If they don't respect her autonomy regarding her wedding dress, what else are they not going to respect? That's a big ol' red flag right there that is.
Exactly. If your partner doesn't have your back on something so obvious, how can you expect them to have your back when the real problems arrive? (This is a real problem. I didn't mean it isn't; I just don't know for sure how else to say it)
As a woman who was married to a mamas boy for 17 years, ladies, I’m going to tell you to run. She will always get in the way, make excuses for bad behavior and turn on you in the worst way. I’m also the mother of 3 sons, all of who I am very close with. My oldest is married. I step out of the way. I am his beginning, but she is his future. For that, she deserves respect and love.
I love how you phrased that: you, as his mum, was his beginning, but his wife is his future. I wish all MILs could feel that way…so many MIL horror stories. My ex was totally controlled by his mother AND maternal grandmother. Years after we divorced he found me via Google and told me he was going to be in the city where I lived and I invited him to stay at my place, even though we had had no contact for the 32 years since our divorce. His mother was still alive and I asked him if she knew he was staying with me. Guess what the answer was: NO! That Mama’s boy I divorced 32 years ago was still a Mama’s boy. Yikes-so glad I got out when I did!
I call my bf “my love” (bu in Spanish “mi amor”) almost always I call him more love than his actual name (he does the same) … but recently his mother has joined the ship! And she is calling him my love too the whole time 😄 idk if she does it because she is kinda jealous or to make me feel mad but all I feel it’s pity for her
@@aribizajj9261 that’s so bizarre for her to suddenly start doing! I’d feel kinda creeped out to be honest. This also seems like the perfect time to suddenly change up what you call each other to something a little more subtle, like an inside joke between y’all? My boyfriend affectionately calls me “his little nail” which sounds super weird to anyone out of the loop! But makes perfect sense to us because of the inside joke!
Cheaters don't cheat before the wedding because of anxiety. They cheat because they think it will be the last time they will be "free," as if getting married to a person who loves them with all their heart is a prison and punishment itself. Op is better off without him if that's how he sees their relationship.
Give him a chance to prove his loyalty? He’s already proved he has none. Run girly as fast as you can away from decades of you compromising yourself for the cheater & his fam.
I agree, I don't understand how someone can cheat because they're "stressed". There's no way only they are stressed, their partner is definitely stressed too and they aren't cheating. The fact that their so-called stress is enough to get them to cheat just shows that they wouldn't last long if there's a conflict when they're married. Of course, like you said, definitely not stress though.
@AngelaBatista-ct9fh When I get stressed, I don't go around having sexual intercourse with exes or strangers, I break down crying alone until I feel better, like a normal person. I don't know how the dude even thought of that as an excuse😂
My mom and grandmother had decided by the time I was 7 that I was getting married in a replica Cinderella wedding dress (animated original not live action) and my husband would be dressed as the prince. I still think it's crazy having such strong visions of your kids' weddings.
I agree, I think the key is " such strong visions." There's nothing wrong with parents or grandparents daydreaming about their future kids and/or grandkids or their weddings. The wrong enters when they place their opinions or wants over the desires of the actual children or grandchildren, be it the wedding or pressuring for grandkids, etc.
At my Mom and Dad’s 50th Wedding anniversary, she stood in front the 16x20 copy of their wedding photo and said… “I wish your Grandma wouldn’t have made me wear that dress” I didn’t know, until then, that my Dad’s mom picked out the dress and made her wear it. It bothered her for 50 years, and on a day that was supposed to be full of celebration, her heart was broken over her wedding dress. Don’t let ANYONE tell you what to wear.
SAME! But I was 6 months pregnant when we had our shotgun wedding and because of that didn't get to really choose anything for our wedding except i wanted a non-alcoholic fountain (which I got, but never used. We only ate a bite of the cake and that it till we ordered pizza at the one night we had at a hotel) Even my Bridesmaids were family and they chose their dresses. No wedding shower or Bachelorette party or any thing. Why when she's already pregnant? I didn't even know about those things. I'm thankful that my parents paid for everything because i was 19 and hubby was 18. My late grandmother picked out and made my dress, the cakes, catered, and did all the flowers. I'm thankful it was all done and so quickly, but I Hated that dress... and the whole thing, but I love him, and that's what mattered. Even so it felt like a punishment for getting pregnant. Before him, I was a very sheltered virgin who was just starting to have some freedom. (Hubby was young overwhelmed and didn't argue either) I kept saying to myself that we can redo everything on our 10th, then 15th, then 20th.... but it won't ever happen. Our 25th wedding anniversary is 3 days after our oldest son is getting married. Because my future daughter-n-law's family lives several hours away she invited me & our daughter (her mom was on FaceTime on a tripod). I stressed to her over and over that it's not about ANYONE else's opinion except her and maybe my son. I'd hate for her to live with the regrets I have had to live with. THOSE ARENT NOT MY HUBBY OR SON, OR ANY OF OUR KIDS, but I hate our wedding pictures and if it wasn't that I loved my grandmother, I'd have especially burned that dress a long time ago. (My paternal grandmother had one daughter that got married 4 times... so she had practice with wedding stuff. It's just that my Aunt always chose what she wanted and if my grandmother didn't couldn't do it she'd hire someone who could.)
OMG nooo never let ANYONE‼️‼️ ESPECIALLY his mom push you around or be involved or making ANY decisions about YOUR wedding. She had yours, it’s your turn. Otherwise she will continue to make you miserable & control so much of what you do.
I wanted a $300 wedding dress. My mom liked one better that was $700. It was more glitz, more figure-friendly… but the $300 fit my personality better, brought me more joy and was easier to dance and move in. I got the $700 dress to make my mom happy. I regret that I did. I have NO emotional connection with it. I am not fantasizing joyfully about my daughters wearing it. I should’ve got the more simple $300 dress. I love experiences more than things. Give me a day at the beach, not Disneyland. It’s who I am. All brides should find the dress that brings them joy! (And if you’re freaking out over the low price of both dresses, secret tip - go wedding dress shopping in Utah. More weddings per capita, with a short-engagement time culture (cuz they be virgins, y’all)… the dresses range from $200-$6,000 instead of $2,000 to $10k+).
My mother-in-law considered us married the day I met her son. When it came time to plan the wedding, all she wanted to know was what she was supposed to wear and where she was supposed to be. She said she will put on whatever I give her and she will pay whatever I ask. It has made everything so much easier knowing that she’s just in our corner.
I don't have an intrusive mother-in-law and always refer to her as my mother-in-love because I love her to bits. She never oversteps and loves me more than my own mom. She is the best. ❤️
I love a good MIL story. I was lucky to have both a great MIL and Step-MIL. Even though we didn't work out (divorce), I'm still friends with both of them and know they will be there for me if I ever need anything.
For that second story: the fact that he *went behind her back* and swapped the dress in his mother's favour would be enough to walk out that door and end the relationship. A partner who is sneaky like that and defies your wishes to push through his own (or his mother's) is not a person you want by your side.
Was horrified by the breastfeeding momas boy😱 and thought no way is it getting worse but then momas boy number 2 came along. 😒 This is why even God stated that a "man shall leave his parents and stick to his wife and they 2 will become one" . Parents should also understand healthy boundaries for everyones sanity. I would run for my life if I were her
I feel so sorry for the girl in the last story. It’s not easy to forgive that kind of betrayal and I hope she does get the closure she needs because it sucks to go through that and only be told “it was just a dumb moment that meant nothing”, and then you realize that they don’t love and think of you in the same way you love and think of them. He’ll always regret that moment, that is for sure, and now he’ll always regret listening to his parents and not coming clean about it earlier himself.
The second story about the wedding dress: GIRL RUN! If your husband and in-law are running the show this early on, just wait until you guys try to make a life together. YOU should be a priority. YOU are his family now. She’s going to end up divorced or unhappy. Not worth it.
@@LisaT_the audacity of this man and his mom lol I can’t. I am also with someone who’s an only child and this was something I was scared of when I got with him 😅
The last one hits home personally. The fact The MIL kept telling her she was "taking advantage" when they should have told her in the first place is gaslighting. They look at it like it is just one time but is murdering someone okay just one time? When you cheat, you are killing that person's trust, love, feelings, peace of mind. They will never be the same after that. You may not murder them physically, but you are murdering them in every other way. Making excuses for it is BAFFLING to me.
There is no point in marrying someone who has cheated on you. You will NEVER trust them again, and every time they are out alone or late home you will torture yourself wondering where they are, what they are doing and with whom. Her peace of mind is worth more than his professions of guilt.
As someone who has experienced this 1st hand multiple times? I actually think there is instances where shit just happens and you make an epic. Fuck up and you wish you could take it back but you can't not everybody is perfect and not everybody has enough inner strength when temptation comes around that does. Not mean that they don't love you and that doesn't mean that you can't mend things and work it out but I don't think that just. Because they cheated one time that it should be the end. I'll be all if it's worth the fight to fix it because like. I said everybody makes mistakes even if that's an epic one. Now let me ask a question let's say she had cheated just one time. Would it be acceptable then or should he bail out on her the same way that she wants to bail out on him?
If he's done it once, he'll do it again. Because why not? He got away with it the first time, if that was even the first time he's cheated on her. Besides, if his reaction to some stress is to go sleep with other people, then he's absolutely never gonna stop cheating. Newsflash! Life is very stressful. Cheating on your significant others never has a good excuse.
The last story was horrible. It was so horrible for OP first, she thought she was going to lose this guy because of a drunk driver and then she finds out that he’s really not faithful. My heart goes out to that poor girl.
It makes it so much worse that she's such a good person she still put him and his health first even after he cheated... I don't have that in me. I'd have beaten my man's a$$ in the hospital. I hope she found someone as loyal and loving as she is
The OP in the last story dodged a major bullet. The accident was a blessing because it exposed him as a selfish asshole and his family as enablers and misogynists. Notice how even in their "apologies" they were still trying to blame OP. How it was her fault he cheated because she stressed him out. Or how the mom tried to say that OP took advantage of her by being mad at her son for cheating. They don't care about her, they're upset because no one will be there to take care of their golden child for them.
And to add onto your comment; waited until the fiancé was compromised in a car accident before telling her to milk the sympathy and turn into a victim card. This family is nuts and OP's family don't seem too far behind in some aspects.
@rustyhowe3907 They always pull the switch up as soon as they think they have you trapped. That's why a lot of older people have told me to not get married or move in with someone until you've seen how they treat you when you're vulnerable.
@@ebonyblack7272 I was one of those people myself, and yes I say the same thing; DON'T get married without knowing what they're like in a crisis, too many crazies even before it was marketed for internet attention seekers to get some extra research material.
Agreed! They were gaslighting her the whole way and advised that he not tell her! That’s scummy in so many ways. She needs to run and put her foot down. I hope she’s doing better. She sounded like a wonderful person.
It was sick how they expected her to marry into a family where literally everyone had betrayed her, before day one. How clueless and selfish can you be? They all deserved to learn a hard lesson.
My mother has narc traits and her connection to her son is odd. Like a surrogate spouse. They are way too close and it makes me uncomfortable. She would tell people am jealous of her son. Even though I never felt that way. She brainwashed him so she could have him to herself. Divide and conquer. Now she laughs and jokes with him and doesn't care he now hates me because of the words she fed him. He's oblivious but I see alot of emotional incest too. I always think, when he gets married she's going to make his wife's life a living nightmare. Since she's so territorial over him. She couldn't stand her own child, her daughter close with her brother. Doubt she'll give anyone else any chance. She wants him to herself and under her influence. It's sad and also confusing, don't know why some mothers are like this.
Its the single mothers, raising their sons without a strong male influence, to be perfect little pussies and praising them for it. Those boys grew up to be todays trans females, or either guys like this who are still on the boob.
For the fiancé in the hospital one; OP was in her full right to walk out the door that night without looking back if she'd wanted, his recovery be damned. He stopped deserving her support when he made the decision to cheat. Let his family take care of him. You aren't leaving him because of the accident, you're leaving because he cheated
Only thing I’d add is that if she did walk out she should talk to him first to make sure he actually cheated and the mom wasn’t just taking an opportunity to drive a wedge between them. But 100% I wouldn’t blame her for leaving
If that were my son or my brother, my advice would be: You tell her or I will. People deserve to go into marriage with their eyes open, lying to a future spouse is unacceptable.
@@cbpd89 actually did this, my brother was going to get married and he had a gf on the side, I told the gf of the upcoming event bc she deserved to know (she is a very kind person) and she broke it off with my brother. I don’t regret it. And I did not tell his fiance bc she has caught him Many times and still won’t leave him, she would have cussed me out like she did my mom and then procede to be with my brother as always.
@@magicscoolbus3834 I don't feel bad for the finance. She knows he cheats. Next time don't bother with getting rid of the side piece. It won't matter he will just go and get another.
For the last story, it’s best to break off the wedding. If it was due to ‘stress’ over a wedding of all things, that he cheated, imagine future stressful situations? What happens if she gets pregnant and he gets stressed?
Right, statiscally pregnancy is when alot of men start to cheat... if he found wedding planning stressful what is he going to do with any other situation
Honestly I’m really proud of that girl who immediately put her foot down and refused to tolerate that kind of betrayal from her fiancé when he cheated.
Did he really cheat? Had he given a vow of fidelity? We all do things from time to time that we regret and he seemed to, although he made excuses which was bad. We simply do not have enough context. In the OP's mind he cheated and his family covered for him. Which is a little sussy and suggests other issues. But did he really cheat?
@@divyas1114 To me, and I admit I very well might be in the minority, I would have to had a discussion about fidelity, make a promise of such. If I am dating someone it is just that. Monogamy used to be for marriage and even then it still isn't in many parts of the world. Up to the marriage or perhaps the engagement dating several people was the norm. It takes two or more years to fully get to know someone. Especially in a dating situation where people are often being disingenuous, or at the very minimum putting their best face forward. Over the last forty years or so North American and some of European society has shifted to instant monogamy as soon as we start dating. It is now just assumed, and I am questioning the wisdom of that. As for would I be upset if my gf slept with another person . . . well a bit but I would be more concerned with how they felt about them, why it happened and what it means to our relationship. Especially if we had never discussed being monogamous. Humans are not naturally monogamous, that is a scientific fact. We are going against nature for a reason. Finicial co-operation, child raising, and emotional well being are three of several reasons we are have adopted the idea of monogamy as part of a marriage culture. I argue the over-reaction to an alcohol fueled lapse into NATURAL behaviour can be understood. Having said that, if we were in a committed relationship and these incidents happened frequently or cheating was basically another ongoing emotionally invested relationship with regular intercourse then that is a threat to our relationship. A one time slip, while drunk, with someone that they have no intention of doing that with again and a discussion around not being in that kind of situation again and they are very sorry. I would not see that as a threat our relationship and forgive them. In short I do not think the problem is infidelity, the problem is assumed monogamy and the over reactions it leads to.
I have a story as a wedding singer!! This took place at the church, we heard it from one of the pianist as to why the wedding got canceled: we noticed at the back of the church that the maid of honor was having a break down. We didn’t think much of it, maybe it was her nerves- when the bride arrives she is adamant about speaking to the bride in private. We’re waiting for the bride to position herself at the start of the aisle so we can begin the music and prelude, but then everyone is thrown off when they see the bride walk through the side doors instead of the main aisle, making her way down to the altar by the mic stand. She announces that the wedding is off, as it was brought to her attention by the maid of honor that she and the groom slept together the night before their wedding. Her maid of honor showed her messages and photos of the deed, and was apologetic because they were both drunk and didn’t mean for it to happen. She insisted that everyone make their way to the venue instead of staying at the church to make sure the food and entertainment do not go to waste. The groom kept trying to talk to her but she ignored him the whole time as she walked out the church and into the limo. Jaws dropped 😭
That poor maid of honor was crushed up by that guilt. Edit: I'm not responding to any more replies to my comment. I will leave this here: I'm not saying that the MOH wasn't in the wrong or that the bride has to forgive her MOH for doing what she did. I do not mean poor as in one should pity her, I mean poor as in she knows what is about to happen and she can feel it. But also kudos to the MOH for confessing what happened immediately because there are people out there who would not have. It was also a good thing that the bride learned that who she was about to marry was a scumbag. Sure, is it unfortunate that it happened on her wedding day? Yes, it is. If someone cheats once, they are likely to do it again. My feelings on the MOH from what we information we have on her are my own opinions. You do not have to share them. They would probably be different if we had more information, but we don't. So don't reply yo my comment I will just ignore it. Thank you, have a lovely day.
1. what a cool job! how long have u been working as a wedding singer? 2. that maid of honor.. i honestly feel so bad for her. she’s not the bad person in my opinion, its possibly the fact that the to-be was even at a place where they could do that..
@@ihadastrokereadingthis I mean in my opinion she has like 1/10 of the faults, but the fact she told the bride as soon as possible is great the groom 100/10 faults
I mean, if I were the maid of honor, can't ever see myself doing the groom. BUT can't really blame the maid of honor. Cuz, it's not her who was about to vow, to care for you till death separates u and all. He can't refuse someone that important to the bride, let alone other random women he could come across being "too drunk".
One of the things I took note of when my husband and I were dating was the way he protected me from his kind of overbearing mom. I thought he was over reacting at first because she isn't so bad, but I'm really grateful he set the tone for our relationship. I have no problem saying "no" to her if she gets a little out of hand because I know my husband will back me no matter what! That groom who wanted his mother's choice of wedding dress over his bride's - not good! Only going to get worse from there!
Oh that's soo nice that he protects you I am in a similar kind of situation so my boyfriend whose mom came to my home and took her anger out on me humiliated me in front of my mom (that I can't be her daughter in law and how she disapproved of me etc) and mom cried because of that lady so I fought with him that when he knew his mom isn't willing to come to our house then why would he sent her here, and he replied that he just asked her to just go meet me first. He said that he clearly had no idea that she would react that way what am I supposed to do right now? I would love to know your opinion❤
I told the 1st wife of my brother to stay away from my mother, who is a narcissist and overall horrible person. She thought I was being dramatic because everyone thinks every mother out there is an angel. Her marriage ended 2 years later because of my monster's interference. His 2nd wife took my warn to the heart. They are still married.
That second story… Everyone touched on the great points of the MIL never leaving them alone, and how horrible it is that the fiance didn’t take her side. But also, it’s the returning the dress to get the new one that gets me too. Not only is he not trying to at least see both sides, but he’s not even having a healthy argument. He went behind her back and returned the dress without her permission. Trying to force her to take his mother’s side. And then, having the audacity to tell HER to “give it a chance.” That’s not about him choosing his mother over her, it’s about him not caring at all about her opinion and her own autonomy. His opinion is the only one that matters to him, period. So messed up
What chance can she give it? It's her WEDDING DRESS. She is going to wear it once. On her wedding day. She is going to look at that dress every day and hate it more every time.
That is serious red flags there because he will never take her side anytime his mother will have a suggestion she is just supposed to shut up and take it and I don't think that's fair. She should just run while she can because it's not going to change and he's not going to change.
Not only was that a serious red flag (going behind her back, returning it without asking, etc), it's THEFT. The bride paid for the dress. He had NO right to touch it - it wasn't his! To me, that's an extra red flag because not only does he not respect his bride's opinion or choices, he doesn't respect her legal rights and autonomy. The bride needs to RUN and NEVER look back. Mother and son don't see her as an equal human being and they will make her life a living hell.
For the woman that her Fiancé cheated on her before his accident. If he wasn’t in an accident and you found out you would have never stayed so don’t feel guilty about leaving. Women are always told to put themselves last. NO you are your number one. You do what makes you happy because you are the only one responsible for your happiness. Let’s put ourselves first and love ourselves so we can truly be happy!
Also... let's put this in reverse: if the bride had had the terrible car crash, would this cheating fiancé stay by her side and still marry her. I don't think his "loyalty" runs that deep... also imagine HE found out SHE had cheated and she now was in a wheelchair... Really? THIS guy? He wouldn't stick around
I agree. Like someone said in the comment section, regardless of his excuse or reason for cheating, he "proved" how loyal he was and would be as a partner let alone a husband, by not only sleeping with his ex, but keeping it a secret and not admitting it the moment it happened.
The last story really got me. I can see that she is torn and trying to process everything that happened. I'm glad she reached out to strangers on the internet bc there is no bias online like friends, and family for instance. Easier said than done but she needs to leave his sorry ass and I hope she does. Also, no one needs to be guilting her after what they've done to her.
She went above and beyond by just pretending like nothing was wrong while he was still in the hospital. I would have been out of the hospital the moment I found out.
I had a conversation with my 23yo son last night. He and my husband were discussing not understanding women, specifically why we don’t just tell them we want something, and just want them to know. I explained that women and girls are taught from a very young age that we are supposed to be “givers” and to care for everyone and everything else first, so asking for what we want feels “greedy”. It took me a long time to figure this out, but now if I want something, need help, etc I definitely speak up and expect all my “guys” (husband and 2 adult sons) to do what is needed.
Not only does she have to deal with the fact that he cheated, she can't even confront or discuss it with him so she has to choose between staying or breaking up when he's not able-bodied.... the whole family knew...and hid it.... then guilt tripped her for wanting to leave.... She a whole victim. She should leave and get therapy cuz no one was right on their side and she doesn't deserve the lack of support from the family
Brides mom should go to the groom with the ugliest, most embarrassing, most horrible “tux” he’s ever seen and say “oh I’ve just been dreaming of seeing my daughters husband get married in this, here let me return the one you already got” and see how he likes his wardrobe being dictated.
YES YES YES. Except she shouldn't take it to him. The daughter should just do it and tell her to be husband that is what he's wearing, just like he did to her by returning hers and buying the other.
Shout out to all the dress shop owners/managers that KNOW you DO NOT allow ANYONE other than the BRIDE to return/alter/or exchange wedding dresses. Shame on any dress shop that allows someone other than the original customer to mess with wedding dresses.
What the shop should have did was called and confirmed that the bride wanted to change it so they should have talked to her directly to make sure it was okay. I can see if somebody gave the dress to her and like okay I need this exchange but that was stupid on their part so I agree.
I don't understand how this wasn't theft, point blank. The store would have been processing a return and a new purchase and if the bride was paying for it all, did the give they bride's money for the return to the MIL? Or did they recharge the bride's card for the dress the MIL bought without the bride present there to sign for the transaction? That's fraud and theft. Probably felony grand theft with the cost of most wedding dresses. Press charges against the MIL if they make the break up and wedding cancellation hard.
Right! Just like a previous story Charlotte read when they called the bride to tell her the MIL bought a weeding dress too! They changed everything to all white and bride wore Red!! 😍 i would have gifted the shop for looking out like that!
We NEED an update on that last story. I HOPE she breaks it off, it seems like everyone around her is ready to swipe this under a rug. No. Get out woman.
@@kafjaf6387 I honestly want to say that she moved to a different town, the ex-fiance's family came and picked up all his stuff, and she decided to go no contact with all of them. But I'm not going to lie I think I watched the update to this video 6 months ago and sadly this is not the most dramatic story I have listened to. I mean let's face it the first part of this video was probably one of the most dramatic ones, sadly that one doesn't have update yet. I'm pretty sure I read the update on the Lost genre channel, because he's very good about only sharing stories with a lot of updates attached to them but don't quote me on that
@@savannahmae3679 Let's go with the version where she moves away and starts her own business, where she's really successful and happy ever after. I like that version
For story 2 i cant believe the dad said to not rock the boat!!!! He should be saying run girl run, bcause that MIL gonna have a lot more "visions" for the rest of the brides life. Its gonna be a nightmare life.
Story 3: So not only did he cheat, but he didn’t confess it to his fiancée. Frankly, keeping it a secret bothers me more than the cheating itself. You know you did a bad thing, own up to it. If your partner wants to stay with you, that’s completely up to them.
Not just that but all his family _knew_. I'd feel so humiliated in her shoes. Imagine if you were in that situation and tried to stay the course & gave him a second chance, you'd be wondering if everyone was talking and laughing at you behind your back at the wedding. Not to mention your trust in him and his whole family has been destroyed too. That it took him almost dying and his mother being worried about his sins to speak up...if he had died, all she would have done is cleared her own conscience for telling him not to tell her before, not giving a shit that she would have destroyed the OP, she would have been so angry and also full of grief but unable to process it. It was a fully selfish act that made his mother tell her and the fact she's gaslighting and being selfish still by laying blame on OP, just shows what kind of person his mother is (and it doesn't bode well for the type of pos he will be too). And, after all that and it would have made no difference for his "soul" because you cannot confess someone else's sins for them or ask forgiveness on their behalf, it doesn't work like that. The mother isn't even good at being Christian, every action and word is selfish. There could have been hope, if instead of going to his parents he'd gone to his fiance and talked to her. But he added dishonesty on topnof unfaithfulness. And then to have the nerve to blame it on stress of the wedding when you're insulated from that stress (you're not paying a penny towards it and everything was organised within a week...sounds like the most chill wedding a groom ever had to deal with), itxs like doubling down. I hope she sticks to her guns.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399this was my thought, too. She thought she had a wonderful relationship with his family, and then in one moment she learned that her fiancé had cheated and they all knew but no one told her. All of those relationships are broken now. On top of that, it shows that his family will “other” her if there is ever a disagreement or problem in the future. This whole story was heartbreaking.
Yeah. I don't condone cheating, but I'm far more likely to forgive someone if they told the truth about their cheating, were genuinely remorseful and took responsibility for their poor choices and promise to NEVER do it again and be a better person.
In the last story I love the fact that everything is HER fault. He didn't cheat because he's a cheater, he cheated because SHE was stressed and SHE was stressing him out. SHE took advantage of MILs moment of honesty and used it against fiance. SHE is hurting him by not understanding that it was really all HER fault that this happened and SHE is making his recovery more difficult by ending the wedding. Give me a F-ing brake, gaslighting at its finest.
Cheaters tend to blame everyone but themselves when they are caught cheating. They are quite good at shifting the blame to their partners instead of taking sole responsibilities for actions that they willing and gleefully chose to carry out.
True. The gaslight is fierce with this family. She needs to run. Cancel the wedding permanently. She can't trust him not to cheat or lie again. Nope. Run, girl. Don't look back.
@Shanelle M she can't trust that whole family. They were all in on it- and if he wasn't seriously injured would've taken that to their graves to protect him. They don't care about her at all- I'd be asking myself what else are they hiding? What more would they be willing to hide in the future?
It especially annoyed me what the mother said. She's not taking advantage of her in a moment of weakness. It's not like her mom divulged her own secret or insecurity and OP is weaponizing it against her. She told the TRUTH of something that happened that DIRECTLY IMPACTS OP, and she has a right to do what she needs to with that information. The cheating is not about the mother - it has nothing to do with the mother.
"She meant nothing to me!" Yeah, that's the problem. One night stands might not mean a long term commitment which means it is easy for you to engage in even after marrying someone. That's the worst thing you can say to someone planning their whole future around you and you decide to be unfaithful. It means you'll do it again because it is "She doesn't have what we have."
I don't think that necessarily equates to you're gonna do it again. Some people make the mistake and never do it again and saying she meant nothing to me is the worst thing you can hear because if somebody's gonna pull. That trigger they need to make sure it's worth what they're possibly losing. However people don't think like that and when stressed unhappy miserable etc. You make poor choices poor decisions temptation comes and it's easy to turn a blind eye and I'm saying this is someone that has been cheated on multiple. Times throughout my life. But In my life as I age I realize that things aren't so black-and-white cut dry and there are Gray areas and there are reasons why people do what they do.
@@mariabunch3541 Yes. A very ridiculous and shameful excuse. "So you mean to tell me that you essentially ruined our relationship for nothing?!" would've been my response.
Cheaters will cheat. Let me tell you a story. Once, I said to hell with being a good person and FULLY DECIDED TO BE the side piece of an ex. A mistake that I'm ashamed to this day... some 27 years later. I and this dude stayed together for 4 years. It started with me being his rebound girl (was unaware of). After a mouth, he went back to the ex but came after me during a bad time in my life until I gave in probably because I was a 21 years old virgin. I truly loved him but this is not here or there because I was fully wrong and I admit to this. I just didn't care really. When he got tired of me and just disappeared I later discovered I was not the only side piece he had. The wife kept accepting him because "they mean nothing to me" and she thought he had side pieces but went back home to her every night (not wrong). He also had kids outside of his marriage. All in all, he was my bf once and he wanted me to marry me... just one month after we started dating... just one week before he ended things with me and went back to her who I think he was back with before he broke up with me anyway. So, he was a serial cheater. You can be as his wife and accept it because your love is enough. Kind hypocritical, but looking back I understand that if I had accepted his proposal I'd be the one being cheated on. By the end, people finding out their SO are cheating aholes before anything serious goes on is a bless in the long run if you don't want to deal with serial cheaters.
I was a young bride (married at 21) and I was a fresh Mormon. My MIL and GIL both decided I needed to have an "appropriate" dress for my wedding. I loved the strapless look, but was told that wasn't very "modest". I didn't have my own voice back then (I've been married for 14 years now) but I wish I would've just stood my ground and gotten the dress I truly wanted. Instead, I had sleeves sewn on and I hated them. They didn't look good at all but I put on that smile and just tried to go with the flow. Now my husband and I are exmo's and are considering saving our money for a wedding where we have the party we really wanted back then. Ladies, just stand your ground. Once that day comes, no one's face or opinion will stick in your mind except for your partner's. Everyone else be damned.
You are so right. My situation was different but since my dad was paying for the wedding, I got a dress that was on sale $182 instead of the one I really loved which was $450. It was to please my father by not spending much. I always wished I had gotten that beautiful one. BTW my dad was not poor by any means, he was a miser but spent money on things that interested him of course, like racing horses. So yeah get the dress.
I am so proud of the last woman standing 10 toes down on her decision. That was brave of her and an excellent example of choosing yourself first. First he cheated, then he kept it a secret, the whole family keeping that secret as well is just the icing on the cake. You deserve better. It wasn't a mistake it was a choice. There is a lot of thought that goes into cheating and a lot of preparation.
I really hate how having sex, especially for boys/men is always framed as an accident. I don't care how strong your urges are, it is not an accident. I do think it's possible that he immediately realized it was stupid and he shouldn't have done it, and it didn't sound like he was justifying it, but his family was. His family should have just gotten out of the way. If he had immediately told her, then they probably could have worked through it and continued with the marriage eventually and probably with the help of therapy for both the trust and the poor stress management skills. But there is a lot of other nonsense tied up in it now that no one should blame her for it.
@@ThatOneLadyOverHereYou are correct. They family seemed to make things worse and they might have had a chance to work through it had he given it a chance. Having said that, we all do things that we know may upset our partners and often keep them secret for the sake of the relationship. I suppose there is a line, but where? In this case there were several red flags about the family dynamic in the story that maybe this couple is doomed anyway.
@Craig Burghardt I couldn't tell you where that line is because I am honest to a fault, unintentionally. 😆 Lying just doesn't make sense to me, so hiding something, no matter how small, doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Communication is key in a healthy relationship, so you don't hide things. Not shaming anyone for not doing that, but my marital advice is: communication. So it's pretty typical of me to say something like "he should have told her, would have solved everything." 😆
@@ThatOneLadyOverHere I totally agree. I actually have a rule, that I do my best to live by, to not do or say anything that I would need to hide or keep a secret. I also believe well over 90 percent of conflicts are due to a breakdown in communication. Having said that, sometimes we can share too much and something trivial to us could mean something more to another person, aka a filter. So we need be empathetic in these times to balance the other person's emotional state with our need to share or be one hundred percent honest. For example: In one of Charlotte's other videos, the bride-to-be asked for her finances honest opinion on her wedding dress. He gave a less than positive revie and she left crying to go to her mother's place. Even though she said she wanted honestly he should have read the room. She had been shopping for a dress a long time, had found and bought one and was so excited to show him, she put it on. Dude, read the room. Only one answer in that situation. So what if he honestly did not think it fit the theme of the wedding. Trivial to his bride-to-be's happiness and joy on their wedding day. How is she supposed to wear the dress now knowing his "honest" opinion? You can not return wedding dresses how is she supposed to fix it? Honestly can be and, I would say, is a little over-rated. It needs be balanced with empathy.
Being "stressed" is no excuse to cheat. Planning a wedding is honestly one of least stressful ordeals a person will go through in life when compared to the monumental realities that are children, finances, extended family, illness, and marriage in general. If that guy was cheating due to the stress of picking out a venue and arrangements that they locked down in just a week (record timing, I might add), then imagine what he'll do when the going really gets tough. RUN OP
Actually… nearly any psychologist will tell you the three most stressful things in a persons lifetime are 1. Death of a loved one. 2. Moving house. 3. Planning a wedding / getting married. I’m certainly not condoning what the groom did, however it is a medical fact that planning a wedding can be a nightmare to your mental health. Bless
Exactly. It doesn't matter if he is stressed or if he regrets it. The fact he decide to deal with this stress with his ex instead of his fiance or family is enough. Imagine if something even more stressful or traumatic happens in the future, is he going to betray her like that again? His family isn't good either. They really want her to marry their son but they are not treating her like family, very disrespectful how everyone is lowkey demanding her to forgive him. I wonder if they would say the same if she was the one that cheated, i bet they won't give a shit if she cheated and got into an accident. His mum makes me even more furious, the way she keeps saying that OP took advantage of her and how she is trying to act like the victim.
Here is the thing. I think a lot you guys aren't asking the right question from a guys point of view. As a guy myself, I understand when other guys "deal with stress" it usually mean relieving sexual tensions. Unless his fiancé made him feel stressed and not relaxed, so he sought comfort in another. So it's either one or the other. The 2nd one would be actually understandable to an extent, not right to cheat, but it makes more sense than the first reason that many guys do... which is they just want have sex, but instead of going to their partner they cheat. That reason is just odd to me. Maybe they aren't sexually compatible, I don't know... all in all I think people get married for wrong reasons
That first story made me pause and my hubby and I had an hour long talk about how horrible it was; how could it get to that point? How much grooming was involved? How much trauma? How much therapy would be needed? Etc. Gave us a mental breakdown 🤣
So agree. They hid in a bathroom to do it, so clearly they know it's not socially acceptable, licentious behavior on her part, very concerning. I hope he gets help now that people know.
@@marlenef777 😂 I literally said that to my son. It's mind boggling, how that's even possible. The effort to hide it, and how could you possibly justify it. She has to have some kind of mental or personality disorder.
This is 💯 horrifying. I don't know if I could be able to go through with a wedding if I knew my MIL was doing that to my hubby to be. How selfish on the mother's part and who knows if it will continue after the wedding. What if you guys have kids? Is she going to try to breast feed your babies too? MIL is a sick ticket.
I can't stop wondering if his family knew? If so did they all in that family do stuff like that. Eww if they were clueless, how did his dad react? Poor bride that would be horrible to announce why wedding was canceled. Hopefully it was canceled, because that is the most insane thing ever in the category of gross.
That guy that cheated made his choice to “prove” his loyalty the moment he decided to keep it all a secret. *edit: cheating is not ok. In this instance unfortunately cheating did happen and so any further decisions shows where his heart truly lay. People have come back from cheating when communication and work is done. Not what happened here
The moment he decided to play around with anyone other than the person he was in a relationship with. If you are even entraining the idea of different partners, it’s time to have a conversation with your current one. Be honest and forthcoming. Maybe they might like it, maybe it breaks you up. Regardless, better compatibility will come of it.
Yeah I was just thinking that I would believe it a little bit more if it was like the first thing you said to her after he was out of surgery. At this point it's just an excuse after he got found out.
i was thinking of how stressful it is to care for somone whos been through a car wreck... wonder if itll be ok if she cheats now...glad she called it off
Mom wanted to ‘absolve’ her son of his sins, and is now gaslighting and victim blaming OP to ‘absolve’ her of her’s. Run, girl. Just run. Ain’t no true love or loyalty here, just glass houses.
My mother told me she first got engaged to a very nice naval officer; this was on the US west coast. After they announced the engagement, his mom showed up from the east coast. She immediately started with telling my mom what all the wedding details would be, where they’d live, how she would live with them (especially when her son’s ship was out of the port), what the house furnishings would be, etc., etc. My mother broke it off and shortly afterward met her future husband. I was born ten years later.
Last story, possibly the biggest red flag is that he went straight to his parents (possibly knowing what they'd say) and then used their "advice" as an excuse not to tell her. Now he can feel somewhat absolved of guilt and they are all complicit. I understand how she feels but she will look back and realise that no matter the context she went above and beyond for someone who broke her heart. She is well within her rights to just out with it and walk away to give herself some peace and time to heal.
For that last one, I give all of the credit in the world to that girl for sticking around after the crash. She could have easily said "DEUCES. I'm out", but from the way her fiance's family sounds, they probably would have twisted things around to make HER look like the bad one if she had left. If I was her, I'd sell the apartment, and leave no forwarding address. Something tells me her wish to be left alone while she figures things out won't be respected if they know where she is.
I would've waited until he well enough to have a coherent conversation. I'm sorry, this car accident is not my doing and I'm sad you're hurt. But I'm hurting deeply for something you've done to me. I'm out and never coming back, I'll have your boxes outside the door. Your family can come get it and I'm moving away. I wouldn't be able to stick around that long. I wouldn't be able to hide my anger and pain. There wouldn't be any justifying either, because he was the one that broke the relationship apart, not the other way around.
@@daniellekendall6859 Agreed. It's a lesson learned. He cheated on her. If he only wouldn't have done that, he would have been in that accident with a soon to be loving wife. Too bad though. Hopefully he doesn't do it again.
The story about the husband being such a huge mama's boy and wanting to guilt the bride for not choosing the MIL decision on the dress...m I asked my 13 year old son what he thought if he was in that situation. "I would say I know you're my mom,but she's the one getting married and wearing that dress. It's her choosing and not me." I love him so much
My son is 14, and he said pretty much the same thing. He said, "I'd tell you that I think you and my fiancee need to talk, and maybe try to come to a compromise [like on a pattern or accessory or something]. But that if you can't, it's her dress, and her choice." How is it our CHILDREN can understand this, but these grown-ass men can't?? Oh. Right. Because they're not grown men. They're man-babies. 😑🙄
The second story...I would feel so betrayed. You pick out a dress, you're excited about it and then your fiance returns it behind your back?? Hell no. Not only does he place his mother's opinion over yours but he took something you paid for and returned it without asking. I wouldn't be able to trust him.
I finished watching this video like 10 minutes ago and I'm still here, just staring at the screen, trying to recover from the story of the groom being breastfeed by his mother. This is one of the most DISTURBING things I'll ever hear in my entire life, it's definitely a whole other level of creepyness never experienced before (and hopefully never again). WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
@@anthill1510Not really cuz there are some mothers out there who genuinely manipulate their sons into being that way with them. It’s creepy as fuck but it does happen, unfortunately. And I will note that while it is unusual, a woman (or most any female mammal, for that matter) can continue to lactate long after their children have passed the age where they need it (some people say that that would be 2 years old). It takes a lot of effort and a tough schedule to keep it going but it is possible, seeing as we now have drugs, hormone altering medications and other procedures that allow a woman who is not pregnant to lactate. But still, grown ass men (and women, for that matter) should NOT still be breastfeeding from their mothers.
OMG! The groom and his mom?!?! I would immediately walk down the aisle and make the announcement that the wedding is off because "I just caught my ex-fiancé breastfeeding on his mother! The reception is still going to happen, as I am celebrating the fact that I just dodged a big bullet!!!" Oh, I would call him out BIG TIME!!!
Dude I would blast that out to the rest of the world! 😂😅 that is so freaking weird. I can’t imagine a scenario where they never realized how fricken weird it really was
The wedding dress story...the worst part of the groom's behavior isn't even that he sided with his mom, but how he went about it: he just took the dress back without even speaking to his partner (term used sarcastically). If she were to marry him, that's exactly how things would be the rest of their lives: they would make decisions, but if mom disapproved, he would just change them and his wife would not even be notified, much less asked her permission. I can see horrible things happening, from small things like changing their dinner plans to giant things like sabotaging her career because they think she should be at home like a good wife, keeping her from getting gynecologic care...these things tend to escalate...
Absolutely agree. This is setting the tone for the entire marriage. She's going to continue to control everything in your marriage. The last response on the video was right on point.
And it is made even worse by the fact that the bride paid for the dress herself. He traded in something that he didn't pay for and had absolutely no legal right to. That is prettu much theft.
Yeah. That’s a red flag to end all red flags. It’s not just like “oh it’s just a wedding and then everything will be fine after. It almost NEVER gets better, only worse. That is going to be the entire relationship. I usually hate when people are like “he doesn’t buy you flowers? Dump him” or whatever but things like this are a HUGE deal.
My mom went with the dress that her MIL wanted instead of the one she wanted because she was trying so hard to please her and "go with the flow". My dad's parents didn't even come to the wedding and my mom spent years trying to make a woman, who hated all her daughters-in-law, love her. She has talked many times about how much she regrets not just getting the dress she wanted.
If your parents are still together? Maybe you could help your mom find another dream dress for their next anniversary or vow renewal? Find a seamstress who could create a gown similar to your mom's dream dress? Your mom's dream gown might be on some site that deals with repurposing or vintage wedding gowns. Even tracking down the dream gown and giving it to your mom would mean so much to your mom.
It's really the groom's fault most- he's the AH for not sticking up for her, then does Mommy's dirty work! Everytime there's a conflict he won't have her back.
I'm very concerned for the groom in story 1. That's some emotional incest and if she's been producing milk this whole time she's been GROOMING HIM SINCE HE WAS AN INFANT.
My ex got mugged, they hit him in the head with a pipe and his ear was hanging off, while we were leaving the hospital I found out he cheated, and that another women was at the hospital before I had got there, I stayed to help him heal and later found out he was cheating on me again. Show no mercy to cheaters bc circumstance has nothing to do with cheating ( in the case of them having some sort of freak accident)
Girls are raised to think they have to choose between being martyrs and being heartless selfish bitches, but cheaters don't deserve their thick-and-thin loyalty. It's also so rude to the girl for the family to center his feelings of guilt and his desire for another chance over her right to the truth. She "should" forgive him? That's not his right to say what she should do.
hello everyone i don't know if i should tell you this but i am gonna, i am from north western India, and i have heard stories about a specific wedding tradition in our culture, where the groom has to be breastfeed by his mother for one last time before the wedding, as after the marriage represents the maturing of the groom, and as a sign of him turning into a man.
@@rahulmeenaofficial oh that is interesting - however how is the mother still producing milk? as that only happens when she has a kid? or are the boys being married off so early and the mothers still having babies so late? or is it normal to breastfeed until marriage age? lots of questions, sorry.
I had gone to many bridal stores before my wedding to find a dress that I loved but could afford to buy without success, I fell in love with one dress but it was out of my budget. During the afternoon the bridal shop called me at work to say that the dress I loved had been paid for in full and was waiting for me to collect. My husband had called the shop to ask if there was a particular dress that I wanted so they told him, he paid in full for the dress for me 🥰
My husband also footed the bill for my dress when he found out I was going to settle because I didn’t want to spend the money. And no, it wasn’t outrageously expensive! I had just been brought up in a very modest Mormon home where the belief was you sew your own dress and you don’t spend money on things like receptions lol. Even though I left the religion long ago, the guilt of splurging on myself remained.
About the wedding dress one: even IF she was ok trying out the other dress, its a MASSIVE red flag that hed try to force it on her. Taking the dress SHE bought with HER money back to the store and replacing it without consulting her is astounding. You could make a sail out of that red flag right there. Obvious signs of gaslighting and narcissism. He holds himself and his mother at a higher value than his fiancee
@@Willowy13 that doesn't matter at all, actually. Sad but true. They don't look at the name on the receipt, because many items are gifts. And if he came in with her in the first place they would probably assume she was on board with the dress change. (I haven't watched the video in a while so I could be wrong)
Tell your fiancé that his mother can pick your dress if you can pick what she wears for your wedding and agrees to NEVER again interfere in the decisions you make as a couple. Then go to a goodwill shop and pick out the worst thing you have ever seen for her to wear and explain that that was how the dress she picked made you feel, crummy. I was married to a chap like that and it doesn’t end once the ring is on your finger. As Princess Diana said “there were 3 people in her marriage, it was too crowded to work”. Some women???
As someone who got a divorce a month after the wedding because of the momma drama, I’m advising the girl from the second story to RUN!!! You are not married to 1 person, you are married to 2 people ( your hopefully ex-fiancé and his mom), you are not a person rather an extension of them who is only there to be subjected to their wants/needs/tantrums … again RUN!
I’ve seen so many stories like the one with the groom still breastfeeding. I saw one where AFTER the wedding, the groom asked if he could bring his mom on their HONEYMOON because she was still breastfeeding him. The bride ended up getting an annulment.
Is this from some certain culture or cultural tradition somewhere on the planet?? Like she says here this is one of the most messed up things I've ever heard of.
@@LindaRedmond-uk4rm I have no idea if it is or not. I can’t think of any where this is a thing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t somewhere. I’m pretty sure that biologically speaking, it’s pretty uncommon for a person to still be breastfeeding into adulthood because women tend to lose the ability to breastfeed when they hit menopause. I’m not 100% sure on that fact though.
The fact that no one thinks it’s over when it’s clear she’s really hurt and doesn’t want the relationship anymore is so frustrating on top of all the other emotions. That would be enough for me personally to cut it off immediately. Everyone’s doubt in what I know is right would piss me off so bad. She definitely needs to walk because of his family too. They’ll never be honest with her as family if they did that to her.
I also dont understand how her parents can just say "You'll get together again soon anyway" like, for me its not even the problem they believe it but that they dont do anything to encourage her to really break it off. If you find out your childs fiance cheated on them (or generelly hurt them to the point they dont want to marry the fiance) then you encourage her to break it off, tell her she's right in doing so and tell her she doesnt need to feel bad about it because HE'S the one who's at fault.
Yes!! And it only came to light because his religious mother was scared for his soul! If he never got in that accident, she would’ve gotten married to him based on a happy facade! I hope she holds her ground because she should not be with him
Not only would I call the wedding off if I caught my fiance being breastfed, I would also scream and shout and tell EVERYONE at the wedding so they would understand and we could turn it into a farewell party instead.
@@luciatat4084 I would not be. That is so appalling, horrifying, and disgusting to hear and to envision that it would be reason enough to call off the wedding right then and there and tell everyone why, as well.
The wedding dress return one: The issue is SO NOT about the dress. The issue is about the abuse being poured onto the pre-bride by the pre-mother-in-law and fiancé! Omg, the screaming reaction of the pre-bride was her spirit spewing out red flags! Her screaming was a healthy reaction to the abuse and the shocking realization of being in horrible danger!
As a licensed marriage and family therapist I think you said something really important on the last story: it's her relationship. We can easily sit outside and judge because we're not emotionally connected. On the first story though and the dress one, RUN!!!
But she already said that for her it was over the moment she found out. It's the fact that nobody treats it as if it's over and his injury are basically guilt trippong her. Shouldn't this woman get encouragement to do what she feels is right when nobody else supports her? They're not even married yet, they have no children, what's to save here? He's fine, he's recovering, she shouldn't be guiltied into giving it a chance.
@SingingCrowie I agree with you, but I wanted to know at what point a therapist says it's enough from an outside perspective. It seems like, and I may be wrong, that some therapists hear someone say one person is done in a relationship, but the therapist says to give the relationship another go. Of course, my opinion is just based on what has happened with me.
@@mskurolove yes, my comment was intended at the original poster. I understand your point and I think it's a good point. I feel like a therapist shouldn't be encouraging another go for a relationship when one person says they are done, especially if this is not couple's therapy where both partners decided to work on it. Rather, the therapist should ask questions to help you navigate your feelings and come to your own conclusion. I too go to a relationship therapist with my partner, and I feel like this is what she is doing for us. At the end of the day it is true that it is their relationship and their decision. But I feel like it's wrong to outright encourage someone to give a relationship a second chance when they are expressing they are done, especially after a significant breach of trust like cheating. It feels like a therapist wouldn't have the best interest of the client at heart but instead projecting some of their own views. In the post I didn't see the OP doubting her decision really, more like she was doubting if her feelings are valid because everyone seemed to invalidate them. Especially the manipulative MIL, oh my gosh. So I think in this case it's more helpful to validate her feelings and help her be her own person.
11:58 Perfect question! “Ok, so what about YOU?” To me this woman has been extremely compassionate to a *friend* (her fiancé, to whom she no longer wants to marry) in a terrible spot but that responsibility to be an encouragement CANNOT extend to obligating her to MARRY someone who (recently) cheated on her. This isn’t her “punishing him” it’s her taking care of herself. Actions have consequences!!
For the MIL wedding dress one, I actually broke off an engagement for almost the same reason. Wasn't a dress, just that my fiance kept putting his mother before everything and the closer and closer we got to the wedding the more and more I noticed. I asked him who was more important me or his mother and he said her, I said what about when we have kids, who'll be more important, he said his mother again...I broke it off right there. If a man still thinks his mother is the most important thing in the world he's not mature enough to get married
Itshould be everyone as important as the other. The mom came before you. But that said, there should be a healthy relationship there between his mom and him and not let his mom be a monster in law.
My husband holds his mother in very high respect and it is quite nice to see. It's a good thing for men to respect their moms (if their mom is a good person and didn't abuse them or something), but while my husband has respect for her, he has respect for me, too. It's a different kind of respect, the same way it's a different kind of love. It's great for a man to love his mom and want his mother to be involved, but the mother does not get the final say. My husband and I never had a wedding ceremony, but we both made it very clear when we do where we draw our lines and boundaries when it come to anyone else being involved in our relationship.
My grandma chose my moms weddingdress and she hated it so much, she let it rot in the basement and then threw it out right in front of my grandma. She regretted it so much to have listened to her mother in law in this matter. (My dad apparently told her back then, that my mom should not listen to his mother, because she is a mean and treacherous person.) So moral of the story is to not let your in-laws decide your wedding dress.
My friends own mother did the same to my friend. And that’s exactly what happened to her wedding dress…and the marriage…and her mother. She got rid of all of them and is super happy now! 😊
The story with the mother in law with the “vision” is absolutely insane. If that is about the dress, imagine if they have children?!? I wouldn’t walk away from him. I would run.
When my wife and I announced our engagement, the family was so excited that they all were all throwing out ideas. Wife said. I want to say something, and I will only say this once. My sister just had her wedding destroyed by her mother in law and "well-meaning" friends. It was nothing she wanted, and no one listened to her. This is my day. Not yours. It's not your do over because you didn't get what you wanted because someone used your wedding as their do over. If you can not accept that, I will say. Thank you for your help and input. Because I am grateful. But I will see you at the reception. This means you are still welcome to come. But if you can't understand this is my wedding and not your do over, you don't get to help.
I’m just so glad for the fact that these brides find out all this BEFORE the wedding. Imagine finding out these severe issues your partner has after being married. 😮
I feel like, with the last story, if you find you can't trust him anymore then it's very very hard to come back from that. You'll be second guessing yourself every time he does something that seems off or different and you'll never be happy living with that mentality constantly. It would be exhausting and not worth it.
when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, I cheated emotionally on my bf and my parents called me out. Told me I was cheating and I needed to break up with my current bf if I wanted to date the other boy so bad. I did exactly that. Any parent that doesn't call out their kids when they cheat and tell them to come clean is failing.
I hate that “you should give me a chance to prove myself and my loyalty.” Um, that chance was the entire relationship. You proved your loyalty until you didn’t, it’s as simple as that. And this poor woman has everyone in her life telling her how she should feel. People need to leave her alone and accept her decision.
My DIL is one of my best friends!!! Her & I are super close. In the beginning, she would call me & ask my opinion... I KEEP IT TO MYSELF!!! Acouple times my son was wrong but I STAYED OUT OF IT!!! Its been 14 years & 3 grandchildren. She IS the best thing that has ever happened to my son. I'm so blessed
Take it from someone who's mil was overbearing and terrible, it never ends. This woman tried her best to break us up from day 1. It got worse after I had a child. Threw a fit if outfits she bought weren't worn, holidays had to be spent with her. She stopped speaking to my husband for weeks because I didn't want my child christened Catholic because I wasn't Catholic. Told her family I was a secret crackhead. I finally had to ban her from my home and all parties. Had to wait 17 years for her to die. When you say "I do" your vowing to spend a lot of your life with more than just your husband. Keep that in mind.
This is one of the reasons I want to remain single. I don't want in-laws all over my home. I don't want to be bothered with them. They're almost always annoying and want more than your own family does. I love to be single and stress free.
@@tisha4lives it always depends. My in-laws are awesome. They are some of the most fun people I’ve ever known. They take us on bar crawls with them and offer to watch our son so we can go out on vacation.
Me for all of the stories: girl, run! The first story was absolutely wild but the last two really struck me. Having just got out of a really toxic situation myself, I can really see the effects that those story’s show on the brides’ self esteem. The grooms blatantly show such a lack of respect and the people they hurt are wondering if they’re the problem. It sucks so much. I hope they managed to free themselves. 💕
I've also run into the breastfeeding by mom thing. In this particular case, the bride unfortunately found out after the wedding, during the honeymoon - which the groom's mom also joined against the bride's wishes (obviously). The marriage was annulled thankfully.
Can only repeat myself on the cheating: It's not "one mistake". There's multiple steps between meeting someone and ending up having intercourse. It's easy to be remorseful AFTER it happened and finding any/every excuse AFTER they cheated. It's people's choice to continue these relationships but at least take some time for yourself like the last OP said. Question wether you're really willing to let it pass or if it'll be a lingering thought tormenting you constantly every time they don't pick up the phone. That aside the last OP, imho, also realised that this is his family that won't look out for her. Covering up his cheating and enabling his entitlement to forgiveness and wanting to further pressure her. Really sad since it seems like her parents aren't really looking out for her either. Hopefully she can find some solace within herself and clear the emotional mess these people put on her, maybe at least her friends are focused on her well being.
Right? People act like you were just strolling along naked and accidently put your genitals on someone else's genitals. It takes time, and at least a little planning, to fuck someone discreetly.
My mom is currently like this!! My father's family sided with his cheating a**!! And really made my mother the villian.. I hate we have no divorce laws in my country...
Agreed. It not like he took one misstep and fell into another woman's vagina. Then he made to decision to cover his a.. and keep it a secret from his fiancé. He completely disregarded her in EVERY way. Then he went to his family, full well knowing they would support his decision and "confessed" to soothe his guilt. He is toxic AF and you can see where he got it from in his mother's complete disregard for her feelings when she told her, at a time that was already an overwhelmed situation. She was worried about her son's eternal damnation at that moment. Yet she was not worried about a couple of months before that when she advised him to just hide it? To Hell with your feelings at that time. Just, here have another problem to deal with so that SHE could clear her conscience for her craptastic advice to her son that might send him straight to the fiery pits of Hell?
Anyone else think the MIL in the dress story picked a dress that looks similar to her own past wedding dress? Husband is gone, son is only child. Wouldn't be the 1st story I've seen where she views her son as a replacement for her own spouse. I'd play like to see her old wedding photos. Last story: I'd tell his mother that, if she wants to be disappointed in someone, she needs to look at her son. She doesn't have the right to judge OP for her (very justified) response to his epic betrayal.
I knew a kid in college that thought drinking breast milk from his mother was perfectly normal. He must have been 19, and asked why we don’t breastfeed until marriage so another kid said “because drinking your moms milk is gross” and this 19yr old answered back “not if it’s straight from the tap because then it’s sanitary.” 😮 later on we found out his mom was basically a new age hippie and had thirteen children that were all currently breastfed and ages 2 to 23.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 agreed. You do get "late" breast feeding (until about 5 years) in certain African tribes. But it serves the purpose of helping with immune system in environments where infant de@th rates can be quite high. But even there they get cut off at school going age.
BS. People are likely to do things, if they are following patterns, that they are unaware of, or are, but purposely choose to continue, for their gain. Its simplistic, and not true what ur dad said. I find it just lazy and judgemental to base opinions on triusms like that.
Story three makes my heart hurt because what a low threshold to cheat. Instead of supporting her or doing his fair share so there was less stress, he decides to hurt her in the worst way imaginable. That level of selfishness is definitely in other areas of the relationship too. I hope she's free of him and his entire family.
If cheating because he’s stressed about the marriage is his go to plan, I can already assume he’ll cheat when she’s stressed from having kids or he’s stressed from work.
@@roygbiv9038 Exactly what I was thinking. No marriage is completely stress-free, and if cheating is his go-to over being stressed, then he'll cheat again. She needs to walk away.
I doubt it was stress. A lot of people have second-thoughts when they get married because they see it as a definitive choice. You can't choose anymore; that door will get closed, so I think they probably start wondering if there isn't something better out there, if they're making the best/right choice. I heard many stories of people cheating with one of their exes just before getting married. It's probably some type of commitment anxiety. They start imagining some best version of some ex that got away. It's probably a sign of being unsure in the relationship.
I agree with everything here but there's one thing that you guys didn't mention, that I feel deserves a mention - how he and his mom made it sound like she still got to share a part of the blame for his infidelity and "breaking his spirits". "You were stressed and stressing him out" "Please don't take advantage of my (MIL) desperation due to which I told you about his infidelity behind his back, and punish him and kill his spirit" Despite all this, OP was being very nice and staying with him for most of his recovery. Like you all said here, if OP goes through with marriage, during stressful situations in their married life, he's not only going to cheat on her, but will also just end up telling his momma about it. Why? His momma has proved to him that she will nicely choose a time where he is at OP's mercy to tell OP about the cheating, like she did here. She will also not forget to shift some of the blame on OP. "The kids were stressing him out, while you got to go out for a mom break with your friends" "Please don't take advantage of my desperation and tell him about it. Why do you want your children to grow up fatherless?"
I work as a 911 dispatcher and I can't tell you how stressful this job can be. I had a video come up as suggested and I am so glad I found them! Your reactions and witty comments are so hilarious! Yesterday was one of those really close to-crying days but I took a moment and played one of your bridezilla videos and I was laughing and gasping in shock just like anyone at the stories. Thank You for just making me laugh and being able to distress you are awesome. 🙂🙏💙
I always give interesting calls to people in general... I'm not sure if I called non-emergency... I told the dispatcher something like this' So... I saw a couple's vehicle stall in front of my house. I yelled over that I would help by getting the emergency jumper starter inside the house. I come back and they are gone. They took this van and popped out the key ignition. But the best part was... "Ah.. umm... i am not sure why this lady wore hot pink pants while stealing a vehicle......." Humans do some strange things....
Another phone call was to the insurance company when I got into a car accident... I told the story of what happened... At the end of the story (there was a lot of craziness in between) I went to get the information from the man that owned the car. I said his gf and him are a cute couple. Then... He asked me to sleep with him 😑
Last story... The "soon to be hubby". A relationship boils down to trust and respect... Simple TRUST and RESPECT. He cheated... Trust is broken and there is no respect... No excuses. Might be able to regain some trust but the respect is not there. Plus complete trust is gone. Walk away pure and simple. Respect YOURSELF.
In the last story he told her to give him a chance to prove his loyalty, i think what he did already proved how disloyal he was. I'm glad she didn't give in and get into a marriage where she'll be questioning his fidelity during the stresses of life.
The girl whose fiance exchanged the dress for the one his mother wanted: the combo of her dad advised her to be a doormat and her asking if she's the AH for standing up for herself tells me she grew up in an abusive home and sees love where there is none and her judgment has been compromised by the very people that were supposed to have her back. Poor girl, I hope she will be able to figure out, she has a lot of damage to undo she likely doesn't even recognize as damage yet. So tragic. I hope I'm wrong
*My father-in-law tried talking my hubby out of marrying me the night before our wedding!!!* My hubby told him that he loved me, and that they needed to stop treating me like garbage! My hubby and I have been married for *6 years,* and we’re _still_ in the honeymoon phase! 🥰❤️ We’ve never had a fight, and I love every minute with him!!! 😁 *I LOVE MY HUBBY!!!* 🥰😘❤️❤️❤️
@@houseofschenck6230 his parents *both* said I didn’t deserve him. 😐 It took me at least 4 years to be comfortable around them, and now they like me more than their other daughter-in-law!
Man, for the guy who cheated and was in the accident - HIS ENTIRE FAMILY KNEW. And none of them told her, and all of them expected her to just accept it if she ever did find out. And when his mom told her, she then tried to guilt her into accepting it and keeping the relationship going? No. The relationship ended the minute her son 'got stressed out' and cheated. And the OP should be mad at his entire family as well for both accepting this, endorsing it, and keeping it from her. The entire family should be removed from her life, yikes.
These stories brought back the stress! My fiance's mother was a pushy, controlling B, and his whole family treated me like an accessory. I was the least important in the room at all times, and he rarely stood up for me. In a way, I'm glad so much BS happened while we were still engaged. Realized I couldn't possibly live like that the rest of my life, and worse if we had kids. There were other issues too, so I ended the relationship. It was not a fun time, but was 💯 the right decision. My only regret is that I didn't leave sooner.
Gloria, I'm so glad to hear that you left the situation you described with your fiancé. I hope more young people will examine their relationships for what they are and leave when necessary. Yes, it hurts at the time, but you have to take care of yourself... it's your job! Light and love to you! 💋
@@mistresskate9799 Thank you. I was still young when I was in that relationship. I have since evolved into someone who would never put up with the same crap. 😎
Last story: His excuses was he was stressed, things were getting hard, etc. *DUDE* THIS IS LIFE! So, what, are you going to cheat again every time you're stressed _during_ the marriage or when things get hard? *no excuses.*
That was my thing! Life doesn’t stop being stressful when you get married! Also, notice he told his mother his fiancé was stressing him out. Trying to blame her for his behavior much?
So grateful for my MIL! She was so paranoid about becoming an overbearing MIL for her only child, that she gave us so much space. And she was so supportive about everything at our wedding, especially when she was invited to pick my dress. She has become my second mom! Feel so bad for these ladies.
He kills me when people who cheat say "it didn't mean anything". If I was cheated on and my husband told me that, I would respond "well it means something to me!"
For the story where the groom forced the bride to wear the wedding dress his mom picked out; if he’s being like that for the wedding/dress can you imagine all the other drama regarding him being a Mama’s boy that the poor bride potentially had to deal with? I love a man who can respect and love his family but at the same time there is a point where it’s just taken too far.
The guy who switched the dresses was not only not standing with his soon to be wife but he was actively going against her wishes and was gaslighting her afterwards. There is only one solution: end this now! There will be no room for her in this relationship, not for her wishes or her needs. And remember, it will only become worse when married. In the beginning everyone presents their best self.
If they don't respect her autonomy regarding her wedding dress, what else are they not going to respect?
That's a big ol' red flag right there that is.
🚩
Plot twist: wedding dress mom was the breastfeeder mom from story #1.
Can you imagine if they have KIDS?!!😀
@@chrystiafreelandscankles548 LOL that would make it make SO much more sense!!!
Exactly. If your partner doesn't have your back on something so obvious, how can you expect them to have your back when the real problems arrive?
(This is a real problem. I didn't mean it isn't; I just don't know for sure how else to say it)
As a woman who was married to a mamas boy for 17 years, ladies, I’m going to tell you to run. She will always get in the way, make excuses for bad behavior and turn on you in the worst way. I’m also the mother of 3 sons, all of who I am very close with. My oldest is married. I step out of the way. I am his beginning, but she is his future. For that, she deserves respect and love.
I love how you phrased that: you, as his mum, was his beginning, but his wife is his future. I wish all MILs could feel that way…so many MIL horror stories.
My ex was totally controlled by his mother AND maternal grandmother. Years after we divorced he found me via Google and told me he was going to be in the city where I lived and I invited him to stay at my place, even though we had had no contact for the 32 years since our divorce. His mother was still alive and I asked him if she knew he was staying with me. Guess what the answer was: NO! That Mama’s boy I divorced 32 years ago was still a Mama’s boy. Yikes-so glad I got out when I did!
Couldn’t agree more. Spent two years with a mama’s boy and it was literally awful. Worst two years of my life.
Yep. And run fast
I call my bf “my love” (bu in Spanish “mi amor”) almost always I call him more love than his actual name (he does the same) … but recently his mother has joined the ship! And she is calling him my love too the whole time 😄 idk if she does it because she is kinda jealous or to make me feel mad but all I feel it’s pity for her
@@aribizajj9261 that’s so bizarre for her to suddenly start doing! I’d feel kinda creeped out to be honest. This also seems like the perfect time to suddenly change up what you call each other to something a little more subtle, like an inside joke between y’all? My boyfriend affectionately calls me “his little nail” which sounds super weird to anyone out of the loop! But makes perfect sense to us because of the inside joke!
Cheaters don't cheat before the wedding because of anxiety. They cheat because they think it will be the last time they will be "free," as if getting married to a person who loves them with all their heart is a prison and punishment itself. Op is better off without him if that's how he sees their relationship.
Give him a chance to prove his loyalty? He’s already proved he has none. Run girly as fast as you can away from decades of you compromising yourself for the cheater & his fam.
That's not true. Men don't stop cheating just because there's a ring. They continue on until they're caught.
I agree, I don't understand how someone can cheat because they're "stressed". There's no way only they are stressed, their partner is definitely stressed too and they aren't cheating. The fact that their so-called stress is enough to get them to cheat just shows that they wouldn't last long if there's a conflict when they're married. Of course, like you said, definitely not stress though.
@AngelaBatista-ct9fh When I get stressed, I don't go around having sexual intercourse with exes or strangers, I break down crying alone until I feel better, like a normal person. I don't know how the dude even thought of that as an excuse😂
When I’m stressed I sleep all day and watch dramatic tv shows. Not cheat.
My mom and grandmother had decided by the time I was 7 that I was getting married in a replica Cinderella wedding dress (animated original not live action) and my husband would be dressed as the prince.
I still think it's crazy having such strong visions of your kids' weddings.
Perhaps because their wedding visions weren't satisfied so they put it on someone else? But the girl with the dress, yeah, gtfo.
Some parents already envision having grandchildren when their own children are born. It's effed up
I agree, I think the key is " such strong visions." There's nothing wrong with parents or grandparents daydreaming about their future kids and/or grandkids or their weddings. The wrong enters when they place their opinions or wants over the desires of the actual children or grandchildren, be it the wedding or pressuring for grandkids, etc.
Maybe they should have just taken you to Disneyland 😂
Pleasewearapantsuitpleasewearapantsuitpleasepleaseplease
At my Mom and Dad’s 50th Wedding anniversary, she stood in front the 16x20 copy of their wedding photo and said… “I wish your Grandma wouldn’t have made me wear that dress” I didn’t know, until then, that my Dad’s mom picked out the dress and made her wear it. It bothered her for 50 years, and on a day that was supposed to be full of celebration, her heart was broken over her wedding dress. Don’t let ANYONE tell you what to wear.
That's it, you never stop resenting something like that.
SAME! But I was 6 months pregnant when we had our shotgun wedding and because of that didn't get to really choose anything for our wedding except i wanted a non-alcoholic fountain (which I got, but never used. We only ate a bite of the cake and that it till we ordered pizza at the one night we had at a hotel)
Even my Bridesmaids were family and they chose their dresses. No wedding shower or Bachelorette party or any thing. Why when she's already pregnant? I didn't even know about those things.
I'm thankful that my parents paid for everything because i was 19 and hubby was 18. My late grandmother picked out and made my dress, the cakes, catered, and did all the flowers. I'm thankful it was all done and so quickly, but I Hated that dress... and the whole thing, but I love him, and that's what mattered. Even so it felt like a punishment for getting pregnant. Before him, I was a very sheltered virgin who was just starting to have some freedom. (Hubby was young overwhelmed and didn't argue either)
I kept saying to myself that we can redo everything on our 10th, then 15th, then 20th.... but it won't ever happen.
Our 25th wedding anniversary is 3 days after our oldest son is getting married.
Because my future daughter-n-law's family lives several hours away she invited me & our daughter (her mom was on FaceTime on a tripod). I stressed to her over and over that it's not about ANYONE else's opinion except her and maybe my son. I'd hate for her to live with the regrets I have had to live with. THOSE ARENT NOT MY HUBBY OR SON, OR ANY OF OUR KIDS, but I hate our wedding pictures and if it wasn't that I loved my grandmother, I'd have especially burned that dress a long time ago.
(My paternal grandmother had one daughter that got married 4 times... so she had practice with wedding stuff. It's just that my Aunt always chose what she wanted and if my grandmother didn't couldn't do it she'd hire someone who could.)
Your mother deserves to have your father to hold another wedding that is EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED
OMG nooo never let ANYONE‼️‼️ ESPECIALLY his mom push you around or be involved or making ANY decisions about YOUR wedding. She had yours, it’s your turn.
Otherwise she will continue to make you miserable & control so much of what you do.
I wanted a $300 wedding dress. My mom liked one better that was $700. It was more glitz, more figure-friendly… but the $300 fit my personality better, brought me more joy and was easier to dance and move in.
I got the $700 dress to make my mom happy.
I regret that I did. I have NO emotional connection with it. I am not fantasizing joyfully about my daughters wearing it.
I should’ve got the more simple $300 dress.
I love experiences more than things. Give me a day at the beach, not Disneyland. It’s who I am.
All brides should find the dress that brings them joy! (And if you’re freaking out over the low price of both dresses, secret tip - go wedding dress shopping in Utah. More weddings per capita, with a short-engagement time culture (cuz they be virgins, y’all)… the dresses range from $200-$6,000 instead of $2,000 to $10k+).
My mother-in-law considered us married the day I met her son. When it came time to plan the wedding, all she wanted to know was what she was supposed to wear and where she was supposed to be. She said she will put on whatever I give her and she will pay whatever I ask.
It has made everything so much easier knowing that she’s just in our corner.
I don't have an intrusive mother-in-law and always refer to her as my mother-in-love because I love her to bits. She never oversteps and loves me more than my own mom. She is the best. ❤️
I love a good MIL story. I was lucky to have both a great MIL and Step-MIL. Even though we didn't work out (divorce), I'm still friends with both of them and know they will be there for me if I ever need anything.
You are very very blessed to have her as a mother in law
My mother in law is honestly the best! Sometimes I view her as more of a mom than my mom. She’s also the greatest grandmother to my children.
Great mother-in-law! This is how I aspire to be when/if my kids get married.
For that second story: the fact that he *went behind her back* and swapped the dress in his mother's favour would be enough to walk out that door and end the relationship. A partner who is sneaky like that and defies your wishes to push through his own (or his mother's) is not a person you want by your side.
It’s all downhill from here on RUN don’t look back. 💙❤️💚💜
Some people learn the hard way that when you marry someone, you marry their family. It shouldn’t be up to you to deal with your partner’s family.
If the bride caves in.....the Mother in law will continue to overstep boundariss FOREVER
Was horrified by the breastfeeding momas boy😱 and thought no way is it getting worse but then momas boy number 2 came along. 😒 This is why even God stated that a "man shall leave his parents and stick to his wife and they 2 will become one" . Parents should also understand healthy boundaries for everyones sanity. I would run for my life if I were her
Fact
I feel so sorry for the girl in the last story. It’s not easy to forgive that kind of betrayal and I hope she does get the closure she needs because it sucks to go through that and only be told “it was just a dumb moment that meant nothing”, and then you realize that they don’t love and think of you in the same way you love and think of them. He’ll always regret that moment, that is for sure, and now he’ll always regret listening to his parents and not coming clean about it earlier himself.
The second story about the wedding dress: GIRL RUN!
If your husband and in-law are running the show this early on, just wait until you guys try to make a life together. YOU should be a priority. YOU are his family now. She’s going to end up divorced or unhappy. Not worth it.
Can you return the wedding dress ,is it possible ?(means wedding dress are non returnable items ?
Run fast. Run hard. Do not look back. Omg. He’s awful
@@notso1471that’s what I was thinking too! I wonder what he told the retailers for them to return it???
@@LisaT_the audacity of this man and his mom lol I can’t. I am also with someone who’s an only child and this was something I was scared of when I got with him 😅
@@zabby25 yes some stories are just made up by people who wants to see dramas in comment section
The last one hits home personally. The fact The MIL kept telling her she was "taking advantage" when they should have told her in the first place is gaslighting. They look at it like it is just one time but is murdering someone okay just one time? When you cheat, you are killing that person's trust, love, feelings, peace of mind. They will never be the same after that. You may not murder them physically, but you are murdering them in every other way. Making excuses for it is BAFFLING to me.
And I'll bet it WASN'T just the one time.
I'm glad you said it. My thoughts exactly.
There is no point in marrying someone who has cheated on you. You will NEVER trust them again, and every time they are out alone or late home you will torture yourself wondering where they are, what they are doing and with whom. Her peace of mind is worth more than his professions of guilt.
As someone who has experienced this 1st hand multiple times? I actually think there is instances where shit just happens and you make an epic. Fuck up and you wish you could take it back but you can't not everybody is perfect and not everybody has enough inner strength when temptation comes around that does. Not mean that they don't love you and that doesn't mean that you can't mend things and work it out but I don't think that just. Because they cheated one time that it should be the end. I'll be all if it's worth the fight to fix it because like. I said everybody makes mistakes even if that's an epic one. Now let me ask a question let's say she had cheated just one time. Would it be acceptable then or should he bail out on her the same way that she wants to bail out on him?
If he's done it once, he'll do it again. Because why not? He got away with it the first time, if that was even the first time he's cheated on her. Besides, if his reaction to some stress is to go sleep with other people, then he's absolutely never gonna stop cheating. Newsflash! Life is very stressful. Cheating on your significant others never has a good excuse.
The last story was horrible. It was so horrible for OP first, she thought she was going to lose this guy because of a drunk driver and then she finds out that he’s really not faithful. My heart goes out to that poor girl.
It makes it so much worse that she's such a good person she still put him and his health first even after he cheated... I don't have that in me. I'd have beaten my man's a$$ in the hospital. I hope she found someone as loyal and loving as she is
I would have looked for the drunk driver and give him gifts for somehow preemptively, accidentally exacting justice 😂
@@tiffanycarter4189 That woman is way too good. I would have told him I knew everything about it the moment he opened his filthy eyes.
I wouldn't out up with him
@@TinayBautista 😄😄😄this
The OP in the last story dodged a major bullet. The accident was a blessing because it exposed him as a selfish asshole and his family as enablers and misogynists. Notice how even in their "apologies" they were still trying to blame OP. How it was her fault he cheated because she stressed him out. Or how the mom tried to say that OP took advantage of her by being mad at her son for cheating. They don't care about her, they're upset because no one will be there to take care of their golden child for them.
And to add onto your comment; waited until the fiancé was compromised in a car accident before telling her to milk the sympathy and turn into a victim card.
This family is nuts and OP's family don't seem too far behind in some aspects.
@rustyhowe3907 They always pull the switch up as soon as they think they have you trapped. That's why a lot of older people have told me to not get married or move in with someone until you've seen how they treat you when you're vulnerable.
@@ebonyblack7272 I was one of those people myself, and yes I say the same thing; DON'T get married without knowing what they're like in a crisis, too many crazies even before it was marketed for internet attention seekers to get some extra research material.
Agreed! They were gaslighting her the whole way and advised that he not tell her! That’s scummy in so many ways. She needs to run and put her foot down. I hope she’s doing better. She sounded like a wonderful person.
It was sick how they expected her to marry into a family where literally everyone had betrayed her, before day one. How clueless and selfish can you be? They all deserved to learn a hard lesson.
It's creepy how many moms are so romantically attached to their own sons.
Right it's disgusting like those mothers need their kids taken from them before they f up their sons
My mother has narc traits and her connection to her son is odd. Like a surrogate spouse. They are way too close and it makes me uncomfortable. She would tell people am jealous of her son. Even though I never felt that way. She brainwashed him so she could have him to herself. Divide and conquer. Now she laughs and jokes with him and doesn't care he now hates me because of the words she fed him. He's oblivious but I see alot of emotional incest too. I always think, when he gets married she's going to make his wife's life a living nightmare. Since she's so territorial over him. She couldn't stand her own child, her daughter close with her brother. Doubt she'll give anyone else any chance. She wants him to herself and under her influence. It's sad and also confusing, don't know why some mothers are like this.
Why are some mothers like this? Does anyone know ?
They raise them to be the husbands they always wanted
Its the single mothers, raising their sons without a strong male influence, to be perfect little pussies and praising them for it. Those boys grew up to be todays trans females, or either guys like this who are still on the boob.
For the fiancé in the hospital one; OP was in her full right to walk out the door that night without looking back if she'd wanted, his recovery be damned. He stopped deserving her support when he made the decision to cheat. Let his family take care of him. You aren't leaving him because of the accident, you're leaving because he cheated
Right.....she didn't run him over
And the guilt trips momma gives her. He was stressed, well ladeda! Grow up!
Only thing I’d add is that if she did walk out she should talk to him first to make sure he actually cheated and the mom wasn’t just taking an opportunity to drive a wedge between them. But 100% I wouldn’t blame her for leaving
@@UCanCallMeJesus1 100% confirm
I hope she uses the wedding venue for a fab party for herself.
The fact the entire family knew he cheated....she was betrayed by them all ....that's horrible.
I would feel humiliated. Like the butt of an inside joke.
If that were my son or my brother, my advice would be: You tell her or I will.
People deserve to go into marriage with their eyes open, lying to a future spouse is unacceptable.
@@cbpd89 that is sooo correct! It's a bad way to start a life together where trust is such an important thing.
@@cbpd89 actually did this, my brother was going to get married and he had a gf on the side, I told the gf of the upcoming event bc she deserved to know (she is a very kind person) and she broke it off with my brother. I don’t regret it.
And I did not tell his fiance bc she has caught him Many times and still won’t leave him, she would have cussed me out like she did my mom and then procede to be with my brother as always.
@@magicscoolbus3834 I don't feel bad for the finance. She knows he cheats. Next time don't bother with getting rid of the side piece. It won't matter he will just go and get another.
If the groom's mother wants that dress to be part of the ceremony, the groom should wear it.
rofl, OMG that would have been best answer ever. ten points!
Damn right 😂😂😂
For the last story, it’s best to break off the wedding. If it was due to ‘stress’ over a wedding of all things, that he cheated, imagine future stressful situations? What happens if she gets pregnant and he gets stressed?
Do not marry people who need "emotional support" sex with other people.
My thoughts exactly! Planning a wedding is one of the least stressful events that will happen in your life imo
Right, statiscally pregnancy is when alot of men start to cheat... if he found wedding planning stressful what is he going to do with any other situation
That’s EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT!!!
Again the mother in law is involved. This woman needs to do what she feels in her heart and calling it off sounds like what she needs.
Honestly I’m really proud of that girl who immediately put her foot down and refused to tolerate that kind of betrayal from her fiancé when he cheated.
Did he really cheat? Had he given a vow of fidelity?
We all do things from time to time that we regret and he seemed to, although he made excuses which was bad. We simply do not have enough context. In the OP's mind he cheated and his family covered for him. Which is a little sussy and suggests other issues. But did he really cheat?
@@craigburghardt8604 if they were in a relationship and nothing was said about it being open in any means, uh. YES.
@@craigburghardt8604 So you'd be totally fine if your gf/bf sleeps with someone else?
@@divyas1114 To me, and I admit I very well might be in the minority, I would have to had a discussion about fidelity, make a promise of such. If I am dating someone it is just that.
Monogamy used to be for marriage and even then it still isn't in many parts of the world. Up to the marriage or perhaps the engagement dating several people was the norm. It takes two or more years to fully get to know someone. Especially in a dating situation where people are often being disingenuous, or at the very minimum putting their best face forward.
Over the last forty years or so North American and some of European society has shifted to instant monogamy as soon as we start dating. It is now just assumed, and I am questioning the wisdom of that.
As for would I be upset if my gf slept with another person . . . well a bit but I would be more concerned with how they felt about them, why it happened and what it means to our relationship. Especially if we had never discussed being monogamous.
Humans are not naturally monogamous, that is a scientific fact. We are going against nature for a reason. Finicial co-operation, child raising, and emotional well being are three of several reasons we are have adopted the idea of monogamy as part of a marriage culture. I argue the over-reaction to an alcohol fueled lapse into NATURAL behaviour can be understood. Having said that, if we were in a committed relationship and these incidents happened frequently or cheating was basically another ongoing emotionally invested relationship with regular intercourse then that is a threat to our relationship. A one time slip, while drunk, with someone that they have no intention of doing that with again and a discussion around not being in that kind of situation again and they are very sorry. I would not see that as a threat our relationship and forgive them.
In short I do not think the problem is infidelity, the problem is assumed monogamy and the over reactions it leads to.
@@craigburghardt8604 That's your opinion. Not everyone has the same beliefs as you.
I have a story as a wedding singer!! This took place at the church, we heard it from one of the pianist as to why the wedding got canceled: we noticed at the back of the church that the maid of honor was having a break down. We didn’t think much of it, maybe it was her nerves- when the bride arrives she is adamant about speaking to the bride in private.
We’re waiting for the bride to position herself at the start of the aisle so we can begin the music and prelude, but then everyone is thrown off when they see the bride walk through the side doors instead of the main aisle, making her way down to the altar by the mic stand.
She announces that the wedding is off, as it was brought to her attention by the maid of honor that she and the groom slept together the night before their wedding. Her maid of honor showed her messages and photos of the deed, and was apologetic because they were both drunk and didn’t mean for it to happen. She insisted that everyone make their way to the venue instead of staying at the church to make sure the food and entertainment do not go to waste.
The groom kept trying to talk to her but she ignored him the whole time as she walked out the church and into the limo.
Jaws dropped 😭
Damn...what a story.
That poor maid of honor was crushed up by that guilt.
Edit: I'm not responding to any more replies to my comment. I will leave this here:
I'm not saying that the MOH wasn't in the wrong or that the bride has to forgive her MOH for doing what she did. I do not mean poor as in one should pity her, I mean poor as in she knows what is about to happen and she can feel it. But also kudos to the MOH for confessing what happened immediately because there are people out there who would not have. It was also a good thing that the bride learned that who she was about to marry was a scumbag. Sure, is it unfortunate that it happened on her wedding day? Yes, it is. If someone cheats once, they are likely to do it again. My feelings on the MOH from what we information we have on her are my own opinions. You do not have to share them. They would probably be different if we had more information, but we don't. So don't reply yo my comment I will just ignore it. Thank you, have a lovely day.
1. what a cool job! how long have u been working as a wedding singer?
2. that maid of honor.. i honestly feel so bad for her. she’s not the bad person in my opinion, its possibly the fact that the to-be was even at a place where they could do that..
@@ihadastrokereadingthis I mean in my opinion she has like 1/10 of the faults, but the fact she told the bride as soon as possible is great the groom 100/10 faults
I mean, if I were the maid of honor, can't ever see myself doing the groom.
BUT can't really blame the maid of honor. Cuz, it's not her who was about to vow, to care for you till death separates u and all.
He can't refuse someone that important to the bride, let alone other random women he could come across being "too drunk".
There comes a point where you aren’t “feeding your child” and you’re having 4 play with your grown ass son. That is all.
One of the things I took note of when my husband and I were dating was the way he protected me from his kind of overbearing mom. I thought he was over reacting at first because she isn't so bad, but I'm really grateful he set the tone for our relationship. I have no problem saying "no" to her if she gets a little out of hand because I know my husband will back me no matter what! That groom who wanted his mother's choice of wedding dress over his bride's - not good! Only going to get worse from there!
mothers want to be #1 in their son's lives, called emotional incest
Oh that's soo nice that he protects you I am in a similar kind of situation so my boyfriend whose mom came to my home and took her anger out on me humiliated me in front of my mom (that I can't be her daughter in law and how she disapproved of me etc) and mom cried because of that lady so I fought with him that when he knew his mom isn't willing to come to our house then why would he sent her here, and he replied that he just asked her to just go meet me first. He said that he clearly had no idea that she would react that way what am I supposed to do right now? I would love to know your opinion❤
@@Wajiha.khan22799 He knew, one knows what kind of a mother he has. Run away, please, think of your wellbeing and happinessa and drop him fast.
I told the 1st wife of my brother to stay away from my mother, who is a narcissist and overall horrible person. She thought I was being dramatic because everyone thinks every mother out there is an angel.
Her marriage ended 2 years later because of my monster's interference. His 2nd wife took my warn to the heart. They are still married.
That second story… Everyone touched on the great points of the MIL never leaving them alone, and how horrible it is that the fiance didn’t take her side. But also, it’s the returning the dress to get the new one that gets me too. Not only is he not trying to at least see both sides, but he’s not even having a healthy argument. He went behind her back and returned the dress without her permission. Trying to force her to take his mother’s side. And then, having the audacity to tell HER to “give it a chance.” That’s not about him choosing his mother over her, it’s about him not caring at all about her opinion and her own autonomy. His opinion is the only one that matters to him, period. So messed up
He has to be a narcissist
What chance can she give it? It's her WEDDING DRESS. She is going to wear it once. On her wedding day. She is going to look at that dress every day and hate it more every time.
And she paid for it. He just stole her stuff and gave her his mothers instead. Creepy!
That is serious red flags there because he will never take her side anytime his mother will have a suggestion she is just supposed to shut up and take it and I don't think that's fair. She should just run while she can because it's not going to change and he's not going to change.
Not only was that a serious red flag (going behind her back, returning it without asking, etc), it's THEFT.
The bride paid for the dress. He had NO right to touch it - it wasn't his! To me, that's an extra red flag because not only does he not respect his bride's opinion or choices, he doesn't respect her legal rights and autonomy.
The bride needs to RUN and NEVER look back. Mother and son don't see her as an equal human being and they will make her life a living hell.
For the woman that her Fiancé cheated on her before his accident. If he wasn’t in an accident and you found out you would have never stayed so don’t feel guilty about leaving.
Women are always told to put themselves last. NO you are your number one. You do what makes you happy because you are the only one responsible for your happiness.
Let’s put ourselves first and love ourselves so we can truly be happy!
Also... let's put this in reverse: if the bride had had the terrible car crash, would this cheating fiancé stay by her side and still marry her. I don't think his "loyalty" runs that deep... also imagine HE found out SHE had cheated and she now was in a wheelchair... Really? THIS guy? He wouldn't stick around
I agree. Like someone said in the comment section, regardless of his excuse or reason for cheating, he "proved" how loyal he was and would be as a partner let alone a husband, by not only sleeping with his ex, but keeping it a secret and not admitting it the moment it happened.
The last story really got me. I can see that she is torn and trying to process everything that happened. I'm glad she reached out to strangers on the internet bc there is no bias online like friends, and family for instance. Easier said than done but she needs to leave his sorry ass and I hope she does. Also, no one needs to be guilting her after what they've done to her.
She went above and beyond by just pretending like nothing was wrong while he was still in the hospital. I would have been out of the hospital the moment I found out.
I had a conversation with my 23yo son last night. He and my husband were discussing not understanding women, specifically why we don’t just tell them we want something, and just want them to know. I explained that women and girls are taught from a very young age that we are supposed to be “givers” and to care for everyone and everything else first, so asking for what we want feels “greedy”. It took me a long time to figure this out, but now if I want something, need help, etc I definitely speak up and expect all my “guys” (husband and 2 adult sons) to do what is needed.
Not only does she have to deal with the fact that he cheated, she can't even confront or discuss it with him so she has to choose between staying or breaking up when he's not able-bodied.... the whole family knew...and hid it.... then guilt tripped her for wanting to leave.... She a whole victim.
She should leave and get therapy cuz no one was right on their side and she doesn't deserve the lack of support from the family
Brides mom should go to the groom with the ugliest, most embarrassing, most horrible “tux” he’s ever seen and say “oh I’ve just been dreaming of seeing my daughters husband get married in this, here let me return the one you already got” and see how he likes his wardrobe being dictated.
YES YES YES. Except she shouldn't take it to him. The daughter should just do it and tell her to be husband that is what he's wearing, just like he did to her by returning hers and buying the other.
Bride's mom should bring over a clown suit
@@floralirony Or a brown and orange plaid suit.
I was thinking those pale blue or peach coloured 80s tuxes with the ruffles on the front.
Yeeeeeeesssss !!!!
Shout out to all the dress shop owners/managers that KNOW you DO NOT allow ANYONE other than the BRIDE to return/alter/or exchange wedding dresses. Shame on any dress shop that allows someone other than the original customer to mess with wedding dresses.
What the shop should have did was called and confirmed that the bride wanted to change it so they should have talked to her directly to make sure it was okay. I can see if somebody gave the dress to her and like okay I need this exchange but that was stupid on their part so I agree.
I don't understand how this wasn't theft, point blank. The store would have been processing a return and a new purchase and if the bride was paying for it all, did the give they bride's money for the return to the MIL? Or did they recharge the bride's card for the dress the MIL bought without the bride present there to sign for the transaction? That's fraud and theft. Probably felony grand theft with the cost of most wedding dresses. Press charges against the MIL if they make the break up and wedding cancellation hard.
Exactly. If this place continues to operate like that, I can't imagine they'll be in business much longer!
It’s probably a Reddit story - creative writing. When are any wedding dresses ever returnable?
Right! Just like a previous story Charlotte read when they called the bride to tell her the MIL bought a weeding dress too! They changed everything to all white and bride wore Red!! 😍 i would have gifted the shop for looking out like that!
We NEED an update on that last story. I HOPE she breaks it off, it seems like everyone around her is ready to swipe this under a rug. No. Get out woman.
There is any update , I read it months ago... I just cant remember off the top of my head.
@@savannahmae3679 What??? How can you not remember??? 🤣🤣😩😩😭😭😭
@@kafjaf6387 I honestly want to say that she moved to a different town, the ex-fiance's family came and picked up all his stuff, and she decided to go no contact with all of them. But I'm not going to lie I think I watched the update to this video 6 months ago and sadly this is not the most dramatic story I have listened to. I mean let's face it the first part of this video was probably one of the most dramatic ones, sadly that one doesn't have update yet. I'm pretty sure I read the update on the Lost genre channel, because he's very good about only sharing stories with a lot of updates attached to them but don't quote me on that
Husband to wife “I’m going over to moms for lunch, be back later”
@@savannahmae3679 Let's go with the version where she moves away and starts her own business, where she's really successful and happy ever after. I like that version
For story 2 i cant believe the dad said to not rock the boat!!!! He should be saying run girl run, bcause that MIL gonna have a lot more "visions" for the rest of the brides life. Its gonna be a nightmare life.
Story 3: So not only did he cheat, but he didn’t confess it to his fiancée. Frankly, keeping it a secret bothers me more than the cheating itself. You know you did a bad thing, own up to it.
If your partner wants to stay with you, that’s completely up to them.
Exactly. It’s like he told his mom to get it off his chest without the repercussions of his fiancé leaving him
Not just that but all his family _knew_. I'd feel so humiliated in her shoes. Imagine if you were in that situation and tried to stay the course & gave him a second chance, you'd be wondering if everyone was talking and laughing at you behind your back at the wedding. Not to mention your trust in him and his whole family has been destroyed too. That it took him almost dying and his mother being worried about his sins to speak up...if he had died, all she would have done is cleared her own conscience for telling him not to tell her before, not giving a shit that she would have destroyed the OP, she would have been so angry and also full of grief but unable to process it.
It was a fully selfish act that made his mother tell her and the fact she's gaslighting and being selfish still by laying blame on OP, just shows what kind of person his mother is (and it doesn't bode well for the type of pos he will be too).
And, after all that and it would have made no difference for his "soul" because you cannot confess someone else's sins for them or ask forgiveness on their behalf, it doesn't work like that. The mother isn't even good at being Christian, every action and word is selfish.
There could have been hope, if instead of going to his parents he'd gone to his fiance and talked to her. But he added dishonesty on topnof unfaithfulness. And then to have the nerve to blame it on stress of the wedding when you're insulated from that stress (you're not paying a penny towards it and everything was organised within a week...sounds like the most chill wedding a groom ever had to deal with), itxs like doubling down.
I hope she sticks to her guns.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399this was my thought, too. She thought she had a wonderful relationship with his family, and then in one moment she learned that her fiancé had cheated and they all knew but no one told her. All of those relationships are broken now. On top of that, it shows that his family will “other” her if there is ever a disagreement or problem in the future. This whole story was heartbreaking.
Agreed. It isn’t just one relationship that is broken.
Yeah. I don't condone cheating, but I'm far more likely to forgive someone if they told the truth about their cheating, were genuinely remorseful and took responsibility for their poor choices and promise to NEVER do it again and be a better person.
In the last story I love the fact that everything is HER fault. He didn't cheat because he's a cheater, he cheated because SHE was stressed and SHE was stressing him out. SHE took advantage of MILs moment of honesty and used it against fiance. SHE is hurting him by not understanding that it was really all HER fault that this happened and SHE is making his recovery more difficult by ending the wedding. Give me a F-ing brake, gaslighting at its finest.
Cheaters tend to blame everyone but themselves when they are caught cheating. They are quite good at shifting the blame to their partners instead of taking sole responsibilities for actions that they willing and gleefully chose to carry out.
True. The gaslight is fierce with this family. She needs to run. Cancel the wedding permanently. She can't trust him not to cheat or lie again. Nope. Run, girl. Don't look back.
@Shanelle M she can't trust that whole family. They were all in on it- and if he wasn't seriously injured would've taken that to their graves to protect him. They don't care about her at all- I'd be asking myself what else are they hiding? What more would they be willing to hide in the future?
It especially annoyed me what the mother said. She's not taking advantage of her in a moment of weakness. It's not like her mom divulged her own secret or insecurity and OP is weaponizing it against her. She told the TRUTH of something that happened that DIRECTLY IMPACTS OP, and she has a right to do what she needs to with that information. The cheating is not about the mother - it has nothing to do with the mother.
I haven't seen that part of video yet, but just by reading this, it reminds me of that guy from movie "get out".
Whole family being in on it.
"She meant nothing to me!" Yeah, that's the problem. One night stands might not mean a long term commitment which means it is easy for you to engage in even after marrying someone. That's the worst thing you can say to someone planning their whole future around you and you decide to be unfaithful. It means you'll do it again because it is "She doesn't have what we have."
I don't think that necessarily equates to you're gonna do it again. Some people make the mistake and never do it again and saying she meant nothing to me is the worst thing you can hear because if somebody's gonna pull. That trigger they need to make sure it's worth what they're possibly losing. However people don't think like that and when stressed unhappy miserable etc. You make poor choices poor decisions temptation comes and it's easy to turn a blind eye and I'm saying this is someone that has been cheated on multiple. Times throughout my life. But In my life as I age I realize that things aren't so black-and-white cut dry and there are Gray areas and there are reasons why people do what they do.
I agree. She meant nothing to him, but she was worth destroying all the trust in his relationship over? It’s a ridiculous excuse.
@@mariabunch3541 Yes. A very ridiculous and shameful excuse. "So you mean to tell me that you essentially ruined our relationship for nothing?!" would've been my response.
Cheaters will cheat. Let me tell you a story. Once, I said to hell with being a good person and FULLY DECIDED TO BE the side piece of an ex. A mistake that I'm ashamed to this day... some 27 years later.
I and this dude stayed together for 4 years. It started with me being his rebound girl (was unaware of). After a mouth, he went back to the ex but came after me during a bad time in my life until I gave in probably because I was a 21 years old virgin.
I truly loved him but this is not here or there because I was fully wrong and I admit to this. I just didn't care really.
When he got tired of me and just disappeared I later discovered I was not the only side piece he had.
The wife kept accepting him because "they mean nothing to me" and she thought he had side pieces but went back home to her every night (not wrong). He also had kids outside of his marriage.
All in all, he was my bf once and he wanted me to marry me... just one month after we started dating... just one week before he ended things with me and went back to her who I think he was back with before he broke up with me anyway.
So, he was a serial cheater. You can be as his wife and accept it because your love is enough.
Kind hypocritical, but looking back I understand that if I had accepted his proposal I'd be the one being cheated on.
By the end, people finding out their SO are cheating aholes before anything serious goes on is a bless in the long run if you don't want to deal with serial cheaters.
I was a young bride (married at 21) and I was a fresh Mormon. My MIL and GIL both decided I needed to have an "appropriate" dress for my wedding. I loved the strapless look, but was told that wasn't very "modest". I didn't have my own voice back then (I've been married for 14 years now) but I wish I would've just stood my ground and gotten the dress I truly wanted. Instead, I had sleeves sewn on and I hated them. They didn't look good at all but I put on that smile and just tried to go with the flow. Now my husband and I are exmo's and are considering saving our money for a wedding where we have the party we really wanted back then. Ladies, just stand your ground. Once that day comes, no one's face or opinion will stick in your mind except for your partner's. Everyone else be damned.
You are so right. My situation was different but since my dad was paying for the wedding, I got a dress that was on sale $182 instead of the one I really loved which was $450. It was to please my father by not spending much. I always wished I had gotten that beautiful one. BTW my dad was not poor by any means, he was a miser but spent money on things that interested him of course, like racing horses. So yeah get the dress.
I am so proud of the last woman standing 10 toes down on her decision. That was brave of her and an excellent example of choosing yourself first. First he cheated, then he kept it a secret, the whole family keeping that secret as well is just the icing on the cake. You deserve better. It wasn't a mistake it was a choice. There is a lot of thought that goes into cheating and a lot of preparation.
cheating is never a mistake, it's always a choice! Unless you have been drugged and then it's rape
I really hate how having sex, especially for boys/men is always framed as an accident. I don't care how strong your urges are, it is not an accident. I do think it's possible that he immediately realized it was stupid and he shouldn't have done it, and it didn't sound like he was justifying it, but his family was. His family should have just gotten out of the way. If he had immediately told her, then they probably could have worked through it and continued with the marriage eventually and probably with the help of therapy for both the trust and the poor stress management skills. But there is a lot of other nonsense tied up in it now that no one should blame her for it.
@@ThatOneLadyOverHereYou are correct. They family seemed to make things worse and they might have had a chance to work through it had he given it a chance.
Having said that, we all do things that we know may upset our partners and often keep them secret for the sake of the relationship. I suppose there is a line, but where?
In this case there were several red flags about the family dynamic in the story that maybe this couple is doomed anyway.
@Craig Burghardt I couldn't tell you where that line is because I am honest to a fault, unintentionally. 😆 Lying just doesn't make sense to me, so hiding something, no matter how small, doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Communication is key in a healthy relationship, so you don't hide things. Not shaming anyone for not doing that, but my marital advice is: communication. So it's pretty typical of me to say something like "he should have told her, would have solved everything." 😆
@@ThatOneLadyOverHere I totally agree. I actually have a rule, that I do my best to live by, to not do or say anything that I would need to hide or keep a secret. I also believe well over 90 percent of conflicts are due to a breakdown in communication.
Having said that, sometimes we can share too much and something trivial to us could mean something more to another person, aka a filter. So we need be empathetic in these times to balance the other person's emotional state with our need to share or be one hundred percent honest.
For example: In one of Charlotte's other videos, the bride-to-be asked for her finances honest opinion on her wedding dress. He gave a less than positive revie and she left crying to go to her mother's place. Even though she said she wanted honestly he should have read the room. She had been shopping for a dress a long time, had found and bought one and was so excited to show him, she put it on. Dude, read the room. Only one answer in that situation. So what if he honestly did not think it fit the theme of the wedding. Trivial to his bride-to-be's happiness and joy on their wedding day. How is she supposed to wear the dress now knowing his "honest" opinion? You can not return wedding dresses how is she supposed to fix it?
Honestly can be and, I would say, is a little over-rated. It needs be balanced with empathy.
Being "stressed" is no excuse to cheat. Planning a wedding is honestly one of least stressful ordeals a person will go through in life when compared to the monumental realities that are children, finances, extended family, illness, and marriage in general. If that guy was cheating due to the stress of picking out a venue and arrangements that they locked down in just a week (record timing, I might add), then imagine what he'll do when the going really gets tough.
RUN OP
And consider that must of the times, it is the bride that does most of it.
Actually… nearly any psychologist will tell you the three most stressful things in a persons lifetime are 1. Death of a loved one. 2. Moving house. 3. Planning a wedding / getting married. I’m certainly not condoning what the groom did, however it is a medical fact that planning a wedding can be a nightmare to your mental health. Bless
Exactly. It doesn't matter if he is stressed or if he regrets it. The fact he decide to deal with this stress with his ex instead of his fiance or family is enough. Imagine if something even more stressful or traumatic happens in the future, is he going to betray her like that again?
His family isn't good either. They really want her to marry their son but they are not treating her like family, very disrespectful how everyone is lowkey demanding her to forgive him. I wonder if they would say the same if she was the one that cheated, i bet they won't give a shit if she cheated and got into an accident.
His mum makes me even more furious, the way she keeps saying that OP took advantage of her and how she is trying to act like the victim.
@broomfider4699 yeah but yif you planning on getting married you experience those things with your partner.
Here is the thing. I think a lot you guys aren't asking the right question from a guys point of view. As a guy myself, I understand when other guys "deal with stress" it usually mean relieving sexual tensions. Unless his fiancé made him feel stressed and not relaxed, so he sought comfort in another. So it's either one or the other. The 2nd one would be actually understandable to an extent, not right to cheat, but it makes more sense than the first reason that many guys do... which is they just want have sex, but instead of going to their partner they cheat. That reason is just odd to me. Maybe they aren't sexually compatible, I don't know... all in all I think people get married for wrong reasons
That first story made me pause and my hubby and I had an hour long talk about how horrible it was; how could it get to that point? How much grooming was involved? How much trauma? How much therapy would be needed? Etc. Gave us a mental breakdown 🤣
So agree. They hid in a bathroom to do it, so clearly they know it's not socially acceptable, licentious behavior on her part, very concerning. I hope he gets help now that people know.
For real!!! I’m frigging aghast.
@@marlenef777 😂 I literally said that to my son. It's mind boggling, how that's even possible. The effort to hide it, and how could you possibly justify it. She has to have some kind of mental or personality disorder.
My brother compared the guy to Homelander from The Boys 😭
This is 💯 horrifying. I don't know if I could be able to go through with a wedding if I knew my MIL was doing that to my hubby to be. How selfish on the mother's part and who knows if it will continue after the wedding.
What if you guys have kids? Is she going to try to breast feed your babies too? MIL is a sick ticket.
That first story is absolutely horrifying...God, im having a difficult time with this information, can only imagine what bride went through.
Probably didnt happen
I literally choked on air
I can't stop wondering if his family knew? If so did they all in that family do stuff like that. Eww if they were clueless, how did his dad react?
Poor bride that would be horrible to announce why wedding was canceled. Hopefully it was canceled, because that is the most insane thing ever in the category of gross.
That guy that cheated made his choice to “prove” his loyalty the moment he decided to keep it all a secret.
*edit: cheating is not ok. In this instance unfortunately cheating did happen and so any further decisions shows where his heart truly lay. People have come back from cheating when communication and work is done. Not what happened here
The mom is gaslighting her
The moment he decided to play around with anyone other than the person he was in a relationship with. If you are even entraining the idea of different partners, it’s time to have a conversation with your current one. Be honest and forthcoming. Maybe they might like it, maybe it breaks you up. Regardless, better compatibility will come of it.
Yeah I was just thinking that I would believe it a little bit more if it was like the first thing you said to her after he was out of surgery. At this point it's just an excuse after he got found out.
i was thinking of how stressful it is to care for somone whos been through a car wreck... wonder if itll be ok if she cheats now...glad she called it off
Mom wanted to ‘absolve’ her son of his sins, and is now gaslighting and victim blaming OP to ‘absolve’ her of her’s. Run, girl. Just run. Ain’t no true love or loyalty here, just glass houses.
My mother told me she first got engaged to a very nice naval officer; this was on the US west coast. After they announced the engagement, his mom showed up from the east coast. She immediately started with telling my mom what all the wedding details would be, where they’d live, how she would live with them (especially when her son’s ship was out of the port), what the house furnishings would be, etc., etc.
My mother broke it off and shortly afterward met her future husband. I was born ten years later.
I shiver just thinking about it 😰
Last story, possibly the biggest red flag is that he went straight to his parents (possibly knowing what they'd say) and then used their "advice" as an excuse not to tell her. Now he can feel somewhat absolved of guilt and they are all complicit. I understand how she feels but she will look back and realise that no matter the context she went above and beyond for someone who broke her heart. She is well within her rights to just out with it and walk away to give herself some peace and time to heal.
Amen. She owed him nothing once she was told of the cheating. She is dodging a bullet.
It’s better than discovering this AFTER the wedding.
For that last one, I give all of the credit in the world to that girl for sticking around after the crash. She could have easily said "DEUCES. I'm out", but from the way her fiance's family sounds, they probably would have twisted things around to make HER look like the bad one if she had left. If I was her, I'd sell the apartment, and leave no forwarding address. Something tells me her wish to be left alone while she figures things out won't be respected if they know where she is.
Yes, I agree, sell the apartment, even if it's at a loss. They tried to use that to keep her bound to them.
I would've waited until he well enough to have a coherent conversation. I'm sorry, this car accident is not my doing and I'm sad you're hurt. But I'm hurting deeply for something you've done to me. I'm out and never coming back, I'll have your boxes outside the door. Your family can come get it and I'm moving away. I wouldn't be able to stick around that long. I wouldn't be able to hide my anger and pain. There wouldn't be any justifying either, because he was the one that broke the relationship apart, not the other way around.
Honestly I thought it was one of the saddest heartbreak stories.
@@daniellekendall6859 Agreed.
It's a lesson learned. He cheated on her. If he only wouldn't have done that, he would have been in that accident with a soon to be loving wife.
Too bad though. Hopefully he doesn't do it again.
The story about the husband being such a huge mama's boy and wanting to guilt the bride for not choosing the MIL decision on the dress...m I asked my 13 year old son what he thought if he was in that situation. "I would say I know you're my mom,but she's the one getting married and wearing that dress. It's her choosing and not me." I love him so much
My son is 14, and he said pretty much the same thing. He said, "I'd tell you that I think you and my fiancee need to talk, and maybe try to come to a compromise [like on a pattern or accessory or something]. But that if you can't, it's her dress, and her choice." How is it our CHILDREN can understand this, but these grown-ass men can't?? Oh. Right. Because they're not grown men. They're man-babies. 😑🙄
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@mariebelladonna437 Exactly.
You brought him up well
The second story...I would feel so betrayed. You pick out a dress, you're excited about it and then your fiance returns it behind your back?? Hell no. Not only does he place his mother's opinion over yours but he took something you paid for and returned it without asking. I wouldn't be able to trust him.
Exactly my thought! That's some manipulative treachery I wouldn't want to be caught up in. Imagine how much worse it could (did?) get?! 😵💫
Too darn right. The OP would never have a real say in her married life. MIL's opinion would be the only one that mattered. It would be a living hell.
I finished watching this video like 10 minutes ago and I'm still here, just staring at the screen, trying to recover from the story of the groom being breastfeed by his mother.
This is one of the most DISTURBING things I'll ever hear in my entire life, it's definitely a whole other level of creepyness never experienced before (and hopefully never again).
WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
😂
Thank you! We can’t bypass this as if it wasn’t THE CRAZIEST THING THAT WE’VE EVER HEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These stories can be made up. Some people just test their writing skills on theses sites and collect points for engagement on reddit.
@@anthill1510Not really cuz there are some mothers out there who genuinely manipulate their sons into being that way with them. It’s creepy as fuck but it does happen, unfortunately. And I will note that while it is unusual, a woman (or most any female mammal, for that matter) can continue to lactate long after their children have passed the age where they need it (some people say that that would be 2 years old). It takes a lot of effort and a tough schedule to keep it going but it is possible, seeing as we now have drugs, hormone altering medications and other procedures that allow a woman who is not pregnant to lactate. But still, grown ass men (and women, for that matter) should NOT still be breastfeeding from their mothers.
Maybe he just needed xtra energy 🍼
OMG! The groom and his mom?!?! I would immediately walk down the aisle and make the announcement that the wedding is off because "I just caught my ex-fiancé breastfeeding on his mother! The reception is still going to happen, as I am celebrating the fact that I just dodged a big bullet!!!" Oh, I would call him out BIG TIME!!!
I was thinking the same thing. Lol
Lmao oh I love that. And I would say she dodged a cannon ball, a missile, a NUKE!!! OMG I screamed.
Dude I would blast that out to the rest of the world! 😂😅 that is so freaking weird. I can’t imagine a scenario where they never realized how fricken weird it really was
@@Paige0_0 that’s why they hid it. They knew…
@@erikarussell1142 I wonder if it was.. like.. for freaky reasons
The wedding dress story...the worst part of the groom's behavior isn't even that he sided with his mom, but how he went about it: he just took the dress back without even speaking to his partner (term used sarcastically).
If she were to marry him, that's exactly how things would be the rest of their lives: they would make decisions, but if mom disapproved, he would just change them and his wife would not even be notified, much less asked her permission. I can see horrible things happening, from small things like changing their dinner plans to giant things like sabotaging her career because they think she should be at home like a good wife, keeping her from getting gynecologic care...these things tend to escalate...
Absolutely agree. This is setting the tone for the entire marriage. She's going to continue to control everything in your marriage.
The last response on the video was right on point.
And it is made even worse by the fact that the bride paid for the dress herself. He traded in something that he didn't pay for and had absolutely no legal right to. That is prettu much theft.
Yeah that marriage is going to be between three people and is destined for divorce if it goes ahead.
Yeah. That’s a red flag to end all red flags. It’s not just like “oh it’s just a wedding and then everything will be fine after. It almost NEVER gets better, only worse. That is going to be the entire relationship. I usually hate when people are like “he doesn’t buy you flowers? Dump him” or whatever but things like this are a HUGE deal.
My mom went with the dress that her MIL wanted instead of the one she wanted because she was trying so hard to please her and "go with the flow". My dad's parents didn't even come to the wedding and my mom spent years trying to make a woman, who hated all her daughters-in-law, love her. She has talked many times about how much she regrets not just getting the dress she wanted.
If your parents are still together? Maybe you could help your mom find another dream dress for their next anniversary or vow renewal? Find a seamstress who could create a gown similar to your mom's dream dress? Your mom's dream gown might be on some site that deals with repurposing or vintage wedding gowns. Even tracking down the dream gown and giving it to your mom would mean so much to your mom.
Maybe it's time to have the wedding she dreamt of? A dressmaker might be able to recreate the dress she still remembers.
@@CindersValeI didn't see your response. Yes, yes yes !!! Happy to be sharing the same boat with you.
It's really the groom's fault most- he's the AH for not sticking up for her, then does Mommy's dirty work! Everytime there's a conflict he won't have her back.
@@CindersVale , dude, watch the video. FIL passed, probably from the stressful home life he had.
She said, "Being breatfed by his mum". Charlotte's head snapped back like she was shot! 😆 🤣
Me too, thought I swallowed my eyes, we must both be Jewish women, I scream at my phone like he twin all night
I'm very concerned for the groom in story 1. That's some emotional incest and if she's been producing milk this whole time she's been GROOMING HIM SINCE HE WAS AN INFANT.
It’s not just emotional. It’s 100 % just incest. Emotional. Sexual. Physical. Weirdo-all
Agree, this goes beyond a normal relationship into dysfunctional and incest.
I don't think she was nursing him, per se. Just dry sucking.
Not incest
@@bridgwllthen what is
My ex got mugged, they hit him in the head with a pipe and his ear was hanging off, while we were leaving the hospital I found out he cheated, and that another women was at the hospital before I had got there, I stayed to help him heal and later found out he was cheating on me again. Show no mercy to cheaters bc circumstance has nothing to do with cheating ( in the case of them having some sort of freak accident)
Girls are raised to think they have to choose between being martyrs and being heartless selfish bitches, but cheaters don't deserve their thick-and-thin loyalty.
It's also so rude to the girl for the family to center his feelings of guilt and his desire for another chance over her right to the truth. She "should" forgive him? That's not his right to say what she should do.
The first story?!!! That was way worse than anything I imagined and then charlotte saying “mommy’s milkies” 🤣
Agreed I screamed so loud I scared my cat. Like what the actual fuck
hello everyone i don't know if i should tell you this but i am gonna, i am from north western India, and i have heard stories about a specific wedding tradition in our culture, where the groom has to be breastfeed by his mother for one last time before the wedding, as after the marriage represents the maturing of the groom, and as a sign of him turning into a man.
Ooooooohhhhhh. Myyyyyyyyy. Goodness. That's disgusting
@@rahulmeenaofficial oh my gosh!! Which state is it?
@@rahulmeenaofficial oh that is interesting - however how is the mother still producing milk? as that only happens when she has a kid? or are the boys being married off so early and the mothers still having babies so late? or is it normal to breastfeed until marriage age? lots of questions, sorry.
Story 2. Um, what wedding shop lets you return a wedding dress? I’ve never heard of any.
I had gone to many bridal stores before my wedding to find a dress that I loved but could afford to buy without success, I fell in love with one dress but it was out of my budget. During the afternoon the bridal shop called me at work to say that the dress I loved had been paid for in full and was waiting for me to collect. My husband had called the shop to ask if there was a particular dress that I wanted so they told him, he paid in full for the dress for me 🥰
Aww you have a great man who prioritises your happiness
Awww... great man. Wishing you nothing but happiness.
That's love ❤
That’s a good man.
My husband also footed the bill for my dress when he found out I was going to settle because I didn’t want to spend the money. And no, it wasn’t outrageously expensive! I had just been brought up in a very modest Mormon home where the belief was you sew your own dress and you don’t spend money on things like receptions lol. Even though I left the religion long ago, the guilt of splurging on myself remained.
About the wedding dress one: even IF she was ok trying out the other dress, its a MASSIVE red flag that hed try to force it on her. Taking the dress SHE bought with HER money back to the store and replacing it without consulting her is astounding. You could make a sail out of that red flag right there. Obvious signs of gaslighting and narcissism. He holds himself and his mother at a higher value than his fiancee
I can't even understand how he could do it because the receipt is on her name right? The store did her wrong too.
@@Willowy13 that doesn't matter at all, actually. Sad but true. They don't look at the name on the receipt, because many items are gifts. And if he came in with her in the first place they would probably assume she was on board with the dress change. (I haven't watched the video in a while so I could be wrong)
I liked the comment she read out about leaving him and he and his mom could carry on planning their dream wedding without a bride.
I really hope that women called off the wedding! Because those are some major major red flags!!!
Tell your fiancé that his mother can pick your dress if you can pick what she wears for your wedding and agrees to NEVER again interfere in the decisions you make as a couple. Then go to a goodwill shop and pick out the worst thing you have ever seen for her to wear and explain that that was how the dress she picked made you feel, crummy. I was married to a chap like that and it doesn’t end once the ring is on your finger. As Princess Diana said “there were 3 people in her marriage, it was too crowded to work”. Some women???
As someone who got a divorce a month after the wedding because of the momma drama, I’m advising the girl from the second story to RUN!!! You are not married to 1 person, you are married to 2 people ( your hopefully ex-fiancé and his mom), you are not a person rather an extension of them who is only there to be subjected to their wants/needs/tantrums … again RUN!
Almost every one of these stories prompts the same reaction, "Do NOT marry into that family!"
I’ve seen so many stories like the one with the groom still breastfeeding. I saw one where AFTER the wedding, the groom asked if he could bring his mom on their HONEYMOON because she was still breastfeeding him. The bride ended up getting an annulment.
omg, what the hell is wrong with people.
@@TheHestya I have no idea. Reading stories like that, I lose my faith in humanity.
The f*ck?!!!
Is this from some certain culture or cultural tradition somewhere on the planet?? Like she says here this is one of the most messed up things I've ever heard of.
@@LindaRedmond-uk4rm I have no idea if it is or not. I can’t think of any where this is a thing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t somewhere. I’m pretty sure that biologically speaking, it’s pretty uncommon for a person to still be breastfeeding into adulthood because women tend to lose the ability to breastfeed when they hit menopause. I’m not 100% sure on that fact though.
The fact that no one thinks it’s over when it’s clear she’s really hurt and doesn’t want the relationship anymore is so frustrating on top of all the other emotions. That would be enough for me personally to cut it off immediately. Everyone’s doubt in what I know is right would piss me off so bad. She definitely needs to walk because of his family too. They’ll never be honest with her as family if they did that to her.
I also dont understand how her parents can just say "You'll get together again soon anyway" like, for me its not even the problem they believe it but that they dont do anything to encourage her to really break it off. If you find out your childs fiance cheated on them (or generelly hurt them to the point they dont want to marry the fiance) then you encourage her to break it off, tell her she's right in doing so and tell her she doesnt need to feel bad about it because HE'S the one who's at fault.
Yes!! And it only came to light because his religious mother was scared for his soul! If he never got in that accident, she would’ve gotten married to him based on a happy facade! I hope she holds her ground because she should not be with him
Not only would I call the wedding off if I caught my fiance being breastfed, I would also scream and shout and tell EVERYONE at the wedding so they would understand and we could turn it into a farewell party instead.
I would be too ashamed to tell anyone…just horrible! 🙈 and if you ask me, there’s nothing about mother-son love in that. At that age it’s sexual.
Still vomiting ,🤢🤮
@@luciatat4084 It's literally incest.
@@luciatat4084 I would not be. That is so appalling, horrifying, and disgusting to hear and to envision that it would be reason enough to call off the wedding right then and there and tell everyone why, as well.
I've seen these kind of breastfeeding videos on the hub. I'd honestly wonder if it'd be something like that and be very concerned about s.a. going on
The visceral reaction charlotte had to the 1st story was spot on
The wedding dress return one: The issue is SO NOT about the dress. The issue is about the abuse being poured onto the pre-bride by the pre-mother-in-law and fiancé! Omg, the screaming reaction of the pre-bride was her spirit spewing out red flags! Her screaming was a healthy reaction to the abuse and the shocking realization of being in horrible danger!
As well as pressure from her own Father to "keep the peace"
Yesssss!!! You said it!!!!
As a licensed marriage and family therapist I think you said something really important on the last story: it's her relationship. We can easily sit outside and judge because we're not emotionally connected. On the first story though and the dress one, RUN!!!
What is the cut off point then?
But she already said that for her it was over the moment she found out. It's the fact that nobody treats it as if it's over and his injury are basically guilt trippong her. Shouldn't this woman get encouragement to do what she feels is right when nobody else supports her? They're not even married yet, they have no children, what's to save here? He's fine, he's recovering, she shouldn't be guiltied into giving it a chance.
@SingingCrowie I agree with you, but I wanted to know at what point a therapist says it's enough from an outside perspective. It seems like, and I may be wrong, that some therapists hear someone say one person is done in a relationship, but the therapist says to give the relationship another go. Of course, my opinion is just based on what has happened with me.
@@mskurolove yes, my comment was intended at the original poster. I understand your point and I think it's a good point. I feel like a therapist shouldn't be encouraging another go for a relationship when one person says they are done, especially if this is not couple's therapy where both partners decided to work on it. Rather, the therapist should ask questions to help you navigate your feelings and come to your own conclusion. I too go to a relationship therapist with my partner, and I feel like this is what she is doing for us. At the end of the day it is true that it is their relationship and their decision. But I feel like it's wrong to outright encourage someone to give a relationship a second chance when they are expressing they are done, especially after a significant breach of trust like cheating. It feels like a therapist wouldn't have the best interest of the client at heart but instead projecting some of their own views. In the post I didn't see the OP doubting her decision really, more like she was doubting if her feelings are valid because everyone seemed to invalidate them. Especially the manipulative MIL, oh my gosh. So I think in this case it's more helpful to validate her feelings and help her be her own person.
@@SingingCrowie that's a refreshing reply. Thank you for saying so.
My son just got married last Friday. This is what mother in laws do: show up, hug everyone, smile and wish the new couple the best!
#1 Puts a whole new meaning to “ The last supper “
lmao
11:58 Perfect question! “Ok, so what about YOU?” To me this woman has been extremely compassionate to a *friend* (her fiancé, to whom she no longer wants to marry) in a terrible spot but that responsibility to be an encouragement CANNOT extend to obligating her to MARRY someone who (recently) cheated on her. This isn’t her “punishing him” it’s her taking care of herself. Actions have consequences!!
For the MIL wedding dress one, I actually broke off an engagement for almost the same reason. Wasn't a dress, just that my fiance kept putting his mother before everything and the closer and closer we got to the wedding the more and more I noticed. I asked him who was more important me or his mother and he said her, I said what about when we have kids, who'll be more important, he said his mother again...I broke it off right there. If a man still thinks his mother is the most important thing in the world he's not mature enough to get married
Itshould be everyone as important as the other. The mom came before you. But that said, there should be a healthy relationship there between his mom and him and not let his mom be a monster in law.
I wish I had done this. There were so many MIL red flags. We ended up divorced.
See I get it if a man respects his mother and loves her, but man some of these men are freaky😮 this guy is marrying a woman not his mother
My husband holds his mother in very high respect and it is quite nice to see.
It's a good thing for men to respect their moms (if their mom is a good person and didn't abuse them or something), but while my husband has respect for her, he has respect for me, too. It's a different kind of respect, the same way it's a different kind of love. It's great for a man to love his mom and want his mother to be involved, but the mother does not get the final say. My husband and I never had a wedding ceremony, but we both made it very clear when we do where we draw our lines and boundaries when it come to anyone else being involved in our relationship.
called emotional incest
My grandma chose my moms weddingdress and she hated it so much, she let it rot in the basement and then threw it out right in front of my grandma. She regretted it so much to have listened to her mother in law in this matter. (My dad apparently told her back then, that my mom should not listen to his mother, because she is a mean and treacherous person.) So moral of the story is to not let your in-laws decide your wedding dress.
Oh, she made her wear it because she knew she would look bad in it!? How awful…
@@erikarussell1142 where did they write this?
My MIL picked out my engagement ring - it wasn’t one I told him I wanted - and I hated every day that stupid symbol of his mom-love.
My friends own mother did the same to my friend. And that’s exactly what happened to her wedding dress…and the marriage…and her mother. She got rid of all of them and is super happy now! 😊
@@ClakyNotReversed it’s implied at the end of their story.
The story with the mother in law with the “vision” is absolutely insane. If that is about the dress, imagine if they have children?!? I wouldn’t walk away from him. I would run.
Seeing the groom with his mom, it would be like a light switch, the love would die right there.
When my wife and I announced our engagement, the family was so excited that they all were all throwing out ideas. Wife said. I want to say something, and I will only say this once. My sister just had her wedding destroyed by her mother in law and "well-meaning" friends. It was nothing she wanted, and no one listened to her. This is my day. Not yours. It's not your do over because you didn't get what you wanted because someone used your wedding as their do over. If you can not accept that, I will say. Thank you for your help and input. Because I am grateful. But I will see you at the reception. This means you are still welcome to come. But if you can't understand this is my wedding and not your do over, you don't get to help.
Great woman!
We do love to see it. Love this for her.
Curious to know how that message was received lol
Smart woman. Lay down the law right at the start. 😊
@KDVP92 The family was a little flabbergasted at first. Then my dad got up. Gave her a hug and told her. Good for you.
I’m just so glad for the fact that these brides find out all this BEFORE the wedding. Imagine finding out these severe issues your partner has after being married. 😮
Well, you asked “how do you come back from that?” I think there was probably some arrangement for him to DO JUST THAT(bada bing bada boom)❤😮😂😂😂
I feel like, with the last story, if you find you can't trust him anymore then it's very very hard to come back from that. You'll be second guessing yourself every time he does something that seems off or different and you'll never be happy living with that mentality constantly. It would be exhausting and not worth it.
when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, I cheated emotionally on my bf and my parents called me out. Told me I was cheating and I needed to break up with my current bf if I wanted to date the other boy so bad. I did exactly that.
Any parent that doesn't call out their kids when they cheat and tell them to come clean is failing.
I hate that “you should give me a chance to prove myself and my loyalty.” Um, that chance was the entire relationship. You proved your loyalty until you didn’t, it’s as simple as that. And this poor woman has everyone in her life telling her how she should feel. People need to leave her alone and accept her decision.
Nope. These people can't tell her how she's supposed to feel. I bet they'd be quiet if they had the same thing happening to them.
My thoughts exactly!
Let the ex he cheated with come and help him hobble to the bathroom.
My DIL is one of my best friends!!! Her & I are super close. In the beginning, she would call me & ask my opinion... I KEEP IT TO MYSELF!!! Acouple times my son was wrong but I STAYED OUT OF IT!!! Its been 14 years & 3 grandchildren. She IS the best thing that has ever happened to my son. I'm so blessed
Take it from someone who's mil was overbearing and terrible, it never ends. This woman tried her best to break us up from day 1. It got worse after I had a child. Threw a fit if outfits she bought weren't worn, holidays had to be spent with her. She stopped speaking to my husband for weeks because I didn't want my child christened Catholic because I wasn't Catholic. Told her family I was a secret crackhead. I finally had to ban her from my home and all parties. Had to wait 17 years for her to die. When you say "I do" your vowing to spend a lot of your life with more than just your husband. Keep that in mind.
This is one of the reasons I want to remain single. I don't want in-laws all over my home. I don't want to be bothered with them. They're almost always annoying and want more than your own family does. I love to be single and stress free.
@@tisha4lives it always depends. My in-laws are awesome. They are some of the most fun people I’ve ever known. They take us on bar crawls with them and offer to watch our son so we can go out on vacation.
Nah why did "I had to wait 17 years for her to die" make me cackle like an idoiot 😂
@@indeeditiscirro that’s some slow burn revenge shit right there lol
Me for all of the stories: girl, run!
The first story was absolutely wild but the last two really struck me.
Having just got out of a really toxic situation myself, I can really see the effects that those story’s show on the brides’ self esteem.
The grooms blatantly show such a lack of respect and the people they hurt are wondering if they’re the problem. It sucks so much.
I hope they managed to free themselves.
💕
I've also run into the breastfeeding by mom thing. In this particular case, the bride unfortunately found out after the wedding, during the honeymoon - which the groom's mom also joined against the bride's wishes (obviously). The marriage was annulled thankfully.
A honeymoon is for newlyweds only if the M.I.L comes it's a vacation with mama and mama's boy sounds great....
🤢🤮
Wow, i can't believe she came to the honeymoon...How weird is that...?
Gross, just incest.
Smart move.
0:56 Charlotte, I actually dropped my phone when that dropped
Can only repeat myself on the cheating: It's not "one mistake". There's multiple steps between meeting someone and ending up having intercourse. It's easy to be remorseful AFTER it happened and finding any/every excuse AFTER they cheated. It's people's choice to continue these relationships but at least take some time for yourself like the last OP said. Question wether you're really willing to let it pass or if it'll be a lingering thought tormenting you constantly every time they don't pick up the phone.
That aside the last OP, imho, also realised that this is his family that won't look out for her. Covering up his cheating and enabling his entitlement to forgiveness and wanting to further pressure her. Really sad since it seems like her parents aren't really looking out for her either. Hopefully she can find some solace within herself and clear the emotional mess these people put on her, maybe at least her friends are focused on her well being.
Right? People act like you were just strolling along naked and accidently put your genitals on someone else's genitals. It takes time, and at least a little planning, to fuck someone discreetly.
My mom is currently like this!! My father's family sided with his cheating a**!! And really made my mother the villian..
I hate we have no divorce laws in my country...
What gets me is the "it meant nothing!" So why did you do it if it meant nothing? It means something to me to be cheated on....
Agreed. It not like he took one misstep and fell into another woman's vagina. Then he made to decision to cover his a.. and keep it a secret from his fiancé. He completely disregarded her in EVERY way. Then he went to his family, full well knowing they would support his decision and "confessed" to soothe his guilt. He is toxic AF and you can see where he got it from in his mother's complete disregard for her feelings when she told her, at a time that was already an overwhelmed situation. She was worried about her son's eternal damnation at that moment. Yet she was not worried about a couple of months before that when she advised him to just hide it? To Hell with your feelings at that time. Just, here have another problem to deal with so that SHE could clear her conscience for her craptastic advice to her son that might send him straight to the fiery pits of Hell?
Yeah the way the mom keeps saying she’s “disappointed” or that OP is “taking advantage”. Red flag.
Anyone else think the MIL in the dress story picked a dress that looks similar to her own past wedding dress? Husband is gone, son is only child. Wouldn't be the 1st story I've seen where she views her son as a replacement for her own spouse. I'd play like to see her old wedding photos.
Last story: I'd tell his mother that, if she wants to be disappointed in someone, she needs to look at her son. She doesn't have the right to judge OP for her (very justified) response to his epic betrayal.
I knew a kid in college that thought drinking breast milk from his mother was perfectly normal. He must have been 19, and asked why we don’t breastfeed until marriage so another kid said “because drinking your moms milk is gross” and this 19yr old answered back “not if it’s straight from the tap because then it’s sanitary.” 😮 later on we found out his mom was basically a new age hippie and had thirteen children that were all currently breastfed and ages 2 to 23.
🤢🤮🤮
Sheesh! Some women need to chill!
That is abuse. That is socially and emotionally crippling your kids so they need you. It's a form of narcissism.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 agreed. You do get "late" breast feeding (until about 5 years) in certain African tribes. But it serves the purpose of helping with immune system in environments where infant de@th rates can be quite high. But even there they get cut off at school going age.
@@moonhunter9993 lol where do u guys get this infor ???
There is a fine line between loving your mom and being in love with your mom!!!!!
Words to live by from my dad: If someone can do it once, that means they can (and will) do it again.
not necessarily true
BS. People are likely to do things, if they are following patterns, that they are unaware of, or are, but purposely choose to continue, for their gain.
Its simplistic, and not true what ur dad said.
I find it just lazy and judgemental to base opinions on triusms like that.
I found that out first hand- once a cheater always a cheater
The truth hurts, we all know, but just accept it @@KGG2
@@AC-dwgif you keep running away from the truth, than you'll be running all your life
Story three makes my heart hurt because what a low threshold to cheat. Instead of supporting her or doing his fair share so there was less stress, he decides to hurt her in the worst way imaginable. That level of selfishness is definitely in other areas of the relationship too. I hope she's free of him and his entire family.
If cheating because he’s stressed about the marriage is his go to plan, I can already assume he’ll cheat when she’s stressed from having kids or he’s stressed from work.
@@roygbiv9038 Exactly what I was thinking. No marriage is completely stress-free, and if cheating is his go-to over being stressed, then he'll cheat again. She needs to walk away.
I doubt it was stress. A lot of people have second-thoughts when they get married because they see it as a definitive choice. You can't choose anymore; that door will get closed, so I think they probably start wondering if there isn't something better out there, if they're making the best/right choice. I heard many stories of people cheating with one of their exes just before getting married. It's probably some type of commitment anxiety. They start imagining some best version of some ex that got away. It's probably a sign of being unsure in the relationship.
I agree with everything here but there's one thing that you guys didn't mention, that I feel deserves a mention - how he and his mom made it sound like she still got to share a part of the blame for his infidelity and "breaking his spirits".
"You were stressed and stressing him out"
"Please don't take advantage of my (MIL) desperation due to which I told you about his infidelity behind his back, and punish him and kill his spirit"
Despite all this, OP was being very nice and staying with him for most of his recovery. Like you all said here, if OP goes through with marriage, during stressful situations in their married life, he's not only going to cheat on her, but will also just end up telling his momma about it. Why? His momma has proved to him that she will nicely choose a time where he is at OP's mercy to tell OP about the cheating, like she did here. She will also not forget to shift some of the blame on OP.
"The kids were stressing him out, while you got to go out for a mom break with your friends"
"Please don't take advantage of my desperation and tell him about it. Why do you want your children to grow up fatherless?"
I work as a 911 dispatcher and I can't tell you how stressful this job can be. I had a video come up as suggested and I am so glad I found them! Your reactions and witty comments are so hilarious! Yesterday was one of those really close to-crying days but I took a moment and played one of your bridezilla videos and I was laughing and gasping in shock just like anyone at the stories. Thank You for just making me laugh and being able to distress you are awesome. 🙂🙏💙
Thank you for the work you do. ♥
Thank YOU!
I always give interesting calls to people in general...
I'm not sure if I called non-emergency...
I told the dispatcher something like this'
So... I saw a couple's vehicle stall in front of my house. I yelled over that I would help by getting the emergency jumper starter inside the house.
I come back and they are gone. They took this van and popped out the key ignition.
But the best part was... "Ah.. umm... i am not sure why this lady wore hot pink pants while stealing a vehicle......."
Humans do some strange things....
Another phone call was to the insurance company when I got into a car accident...
I told the story of what happened... At the end of the story (there was a lot of craziness in between) I went to get the information from the man that owned the car. I said his gf and him are a cute couple.
Then... He asked me to sleep with him 😑
Bless you! ❤️ I can't imagine dealing with those phone calls all day.
I don’t normally have a physical reaction to videos but this first story made my jaw actually drop
Last story... The "soon to be hubby". A relationship boils down to trust and respect... Simple TRUST and RESPECT. He cheated... Trust is broken and there is no respect... No excuses. Might be able to regain some trust but the respect is not there. Plus complete trust is gone. Walk away pure and simple. Respect YOURSELF.
In the last story he told her to give him a chance to prove his loyalty, i think what he did already proved how disloyal he was. I'm glad she didn't give in and get into a marriage where she'll be questioning his fidelity during the stresses of life.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
The girl whose fiance exchanged the dress for the one his mother wanted: the combo of her dad advised her to be a doormat and her asking if she's the AH for standing up for herself tells me she grew up in an abusive home and sees love where there is none and her judgment has been compromised by the very people that were supposed to have her back. Poor girl, I hope she will be able to figure out, she has a lot of damage to undo she likely doesn't even recognize as damage yet. So tragic. I hope I'm wrong
Exactly. Dad is on par with husband. How the store aallowed this exchange when the bride who paid for the dress was not present is a mystery.
I noticed this : nobody seems to have her back.
Sounds like her dad has been unfaithful to her mom and obviously thinks it's no big deal. Because, again obviously, his wife stayed.
Her mom seemed to have her back
*My father-in-law tried talking my hubby out of marrying me the night before our wedding!!!* My hubby told him that he loved me, and that they needed to stop treating me like garbage!
My hubby and I have been married for *6 years,* and we’re _still_ in the honeymoon phase! 🥰❤️ We’ve never had a fight, and I love every minute with him!!! 😁 *I LOVE MY HUBBY!!!* 🥰😘❤️❤️❤️
Wow, what was his reason for not liking you?
@@houseofschenck6230 his parents *both* said I didn’t deserve him. 😐
It took me at least 4 years to be comfortable around them, and now they like me more than their other daughter-in-law!
I'm glad they came around eventually!
@@houseofschenck6230 thank you 😊❤️
Man, for the guy who cheated and was in the accident - HIS ENTIRE FAMILY KNEW. And none of them told her, and all of them expected her to just accept it if she ever did find out. And when his mom told her, she then tried to guilt her into accepting it and keeping the relationship going? No. The relationship ended the minute her son 'got stressed out' and cheated. And the OP should be mad at his entire family as well for both accepting this, endorsing it, and keeping it from her. The entire family should be removed from her life, yikes.
The second bride needs to do a Ross from Friends 'my saandwichhhhh' and resoundingly shout 'My wedding dress! '
These stories brought back the stress! My fiance's mother was a pushy, controlling B, and his whole family treated me like an accessory. I was the least important in the room at all times, and he rarely stood up for me. In a way, I'm glad so much BS happened while we were still engaged. Realized I couldn't possibly live like that the rest of my life, and worse if we had kids. There were other issues too, so I ended the relationship. It was not a fun time, but was 💯 the right decision. My only regret is that I didn't leave sooner.
Gloria, I'm so glad to hear that you left the situation you described with your fiancé. I hope more young people will examine their relationships for what they are and leave when necessary. Yes, it hurts at the time, but you have to take care of yourself... it's your job! Light and love to you! 💋
@@mistresskate9799 Thank you. I was still young when I was in that relationship. I have since evolved into someone who would never put up with the same crap. 😎
Last story:
His excuses was he was stressed, things were getting hard, etc. *DUDE* THIS IS LIFE! So, what, are you going to cheat again every time you're stressed _during_ the marriage or when things get hard?
*no excuses.*
That was my thing! Life doesn’t stop being stressful when you get married! Also, notice he told his mother his fiancé was stressing him out. Trying to blame her for his behavior much?
Exactly my thought!! Poor baby boy was stressed and it was her fault. 😡
This! I mean, just imagine if she ever got pregnant.
So grateful for my MIL! She was so paranoid about becoming an overbearing MIL for her only child, that she gave us so much space. And she was so supportive about everything at our wedding, especially when she was invited to pick my dress. She has become my second mom! Feel so bad for these ladies.
He kills me when people who cheat say "it didn't mean anything". If I was cheated on and my husband told me that, I would respond "well it means something to me!"
For the story where the groom forced the bride to wear the wedding dress his mom picked out; if he’s being like that for the wedding/dress can you imagine all the other drama regarding him being a Mama’s boy that the poor bride potentially had to deal with? I love a man who can respect and love his family but at the same time there is a point where it’s just taken too far.
Sounds like a marriage between a man and his mom... with some extra lady hanging around as decoration.
The fact that the woman and the wedding dress issue hasn't mentioned that she cancelled the wedding it's giving desperation for marriage.
Is he the groom from the first story? Sounds like it... LOL
With the way how attached to his mother he appears to be, it could be that he's the guy from the first story.
@@kross6057 I just wrote the same and then scrolled down to the same comments. Great mind think alike. 😄
The guy who switched the dresses was not only not standing with his soon to be wife but he was actively going against her wishes and was gaslighting her afterwards. There is only one solution: end this now! There will be no room for her in this relationship, not for her wishes or her needs. And remember, it will only become worse when married. In the beginning everyone presents their best self.