Tarzan, The Ape Man - The Cinema Snob
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- Опубліковано 20 жов 2024
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Created by Brad Jones
Illustration by Shaun Millington
The Cinema Snob reviews a Tarzan movie from the director of Ghosts Can't Do It.
Click here to vote for the next episode: / 6036245
"How much Keef is in this movie?".........."Miles O'Keef."-MST3K
This movie looks like a porn parody without the porn and the parody.
well theres no full on sex, but they tease the shit out of it, and Tarzans been around for a while, soooooo... soft core porn spoof.
No sex but loads of boobs.
Its something. Right?
+Tyler Tabah Not in an age where you can get free porn online.
That is a bit too much true. At first that's what I thought! But then I said to myself: It can't be a porno, it's got less plot than that!
I'd just like to point out a little bit of history for those curious:
Tarzan was a 25 book series, the first book "Tarzan of The Apes" was written in 1912.
The first Tarzan movie was a silent film, released in 1918. It attempted to accurately portray the story from the first book.
In 1932 the first non silent film adaptation of Tarzan was released, titled "Tarzan The Ape Man", it was loosely based on the novel, but it did invent many tropes that were continued in later Tarzan cinema; the most notable being Tarzan's call, which has remained a staple of the franchise till this very day.
Following "Tarzan The Ape Man (1932)"'s release, Hollywood created a franchise of Tarzan films which lasted from 1932 to the 1970's.
Following the 1970's, many non franchise Tarzan movies were released, including the one that is being reviewed here by the Snob.
Eventually, in 1999, Disney released the well known Tarzan animated film. While the films story left out many plot points and elements from the original novel the theme and moral of the story remained consistent: questioning the meaning of the word "Civilized".
Trivia:
In the original novel, Clayton and Tarzan were secretly lost cousins. The purpose of this was to contrast the lifestyle of Tarzan with the lifestyle of Clayton: Tarzan was one with nature, a man who peacefully lived with the world around him; whereas Clayton was a coldhearted hunter who killed things for fun. The message of course being that Tarzan's peaceful, non violent nature was what made him more civilized than Clayton.
Tarzan's real identity is never revealed in the Disney Cannon movies/shows. In the novel his name was John Clayton.
In the original novel, Tarzan teaches himself how to read as a child. He finds the camp where his parents were killed, finds some books, and somehow figures out how to read. Realizing the clear problem with this, many Tarzan adaptations since have had Tarzan taught English and literature after being discovered by other people.
In the original book, Tarzan's mother dies of natural causes, and his father is killed by Kerchak.
In the original novel, Tarzan becomes "King of The Apes" after killing Kerchak in self defence.
Kerchak, despite being one of the main villains of the original novel, plays a completely different role in the 1999 Disney adaptation. In the Disney movie, Kerchak dies after being shot by Clayton. This is incredibly ironic considering that Kerchak was originally characterized as being envious and naturally violent, just like Clayton.
What is even more ironic is that Kerchak, in the Disney film, passes his leadership onto Tarzan, which the original Kerchak never would have done, especially seeing as though, in the original novel, he gave up his life in his jealousy and resentment of Tarzan.
Thank you. I was so interested that I read your whole comment. I'm impressed with the knowledge you shared. Sincerely. Be advised that this isn't to troll you.
I read this comment in Snob's voice.
It's really funny and enjoyable if you do so.
Learning is FUN!!!
Huh, that's really interesting to know. Thanks! I knew Tarzan was a book series, and knew vaguely that Tarzan's birth surname was Clayton, but I didn't know that Tarzan and Clayton were originally cousins.
Well shit, that was informative. Nice job, man!
All thanks to Edgar Rice Burroughs... the same man who wrote the Barsoon saga, aka John Carter of Mars.
When the guy fell off the cliff, I was kind of expecting "Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.." from George of the Jungle
I love George of the Jungle! Not only cause it is really funny but as somebody from the Bay Area it was made in that weird time where the mayor of San Francisco Willie Brown would only let you film if he got to make a cameo.
Unless it is Bob Newhart imitating a cat, the MGM lion should do nothing but roar.
lion oppression.
Don't forget the belching lion in "Strange Brew"
Morbos1000 Bob Newhart?
@@marcuswalker3409 on the tv show Newhart at the end the MTM kitten meows but it's Bob Newhart's voice.
@17ll3 x214 the current Leo the Lion has a real name, Zamba.
Richard Harris screaming his lines out of nowhere? "HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH?" he asked calmly.
I do believe you've mixed up your Dumbledores there, good sir.
I know
I don't blame him, all the Dumbledores looked the same to me from all the movies, despite it being different men, lol. I guess they gotten lucky with their Dumbledore choices since they seemed to be the same actor. lol At least to me. :)
Well, Richard Harris was dead at the time, so maybe his ghost was responsible for that bizarre outburst :P
And I completely agree on the whole 'they look the same' detail. For years, I just thought they had suddenly decided to radically change the costume.
Yeah, this should be a Michael Gambon quote and posted on a The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover review.
"John Derek is better at directing animals than he is at directing people"
Well, apart from the lion pouncing at Miles earlier.
Dumbassledore is my new favourite line! Also, I feel bad for Miles O'Keefe. At least he seemed like he was actually trying. Beautiful though she may be, Bo Derek can't act to save her life.
I think the elephant picking up his unconscious body with its tusks is actually a really lovely Tarzan moment, beautifully done 14:35
This makes me miss the subtlety and class of George of the Jungle.
Okay... John Derek's works aren't films. They're a fetish.
"Cinematic cuckoldry", my hot wife is totally getting ravaged by big burly jungle men..also by big snek XD
They probably should've called this one JANE PORTER: THE MOVIE
Or JANE PORTER"S BOOBIES: THE MOVIE
Because the 1981 Jane Parker is actually Jane Porter in all but surname.
@@ACETYGRA Yeah, that's a much better title for this film.
It scares me that an IMDb commenter said, "this is the best film the Derek couple has ever made," and s/he is probably right. Nice to see Ator got work after finding the Geometric Nucleus, though!
Like part of me feels like it's kinda flattering to put your wife in all your movies and having the premise to ALL of them being that everyone is in love with her.
But also, it comes off as really desperate, insecure, and sad.
not to mention all the weird, gross Dad stuff here.
+Little Bear Schwarz Well, John Derrick did marry her when she was barely 18; they dated before that though, and had to run off to Germany to avoid charges... John was pretty gross, insecure, and sad.
@@oren1305 why sad? He got what he wanted.
Maybe one movie, sure, but when they all revolve around “my wife is young and fuckable please notice” it just gets sad.
That shout of 'WHY DID YOU DO THAT' into the African abyss resonates with all the times I made poor choices.
Today on Sentences That Will Only Ever Be Said Once: "Could you not keep bringing up your dad when you're getting fondled by Tarzan?!?"
A Svengali Production? Well, at least the director's being honest about exploiting the female lead.
I first misread it as A Svengoolie Production. I was confused about the lack of rubber chickens and bad puns.
Littlepip Lightbringer True.
9:42 is that where the Simpsons got the "old man yells at cloud" joke from?
This movie came out when I was a kid, and seeing it, or sneaking in to see it, was a big deal. Can only explain it by saying that Bo was the Kim Kardashian of her day. Screaming is pretty much Richard Harris's trademark. The only films I can think of where he doesn't are the Harry Potters.
every so often you see a movie that makes you understand why actors in the seventies were alcoholics...
Say what you want about the movie, I thought having the elephant to actually pick up the Tarzan actor was amazing. You would never see that now.
Richard Harris? THAT RICHARD HARRIS? you mean... Dumbledore????
Yes.
And English Bob in Unforgiven!
Yep! That's the one. He was singer at one time when he did "MacArthur Park" in 1968 and it was his only big hit as a one-hit wonder.
...oh GOD.
Yup, and it was performances of his like this one here that was why I didn't like him as an actor until I saw him in "Unforgiven".
Just want you all to know...."Where's my cannon?" is Albus Dumbledore from the first two Harry Potter movies. Yea he's done other things, but I just wanted to leave that there for the kiddies.
I wish he was that drunk. It looks like Michael Gambon inherited his booze, though
Bo Derek's eyes are terrifying in this movie. She always looks like a falcon about to swoop down on her prey.
Franz Sanders I'll be her prey anytime.
Is it bad that whenever James Parker mentions stuffing and mounting Tarzan on his wall, that I imagine Brenden Frasier spread-eagle and nailed on the wall with his mouth open?
I don't blame you since George of the Jungle is suppose to be a Tarzan parody.
Boozed-up adults used to be the backbone of box office success.
There was also naiveté since it was Bo and John Derek first big picture...
Can't believe there was no reference to "They're washing me like a horse!" One of the most stunning lines in the history of cinema.
Hey look, a Tarzan movie that doesn't really feature Tarzan, kinda like a Lone Ranger movie that centers around Tonto.
Oh so the 2013 movie.
I never got those ROAR jokes until a friend of mine brought it to a movie night recently. I don't know how any movie studio thought working with live, untrained lions was a good idea for any reason.
Wasn't a studio. Was all funded independently because the studios didn't want to touch it
I remember seeing this movie one night when I was a kid but don't remember much except for Leo the MGM Lion doing the Tarzan yell and the part with Jane spooning Tarzan while he's passed out and surrounded by apes. I remember being uncomfortable at that part but wasn't sure why. I wonder what percentage of my innocence I lost that night?
Brad, as a woman, I can confirm that we all sit like that with our legs as wide as possible.
Women
and JCVD
I know that the Tarzan lore originated a century ago but "Ape man" will always make me laugh.
Like Felis the Cat, E.T the Extraterrestrial, Manos: The Hands of Fate...
Brad Jones aka cinema snob is an icon, thank you so much for sharing with us you make life more enjoyable for many people!!
9:37 To answer your question Richard Harris, it's for how much money you owe for recording "MacArthur Park." But it will make a great Weird Al parody.
So THIS is the film that Joseph Joestar saw...
Joseph that silly old man lol
but dio
This doesn't have to do with your comment, but instead why you have a picture of Grell having an orgasm
My friend is an artist and he knows I like Black Butler and Panty & Stocking, so he drew me a pic of Grell as a gift. It's hard to tell in the avatar size, but it's in the style of PSG. As for the orgasm, I think it's funny and I have no shame
+Red Talon it's definitely a good picture. Props to you my man/wo-man, keep on keeping on
♥ U Brad for the Orca reference. I loved Orca growing up as a kid, and I still do. Richard Harris and Charlotte Rampling were great. Bo Derrick had her leg bitten off in that movie. Awesome. The soundtrack by Ennio Morricone was brilliant.
The biggest surprise about this movie? It was made when Richard Harris had given up the booze.
Although given how much he drank in the seventies, he could have still been hungover at this point.
I can't believe Joseph Joestar watched this movie.
Just yesterday, my uncle told me about the time he went to see this in the theaters. He got to the opening credits before he left and went to watch something else.
SMARTEST. UNCLE. EVER.
I forgot Bo Derek was in 'Orca'...mind you, seeing as she remained clothed in it, so did the audience!
Ive always thought it was funny how MGM kept that lion as its mascot all these years even though it murdered its trainer very shortly after filming the legendary roar.
Actually, there are different lions. And all are technically dead. The current version of Leo the Lion is a cgi version of the 1957 one.
So this film isn't any different from almost any Monica Bellucci movie, Bo Derek's counterpart of our age... The morale of the story is: are you hot and in a power relationship with someone in the entertainment industry? You can shoot as much s**t as you wish.
Why isn't WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! ...WHYYYYYYYYY?! a meme...?
It should be!
Edgar Rice Burroughs is rolling in his grave.
We must make a new Tarzan to sate him
First it was John Carter's box office bomb, than two awkward Tarzan movies, one admitedly in CGI and the other passing as "live-action"... Yeah, probably so.
Ana Luiza Rabelo I don't think Edgar would care about the box office just seeing his works come to life , as well as how accurate it is and as a guy who lived pre-CGi he wouldn't be as cinical
I actually like John Carter, I think it's actually a good movie, it's bad it didn't sell as much. As for the last "Tarzan" movie, (including Disney's) they had little to do to the original book, but each one was kinda "okay" on each own's way. This movie up here is clearly a porn spoof that didn't go as much "X-rated" as it could have been.
+Pete Hill ----Apparently, Edgar Rice Burroughs' estate tried suing to make sure this movie wasn't released... They obviously failed!
Well done, Brad! I just reviewed this last week for Awfully Good Movies, and it truly is one of the most fascinatingly awful films I have ever seen. And here's hoping that GHOST FEVER wins your poll. It's always transcendently funny when the Snob gets mad at movies with wacky shenanigans. And plus, it'd be your first Alan Smithee movie.
Cinema Snob...you are the funniest guy I've ever seen. I can not believe it took me this long to start watching your videos!! The combination of comedy, sarcasm and intelligence is fuqing mind blowing! Thank you for existing.
Multi-coloured Yull Brynners...god damn it, Brad. You're making me laugh.
you have issues, John Derek.
The Snob, golf-clapping the inevitable wanna-be pedants, should be .GIFed and added to the internet's sarcastic arsenal.
I noticed it has been a year and no one had taken on this task soooo...ask and ye shall eventually receive, my friend...;)
media.giphy.com/media/1wrBteDhIfjFVILPCY/giphy.gif
Now I want Tarzan's iconic cry to be replaced with a similar but obviously Alpine yodel...
I find it funny that the natives were "afraid" of the call, I mean it's just some musclebound dude on a vine, just offer him some cheese, white people LOVE cheese, right Freeman? LOL
I like how they're in "Africa" when the python, elephants, foliage, landscape and bulls are Asian.
I noticed that elephant too. My only guess would've been that it was an imported one from Asia and they were in East Africa, but why wouldn't be near some sort of pen and in the wild?
However, I didn't notice the orangutan. Now that it occurs to me.....those chimps should be kicking around that thing. Reason being chimps are more violent and often hunt other primates, second it like a three to one ratio so they have fair chances.
The film was filmed in Sri Lanka.
The most important part of the Tarzan story is Jane's electra complex.
Also, slow-motion Tarzan ass.
18:18 possibly the greatest transition of all time
Wait! Bo Derrick stars in this John Derrick film? Wow. Whatever the proper term for spousal nepotism is, this guy's got it.
Lord knows when I was married, I never made movies with my wife. Oh, wait... ;)
Yeah but:
1) You're super low budget.
2) You didn't parade her around as a sex symbol constantly.
Hahaha, Yeah Brad, that's what you're doing wrong.....
Well if my wife were an actress and looked like Bo Derrick...
I didn't know Jimmy Saville was a thing in the states, but I'm glad you brought it up, because shouty man does look a lot like him.
The dialog in these John Denver movies is like the one kid in high school theater who REALLY insisted his own play would be far, far better than any of that 'modern' trash that's been professionally made.
"I've never touched a man before..."
"Pfft. HA!"
"Speaking of boobs, the new Ghostbusters movie is coming"
Lol, nice transition there, Brad. XD
To be canonically correct, the "apes" *should* be a man-sized hominin. Though Burroughs did not specify a species, and indeed, hominid lineage was very much uncertain in Burroughs' time, he made it clear the apes were human sized, with some human-like characteristics. They had a stone age culture, and language - thus, the gibberish depicted as spoken used by the apes is within cannon. Though, I do not know if Derek went so far as to make sure their mutterings were in Burroughs' "Mangani" language. ... And, yes, we DID pause the video to discuss this. ;)
The Cinema Snob loves his porno spoofs. If you all don't vote for the porno, he's going to be really disappointed with you.
I'm just disappointed the Japanese live action schoolgirl "Ghost Hustlers" spoof wasn't in the options...but I guess he couldn't get away with showing too many clips of it, even though TokyoPop had no issue distributing it.
I'd personally love to see the third one so that Brad can explain who, or what, Alan Smithee is.
I thought Tokyopop went defunct a while ago.
Edit: Wait, nevermind. Misread the "had" as "has". Sorry about that. Ignore me.
All these years later, and I still lose it at 10:21 when Tarzan does the "Tarzan Boy" holler.
You absolutely read my mind with the Baltimora joke, Brad! Good moves!
Dear Cinema Snob,
In your most recent episode, you made a joke implying that Bolero was the last John Derek/Bo Derek production, when in fact, Ghosts Can't Do It was the last one produced. I expect your next episode to feature you saying "you got me! Egg on my face!" and actually featuring you cracking and egg on your face.
Love, Mike
*sarcasm in every word
Not the last one made ever, the last one made through both MGM and Cannon. Hence the lion saying they were out the door.
+Jeffrey Coogan That escalated quickly!
Andrew Gwilliam Richard Harris was just to good of a actor for a movie like that.
Don't you be rude to our Lord and Savior!
23:14 for the reference, guys.
"And if you have a human being stuffed and mounted in your club, *it's gonna raise a few eyebrows!*
Uhh, it's a conversation piece, duh.
Snob I love your videos, please never stop making them
Dear Snob,
Your last joke about commenting about apes killed me.
Keep up the amazing work, Marcen.
Why does Tarzan take forever to appear in this movie, all the other Tarzan films introduce him to the audience right away.
Because, if nothing else, those movies are at least somewhat competent
17:45 "That's a smile!"
Just imagine the girl from "Me before you" doing this as she met Wil for the first time due to a misunderstanding. I would have laughed my ass off.
And yes, this movie looks so messed up that I believe the plot would not be far from Jane's father having an incestuous relationship with her in the jungle so that Tarzan has to come and save her.
Last but not least: Around 2000 I read a film review on this Tarzan flick by my favourite film critic (who didn't like it). Amongst other things he wrote that Bo Derek's nudity scenes must have been as exciting as a bucket of valerian tea since in Germany you just had to be at least 12 years old to be permitted to watch this. And now thanks to you, Brad, I have a clearer picture of this wreck.
Great video, Snob! Do you think you'll ever take a look at Bo and John's other infamous collaboration, "Bolero"?
3:49 Nice Caligula reference. Speaking of Caligula, when is that going to be reuploaded?
My favorite Snob moments are the ones I inadvertently guess 3 seconds prior - MORE CONVICTION!!!!
This and Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters are my favorite Cinema Snob reviews!
Dear mr. Snob,
I have noticed you referenced Orca in a couple of your reviews. Is there a chance that you will eventually review the film itself?
I wish i could hear that snorkel joke for the first time again, i almost cried laughing
1:29 ...I think that Lion needs to see a vet immediately.
Now Richard Harris telling God off is a clip worth keeping 🤣 HOWW VERY DAAARE YOUUUUU!! ☝😡
- Honestly I was expecting a Crocodile Dundee moment there! 12:42
How much Keefe is in this movie? Miles O'Keefe!
I'm pretty sure modern movies have started using CGI for wild exotic animals for the animal rights issue, not because CGI is easier. It's just harder to get abused circus elephants for your movie these days.
EaglesRugby wait some movies had actual animals? What if someone actually died while filming?
Gracekim1 Welp, there'd be some charges.
Agreed. One of the only things that get on my nerves about Snob Reviews (and I'm a big fan) are the unfair shots at modern special effects.
20:01 "Tell that to Zod's snapped neck!"
I was just looking up Cinema Snob when this shows up in my subscription feed.
Bo Derek taught me some incredible hand eye coordination back in those days. Christ I couldn’t get enough of her lol
I love the part where Richard
screaming at sky at 9:37
Bo should have made Awesome Late night Cable Erotica, she could have been Legendary
I guess on the bright side, its an improvement over Ghosts Can't Do It.
Ironic, seeing that Tarzan is almost a decade older than Ghosts.
1:04 That's Frank Frazetta's artwork,I hope he got paid well.
Another video where I can't stop laughing. Keep the good work going and the videos coming. Mucho respect for using a Balitmora reference. 15:00 Wow that was an amazing (and exetremly dangerous) shot! From 15:00 to 18:05 I couldn't stop laughing. And those last shots during the credits. God damn that was good.
Miles O' Keeffe is the greatest actor who ever lived. Don't question it.
"This Ain't Ghostbusters?" Wow. I was expecting something more creative like "Ghost Loadbusters".
I was expecting something really lame like 'Ghost BUSTers'
These reviews are great man, keep it up! ^^
had to wait over 12 minutes for the first Dumbledore reference, but I knew it was coming eventually
I wanna see all three...DAMN YOU GHOSTBUSTERS
Also, I always knew MGM was run by lions.
its funny to see a young albus Dumbledore
My parents said this was 1 of 3 films to walk out of the theater on. The other two were "Galaxy of Terror" and "Cruising". Of course I had to own it because of that fact :-)
Same here, except the last two for me was "Clash of the Titans" and "Baby: Secret of the Last Legend". My folks that those two, plus John Derek's version of Tarzan, was "kid friendly". Looking back now, I wonder if the studios had mixed up their films with Cinemax's library of films...
How could your parents think that this version of Tarzan was kid friendly, considering it's rated R?
Surprised ghostlusters isn't the porno "spoof" you put up for possible review...
So the title character is barely in this movie? I didn't know Ryuhei Kitamura took inspiration from this movie for Godzilla: Final Wars
At least this movie has no ripoffs. Nothing redeemable, but no ripoffs
Oh man I hope the Ghost-Busters show with the gorilla wins the poll. Never seen it, but it looks absolutely moronic. And it's why they almost couldn't use the Ghostbusters name for the Ghostbusters cartoon, which was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. I'd love to see just what the hell was actually going on there.
The cartoon was interesting. I don't really remember watching it back in the day but only a few bits and pieces of it in syndication a few years ago. Better than Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters.
It was a goofy comedy show. Nowhere near as serious as either iteration of the later Ghostbusters property tried to be.
Actually it's a fun cartoon
Hey Film Critic (SGP), from UK, Europe. Absolutely love Your reviews, especially the ones that cover the worst films out there. Absolutely love it; I'm on the floor laughing. I wonder if there is a niche market for really, really bad films. Because in a way, it's quite amusing. Just wondering if this is a European quirk, or maybe it exists in the United States. Anyway, Your reviews go far beyond others. And your dedication to really bad films just proves this point further - absolute magic. Best wishes and stay safe, Rob. (1/3/2023)
Oh, there is a market for horrible films in the States, as the existence of this channel, "Mystery Science Theater 3000", "Rifftrax", and other video series, magazines, and the like show. Not trolling you here, but doing my best to answer your question.
Thanks for the kind Words Rob, I'm sure the Snob would appreciate it.
I can't take more than 16 minutes of it. That's too hilarious... I feel bad for those animals to be in this movie... ^^
Y'know that joke about Bo's creepy face around Tarzan made me realize, YEAH, under less flattering lighting she DOES kinda look like the Mom form Troll 2 before having kids! LOL
I lost it at the "multicolored Yule Brenners" line
7:23 I thought you were going to use that audio clip: "SEE? The Cliffs of Insanity!!!"