This is NOT narcissistic baiting
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"Dog- Whistling" is another favorite insidious tactic of Narcs. It's intended to be subtle & often deployed when you & your narc are amongst a group of people, socially, or in mtgs. @ the workplace. ( narcs require an audience to pull this off). This is when you share an embarrassing secret or information w/the narc that's meant to be confidential & the narc subtly speaks to the audience about it to shame you, knowing that was a direct shot @ you, yet, the audience doesn't know that...in the hope's to get you to snap in front of everyone. It's often used before, during, & after your smear campaign as proof/evidence to fit & sell their narrative to all who've witnessed it, that "you're unstable, wackadoodle, passive/aggressive, & completely unhinged.
I think this is actually baiting. Dog whistling is when a person sends a message that is intended for an unspecified group of people who all share the same thought or opinion as the dog whistler. You who are not in the dog whistler's crowd won't get it. But those who agree with the dog whistler will.
“ You’re so sensitive. There’s a prescribed way to talk to you” and then I was the unhinged one when I snapped. Yeah, I was baited.
_“ Wisdom. . . comes not from age, but from education and learning. ”_
- *ANTON CHEKHOV* 👏😊
😊👏😊👏😊👏😊👏😊👏😊👏
My mother in law was the queen of baiters and I fell for it EVERY TIME!
She is now gone, I divorced her precious child, I’ve learned my lesson….finally!
Shout out to you brother just experienced the same experience with you. I am sure your mother in law as is mine see her child as perfect as a diamond and you were the problem. No contact and leaving is the best option
Heck yeah! Narcissistic Enmeshment! For when you already thought you were as stressed as humanly possible!
This is very well explained. I didn't understand narcissism until a few months after our relationship was over. I took the bait most of the time and lost a friend that believes her story that I'm the one that's unhinged. These videos have been real helpful in the long process of letting go of the anger about the injustice of it all.
I believe that those we are meant to lose, even temporarily, will make room for those who are meant to come in. Difficult, though.
@@terrim9885 definitely in a more positive state now. Discovered this channel in April. Certain topics hit home.
It’s the confusion that makes it almost impossible to detect the abuse. The constant questioning (a never ending guilt trip) on our perception and motives behind questioning it at all (for we’re trying to be good people and fair with the significant other), happens every time we’re gaslighted and approached with contempt. It’s exhausting and could open the door to real mental illness, if not identified and corrected in a timely manner. Thanks Dr. Ramani, for your videos.
That's so true. Being in a position where those around you constantly say you're reactions aren't appropriate and your memories are incorrect will almost certainly lead to mental health problems. After all, the goal is to get you to believe reality isn't real and being unable to tell what's real and trust your own senses and thoughts is basically the definition of mental illnesses. Dealt with bipolar, borderline and cptsd and though it's clear the trauma didn't completely cause everything, without the trauma it's unlikely it would have ever become severe enough to be classed as a mental illness.
Picking fights to let off steam. Or because they need a cheap win to boost their day/reassure them. Nailed it!
I have almost marveled at the relentlessness some people have in trying to provoke you into snapping back at them, a kind of evil super power. Doesn't even seem human. I mean, "Where does this endless energy come from?!" Can be extremely exhausting for those on the receiving end. And confusing. My standard, learned, self-preserving response - even if only in my head - when I realize I need to distance myself from this kind of situation or cut off people completely (even people I love) is "Vaya con Dios." No hatred, no animosity. No engagement in chaos, either. Just sending them away with God's blessing.
PS This unfortunate choice is usually very painful but necessary, at least for a season.
All that time and energy, you'd think if they applied that towards doing good, they'd be wonderful humanitarians.
Yet they are seemingly impervious to even recognizing God's Blessings.
The spiritual aspect of narcissist abuse -- 'Where did/do they get the energy?"
Energy that exhaust and drains? Well, I'm living, learning and witnessing that it ain't from a benevolent God that wants for me (and you), in this life, all that is healthy, good, righteous, uplifting, or kind. PERIODT!
*🎤 Drop
@N M 😅
Ahhhh yes, Terri!! But our God, and their “Godless” are such opposing forces, verdad? They are the devils children. 👿🔥
I have been baited from my mom and brother I’m so hurt and confused and I have done nothing but defend myself all they do is provoke you then when snap at them they wanna play victim and make up lies
Dr Ramani does a video on Greyrock/going DEEP that may help you x
My husband always asks me a question, I answer it, and then attacks me or belittles me when he doesn't like my answer. Usually silly things that don't matter. But my favorite is when he asks me if I'm upset or mad at him. When I say yes and tell him why then he gets mad and defensive and attacks me verbally. I constantly get baited into that one. It's like why ask? Don't ask me a question and then not be able to handle the answer. Then it leads into me having to defend myself against his verbal abuse which makes him even more mad and abusive. Then I get very hurt and upset from the continued abuse and I fight back and it gets nuts. Then when I've lost it, he twists it all on me and says it's my fault cause I'm a crazy psycho.
I hear you! Some days are hard, I really wish I didn’t have this narcissistic foolish husband 😂😂😂😂 let me laugh because i cry alot! I spent my 20’s thinking i was the problem! He convinced me that! I fell for all the baiting, yesterday was my 33 birthday and even though i was happy for myself, I just felt sad knowing that this fool is never happy when am happy!!! Jeez, it’s hard to believe someone could be mad because you’re happy
I think we have the same husband. It is completely maddening! It's such stupid questions too, like which person is more attractive a or b and he doesn't like that answer and makes fun of me and goes on and on about it. Then I stick up for myself and tell him to stop and its not funny and all hell breaks loose! Then in the end he tells me I suck to hang out with and then I get the silent treatment. Oh and the asking me if I'm upset, totally always happens. I say yes, and then explain why and he flies off the handle and says "I just won't talk to you as to not upset you." God, it's awful. I've been in this hell for 16 years.
Yes, I can totally relate. Sounds sooo similar. I hate to hear that you have to deal with this too, but hearing your story is validating...it's real, I'm not crazy, and it's not just me. Hang in there.
It seems they all share a single braincell.. like orange striped cats except they are evil lol
I make jokes because I can't believe I've been fighting the same battle with the same person who has been horrendous. He's seeing a therapist and he's already blamed me for not telling her the terrible things he's done because he can't remember.
Get this
He has delusional amnesia... or that's his new thing. I swear I have worked so incredibly hard on my inner world, I tried everything to make myself into a person he'd love and respect. The beauty is that now I know, I don't care and I am almost in-perturbable
Which is now getting him upset and he's saying all the right things but he is then acting out behind his own back and he comes to me and apologizes when I haven't said anything because indifference is my liberation. I told him I finally got a really great night sleep and felt amazing for the first time in months. He actually looked upset😂 then he sends me a text saying he was so happy I was getting a "win" finally
Then he sends me a bunch of trigger texts to try to make me upset. I just called out his bs and then journaled and did some yin yoga to recalibrate my nervous system. After 30 years of trying to get him to treat me respectfully, I've withdrawn that energy and now I pour into myself. I've had a go. I, like you never backed down but that unfortunately fried my nervous system and I jump straight out of my skin if there's any slight noise, I will shake uncontrollably if there's any conflict and my heart rate will also spike into the 140's. I'm really focusing on me and my healing. Oh he also told me his therapist wanted to speak to me because he manipulated her on their first visit and then told her went to her again and still didn't tell her anything. Anyway he waited until today to tell me he has an appointment TODAY and I was like oh I never talked to her and he just blew me off😂 it's ok I made him take a personality evaluation with me years ago so I'm going to email it to her and then I'll call her. They just consistently wear you out. Nobody weaponizes incompetence and memory loss like a narcissist. I'm a sheep dog now. Sorry for the rant but people just don't get it. I feel seen and I see all of you ❤ Dr. Ramani has helped me understand my predicament and now I'm feeling hope FOR ME and ALL OF YOU
My father tried that crap at every single family gathering. No amount of reasoning could get him to simply shut his mouth. He HAD to tell you whatever jerk thought that came into his head. I finally had my fill and went no contact. I didn't even attend his funeral. 50 years of abuse was enough.
Very helpful. I've noticed that a lot of baiting can be couched in false concern. "We're worried about you. Are you getting some help? You don't seem to be dealing well with your mother's death." - Less than 2 years after her death- while I am holding down a challenging job and raising two kids. My lack of coping? Being too emotional and "overreacting" when they are difficult and controlling.
Real concern is asking how you are doing and LISTENING. Or asking if there is something they can do to help you (like friends who took my son to a Boy Scout outing after my mother-in-law died, so I could have some time to myself.). The "concern" without listening or offering help, just seems like a way to put you in your place.
Yes, everything is context. I am still "gun shy" due to growing up with constant baiting. The most innocent sounding question could turn out to be a bait. I learned to constantly be on guard, AND I had to keep my face and other body language in check. SO, if the adoptive father asked a question, such as, "Did you iron your school blouse?" Immediately, the answer is "yes," but I'm on alert. Followed by another question that sounds a bit "off," maybe, "and is your homework done?" "Well, yes." (Inside me, a big question mark). Then the next thing would be something that sounded like a trick question, "So, you've done everything you are supposed to? " Oh-oh. Extreme neutrality in my voice and body, "Yes." Then it would start. The big harangue. And you had to listen without expression no matter what was said, because the wrong look on your face could get you in trouble, let alone the wrong tone in your voice or the wrong answer. As you might surmise, by then the real me was totally shut down and the wary me rallied all defenses as I detached and tried to answer everything with yes, no, or I don't know. I dare not commit to any reality that might not be in alignment with his opinion, assessment, or anything. Now I am soon to turn 68. My husband and I have known each other now for 25 years. We have a joke between us: He'll say, "I need to talk to you," and I'll jokingly, half-serious say, "Am I in trouble?" And he will say, "No, you're not in trouble." Maybe someday that "humoring each other" question will drop away, but for now it heals me, nth by nth. So, yes, context. And I've met a few others like the father in my lifetime. Usually I get as far away as possible as quickly as possible. Between that and my first marriage.... LOL! I'm a piece of work! Thank you again, Dr. Ramani! 💜
This resonates deeply with me. Before I knew anything about narcissism, I knew questions were shielded attacks. Always with my family. This resulted in hypersensitivity to questions in my adult life (I am a lot more aware now so not so much the case today.)
A question was always a shielded insult ( bait for me to react to).
@@microdosenyc4515 exactly. Shielded attacks. Thank you for sharing with me/us.
Totally agree. The most innocent sounding questions can indeed turn out to be bait. I learned to withold information for my own mental health --- but was then labeled secretive.
However, when other people the narc likes more do the same thing, they are not. They are allowed to have privacy.
Thank you Dr. Ramani! I did not take the bait in a recent unleash and blamed myself after for not sticking up for myself, or trying harder to resolve. You reminded me that I was being baited, and conflict resolution is not even an option. Thanks so much for explaining and your support!
On my last job, I gray rocked as much as I could. The lead who was over me, escalated herself out of her job. 🙂
I worked with narcissistic people as a housekeeper in a hospital years back who were always looking for that reaction to try and discredit you to administration. Needless to say it worked, apparently administration wasnt aware of narcissism but i think the ceo was narcissistic so why would they care. Long story short the laziest ones got to stay while discreditting the hardest workers and making them unpopular in the eyes of administration, and then you just get tired of being the bad guy and never being appreciated and quit. Then i found out after i left they gave out a 5 thousand dollar bonus to those who worked through the pandemic, so they were awarded for their laziness.
I'm learning that the biggest thing is their lack of respect for boundaries.
They can ask a question, but if i say 'no' or say anything they don't like -- and they keep pushing and provoking a conversation I have made clear I don't want to have -- no idea if it's baiting or not. But it sucks. So, I try to limit my conversations with that person.
Unfortunately, if they are trying to bait, a lot of times I don't know that their goal is to argue until we are actively arguing. I'm tired of that. So I'm limiting my interactions with them.
A common ploy is mandatory conversations. Don’t get sucked into them. The conversation is usually the same as always, goes round and round and nothing is accomplished. I was pulled into one of those conversations, and getting angry, i stated that i needed to leave for awhile to cool off and i would be back. She grabbed my keys and phone to prevent my going. So i decided to walk. About 300 feet down our 600 foot driveway, she came and bear hugged me preventing me from going further. She is much much bigger than i am, and younger. I told her never, never to do that again or i would call the authorities. She let go and said,”I would lose my nursing license.” Yes, you betcha. So dont do it again. Another time she demanded a conversation and wouldn’t let me out of a moving car until I complied. Coming to a stop in town, I got out and walked about 2 1/2 miles home. She called my son when I was walking home and said, “you need to come her because we need to talk.” He didn’t understand these mandatory conversations and got sucked in. So do not, do not get sucked into these circular conversations. Your peace and sanity are not worth losing
@@galejohnson8086 sorry you had to go through that!
Yes. My ex forced me into conversations I wasn't comfortable having bc I felt it was a trap. I always called these types of conversations a "trap", Dr. Ramani is calling it baiting.
@@michelleissocool yes, and my keeping a diary of all that went on helped me leave. I would read it and it would give me resolve. I will never, never go back…NEVER!
Videos about Betty Broderick kept popping up after I watched this one, but the best one and most current understanding I think was the Snapped highlights video about the case. I think what she did in killing her narcissistic abuser (ex-husband Dan) was the ultimate tragic end to narcissistic baiting and abuse. He was probably delighted by her reactiveness and gleeful about the emotional harm he continued to cause her. It doesn't excuse the murders, but I hear the powerlessness in her words that she felt "one of us had to die" to stop the emotional torment he inflicted upon her. If anyone here is in this situation, please don't let this happen to you. Go no contact or minimal conact and get help for yourself, emotionally and legally. Keep watching this channel. It could save your life!
I’ve been saying for years that was the case. All of her friends say that he dropped her when she got older, even though she still took care of herself, after she worked his way through med school and law school. The coldness in his recordings on her machine and then the way she snapped on his, to me the perfect example of someone pushed to the point of no return. This should be a cautionary tale for all narcs.
_Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive. Be bold. Be courageous. Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway ،✍️_
Yikes I had an ex narc friend who did this, I can hear the scorn in her just thinking of her saying/doing these things. It’s yucky. Thankfully thru this learning I disengage, keep my boundaries and let the friendship go. Thank you 😊
" _If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed._ "
~ *MARK TWAIN* ✍️
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This is a perfect description as what happened to me at work. I went grey rock and she tried to make out that I was giving her the silent treatment, which was what HR said in a briefing on 'Respect at Work' was an act of bullying. After the briefing the narcissist began working with my Line Manager to make me out to be the aggressor. He had the motivation to do this since he never took any action for the year or year since I told him of the bullying where I also told him a nurse had said to me I was suffering from PTSD, and a therapist had said I was suffering from moderate to severe depression and anxiety. I'm sure he felt he could get into trouble for not doing anything and causing the effects to be worse so if he could work with the narcissist to make me out to be in the wrong he would get himself off the hook. After she said I was bullying her, I said to my Line manager that he is in work before me every morning and he sees me come in, sit down, do my work and leave before him almost every day so he knows I'm not bullying her and he said "I haven't seen any outward bullying", which implies he is believing her and working with her to make me out to be the bully.
Of course, they have interests out side of work that they share so he also has motivation to not find her guilty of any wrongdoing as it would ruin their relationship there.
I once heard that to react to someones baiting or anger is to take posession and ownership of that anger (a kind of gift to you), thus accepting their gift of rage. If you don't respond, their anger or baiting is still theirs and their problem and not ours. This helps me to keep calm in those situations. 🍒
I’d love to hear your expert opinion and advice expanded on the covert narcissist-type tactics of “baiting” vs a traditional grandiose style; if you know there to be such a variation between the two.
Thanks so much for this video- much love ❤
I would find that interesting. A lot of baiting from the covert narc I know seems like just innocent questions.
It’s exhausting to have to face constant baiting by the narc, for no reason whatsoever. If the narc stays with you, that’s the worst! The unfairness of it all drains me of energy! Why can’t I have a single day of peaceful, enriching exchanges?
Couple years ago I was dating someone who I started suspecting was a narcissist, and it seemed like we fought a lot. The crazy-making thing was that he would say that he didn't like fighting and wasn't used to fighting like this, etc, but he seemed to take every opinion I had as an opportunity to fight. So I did an experiment the next time something came up where I knew we disagreed. He was enthusing and laughing and I went as neutral as possible; lots of "mmm-hmm" and such. And he BLEW UP at me about "ignoring" what he was saying or something. And while he's yelling I'm just going, "hey, I know that you wouldn't want to keep talking to me if I was yelling at you, could you calm down," and he starts accusing me of holding some pretty heinous opinions (based on my neutrality? because that makes sense) so I hung up on him and after that I was so done. (Especially when he claimed to be sorry for yelling at me, but not for what he actually said.)
Seen that type of BS before. They gaslight you to make it.kook like you want to argue when in fact it is them.
I once pretended to agree with a narcissist who was looking for an argument and it was hilarious watching them try to find something to disagree on. I just kept pretending to be enthusiastic at their opinion and you could visibly see their frustration at being agreed with!
People who go out of their way to say how much they hate drama/never get in fights with others are always the biggest drama queens. They're just laying framework to make it seem like everyone else is really the problem because look how much they hate drama. It must be someone else's fault since they don't like getting into fights. People who don't like drama don't need to go out of their way to tell people, because the default assumption for most people is people don't like drama.
I've started using 'I don't like drama' as a red flag and it has yet to fail me.
Right! I am so glad you are defining these terms and giving clarity to them.
When people don't want to give answers to questions that you need to make a decision they will accuse you of baiting.
It's funny how some of these terms have been flipped to try to prove a narcissists agenda.
I think about it like this. If a doctor is asking you a question it's not for baiting or personal reasons. It's because he is trying to find out the best medicine to give or treatment options.
If a lawyer is asking you a question it's likely to get to the truth of the matter, however a lot of times they will present questions in a catch 22, or a baiting way to disqualify you as a witness.
In that case it's not about finding the truth, it's about strategy. Which really has no place in relationships. You shouldn't have to worry about that in loving relationships.
Contempt, jealousy, greed, malice, control are some of the underlying issues that make it baiting.
Brilliant analogy re- what is & what isn't baiting
I remember after the last/final rageful mega tantrum that yes it is strategic & also that any engagement with the nex was totally all about tactics & manoeuvres , devoid of any empathy, ever
I feel peace comes with radical acceptance of those facts
Thank you
Oh my GOD I’m glad I found this video because I’ve been grossly accused over the years of “triggering” the narc in my life by doing these things that you just confirmed are NOT baiting. Thank you!!!!!!!!!
This was perfect timing. I listen to all your videos and just had to re-block my narc when I had a simple question that only required a simple answer. But noooo of course he made the contact about him, called me names and tried to make feel bad and start a argument. I didn’t bate Dr. I knew what he was doing. The old me/ unaware me would of fell for it like i have for 20 yrs. Thanks for the confirmation Dr. and an applause to y’all healing and recovering from narcissistic abuse.
@Nellie
Applause right back to you
Knowledge is power
Putting applied Knowledge in its place, is easy when you know how!
Thank you
When I was baited by my narcissist sister in years gone by, I found myself learning to do something pretty sneaky and mean. Rather than react to her bait, I resist, kill with kindness, wait til her guard is down, and then lob a true but cruel remark at her. I guess that was wrong. At the time I used to wonder later on why I did or said such horrible things to her. But I was almost never sorry. I always felt sneakily good about it. I'd apologize for appearances but trust became non-existant. About a year ago I started watching your channel. I have learned so much and am saving so much time and energy by detaching and staying gray rocked instead of the sneaky guerilla warfare I used to do. It's much healthier. I feel more like one person. I am actually a nice person and doing the cruel stuff made me feel like a split personality but I was protecting myself the only way I knew how. Now I have better choices and I can remain myself almost always. Thanks Doctor Ramani!
Baiting me into seeing him on HIS schedule, his time slot by saying
" I'll just find someone else then. There are plenty of " girls" who want to keep me happy ." all because I said I was busy, couldn't get free at the time he wanted.
He continues with " Guess I'll get a Tinder date then, or go up to the casino and find a hooker .." Very triggering to me, have a physical reaction to his words like that; extreme anxiety, trembling.. all manufactured by him to get me to meet him when HE wanted ... PS. We were together for 8 years, yet he still did this to the very end... 🙄🙄🙄
I have a family member who keeps finding ways to put me down and tell me that I'm probably never going to get anywhere in life, and should start planning my future around my inevitable failure just when I'm starting to make some real progress. Sometimes I get the feeling that they don't really want me to succeed. They have always enjoyed making jokes at my expense and I laughed at them because I don't take myself too seriously but maybe they enjoy being a higher status than I am.
Becoming apathetic to them all has been my greatest improvement & has helped me to discern better in relationships. 💯
Thank you. I needed this today. It’s all gets so confusing at times. This confirms what I’ve been feeling in my heart and soul.
This was the worst thing for me. I was baited into things from childhood. When it happened as an adult for long enough in two prior relationships, the moment i lost my cool i was all these different things from PD's to angry/emotional to flat out abusive. Tired of basically bullying myself to not react the wrong way to appease some jerks grimey behavior towards me.
Thank you. This has cleared so much confusion. I always put it down to him being antagonistic but baiting is a better term for it. My former relationship is defined by baiting (is because he won't leave) He does things like purposefully avoids answering a simple question so I will react to not knowing what's going on. For example, 'are you taking the kids out later?', him, 'hmm, maybe', me:- 'well I need to know so I can make appropriate plans for dinner etc', him, 'maybe yes, maybe not, I'll have to see later'.
They do escalate.
Hi!
Recently, I went camping with friends, and I was to cook the eggs for Sunday breakfast. When I didn't get on it, fast enough, one of my friends started yelling at me and calling me names. I just sat there and laughed. I laughed, so much, I nearly fell off of my chair. After a bit, he stopped, and I cooked the eggs. He seemed to be baiting me to fight back, but I refused, and all turned out well.
I've never watched Succession, but Search Party is one I recently binged that sounds similar. People often say the protagonist is narcissistic too, but I think it's just projection from the other characters who are ALL narcissists, histrionic, sociopaths, etc., lol. And even fans get gaslit into believing the narcissists' and sociopath's side of events, for better or worse... But it's also a series I was watching (and honestly kind of healing from narc abuse in a weird way, lol) and thinking, "Omg, I would love to know what Dr. Ramani would think about this." It's also just absolutely hilarious, even if it's also a little bit dark. But it was the hardest I've laughed since before being abused by my narc ex. It helped me learn to laugh again without being criticized for simply laughing.
And thank you as always for the videos that are just amazing quality healing and guiding info every single time, but also now thanks for the new show added to my list to get around to! Lol
And if there is a narcissistic smirk to go with the "innocent" question or as a response to you defending yourself, you can be sure it's baiting.
Questions from a narcissist IS A BAITING TECHNIQUE. They start with a question to lure a response from you when you are grey rocking them. Them they pick at your answer, then if you defend the answer they've got you. Don't fall for the question bait.
Yep, every time. Picking the fight and manipulation to address their anxiety topics is a favorite way for mine to regulate. Throw a wrench in their works. Use the phrase “Clearly you are upset at me about something else because your response seems disproportionate to me. What do you hope to gain from this interaction? What topic do you really want addressed?” Even just asking if they asked you a question simply to release anxiety or aggression and if they say no, then use the “what did you want out of this interaction” question. Something along the lines of that spoken in a clear even tone with little facial expression, especially if they are picking at your answer or expressing “frustration” over a situation that they feel needs resolution on your part, can flip the script. Word of warning, it can create rage when they realize they’ve been outmaneuvered or realize they are angry at the world and you are their only available target, even if you didn’t really do anything wrong.
@@TheBaumcm
If you ask them questions like that they will go into word salad big time. I think what you have suggested would help with someone who could be reasoned with but I have never found a narcissist who can be reasoned with.
I just refuse to respond now. They go into fits of rage and I walk away. They exhaust themselves and go into the 'silent treatment', which is fine by me. I know why they do it, and yes you are right that they do it to self regulate their emotions, but as far as I'm concerned I'm not their therapist nor their emotional punching bag so they can f-off. I've had enough of those types to last more than a lifetime and I have no time for their BS.
You're also right that they rage when they realise you have sussed what they are up to and won't engage. Let them short circuit their emotional nervous system if that's what they want, but they can do it without me.
Recently got pulled into a screaming match because I refused to take the blame for narc's bad actions and felt awful about it; like it was my fault for getting upset at being accused and threatened. Now it makes sense. I hadn't reacted to any of the passive aggressive stuff and he needed to feed his ego by "proving" how unhinged I am. But I didn't force him to commit a crime, nor did I force the victim to stop speaking to him and consider pressing charges. If he goes to jail it won't be my fault, but I already know who he's going to blame. Just gotta keep reminding myself of that.
I successfully put a stop to baiting once by looking the narcissist straight in the eyes, and saying flatly, “I know you like to argue, but could we just stop this and eat supper in peace together, for once?”
Just say "I'm not taking the bait so carry on arguing with yourself." Then go and do something else or if in the same room check your phone or something that disengages with them. And remember, earphones are your friend!
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My ex baited me till I got angry and screamed - took this (honestly controlled compared to situation) explosion and messaged my son's dad about how volatile and unhinged I was.
Bang can also be passive aggression stone walling and contemptuous huffs and eye rolling. It's not always in your face
Yep, the under the breath mumbling.
My dad says he doesn't like/care about certain topics, like politics, but then he'll start talking about politics. And when I respond (not even an argument, often just explaining something that isn't even disagreeable, like who the current candidate in the area is) he'll start screeching at me for talking about something he claims he didn't want to talk about. Is this baiting? It's *always* caught me offguard because he brings it up first but then acts like I've offended his ancestors and beaten his dog when I just respond to what he brought up. He claims I'm 'picking' and 'never stop' when he does these things and I've always thought I was the one somehow doing something wrong even though I don't understand what I've done wrong.
And now that I'm thinking about it, he does tend to do this in times when things are calm. When I've been successfully gray rocking or even just when we've been miraculously getting along for a few hours. And his favorite place to do it is in the car because then I can't escape.
also my dad used to intentionally befriend my co-workers who didn't like me. I would be breaking down because my co-worker was bullying me and my dad would first dismiss and invalidate my feelings, tell me I'm too sensitive and that he can't believe me without hearing the other side of the story. He'd then reach out to the person and become their bestest friend so that they could talk about me behind my back since. It was like he became giddy at finding an 'ally' to tell lies about me with. I wound up quitting that job because my dad and that person drove me out of it (and I was hospitalized after attempting to hurt myself when I found emails they were exchanging about me) - and after I quit, he drifted away from them as she didn't want to talk about me anymore since I wasn't her co-worker anymore. So while you say a friend going to a birthday party of someone you don't like isn't necessarily baiting, is this one of the situations where it is baiting? Because it definitely felt intentionally targeted and intentionally cruel. I believe he was flexing his power over me/making working outside of the home impossible for me in order to fulfill his prophecy that I'm too stupid to live on my own/pay my own way in the world.
Wow that father is a piece of work, how cruel
Are you getting comfortable to cut-off ✂️?
@@tayaotto3484 I'm sadly financially dependent due to health issues, but am working on getting disability. I am mentally working toward being ready to cut him off as soon as the disability comes through.
Thank you for the reality check though. I definitely needed to hear that what he was doing was indeed cruel and it wasn't just in my head/me being overly sensitive.
@@prettyevil6662000 you are absolutely right that this is baiting. My aha moment was when Dr. Ramani explained that they cannot regulate their own emotions, even happy ones. I had always said my narc could turn any emotion into anger. Anytime the narc feels anything too powerful or that makes them feel weak or vulnerable, in my experience, they’ll pull this switcheroo to help let off steam. It’s also a game for them. People are toys to play with, break and put out of others’ reach. Making someone flip out is control for them, like little kids playing a staring contest and one makes the other flinch to win. When they are out of control, controlling others makes them feel better.
“Release the tension!!!” The exact words used by someone I thought I knew during their supposed discard of me. To this day, they try to bait me into a fight. It’s easier to put them in your rear view mirror and get on with life.
Omg all of this is the story of my life. Thank you for all these videos Dr Ramani
Yeah this is what I go through on a daily basis malicious narcissist sociopath psychopath and covert narcissist they rage all day long they can't give you one day of a rest and you need to help as if you don't as a highly sensitive you literally go through a gravely horrifying nightmare greatly explained and most of the teachers does it on a daily basis especially for Highlysensitive You feel like jumping from one hell to another and you feel like you need to explain yourself from all that you truly are what actually should be kept private in such situations Thank you for another great video and it does really helped to reveal another dark empath on my way I guess so Wow the circle goes on !
It's surprising how each concept brings back painful memories, hurtful and confusing images, and that moment of disengagement that got me no contact for months with each of my narc family members. My therapist asked me about that tendency, and I thought that somehow it meant I was going mad and intolerant. But no, I was waking up.
Anytime I speak my opinion about politics that isn’t in line to what he thinks, he raises his voice and speaks righteously. If I give a statement that supports my opinion, he rebukes my thoughts & gets angry; then in the end he says I want to bait him. I treat him like he’s ignorant. I replied I can’t change what you believe, but they’re your beliefs. I know I broke the DEEP RULES. I was burnt out of his negative attitude. He did walk out of the room leaving the impression that I change it from the news to watch a movie. I literally don’t talk about politics or religion with anyone.
Thanks. I realized now that both my parents, instead of just my father, apologize in strange situations. They do something hurtful or insulting and then they apologize for something totally different. This is narcissism 101. But I've noticed that they feel the need to apologize at all only when they have failed to unsettle you. Or they feel or think that they failed to unsettle you. I realized this when she talked about the brothers in the beginning of the video.
That show “Succession” is one of my “Golden child”brothers favorite shows what does that tell you! I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it 😓🥺🤦🏻♀️
Baiting==Taunting. Teasing. Twisting your words ~~putting words in your mouth.
_"Sean capaces siempre de sentir, en lo más hondo, cualquier injusticia realizada contra cualquiera, en cualquier parte del mundo. Es la cualidad más linda del revolucionario"_
─ ERNESTO CHE GUEVARA 🇨🇺
😊👏
😊👏😊👏😊👏😊👏😊👏😊
El Che era un asesino, un criminal, dejen de mitificarlo en honor a sus víctimas.
ua-cam.com/video/qNA823WbyyA/v-deo.html
I really love this series. If you're trying to get rid of triggers & heal, this is so helpful!
I was baited with a can of green beans, crazy but true. The narc is covert passive aggressive and sets the stage to pull me in every time. I sent this narc to the basement for a couple cans of green beans and they returned with one can saying "I looked every where even on the shelf with all the canned fruit and this was the only can of beans left". The next day I asked for their help in the basement and upon looking at the fruit shelf I pointed then said, "looks like 2 cases of green beans right there don't it". They was just trying to get me to scream I can't trust you blah blah so the game play would start geezzz! I walked away and I'm sure they are concocting the next setup now.
My question was always responded with a question
I used to just let it be as I knew it would just escalate into a rageful tantrum
My kiddos were very young , I was aware of how much his rage filled tantrum would affect them
It was radical acceptance on my part at that stage of their young lives
I had no idea about narcissistic personally disorder during those years
The fall -out of extreme fatigue took over my life & at age 64 years I still suffer that emotional fatigue to this day from nex abusive behaviour
Thank you
I completely get the need of understanding what a narcissist is, how to recognise them, how to deal with them, how to protect yourself. But then, at some point, the "victim" is asked to take their own responsibility and draw the appropriate consequences. As the saying goes: there is no perpetrator without a consenting victim. The umpteenth video will not release the victim from their own responsibility to move into action. If they find numerous reasons why this is not possible, they consent to their situation and should not keep complaining.
Well there is "overt" baiting and "covert" baiting.
Covert is more difficult to manage, by far, and is usually done in the presence of others who can "witness" your reaction so those others' will see you as "the troublemaker".
I've got a tip, but I want to say that getting the heck out of the relationship is far more preferable, if it's possible. I've found that this works whether you are "certain" that you're being baited...AND ALSO if you're not quite certain. After all, when we are baited, gaslighted, dismissed, bulldozed, etc...90% of the time, we can be so "on edge" that we may feel reactive to a comment that's not necessarily baiting...but doing so...regardless of the intent to bait...will just feed into the narcissists agenda.
The tip? Just respond as if you're hearing this comment from a completely healthy & reasonable person who will take your very reasonable response and move on. This can be REALY HARD to do sometimes, but if we can manage it.... and the narcissists intention IS to bait you...they WILL escalate. If you just keep responding reasonably, their escalation will become more visible/evident to the others present and you can then "respectfully" express your confusion over why this is becoming so difficult...WITHOUT looking like the crazy person the narcissist wants you to look like.
I’ll try this one out. I think this may work better than gray rock for me because it will remind me to express my authentic self, which is fairly calm and nonreactive, as opposed to getting in the mud with them. I tried out gray rock during a recent episode of baiting. I went blank and silent and only answered when I had to and stayed calm as I could. You are absolutely right that a calm, reasonable response annoys the bejeesus out of them, I think in my case at least, because they are using the argument to “let off steam” from insecurity driven anxiety. It’s always been the case that they needle me in public like this so I look the unhinged one, even though they are complete ragers behind closed doors.
I absolutely LOVE your videos. Has opened my eyes to a lot and preparing me for the unfortunate difficulties I will be enduring in the future. Not word of a lie, my ex scares me but I am somewhat tethered due to a child being involved and she has already started using him as leverage or bait. I try to find out details regarding birth, health etc and instead get abused and then accused of not caring because I have given up trying to get answers since trying is just opening doors to be abused and not getting any answers anyway. Makes me wanna try that cyanide thing
I fell for a nice bait along the lines of "Other people always seem to perceive me as being angry or mad!" and I, of course, took it with a daring (How could I!!!) invitation to self reflect on interpersonal appearances/behaviors. After the inevitable DARVO I felt confused for (again) wanting to have been heard at all.
I should've seen that coming. I wasn't me who baited, even tho I DID ask a question.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Lately I'm the one that feels like I'm baiting, but it has to do with younger people in their 20's and 30's. As a business owner I need to have good communication with colleagues. I used to be a wet noodle people pleaser (sometimes still, but working on it every day). I am finding that the younger generation is harder to communicate with. Sometimes ai need to know information like their unavailability and commitment to follow through on projects we are working on. Then when I ask a bit more firmly (not loudly) they use a lot of passive aggression and have thrown at me that I'm a narcissist. It's like the whole definition of narcissist is being flipped. They have responsibilities and all I'm trying to do is get some information to establish plans for the business. They call it baiting.
I had a younger ex roommate renting a room from me, not be able tell me succinctly when she was intending to move out. I didnt have a problem with her moving out after several years of having lived with us. I always made sure to mind my business. I didn't want to be rude making it seem as if I were pushing her out. But I was left waiting and waiting and couldn't make plans about the empty room she was going to be leaving. She said I needed to respect her boundaries when I asked simple questions. Uhm..hello? You're living in my home and I need some clarity so I can make plans. Then another colleague knew I was investing a good amount of money into a business where he would be participating and when the establishment was built, with his side of the office, he didn't make an effort to communicate or call to say when he was going to start creating a revenue stream for the business. The office stayed empty for 2 months. I think something strange has happened with communication styles where now even responsibilities are being blocked with the word boundaries. So then when I get firm, all of a sudden I'm a power hungry narcissist? I know what it's like to be abused by a narcissist. That abuse makes you crazy. But I am so willing to work with people to make plans or have real discussions. We have a newer generation that has a "hit the block" button attitude. And now all of a sudden I'm crossing their boundaries and not respecting their feelings just because they either don't want to do what they should be doing or don't want to talk. When I ask questions I'm not baiting to antagonize, I'm asking questions so that we can all move forward.
I receive attempted set ups daily. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸
I called these types of conversations "traps" and I would refuse to participate bc I knew where it was going. It was always a set up. I talked about it in couples therapy, and the therapist would ask why I thought the conversation set up was a trap? I explained no matter how I respond I'm going to be blamed and yelled at - maybe for weeks for whatever I'll say. I don't think he ever understood, but it happened a lot, I hated it.
Thanks so So SO MUCH!!! its been four days of ... nonsense.... and of course I look back and say, how did we go from this to THIS??? And I've read the texts several times looking for what went wrong... and then I listened to this, went back further and realized, that yeah I took the bait, but it was after a month of trying to kindly explain that I need to know if he's coming to pick up the kids or not. I don't want them left at school. So maybe I haven't been at my kindest the last 4 days, but I'll give myself a break and say, well, I kept my cool for a month (probably longer) before I finally said, "this is hurting the kids..."
Asking a question or speaking up after they've devalued me was made out as me picking a fight. Made out to be insecure too.
I kept emphasizing that it was us against the problems or patterns.. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤️
_yes_ 😊
A great fictitious study of Narcissism is the recent anti-hero series THE BOYS, about dangerously self-centered people with super powers. Scary.
Thx , it clears it up totally
Dr.Ramani❤❤ loves you can’t wait to read your books😍😍😍
Also be aware of confiding in others, you can inadvertantly feed the narcissist! I was being consistently and discretely baited by a friend. She orchestrated the bait and timed it so my reaction was in the company of others (ie friends were prompted to sharing info on events that I was excluded from). I blamed myself for being overly sensitive, but left the group politely with a reasonable explanation and timed so it was not in reaction to the disappointment. I DID NOT share this disappointment with any mutual friend (only my therapist). I'm confident it would have been inevitably fed to the source. I have had several reachouts from her and I have politely declined. She's confused and I am free. I recommend therapy and Dr. Ramani.
Geez just my luck. I have SEVERAL people in my life that do almost everything on that list she gave near the end. 🙄🙄🙄
Thank you for this powerful video!
🎀Thank you.
To me baiting feels different. It's like you can sence it. And know that it traces back somewhere. Like you're being punished for something or it's a revenge or its a dominace thing or a mirroring of something I have said or done and now its being used against me. To me it's like there is this disturbed undertone that is possible to sence, when it comes from somewhere calculated and not honest. Siri
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Here is the baiting by my biological father that finally clarified to me that he did not have my best interest at heart. When it happened I felt as if a bolt of electricity had traveled through my body… It was so shocking. My bio dad came to visit and although I had already told him numerous times I did not want to talk about with my sister-in-law said about me and that the estrangement from my nieces was truly something that broke my heart, he kept attempting to bring up the subject of my sister-in-law‘ dislike for me at any given opportunity. Calmly, I repeated my request that he not go into it and that it really hurts my heart. In 48 hrs i heard “Wow, (my name), (SIL name)!really does not like you!” At least 3 times before i raised my voice and imsisted he stop. The grand- ” if you don’t see this right now sister you never will“ moment was then driving into town with him in the passenger seat, finding another roundabout way to bring her up and saying; wow! I just can’t tell you how sweet and nice Stephanie has been to me on the last few visits. In fact I really couldn’t tell you who I feel closer to- u or her” When I said I cannot believe you just said that to your own daughter - he said “what? What did I say?!?! Oh great so now I’m getting my ass kicked around end I’m the bad guy” It’s flipped my version of reality of everything that had come to pass into 45 years of my life with him completely upside down. I suddenly understood how wasted days and hours and months of my life had been on trying to gratify him as a father and as a person at the expense of attending to myself in high school, college, visits in which he would completely control everything I said and did when he had me isolated
It was the moment that finally determined I didn’t give myself permission to not worry about his feelings anymore. After all he had my fantastic sister-in-law. Gratitude for that.
Now I am the sole person that interacts on a daily basis with my also painfully narcissistic mother. She’s the other type of narcissist. Well I would say my father is the dark empath - my mother meets every single one of the criteria to meet the standards as a vulnerable grandiose narcissist. Now I’m trying to leave her. Actually I’ve been trying to do so for a couple years.
I’ve had a relationship with a wonderful man now for about a year and end holy cow - he’s amazing but doesn’t understand. I find myself wanting to throw that relationship away too. I am so triggered by anything that resembles not being welcome in his life because I feel like I have nowhere else to go. I do know that I am capable of becoming the person I used to be-but it’s not a good time to be in a relationship because the pain of All of the losses I’ve experienced with my primary family played out now it to almost every relationship I bet it’s a bit or otherwise
How's this for baiting... Sitting you down in your room to let you know they date raped someone (possibly while we were dating) while simultaneously ignoring the unspoken sexual mistreatment he has put me through especially the non-consenting acts and before you can even react the also let you know they were carrying on an affair (one of a few at the time) during a very vulnerable period for me when he was regularly making me feel horrible for not having sex EVERY night....
Tonight he called me "saying no to him dissing my family" as bait and when I asked him to explain his statement he said I was bullying him and threw a literal tantrum...
I'm leaving him in 15 days.. 1000 miles between us. 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for explaining!
I broke last week. I think my line manager is a narcissist. They have zero empathy. They blocked an internal job move because they need me for the next 3-6months to land 3 major deliverables. It broke me. For some reason this completely and utterly broke me.
I had been headhunted for this role, I was about to be offered the job and my line manager blocked it. Looking back, they had been prepping for this by not picking and being extremely mean to me, the biggest alarm bell was when they told me 2 weeks ago “if you want me to give good feedback for these roles you are applying for, you better get this done”. Is that ok? It felt like a threat, like she was setting up a scenario to she could block my move.
I tried to quit last week and they wouldn’t accept my resignation, and I was asked to take a step back, think about it and take a breather because I was too emotional about the situation.
Help. I don’t know why this broke me so much. Not even the stress of working until 2 am for 3 months during lockdown broke me like this. Why oh why do I feel such a strong urge to run away and unable to even wait 3 months for them to leave? I’m off sick with stress this week. I’ve never felt so unhappy at work.
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The feedback goes overboard and I'd never thought to call it baiting, I called it abusive and mean...I'd ask about his opinion about tires on my car since in previous conversations he was full of facts and opinions. So I ask now 2 more years passed and my tires are more worn, think I'm still OK with these? His answer is "why the hell you still keeping a car! You can't afford to keep it in new tires like it deserves, and you don't do major maintenance work, you should just be walking ( he's now yelling). So because I'm in grey rock, I said hmmm i guess I CAN get through another season. He hung up. Is that him baiting me? I sure get hurt by his raging and lack of answer, but I don't let him hear my emotion.
Intentionally misunderstanding the same thing repeatedly. I have a bitter, envious friend who does this a lot. She "misunderstands" to the point that it feels like she's being argumentative, which is weird too. It's time to grey rock!
Yep. I decided if someone can't figure out the basics of consent, and continually asks about simple, obvious things "what do i have to do?" When everyone else on the planet, seems to get it . Then those people are baiting me by pretending to be *soooo* helpless with relationships. And trying to trigger my people pleasing nature (from being parentified) to save them.
They act like I'm a bad person for not teaching them something that either 90% of people already know, or if they don't get it, I can get them to understand within a week.
I've become very strict with my diet due to allergies and it's like my mom keeps misunderstanding me and my needs in hopes I snap at her 😭 I thought I was schizo for thinking like that but I'm glad that I'm not.
It is like when in some direct or covert way or another our value of any kind is purposefully called into question or criticized, right?
Unsolicited health advice over and over and over and over, no matter how many times I say, "NO". I have an genetic autoimmune disease, and was provided unsolicited advice, even after I told them no, and have several doctors already helping me and I am happy with my current treatment..... Nope, the toxic person wouldn't take no an answer. Since I did not follow their unsolicited advice, even the ones that would have been harmful to my health, I was punished with jabs, put downs, and "You're not trying hard enough". The worst part, this person was telling me how they are an "immunocompromised specialist", obviously not, because when I told her I talked to my doctors and they are concerned her unsolicited advice would be harmful or make my health worse, this person threw a fit like a child. They even tried to convince me if I did not "heal" my genetic (born with) autoimmune disease, the chronic pain will lead to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's..... I asked my doctor, as well as members in a chronic illness group if chronic pain leads to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's...... Their answer, "No, that is not how it works. Chronic pain does not cause Alzheimer's or Parkinson's." I informed the toxic person of this, and they threw a fit like a child. Told me my doctors (who went to collage and got their degrees) are wrong, and she is right.... BTW, she has a certificate in Palates and a degree in Marketing. Ummmm.... Going to trust my doctors on this one. Yeah, I walked away from that f*ckery..... Went no contact and am so much better for it!!!!!!
*I feel she was trying to bait me into doing what she wanted me to do, which included stop taking all my medication, and magical thinking.... That is not how this works..... I have Ankylosing Spondylitis, there is no cure, only manage it with a combination of exercise, stretches, medication, diet, meditation..... It is not just "eat healthy and stretch"... It is an incurable disease, genetic, it is part of me and not going anywhere. So I manage it the best way I can.
You are such a warrior. Congratulations for being your own advocate and for not allowing the gaslighting to deter you from educating yourself to seek & use the tools for chronic pain & autoimmune symptoms. Sounds like you've got a powerful integrated medical team helping you.
@@mlcarey1000 Thank You 🤗
I've definitely experienced all of what you've said (being the butt of jokes trying to get a rise etc.), but how about unsolicited advice? My issue is he will give advice (mostly unsolicited as I don't ask for his advice/opinion anymore for this very reason) and he expects any suggestion he makes to be followed. And if I decide to make a different decision then he throws a tantrum, "you always do the opposite of what I tell you to do" (not true), and it just causes a huge fight. So I can't really do grey rocking with him in that instance, because unless I agree to what he wants, he will keep arguing his point until the point of a blow up between us, followed by passive aggressively blanking me for days. And if I do agree, then he'll relentlessly bring it up every chance he gets like "did you do what I told you to do yet?", so I either do exactly what he says (regardless of my own wants and needs) or it's a huge argument and name calling etc. I feel I'm always caught between a rock and a hard place, doesn't seem to matter what I do.
What about the sort of baiting for the purpose of getting attention? If my attention is not solely focused on my narc he will make a big distracting song and dance about misplacing some insignificant item or flap about pretending he can’t do something he’s seen me do a thousand times (weaponised incompetence) until I cannot ignore it anymore because he will not stop until I go and help. Only to find out he just wanted to interrupt and get my attention. He always seems pretty pleased with himself with this little damsel in distress routine.
This is exactly what the narc does, baiting until I acquiesce, nearly impossible to keep the greyrock going. 😔
My sisters took turns baiting me about the presidential election. They swore up-and-down that I was for a certain candidate and wanted to know why I kept telling them I wasn’t. They were the master baiters. I finally had enough and did what they wanted, I blew up. Since then I’ve gotten zero contact. I got what I wanted.
The ultimate narcissistic relationship is between teacher and student. In fact trauma bonding by autocratic teachers in government institutions for forced education are the primary spreaders of narcissism in the US.
Teachers were usually the people who saw something was wrong with my family and offered me care and compassion. Many times growing up the only kind words I ever heard were from teachers telling me I was doing well and would do great things in the future if I kept applying myself when my family was telling me I wasn't doing enough and would never be able to survive on my own.
@@prettyevil6662000 I'm glad for you that that happened. You were there voluntarily, most kids aren't. Most kids would rather have autonomy and respect for their rights as a human being, than be forcefully controlled by a bully with an agenda.
@@heartyhuman I was not there voluntarily. I was required to go to school just like every other child. I would have rather been out playing in the mud than sitting in a boring classroom as a child. Most children would rather eat pizza and candy for dinner every night. We don't let children do whatever they want because they don't know what's actually healthy for them physically, emotionally or mentally.
I’ll often ask myself the question “what are they trying to achieve by bringing up this [question, topic, story]?” Are they just in the mood to be contrary to bait me? Are they just sharing an opinion? Are they gaslighting? Are they being manipulative to get us to talk about a certain topic because they aren’t sure how to address it directly? Do they want that topic so they can talk about themselves more? If it seems to be manipulating the topic to address something they can’t figure out an adult, direct way to address, I will ask the person what they hope to gain from the conversation. It causes them to have to reflect on their motivations because the next question is whether this achieves their purpose. For example, if they are mad about something else but start complaining about everything but leading up to it, I’ll ask which of those items is the priority and would it be more appropriate to focus on one thing at a time since I can only work on one thing at a time. Reasonable people will realize they were unregulated and be uncomfortable…and then correct it. Narcs will rage at you that you haven’t validated them or heard them.
My sister is confusing. She was emotionally abusive to me while and after my parents passed. Telling me I wanted to kill them because I voiced I was concerned about the meds they were on. She thought the more meds the better. Even though my dear moms health was failing. Sister was the POA over health it was difficult because I was with my mom and sister was in another state So I distanced myself and sister felt scared that I abandoned her when I needed a mental health break at TJ max that was years ago and she still brings this up.
That is a thin line that makes it impossible for one to know how to behave at all when the other feels offended every time I open my mouth. So, why don't we just start to stop being offended and enter zen from there, observing whether a reaction or response is truly necessary? The pain-body is easily triggered as long as one is unaware of who one truly is. There always are two ends of one stick; better to stay in the middle of it to hold the balance.
Thank you so much now I understand
Im so incredibly miserably traped by my baby daddy who is heavily titled and thanks to NYS renters laws i pay for him to live in my house while he actively doesn't pay rent and has completely destroyed my property as well as alienated me from my kids i am being used and i know it and i litterally dont know ehat to do. We broke up years ago but he still stalks me like he owns me
I'm a take the bait because I love arguing. I may or may not win but I'm petty and is all for the bs 😂😂😂😂
Agreed. I say this as well: Context is important. They also make your questions into something you didn't mean to imply. Especially over text.
Dr. Ramani, the point is not to prove that you are dis-regulated, that you are >>> INFERIOR
Sounds like Damon and Stefan from vampire diaries in the beginning lol
If you ask have to ask “is he/she baiting me ???” Is the answer always yes ??