How Modern Dating Is Destroying Us
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 вер 2024
- Ever feel like modern dating is just... well, a hot mess? Let's talk about modern dating and all its craziness. From dealing with the endless dating problems to figuring out why modern dating is so messed up, we're here to chat about it all. Let's talk about love, relationships, and maybe even share a few dating tips along the way. Is modern dating really as broken as it seems, or is there a silver lining to it all? Maybe, just maybe, there's a way to make sense of it all and discover the true beauty that lies within modern relationships.
#relationship #dating #love
Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Brandon
Animator: Naphia
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Sources:
Anderson, M., Vogels, E. A., & Turner, E. (2020, February 6). The virtues and downsides of online dating. Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-and-downsides-of-online-dating/
Embark Behavioral Health. (2024, February 28). The psychological effects of online dating for young adults. www.embarkbh.com/blog/technology/the-psychological-effects-of-online-dating-for-young-adults/
Gardner, A. (2012, February 6). Psychologists highlight pitfalls of online dating. CNN. edition.cnn.com/2012/02/06/health/online-dating-pitfalls/
Medaris Miller, A., Blumberg, P. O., & MEJIA, N. (2023, November 14). 11 signs you’re in a situationship - what is a situationship? Women’s Health. www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a27478820/situationship/
Viveros, J. (2023, December 14). Pros and cons of online dating in later life. USU. extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/pros-and-cons-of-online-dating-in-later-life
I can’t escape Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just monika
just monika
Just Monika
In this age, I still prefer old fashioned dating and romance.
Same
True
Agree
"In this age of cars and trains, I still prefer horseback"
That's all well and good, but it's not actually practical, is it?
@@Cybertech134 more like "in this age of something quite messed up i prefer the times when things were less messed up". Your statement doesn't connect to the one above. Maybe to you it's more practical to get sex via a hookup, but something being practical doesn't mean it's valuable. Hookup culture is destroying real and honest emotionally connected relationships and thus only enhancing the loneliness epidemic. Don't you want to be truly loved by someone as well? Or do you prefer to rot in your room disconnected from anyone, without having someone to share your life with?
Technology shows how empty modern connections are. In a meaningless world, even love is just another shallow transaction.
Damn. That was profound AND depressing at the same time. You'd make a great Edgar Allen Poe style poet.
At the end of my existential crisis i dicovered that thereis nothing and that in it and of itself also doesnt matter
Shit, man
@@TheBastardWombatKing As long as you didn't hear a fly buzz before you died...
Dating feeling "empty" sounded like an exaggeration, or at least a bit dramatic, until I experienced it first hand. A text or call back, or setting up plans, feels like a chore now. You can hit it off with someone immediately and both seem genuinely interested, then he or she doesn't even respond. At least a "no" or "I'm sorry" is something. But nothing at all, as if y'all never met. And my last relationship ended because she didn't have any idea what she wanted, despite having the perfect relationship in her head.
I'm a man in my 20s and I'm opening myself up to more friends and relationships, but it's almost as if being honest and level-headed is being punished with toxicity and callus reactions, yet people complain about not being able to find anyone. My best advice to Gen Z and Alpha is to know who you are and keep your head up, because it's ass out here lmao.
The psychology behind dating apps is also like the phrase “99% gamblers quit before hitting it big”. When you find yourself excessively swiping out hundreds of people in hopes to find someone who’s the embodiment of perfection because you’re unwilling to settle for “less”
Lol rarely get a real conversation rolling with "less" either tbh
Yep! Totally! It's definitely the "gambler's fallacy" haha. Honestly, gacha games gives me more fulfillment and engagement (and more mental stability) than dating apps have 😅
basically bo Burnhams song: if you want love
why would anyone settle?
Imagine if people asked how many swipes they made before they found a date, or rather for the other side. How many dates have you had before this one? 😢
Whenever I encounter the word "Trauma Dumping", it only reminds me of the negative impact it has given to me; specifically to someone like me who's diagnosed with depression.
There is always that guilt of speaking up about my problems, especially when I'm having an episode. That fear of getting called out for trauma dumping when you're just not okay at all in the first place because of a depressive episode.
Trauma dumping is healthy only in the appropiate spaces. Do it in therapy so you can work on yourself
You can ask them out if you can vent to them before venting. If they give permission it's not trauma dumping honestly
People who say that just want you to hurry up and stop ruining their delicate illusion. Tell em to get a new sound bite.
From another sufferer
I get how you feel as I've been there too and don't want to feel like a burden to others by telling about my problems. Although I have experienced trauma dumping in a relationship before where it came out of the blue and didn't get a choice if I wanted to listen or not, as my ex didn't want therapy or any help with it so the just poured out everything that's gone wrong in their whole life on me when we had only been together a month and still getting to know each other. It was very overwhelming and made my mental health worse as I never got to talk about how I felt to them.
There is a difference between speaking up and constantly talking about how bad everything is and ruining the other person's mood constantly
Social media ruined it.
No people did. We forgot how to communicate and be honest with people. If you don’t slow down and look critically at a relationship and go, AM I GOING TO MARRY THIS PERSON!!
Covid too, it pushed humanity even further down.
It’s no surprise that social media has turned love and relationships into shallow transactions, replacing genuine connections with meaningless swipes and texts.
@@Overworkedandunderpaid Your comment makes no sense. "People did" who do you think uses social media and easily indoctrinates others? 🤣💀
Covid, social media, red pill content, cancel culture etc, modern dating is all messed up.
Modern dating has been ruined due to “icks” dating apps/websites and people having toxic relationships and behavior and the greed people desire and cheating it is so terribly sad
Yup
Cheating has been around forever, there are just more ways to do it now.
@@Nola5427 And it’s much more available, and much less in plain sight. Nobody will shame you for cheating if you hide it well enough.
Indeed my fellow FBI agent
“icks” aren’t really a new thing, it’s just what happens when a person acts like the real human being they are in ways that go against the perfect and idealized versions of what we want a person to be, and that contrast creates the “ick”
I agree, deleting my dating apps is what actually made me start improving myself and gave me the confidence to meet other guys irl. Those apps are engineered to strike your insecurities to keep you hooked on them. It’s similar to a addictive substance looking for that dopamine hit of a like or validation.
Have you have had temptation to go back reinstall the apps? I can imagine it would be extremely hard to delete it for sure. How did you do it?
100% 👍
I agree. I deleted most social apps like OkCupid, Kik, Snapchat, etc. I ended up getting a good trade off
Does the same go for Facebook Dating?
That's a good change honestly
When we were just two dorky teenagers scared to ask girls to dance, my best mate and I sat down and thought the whole thing out;
Why were we afraid? Fear of rejection....
Why were we afraid of rejection? Social shaming and the reminder of our own (perhaps) lack of desireable- ness.
With that in mind, we stumbled on the idea "well, what if we just didn't care about those things?" and made a pact to "thrive on rejection", and to support each other by laughing off our failures together, just chalking them up to the everyday sufferings of life, like soggy sandwiches and study hall.
Within two years, he was Class President, I was Secretary and Student Council Rep, the two of us were organizing monthly student dances where we danced with *everyone*.
By graduation, I was going off to University sharing an apartment with the girl who became my wife, and he was juggling about a dozen 'steady dates'.
The moral? First, a good 'wingman' and best friend is more valuable than good looks, style, or 'riz'.
Second, thrive on rejection! 😂(nothing really matters that much, to be honest!)
Not everyone here is successful dude. You don’t have to rub it in.
Asshole
Gotta be able to find people to reject you
Whilst perhaps that might work for guys, girls who do the same thing will be judged very differently by peers in many parts of the world. Let alone when you get older....
I understand the advice but I just thought I'd point out, this wont work for everyone, just for a specific demographic in a specific scenario.
@Bahamut616 I just finished group therapy for social Anxiety and this is essentially what they taught us. I'm a woman and think this advice is helpful! I'm in a totally different place than i was a year ago.
@@darth_lopez532go outside. A ton of people will reject you, I promise! Lol just jokes
I’m 24, female, and i never dated anyone before, never had a crush, never been in love, and of course…i never got married. Love and dating is so new and foreign to me, I’d like to get into it, but I’m still working on myself. If god has plans for me to find love, then…ok! Sure. If not…then I guess I’m just destined to be alone. I often get lonely (we all do) and I sometimes just crave wholesome forms of affection (hugs, cuddles, kisses, stuff like that) I sometimes feel like I’m touch starved, and so I…get really shy when it comes to showing love and affection. My family isn’t the most affectionate, so I just didn’t experience much affection growing up (my family isn’t neglectful or anything, their just not the most affectionate) plus I was not that much of a hugger growing up (probably due to my autism and me being more prematurely) so…I don’t know, I’d like to find a soulmate/life long partner and best friend, but I don’t know when or where I’ll find him.
I'm the same! I went on my first date at 25 this year! I asked him to coffee and he stood me up lol! But the next date was someone normal and nice! Dating is a journey, good luck and expect being uncomfortable! Uncomfortable means growth!
I am 26, but a guy. Well perhaps there is dozen of girls like you 2 around me but i am just not aware of it.
By now i tried everything, being funny, charming , not afraid of rejection but nothing works
I just settled for waiting until something clicks with some girl, otherwise, i really don't know what to do else. It's a dead end.
I’m also 24 girl, never dated before, I did had some crushes on guys but they all turned me down for being ugly. So I gave up on finding someone. All I want now is just having pets to keep me company ❤
Hello, I am 33, the same problem.
@Lawrance_of_Albania yup! The world is large and majority of it is not on the internet, there are tons of women like us!
When you say "nothing works", what do you mean? Is your goal to get in any relationship or a good relationship? People that reject us are just telling us they won't be good partners for us, which is a good thing to me!
The last part of your comment is really good. What groups or social communities are you in for you to be around women in order for you to naturally click with them?
I’m 25 years old and I agree dating is hard in today’s society. I have never had a girlfriend before and I’m scared to talk to women. I’m worried that I will die alone and will never find my soulmate.
Don' t be scared just be yourself.
Same!
you and me both brother.
@@Nola5427What useless advice!
Soulmates don't exist fam just go sleep with people until u find one that can put up with you for a bit.......that's what a relationship is anyhow
Monika on the thumbnail>>>
ikr
Just Monika
Only reason I clicked lmao
Ayo Simp
I thought that was hori
People are openly malicious these days. They get more joy out of causing others pain than anything else.
Trying to date just gets you trolled, at best.
Don’t give people on Reddit access to your heart.
People are not “openly malicious”. The fact that you believe that tells me you don’t spend much time in the RG.
People are openly malicious in the UG.
Rg? Ug? @@Darth_Bateman
Cause it makes them feel better or something
They don't want to directly cause pain. But their lack of wisdom and seeking advice from fools is the downfall that causes pain for both in that relationship.
@@appletherapy true.. Men seek advice from other lonely men who pretend to be well connected.
I’m a 17 year old kid living in this modern nightmare, and it sucks. People say “I miss the old way” but I don’t even get something to miss, I was never around to see it. All I’ve ever known was a society based around screens and technology. I’m just fully stuck with this reality. It’s gotten so bad that I don’t even know if I want to date anymore, despite how lonely I feel.
Society sucks.
If it can help you feel better, i knew the era of no internet and i miss it so dearly i would kill myself to live it again. So there's that.
@@carlthegamer9215 At least there are humans who hate it as much as I do, that gives me a *little* hope.
(Also, please don’t kill yourself 👍)
My hope is give another like 5-10 years when your generation is in their mid and late 20s you all see all the dumb shit we done and learn from it XD And the fact someone your age see this for the bullshit that it is is a good sign.
@@RexZShadow agreed. A small amount of people realizing the crap is better than none.
I had no idea some young people felt that way, considering you grew up with all of these contraptions
As a Millenial, I feel for Gen Z and Alpha especially, although this problem touches many. Social media has really been an important factor in making an already challenging situation worse. Mostly, I'd blame it for the rise in anxiety, social withdrawal, the inability or unwillingness to communicate in person, as well as promoting many false ideals and unrealistic expectations, and let's not even talk about body image issues. Social media, in my mind, should be used to supplement social relationships, not to replace in-person interaction entirely. Our entertainment such as online gaming and streaming allows us to be more isolated than ever as well. Gone are the days of couch gaming at a friend's house over the weekend. Everyone's too busy, yet we manage to spend hours online everyday. There's an obvious irony to that.
Dont worry about gen alpha theyre just skibidi
It’s not just social media, it’s also dating apps. And I would say dating apps are a bigger issue but they feed into each other
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
Online gaming is where most of my friendships come from
@@Vindicador01 you are missing a big piece of the puzzle.. what happens if you get rejected by a woman? Your feelings get hurt, embarrassed maybe? If a woman makes the wrong choice by a accepting the advances of the wrong man, any number of HORRIFYING things can happen. Also MANY MANY more woman have been S Aed when growing up. No thanks ill take being a man anyday.
I honestly have no idea how to meet anyone now. Everyone is guarded even at places where being social is expected.
People don't want to leave their social bubble in person anymore than they do online.
The constant harassment and bullying both Online and Off is one of the reasons for it...sigh.
What are places that people are expected to be social?
Literally anywhere.
And the greed and being online and ever connected ruined it
@@SharpBalisongbars and clubs maybe?
Which sucks because I hate both 😂
@@Darth_Bateman I don't like being social anywhere. >.
I'm 37 and gave up on dating. I've had two dates in the last 6 years it's just become too difficult these days. I wish I can say I'm happy having given up, but it just feels like I failed at life.
Incidentally, in an anime called Mushoku Tensei, they say if you have a near death experience in a dungeon, you’ll be cursed to never be able enter one again if you don’t go back in quickly.
buddy i also went through something similer but i think we can still find a match if were upfront with what were looking for.
i withdrew from dating at the age of 23 because my last relationship ended in disaster and my so called 2 closest friends were the opposite of sopportive.
i went scorch-earth and cut ties with everyone (This was 2020) this year i decided to rebuild my social life by making new friends IRL, maybe you can try speed dating to meet someone in person or better yet join a soccer club for adults, it's never too late to turn your life around.
in fact your 30's is the perfect chance to reinvent yourself - Mark Manson
I never find box turtles when im looking for them. I never find box turtles anymore but im never in the woods
Yeah if you not top 20 it's unlikely you'll have a sex life. Im 49 been paying to play for 30 years
You didn't fail at life .... society is the failure and it will always be
I've dated with and without apps. The best thing I can suggest is in the face of the paradox of choice is to make your selection pool smaller. You get some good and some bad no matter what, that's normal. What isn't normal is broadening your search to the entire globe as apps trick you into doing. Keep your circle small and let others enter your space. Love finds you, never the other way around.
Yeah as someone in my 30s who would prefer to remain childless and won't do long distance again, the pool of eligible people I am attracted to is so damn small. I will never understand why people who have a good thing going with someone they are compatible with want to keep looking. Those seem like people who need serious help.
@@MadisonEstes To be honest your initial preference already sets your pool very small. Men usually want to have children of their own.
some sound advice in here
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
I deleted the apps because of how social media has completely flipped the switch on dating in the 21st century. People claim to be ready for relationships, but I end up getting strung on. I rather keep my peace at this point
In person interaction is the best imo
thats true until you stutter 48 times in a sentence with like 8 words
@@frid7434that’s a you problem, look up exposure therapy and fix that asap
Thats because you forgot how to talk in real life @@frid7434
@@frid7434 Sounds like a skill issue, just talk more
@@isimplyam-dud you're so funny
I don’t like the modern dating angle at all. As much as I’m working on adjusting to it and it’s not all bad, I miss what we lost on the way to get here.
I am a software engineer and I believe technology does not solve problems, it just changes its shape and character. i.e. you solve one problem, you get a new one that looks different
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
Dating's been a pain long before social media. Long story short trust issues between both sexes, poor advice on how to get a relationship, need for better emotional management, and being empathetic of both sides, not just one
But nowadays all the bad advices get passed around as if it's something everyone should do
@@noone12748 Disagree. Bad advice is a symptom of not understanding how things work, which is derived fr both a poor ability to make judgement calls about the world around you and an inability to decipher what the data means.
If you think bad advice is everywhere then maybe you should retrace your steps to only look places with evidence.
@@skyrailmaxima I don't know man, people telling you to prioritize lookmaxing, cutting out "toxic" people out of your lives and telling you that you should take the blame for everything that happens in a relationship seems like bad advice to me, not something you would hear a few years back when you asked for advice
@@noone12748 who said that was the solution? I said stop looking at advice and look to evidence.
All the things you listed are means but to what end? Do you understand why/would/would not do those things? For a specific outcome, they may be what you wanted. It may also be true that youre actual goal is unachievable or at least a very small fraction of people can statistically achieve it.
Only evidence can guide your actions properly. It may not be possible to get everything you want; so you must pick and choose.
Perhaps there is no advice for you, being completely f***** is also possible you know.
The "looksmaxxers" and the cutting out toxic element crowd is probably looking for one outcome. One outcome that is different than the ancient fall flat "be yourself" or "be a nice guy/girl" advice then turns around to not understand the consequences of unrestrained human nature. There is a lot of bad blood in the water, but you have to remember that people are turning to it because the advice of the past FAILED.
@@skyrailmaxima I don't see how it is that their advice failed since it's the modern dating scene that has taken a nosedive, the world wasn't full of raging narcissists back then, unlike today
im sorry, but the start up sound at 1:30 hit me with so much nostalgia i had to stop and take a breather bro. i thought it was in my head till i rewound
😄😄
Nearly 27 years old and I’ve never been on date, kissed a girl and no girl has ever showed interest in me in my entire life. I started using dating apps maybe about a year ago and I have had maybe 3 matches with a total of 0 dates. I just don’t even know what to do anymore. At such a young age people always said there’s someone out there for everyone but the harsh reality is there isn’t.
Leave the online world and enter the real. I know a 6''3' firemen that couldnt get a date in years. He got like 6 matches and no dates. Screw dating apps. It's designed for women to smash not for guys. Anyways it's no longer a dating app like 8-10ish years ago. It's a screwing app and a scam.
Try not using the internet for one week, exept for banking and really necessary stuff, it does wonders. Both for your physical and mental state. Once you get bored you'll start finding hobbies and meeting people outside of the online world. That's where the money's at.
@@carlthegamer9215you sure about that bro?
Something is wrong with you that you need to fix probably
@@DAMfoxygrampa IUTHS HIUS PURSONAHLITEE BROW JOUST GOW TUW DUH GYM BROW REAUUUUUUGGHHH
@@フフーガnormgroids wouldn't understand
it’s so true when you have many choices you will have to think to much to choose between them!!
And it kind of forces people to think on a very superficial level, when it's natural that person is special you're willing to put efforts and expecting efforts from the other side but now the one you went on a date is just one out of many options on your dates, we will only be seen as options, graded, compared, ranked never individually appreciated
Timestamps
1). Gray areas 0:35
2). Paradox of choice 1:33
3). Face to face 3:06
4). Rise of me 3:48
5). Trauma dumping 4:52
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you for the timestamps! I hope you have a great day friend
@@Darknight526 hope you have a great day too
I think #2 is what completely killed my last relationship. And the one before it. When she broke up with me, she told me I did absolutely nothing wrong but she just lost interest for no apparent reason, and even claiming she didn't know why. I thought we were an absolutely amazing couple, for 11 months. She started to lose interest, around the time she started being more social and she met a couple of new guy friends. She seemed like a really loyal person and I wasn't too worried about those couple of guy friends, but around the time she started showing signs of losing interest, she would talk about this one guy friend a lot, and it became very suspicious. I asked her about it and she said she had no intentions of dating him at all, but didn't know why she was losing interest. So i did confirm that she was losing interest
After a little while, she eventually made the decision and broke up with me, as it seemed like she was debating for like a whole month if she wanted to keep going. She said she wasn't sure if she wanted to date some of the other guys she met, but she said she was talking to them more often to see if she could find out if she liked them or not, which hearing this just kinda destroyed me. Like why would she do that? Seems like she kinda lied about having no interest in dating any of her new guy friends. Seems like she must've been trying to imagine what it wouldve been like dating another guy instead of me, which put her brain into this loop of not knowing what to do.
I really feel like it was such a missed opportunity, like we never had any arguments or anything bad happen in the time we were dating, and this is the 2nd time in a row i've lost a relationship because of this. A little over a year before i started my last relationship with her, I got broken up with by a girl and LITERALLY THE SAME THING HAPPENED. she just suddenly lost interest for no apparent reason, and literally said the same shit like "you did nothing wrong, it's not you, it's me. im so sorry but i want you to know it's not your fault". like seriously? why did this have to happen to me 2 different times
Chad appeared in her life and you were an obstacle for her happiness.
Modern women bullshit. Inflated ego and easy access to any guy she wants plus the starving males out there will do that over and over again. It's almost like you have to treat them bad from time to time or they loose interest. it's sad and i hate it.
it'll be ok, try to focus on the fact that you're in control of your life and your choices. Someone who truly appreciates you and your love will eventually come along. Be patient :)
@@patfreire_ our mind is the toy of the environment/place/situation.
If you are young, they are doing you favor, because they are not ready for commitment
I wish I had been born at that time. Imagine receiving a single letter every week ,the excitement and suffering of waiting, so romantic.
To be honest, I agree with you. I don’t like texting people that much because it’s not really intimate to be tapping on a piece of glass all day.
I like to talk with people in person, hold hands and hug, There you get a feeling of fuzzy warmth inside you.
I’ve never touched a trashy dating/hook up app and I never will. I’m old fashioned, and I wish more people felt the same
Same
More people do feel the same.... but we're all invisible from the loud people who are swiping and addicted to the options/grass is greener mentality
Never go there. Its absolute cancer.
Same❤
I feel the same about dating apps but just where are you supposed to go to do "old fashioned" dating?
I quitted social media because I couldn't bear with the absence of discovering knowing someome, and with the passing of time this made my connection with other people change in a better way (I restored boundaries and gave back the value of listen and talk to someone).
I've been with the same person for a decade, long distance for 5, lived with them for 5.
I'm happy to be with my partner, and honestly if we broke it up or if he passed, I'd honestly never date again because the dating world (from what I observed) is just depressing.
Oh cool! How did you guys meet?
@easiestcc6451 We met through an art website, and when we decided to meet irl we went to a convention together. I traveled with some friends just in case things didn't turn out good, but thankfully everything went great. ❤
I have no social media. No Facebook, no Snapchat, no Instagram, no Tik Tok, no Twitter, nothing. I blame the inability for me to find anybody even moderately interested in dating that hasn't been consumed by the polyamorous hookup culture, the "ick" culture, and "sizzle sizzle", entirely on social media. It has ruined the meaning, the joy, and the sense of purpose that a relationship is supposed to provide. It wasn't so long ago that I would be able to compliment a random woman in public, and for her to receive it as an act of kindness, and not me trying to be a creep for having the audacity to speak in her presence, or look at her in that way without paying her. Relationships are no longer about that feeling of longing, connection, and partnership. Instead, they are about status, money and security. I so desperately hope that sooner rather than later, more people start to realize just how much this "connection" the internet has provided us is being used in such a self-destructive way.
Plus social media has ruined what relationship truly means. It doesnt have a meaning! Voila. Relationship can go from being two lovers on a rock and still win at life for 25+ years. It doesnt follow a set of rules needed to be followed just to have a longer relationship. Social media has ruined and makes every ideas clash and when those ideas or rules dont meet it often leads to failed relationship. Just like what I did before. I messed up a potentially my lifetime partner because of insecurities and this and that. That had my confidence ruined. If only I was having more experience outside then I could've easily have something to share with her and stuffs etc etc. so boys listen up delete your social media and get more experience outside so that when time comes you'd be sharing more stories and definitely have a more genuine connection rather than just plastic relationship through social media.
Exactly, god i miss the 90's - early 2000's - Before everyone became crazy and think online is the real.
and no youtube
Man that’s a ton of text. It’s not that serious. It won’t kill ya
@@peachcobbler641 ''It's not that serious'' you are right‚ but that is irrelevant
it took less than five minutes for that comment to be written‚ what is your point?
The guy i like right now is so sweet and i think he likes me back but i do wish it was easier to talk in person. I want us to get to know each other through conversations, not social media posts. At the same time im grateful because thats how we even started to talk in the first place, he replied to a comment i made and we started texting. There are pros and cons to modern dating and i wish all of you good luck, wether your looking for someone right now or focusing on yourself, have a good life and spread kindness 💗
Update: I was humiliated at school and when he saw me he laughed 🙃
Yeah, he likes you for sure. You should make a move.
I deleted dating apps so long ago and just put myself out there. A dating coach I used to work with kept pushing m to use them. When I told her they don't work, she bashed me for it. I ended up firing her and I met someone in the process by going out there
That' s how I met my husband, the old school way, through friends.
Yes definitely meeting people in person is better bcuz idk how to say this but you can feel more connected to them in person than online
Sounds like that dating coach was either terrible at their job or had money invested in dating apps
@@Jack1994hoo it wouldn't surprise me if both. I found out about other things about her that really didn't sit well with me, so I say it was good riddance
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
Technology, filters, and laziness ruined modern dating. I also have a very hard time trusting people theses days because I always end up being used or treated like I'm an ATM and that doesn't fly with me.
I feel you I can understand that it's messed up when you get with someone
and you get used by someone you thought loved you but was using you all along that can make can make someone to have trust issues really sad
You think it sucks being treated like an ATM? Try being treated like a sex doll. Being told you can come over and have sex with someone you are in love with who acted like they were so in love with you, but suddenly he doesn't want you to meet his friends, just come over and satisfy his sexual needs when it's convenient for him. Imagine loving someone with all your heart and they treat you like a sex doll. It's the worst feeling in the entire world. I wish people who are not capable of emotional connection would all go live in an island somewhere away from everyone else...
Btw it does suck getting treated like an ATM, I'm just pointing out some things are even worse...
Filters are not even close to the worst thing about dating. That's an incredibly shallow perspective. How about people who date you for months, act like they are in love with you, then out of nowhere tell you they are not emotionally ready for a relationship despite that being something you talked about from day 1? What about commitment phobes and people who just blantantly disrespect you and think you should plan around their schedule so they are never inconvenienced? Or people who just don't know what they want...all are much worse than filters.
First of all, i’m incredibly sorry that happened to you and i wish you the best, but trauma/suffering is not and never should be a competition what you are doing now is just plain wrong. Do you have any idea how many people refuse to get therapy or help because they think or get told that others have it way worse so their problems aren’t that big? I’m assuming you aren’t aware of the effects this might have, but you should never tell a person that you’ve had it worse and then add a short text saying their experience was bad as well that’s horrible behaviour and you easily could have told your story without downplaying someone else’s experiences when they’re also suffering
Replying to @MadisonEstes by the way, my youtube is bugging out a bit so it doesn’t show on my original reply and i can’t edit it.
I always used this type of comments from others
thank you❤
1: gray areas 0:35
2: parsdox of choice 1:33
3: face to face 3:06
4: Rise of me 3:48
5: trauma dumping 4:53
Thank you😊
Thanks
@@tile-maker 🙏❤️❤️
@@JustRaii. 🙏❤️❤️
Social Media and modern attitudes to the world have ruined it. People have become much shallower, more focused on physical features without getting to know people personally, less willing to communicate and compromise/work through problems or differences…
I agree with you.
I’ll stay single I don’t care. Literally they’ll ask you out on a date through a text. They’ll argue through texts. It’s so stupid. Thank God forbid you wanna speak to them on the phone and act like you murdered their cat
To be honest, i never used a dating app, and never considered using one, and now i have more reasons to do so, and i am pretty glad i did so.
Don't, took me years to recover any self worth and confidence.
I can totally understand and relate to this. Most of my relationships have been online, and when one decided to vanish it devastated me and made me mistrustful of all of them. I remember going to a convention last year and finally meeting some new people. It was the best moment of my life to actually physically meet new people and draw meaningful relationships. I am looking forward to that same event this year (only a few days from now!!!!!!)
Hope it goes well!!!
@@SkittleWaffle It has so far. Next week I'll be at that convention again, and I'm looking forward to seeing my friends again.
Have fun!!!
@@wafflecone6968 I did, and made some great memories.
JUST MONIKA!!!
DDLC REFERENCE!!!
just yuri!
JUST DOKI DOKI!
Hey! I just found a man of culture here!
Monika mentioned
I am still equally as jaded as when it was back in the day. I'm 30 years old and when I was 8 years old I wished for a personal love note or a special gift. I even wished for a simple date at age 16. Never ever got it. To this day, I have given up on it forever.
Well keep going! You’re gonna get one eventually
When you are not even looking that is when it seems to happen.
Yup. Good call. Unless you have a lot of money to spend on ridiculously priced subscriptions, dating apps is a waste of time
@@Nola5427 you are a woman. Guys come to you. He is a man. Your advice is useless. Your advice works on women. not on men.
@@jat1726 Don't tell people when you understand nothing. Empty words never helped anyone. And when you're already single for so long, every new encouragement only serves to annoy because that's pretty much the 1st thing everyone says when it subject is brought up. And of course none of the people who ever say it would even consider dating the person they're saying it to.
I hate how NEEDY modern dating is!!! You’re telling me I could’ve retained a long term relationship for years with a letter every few months and these days if you don’t text a chick back In 30 minutes she has a mental breakdown or assumes you’re losing interest. Like NO I LIKE YOU I JUST HATE TEXTING AND SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'm 30, and never have had a date. Always feel like I need to get my career going before I can even get into a relationship despite the unfortunate challenges with the modern age. I'm just stuck in portfolio purgatory before I can finally apply to jobs. But I feel like even when I am finally ready for a relationship, its not going to happen. I'm just better off trying to find enjoyment in life by myself. No girlfriend, no friends, just me trying to achieve goals I have in mind.
The technology is pure. Political ideologies are the real problem. Facebook and Twitter taught me this world would never accept the real me. Platforms like this one show a certain political ideology will always prevail because it gets to pick the winners and losers. I cannot change the fact I was born white and male but the left constantly remind me how little value I have. I can only pretend to not completely and utterly hate myself for never being good enough for the overinflated self value feminism has granted women while on the daily basis further devalues man as a whole. I am the real me here because I don't have to pretend here and I will always be grateful there is somewhere I can be myself even if I pray I do not wake up every night I got to bed.
I miss old romance yall
I don t.
Why? @@unlimited971
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
Women get paradox of choice, men get the blackpill. Everyone loses and the population continues to decline.
Same
To be honest, I've never had luck with dating apps. Not from having too many choices, but not being chosen. I'm lucky to run into someone to talk to let alone anything more. Although I know people find it odd when someone actually talks in return rather than a simple hi or emoji. I guess my communication style and what I'm like is a general turn off with other complications of my life. On the plus side, it leaves more time for me to just be me without having to keep someone else in mind.
Let me guess, you're a male. If so, don't use dating apps. it's a scam and it will destroy your self esteem.
First relationship wound up with an extreme narcissist, as a result, also my last. These days, social media and toxic culture make it way too dangerous, even if I could trust anyone.
My first relationship was amazing, sadly they passed away. Then, my latter two relationships were just so self centred that they would claim they "wanted to help me" yet never actually do anything to help me, claiming they did not know how to help me in my times of crisis when all I needed was them simply being there, just like I was for them. Honestly, they put me off people, let alone dating.
More connected than ever, yet more disconnected than ever.
Online dating made me think all women hated me and wanted me to cease existing.
It feels like they do hate us all
I have a girlfriend, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but man. I genuinely thought that I was going to be a loner for the rest of my life. I never even thought of being in a relationship, it just kinda happened. But I'm so glad it did.
Don't ever take her for granted!!! Cherish her!
It's the choices one. Particularly the huge amount of choices the average woman has on the apps, gives the average guy little chance on those. That in turn hurts men's confidence which makes them even less eligible.
I have noticed flickers and vibes of attraction seem to come by easier while interacting with women in person. Our natural instincts for attraction during casual face to face interaction are still there, but we've become so reliant on unnatural means.
It's like, off the internet you can find success as an average looking person. This is true whether man or woman. On the internet, a man seemingly needs to be an "8" or better for consideration. And, what makes a man an 8 online are often many stringent and specific criteria beyond whether or not he's "kinda cute" on the natural level.
I agree...also whenever I'm out riding somewhere I always see people on they phones alot while they walking or when they sitting somewhere but yea interaction in person is better than online you feel well connected to the woman in person
Try telling this to my ex who left me so he could keep using the apps to try to find someone more convenient who lives less than one hour away and will never ask him to adjust his schedule for her. We had a great relationship, but he threw it all away because he thinks he will find something better on the apps.
It is *not impossible* to form meaningful bonds and relationships online - however at some point there needs to be a balance between the digital and the real. It’s something I’ve said before and I will always say it: you cannot know personality or apply tone to text. It’s miscommunication at its finest. If you don’t know how someone communicates in person, how it translates emotionally, etc…you’re not gonna understand what anyone is saying through text alone.
Absolutely loved this video! It’s eye-opening to see how modern dating trends can impact our mental health and relationships. Thanks for highlighting these important issues. Keep crafting🚀👏
Social media has ruined almost everything. I have never dated in my life but I can see that even dating is affected by the fast changing technology which is a disadvantage because there's no longer pure love and connections. Everything is about technology and gadgets which is kinda sad and toxic
I completely agree, I’ve been trying to get some of my friends to stop online dating. Taking things slow and not jumping straight to what people dating for years would do. There are some aspects in modern dating in real life aswell. Nowadays, people don’t know how to have a proper meaningful relationship. Those who do though, I give my utmost respect. Great video :)
What is something people dating for years would do?
@@SharpBalisong I’d say make out, send pictures of.. stuff etc. Some people have different opinions so It varies
Any time a guy says he wants to take things slow, all he means is that he wants to act like we are in a relationship without having to put a label on it so he can keep his options open in a guilt free way. It is the anthem of commitment phobes. No thanks. The whole point of dating is to see if you work as a couple. So why would you wait years to do things couples do?
I do understand waiting on making the relationship sexual, but that's only to deter people with bad intentions/liars. Other than that, there is no point in waiting to act like you are in a relationship while dating as that is the whole point of dating.
@@lucacito_ Sounds reasonable.
@@MadisonEstes Sorry you feel that way or have had that experience. It's different for different people. My personal reason for wanting to take things slow is because getting hurt and used in past relationships. AKA trust issues.
Honestly the idea that too many choices negatively effects the relationship you're in hits close to home. I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, she's done so much for me and my life wouldn't be close to what it is right now without her, but when we go through bad times or just randomly sometimes i get the stupid urge to just re-download tinder just to check it out. Ofc i never did and i stop myself but i feel like the overabundance of choice makes me value what i have less, and i feel so stupid writing this because i know none of the people on there would ever mean as much to me as she already does
At least you are honest about it and you know no one else would compare to what you both have, no relationship is perfect or always will be.
Grass always looks greener on the other side... Remind yourself downloading Tinder is cheating even if you are just looking. Also consider therapy.
It’s great that you acknowledge it though, all you have to do is just be open and make an effort to communicate. I’m sure you guys will make it!
Don't do it. Trust me. You'll just get clowned around by insane people. Cherish what you have if she's loyal and loving. Settle for it. Don't be like all those crazy women out there.
Perfection does not exist. Remember that.
man i wish we could live in the 90s
This is why I'm 37 and single. Not by choice but because this is the system I got stuck in. Now everyone is always focused on age or appearance and not a person. Pretty much guarantee's that I will unfortunately be alone likely for my life because I at least have 1 if not both of those problems. Its just all around horrible and has destroyed relationships and its concept.
Look into the blackpill. Itll put you at peace.
Same I'm 15 and ill likely not get in a relationship
@@Shadow92105 what makes you give up so early?
@@zankom417 ever since the day my older sister ran away from home my depression got worser and i have had alot past traumas too i severely got beat up at school when i was 13 and my dad brought me to a animal slaughter once with no warning and that scard me for life and i always dreamed big but now I dont even know if ill succed in life or even have a future and honestly i would rather die then even try to make my parents proud and they keep comparing me and always dismiss my feelings and say things like its all in your head your not depressed and im the biggest hypocrite and im the biggest hater of myself and am so harsh to myself that i made myself cry and took my negative thoughts about myself too far
@@Shadow92105 Little bro, i worked in a slaughterhouse for 5 years and didnt want to because i had a bills to pay an dnobody else hired, my own father beat me, my mother hated me, i was put in special classes for violent children and teenagers and i'll spare you the worst.
Today i'm a welder by trade, i was a proffessional skateboarder for 7 years and have been with my girl for 12 years.
Don't worry about sensitive stuff. Just do you and everything will work out. Screw whatever people think screw whatever people want from you. Think of you and you alone and the girl/boy will appear at some point. DO NOT LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLES AGENDAS. If you hate something say it openly and discard anyone that doesnt agree.
It’s such a great risk these days.
What's the alternative? You have to take risks.
@@nocturnaljoe9543yeah i'd rather be alone than abused
@@Luluuu34 Be alone, you will still get abused. You have to pay more taxes than people with children. So you are financing them with your money. Women spend the majority of money, look it up. Pick your hell.
we only got "one" life. so better taking the risk and getting some bruises on the way, than missing out on colorful experiences - the good and not so good ones. it turns us into a more well-rounded human being with plenty of resiliance and stories to look back to once we get older
1:36 deadass I heard windows 7 boot-up sound
Same
I want more on the trauma dumping thing. I have a big problem with doing it because I want the person to know the real me, I don't them to take control of it. I am not a victim of it, many many people have experienced far worse trauma's. Acknowledging the past shows acceptance of who I am, imperfect, but also of greater depth of character and available empathy for other's, the problem is most people who think they want truth and honesty in their relationship only want it if it's all positives or to give them power to hurt and manipulate the honest person.
If you were really overcoming the trauma you wouldn’t feel the need to tell people about it. You’re coping, but telling other people will scare them away. I do the same thing but I’m working toward being better about it. Everyone has baggage, that doesn’t mean someone you just met wants to carry yours.
Never done dating, i am pretty happy for having other things to go for.
Not even sure how dating works in this day and age. Always had to be the perfect one when I was in a relationship as well as being expected to listen to every single problem the other had. But the moment I brought up a problem I was going through (pretty big ones due to being attacked in some way for no reason), I was instantly abandoned. One that stuck with me was being attacked right after a breakup during the pandemic. All because I dropped out of college for my own mental health. Can't trust anyone knowing that they'll likely hurt me in some way for self gain or for sheer fun.
For some one who finds it hard to meet a potential life partner in front, the dating apps kinda give hope but it's really really really super duper hard to find potential life partner
honestly, I consider this an illusion. I've been initiating dates by approaching women offline. I got better results than with online dating by far. I had several relationships thanks to this more traditional approach. sometimes the seemingly "hard" approach is the easier one long-term
I hate modern dating so much, with autsim its already hard enough to navigate dating, and this just makes it worse.
I have autism too. Im shy but now i am beware and attented now days. Modern woman teach me one thing, not trust in them at all. Only even being kind they will saw that like a harrashment action.
Is very sad since im trying to be a gelentman, now everyone can see that like a SIMP
Honestly, I completely agree. I'm currently a little over 6 months into my first ever romantic relationship and the person I'm with is not someone I met online or through a dating app, we just met through school and have been best friends for 3 years before we got together
I'm genuinely the happiest I've ever been, and while the modernity of it helps a lot with communication what with texting and calling and all that, being able to see him every day at school 'n have weekly in-person dates helps me feel so much closer to him
(I am also a self-defined "huge romantic", so I try and do romantic things as often as I can, and it kinda reminds me of my parents, but in a good way-)
Tbh, the issue is that so many people wanted to he bad boys and bad girls and it made a rap music dating scene, our insecurities has grown to hurt ourselves more now then it use to be. I feel like a lot of us nowadays feel more worthless in a relationship now than you used to back in the day...
Like relationship and love isn't private nor is s*x, it's as open as ads on a mobile game app, and all we say is " it is what it is".
One thing that made my socialization situation worse was the pandemic, before it I knew how to talk to people, but then the pandemic, together with the internet, created a bubble around me where I forgot how to socialize with people, how to open up topics, among others, today I'm trying to open up more to people but it's not like before, sometimes I feel like going back in time to 2016 or 2018, before I forgot how to talk to someone, but I don't know, I think if it were different it wouldn't be me
Which is why I’m good. Just gonna continue to focus on myself cause there are WAY too many factors. It’s honestly sad but it is what it is. I’ll continue to just be myself, if I’m lucky enough to experience the ups and downs of being in a relationship then great and if not eh. Life is already hard as is without the extra pressure so I’m grateful for what I have.
Hmm this is a tricky one… while I am aware that dating has always been difficult. This day and age has made it more complex if that makes any sense??
Now I’ve met all sorts of lovely people thanks to dating apps in the past, and yeah sometimes dating apps can work with some people but not for everyone. Especially when it starts to become more and more straining without having any success that does take a toll on one’s wellbeing. However when I’m feeling down for my dating life, I remember being told to remind myself that “no matter what happens I’m going to be okay”. 👍
Honestly, being aware of that you're fully self-sufficient is one of the steps towards finding your partner. Many people think they need someone to be their half, when in reality our partners are extensions to us and they help us grow. So, just keep going. You're doing well.
This video is so wrong,women have it so easy,they are the ones who have the paradox of choice
What's also a bad feeling is, when you've chosen one person you like and you want to be with, but that person has so many other potential partners interested in them, that they end up choosing noone, and you can't shake of the feeling of:"If they hadn't so much people interested in them they would've chosen me..."
Edit: In conjunction with the feeling "If I would've been better, this person would've chosen me..."
It might not even be true, but it's an awful feeling nonetheless.
This self-critizicing, inner voice sounds familiar to me. It is an ever-green topic among people who learn to understand their minds and how to overcome it. spoiler alert: we don't overcome it. we learn how to communicate with it so that we hold the steering wheel of our life in our hands. coming back to the situation you observed with this person you were interested in, it sounds like a typical case of analysis paralysis. it requires self-awareness and a basic level of psychology for someone to understand that they are facing this dilemma you described. sometimes, making a decision can be hard, unless we learn how to make them consciously. for that, i consider a basic level of self-awareness an important ability I wish to see in my future partner. since this person didn't seem to have it, it might be he/she filtered himself out there and wasn't ready to be with you at this point of time you met him/her. it is quite unfortunate, though we always learn something along the way.
I SAW THE THUMBNAIL AND THE FIRST FRAME AND IMMEDIATELY KNEW NAPHIA ANIMATED THIS- the iconic color scheme and brush omg
I haven't gave up hope. I met the most amazing girl online and she was my first and so far only girlfriend. We were 5000 miles away from each other but completely and genuinely in love. Never shared that close of a connection with someone since and I always beat myself up for running away from the relationship when I was worried it wasn't going to work out. This past year I've been going incredibly hard on myself.
Who’s gonna tell em?
@@duckyh9712 Sorry but I don't need anyone to tell me anything unless you have some unspoken wisdom lol. I learnt every lesson I needed to from what happened and it made me a stronger and better person.
@@MalakSmalaklong range relationships doesn't work unless you already had kids with the person
@@sp123 I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with a long distance relationship 🤷♂🤷♂🤷♂
Im not scared to talk to anybody, the problem is that my mind assumes its going to be the same rejection story that sounds like an excuse and feels like you had a death in the family
The fact that I asked my girlfriend out with a love poem and chocolate and roses and we ate dating IRL our relationship is like an old romantic's movie lol
That's good 😊
Thanks so much
I hope your relationships are just as wonderful
Awwww so cute!!!
Did that
Got ghosted
??????
The paradox of abundance: as abundant as our prospective romantic options are, nowadays we can also be incredibly picky with who we end up with. Instead of looking past differences, we instead cut and run at the first sign of trouble.
At least we can fix Monika, right guys? Just Monika xD
Social media, and the overall world right now as we had transitioned from the past to present has screwed dating over all, not only for the people dating right now, but for people trying to date
Monika has been slowly taking over my social media pages recently. I'm not complaining at all.
Honestly, even Monika would be a better choice than many women I've encountered recently.
Who’s Monika?
@@amc-world3956She’s a character from a game called Doki Doki Literature Club. I recommend checking the game out. It has some deep lore and I think you’ll enjoy it
@@amc-world3956 I think she's an anime character in a game.
@@LtGhost-tb3kqa character from a cute game called Doki doki literature club. Go play it
My DMs been really quiet since this dropped 🗣️🔥
Pd: Thanks for all your tips and videos on mental health!! They helped me a lot while going through stuff. God bless u ❤
i personally find the trauma dumping one a bit... stupid? like, if you are uncomfortable or have problems with someone sharing and talking about their issues, do you even care about them? in my opinion, a real relationship includes caring and being a support for eachother
It can be a bit overwhelming to be dealing with your own problems and then having someone else unload all theres onto you, but yeah i see where you’re coming from
I am 6.1 feet tall, weigh 80 kg with a six-pack and tattoos, have a lot of money, a nice car, a good job, and yet I still can't manage to get a girlfriend. It's driving me crazy.
Stuck in the McSuburbs too?
Another big factor in my opinion is the fact we have VERY inconsistent dating etiquette or tips. Im not trying to push conservative behavior but i get extremely confused on what to look out for on a first date or dating etc because of the contradiction in advice I get! My parents are from a generation where it seemed inappropriate to teach your children how to date. But taught me a little what to look for in marriage.
Tragically, I had to learn ALL my dating tips on my own the HARSH way. I really wished my parents taught me about red flags, date safety, etiquette for myself and the man im on a date with. It really would have weaved out ALOT of losers!
Its also good to note Lust in modern day relationships, tending to look at other men or women instead of your own can damage a lot of things like trust and loyalty, social media adds to lust.
Yep, a lot of people these days have grass is greener in the other side mentality and Fear of Missing Out. "My partner is great...but what is there is something even better out there for me?" Too many people walk away from great relationships because of this...
All the girls dating the same dude while the rest of the 90% of men get no dates. And women are just ok sharing and getting hurt
Trust me, most women are not okay sharing and getting hurt...we get lied to. And some of us even settle in the looks department or else we date guys who are short and we still get screwed over, so why would we date someone less attractive when they are just as likely to dump you or treat you badly as the attractive guys? Heck, the last dude I dated said he almost never got second dates and a lot of girls used him for free food. And that guy screwed me over because I fell for him and he randomly decided he didn't want a relationship after we dated 3 months with the intention of being in a relationshio so stop blaming women because even when we date the guys who don't get a lot of dates, we still get screwed! No guy appreciates someone who loves him anymore. When you finally get someone who loves you, you want to see if you can do even better.
Y'all sound perfect for each other
Modern dating has become a war for attention.
Another issue right now is we have women who will settle for no less than a 10/10, have unlimited options on dating apps & feel that hookup culture is empowering and men who get all their dating advice from pyramid-scheme "self-improvement" influencers and treat dating like a game of chess.
Just seek the real, down to earth people in life and you will find greater happiness in not just dating, but life in general!
I have never used a dating site and never plan to. I only use UA-cam as a social media platform.
Dating sites today is basically Ashley Madison. People have lack of self control and yet wonder why we have such a huge problem with STD’s. Yet blame the other person who gave them the std. You don’t have to have sex and you can have so much more respect for yourself.
Almost every woman I've met in the past 5 years seem to have bad relationships with their parents, especially their father. They treated me like how their parents treated them. It's so awful.
If you want to know a person's character, evaluate their relationships with their parents.
Can you guys do a video on self harm, and the psychology on why some may do it, but also how to overcome it in a healthy way. I think it would be very helpful to those who may have or thought of it. But also it can be help those who are trying to help others who may be dealing with it. I know it's a deep topic and such, but it can potentially be beneficial for those dealing with it.
My therapist asked why i used to do it, and i didn’t really have an answer. I figured it was addiction to the endorphins, but he pointedly asked ‘did you want yourself to hurt? Or did you do it when you were emotionally overwhelmed?’ And he was totally right, it was always when i was emotionally overwhelmed, and didn’t know how else to relieve the feeling of panic. So there are going to be many reasons behind why people self h@rm
While modern dating culture/tech are certainly problematic, I feel like it's often too conveniently used as a scapegoat to dodge any accountability in dating (or even other relational) behaviors. Things like dating apps and social media are in the end just tools (powerful ones that is), we still have agency on how we use them. Should I ghost people? Should I let the abundance of choice divide my attention? If we just accept that these tools have ultimate control over our dating approach, we're screwed. Maybe we already are.
We long are. You know what else we keep doing? Never recognize and blame the root who actively caused all this: women.
I think that the problem comes from both sides, not just women. Despite how problematic them chicks can be, we can’t just ignore the effects of those dudes that took advantage of them, making them traumatized to the point where they act Irrational. I think this whole thing is just a societal problem. Those romantic movies and literature be making people be too idealistic, when it comes to how they view what a love life is like and what the “perfect” partner should look like. That is how I see it.
Whenever anyone talks about how technology has ruined relationships, I immediately think about the impact of two years of lockdown. If you tell someone to stay at home and rely on technology for all social interactions for two years, that creates a habit. Anything done for two years becomes a habit. It's hardly surprising that most people didn't abandon technology afterwards. This is why so many pubs, clubs, etc. have closed afterwards. Someone really should have considered all this.
Even before the pandemic it was very hard to even encounter girls in the McSuburbs where I live.
I don't live here by choice.
After highschool the only place I could realistically encounter girls was at anime conventions, which are a money pit & require extensive driving.
I am almost reaching my 30th and a few weeks ago I tried out tinder for the first time. And boy am I not prepared for that. Hookup culture is not for me.
giving up is so liberating
Monika in the thumbnail 🔥
This is actually scary, it feels as if she's following me lmao
I think I kind of grew numb in this modern dating world. While I do land dates every now and then, they don't last more than one to three dates. Some do mutually want a serious relationship, but I may not be the right match for them and just be friends or never talk again. I stopped letting rejection get to me and just be kind to them if I get rejected. If they feel like we don't connect, then we don't connect. Life just goes on. Do I get sad about it? Sure, but I'm not gonna let it get to me. What I do think about when it comes to dating someone is if I like them or not. We can be fine through text, but if it's not working out the first few dates, then it is what it is. Control what you can control and don't let the world get to you.
Here's a tip. If you have single friends, introduce them to your other single friends. They'll both appreciate you giving them the opportunity to form a meaningful offline connection.
Don't worry about things like "Oh, if they don't work out I'll lose two friends", that's overthinking. You're doing your friends a disservice if you don't introduce them.
People have been lying to me using me cheating on me and leaving on me since 2016 and now people are saying modern dating is toxic 😂
People been saying it Shanika
I’ve been cheated on by every relationship since 2009, the internet and social media didn’t create the problem, only made it more apparent how common itnis
I’m hopping my last few years in the education system as a student will let me meet someone in person!
Because it’ll be harder to find someone to bond with in-person without being in school