David is destined to watch his sons adopt the same evil practices he adopted. By failing to discipline himself, he now faces the much more difficult task of disciplining his own son. A reckoning of sin postponed is a problem cultivated, and becomes a problem grown strong, over time.
The vector of evil into the company of men always travels through the leader. If one commands men, and there is evil in your company, look to destroy the root of the vector at its source, which is always in oneself. This is leadership, in war, in law, in the family, and in commerce. It's all the same thing, the way of righteous conduct.

[@brucegore4373]

Very well stated, as always.