i survived.
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- This is a story I used to be so scared of within my past. I thought it spoke to my vulnerability and my weakness - I thought it made me less of a person. The truth is, my struggle and my recovery have made me everything that I am today. I’m sharing this story this #NEDAweek for the girl I was five years ago who didn’t know if she would survive. I’m also sharing this story because I know that girl I once was is reflected in other people going through the same at this moment. The culture cannot change without voices strong enough to speak their truth and their battle. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak mine today.
Visit, donate, and learn more at the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) www.nationalea...
25 first-edition copies of Undisordered are available for my NEDA week fundraiser here: poshmark.com/l...
100% of profits donated to NEDA
I will also be donating all February profits from Amazon book sales as well: www.amazon.com...
This video will be monetized until UA-cam inevitably demonetizes it, and all profits from this video will also be donated. It is my hope that the fundraising being done for NEDA in this video is not misconstrued as me trying to make money from this story that means everything to me, and I hope to show that you can be open and share these types of sensitive stories without exploiting them. The focal point of this video is not meant to be the book or the donations, but rather my story, and I hope I was able to achieve that. But I can't help but be cautious and nervous that my meanings could be interpreted differently.
Hotlines and resources for those in crisis:
(800) 931-2237
(800) 273-8255
(800) 784-2433
1 year sober from heroin. We are bad ass! If it was easy everyone would do it!
Brandi Kennedy me too you go girl ❤️❤️
You are amazing, keep on keeping on love
HUGE congratulations to you!! we’re obviously strangers, but i’m rooting for you!!! 💖
So proud of both of you!!
Wow!!! Congratulations 👏🎉 that is amazing!
i unfortunately cant watch this video since hearing ppl talk about their eds badly triggers my own, HOWEVER, i still want to say that you are an incredibly strong and inspiring person, and im so very proud of you! i wish you all the best in life
Please don't watch! Put yourself and your health first. When I was starting out my recovery I couldn't bear to listen to the same, and that's totally valid and okay. Wishing you the best xx
you! did! that!
i! love! u! a! lot!
I just want to say before I finish this that I’m so proud of you, and am so happy that you are alive. Your story is incredibly inspiring to me, and I want you to know that you are not your illness. It does not define you. Thank you for speaking up.
Love you
In high school I had a friend who could tell us the caloric value of a single Cheerio. We didn't know at the time that we were seeing an ED, and would have acted differently if we had. Thank you for sharing your story.
“I’m not recovering because I love the people around me. I’m recovering because I love myself.” That one hit me hard. I’m almost 2 years from my “I survived date and I’m just over 6 months sober. I’m going to purchase your book after this. You are incredible.
❤❤❤
You‘re such a strong and beautiful woman, Julia 💕 I was literally crying while you were telling your story, I‘m glad you shared that with us. Stay strong girl we‘re all with you. ❤️
Have to take my son to school and haven't watched this yet, but I want to thank you in advance for sharing this. Purchased the book immediately. I too have an ED history, and as a result of my passion for recovery, I have spent the last few years working as a nurse in residential eating disorder treatment. Love you and can't wait to read this.
Thank you so much for your work and for all you've done to treat these horrible diseases. The world needs more people like you.
I'm a midwife now, but I'll be dedicating my DNP project to integrating more timely screening for ED in the prenatal and postpartum period, and well as promoting language/communication that is more trauma and ED sensitive in healthcare settings. I'll never stop seeking these people out. They often get missed.
thank you for what you do. you’re saving lives!! 💗
I am a recovering addict, i have been in recovery for 17 years now. Your story is extremely familiar to me ... just wanted you to know that no, recovery never actually ends, but it does get sooooooo much easier. Love and respect .. i am cheering for you!
I'm sitting here, silently crying...
I am so thankful you shared your story. I am currently 2 years free from eating disorders that lasted on and off for 14 years. This is the longest I have gone without falling back in, and I feel the permanent, though cautious minded, change now.
Wishing you all the best. Love, light, and healing. You can make it through, and you've already come so far. Your strength is beautiful
congratulations on what you’ve accomplished thus far. i’m rooting for you 💖
It takes a lot of courage and strength to come forward and tell your story. I commend and admire your strong will to live your life on your own terms. May you continue to do so in good health and happiness and may this experience bring you the peace and solace you so deserve in your life. You have a lot to be proud of and nothing to be ashamed of because you are a survivor and are willing to share your darkest moments to give light to others. Thank you💕💗💖
I'm so proud of you Julia and so grateful to you for sharing so that others might be helped. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 27 and now I'm 38. Doctors ACTUALLY told me that it would be very difficult for me to hold down a job, live independently, manage financially, have a relationship, raise children. I am employed in a job I love, own and run a home, and am happily married for coming up to 5 years, plus raised 2 amazing rescue dogs. What I mean to say is recovery is possible for everyone with a mental illness, and a meaningful life, however one measures that, can be lived. If anyone reading this is losing hope, please get help and please believe that it CAN and WILL get better! ❤❤❤
From one survivor to another - congratulations and I am so very proud of you. I know it’s a struggle that never truly ends, but your strength in getting to this point will get you through. Much love ❤️
I rarely ever comment but I just wanted to send you the most love and healing energy. You’re a Star Julia and you radiate beauty from the inside out. As a nurse in ICU, and previously in inpatient teen detox we see the worst and seeing recovery brings tears to this hardened heart. Keep fighting for yourself and for all those who need to hear this message. There is life on the other side. 💗
I have so much respect for those in the healthcare professions that deal with ED and mentally ill patients. I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to treat those patients myself, but being a part of this is one of the biggest reasons I'm going into medicine. Thank you for all you do, the world needs more people of your strength and kindness.
this was so powerful. i’ve struggled with disordered eating for so long, and i’m still fighting my battle. thank you for sharing 💖
I wish you the best, keep fighting and I don't know any words to help because I don't know what helped me.
Claudia Torres thank you
You are going to do great things. Thank you for being brave to share your story. You are inspiring lots of young girls. Very courageous young woman.
So fkn proud of you beautiful! I’m two years clean from pain pills ♥️ it’s never easy to admit you have a problem whether it be ED or addiction. It’s a dark place and you feel so alone but you’re not ! I really want to read your book . Ah it’s so hard to form words just know I’m so proud of you ♥️
Both of my parents work in the mental health space and your sharing your experience is so so important.
hi julia,, dont usually comment but wanted to leave one to thank you for sharing your story. i dont usually tear up at videos but i kept tearing up when you said that every time you run into a situation where someone else is going through what you went through at one point, you realize that you might not ever really move on from those events. i cant relate in the exact same way, but it's such a realistic,, explanation/portrayal/story, that as much as we move on from traumas in our lives there's still tiny bits of those events that are always embedded in us.
im glad that you are better now, and grateful for your existence, grateful that we get to have you be here on youtube creating content. you're really smart and beautiful and intelligent and i wish you lots of happiness and health ♥
I'been struggling with bulimia for over 13 years and have been getting help for the last two years. Thank you for mentionning you'd struggle with bulimia too, a lot of people only talk about anorexia and it can get very lonely. I still haven't find my desire to live, but I keep hoping I will. People like you give me hope I can. So thank you again.
i havent finished watching this yet, but wow..this timing is crazy. i was diagnosed with an eating disorder yesterday. apparently everyone knew but me, they all assumed i knew i had an eating disorder but i had no idea. i always thought it was something that was obvious and very intentional but over the past three years, i developed an eating disorder. it happened really slowly over time so it never really caught my attention. but then it happened very suddenly and i lost a huge amount of weight in a very short amount of time. i lost so much of my hair and i bruise at the slightest touch and my heart races and my vision blurs every time i stand up. i had no clue i was sick. i was talking to my therapist yesterday and casually talked about my eating habits and she was stunned. i didnt know there was anything wrong with what ive been doing, but my therapist made me book an emergency appointment with my doctors to get a billion tests done and get a diagnosis. ive never been more scared in my life. i havent been able to say the words "i have an eating disorder" out loud yet. i dont want to admit it. it took me such a long time to finally say the words "im gay" out loud and i didnt think i'd ever have to do something like that again. but here i am, constantly looking at myself in the mirror just trying so hard to say it out loud. i am terrified. i used to hear people talk about eating disorders and my heart would just ache for them. i never imagined i would be in their position. i watched your tedtalk a while back but i think i will be rewatching it now since i have a different outlook now. thank you for sharing this, julia. hearing peoples recovery stories was a huge part in my own recovery of my panic disorder and i think hearing peoples eating disorders success stories will be helpful for me now. thank you so much. this gives me hope.
I’m a year older than you but i really look up to you a lot, especially when it comes to talking about mental health. I know you don’t know me but I’m really proud of you for sharing your story and always inspiring others. Love you ❤️
You are incredibly special, and I mean that in the purest way. I can’t imagine being as brave as you are. I wish I could be honest with myself the way you’re honest. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad that you decided you wanted to live. My dad was an alcoholic and it was hard for me to understand that he needed to get help for himself and not do it just for his family. I did finally get that. Thank you again for sharing.
🌺Thank you for sharing your story and I’m so happy that you survived.🌺
I cannot stop crying! I am still in the thick of it and feel as though I always will be. Stories like this give me HOPE
you are so inspirational sweetheart. you are such a strong soul and it shows 💕 thank you for this video.
I don’t know you personally Julia, but I’m so proud of you. I never had an eating disorder but I have struggled with depression and a lot of your story sounds very familiar to me. You are a strong and beautiful person and you have come so far. I love watching your videos, and you have really inspired me, and because of you I am thinking of telling my story. Love you 💕
Thank you for opening up your life to us. I can see that people find it comforting to know that they aren’t the only ones going through eating disorders. Sending much love girl ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. And most importantly, thank you for fighting Julia. I myself still suffer from depression. It was severe at one point and I can proudly say it "only" is depression now. I do not often think of that only but at the moment I am feeling well.
Eventhough I suffer from a mental illness myself, I do not know what you feel. They are so cruel and so individual. But it seams like you grew a lot and I just wish you all the best in this world and I would love to hug and squeez you right now. Lots of love
Idk if you will read this because I am 5 days late to your video. If you do though just know that you are one of the STRONGEST WOMAN I know. I am a recovering addict myself. I have dealt with addiction for many many years of my life. I have been clean almost 16 months. To hear your story today you really got me emotional. You are truly so inspiring for others. I WILL be buying your book on Amazon. I am sure the 25 you had sold out super fast. You are a total bad ass and you are a fuckin survivor. You have so much to offer and your helping so many people. Keep up your incredible journey you have so much more to give xoxo
I want to reach out through the screen and hug you so much rn xxx
Went straight to your Poshmark and bought the book. You’re so inspiring and eloquent, and I can’t wait to read your written words 💜
I love you. I'm so proud of you.
When I was a teenager I had an eating disorder. I was able to watch about half of your video but had to close it. But just know that I find it amazing when ppl spread there stories because it destigmatizes mental illness. I love you Julia you are beautiful inside and out
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
We can all get through this❤
My tears fall for what you went through, you are overcoming it all! Happy for you that you are able to share your experience so eloquently and also bravely. Thank you and keep it up!
You are so strong. Watching this had me in tears. So proud of you & your growth💘
I'm so proud of you, you been through a lot. Be proud that you made it so far and that you're a strong Julia. 💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭
julia, you’re so strong. i’m so so proud of you, for sharing your story, for recovering, for being so authentic and open. you deserve health and happiness and i’m so proud of you for being able to seek help and also encourage others to be brave enough to do the same.
I’m recovering from bulimia and I completely understand the sense of shame when it comes to sharing. It took me a relapse to realize that once I’m in that binge/purge phase, I’m literally on auto-pilot! I know it is wrong and I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t stop! That’s when I stopped being ashamed. Because the disordered behavior is controlling me, not the other way around 💔
Im so proud of u. Also March 9th is my birthday lol.
two seconds in and i'm already tearing up. we're strong. we deserve recovery. i'm so proud of you. thank you for sharing your story with us.
I'm so proud of you, babe
💖 I suffered from anorexia & bulimia myself so I understand how strong you are, how hard you fought & how amazing you are x
Oh, sweetheart. You are so amazing, so strong, so brave, so beautiful inside and outside♥️❤ I'm going to order your book right now. I don't know anyone with an ED, but I am the mom of an adult son who suffers from extreme mental illness, and any time a young person finds the kind of strength you show, I want to help. Sending you love and light, and I'm so glad you survived💜⚘
So proud of you. I have always struggled with my body, weight and nutrition. I've swayed from both extremes of EDs, flirting with anorexia and bulimia, then bouncing back and using food as a coping mechanism, leading to getting obese. It is my hardest struggle to this day and I am so proud of you and so happy that you found a way out of the spiralling hole that it is. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives the rest of us hope 💗💗💗
I’m glad you survived. You have so much to offer to the world and loving yourself is so important. Bravo!
You are amazing & strong. Thank you for telling your story. I struggled with self harm as a young teen & I feel a connection to your story & feelings around yourself. Much love xoxo 💕
You are an amazing, brave, and beautiful person. You get the bonus meme! 🥰
Thank you for sharing. ❤️
I'm a pretty recent subscriber, but I've really enjoyed with your videos and your style of makeup. Your attention to color especially has helped me look at my own collection in a new and exciting way. I don't have experience with EDs so I don't feel like I can say anything much, but I do have experience with suicide attempts--and I can say that I'm really glad you're still around, and that you're doing better. People without mental illness often think that recovering from it is like recovering from a cold--once it's gone, it's gone. But those of us with mental illness know that it's a lifelong struggle. So if you ever feel yourself returning to those old mentalities, I hope you remember that there are people who watch your videos and are happy that you made it this far. 💕💕 (sorry for this essay lmao I'm just very emotional right now)
A thing I think most people don't understand is that EDs are not only mentally hard, but they also leave lifelong physical damage. I was underweight for only a few months 2 years ago and my heart, digestion and reproduction system are still damaged. My hair is still very thin and skin flaky even though I am at healthy weight for pretty long time.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It takes so much strength to do so. You had me in tears (in a good way). Thank you for helping me, and others. You are amazing :)
Just know that we love you, and I’m so incredibly proud of you and grateful that you’re alive and sharing your story on this platform. Keep going and blooming and I wish you all the best.
you're incredibly brave for opening up & sharing your story 💙💙 I have my own struggles with mental health & ED, and I know that surviving isn't easy sometimes; but you did it, and I'm so, so glad you made it through. thank you for using your platform & experiences to spread awareness (& hope). you're an wonderful, inspiring person; and I'm sending all love to you 💙💙💙
My last suicide attempt was a week ago. I feel you.
endless love for you girl
i survived too. thank you so much for sharing this. happy NEDA week my love 💓
I love you Julia.
💜💜💜Thank you for sharing your story.
Your are amazingly brave, and courageous for sharing your survival story on your channel. To tell your story in your Ted talk at your school and now will have changed more people’s lives than you know. You will have encouraged them to talk to someone and then get right help that they need. From the right people. This as well as saving yourself ❤️ and being honest and real ( which we don’t have enough of now a days) sending lots of love 💖 respect ✊ and sheer admiration from the 🇬🇧
i think this video could start motivating me to try and recover... thank you for that :)
We all struggle with something and opening up is one of the hardest part. I admire your strength and I’m sure that you just helped a lot of people by just uploading this video. A true hero❤️
Thank you for talking about mental health. You are very brave. Love you even more 😊
im so proud of you and i love you so much julia. thank you for sharing your story.
A queen who can be brave and tell her story. Good for you boo. I am so happy and proud of you for moving past your struggles. Love you dewy queen 💕😍
I want you to know that I really really really appreciate you making this video. It’s not an easy thing to do. I used to be so suicidal and have tried to take my life and nobody will truly understand what that’s like unless they’ve been there. Stay strong ❤️
So proud of you🙏🏻you deserve so much love❤you're strong 🌟
thank you so much for speaking out about your experience and educating people. you're so incredibly wonderful and i wish you all the best, stay strong and stunning ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are such a beautiful person inside and out.
You are amazing! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
You are so strong Julia and very inspiring . You are perfectly lovely .
i just really have so much love for you. you are such a positive light. you present yourself so well and so vulnerable but with that vulnerability you still show how much strength you have. i am so shocked at how you made this your darkest secret and have made it your strength. you may not view it as that but it truly is. i can’t wait to see your journey through this world go even further. sending you love. ❤️
Don’t read the comments. I’m 58 yrs old and did the same suicide thing you did and soooooo glad decided I wanted to live. I’ve had to go through much harder things in my life since and I won’t say it wasn’t hard but it’s worth it in the end I have a great husband. Awesome son amazing daughter in law and my angel of a granddaughter
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ So much love for you.
So proud of you 💜💜💜💋 the book Hungry by Crystal Renn literally opened my eyes to my own disordered eating years ago - thank you for your candor ♥️♥️♥️
I’m so proud of you! You’re a very strong person! Bravo for being so brave! ❤️
I'm in awe at your bravery and strength to share your story. So proud of you kiddo ♡
you not only have strength but you ARE strength. we love you so much and thank you for being such an amazing person. you truly are an amazing role model. always looking up to you!!
I have chills all over my body. Thank you so much for being brave and sharing your story, it shows just how strong you are. And thank you for still being with us here today. Sending you all the love!
You are an articulate and inspiring young woman. Your realness will help so many people going through all sorts of pain. Very admirable .
you are so incredibly strong❤️ bought your book right away- sending you all the love :)
You're amazing 💖💖💖💖
Your vulnerability and strength here is helping SO many people. Thank you. You are utterly impressive
💜💙💜
I cannot thank you enough. Healing.
Julia, you are good enough. Always remember that my love ❤
A little over 3 years clean of heroin. Keep on keeping on lovely
God your so strong. I wish I was in the same place you are.
thank you for making this video. i know it took a ton of courage, and there are so many people that are so proud of you. i struggled with depression and an eating disorder for several years as well
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story, your helping so many people by doing so.You are a strong, intelligent, and beautiful girl. Sending lots of love ❤️
I’m so proud of you and you are so brave for not letting this take your beautiful soul away from this earth! Sharing your story to raise awareness and make people feel like they’re not alone is wonderful and you are so amazing!
Hi Julia, what I can say, I've seen eating disorders in people I love with all my heart, fortunately they are the bravest survivors like you. I'm so proud of you and just for your knowledge, your have a follower from Spain here. You are doing such a great job with your channel, keep going! Eres más bonica que nada, hija ❤️
thank you for sharing this today. you're gonna help so many people and you definitely helped me. you are loved and appreciated julia 🖤
unbelievably proud of you ❤❤
thank you for sharing. it’s amazing how you have that power to be transparent and i’m sure you’re going to help so many people.
You are so inspiring and a strong person 🙂 I’m so proud of you!
You are so strong and deserve everything you have achieved. I suffered through a lot of childhood trauma which caused my depression and some toxic habits I have. Seeing people like you who succeed and such a good person gives me hope for myself. Thank you