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What if he doesn't receive my calls and ghosts me? I mean he doesn't even read texts either and whenever he does, there is no reply. But a couple of times he has heart reacted to a message
What if ur flirting & sexual active with ur ex & after awhile he turns off his read receipts, says things but doesn't keep his words or promises, wont add u on social media when he says he will, and then makes plans with u but doesn't talk at all the next day & doesn't read any messages & he's older.... but hes done this in the past too but i thought we moved forward after our talk & everything.
Wow so so good good advice thank you to bring him up to give a good advice yeah me and Annette from Uganda but I like so white man who serious I like so white man who was serious in the relationship with me serious one who are going to marry me but I'm not fine I'm just put up someone says with your heart just leave you like that but let me follow you I'm here ring everything thank you so much to give us a device or serious in the relationship I'm going to put my hair to hearing you everyday even follow you thank you so much
@@rupalipawar92 he is thinking about you for that moment only, but not fully into you. So be careful. Liking is there but love has not happened yet. Nd hope both of you will surely find out quickly, if you wr perfect for each other or nt
The strategy that I always use when my person pulls away is this: I run away to the hills as fast as I can and it resulted in my person chasing me. And when it happened I lost my interest in them and I dumped them like a doormat. I believe that if your person is in love and sure about you. They don't have to pull away and give you anxiety. A healthy person does not play mind games in a relationship. So PULLING AWAY is a red flag.
@@josiecamilo7098 most of these people here commenting on videos like these in this way (whatsapp me, greatest voodoo practicioner of all time etc etc) are just s c a m m e r s
@@ewatomialabi1006 I wanted my rx back and it was an emotional nightmare that I stayed in because I loved him so much. I will never go back for seconds with an ex after that. Now, I trust that if it didn't work out it's for the best. Bye Felicia 👋
If a guy pulls back get busy with your own life. And when he steps forward again and asks you to go on a date, “sorry I’m busy, however I’m available on a certain day next week”. Just be busy with your own life so it doesn’t feel empty.
Why tell him you are busy? If he comes back its the best time to serve him a hot revenge.. He need to learn to learn some lesson otherwise he will break multiple womens hearts...
@@pupdates2008 hi, don’t forget we come to experience life lessons on this beautiful planet 🌎 called earth. In my case I thank him 🙏 and I evaluated ME. Bcs the reflection her was… I am not any more. You get it? You reflection mirror 🪞 is what the universe pair you up with! So by him leaving, that means either he put grew YOU! And there is a better part of YOU! That he is NOT Matching. Or you when lower on the best version of you. And there forth the Universe said…. Wait! This two souls are not a match made in heaven Any more….. Bcs you outgrow him. We have a better person for her. Bcs she is being a nicer soul …. There forth she deserves a better more IDENTICAL human being that is her perfect 👍 glove 🧤. Also don’t forget, revenge is only going to keep you at lower vibration! Being on L1, poor me, I am the victim. Noooooo, observing YOU from your higher self, will show you a better human soul and advancing on your soul evolution. I know now you may said BUT IT HURTS. I know! But be happy, he did it now!!!! And not make you waste more time! You can’t buy time in life. The 🔜 sooner someone or something said bye alone your path!!!! The sooner you are more blessed. Why? 🤷♀️You may said? My answer is… let’s said he play you alone… for 5 more years. Or even 8 /9 years! I am not ready. ( casual sex) then on 8 or 9 years later… you be watching your clock and youth go on bye. And yet you be waiting on a man/women, that WAS NEVER GOING TO COMIT!!!!!! Just string 🧶you alone. As you kept on watching your years go bye….. like the wind 🌬 💨 You would got to a point… and said A*%# why didn’t you said something SOONER!!!!!!! Ahhhh, now you see 😊 He just did you a favor. And wish him a blessings! So those good thoughts 💭 Come back to you like a bumernag🪃 From the UNIVERSE. Namaste 🙏 Smile …. The universe is watching you! LoL 😂 sending you LOVE!
@@pupdates2008so you wanna take revenge an a guy for having multiple responsibilities and obligations in his life. I think setting up a different date is a fair strategy. I am a guy and when i have issues/problems, i don't want to inconvenience others so i withdraw. The problem is mine alone and i think others don't deserve to suffer along with me. Once i am done fixing the issue then comes a period for a reward, which is spending time with my most favourite person (you). That's when i reach out and if you take revenge on guy after getting his shit sorted then you need some professional help because that's too cruel.
This happened to me in my last connection. I was so in love with him. He began getting distant so I asked if there was a problem and if he preferred to end the connection. He said no, apologized, and said he'd do better. In which he did. However, he soon fell off do I left the connection. He made me feel so undesired, undervalued, and a level of sadness I had never felt. Shattered my heart for no apparent reason. I was very good to him. Haven't spoken with him since. I'm still healing and getting myself together.
Sadly, this is often the case when you become direct. Ghosting is the least direct path a man can take. Unfortunately, when you go direct he will also choose the less direct path of lying about his interest fading. He will even put it back on you. Just wait and see and if you still feel uneasy be gone. Him pulling away means he knows it's not going to work before you do.
What I’ve found that works for me is to assume he is legitimately busy and that it doesn’t have to do with me. That helps me get a little perspective and space. And remind myself that I’m going to be fine even if he does pull away. I’ve got me.
If a man says that is his way of dealing with stress (ghosting or ignoring) and he isn't going to change, walk away babe. You're better than that. Life is too short and there is someone else out there seeking you. God's redirection is your protection.
Absolutely handling it with class is so important. You have to come from a place of knowing that you are enough and deserving of love, and carrying yourself with that knowledge.
I do agree. You have to love yourself respect yourself and believe in yourself and your worth first. A man in my life I consider a "bonus" I do not count on him to make me happy. I do not need my man I just want him. I might be sad if it does not work, but I will survive whatever happens, and yes he knows that.....
Well...some men LOVE a good chase. Will try to encite it figuring you obviously don't want him then. So the "chase" thing goes both ways-they need to run together-take turns chasing for a while-truce! 😝 If he pulls away and you don't respond, he's gone.
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I remind myself that I am worthy, I am the prize, then i invest in myself by working out and taking care of my body, i work on my goals and connect with my friends.It works like magic!
Let him go, I no longer do the in & out especially if i' m ghosted/ ignored, I know my worth , you missed a good thing and that' s your loss, I don' t pressure or chase and I continue to focus on myself💗💗💗
1. Build the belief: Him or someone better still. 2. Pay attention on how he is showing up or handling this moment. 3. Go direct and ask him. Ask him what’s going on, over conversation, not text.
@@amazynga8868 Oh honey, if he doesn't have a clear plan, stay away from him. A man who can't say when he will go and see you is an impossible relationship.
Hmmm……The guy I was with for 13 months became distant both physically and emotionally over a couple of weeks. I asked him ‘are you okay? You seem to have a lot on your mind and feel distant.’ He denied there was anything wrong. I noticed his texts also became shorter and more formal. So I asked if we could talk and went to see him. I explained how I felt and asked him how he felt things were going. That’s when he admitted he didn’t feel that we could move any further in our relationship and broke things off. No big arguments, all very calm. So I’ve taken him at his word and not made contact for eight weeks. He’s not made any contact either. So I guess he decided he wasn’t that in to me after all! Such is life. I’m still hurting, but I have great friends and family, so I’m getting on with my life. I’m not turning into a wailing hermit for someone who doesn’t reciprocate my feelings and I’m keeping things in perspective. I’m widowed so I’ve faced and come through worse things than being dumped 😊
That’s all it takes though… just a basic conversation. Words and adult grown up conversations like grown ups have. It’s not hard and it’s truly disrespectful to just ghost. Damn boys!!!
PhillyD: Thank you for sharing this. I'm fairly newly widowed after 37 years of an incredible marriage. I have ideas about dating but admit I feel apprehensive about opening my heart if it isn't the right person. I appreciate Mat's advice and since I'm not quite ready to start dating yet, feel that I have time to put together a game plan. So I very much appreciate the bravery of people like yourself who are willing to share experiences.
He'll come back after the girl he chose to go with gets tired of him or dumps him .some do realize that there's not much in common or that they can't provide what you need of them and get scared and unwilling to try and waste time .the third one is as I said they were talking to 1 or multiple girls and felt more chemistry towards them .especially if you guys met on a dating site/app and no man not woman will ever admit to that I never did ..being real and sincere shows that he has great character and it's better that he did the right thing instead of string you along and show only mild interest/interactions .I know it hurts but sometimes an explanation is better than being ghosted with no answers I wish you a better experience the next time around as life has something so much better for you !
I experienced this twice in my relationship. First, near beginning of our dating. He pulled away. I went 30+ days no contact unless he contacted me. Then went direct. Went to see him in person. Had the conversation. He was fearful he couldn't be what I needed as he works away from home 6 months of year. Obviously there was something special about this guy. We worked through this and 4+ years later, here we are. Being in our 60's, no future is promised but we are living, loving, each day together. ❤
You’re accommodating his situation in the hopes of getting a commitment from him. Good luck with that. Thats not living. Its mind f king each other. You two seem to love it though. Awesome!!
@@byefelicia8632 no I was not accommodating 'his' situation. I was letting him know I understood it and was reassuring him that I wanted to see where our relationship could go. Not every woman can handle a working away from home partner. I can. Trust. Commitment. And chemistry and interest are the reasons in the beginning. They grow into something real or not. In our case, they grew. 5+ years together ❤
I’m literally crying reading this .. it’s so beautiful .. I love my boyfriend so much amd we are arguing and not talking for the millionth time and he always does come back .. but it’s so tough just waiting for him cause he’s my best friend and I just want to be with him ..but I give him his space to always process .. it just hurts in between
Matt, you are absolutely right! We need to be our own advocate. Never run after a man. If he truly cares about you, he won’t be wishy washy, or leave you hanging and thinking.
I usually understand when a relationship is over, but I do appreciate true talk. Letting someone try to hang on to something that doesn't exist anymore is a bit cruel. I'm usually the one who provokes the conversation. "If it's over, please tell me and let me advance in my life instead of waiting".
When he pulls away, I lost interest too. It’s such a turn off that I couldn’t look at that guy again. Because if he really liked me he would not pull away (and I’m not talking about pulling away for couple of days). Life can be very miserable with the wrong person. 🤷♀️
The old pulling away act has happened to me three times where I really cared. I'd cry and moan to my friends, relatives, the dog, anyone who would listen, but leave him completely alone. The problem is that when he came back usually within three months, I really didn't care about him anymore and I had moved on. Yep, three months is usually how long it takes for him to change his mind about me and I about him. Why would anyone want to be with a person like that for a lifetime is beyond me.
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Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. For me, If a guy pull away, I just ignore him and let him go. I have my own standard and never chase a man.
Ok, I'm going to be brutally honest with this one: Girls , guys pull away because they loose interest. It's either because they already benefited from you, got what they want and moved to the next one, or, because they can't meet your standards (if you want a high quality relationship/ to be taken seriously and he doesn't want anything serious, etc). Just try not to rush things, keep your standards high, don't fall for false promises, don't rush into sleeping with them on the early stages of your relationship. Give time, in order for him to get to know you enough to invest in your relationship. He needs to be there for you, as much as you want, not when he just have the time to do so. Remember, it's a man's job to chase. It's a man's job to conquer. And it's your job to make him crave for more. Be smart. 😏😉
Penny You are absolutely right! They pull away/ say their busy for the reasons you mentioned. A woman should focus on getting to know the guy, trying to establish a connection instead of sleeping with him and trying to rush the relationship in general. Be confident and be a bit mysterious. Don’t tell him your whole life story all at once. And stay busy with your life. Have other interests.
Exactly! I felt the same. After he had what he wanted and felt that the thrill is gone then that's it. He loose interest but I am happy that he did it. I am more at peace than before when we were still in contact. Everything happens for a reason and that reason will always be the best for us. Let go and let God. #HaveFaith
What a load of bullshit no man should chase any woman as a woman shouldn't chase a man both sees should know there self worth have enough self respect I would never chase any man if they or myself are interested just tell them too many people play stupid mind games that's why so many in wrong relationships and on there own communication is always the key to any relationship
If you have to ask for something more than once, it most likely wasn't worth it in the first place. Detach and go 'no contact' and make them think why they behavior isn't exceptable, but don't question yourself or chase them. Let them run to you. Act like you couldn't care less about them. Once they do text or call you remind them that your time is valuable and you also have responsibilities too.
I learned about men pulling away in that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, book. I usually just give men their space and I don't take it personally.
When a man doesn't want to be with you or if he doesn't care about you, he's not going to talk to you about why he's not interested, they aren't wired like that so YOU move forward in yourself!! If you've developed a relationship and mutual love/care for each other, then he'll communicate. So if he's leaving early on, he's not interested or he's processing. Either way, step away and let him do it. Don't contact him asking why. If u meet someone new in the meantime, great, if he comes back and u wanna try again, great.
For all this time, I have been trying different strategies to "keep" a guy until I met this man. Dating him made me realise that I just have to be myself (ofc this doesn't include being selfish etc - if so, need to fix this). I didn't even have to use the push and pull technique. He's always been there for me regardless. Now I think if I have to use all kinds of techniques (which I think is sort of manipulative in nature) then this guy is not for me and I'll just let him go. If he's the guy, you don't need to use this push and pull technique whatsoever. Just be yourself.
Asking him what he wants in your relationship shows you are confident enough to put him on the spot. That will also stop all guessing. His answer & the way he answers tells you where his heart is.
I haven't messaged him for a while too. Never disturbed him, then he came back texting like nothing happened. So what I did is I act cold.. Then out of the blue he asked if I still want him. Sometimes you have to let them taste their own medicine.
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You're truly an amazing and remarkable person. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend ended things. He said he needed space, and while it broke my heart, I couldn’t blame him. There were no big arguments just… over. I’m struggling to accept that it’s really the end and that I might never hear from him again. I miss him so much.
I just want to say; I am in a happy relationship with two kids but I still love watching you because you are so positive and full of good vibes and good for self confidence!
I love that third step to call him and ask directly what is happening and how that will reveal how he handles a difficult conversation because if you two are going forward it’s going to be a skill that both men and women want in a partner. Not easy to do but the outcome should be a game changer
Mat gave the best advice I carry till today, " You can't screw the right thing " and he's totally right, I carry this with confidence and it gave me more chance to open up more to guys, am happier now, thanks Matt!
unfortunately, when I feel someone pull away, I pull away and will end the relationship. This is something I'm working on but I know it comes from a fear of rejection. I want to "reject" him by ending things before he ends things with me
I've been there a few years ago, after working on my life and my happiness, it's so much easier to face this head on without trying to push the other away. You can achieve the same as well, all the best!
You still need to give someone else chance to love, but you need to be careful who you fall in love with ♥️❤️❤️❤️ love is a beautiful thing it makes you more happier.
@@chinancyk7780 I’m not stopping anyone from loving me. And I have a lot of love in my life, love is not derived from another person, my friend. At 55 years old, I’m just not sure I want to be in a ‘romantic’ relationship. But yes to love, always! 😃❤️
@@chinancyk7780 yeah but its pk to be single and happy too. Everyone is different and they choose how to live their lives. We don't all need to be dating and in relationships.
some people suffer from mental health and they pull way and they need space to sort things out. its its nothing to do with your relationship. a lot of the time it's do with how they are feeling. be patient and give them time. love them and support them. be there for them.
When he's gone... Have a good time & maintain your beauty. He'll be back. He's probably gonna lie about his whereabouts. Accept him as he is or leave him out of your life. He's going to keep doing the same thing regardless.
I just employed these tactics due to this very circumstance. He unleashed in a rage towards me. It was the reaction and circumstances that lead to us breaking up. It was the final sign that he wasn’t the one for me. I am free😊
I really don’t get the point why guys pull away and act distant to their partner during stressful times while they can just talk it out maturely I mean it’s so easy like:hey I’ve been having a stressful time and i want to be on my own for sometime. Isn’t that way better than disappearing all of a sudden and make ur partner wonder what she has POSSIBLY done wrong that u’re acting this way? The funny part is that y’all think it’s always women who should “handle” this situation and there’s no content out there on how guys should behave in ways that can make the situation pass a lot easier
Hi Matt! Thank you for blessing us all with this information. I am in an AMAZING relationship now and I still listen to your teachings to remain my best self. Your messages keep me grounded. When I felt my love fall back a bit, I checked in with myself prior to communicating with him which is was helpful to our relationship. He needed space to rejuvenate and was so grateful that I gave him the time to do so. He actually praised me for being supportive and understanding, and we both became closer. Again, thanks for your messages; have a wonderful day! ☀️
Finally someone who brings together this emotional, feeling-related topic in a clever, clear, human, grounded way without any "you must" and without manipulative ideas or without psycho-games. Anyway it can be a painful process, but even if I am not super-balanced and strong right now ( but that s ok, I embrace my vulnerability, so-called "bad" feelings and my desire for closeness :) I feel very supported by a very healthy and clear way of seeing the situation. Thank you for that!
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after being separated for 4months . All thanks to Mr Ali whom help me to get back my ex again, I will suggest y'all get help from him and it works within 4days
I like first being direct and asking what is up. It's more confident to be direct and inquire than it is just float off. Pride will make you want to float off, but it's more self-respecting to address the issue before leaving. It also encourages him to open up and be direct about his own feelings in the event that he's trying to ghost with no guilt. If he still doesn't open up and continues to pull away, you have your answer.
if there is one place i need serenity and peace it's with a man i deeply care about, this is a place i don't appreciate guessing games, mind games, or confusion...if it happens - I will pull away almost permanently. I like a man who is strong in his convictions, what he believes in and gives me the courtesy of been vulnerable enough to talk to me - closing off send red flags to me - if he needs a few days or needs time with his lads then take it, but don't shut me out. He should think about how it would feel if it was him. Basically, be a genuine gentleman.
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Yeah what’s this conditioning people to accept being discarded or not treated well. People need to not be cowards and be honest. The psychological harm that comes from ghosting is research literature.
Arc, you're 100% correct. It's absolutely not okay for someone to pull away from a relationship and leave the other person hanging. I've been on both ends and I've learnt from it...
Thank you, for some reason i always thought confronting someone for “pulling away” (even in a very loving kind manner cause i am careful), was the thing that ruined relationships for me, for putting too much ‘pressure’. But guess what, i asked him about his intentions before i saw this video and he didn’t handle it well at all. saying he was tired and ignoring me for days. I don’t need that in my life. He needed to be transparant about his shift in energy. So i did the right thing, filtered out the garbage. ❤
my guy pulled away about 3 months after being together. He didn't even look at me or talk to me and we were always in the same place. I played it cool like nothing changed in my life. I caught him looking at me quite a bit. Then I would have small talk with him. Then one day we were in this place by ourselves so I walked right up to him and asked him if we were going to talk like friends again which was one of the things we always enjoyed each other. He started acting that he wanted to talk and we did. Then one day he came up to me and said he played a certain song on the juke box. It was "you are a hard habit to break and I am addicted to you." He could not get me off of his mind. We slowly got back to being ourselves we were before. Now he wants us to be known as a couple. I found out he was talking about me all the time to friends. He needed this time to figure things out how he really felt and needed some approval from his family and close friends. See we are 22 years apart. Everyone said age is just a number and asked him was he happy with me, which is the important thing!
Strategy I just used TODAY! 1. Are you doing alright you seem not your usual wonderful self, what’s up Babe? Him: I’m ok love 2. Okay, you just seem extremely quiet & a bit distant Him: just trying to get my mind right Next thing I said was just reminded him of how great he is, why I love him and just spoke encouragement from my ❤️ the way I see it regardless of why he’s withdrawn I want him to feel respected, loved, supported & appreciated! I then let him know that I’m here for him and left it at that. 😊 hopefully he’ll open up & share or we’ll just go back to normal or even better. Either way, I’m confident everything will be fine.
Good advice for a guy who is maybe having a bad day etc. If he was really pulling away, he wouldn't call you "Love" and he wouldn't give an explanation, he would say something like. "I'm fine, and you"?
The direct part honestly solves so much. Once they blow u off directly its so much easier for u to be OVER IT. That also screws them over too cause then they dont keep u around for the ego boost lol
Hi matt, I've been seeing my boyfriend for 10 months now and we have managed to talk about this stage where we are. It is exactly what you are talking about where the discussion of whether when and how to proceed to the next level is there. He communicated the need for space and time. And we have been communicating openly about it. It really brings in some fear but you're right, it may be a process men really do need to go through .
Love this! So inspiring! My mind has been completely consumed by thoughts of him. It’s been six months since he left, and the pain of losing him feels like a physical ache. The laughter, the memories, the adventures sadly, it’s all gone. I’ve tried everything to distract myself, but the harder I try, the more I find myself thinking about him. How do people let go and move on? It’s been months, yet the memories of him are still so vivid. I miss him more than words can say.
After my last failed relationship.ive learned a lot of lessons from a Narc ex.now im in a new relationship and i had a mindset that if he pulls away i give space and i never initiate to pursue i just live my life just like when i was before i met him.whatever happen i told myself i will be ok and pursue my own goal. Coz i dont want to stress myself thinking about it. I will live my life without him.and no second chance instead i say next!!
I went out with a guy for 4dates. We are both introvert people. We had good time for the first 3 dates. I was the one asking him if he wanted to hang out for 2nd,3rd and 4th dates. During the 4th date, he went quiet most of the time and it was awkward. I didn’t want to say something at that time. It bothers me for 2 days after the 4th date. So I decided to call him and ask if he was ok, was there something bothering him or if I did something wrong. He just told me “I’m just like that sometimes and there was nothing to talk about.”……… At that moment, I know I won’t ask him out again, I’ll let him decide if he wants to contact me and meet again. I don’t want to chase him, like I did with my ex bf. There are plenty of guys out there, maybe he is not the one for me.
Been through that. He just acted distant . Like it really hurts 😪 no matter how I message him , nothing was effective . And so, I just accepted the fact that He's not the one for me .
Jenny Don’t ask him out - he should have been asking you. Especially in the first few dates at least. It’s different if you’ve been dating a month or two and you ask him if he wants to see a movie that’s coming out that you want to see - something along those lines. But the man must do the asking for the first couple of months at least.
I found that texting or calling him telling him something interesting that has happened or is happening or that he is interested in helps alot you get him talking and communicating more makes him more comfortable with you
Hi Mat, thats exactly what i did, i called him directly and i told him my opinion and since then he is the one now calling/texting me every single moment he has. And thats where i noticed conversation is the most important thing especially in a distance relationship! Thanks for your advices.
Please quick question, were you two just dating or you're in a relationship? The guy I have gone on 3 dates with now, I am feeling him being distant a bit plus updating his dating profile. He said he is very busy with this week tho. So I am not sure how to approach this.
@@winniejake144 how do u know he updated his dating profile? Worse u can do is looking in his profiles. U guys are just dating meaning im 100% sure he is keeping his options open...or talking to others. U do u ...continue talking others .. or just asl him whats up ..
Ask yourself, can you remember any man that was legitimately into you ever pulling away for more than say, a day? A person who is about you won't want you to worry about their interest more than a little bit here and there. More than a day of worry is showing a lack of interest. Remember, he may say otherwise if confronted, but pulling away cannot become a pattern without something being significantly wrong. Also realize that this pulling away is bad for you. Do you really want to fall for someone who constantly puts you through something so negative?
Makes sense, but people have different rhythms. My ex-boyfriend was always calling and texting, at some point I had to tell him, please, I need my peace, let's talk tomorrow or something. I need to get to miss you 😂 We were together for years and broke up over other (serious) things
When a man pulls away, I assume he’s lost interest, so I simply move on. Usually that is the case. But depending on the guy, and the level of interest they’ve shown before and how serious they are, I will reach out if I haven’t heard from them in a while. I’ll ask them why they’ve been distant. Some have good reasons, and with these men I try to take it slow with them. A little bit of absence of someone you like can create desire or feelings… if he liked me he would always come back
He can communicate he just chooses not to the only acceptable reason is if he's working out of the country or a family member is sick and he's the only caregiver .and trust me if they suddenly change the amount of attention/physical Intimacy that they give compared to before theyre talking to someone else or cheating
The first sign that he pulls away ie: less phone calls, what I call "light" excuses why he cant see me, and overall vagueness, I stop. Instantly, stop. If he doesn't call, I dont call. If he isn't available to spend time together, I dont pursue. If he's vague, I don't press. It Never works. Ever. Unfortunately and fortunately, I'm so numb to rejection now, I just move on.
He broke up with me abruptly, I tried no contact but ended up texting him after a week. He then started telling me how sorry and regrettable he was, he didn’t want to lose me and asked for forgiveness. So I forgave him and took him back. Within a few days of forgiving him, he went offline for 19hrs- said he’s going out with old friends, then again went off for 18hrs same excuse! I woke up tired, no text no confronting, deleted and blocked him and moved on. He never tried to contact me again! My advice; when they show you who they’re first time believe them! Never take a man back who broke up with you for no good reason. Never look back when he shows signs of disrespect or disinterest.
Certainly, I agree with number 3 advice. Everything you said is true. To resolve any gaps in communication is to talk positively. That will surprise him... Many thanks! Mat, you're an amazing guy, your wife is lucky to have you. Keep it up 🙏🏼
I've not experienced this in about 3 years but if I were to predict: I'd continue living a purpose-filled life, Mat. Living authentically is learning to live IN PURPOSE, ON PURPOSE. Lots of self-governance in my statement AND as you've so elequently mentioned (I'm stating it slightly different): "God's chosen him OR I should look forward to someone He has hand-picked." Heey! 💃🏽
God is the major source of Love. Dear beautiful ladies, make Him the first source, you wouldn't act needy to guys then. Its strong and independent place to be in and help in relations.
Thank you Matt for the great advice I had this happen to me my boyfriend of 10 years kept leaving me every weekend to be with his mom & Dad. He should be with me he told me his parents are getting older now so he wants to help them he stays there all weekend comes into the city goes to work and comes to my house to eat and sleep I feel like a second mom of his. He kept on leaving even on special holidays I told his not to come back and we have not spoken to each other since last Christmas.
As painful As it is. I'm giving him space. However, preparing myself for the worst. I'm keeping busy, getting my life together. Sorting through stuff. I've got myself a new number waiting on my new phone to come in. I already did my crying. I'm going through my process of grief. I'm also giving myself time not to do anything stupid such as cheat on him out of hurt or rejection. At night, I put my phone someplace where it can't be reached easily. I go to sleep.
Yes It's a good idea to use the pulling away as a time to prepare for the worst. Men are not dumb and they know that if they neglect you they risk losing you. Don't entertain men who take the risk of losing you lightly.
By far the best advice I’ve seen on this topic, and I’ve watched a ton because I’m in this space at the moment. Short quick to the point, and great advice. Sometimes we know these things but it makes it a little more acceptable when you hear someone else say it, thanks!
I feel that when they pull away it really is important to understand how you truly feel about what is happening and then what is it that you really want from someone in a relationship. Leave them out of the equation for a moment. It's so easy to make it about them first that you overlook all of these things you knew you wanted to find yourself months or even years in a relationship that you do not want. 🤗💚
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This is the best video on this subject!! My guy pulled back; this is great advice to give him space but to also believe in love abundance!! Luckily he’s still showing up. Awesome advice, thank you!
I had a situationship with a friend. Great chemistry, we were having fun. But then I caught feelings and when I told him, he pulled away . When I asked em why, he said he did this so I lose feelings but it hurt me a lot. I realized I was just obsessed with him, not in love, and I still want a friend back. For now I haven’t talked to him, decided to give him space.
4 years is long enough for both of you to decide, I think you should move on too, just let go to be with someone who won't string you along. A friend of mine was "dating" a guy for 6 years, his friend met a woman and within 6 months they were married! If a guy is dating you longer than 2 years he's not thinking of marriage anymore, just the sad fact. Go do your thing, when he decides to call you ever again be VERY BUSY and don't budge to give him anymore of your precious time, (you've already given him 4 YEARS) find the right man who won't leave you hanging in doubt! 💕 Trust me on this!
You deserve a man who cherishes you and treats you like a Queen. Make room for him cos this one doesNt sound like he is up to the task. You deserve more and there are plenty of good men looking for a woman like you
Thanks for those advices. I had a good conversation over the phone when he pulled away. I told him I had great time with him but I had sensed some distance. I told him that we both rushed and felt the same and that need time to think. I assured him I understand and in case he needs to talk!, he can always call.
I definitely do the first step. Then I listen to affirmations that put me in the receiving mode of every beautiful thing I am deserving of. I put all my energy back into me. I give him one day of no communication but anything after, it’s safe to say that I don’t deserve that. Byeee… If he is communicating but barely, I’m not going to accept that unless I did something wrong. Only grown men need apply.
2:04 ... so true... he disappeared for 2 months and I was so heartbroken. But I left him alone. And he messaged me that he missed me on fb. I didnt see it for a month. I finally saw it we reconnected and well its been 3 years and we have a baby now
Matt, I want to thank you so much for this ! The timing and me seeing this , I know , was meant for me ! I am actually going through this right now. And I needed a man’s perspective on what to do or how to react. The last words I heard was , “ I love you, baby!” That was a little over a week ago. I needed this video to realize reality. Also, I needed to realize that you have even experienced this. Yes, you are so right , he is not the source of love- there is a greater source that brings the soulmate type of partner ! I needed this confidence! Thank You so much!!
The best thing to do when a man pulls is to say or do absolutely nothing expect moving forward and never looking back. You are worth so much more and you don't need to deal with unhealthy guys who play silly little mind games...
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I 100% just leave the person alone. It's a major turn off to me and nonsense. It's best to just work on yourself to release yourself of that attachment and pain of needing them especially if you know you did nothing wrong. Sometimes they could be under money stress or stress at work, some have depression or bipolar problems, other times they are upset at you for some reason unknown or maybe they are seeing someone else. Whatever the hell it is, I have zero tolerance to hang around with someone who chooses to leave me in the dark about things. They have a mouth they can open it. I can't stand to be with someone who can't open their mouth to communicate at least 2 sentences. Silent treatment is immature, I don't care what stress you have, they should be considerate to a woman period. If women keep enabling this silent treatment behavior from their lovers, nothing's going to change. I do believe in giving space for sure, but at least they can be honest and say something. But then again a lot of women can't handle the truth so many of times men are not always comfortable with opening up. Life's too short to be with a closed up person. If that's their style to shut down and not at least explain why they are pulling away or need space then to me it's not worth it, they will always do it again in the future, using that as their coping mechanism. Been there done that, it amounts to nothing. I am a psychic and a dating coach for women as well and I sadly see my female clients suffer from this way too much. Just walk away, these guys don't change and trying to learn all these tactics just to keep them will make you miserable and feel stupid and desperate. Not worth it having to jump through hoops for a guy and fly to the moon just because you can't be alone with yourself. Face your fears and pain, don't worry about men. That's how you can start loving you better. 💗
This was so empowering for women to hear!! You TRULY get us and want the best for us (..if you’re not already, you would make an amazing girl-dad, btw) Thank you and God bless you!!🙏🏽
I don't chase after him but give him space and time and patiently wait to see when, what and how he makes the next move on you. Bottomline - never chase after him but give time and space to take its own course.
When a man pulls back, what you do? *YOU LEAVE!!!!* Ghost, block, and *delete!!!* He does not get to pass _GO._ He does not get _the benefit of the doubt._ He does not get _another chance._ And he does not get a place in your social media. Your youth, beauty, passtimes/hobbies, career, education, and *TIME* are way too valuable to be trying to _get a man to commit._ A man that does not want to commit *to you,* you let him go. Men are like buses: there's a new one every 20 minute, whether you're 16 years old or 600 years old.
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@@jasminejamez Don't bother with this dude. Give *YOURSELF* what *YOU* desire the most. If *HE* wanted to, *HE WOULD!* After all, I'm the one who's been married 10+ years. I'm speaking out of experience. I ditched all these dumb men who played bullshiit _bait-and-switch_ shiit tests, games, and got rid of all of them. Why? Because I wanted a real man... and found a man who desired me and was all in. No games, no _shiit test,_ just commitment. These male dating coaches just want women to cater to men with little reward for ourselves.
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Read through all the comments n it made me realize let the door hit them that pulled back on the way out they were not the one. Everyone trying you are courageous n vulnerable n deserve love dont give up on you.
You just ask; “Hey, I’m seeing you (insert behaviors that seem distant and evasive) and it seems you’re distancing yourself from me. Can we talk about that?” It’s really that simple. If he calmly and rationally explains to you what’s going on and it has nothing to do with your relationship, then you’ve opened a door for intimacy and connection. If he acts defensive and critical of you, run for the hills. That’s a red flag of a man that is probably hiding something from you and doesn’t really want a healthy relationship with you.
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What if he doesn't receive my calls and ghosts me? I mean he doesn't even read texts either and whenever he does, there is no reply. But a couple of times he has heart reacted to a message
What if ur flirting & sexual active with ur ex & after awhile he turns off his read receipts, says things but doesn't keep his words or promises, wont add u on social media when he says he will, and then makes plans with u but doesn't talk at all the next day & doesn't read any messages & he's older.... but hes done this in the past too but i thought we moved forward after our talk & everything.
I tried this and he ignored me completely
Wow so so good good advice thank you to bring him up to give a good advice yeah me and Annette from Uganda but I like so white man who serious I like so white man who was serious in the relationship with me serious one who are going to marry me but I'm not fine I'm just put up someone says with your heart just leave you like that but let me follow you I'm here ring everything thank you so much to give us a device or serious in the relationship I'm going to put my hair to hearing you everyday even follow you thank you so much
@@rupalipawar92 he is thinking about you for that moment only, but not fully into you. So be careful. Liking is there but love has not happened yet. Nd hope both of you will surely find out quickly, if you wr perfect for each other or nt
The strategy that I always use when my person pulls away is this: I run away to the hills as fast as I can and it resulted in my person chasing me. And when it happened I lost my interest in them and I dumped them like a doormat. I believe that if your person is in love and sure about you. They don't have to pull away and give you anxiety. A healthy person does not play mind games in a relationship. So PULLING AWAY is a red flag.
I’m like this to I don’t like games
I think this is when they have other partners, so they gets confuse .😀
@@lindaboodram3850 So it is the same thing. Having multiple partners is a huge red flag! There is an infidelity issue!
Very well said I HIGHLY AGREE!!
True
It's better not to disturb the guy anymore. Be confident. Better things are coming your way.
@@ewatomialabi1006 I am in love again ! Don't want my ex back.
Voodoo is not cool. Imagine if some guy did this to you? Not right!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@josiecamilo7098 most of these people here commenting on videos like these in this way (whatsapp me, greatest voodoo practicioner of all time etc etc) are just s c a m m e r s
@@ewatomialabi1006 I wanted my rx back and it was an emotional nightmare that I stayed in because I loved him so much. I will never go back for seconds with an ex after that. Now, I trust that if it didn't work out it's for the best. Bye Felicia 👋
'What meant to be yours, will always be yours '.. 🌌 never chase , but attract
True!
Bingoo
Yesss❤
💞💋D€£!nit€|¥💞💋
But then if no one is chasing then no one is attracting
If a guy pulls back get busy with your own life. And when he steps forward again and asks you to go on a date, “sorry I’m busy, however I’m available on a certain day next week”. Just be busy with your own life so it doesn’t feel empty.
Why tell him you are busy? If he comes back its the best time to serve him a hot revenge.. He need to learn to learn some lesson otherwise he will break multiple womens hearts...
@@pupdates2008 hi, don’t forget we come to experience life lessons on this beautiful planet 🌎 called earth.
In my case I thank him 🙏 and I evaluated ME. Bcs the reflection her was… I am not any more.
You get it?
You reflection mirror 🪞 is what the universe pair you up with!
So by him leaving, that means either he put grew YOU! And there is a better part of YOU! That he is NOT Matching. Or you when lower on the best version of you. And there forth the Universe said…. Wait! This two souls are not a match made in heaven Any more….. Bcs you outgrow him.
We have a better person for her. Bcs she is being a nicer soul …. There forth she deserves a better more IDENTICAL human being that is her perfect 👍 glove 🧤.
Also don’t forget, revenge is only going to keep you at lower vibration!
Being on L1, poor me, I am the victim.
Noooooo, observing YOU from your higher self, will show you a better human soul and advancing on your soul evolution.
I know now you may said BUT IT HURTS.
I know!
But be happy, he did it now!!!! And not make you waste more time!
You can’t buy time in life.
The 🔜 sooner someone or something said bye alone your path!!!!
The sooner you are more blessed.
Why? 🤷♀️You may said?
My answer is… let’s said he play you alone… for 5 more years. Or even 8 /9 years! I am not ready. ( casual sex) then on 8 or 9 years later… you be watching your clock and youth go on bye. And yet you be waiting on a man/women, that WAS NEVER GOING TO COMIT!!!!!! Just string 🧶you alone.
As you kept on watching your years go bye….. like the wind 🌬 💨
You would got to a point… and said
A*%# why didn’t you said something SOONER!!!!!!!
Ahhhh, now you see 😊
He just did you a favor.
And wish him a blessings!
So those good thoughts 💭
Come back to you like a bumernag🪃
From the UNIVERSE.
Namaste 🙏
Smile …. The universe is watching you!
LoL 😂 sending you LOVE!
Perfect advice.
@@pupdates2008But your advice is truly not optimal.
@@pupdates2008so you wanna take revenge an a guy for having multiple responsibilities and obligations in his life.
I think setting up a different date is a fair strategy.
I am a guy and when i have issues/problems, i don't want to inconvenience others so i withdraw. The problem is mine alone and i think others don't deserve to suffer along with me. Once i am done fixing the issue then comes a period for a reward, which is spending time with my most favourite person (you). That's when i reach out and if you take revenge on guy after getting his shit sorted then you need some professional help because that's too cruel.
This happened to me in my last connection. I was so in love with him. He began getting distant so I asked if there was a problem and if he preferred to end the connection. He said no, apologized, and said he'd do better. In which he did. However, he soon fell off do I left the connection. He made me feel so undesired, undervalued, and a level of sadness I had never felt. Shattered my heart for no apparent reason. I was very good to him. Haven't spoken with him since. I'm still healing and getting myself together.
You deserve the world not to mention the efforts. You won in this case love. 💜 #fuckhim 🙃
@Vina I hear you and sorry you had to experience that.
It stinks that some people can’t have enough respect to communicate and own their stuff:(
So sorry
Im on the same situation right now 😭
Sadly, this is often the case when you become direct. Ghosting is the least direct path a man can take. Unfortunately, when you go direct he will also choose the less direct path of lying about his interest fading. He will even put it back on you. Just wait and see and if you still feel uneasy be gone. Him pulling away means he knows it's not going to work before you do.
What I’ve found that works for me is to assume he is legitimately busy and that it doesn’t have to do with me. That helps me get a little perspective and space. And remind myself that I’m going to be fine even if he does pull away. I’ve got me.
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.....
Love it!
So true! Thanks for sharing!
If he's legitimately busy then he has the responsibility to tell you that otherwise he's probably playing games.
@@sell3100 💯💯💯
I love that you said "half of finding the right guy is saying no to the wrong guy more quickly". Thank you so much :)
If a man says that is his way of dealing with stress (ghosting or ignoring) and he isn't going to change, walk away babe. You're better than that. Life is too short and there is someone else out there seeking you. God's redirection is your protection.
Exactly that
@Lora yes GOD will be the one to answer, have faith and keep praying
Is it God protecting us from him or God protecting him from us?..
Absolutely handling it with class is so important. You have to come from a place of knowing that you are enough and deserving of love, and carrying yourself with that knowledge.
Absolutely self love and self worth is important.
Yeah, but the Titanic still sank even while the band played with class.
This comment 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I do agree. You have to love yourself respect yourself and believe in yourself and your worth first. A man in my life I consider a "bonus" I do not count on him to make me happy. I do not need my man I just want him. I might be sad if it does not work, but I will survive whatever happens, and yes he knows that.....
When he pulls away, I'll catch up with my friends, shopping, and spend time with myself.
Don't chase him. Value yourself highly as I do.
Yup I walked away. Need consistency . The end
Period! 📌
Well...some men LOVE a good chase. Will try to encite it figuring you obviously don't want him then. So the "chase" thing goes both ways-they need to run together-take turns chasing for a while-truce! 😝 If he pulls away and you don't respond, he's gone.
That's RIGHT!!!🎶💫🌈🍾🥂
If he pulls away he can stay away.
Adults discuss things not run away like a child.
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Message him on Whatsapp
Well said...
Communication is key
💯 Realest comment on here
Unless he is a Cancer...
I remind myself that I am worthy, I am the prize, then i invest in myself by working out and taking care of my body, i work on my goals and connect with my friends.It works like magic!
Preach
Let him go, I no longer do the in & out especially if i' m ghosted/ ignored, I know my worth , you missed a good thing and that' s your loss, I don' t pressure or chase and I continue to focus on myself💗💗💗
1. Build the belief: Him or someone better still.
2. Pay attention on how he is showing up or handling this moment.
3. Go direct and ask him. Ask him what’s going on, over conversation, not text.
Thanks for the summary.
But what if you’re long distance and all you can do is text, since he doesn’t feel like calling after an argument?
Long distance relationship 😢 what to do ? He committed verbally but walked away
@@amazynga8868 Oh honey, if he doesn't have a clear plan, stay away from him. A man who can't say when he will go and see you is an impossible relationship.
Hmmm……The guy I was with for 13 months became distant both physically and emotionally over a couple of weeks. I asked him ‘are you okay? You seem to have a lot on your mind and feel distant.’ He denied there was anything wrong. I noticed his texts also became shorter and more formal. So I asked if we could talk and went to see him. I explained how I felt and asked him how he felt things were going. That’s when he admitted he didn’t feel that we could move any further in our relationship and broke things off. No big arguments, all very calm. So I’ve taken him at his word and not made contact for eight weeks. He’s not made any contact either. So I guess he decided he wasn’t that in to me after all! Such is life. I’m still hurting, but I have great friends and family, so I’m getting on with my life. I’m not turning into a wailing hermit for someone who doesn’t reciprocate my feelings and I’m keeping things in perspective. I’m widowed so I’ve faced and come through worse things than being dumped 😊
PhillyD, believe me, he'll come back, though it might take 2 years.
Damn that sucks
That’s all it takes though… just a basic conversation. Words and adult grown up conversations like grown ups have. It’s not hard and it’s truly disrespectful to just ghost. Damn boys!!!
PhillyD: Thank you for sharing this. I'm fairly newly widowed after 37 years of an incredible marriage. I have ideas about dating but admit I feel apprehensive about opening my heart if it isn't the right person. I appreciate Mat's advice and since I'm not quite ready to start dating yet, feel that I have time to put together a game plan. So I very much appreciate the bravery of people like yourself who are willing to share experiences.
He'll come back after the girl he chose to go with gets tired of him or dumps him .some do realize that there's not much in common or that they can't provide what you need of them and get scared and unwilling to try and waste time .the third one is as I said they were talking to 1 or multiple girls and felt more chemistry towards them .especially if you guys met on a dating site/app and no man not woman will ever admit to that I never did ..being real and sincere shows that he has great character and it's better that he did the right thing instead of string you along and show only mild interest/interactions .I know it hurts but sometimes an explanation is better than being ghosted with no answers I wish you a better experience the next time around as life has something so much better for you !
I experienced this twice in my relationship. First, near beginning of our dating. He pulled away. I went 30+ days no contact unless he contacted me. Then went direct. Went to see him in person. Had the conversation. He was fearful he couldn't be what I needed as he works away from home 6 months of year. Obviously there was something special about this guy. We worked through this and 4+ years later, here we are. Being in our 60's, no future is promised but we are living, loving, each day together. ❤
That's an amazing story. Thanks for sharing
This inspired me. Thank you.
You’re accommodating his situation in the hopes of getting a commitment from him. Good luck with that. Thats not living. Its mind f king each other. You two seem to love it though. Awesome!!
@@byefelicia8632 no I was not accommodating 'his' situation. I was letting him know I understood it and was reassuring him that I wanted to see where our relationship could go. Not every woman can handle a working away from home partner. I can. Trust. Commitment. And chemistry and interest are the reasons in the beginning. They grow into something real or not. In our case, they grew. 5+ years together ❤
I’m literally crying reading this .. it’s so beautiful .. I love my boyfriend so much amd we are arguing and not talking for the millionth time and he always does come back .. but it’s so tough just waiting for him cause he’s my best friend and I just want to be with him ..but I give him his space to always process .. it just hurts in between
Matt, you are absolutely right! We need to be our own advocate. Never run after a man. If he truly cares about you, he won’t be wishy washy, or leave you hanging and thinking.
I usually understand when a relationship is over, but I do appreciate true talk. Letting someone try to hang on to something that doesn't exist anymore is a bit cruel. I'm usually the one who provokes the conversation. "If it's over, please tell me and let me advance in my life instead of waiting".
Well when you are relationship you can not. Move on without letting them know or getting sure because you were once committed to him
Yes they wanna keep u hanging my sending u money showing kindness n niceness etx but say oh I can’t marry u u know my situation
They r just bluffing
I like that
Yes ❤
"To attract the right guy you've gotta to be will to scare off the wrong guy", note taken.
When he pulls away, I lost interest too. It’s such a turn off that I couldn’t look at that guy again. Because if he really liked me he would not pull away (and I’m not talking about pulling away for couple of days). Life can be very miserable with the wrong person. 🤷♀️
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True i just deleted his number and i wanna just forget he exists
“To attract the right guy you got to be prepared to scare off the wrong guy”. This is a great statement 💚
Nice talk
The old pulling away act has happened to me three times where I really cared. I'd cry and moan to my friends, relatives, the dog, anyone who would listen, but leave him completely alone. The problem is that when he came back usually within three months, I really didn't care about him anymore and I had moved on. Yep, three months is usually how long it takes for him to change his mind about me and I about him. Why would anyone want to be with a person like that for a lifetime is beyond me.
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@@musaseid2417 how
When I guy pulls away
You walk away. Simple
Don't waste your energy girls
Just love yourself and enjoy life 🥂
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. For me, If a guy pull away, I just ignore him and let him go. I have my own standard and never chase a man.
Same thoughts
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Ok, I'm going to be brutally honest with this one:
Girls , guys pull away because they loose interest. It's either because they already benefited from you, got what they want and moved to the next one, or, because they can't meet your standards (if you want a high quality relationship/ to be taken seriously and he doesn't want anything serious, etc).
Just try not to rush things, keep your standards high, don't fall for false promises, don't rush into sleeping with them on the early stages of your relationship. Give time, in order for him to get to know you enough to invest in your relationship. He needs to be there for you, as much as you want, not when he just have the time to do so. Remember, it's a man's job to chase. It's a man's job to conquer. And it's your job to make him crave for more. Be smart. 😏😉
Penny You are absolutely right! They pull away/ say their busy for the reasons you mentioned. A woman should focus on getting to know the guy, trying to establish a connection instead of sleeping with him and trying to rush the relationship in general. Be confident and be a bit mysterious. Don’t tell him your whole life story all at once. And stay busy with your life. Have other interests.
Exactly! I felt the same. After he had what he wanted and felt that the thrill is gone then that's it. He loose interest but I am happy that he did it. I am more at peace than before when we were still in contact.
Everything happens for a reason and that reason will always be the best for us.
Let go and let God.
#HaveFaith
Best advise I have ever read! Thanks. ❤️
What a load of bullshit no man should chase any woman as a woman shouldn't chase a man both sees should know there self worth have enough self respect I would never chase any man if they or myself are interested just tell them too many people play stupid mind games that's why so many in wrong relationships and on there own communication is always the key to any relationship
Very true
If you have to ask for something more than once, it most likely wasn't worth it in the first place. Detach and go 'no contact' and make them think why they behavior isn't exceptable, but don't question yourself or chase them. Let them run to you. Act like you couldn't care less about them. Once they do text or call you remind them that your time is valuable and you also have responsibilities too.
Exactly
I learned about men pulling away in that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, book. I usually just give men their space and I don't take it personally.
That's a book? Sounds interesting!
Do they come back?
@@Gloria37913 same thoughts
@@Gloria37913 Yes typically they do come back.
@@MissDeTria Thanks!
When a man doesn't want to be with you or if he doesn't care about you, he's not going to talk to you about why he's not interested, they aren't wired like that so YOU move forward in yourself!! If you've developed a relationship and mutual love/care for each other, then he'll communicate. So if he's leaving early on, he's not interested or he's processing. Either way, step away and let him do it. Don't contact him asking why. If u meet someone new in the meantime, great, if he comes back and u wanna try again, great.
@@Frana1452 don't allow it, women get desperate and just deal with stuff, women need to stop letting men use their bodies without commitment
The best point that works for me always is building a belive either him or a better person will always come soon.
For all this time, I have been trying different strategies to "keep" a guy until I met this man. Dating him made me realise that I just have to be myself (ofc this doesn't include being selfish etc - if so, need to fix this). I didn't even have to use the push and pull technique. He's always been there for me regardless. Now I think if I have to use all kinds of techniques (which I think is sort of manipulative in nature) then this guy is not for me and I'll just let him go. If he's the guy, you don't need to use this push and pull technique whatsoever. Just be yourself.
Asking him what he wants in your relationship shows you are confident enough to put him on the spot. That will also stop all guessing. His answer & the way he answers tells you where his heart is.
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I haven't messaged him for a while too. Never disturbed him, then he came back texting like nothing happened. So what I did is I act cold.. Then out of the blue he asked if I still want him. Sometimes you have to let them taste their own medicine.
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How did you respond when he asked if you still want him?
@@shuesther I don't want him at that time already.. pursued my self worth.. so I said no.. 😊
Block him and never speak to him again. Life’s too short to be dealing with unnecessary anxiety and stress.
Dont block him just delete his number and continue with your life
@@jaelesilaba1404 why not block him?
I block them as well eventhough it takes so much will to do so
Exactly that’s what I do, I don’t chase I know my value I block them and life continues this makes me feel better.
@@jaelesilaba1404 agreed
You're truly an amazing and remarkable person. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend ended things. He said he needed space, and while it broke my heart, I couldn’t blame him. There were no big arguments just… over. I’m struggling to accept that it’s really the end and that I might never hear from him again. I miss him so much.
I just want to say;
I am in a happy relationship with two kids but I still love watching you because you are so positive and full of good vibes and good for self confidence!
I love that third step to call him and ask directly what is happening and how that will reveal how he handles a difficult conversation because if you two are going forward it’s going to be a skill that both men and women want in a partner. Not easy to do but the outcome should be a game changer
Mat gave the best advice I carry till today, " You can't screw the right thing " and he's totally right, I carry this with confidence and it gave me more chance to open up more to guys, am happier now, thanks Matt!
I remind myself of that advice every day too 💕
Can I ask, what have you been opening up about? What you feel? Or need?
I think his advise sucked.
unfortunately, when I feel someone pull away, I pull away and will end the relationship. This is something I'm working on but I know it comes from a fear of rejection. I want to "reject" him by ending things before he ends things with me
I've been there a few years ago, after working on my life and my happiness, it's so much easier to face this head on without trying to push the other away.
You can achieve the same as well, all the best!
@@Toastiel thank you so much for your encouraging words!!!
The right guy will not pull away. The right guy will stick around or come back around. You got the wrong guys.
From experience, consider looking at attachment styles - you may be dismissive avoidant or fearful. Thais Gibson has some great videos
I do the same thing 😔
Gosh I’m so happy on my own that I honestly don’t know if I ever want to be in another romantic type of relationship! I meet all my needs. ☺️
You still need to give someone else chance to love,
but you need to be careful who you fall in love with ♥️❤️❤️❤️
love is a beautiful thing it makes you more happier.
@@chinancyk7780 I’m not stopping anyone from loving me. And I have a lot of love in my life, love is not derived from another person, my friend. At 55 years old, I’m just not sure I want to be in a ‘romantic’ relationship. But yes to love, always! 😃❤️
interesting - guess i’m doing “it” wrong because I like being in a relationship and don’t feel the same.
These covid days, too much alone time…
@@chinancyk7780 yeah but its pk to be single and happy too. Everyone is different and they choose how to live their lives. We don't all need to be dating and in relationships.
The 3rd step is me...i rather know his reason sooner than later...deal the outcome maturely..
some people suffer from mental health and they pull way and they need space to sort things out. its its nothing to do with your relationship. a lot of the time it's do with how they are feeling. be patient and give them time. love them and support them. be there for them.
When he's gone... Have a good time & maintain your beauty. He'll be back. He's probably gonna lie about his whereabouts. Accept him as he is or leave him out of your life. He's going to keep doing the same thing regardless.
I just employed these tactics due to this very circumstance. He unleashed in a rage towards me. It was the reaction and circumstances that lead to us breaking up.
It was the final sign that he wasn’t the one for me. I am free😊
I really don’t get the point why guys pull away and act distant to their partner during stressful times while they can just talk it out maturely
I mean it’s so easy like:hey I’ve been having a stressful time and i want to be on my own for sometime.
Isn’t that way better than disappearing all of a sudden and make ur partner wonder what she has POSSIBLY done wrong that u’re acting this way?
The funny part is that y’all think it’s always women who should “handle” this situation and there’s no content out there on how guys should behave in ways that can make the situation pass a lot easier
Because they are emotionally imimmature 😅
Exactly @@Sassy387
EPIC - “To attract the right guy, you have to be willing to scare off the wrong one” 💜💯😁
great advice. but the most important thing is what you said: doing things from a place of "non attachment" that takes real self control
Hi Matt! Thank you for blessing us all with this information. I am in an AMAZING relationship now and I still listen to your teachings to remain my best self. Your messages keep me grounded. When I felt my love fall back a bit, I checked in with myself prior to communicating with him which is was helpful to our relationship. He needed space to rejuvenate and was so grateful that I gave him the time to do so. He actually praised me for being supportive and understanding, and we both became closer. Again, thanks for your messages; have a wonderful day! ☀️
That’s really good self-awareness on your part 👏🏾
Finally someone who brings together this emotional, feeling-related topic in a clever, clear, human, grounded way without any "you must" and without manipulative ideas or without psycho-games. Anyway it can be a painful process, but even if I am not super-balanced and strong right now ( but that s ok, I embrace my vulnerability, so-called "bad" feelings and my desire for closeness :) I feel very supported by a very healthy and clear way of seeing the situation. Thank you for that!
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after being separated for 4months . All thanks to Mr Ali whom help me to get back my ex again, I will suggest y'all get help from him and it works within 4days
I like first being direct and asking what is up. It's more confident to be direct and inquire than it is just float off. Pride will make you want to float off, but it's more self-respecting to address the issue before leaving. It also encourages him to open up and be direct about his own feelings in the event that he's trying to ghost with no guilt. If he still doesn't open up and continues to pull away, you have your answer.
if there is one place i need serenity and peace it's with a man i deeply care about, this is a place i don't appreciate guessing games, mind games, or confusion...if it happens - I will pull away almost permanently. I like a man who is strong in his convictions, what he believes in and gives me the courtesy of been vulnerable enough to talk to me - closing off send red flags to me - if he needs a few days or needs time with his lads then take it, but don't shut me out. He should think about how it would feel if it was him. Basically, be a genuine gentleman.
YES, well said!
Even more so now- time is precious and if you don’t value communication and being in the moment- keep moving.
I so agree. He should be a man.not play games and act his age. We are both pensioners. I'm so fed up with playing games all the time.
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I think It’s not okay to pull back from a loving relationship and leave the other partner hanging.
Yeah what’s this conditioning people to accept being discarded or not treated well. People need to not be cowards and be honest. The psychological harm that comes from ghosting is research literature.
Exactly. I am married to back puller and it is not funny.😶
Arc, you're 100% correct. It's absolutely not okay for someone to pull away from a relationship and leave the other person hanging.
I've been on both ends and I've learnt from it...
@@truffaut650truffaut6 it's heartbreaking and will certainly kill me in the end.
Thank you, for some reason i always thought confronting someone for “pulling away” (even in a very loving kind manner cause i am careful), was the thing that ruined relationships for me, for putting too much ‘pressure’. But guess what, i asked him about his intentions before i saw this video and he didn’t handle it well at all. saying he was tired and ignoring me for days. I don’t need that in my life. He needed to be transparant about his shift in energy. So i did the right thing, filtered out the garbage. ❤
Btw he didnt pick up his phone when i called anymore so i send a very loving (but confronting) voice note.. same right?
my guy pulled away about 3 months after being together. He didn't even look at me or talk to me and we were always in the same place. I played it cool like nothing changed in my life. I caught him looking at me quite a bit. Then I would have small talk with him. Then one day we were in this place by ourselves so I walked right up to him and asked him if we were going to talk like friends again which was one of the things we always enjoyed each other. He started acting that he wanted to talk and we did. Then one day he came up to me and said he played a certain song on the juke box. It was "you are a hard habit to break and I am addicted to you." He could not get me off of his mind. We slowly got back to being ourselves we were before. Now he wants us to be known as a couple. I found out he was talking about me all the time to friends. He needed this time to figure things out how he really felt and needed some approval from his family and close friends. See we are 22 years apart. Everyone said age is just a number and asked him was he happy with me, which is the important thing!
Strategy I just used TODAY!
1. Are you doing alright you seem not your usual wonderful self, what’s up Babe?
Him: I’m ok love
2. Okay, you just seem extremely quiet & a bit distant
Him: just trying to get my mind right
Next thing I said was just reminded him of how great he is, why I love him and just spoke encouragement from my ❤️ the way I see it regardless of why he’s withdrawn I want him to feel respected, loved, supported & appreciated!
I then let him know that I’m here for him and left it at that. 😊 hopefully he’ll open up & share or we’ll just go back to normal or even better. Either way, I’m confident everything will be fine.
I love your approach, thank you for sharing it 🙏🏻💖✨
I like this approach im communicative as well ..
Good advice for a guy who is maybe having a bad day etc.
If he was really pulling away, he wouldn't call you "Love" and he wouldn't give an explanation, he would say something like. "I'm fine, and you"?
The direct part honestly solves so much. Once they blow u off directly its so much easier for u to be OVER IT. That also screws them over too cause then they dont keep u around for the ego boost lol
Hi matt, I've been seeing my boyfriend for 10 months now and we have managed to talk about this stage where we are. It is exactly what you are talking about where the discussion of whether when and how to proceed to the next level is there. He communicated the need for space and time. And we have been communicating openly about it. It really brings in some fear but you're right, it may be a process men really do need to go through .
Love this! So inspiring! My mind has been completely consumed by thoughts of him. It’s been six months since he left, and the pain of losing him feels like a physical ache. The laughter, the memories, the adventures sadly, it’s all gone. I’ve tried everything to distract myself, but the harder I try, the more I find myself thinking about him. How do people let go and move on? It’s been months, yet the memories of him are still so vivid. I miss him more than words can say.
Thank you so much for the suggestion you have no idea how much this means to me.
Time heals.
I typically match energy and turn away and move as if I’m okay even when I’m not. This is REALLY good information 👍🏾
After my last failed relationship.ive learned a lot of lessons from a Narc ex.now im in a new relationship and i had a mindset that if he pulls away i give space and i never initiate to pursue i just live my life just like when i was before i met him.whatever happen i told myself i will be ok and pursue my own goal.
Coz i dont want to stress myself thinking about it.
I will live my life without him.and no second chance instead i say next!!
I went out with a guy for 4dates. We are both introvert people. We had good time for the first 3 dates. I was the one asking him if he wanted to hang out for 2nd,3rd and 4th dates. During the 4th date, he went quiet most of the time and it was awkward. I didn’t want to say something at that time. It bothers me for 2 days after the 4th date. So I decided to call him and ask if he was ok, was there something bothering him or if I did something wrong. He just told me “I’m just like that sometimes and there was nothing to talk about.”……… At that moment, I know I won’t ask him out again, I’ll let him decide if he wants to contact me and meet again. I don’t want to chase him, like I did with my ex bf. There are plenty of guys out there, maybe he is not the one for me.
Been through that. He just acted distant . Like it really hurts 😪 no matter how I message him , nothing was effective . And so, I just accepted the fact that He's not the one for me .
@@Angelica-vz9rt yea…they are weird. And I hate chasing people. I used to do that and it’s tiring and wasting time! 😣
@@jennyy6606 😓😓😓😓 they consume good energy away . So strange .
@@Angelica-vz9rt did u find someone else after that?
Jenny Don’t ask him out - he should have been asking you. Especially in the first few dates at least. It’s different if you’ve been dating a month or two and you ask him if he wants to see a movie that’s coming out that you want to see - something along those lines. But the man must do the asking for the first couple of months at least.
I found that texting or calling him telling him something interesting that has happened or is happening or that he is interested in helps alot you get him talking and communicating more makes him more comfortable with you
Hi Mat, thats exactly what i did, i called him directly and i told him my opinion and since then he is the one now calling/texting me every single moment he has. And thats where i noticed conversation is the most important thing especially in a distance relationship! Thanks for your advices.
Please quick question, were you two just dating or you're in a relationship? The guy I have gone on 3 dates with now, I am feeling him being distant a bit plus updating his dating profile. He said he is very busy with this week tho. So I am not sure how to approach this.
@@winniejake144 Hi Jake we were dating and now we are in a relationship.
@@winniejake144 how do u know he updated his dating profile? Worse u can do is looking in his profiles. U guys are just dating meaning im 100% sure he is keeping his options open...or talking to others. U do u ...continue talking others .. or just asl him whats up ..
Ask yourself, can you remember any man that was legitimately into you ever pulling away for more than say, a day? A person who is about you won't want you to worry about their interest more than a little bit here and there. More than a day of worry is showing a lack of interest. Remember, he may say otherwise if confronted, but pulling away cannot become a pattern without something being significantly wrong. Also realize that this pulling away is bad for you. Do you really want to fall for someone who constantly puts you through something so negative?
Makes sense, but people have different rhythms. My ex-boyfriend was always calling and texting, at some point I had to tell him, please, I need my peace, let's talk tomorrow or something. I need to get to miss you 😂 We were together for years and broke up over other (serious) things
When a man pulls away, I assume he’s lost interest, so I simply move on. Usually that is the case. But depending on the guy, and the level of interest they’ve shown before and how serious they are, I will reach out if I haven’t heard from them in a while. I’ll ask them why they’ve been distant. Some have good reasons, and with these men I try to take it slow with them. A little bit of absence of someone you like can create desire or feelings… if he liked me he would always come back
@Alice-Ada Ationu scammer
But why can't he communicate?
Am I also allowed to do the same when I am trying to figure myself out if I wanna be with him or not
@@mzyvonnehangara7637 Maybe u can ask him if he would like to take things slow with u until u both can figure out where things are going? 😊
He can communicate he just chooses not to the only acceptable reason is if he's working out of the country or a family member is sick and he's the only caregiver .and trust me if they suddenly change the amount of attention/physical Intimacy that they give compared to before theyre talking to someone else or cheating
The first sign that he pulls away ie: less phone calls, what I call "light" excuses why he cant see me, and overall vagueness, I stop. Instantly, stop. If he doesn't call, I dont call. If he isn't available to spend time together, I dont pursue. If he's vague, I don't press. It Never works. Ever. Unfortunately and fortunately, I'm so numb to rejection now, I just move on.
It happened to me, i pulled away..now my hurting has settled..
He broke up with me abruptly, I tried no contact but ended up texting him after a week. He then started telling me how sorry and regrettable he was, he didn’t want to lose me and asked for forgiveness. So I forgave him and took him back. Within a few days of forgiving him, he went offline for 19hrs- said he’s going out with old friends, then again went off for 18hrs same excuse!
I woke up tired, no text no confronting, deleted and blocked him and moved on. He never tried to contact me again! My advice; when they show you who they’re first time believe them! Never take a man back who broke up with you for no good reason.
Never look back when he shows signs of disrespect or disinterest.
Certainly, I agree with number 3 advice. Everything you said is true. To resolve any gaps in communication is to talk positively. That will surprise him... Many thanks! Mat, you're an amazing guy, your wife is lucky to have you. Keep it up 🙏🏼
I've not experienced this in about 3 years but if I were to predict: I'd continue living a purpose-filled life, Mat. Living authentically is learning to live IN PURPOSE, ON PURPOSE. Lots of self-governance in my statement AND as you've so elequently mentioned (I'm stating it slightly different): "God's chosen him OR I should look forward to someone He has hand-picked." Heey! 💃🏽
After watching this, I'm not watching any other videos concerning it again. Good teacher
The thing is i did ask him why he doesn’t text/call so much but the answer was “he is really busy”
Well he was busy before and found that time.😢
Sounds like you're looking to be away from him.
God is the major source of Love. Dear beautiful ladies, make Him the first source, you wouldn't act needy to guys then. Its strong and independent place to be in and help in relations.
Rubbish.
Great advice.
Thank you Matt for the great advice I had this happen to me my boyfriend of 10 years kept leaving me every weekend to be with his mom & Dad. He should be with me he told me his parents are getting older now so he wants to help them he stays there all weekend comes into the city goes to work and comes to my house to eat and sleep I feel like a second mom of his. He kept on leaving even on special holidays I told his not to come back and we have not spoken to each other since last Christmas.
RUN the other direction!! real men who really love their women inly draw closer. consistent!
As painful As it is. I'm giving him space. However, preparing myself for the worst. I'm keeping busy, getting my life together. Sorting through stuff.
I've got myself a new number waiting on my new phone to come in.
I already did my crying. I'm going through my process of grief.
I'm also giving myself time not to do anything stupid such as cheat on him out of hurt or rejection.
At night, I put my phone someplace where it can't be reached easily.
I go to sleep.
You are doing good 😊 I know it Hurts just give it time and be very kind to yourself ❤️
@@KAAT2239 Thank you🌹❤
Yes It's a good idea to use the pulling away as a time to prepare for the worst. Men are not dumb and they know that if they neglect you they risk losing you. Don't entertain men who take the risk of losing you lightly.
By far the best advice I’ve seen on this topic, and I’ve watched a ton because I’m in this space at the moment. Short quick to the point, and great advice. Sometimes we know these things but it makes it a little more acceptable when you hear someone else say it, thanks!
I feel that when they pull away it really is important to understand how you truly feel about what is happening and then what is it that you really want from someone in a relationship. Leave them out of the equation for a moment.
It's so easy to make it about them first that you overlook all of these things you knew you wanted to find yourself months or even years in a relationship that you do not want.
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This came in at exactly the moment I needed it! Thank you Matt! Great content!
This is the best video on this subject!! My guy pulled back; this is great advice to give him space but to also believe in love abundance!! Luckily he’s still showing up. Awesome advice, thank you!
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🤷♀️ I'm not asking him anything I just listen to the energy and vibes they tell me what I need to do
Thank you! Perfect timing for me! I do not want someone that cannot handle stressful situations!
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Agree. if it’s stressful then you both handle it together! that’s what i want….
I always feel so much more optimistic after your videos. Thanks, Mat!
I had a situationship with a friend. Great chemistry, we were having fun. But then I caught feelings and when I told him, he pulled away . When I asked em why, he said he did this so I lose feelings but it hurt me a lot.
I realized I was just obsessed with him, not in love, and I still want a friend back. For now I haven’t talked to him, decided to give him space.
Going through this right now. You’re advice is spot on. Going on 4 years, it’s getting to be a bit much. Thinking of moving on.
4 years is long enough for both of you to decide, I think you should move on too, just let go to be with someone who won't string you along. A friend of mine was "dating" a guy for 6 years, his friend met a woman and within 6 months they were married! If a guy is dating you longer than 2 years he's not thinking of marriage anymore, just the sad fact. Go do your thing, when he decides to call you ever again be VERY BUSY and don't budge to give him anymore of your precious time, (you've already given him 4 YEARS) find the right man who won't leave you hanging in doubt! 💕 Trust me on this!
@@sherynkowatsch2970 You're right, Thanks for the kind words and advice 💜
Helping a girl out, women need to stick together! 😉
You deserve a man who cherishes you and treats you like a Queen. Make room for him cos this one doesNt sound like he is up to the task. You deserve more and there are plenty of good men looking for a woman like you
Thanks for those advices. I had a good conversation over the phone when he pulled away. I told him I had great time with him but I had sensed some distance. I told him that we both rushed and felt the same and that need time to think. I assured him I understand and in case he needs to talk!, he can always call.
When a guy pulls back... I will lost interest and cut the ties off completely and let him go... Give him what he want
I definitely do the first step.
Then I listen to affirmations that put me in the receiving mode of every beautiful thing I am deserving of. I put all my energy back into me.
I give him one day of no communication but anything after, it’s safe to say that I don’t deserve that. Byeee…
If he is communicating but barely, I’m not going to accept that unless I did something wrong.
Only grown men need apply.
2:04 ... so true... he disappeared for 2 months and I was so heartbroken. But I left him alone. And he messaged me that he missed me on fb. I didnt see it for a month. I finally saw it we reconnected and well its been 3 years and we have a baby now
Wow..🎉..
So he was making his mind❤
Mat, I really like how you explain things is such a positive and proactive way.
Matt, I want to thank you so much for this ! The timing and me seeing this , I know , was meant for me ! I am actually going through this right now.
And I needed a man’s perspective on what to do or how to react. The last words I heard was , “ I love you, baby!” That was a little over a week ago. I needed this video to realize reality. Also, I needed to realize that you have even experienced this. Yes, you are so right , he is not the source of love- there is a greater source that brings the soulmate type of partner ! I needed this confidence! Thank You so much!!
The best thing to do when a man pulls is to say or do absolutely nothing expect moving forward and never looking back.
You are worth so much more and you don't need to deal with unhealthy guys who play silly little mind games...
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I 100% just leave the person alone. It's a major turn off to me and nonsense. It's best to just work on yourself to release yourself of that attachment and pain of needing them especially if you know you did nothing wrong. Sometimes they could be under money stress or stress at work, some have depression or bipolar problems, other times they are upset at you for some reason unknown or maybe they are seeing someone else.
Whatever the hell it is, I have zero tolerance to hang around with someone who chooses to leave me in the dark about things. They have a mouth they can open it. I can't stand to be with someone who can't open their mouth to communicate at least 2 sentences. Silent treatment is immature, I don't care what stress you have, they should be considerate to a woman period.
If women keep enabling this silent treatment behavior from their lovers, nothing's going to change.
I do believe in giving space for sure, but at least they can be honest and say something. But then again a lot of women can't handle the truth so many of times men are not always comfortable with opening up.
Life's too short to be with a closed up person. If that's their style to shut down and not at least explain why they are pulling away or need space then to me it's not worth it, they will always do it again in the future, using that as their coping mechanism.
Been there done that, it amounts to nothing. I am a psychic and a dating coach for women as well and I sadly see my female clients suffer from this way too much. Just walk away, these guys don't change and trying to learn all these tactics just to keep them will make you miserable and feel stupid and desperate.
Not worth it having to jump through hoops for a guy and fly to the moon just because you can't be alone with yourself. Face your fears and pain, don't worry about men. That's how you can start loving you better. 💗
I totally agree.
This was so empowering for women to hear!! You TRULY get us and want the best for us (..if you’re not already, you would make an amazing girl-dad, btw) Thank you and God bless you!!🙏🏽
When he becomes distant, l even move far away than he expected
I don't chase after him but give him space and time and patiently wait to see when, what and how he makes the next move on you. Bottomline - never chase after him but give time and space to take its own course.
When a man pulls back, what you do?
*YOU LEAVE!!!!*
Ghost, block, and *delete!!!* He does not get to pass _GO._ He does not get _the benefit of the doubt._ He does not get _another chance._ And he does not get a place in your social media.
Your youth, beauty, passtimes/hobbies, career, education, and *TIME* are way too valuable to be trying to _get a man to commit._
A man that does not want to commit *to you,* you let him go. Men are like buses: there's a new one every 20 minute, whether you're 16 years old or 600 years old.
Love what you said!❤️
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Don't bother with this dude. Give *YOURSELF* what *YOU* desire the most.
If *HE* wanted to, *HE WOULD!*
After all, I'm the one who's been married 10+ years.
I'm speaking out of experience. I ditched all these dumb men who played bullshiit _bait-and-switch_ shiit tests, games, and got rid of all of them. Why? Because I wanted a real man... and found a man who desired me and was all in. No games, no _shiit test,_ just commitment. These male dating coaches just want women to cater to men with little reward for ourselves.
😂😂😂
Choose love over fear. Thank you for this video.
😢❤❤
Sometimes I just want a stone heart because I have been through a lot 🤦🏾♀️. Sometimes I feel like staying by myself forever 🤷🏽♀️
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I hear you, Coco. You don’t want to take the chance to open up and potentially get hurt…it’s a dilemma huh?
@@planetwalker798 it is 😯
Read through all the comments n it made me realize let the door hit them that pulled back on the way out they were not the one. Everyone trying you are courageous n vulnerable n deserve love dont give up on you.
You just ask;
“Hey, I’m seeing you (insert behaviors that seem distant and evasive) and it seems you’re distancing yourself from me. Can we talk about that?”
It’s really that simple. If he calmly and rationally explains to you what’s going on and it has nothing to do with your relationship, then you’ve opened a door for intimacy and connection. If he acts defensive and critical of you, run for the hills. That’s a red flag of a man that is probably hiding something from you and doesn’t really want a healthy relationship with you.