I’m his wife, not his mother. / Squirmy and Grubs

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  • Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
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    Squirmy and Grubs share the false assumptions people make about them, and what they wish people would better understand.
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    The giveaway is free to enter and it is in no way sponsored, endorsed by, or affiliated with UA-cam.
    Hannah and I absolutely love making videos for you. If you would like to support our work so that we can continue sharing our life and relationship with you for years to come, you can do so on our Patreon: / squirmyandgrubs
    Thank you to our Advocacy Partners on Patreon:
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    MORE INFO ABOUT US AND OUR CHANNEL:
    Follow us on Instagram at:
    Shane: / shaneburcaw
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    Our address:
    Squirmy and Grubs
    PO Box 16411
    Minneapolis, MN 55416
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    Intro animation made by Pinkietoons! Check out her Instagram page to see more of her awesome work: / pinkietoons
    Intro jingle made by Caitlin Kalafus! Check out her Instagram page to see more of her awesome work: / caitlinkalafus
    Shane Burcaw (he/him) is the author of several award-winning books about disability. He is the President of a nonprofit organization called Laughing At My Nightmare, and a renowned public speaker who has performed across the country at places such as Harvard University, The University of Florida, The University of Connecticut, Princeton University, and many more.
    Hannah Burcaw (she/her) graduated from Carleton College, where she studied Sociology and Anthropology. She films and edits the “Squirmy and Grubs” vlog, which has over 800,000 subscribers on UA-cam. Hannah has spoken at prestigious universities and Fortune 500 companies alike about the realities of ableism. On her popular Instagram account, she advocates for acceptance of all people and works to improve the way society thinks about disability.
    Shane and Hannah have been together for over four years. They got married in September of 2020 in the midst of a global pandemic in their backyard, with their officiant conducting the ceremony via Zoom. Their interabled relationship often confuses people, because much of society still cannot fathom people with disabilities being involved in loving, intimate relationships. Anyone who watches these episodes will quickly see their relationship is just as “normal” as any other. Sure, Hannah helps Shane use the bathroom and brush his teeth, but those activities do not detract from the emotional, intellectual, and physical connection they experience together.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @bennelson8035
    @bennelson8035 2 роки тому +959

    Shane, I am a fifteen year old who has SMA Type 2. Everything that you said in this video really resonates with me. I just wanted to thank you for showing me that I am not the only person who struggles with this. Have a great day.

    • @candicayton8322
      @candicayton8322 2 роки тому +23

      You sound like a really great person. I don't know much about SMA 2 or what SMA Shane has but I would like to learn more about it. Your amazing and my hat goes off to you.

    • @bridgetfredericks8332
      @bridgetfredericks8332 2 роки тому +33

      Oh Ben.....your comment brought tears to my eyes.........I am so happy that you are connecting, whether virtually with Shane, or others with your physical disability. You are young, smart & I know you can take on anything life brings your way! Some days I'm sure are hard....but promise to be your true, authentic & wonderful self and think positive thoughts and then act on them....God Bless!

    • @erikashears9868
      @erikashears9868 2 роки тому +10

      Hey Ben i am so glad you have Shane as a role model!
      You can write your own story and live a great life for filled and happy as long as you except nothing less!!!!

    • @duchenne_md6736
      @duchenne_md6736 2 роки тому +14

      I agree 100%, I have duchenne muscular dystrophy. I also felt like I was the only one with this problem. People talk to me like I’m dumb or something. It makes me feel like $hit when people assume.

    • @probablynicole6090
      @probablynicole6090 2 роки тому +6

      God bless you! You are so loved and not alone 💗

  • @Ktd1013
    @Ktd1013 2 роки тому +588

    I love that Shane’s message is “please just talk to me like a normal person” and Hannah’s message is “please don’t expect me to talk to you like a normal person”
    😂😂😂😂 I can definitely relate to you, Hannah. I’m just not very good with human interaction. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @julialucas1482
      @julialucas1482 2 роки тому +13

      Good observation.

    • @lc4life369
      @lc4life369 2 роки тому +13

      Lol I didn't even put it together like that but kinda funny now that you pointed it out. I'm very much like Hannah. I do like people but it's too nurvewracking to be akward so I avoid people these days. Other than family. I could talk any of my siblings ears off.

    • @emilyabbey5761
      @emilyabbey5761 2 роки тому +4

      Opposites attract ❤️❤️

    • @shannonhensley2942
      @shannonhensley2942 2 роки тому +8

      Especially since its Shane's whole job. You can tell just by watching these videos he really does love to talk and make jokes. He made it the center of his life to make sure he gets the oppurtunity to talk to people and has so much to say. However talking to people technically is not really apart of Hannah's job. Yes she talks to a camera but its definitely not public speaking.

    • @Asdfgqedfglo
      @Asdfgqedfglo 2 роки тому +1

      👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @jasmineleopard7593
    @jasmineleopard7593 2 роки тому +326

    I’m going to be honest. I have had a thought process similar to the chapstick one before and I was sitting here trying to justify it in my mind. “Well I meant it like this..”. But no. I am wrong. You’re absolutely right that it is ridiculous to assume Hannah would just do tasks for Shane that he didn’t even need or ask for. I’m sorry for ever thinking that. I’ll do better

    • @4WhatItsWorth
      @4WhatItsWorth 2 роки тому +52

      The thing I love about this channel is we've ALL had moments of realisation watching their journey. I have had my own (not about this issue but other things early on with the first video I watched- I realised how much of my understanding of disability was completely wrong). Well done for recognising it and growing from it :)

    • @Yooperskepticz
      @Yooperskepticz 2 роки тому +24

      Yep, I think a lot of us learn about disabilities and relating to people with disabilities from Shane and Hannah. In addition to how fun, funny, relatabke, and entertaining they are, they are also educating.

    • @jq6540
      @jq6540 2 роки тому +25

      You make a great point! My husband would flip out if I just suddenly started putting chapstick on him. This is educational. I agree.

    • @linmonPIE
      @linmonPIE 2 роки тому +15

      This is why their channel is so important. We’re all learning here. It’s great that you’re a person who can learn from and admit their mistakes. We need more people like you ❤️

    • @loon3111
      @loon3111 2 роки тому +7

      I had the same thought and now I feel like an idiot. Thanks for the change in persepctive.

  • @maddyv3121
    @maddyv3121 2 роки тому +195

    My friend was in a wheelchair due to cancer. She said the worst thing was nobody would look her in the eye or would ask the person with her a question about her. When this happened while I was with her, I told them, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask her”.

    • @lynhanna917
      @lynhanna917 2 роки тому +24

      Good for you - when I was a kid I went to a dance with friends one of which walked with crutches, I didn't want to dance so I held her crutches. We laughed so hard when the boys would ask her to dance, ignoring me, and up she would go, grabbing her crutches on her way to the dance floor.

    • @ih82r8
      @ih82r8 2 роки тому +10

      You know what, people are damned if they do and damned if they don't. I had a family member who was severely disabled from birth to the point where he was blind and never able to talk. If you tried to talk to him there would be no response and we would have to explain it to the person. Every. Single. Time. because people don't know everything or always know what to expect.
      But in 2021, if you don't speak to someone who you aren't immediately sure can hear or understand or respond to you, then you get called out by internet trolls for being insensitive. I've been around disability my whole life and I don't believe that people who have less experience need to be treated with the attitude I see from so many people in this comments section. It makes them more unlikely to engage with disabled people. People are not always going to get it right. I remember many times as a kid having to explain to someone who didn't know us, what to expect (or not) from our interactions. It wasn't a big deal or something to get butt hurt over.

    • @shannonhensley2942
      @shannonhensley2942 2 роки тому +14

      @@ih82r8 the difference here is that the person with the disability gets to have a say in the interaction. I can definitely understand how you can feel that way in your life. But those with autonomy and the ability to interact in a situation deserve to feel however way they do. The majority feel left out and if they say they feel left out maybe we should listen. I had a best friend who was older than me but only 4'7" and having to explain that she's an adult is exhausting. But I'm also not with her 24/7 and know that she still has to experience that without me there. So I still do it because she deserves to be treated like the adult that she is.

    • @pinklilac7
      @pinklilac7 2 роки тому +4

      Sadly this happens in a variety of situations. I remember going with my mom to a drs appt and because she is older and her back is curved (this could actually be either based on age or disability) the dr had a tendency to turn towards me to ask questions. I did the same thing....."How about asking her. She's sitting right there" Frustrating.

    • @kamelhaj6850
      @kamelhaj6850 2 роки тому

      @@lynhanna917 Love it!!

  • @cherrylovell404
    @cherrylovell404 2 роки тому +196

    I am in an interabled relationship as well. I am a wheelchair using, quadruple amputee, that also has Multiple Sclerosis. Something that my husband and I encounter entirely too often is, people who compliment my husband with "You are such a great person for being in a relationship with her", "It's beautiful that you are able to see past her exterior...." or my personal favorite, "She is so lucky to have found someone that can love her in spite of...". As if being with me or loving me, somehow, is some kind of insurmountable feat! What about him being the lucky one to have found me?? It's incredibly frustrating for us and significantly shallow of them.

    • @alicjagodlewska1059
      @alicjagodlewska1059 2 роки тому +14

      Well, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a disabled person because of the physical aspect. I left my job in care as it was too hard and my back was hurting me all the time. When you are physically exhausted you can’t see past the health problems. You just want to rest. Good job some people are strong but I understand those who are not like me.

    • @sueperdue184
      @sueperdue184 2 роки тому +25

      @@alicjagodlewska1059 this was a weird comment. Sorry you have physical limitations.

    • @alicjagodlewska1059
      @alicjagodlewska1059 2 роки тому +11

      Don’t be sorry 🤣🤣 You don’t have to. No, it wasn’t weird comment - it was honest comment.

    • @sebastianconstantin5176
      @sebastianconstantin5176 2 роки тому +10

      @@alicjagodlewska1059 glad to see somebody who isnt afraid to say the truth cause all theyr delusional fans would jump on you.

    • @alicjagodlewska1059
      @alicjagodlewska1059 2 роки тому +4

      @Sebastian I have looked after people for 10 years. I truly liked them but it doesn’t change the burden of care. It’s different than dealing with a healthy person. Some people will not admit it sadly but I know what I am saying. You are right!

  • @SharonCullenArt
    @SharonCullenArt 2 роки тому +101

    I don’t know if it is because I’m an RN and have been a caregiver, but I would never talk down to anyone. Not even a child. They don’t deserve that either. They don’t need patted on the head or talked to slowly. If someone doesn’t know, they will quickly be told, oh excuse me but you’ll have to speak slower…. Treat everyone like an intelligent human being for God’s sake! I never treated a patient this way regardless of age or ability. People are so ignorant.

    • @Nairozet
      @Nairozet 2 роки тому +2

      The "Not even a child" is what i miss so much in this world. To be honest, i'm more likely to talk down to an adult, if i even did, then to a child. Adults are *supposed to* know better and wiser, but the more experience i have with kids and adults, the more i see that kids are being taught to act stupid and ignorant by their peers. Especially by their parents. Hence why i tell kids things of how their are and ask adults what makes them say the things they say. On that note, people, know the difference between being mature and being an adult. Maturity has little to do with age.

  • @dashinator924
    @dashinator924 2 роки тому +251

    I couldn’t stop laughing at Shane when he said “I can’t read the cue cards” after Hannah said they weren’t scripted. I love his sense of humor.

    • @kamelhaj6850
      @kamelhaj6850 2 роки тому +7

      I loved it when he said that Hannah forcing Chapstick on him is his nightmare!

  • @howiroll740
    @howiroll740 2 роки тому +89

    Weekly Rants would be an interesting playlist. I think you are addressing issues that many of us with disabilities and our partners face very often.

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 2 роки тому +1

      Definitely PSA worthy 👍👍👍

  • @joycevannatta
    @joycevannatta 2 роки тому +115

    You guys respect each other. Hannah doesn’t dictate to Shane what he needs for two reasons: he’s an adult and her husband. Shane, people are so stupid I don’t think an apology could be big enough if they can’t see your an adult. You are a beautiful couple and don’t let them steal your joy.

  • @thewhisperedword2222
    @thewhisperedword2222 2 роки тому +72

    “I’m an adult - I just sit down.” Lol. That genuinely made me laugh. Not at the fact that people are so ignorant, but at your humorous attitude. Love you guys!

  • @jessicasheely2967
    @jessicasheely2967 2 роки тому +135

    This is so relatable as an introvert I couldn’t imagine talking on camera like you guys do. So Hannah if I ever see you I’ll totally get that you’ll have no idea what to say you are just a person, who happens to share your life on UA-cam, going about your day. Videos like this are important, would love to see more.

    • @jerod5636
      @jerod5636 2 роки тому +2

      Yep. Hell I’m not an introvert. I talk a lot. Talking to small groups or whatever doesn’t bother me. Getting me to talk to a camera like they do though? Oh hellll no. My kid has a small channel with a few thousand subs and she wanted to shoot a video of us making a sword (It’s my hobby) but I was so uncomfortable she scrapped the idea halfway through. It’s so weird.

  • @TuggerAbbey
    @TuggerAbbey 2 роки тому +58

    I can’t believe people dont’ think your relationship is real. I watch how you both interact with each other, the loving looks and even finishing each other’s thoughts. How anyone could think your relationship is not real is ridiculous. Just because he sits, doesn’t make him less or a person. I worked with disabled young children and high school aged kids and the way some of the teachers treated them made me angry. Like they were not worthy of their time because they were different. I was always letting those teachers know that they can hear what they say and they have feelings too. Now I am disabled and I look normal and get mean looks because I have a service dog or park in handicapped spot. My biggest wish is that people didn’t’ stigmatize disabled people into a box. Disabilities come in all shapes and sizes and even people who are mentally challenged still deserve love and understanding. Merry Christmas. i hope you both have a wonderful holiday season.

    • @julialucas1482
      @julialucas1482 2 роки тому +8

      Well said. I think bullying should be eliminated from schools entirely.

    • @KAIJUKING123
      @KAIJUKING123 2 роки тому +5

      As a fellow mentally disabled person this was well said and I couldn’t have said it any better myself

    • @notthatkaren3868
      @notthatkaren3868 2 роки тому +4

      I have a feeling that those who have channels devoted to proving they're lying, don't really care if they're lying or not. It's all about clicks. I refuse to watch them as I don't want to support that crap.

    • @jerrywilcox9890
      @jerrywilcox9890 Рік тому

      @@notthatkaren3868 people with them channels do it to make money of it that's it.

  • @joyryde65
    @joyryde65 2 роки тому +135

    Apparently I'm different than other people because I just see y'all as a happy couple nothing more,nothing less,and I love your videos

    • @kamelhaj6850
      @kamelhaj6850 2 роки тому +2

      Same!!

    • @Renemor
      @Renemor 2 роки тому

      Same, watching every video from Norway 😍🥰❤️🎆🎆

    • @mireillelefevre6092
      @mireillelefevre6092 2 роки тому +2

      I also see them as a normal couple with an incredibly healthy, respectful and fun relationship!!
      I can't believe how someone would dare patting Shane on the head, calling him big guy or talk to him as if he would be slower in his mind (and that is not an issue for me either). I guess most people do not have the experience with someone who is dealing with a disease that affects your muscles & they accordingly behave beyond ackward. What Shane and Hannah do to break those invisible boundaries is fabulous & i hope it will help a lot of people 🌟🌟

    • @gamecrusher2024
      @gamecrusher2024 Рік тому

      @@mireillelefevre6092 I totally agree. I often get the same thing, as a wheelchair user, myself. I just hope that he calls them out, on it.

  • @cremedementhe6717
    @cremedementhe6717 2 роки тому +62

    Haha ,when Shane said bluntly "I sit" lol I almost choked on my coffee , ☕ Shane's so funny how he words things.

    • @lulumoon6942
      @lulumoon6942 2 роки тому +1

      Totally stealing, it, too!!! 👍

    • @scutiepie9433
      @scutiepie9433 2 роки тому +1

      "I sit therefore I am" crossed my mind. 🤣

  • @leimomidevenport1525
    @leimomidevenport1525 2 роки тому +64

    I love how fired up Hannah gets, and I don't at all blame her. Shane is a whole ass adult and she's his wife, not his mom. Baffling that people don't get that... Love your channel, content, and relationship!

    • @wobbledog4085
      @wobbledog4085 2 роки тому

      What does whole adult mean. English is my second language just curious

    • @sebastianconstantin5176
      @sebastianconstantin5176 2 роки тому +2

      Hannah is his mom, she dress him, feed him, wash him, she needs to take him with her everywhere she goes. That's what a mom do.

    • @sonipitts
      @sonipitts 2 роки тому +3

      ​@@wobbledog4085 It's sort of a slang way of adding emphasis to the description of Shane as an adult. Whole, meaning complete or full. And ass, which is impolite slang used to provide additional emphasis. Think of "whole-ass" as a verbal way to underline or bold-face what you're saying. For example: "Can you believe that guy from next door? He wandered into our party last night and ate a whole-ass pizza all by himself!"
      Contextually, this phrase should be considered in the category of mildly offensive "street slang," and should not be used in a formal or professional setting, or anywhere you wouldn't use impolite language.

    • @sonipitts
      @sonipitts 2 роки тому +3

      @@sebastianconstantin5176 Yes, moms do that. But so do partners (as well as nurses and caretakers) of fully-grown adults with this level of disability. The difference being that as an adult with an adult's level of cognitive and mental development, Shane has full agency over himself and his needs, and thus can and does ask for what he wants when he feels like he wants it. And Hannah has neither the obligation nor even the right to "read his mind," do things for him without being asked, do things despite being asked not to do them, do things "for his own good," or otherwise parent him or treat him like a child.
      He is NOT a child. He is a man with specific care needs. And she is NOT his mother. She is his partner, and parenting him beyond what he asks her to help him with is neither her job nor something either of them want her to do.

    • @sebastianconstantin5176
      @sebastianconstantin5176 2 роки тому

      @@sonipitts yeah, kids too can say what they want when they want, shane is her kid. a man is the provider and protector of his family, shane is not a man, hannah does absolutely everything. shane is her child. the man also fuck his woman, shane cant do that, so its her kid

  • @gl3875
    @gl3875 2 роки тому +32

    This video was so well done. I love how you put it so straightforward "Shane is a whole adult" Great message

  • @juanitasharp647
    @juanitasharp647 2 роки тому +65

    Love you guys and am also in a wheelchair.. What I hate is being in a crowd like at Disneyland and people are banging into me because I am below their sight line. I had a young man come up to me because he saw I was having trouble exiting a shop because everyone was pushing by me. He helped me by telling the people to let me out. Very scary! Thank you for educating people!

    • @MC-tl5bf
      @MC-tl5bf 2 роки тому +1

      you should attach a medieval lance to the chair then theyll keep their distance

  • @consuelacovington8169
    @consuelacovington8169 2 роки тому +15

    Hannah vent away, I appreciate the two of you sharing your journey with us. I hate that people are being so rude. You do not deserve it. I think your family is awesome and I always look forward to seeing your videos.

  • @lindacrews9340
    @lindacrews9340 2 роки тому +16

    I cannot believe how narrow minded people are! You two are so warm, entertaining ,knowledgeable and kind. I applaud you both for your work for awareness for the disabled. Love all your videos ❤️

  • @Timcrtr1
    @Timcrtr1 2 роки тому +60

    I totally understand where you're both coming from. Being in a wheelchair myself, the one thing I can't stand is someone to talk to me like I'm a child. I'm a 49 year old man. Talk to me like you'd talk you any other adult!!

    • @jamesfrommanitoba.1992
      @jamesfrommanitoba.1992 2 роки тому +6

      Hey Tim, I’m in my 50’s and grey hair and still get it. But I have also gained some weight over the years and now I hear of you lost weight you wouldn’t need a wheelchair. I don’t think it will ever stop.

    • @mochi_ani
      @mochi_ani 2 роки тому

      sending love to y’all in this chat - from Chicago!

  • @isabellykken124
    @isabellykken124 2 роки тому +20

    This was incredibly eye opening I think you guys should do more videos like this ! I don’t fall into any of these categories of thought but there were things I had not considered before so thank you!

  • @Dudeonwheels
    @Dudeonwheels 2 роки тому +18

    Therapy time with Squirmy and Grubs. I can dig it.

  • @wendiruppe9468
    @wendiruppe9468 2 роки тому +22

    New t-shirt slogan for Shane (think GOT): I sit and I know things. 😂

  • @brittanyhoward9186
    @brittanyhoward9186 2 роки тому +34

    I am genuinely confused about how someone can use the fact that someone had previous relationships to say the current one is fake...how does that make sense?

    • @hernameispekka_Rebecca
      @hernameispekka_Rebecca 2 роки тому +13

      I guess they have a hard enough time to wrap their mind around the fact that Shane got a girl prettier and smarter than they ever could, so the fact that he's had good looking and able bodied exes does not compute in their little minds.

    • @ChrisW228
      @ChrisW228 2 роки тому +3

      I had the same reaction. Having done something (anything) in the past is usually proof that you CAN do it again anytime you want. I guess maybe they’re saying you wrote about this other girlfriend, but now you’re saying Hannah was your girlfriend... like they don’t understand that ~ten years is enough time to have multiple girlfriends at different times?

    • @ChrisW228
      @ChrisW228 2 роки тому

      @Right_onRed Source? Links?

  • @TheMessianic
    @TheMessianic 2 роки тому +6

    One thing I love about the both of you is your honesty. Thank you for being upfront about your relationship, your marriage. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. You both are loved and a compliment to each other.

  • @yomama5304
    @yomama5304 2 роки тому +5

    I like to think I understand your relationship and channel perfectly. That's why I like you both so much! Happy "almost" birthday Hannah.

  • @dreamweaverdreads2457
    @dreamweaverdreads2457 2 роки тому +10

    Wow do I relate!!!!! Exactly the feels I’m going through today!!! I’m so over the judgment on my life!!!! Trying to lift everybody up, complimenting constantly, and it’s because I genuinely mean it!!!! Best vid I’ve seen in awhile thankyou ❤️

  • @Drewy62
    @Drewy62 2 роки тому +40

    The important takeaway from Hannah's public topic is that just because you have a presence on social media doesn't mean you want a lot of public interaction.

  • @karenriechers2031
    @karenriechers2031 2 роки тому +6

    I so much enjoy your candor. You shed light on things a lot of people may never even think about. I am grateful for both of you.

  • @sgreen0000
    @sgreen0000 2 роки тому +16

    I completely relate to Hannah! I would go crazy if people that I didn’t know came up to speak with me. 🤬😩

    • @terrychapko8406
      @terrychapko8406 2 роки тому +1

      I agree with you I went like people coming up to me I didn't know and talking to me

  • @maryrentscher2316
    @maryrentscher2316 2 роки тому +7

    Ohh I love truth / therapy sessions like this! I hope they make people stop and THINK for a second before they judge or say something. Sometimes it simply amazes me how thoughtless or stupid people can be (although truthfully I have had at least my share of those moments, but I’ve tried to learn from them). Thanks for helping the world understand each other better❤️

  • @mstinak8173
    @mstinak8173 2 роки тому +15

    I am a New Sub, I just want to say disability is not why I watch you two! It's The unconditional relationship you show is possible, bottom line. A little give an take for love can move mountain's. I know Shane will be moving them for time to come!! Love from Canada!

  • @susiec333
    @susiec333 2 роки тому +9

    I totally understand you. My twin daughters are disable and people stare, they ask me questions for them, they assume they have a mental illness just because they have physical disability. When they learn my girls can play the piano or make jewelry to sell at Etzy, they're shocked and surprised, like the girls don't have a brain. It's frustrating. Thank you for changing peoples perspective.

  • @myrnaedmisten599
    @myrnaedmisten599 2 роки тому +8

    Keep it real! I love the comment that Shane is a full and complete adult. He just SITS!! Love that so much. Carry on! ❤️

  • @gjack01
    @gjack01 2 роки тому +18

    I like the venting session! I got frustrated myself thinking about how I would feel if someone started talking to me like I was 2 years old based on the way they perceive me. I feel for you, Shane. You handle the bs a lot better than I would. (I tend to curse like a sailor 😜 )

  • @vanboys350
    @vanboys350 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you both for putting yourselves out there so that people can learn kindness and basic respect. I never comment, but I need to tell you (although you already know) that it is so important. I love the humor, and all other feelings that you both display. I am so glad that I accidentally found you. Thank you for being you!!!!

  • @mariarandolph8402
    @mariarandolph8402 2 роки тому +5

    Love the humor expressed between the two of them. They are a great team.

  • @ellenbedford3888
    @ellenbedford3888 2 роки тому +22

    Love this session! I seriously think people have way too much time on their hands if they analyze every little thing you guys say. Definitely need to do another session!

  • @lisanull900
    @lisanull900 2 роки тому +7

    When my kids were teens my daughter's boyfriend asked me why I treated my disabled son the same as his sisters. (he was truly curious) I asked him why wouldn't I? Then he tells me that's why he liked to come stay with us on weekends. We never saw his disability nor did we treat him "special" due to it. He was just as normal as everyone else. (he's also disabled & his family tended to over protect) That made my heart hurt.

  • @scrumps101
    @scrumps101 2 роки тому +9

    I’m old enough to know what life was like before the internet and the one thing I’ve realized about the internet that stands out more than anything else is how many personality disorders exist in this world. It still blows my mind when I see comments saying things like how others should and shouldn’t be living. I swear by two rules that have done well for me over my lifetime: treat everyone with the respect and dignity they deserve and mind your business. I think those would benefit the online community in dramatic ways.

  • @cherylcasey4937
    @cherylcasey4937 2 роки тому +63

    I waited tables in the early 80"s had a couple come in and the man was paralized from the neck down. Asked the wife for her order then turned to the gentleman and asked for his, they both looked at me blankly, and could not believe i asked him and not the wife, isaid your paralized, not mute right? She said no one had ever done that before.After that they became my best customers.If i could i would i would sit with them and feed him so the wife could enjoy her dinner at the same time, as she always had to feed him. it was my pleasure!! Enjoyed them both for years.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 2 роки тому +1

      🙂

    • @bethannhorton8957
      @bethannhorton8957 2 роки тому +3

      Awesome thing you did but you didn't really ask if he was a mute did you?

    • @sueperdue184
      @sueperdue184 2 роки тому +1

      Needed-more folks like you!

    • @sueperdue184
      @sueperdue184 2 роки тому +2

      @@bethannhorton8957 I hope she did!it probably made his day!

    • @cherylcasey4937
      @cherylcasey4937 2 роки тому +5

      @@bethannhorton8957 i had already heard him speak to his wife, so iknew he wasn"t mute, it was just me trying to lighten the convo lol

  • @mrs.anderson2323
    @mrs.anderson2323 2 роки тому +8

    I understand being in the "limelight" if you will, you feel you have to explain things. You don't owe anyone an explanation on anything! You guys are great and keep up the good work!

    • @bethannhorton8957
      @bethannhorton8957 2 роки тому

      Amen!! However I love his responses. Lol my son is 21 and totally dependant care. He looks like a teen and looks like nothing is wrong with him until he talks and then we get the stares. I just taught him to say hi to anyone who is staring. He has autism and a rare chromosome disorder called phelan mcdermin syndrome. But if you really think about it. Everyone has some kind of disability.

  • @mrs.k6169
    @mrs.k6169 2 роки тому +8

    Oh My Gosh, YES, that makes me so mad too when they bring up the exes and how you two "are fake". I e been watching you two for a couple years now and your dynamic reminds me so much of me and my husband's relationship. It's obviously genuine and others are just jealous.

  • @julianickels5979
    @julianickels5979 2 роки тому +2

    I love you too! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I just found you two about 8 months ago and I have been obsessed ever since. I will admit, had I met you then, or before, I probably would have acted like the people who annoy you. But because of your channel, I have learned so much and I feel like I am a better person because of it. I might still act a little goofy, if I ever were to meet you, because I would be so excited to meet the both of you, but I am now confident I could talk you with more respect for you (Shane) as an adult, because you have taught me so much that I just really didn't know before. (I hope that made sense, I feel like I am rambling) Basically, thank you for enlightening me and the millions others whose life you have touched!

  • @andrewk4331
    @andrewk4331 2 роки тому +13

    As someone in a wheelchair, I have had experiences where I've been treated like I'm a child or talked down to. It is annoying and I wish more people would understand that adults in wheelchairs, with DMD, SMA, or any other wasting disease are just like other adults, we just can't physically function exactly the same as others.

    • @missygordon5418
      @missygordon5418 2 роки тому

      I cannot imagine how freaking disrespectful to and annoying this is, although there are plenty of people that talk to "able bodied" people like that, too, but you really should just know that you are far superior to anyone that ignorant.

  • @denisejaydub
    @denisejaydub 2 роки тому +94

    The fact that Shane has to say out loud that he’s a full adult person 😭 some of you are failing society

    • @meradeya7637
      @meradeya7637 2 роки тому +7

      Society is full of idiots 🤦‍♀️

    • @TerrorSab
      @TerrorSab 2 роки тому +3

      @@meradeya7637 yeah everyone is an idiot, for not guessing a child looking person isn't one.

    • @NYCisland
      @NYCisland 2 роки тому +3

      So true. Too many think people in a wheelchair are also somehow deaf or can't talk or blind or whatever other dumb thing.

    • @kamelhaj6850
      @kamelhaj6850 2 роки тому +1

      @@NYCisland Even though my disabilities were emotional, many times, people (especially my family) would talk about me right in front of me, like I wasn't smart enough to understand them. or respond.

    • @heatheramyprice
      @heatheramyprice 2 роки тому +2

      @@TerrorSab Do you really think he looks like a child just because he's sitting down? I don't know his exact age but I can easily guess it within a decade or so--- he's NOT a child, clearly.

  • @drolllindsay
    @drolllindsay 2 роки тому +4

    I’m so thankful for you guys. I have learned so much about ablism and disability. Thank you for being yourselves- not compromising who you are or your relationship because people are so naive/ignorant. You kick butt! ❤️

  • @taradois
    @taradois 2 роки тому +2

    Please make this a weekly series! As a long-time subscriber, it is fascinating to hear what it's actually been like for you both personally, as your channel has grown. And NGL, I'm totally here for hearing about people who have ALL the audacity, to think they know better than you when it comes to your relationship.

  • @PaulRhodes420
    @PaulRhodes420 2 роки тому +7

    You know you don't have to be shy around me! We've known each other for at least a few videos ago! Almost family by now, right!?
    Shane, I get the same kind of "oh, it's so inspiring to see you out!" I tell them, "that's why I'm here, I'm on my way to the liquor store! I'm out!!!"

  • @Sherka55
    @Sherka55 2 роки тому +2

    May G-d keep you safe, happy and sharing love for many years to come.💖💖💖

  • @stacyfabiszewski4633
    @stacyfabiszewski4633 2 роки тому +27

    I totally understand that about Hannah, and the small talk, I just don't know what to say.
    Thank you both for sharing this today. It really bothers me and upsets me to no end that people think that Shane is a little boy--- I would NEVER come up to you like that EVER!
    Really people?
    Hannah is Shane's girlfriend turned wife, disabled people can have a normal life and happy relationship with each other and clearly Hannah and Shane you both do.
    I NEVER thought you both were FAKE! That's so rediculous that people think this stuff.... I am being nice, I meant to say (SHIT). I am so sorry for you both you get all these comments about this stuff, and that Hannah is Shane's caregiver and nothing else. Again rediculous
    I am disabled and had a few boyfriends before I met my husband. He See's me for me not my disability,, and Hannah, I am sure you feel the same way about Shane, you fell in love with Shane and what Shane is all about. It drives me crazy when people say....OH disabled people can't ever get a date or a boyfriend/ girlfriend.
    Thank you so much for this video.
    Shane you are an amazing Man that has a normal life, and being yourself ,Hannah, you are amazing for being yourself and if you ever meet me.....it's ok I am bad at small talk too, however I would smile and wave like a nut all..... Lol 🤣 I definitely would not make you feel uncomfortable, I have been so lucky to have found both of you years ago and I have been following since. You both brighten up my day and my spirits.
    I just hate rude and stupid people out there!
    Love both of you guys and I am so happy for you both. I hope you guys have a fantastic weekend and looking forward to your next video. I get so happy when I see a new one

    • @bridgetfredericks8332
      @bridgetfredericks8332 2 роки тому +1

      Stacy.....good gosh you're very good at writing what you see & feel.....your STRONG & POSITIVE post is EVERYTHING I think and feel about Shane & Hannah! They are an incredible couple, with each having their own stengths & weaknesses LIKE ALL OF US....for goodness sakes!! Thanks for sharing :)

    • @stacyfabiszewski4633
      @stacyfabiszewski4633 2 роки тому

      @@bridgetfredericks8332 thank you so much for the compliment, I appreciate you so much, I just write how I feel. I love Shane and Hannah and I have gone through a lot of what they have experienced. I feel like I write so much and I have to stop myself, because I could write so much more, thank you so much, I am strong, you have to be and stand up for yourself otherwise no one will understand you.. I appreciate you, thank you so much for the message. Have a fantastic night and weekend.

    • @shannonhensley2942
      @shannonhensley2942 2 роки тому +1

      He has a visible tattoo and a mustache 🤣. Its odd how all that goes out the window because he's in a chair and he is shorter.

    • @stacyfabiszewski4633
      @stacyfabiszewski4633 2 роки тому

      @@bridgetfredericks8332 it's just really important to me and you have to be positive, otherwise people will walk all over you and push you around, make fun of you, and say very nasty things. You have to be strong and positive so nothing will bother you, you have to have a very thick skin, and I believe Shane and Hannah do ! It's just sad that they have to remind people constantly.

  • @Erik-pr2rf
    @Erik-pr2rf 2 роки тому +11

    years ago some people thought the woman i was dating at the time was My PCA or my nurse . i said No shes my better half ( of course they gave looks like Um yeah ok ) i hate how some people think us disabled people cant be with non disabled or its not Healthy for being with normal ..... ive had other issues with non disabled stories ...

  • @irishkismet2695
    @irishkismet2695 2 роки тому +35

    Shane's wants are reasonable, he just wants to be treated like everyone else. The best revenge against the shallow people is to continue to be happy together and grow. Nothing a troll hates more 😏

    • @Nairozet
      @Nairozet 2 роки тому +1

      I'm thinking, answer/talk slow and at the end of the sentence ask, at the same speed, "Did you understand what i said or should i speak slower?"

  • @virgloh8934
    @virgloh8934 2 роки тому +2

    Oh the fireplace looks so comfy...Enjoyed this video, as usual...have a beautiful evening.

  • @Saphirah22
    @Saphirah22 2 роки тому +9

    Thanks YT for an alert when a video is posted! Not having to wait hours to know it exists is nice. Thanks S&G for all the videos!

  • @lindajohnson7584
    @lindajohnson7584 2 роки тому +3

    Shane you are beyond whole, you are awesome! You are making great contributions in your life. These people making comments need to get a life!!!

  • @tlovestea423
    @tlovestea423 2 роки тому +9

    4:31 ".. I SIT." I don't know why that was so funny to me. 💕 also I adore Hannah blessing herself.
    P.s. this random sit down idea was awesome, thank you!

  • @Sogonrei
    @Sogonrei 2 роки тому +1

    I love how in tune you are with another. You can literally finish each others sentences and have such great respect for each other and laugh alot and love and support each other. Many couples are incapable of "really showing up." You both truly want what's best for each other.

  • @corenasalyers7288
    @corenasalyers7288 2 роки тому +3

    First of all , I just want to say thank you for such a strong video. Do me a favor and don’t change who you two are individually and as a couple. You both are amazing It’s really sad you even have to explain yourself. You shouldn’t have to explain anything snd ppl need to not judge you two or anyone separately or as a couple and treating you Shane cause if your disability is just wrong and crazy. I don’t know how you do it when ppl look and talk to you like your a child or can’t hear or state we it maybe. Ppl should not treat you or anyone that way. I don’t know how your do it. There’s so much to say just not enough time to express how sorry I am for ignorant ppl. Hanna, I’m the same way the ppl. It’s never that I don’t like someone , just sometimes I don’t have anything to talk about and small talk is a waste You two stay strong and don’t change who you are. Love you both and love your straight forward ness Have a great night 2 more days Hanna for your birthday Yay!!!⭕️❌😃

  • @slcncr
    @slcncr 2 роки тому +27

    What Shane said about how he gets treated very often, like he is a 5 year old and doesn´t understand, really makes me angry.
    It is sad but it has to be said: There are a lot of DUMB people out there.

  • @seandineen999
    @seandineen999 2 роки тому +11

    Im a college professor with cerebral palsy, I have a phd, and it drives me nuts, to hear people's phony paternalism, and attempts to control you, Shane, I've dealt with those seskapals, Afrikaans for Jackasses, a lot.

  • @kristi7858
    @kristi7858 2 роки тому +4

    Shane, you are a very intelligent person and a pleasure to listen to. I love that you and Hannah are so natural. You make each other laugh and it’s a pleasure to listen to you both. I love you both.

  • @tony-hifi-music951
    @tony-hifi-music951 2 роки тому +11

    Love to you both, have a lovely Christmas, love your channel.

  • @bethnichols2875
    @bethnichols2875 2 роки тому +2

    I'm fairly new to your channel, yet from the videos I've seen so far, imo, if people actually paid attention to what you both are saying, and how you each interact with each other, instead of just making assumptions, and watching to reply, they would clearly see that although yes, Shane has some physical limitations, which Hannah assists with, he is still a relatively independent person, who has thoughts of his own and a brain he knows how to use. Not to mention, he has a stache and a wicked sense of humor(so clearly not a child), and has had experiences in life like anyone else has had at his age, in being an adult. All subjects you have addressed in past videos. I actually thanked God for bringing the two of you into each other's lives. A true blessing. God bless you both and your families/friends as well. 🙏🕊

  • @barbaralamb9575
    @barbaralamb9575 2 роки тому +6

    I filled a volunteer position in my neighborhood recently and when a certain elder lady, who knows me yet not very well, ask me if I was capable of filling the position....Like seriously my disability is physical, yes, but I have help with those type of things and I'm fully mentally capable.

  • @jillking23
    @jillking23 2 роки тому +2

    I totally agree with both of you! Ppl ask the most stupid and silly questions. You wonder if they think about what they are going to say before they say it?? 🤔 Hannah gives the best care to Shane in my eyes and he is equally the same. I think a lot of it is that they can’t understand how someone could love a person in a wheel chair OR any disability. So sad. Love you two! ♥️

  • @colindodd9639
    @colindodd9639 2 роки тому +3

    Shane & Hannah, I've been watching your channel for a few months now as I started at the beginning & have just caught up with them all. I am also in an interabled relationship. We will have been married 20 years in May. Keep up the great work that you both do. I'm from the UK. I agree with you Shane, I get so angry when I'm treated like a little kid.

  • @kath2621
    @kath2621 2 роки тому +2

    I completely understand. I’m a introvert and I struggle with talking to people i just met. Nothing against them I just don’t know what to say. Love your videos.

  • @johnvelas70
    @johnvelas70 2 роки тому +10

    Hannah: I can literally count the words I use to speak to other folks in a day. I have no clue how people do it.

  • @craftadventureswithsusanto808
    @craftadventureswithsusanto808 2 роки тому

    Ignorance is a horrible thing, you two are doing so much to help educate people about real life. Love you both! Big hugs and blessings!

  • @xixxxxix5084
    @xixxxxix5084 2 роки тому +3

    That is why you need to take in a caretakers who comes several times a day. To take care of someone who ha the same physical capacity as an infant is nothing you should do day in and day out on top of your day job. It also puts a strain on your relationship where he is so dependant of you.

  • @kittycatmommy2364
    @kittycatmommy2364 2 роки тому +2

    People only understand from their level of perception. I don't always remember to think about this point but when I do it helps me quite a bit. Some have no filters and whatever they're thinking just flies out of their mouths!!
    The two of you have an awesome relationship and it must be very hard at times when dealing with people when you come across these situations. You are truly blessed to have each other. I give you credit and have so much respect for the two of you.
    Sending love and hugs Merry Christmas to you and your families.❤🎄❤🙋‍♀️

  • @elizabethking6363
    @elizabethking6363 2 роки тому +4

    That's is hyisterical Hannah! I once walked walked by a mirror in the mall and waved at myself and thinking I walked away how much I look like that person I waved at! lol I told my friend that was with me and she asked me if I have been a ding bat all my life or is this a new development?? Then she told me I was in front of a mirror.! 🤣😂

  • @BShaw
    @BShaw 2 роки тому

    This channel is so important to me, Shane, you have inspired me to speak about my own issues around my disabilities on my channel.

  • @marylabelle803
    @marylabelle803 2 роки тому +14

    BLESS YOU BOTH AND YOUR DOGGIE TOO!

  • @elishataylor826
    @elishataylor826 2 роки тому +2

    I love everything about this video! Keep educating people. You’re truly making a difference to so many in how they view and engage with others. ❤️

  • @jenl784
    @jenl784 2 роки тому +6

    Lol I could just imagine my husband's reaction if I just walked up and started putting chapstick on him haha people are crazy.

  • @bethelrod2162
    @bethelrod2162 2 роки тому +1

    I have been wheelchai bound for several years. I taught in one for three years before my health issues forced me to quit. Co workers treated me very different when that happened. So glad you are getting word out about just being normal. Merry Christmas you two lovely proe.

  • @ceciliamontero2127
    @ceciliamontero2127 2 роки тому +10

    Hermosa pareja: estas cosas que enfrentan son parte de su misión de concienciar a la sociedad. Entiendo que a titulo personal puedan llegar a ser duras de digerir porque se repiten una y otra vez pero sigan adelante con humor y amor porque aportan un grano de arena a este mundo. Que tengan unas felices navidades.

  • @SoluJennerich
    @SoluJennerich 2 роки тому +2

    Oh, I missed you guys! I used to watch your videos as soon as they were posted but as time went by I got a lot busier and I just didn't have enough time to procrastinate as much as I wanted to. So, yeah, super random comment but I just wanted to tell you guys how much I, as a random viewer, appreciate our time together.

  • @reneelewis7187
    @reneelewis7187 2 роки тому +5

    What? WHAT?
    Shane is an adult? AND a valuable individual? Why I NEVER!!! Had I known any of this I would never have continued watching. 🤣😂
    Oh Lord, why are people so shallow? I could not even imagine you two being anything different than what we see in your vlogs.
    Keep being genuinely you...we viewers adore you both. 💕

  • @marsharehm5599
    @marsharehm5599 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing so much of your lives and your frustrations!! You guys are amazing and honest!! Keep showing the possibilities!!

  • @wordswritteninred7171
    @wordswritteninred7171 2 роки тому +7

    You know those stickers, that people put on cars, that say “baby on board”? You should get one for Your wheel chair that says “ADULT ON BOARD”! Lol. Love. You guys!

  • @TheVelvetsky614
    @TheVelvetsky614 2 роки тому +2

    Love, love, love. Never long enough! I could watch ya all day. Why do people, when given a 24 hour span to do anything in the world one could possibly imagine, actually choose to spend some of it throwing shade on a couple just doing life. Mind boggling.

  • @pattiedixon2429
    @pattiedixon2429 2 роки тому +6

    Can’t believe I am the first on here again. Same as yesterday. I simply cannot wait for your videos. Wait for them and love, love, love them. You two are so special to this old ladies entertainment. You bring me joy, laughter and moments of love for all your experiences. Wish to meet the two of you someday in person. Shane you are adorable but in a grown up way.

  • @samanthaorologio6866
    @samanthaorologio6866 2 роки тому

    The weekly series idea is AN AMAZING idea okay. Please actually do it. I learned more from this one than many others. Not that I matter lol, and I learn a lot from y’all all the time, it would just help destigmatize so many things and bring light to so many mistakes we all make, here and In real life. Yalls delivery only adds to the amount of receptiveness most of us will have to seeing things differently, doing things differently, and being an ass and assuming things in the first place.
    Y’all are just such a laugh every single time I watch. I hope you both have ALL the confidence, in general, that we all have in y’all, cause y’all really are just so great. In a million ways.

  • @TeresaO82
    @TeresaO82 2 роки тому +12

    Ok, Shane's in person peeves had me laughing so hard because I've watched so long that I don't see the chair or disability any more. I know it's annoying to him and I'm not taking away from that but I pictured everyone being responded to that way. Too much, I'm guilty though.
    Hannah's not knowing what to say to people is my greatest struggle also.
    Shane, why didn't you tell Hannah to just have her sweater off before the video? Aren't you taking care of her? Lol See what I did there? I love the vent session ☺️

    • @Timcrtr1
      @Timcrtr1 2 роки тому +3

      Being in a wheelchair myself, the best compliment you can give is that you don't see the disability. Two thumbs up!!

  • @MagnoliaPantherWoman
    @MagnoliaPantherWoman 2 роки тому

    I like the vent sessions in your mix. Y'all do a great job of making these simple to understand. "That's how life is."

  • @Kat-fc7sx
    @Kat-fc7sx 2 роки тому +3

    In my opinion you guys are an awesome loving caring couple from Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦 Merry Christmas

  • @lisa-mariegray5510
    @lisa-mariegray5510 2 роки тому +1

    Nice! The Burcaw family fireside chat! You guys are awesome 😊

  • @sidneywilkey5820
    @sidneywilkey5820 2 роки тому +3

    I can so relate to Shane on how the way some adults approach you when you are in a wheelchair. I have been in a wheelchair since I was 18 years old. My wife and I can be in a restaurant ordering a meal and the waiter/waitress look at my wife and will ask what does he want. She will respond, I don't know, you will have to ask him.

  • @shirleyannburdock4510
    @shirleyannburdock4510 2 роки тому

    I really appreciate your discussions via this channel. This particular one reminds me of how stubborn human misconceptions can be, and how hurtful. Your love and respect for each other warms my heart.

  • @andreanne8228
    @andreanne8228 2 роки тому +3

    Me during social interactions with people I don’t know or barely know:
    "How much eye consct is too much eye contact…?"
    "What do I do with my hands…?"
    "Oh shit, I don’t know what they just said because I was busy worrying about eye contact and my hands, but they are clearly waiting for my answer…. 😰"
    "Oh no! Awkward silence! Quick, think of something to say….!!! 😳😳😳😳"

  • @debbrumley5623
    @debbrumley5623 2 роки тому +1

    There are so many people who do not have a life or anything to do but complain, the heck with them. You two keep doing what your doing I love it !

  • @kellycope335
    @kellycope335 2 роки тому +3

    I absolutely LOVE you two!!!! 💖💗

  • @TheJeffrey575
    @TheJeffrey575 2 роки тому +1

    Your insights are fantastic! I for one see you as a couple who love each other and have learned how best to compliment your relationship. Hannah definitely is a midwesterner, always honest, speaks up when she has something to say but doesn't insert herself into a conversation for the sake of it. Shane is the communicator of the couple. It became apparent during the Average Joe segment. Keep being you...and keep sharing!

  • @amberv4223
    @amberv4223 2 роки тому +3

    Keep telling yourself that sweetie.

  • @OverkastKellu
    @OverkastKellu 2 роки тому +1

    I love the venting videos!!! Also in love with your outro music. So beautiful!

  • @sweetbutterfly9137
    @sweetbutterfly9137 2 роки тому +10

    Unfortunately their is too many green eyed monsters out there your a lovely couple with a good life and your both honest and adorable to each other these green eyed monsters most likely are the fake ones in this world x

  • @jessicamarchese5140
    @jessicamarchese5140 2 роки тому

    I love your transparency. It is so important to be polite and treat others the way you'd like to be treated.