I enjoy being single. Single does not equal loneliness. When people ask me why I’m still single I respond “I don’t want to be occupied when the right person comes along”.
I'm with you because I'd rather be happy and single than married and miserable. People should be able to live their life the way they want to without being judged.
Single doesn’t mean lonely .... Single brings me more peace than any wrong relationship. I love being able to focus on myself with absolutely no guilt. Lol 😂 I love enjoying my day and planning my future. It literally feels like a vacation- especially weekends.
@@sialo6373 I am making my present moments as meaningful as possible. I married a man whose personality changed after I married him. He was no longer fun loving and easy going. He is demanding and controlling. I make my present moments as positive as I can and I avoid being around him as much as possible.
After 30 years of unhappy relationships, I now find myself approaching the half-century mark and alone. Yes, this is painful-the last one took a huge chunk out of me when there was little left to begin with. Yes, I'm lonely, but for the RIGHT man, not Mr. Right Now. But I also feel that this time has been given to me to learn, to grow, to refine myself into the best me I can be. So I'm taking this time to refresh my passion, move forward and look back only when I have to-to see how much I've grown as a person. It isn't easy or painless, but I really don't have a choice. This is the hand I was dealt. It's up to me to figure out how to play it effectively.
Can one be TOO happy being single? I feel I am so comfortable I may never be in a relationship again. I don't even, look at men. Like, I talk to them, and I'm friendly, and if we get along great, but I never think oh I'm gonna go after that guy, or, is he single? It doesn't even occur to me.
@@Nokss_20 Hey don't worry you will be it only takes practice, It's like learning a new language. The first few months you're really rubbish at it and then a few years later, you're fluent, and you can't even remember what it was like not to speak the language.
Wow ....this is good to hear because I have felt that way for some time now... I have guy who says that he is my friend but always tries to make me feel guilty about my singleness...I just not interested in him that way at all ...I am divorced and good with being single, and yes there are times that get lonely but I stay too busy to let it bother me.......
A few days ago I was just praying to god to teach me how to be happily single and now here you are. Talk about divine manifestation. I thank you so much 🙏🏾
Social media has never fooled me because I know what goes on behind closed doors I am a advice coach and I get so many phone calls and emails that shows me exactly what is happening in these households and it's not pretty
Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons. John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind. What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.” We start feeling lonely, because we are on our own, lonely comes not from BEING ALONE. We all suffer of something and as we like “diagnoses” then lets diagnose ourselves: too often in the company of people, leading us to fear ALONE TIME, which each soul needeth. KJV Bible says; Matthew 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? Luke 12:22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. Matthew 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
people forget, many couples after long marriages simply outgrow each other or get tired of marriage, they divorce amicably and life goes on, the partners still love each other, but they are now moving in different directions -- this is the new pool of singles today
I’m enjoying not having drama & abuse in my life. I have my two cats for company. I don’t need anyone. I can do stuff for myself by myself. My circle is small & I’m slowly healing. Thank You for all your advice & time. 💕🙏🏻 Appreciate it ! Blessings ❤️
@@themacocko6311 yes self analysis & self reflection is good. I’m aware I’ve been an enabler & fixer in the past & I am fixing that! Victim blaming is not so good!
A lot of people on social media are just “show offs” they want a partner for the sake of putting pictures on Instagram and Facebook, they need validation from their family and friends. It seems to me that they need to convince the world that they are happy. Partners are not trophies, people in healthy relationships don’t need everyone’s approval.
I was thinking about the same thing this is why I don't have no social Media anymore.. I don't need no one knowing my business anymore .. especially who I am .. I am going to get better at things
I even did a fake proposal just to show her friends that i am proposing to her! FAKE EMOTIONS! A PROPOSAL IS SUPPOSE TO BE A SURPRISE, NOT PLANNED!!! My partner if a pretender! Too much jealousy and insecurities on social media!
Facts on facts I really think that's the reason why ppl wanna be in a relationship soooo bad. Social Media made it a trend, I rather have something real that will lasts (in real life) not fast ( for the pics, tags etc) just to prove others I got "somebody"
I'm learning not to be codependent. Learning how to be single. I'm a hopeless, hopefully romantic. My desire to be with someone has gotten me in bad relationships & I allow my boundaries to be crossed. Also, I trying to learn to be in the moment. When a guy shows some kind of interest in me, I start thinking about the maybes, is he's. Trying to just enjoy the moment. Anyway, I know that I'm not ready to be in a relationship with someone else at this point. I've only been divorced for 9 months after being married to an abusive narcissist husband. Trying to use this time to heal ,improve my self love & care, & to strengthen my inner core confidence. I truly believe that there is someone who is right for me & what I deserve. Trying to improve on myself so when I meet him, I'll be a whole & healthy person mentally & emotionally!💖
Ups. It did NOT helped me. I was sooooo incredibly happy as a single person, living alone for 10 years. Then I got married and in 5 years of marriage, I gradually lost my happiness until I realized that I'm not happy any more and divorced. I was happy again single again. Somehow, this tool didn't serve me in marriage.
My best relationship is with myself! My first relationship is with Jesus Christ. I love my own company and goodness! I love to travel alone, dine alone, enjoy alone. It is good!
I definitely enjoy alone too, but I'm learning to let myself open up and connect with people as before I would just be more closed off and I realized this wasn't healthy for me. (Not saying you, because I don't like to assume -it's one of my pet peeves, lol.. just sharing me personally. And definitely Jesus Christ.. 🤗😍
I am recently out of a 21 year relationship. At 40, my wife and I decided that we weren't happy together anymore. I know I need to find who I am but I already jumped head over heals into a new relationship that was everything I wanted except the feelings. I realized I need to be at peace with who I am. I need to find myself. I am very scared but I know this is needed. Thank you for your perfect words. I'll look deeper into your video collection. Thank you for finding yourself which allows you to help others in the same situation.
I’m fresh out of a toxic relationship. I am ready to face the world in my singleness. I am a child of the most high God. He has work for me to do while I’m passing through here. Now I can focus more on my purpose and continue being a great mother to my 3 children. I’d rather be a door keeper in the house of the lord than to dwell in the gates of wickedness. 🌻
Thank you so much Stephanie. This is the first time I've been single in 12 years and I've realized that I haven't been able to give to myself until now as I always put the other person first. I love it so much in fact that the I don't even want a partner. Lol I've never been so happy and fulfilled as I am now learning how to fill my own cup!! It feels so good!!! ❤️❤️❤️
My partner of five years and I broke up three days ago because we want different things in life but we still love each other. I really needed this video today ❤
All so true! After 2 yrs being single I am in the earliest stage of even considering trying again, yet you’re right Steph: I am truly loving being alone! There has been such a peace in our home since my ex left. My kids and I are so enjoying each other and such a closeness in our relationship that I’m not in a hurry to change that. I think you’re right about the pressures around us. Even my supportive family and friends ask me when I’m going to get back out there! I think for me it has to be a really organic and natural situation, maybe almost when i least suspect it will happen. But in the meantime I’m enjoying the peace, healing, and joy of being with my kiddos and myself!:)
Nice to know others feel the same about the organic relationship outside of today's narcisstic society. Did you end up finding someone, this comment is 3 years old.
I honestly plan to remain single. The complexities of finding a healthy, integrity driven individual for me is quite much. I don’t want to settle with a person. So my journey now isn’t about getting through single hood until I meet someone but really knowing that this is lifelong and I don’t have to put myself in a position to get hurt emotionally which has been my entire relationship experience.
Stephanie I am going through a divorce and and frozen. I’m so afraid to be alone. Thank you for your videos. I appreciate your coaching, education and advice.
Being single is a bless, we have a precious time to go deep inside and work on our issues. Everyone has issues to resolve even the people who are in a relationship. Being single and use this period of time to know yourself better would bring you consciousness and happiness within yourself or with other human being. When we are in a romantic relationship not always do the work on ourselves as we get distracted by it thinking we are fine, but once we break up and find ourselves alone is when all the internal voids come up to the surface. Some people take their time staying single and become a better version, others chose to jump into another relationship to filled the void.
I listened to this video, because today has been tough. I'm usually content or even overjoyed, to be single! But today was different for a few reasons. I escaped the narc almost 3yrs ago, & our divorce was finally finalized 2½mo ago. Today, I felt beautiful, sexy even... and then it sucked to have no one else to enjoy that moment with. So I listened to your video. Thank you for re-centering me & reminding me that the single life is nothing to be sad over! 💜
I love you!!!! I had over 3 years of built up stress in my life that finally came to blows this passed March. It was a very dark time in my life and I knew I needed to get some kind of help, but who is there to help you at 1 am when you’re trying to fall asleep.... well for me it was you and I absolutely appreciate the self help you have shared with the world. Much love to you 💕😊👍🏼
Taking time to be single & learn how to be your own best friend is an amazing journey. If you think of it as a vacation from living up to social norms, it’s easier to embrace. Once I feel I have healed from CPTSD and created a life worth living for my every day, I’ll be ready to share my world with another❤️. Good luck to anyone who is also ready to live a fabulously single life 🍀
I'm 58, never married, and very happily single. I have complete freedom, independence, and financial security. I was in relationships constantly from the age of 18 to the age of 38, and I don't miss any of them.
This hits so many things that pertain to me - the stories I tell myself about why I've always been single. My need for better self-talk/self-parenting. My fears of the future. My self-worth taking a hit because I've never had sex with anyone
You are the type of woman I need to have in my life. Just got out of a toxic relationship a few months ago with a woman who cant stay single more then a month or so max. I wanna meet someone that takes the time to love them selves and picks someone of value not just because they are there. Im very guilty of settling and it always gets me in trouble with the wrong women. My last relationship sucked all the life out of me.
I'm using this time and space to heal, grow and work on myself on becoming the best version off me. The better I become the better life and people I will attract
This is so what I needed. And I told myself that I needed to work on self-love but that didn't feel like the right word. Self-Parenting is EXACTLY the term I've been looking for, thank you!
Thank you so much. I try to give myself the love I cannot receive from the world. I do enjoy you pointing out it's ok to date and be in the moment. I was single for 4 years but extremely fearful of getting hurt again, so when I started dating I dove into a whirlwind romance and fell flat on my face. I know now in order to get better at dating and being satisfied with who I am. I need to be what I want to attract. It's also ok to be lonely. I'm asking God to change my perspective on that.
I got away from my narcissist 4 months ago and have found joy in solo traveling. It's so fun and liberating! You really learn to love yourself, rely on yourself, and truly enjoy your own company. I've never been to the Pacific Northwest so I recently went to Seattle by myself for a few days. It was really fun and next I plan on traveling solo internationally.
I read a topic for my exams .Now chilling ,eating and seeing outside. No regrets. All people I met were narcissist. Thank God ,I never entered a relationship with any of these people. I ain't gonno compromise .I will make a career and wait and watch,who God has for me.
I am 40 and single for 3 years recovering from Codependency , AVPD, Anxiety & Stress disorders( CPTSD) ect.. Stephanie, as always your video strikes the heart of people who are abused/neglected in all forms. The negative self talk, thought patterns (victim stories) & emotional flashbacks is our manifestation of a EGO (our unconscious bodyguard), who we invented to avoid pain traps in life. Our inner wounded child being innocent & naïve has been neglected, for few manipulated (shamed, abused, lied ect.) or Abandoned Emotionally. It's really hard to validate this broken inner masterpiece, but I can assure you there's nothing more satisfying than accepting, nurturing, trusting and loving an alienated self. Rightly said by Stephanie ,that healing is a life long process which each one of us have embarked on and continue every single day. And on this journey please be kind, gentle, patient, caring ect. to thyself which allows you be you in the moment. Thanks Stephanie for guiding us in a path of awakening.Love to all, in your healing path.
I so get this!!! I long to be in a relationship however I struggle with them. But also how jealous I feel when I see others all “happy” in relationships
Your videos help so much! My mother is narcissistic, growing up was aweful but I keep boundaries w/ her now. My recent bf of 3yrs was also narcissistic (I guess it was familiar grounds so I stayed). I've learned so much being single for a yr now! I'm so much happier & learning to keep a fence up instead of a full wall! (That was in one of your videos).
Thank you for this, it's really helpful! This in particular really hit home: "When you're living in the moment, practicing mindfulness, that is where happiness lives, because you're not thinking about yesterday and you're not worried about tomorrow"
This is so Good! Thank you!! Love it all especially around 11:49, 'being in the moment/being present LOVE it! "The only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You're only here now; You're only alive in this moment." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I dated a con man and I didn’t know until he raged at me for silly things in month three. Thank God that woke me up. I put his key on the counter and said this is your key that you gave me and left. Do you know that SOB came to my apartment at 2:00 trying to get in! I never gave him my key. What I did though was anticipate what he was going to do. I thank Jesus for guiding me in changing my locks. Total game changer. I’m so happy and thankful I’m single.
I filed for divorce 2 and a half years ago after a 23 year marriage to a very abusive narcissist, I was 53. I found Stephanie 2 years ago and her videos have been really helpful. I totally agree with her advice about enjoying being single. During these last two and a half years I started walking 15 minutes a day. I am up to one hour, I walk between 4 to 5 miles daily with my dogs. I have so much energy! I do monthly hikes with a women's group. I have done several 5k marathons to support causes I care about. I feed the homeless twice a month. I have found a new love for gardening. I have read many interesting books. I have reconnected with so many girlfriends. I enjoy going to the movies, shopping or to a quiet dinner. I spend quality time with my adult children. We go to brunch or take short weekend trips. I get such great quality sleep, there's no more snoring. I am staring my 33 year of teaching and I am still loving it. I am hoping the divorce finalizes this year and I am hoping to start dating. However I am so glad I have spend all this time enjoying being single, finding myself, loving and taking care of myself and finding new interests. I hadn't been this happy in the last 25 years. Thank you Stephanie for your great videos.
My mother did all of those things you listed married, plus she cooked and cleaned the house. That was in the 60s.The American people have become a bunch of pansies!
I always listen to speakers mom working out… I would say 80% of the time I’m listening to some kind of a motivational person! Best time to be feeding your mind 🙌
So blessed to have found her vids. Going through a Breakup and these helping tremendously. I'm watching EVERY ONE. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with the world
It's odd to me that there are so many videos on how to be happy single. My biggest life struggle so far has been how to be happy in a relationship, how to not feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm missing out, etc. I've tried it a couple of times because of social pressure, but to be honest I am always much more balanced, energised and excited about life when I'm on my own. I enjoy watching romantic movies for entertainment but my inside voice always goes: ' I'm so glad that's not me!' 🤣🤣
Thank you so much for what you do💕 I’m fresh out of a 3 year relationship. It’s been really hard at night when I’m alone. A friend of mine suggested watching your videos and you have really helped me to get out of that sad state of mind. You make so many good points and have really great/healthy advice. Thank you so so much💕
I really liked your each word. It's so true. Its all pressure from our surrounding and society. We start looking outside and compare and live. We are very much an individual who don't need to look at others or listen to others for what and when we need. And even when is our right time Or if time is running out. We don't even know for how long we are alive. Time is now. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤
Had my first ever narcissist recently... after discovering the lies and deceit, I went in a campaign of discovery, even contacting ex boyfriends and guys she was using on the side... she didn’t know what hit her. It was almost fun stripping away all she constructed thinking she was smarter than everyone else. Some of her exes are absolutely destroyed emotionally... I’ve been literally counselling the guys and showing them who she really was. She went nuts and even tried coordinate with her friends to drug me/maybe even with intent to kill. Couldn’t make this up! But I’ve learnt so much in the last few days of binge-watching these videos and reading up on NPD, BPD and empaths..., almost feel like starting a channel myself! Hey Steph, you single? 😉
All advice and suggestions coming from someone talking through own experience is so very convincing.... It is so sad that there are so many people, particularly women who are alone and have hard time dealing with it. Thanks a lot for this video.
Your awesome!!! I totally forgot how great it is to be single till I watched your video. I’ve been single 3 years now! I enjoy all your posts but this one really hit home, thanks for being so real with all of us! ❤️👍🏻🎉
I grew up with toxic family, so I never learned how to pick the right people for friends let alone for marriage, I never wanted kids for medical reasons, and dating for me was a disaster -- quit at 46, some of us are simply not meant to be married, for years I felt like a failure for not marrying, at 68 I finally let it go, I'm at peace with it
GREAT VIDEO STEPHANIE!! I AGREE WITH YOU 100%. SINCE MY DIVORCE I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO BE HAPPY BEING SINGLE. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WIFE, BUT I DO NOT NEED A WIFE. I AM GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE FRIENDS I HAVE MADE ON MY JOURNEY. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND APPRECIATE ALL YOU DO FOR ME. I THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU.
Being single is a wonderful, liberating way of life. Sure it's nice IF you find connection, but life does not revolve around a love partner for fullfilment. A person who is empty inside will be empty with another the minute things go wrong, and then they have 2 problems. Just like someone who has an addiction and thinks the substance is the real problem. If they're lucky, they'll find out that the substance just masked another problem, and now they have 2 problems, the substance and the original issue. If you're content and you meet someone else, then you'll be content there too (unless they are bringing chaos into your life).
Thank you. This is something I need to learn. For basically all of my life, I've always done things to impress other people, and I've always needed the idea that I'm a good, smart, kind, blah blah blah person reflected back to me from others, instead of just knowing it, myself. This advice you give in your videos is stuff that I previously had absolutely no understanding of, and no idea how to accomplish it. You are awesome and I really appreciate what you do.
This is a little on a tangent but you talked about this in a way that reminded me of an issue with people in general. Most people think in terms of 'what can I get out of a relationship' or what they want from someone else. This way of thinking is not only self centered but largely part of the issue with modern people. Very few people think in terms of what do I bring to a relationship? How can I help to make a friend or partner's day better? Can I make them laugh or be supportive in some way? No, instead most adults, if these children can be called adults, only think of what they can get from others. Many seem to think they are entitled to have others do things for them or entertain them in some way. It's a sad state of the human species that seems to only further deteriorate in morals as time goes on. People are becoming more narcissistic over time not less. Even nicer people seem very narcissistic these days. That said everything else you talked about in terms of avoiding negative self talk or being self supportive is even more crucial in the increasingly narcissistic and toxic world we now find ourselves in. Nice video overall.
I enjoy being single.. What IS challenging though is working nightshift in a hospital during COVID while being single. We are already isolated from the waking world in general. Highly exhausted.. Highly stressed and feeling alone anyway. No problem being single.. But right now some support in the middle of the night when off and it's dark and most everyone else lives in the day and BACKWARDS from us.... And EVEN WALMART is closed... would be nice. There is nothing wrong with wanting human connection and support and closeness. It's normal AND it's okay. Mental illness is real. Depression is real. Feeling alone and being tired of it and NOT wanting to be is not only REAL... But also normal and okay.
I kinda like being single because I focus on god and what I want. I realize I'm not like everyone else. I'm going to be patient and wait for the right time to date.
This video was so very impactful. You dropped some really important gems about self care. Thank you for this video! Keep it up, what you are doing matters and is incredibly helpful.
I would rather be alone than be someone who makes me miserable to please society. Not everyone meets their match in this lifetime.
Oh poor you, you're too picky so you're single 😭
Yes girl. You are worth more than anyone makes you feel like less
Single women live longer, single men die sooner. So think about who really needs a relationship
Yep! Be your own party and love yourself! Better than being in a toxic relationship!!!!
True that sister ♡
I enjoy being single. Single does not equal loneliness. When people ask me why I’m still single I respond “I don’t want to be occupied when the right person comes along”.
Gwen Lee: Right! 👍
I guess you are still young
Channel Tools Care to elaborate on this comment? I’m not having a go, I’m just genuinely curious why being young is an excuse to have this mentality.
@@Ken-dm5xt because when you are a woman and in your late 30s, it's not fun to be single. Society pressure and biological clock, you know
Channel Tools I see
This woman is amazing, she makes everyone feel worth living. Thank you for all your empathy and help.
awwww, what a nice thing to say
I agree 💯! She’s got that special quality in talking to people who struggle with tough topics and people. Thanks Stefanie!
I 110% agree!!!
Agree ! She is a light. Very wise
Yes I agree with you 🙌🏾
I rather grow old being single than being miserable in a toxic relationship.
Dam right👌🏾👍🏽👍🏽
💯
Save yourself so much time, energy, effort, money, and no domestic abuse etc
True, but there is no reason those are the only two options.
I'm with you because I'd rather be happy and single than married and miserable. People should be able to live their life the way they want to without being judged.
I don't struggle with being single. I always feel I am living my best life when I am single.
keep lying to yourself
@@bennyblanco6317 how do you know that ?
@@bennyblanco6317 WDYM?
@@bennyblanco6317keep being desperate for attention instead of first loving yourself.
Learning to be happy by yourself ensures you will never be lonely whether you're in a relationship or not.
🙌🏻
Gee thanks internet Dad
WOW!!! PROFOUND AND SO TRUE!!! YOU ARE SO MY GOD OF THE MOMENT!!!
@@stevemajic2958 lower-case g. ;)
"Oh God, I'm dying..."
Single doesn’t mean lonely ....
Single brings me more peace than any wrong relationship. I love being able to focus on myself with absolutely no guilt. Lol 😂 I love enjoying my day and planning my future. It literally feels like a vacation- especially weekends.
SL Life I wish i had stayed single.
💚☺️
Cant wait to be single. Peace is all i want
@@artgirl7480 you can still do.,
Why do you regret your present?
@@sialo6373 I am making my present moments as meaningful as possible. I married a man whose personality changed after I married him. He was no longer fun loving and easy going. He is demanding and controlling. I make my present moments as positive as I can and I avoid being around him as much as possible.
After 30 years of unhappy relationships, I now find myself approaching the half-century mark and alone. Yes, this is painful-the last one took a huge chunk out of me when there was little left to begin with. Yes, I'm lonely, but for the RIGHT man, not Mr. Right Now. But I also feel that this time has been given to me to learn, to grow, to refine myself into the best me I can be. So I'm taking this time to refresh my passion, move forward and look back only when I have to-to see how much I've grown as a person. It isn't easy or painless, but I really don't have a choice. This is the hand I was dealt. It's up to me to figure out how to play it effectively.
I’m using this space and time as opportunity to evolve for my highest and greatest good.
Yes!
👍🏽💃🏽
Damm good video.
Yes, if you are not ok in being single, you will not be ok in a relationship.
Giovanni Proietto great point 💯💯
Yes spot on
Too true. Only you can make you happy. Even in a relationship you just choose to live around someone.
Can one be TOO happy being single? I feel I am so comfortable I may never be in a relationship again. I don't even, look at men. Like, I talk to them, and I'm friendly, and if we get along great, but I never think oh I'm gonna go after that guy, or, is he single? It doesn't even occur to me.
Cant wait til i get like this
I'm jealous I want to be like that
@@Nokss_20 Hey don't worry you will be it only takes practice, It's like learning a new language. The first few months you're really rubbish at it and then a few years later, you're fluent, and you can't even remember what it was like not to speak the language.
Wow ....this is good to hear because I have felt that way for some time now... I have guy who says that he is my friend but always tries to make me feel guilty about my singleness...I just not interested in him that way at all ...I am divorced and good with being single, and yes there are times that get lonely but I stay too busy to let it bother me.......
@Tony Rowan Y'know, I think, if we were all that way we would probably have healthier relationships with each other. As people. Without expectations.
A few days ago I was just praying to god to teach me how to be happily single and now here you are. Talk about divine manifestation. I thank you so much 🙏🏾
God*
Social media has never fooled me because I know what goes on behind closed doors I am a advice coach and I get so many phone calls and emails that shows me exactly what is happening in these households and it's not pretty
Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child.
1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons.
John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind.
What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.”
We start feeling lonely, because we are on our own, lonely comes not from BEING ALONE. We all suffer of something and as we like “diagnoses” then lets diagnose ourselves: too often in the company of people, leading us to fear ALONE TIME, which each soul needeth.
KJV Bible says;
Matthew 6:31
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Luke 12:22
And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
Matthew 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
I am committed to staying single for the rest of my life. NEVER AGAIN!
Being single is the greatest. Peace in your life. No psychotic drama. People are not wired to get along
people forget, many couples after long marriages simply outgrow each other or get tired of marriage, they divorce amicably and life goes on, the partners still love each other, but they are now moving in different directions -- this is the new pool of singles today
I’m enjoying not having drama & abuse in my life. I have my two cats for company. I don’t need anyone. I can do stuff for myself by myself. My circle is small & I’m slowly healing. Thank You for all your advice & time. 💕🙏🏻 Appreciate it ! Blessings ❤️
J G amen
Relationships don't equal drama and abuse. If you have relationships with drama and abuse, the first thing you need to look at is you.
@@themacocko6311 yes self analysis & self reflection is good. I’m aware I’ve been an enabler & fixer in the past & I am fixing that!
Victim blaming is not so good!
A lot of people on social media are just “show offs” they want a partner for the sake of putting pictures on Instagram and Facebook, they need validation from their family and friends. It seems to me that they need to convince the world that they are happy. Partners are not trophies, people in healthy relationships don’t need everyone’s approval.
I was thinking about the same thing this is why I don't have no social Media anymore.. I don't need no one knowing my business anymore .. especially who I am .. I am going to get better at things
I even did a fake proposal just to show her friends that i am proposing to her! FAKE EMOTIONS! A PROPOSAL IS SUPPOSE TO BE A SURPRISE, NOT PLANNED!!! My partner if a pretender! Too much jealousy and insecurities on social media!
Well said
Facts on facts I really think that's the reason why ppl wanna be in a relationship soooo bad. Social Media made it a trend, I rather have something real that will lasts (in real life) not fast ( for the pics, tags etc) just to prove others I got "somebody"
Once I was walking around the park & I saw a couple.. they were sitting normal but when they noticed me they kissing each other for a minute 😂🤣
I believe being single makes you stronger, mentally speaking.
Yes Nikola Tesla would agree with you there!
Yessss
It shows how much we need to learn to love ourselves first!
We’re not taught how to do this stuff. Just takes time and patients with yourself 💗
Thanks for teaching us, Stephanie!
I could not agree more!
I'm learning not to be codependent. Learning how to be single. I'm a hopeless, hopefully romantic. My desire to be with someone has gotten me in bad relationships & I allow my boundaries to be crossed. Also, I trying to learn to be in the moment. When a guy shows some kind of interest in me, I start thinking about the maybes, is he's. Trying to just enjoy the moment. Anyway, I know that I'm not ready to be in a relationship with someone else at this point. I've only been divorced for 9 months after being married to an abusive narcissist husband. Trying to use this time to heal ,improve my self love & care, & to strengthen my inner core confidence. I truly believe that there is someone who is right for me & what I deserve. Trying to improve on myself so when I meet him, I'll be a whole & healthy person mentally & emotionally!💖
*Learning to be happy being single is a great*
*teaching tool for being happy when you are married. 😍*
Ups. It did NOT helped me. I was sooooo incredibly happy as a single person, living alone for 10 years. Then I got married and in 5 years of marriage, I gradually lost my happiness until I realized that I'm not happy any more and divorced. I was happy again single again. Somehow, this tool didn't serve me in marriage.
Where did you begin
@@user-ee5om8wy7u That's because being happy single is not a teaching tool for being happy married.
My best relationship is with myself!
My first relationship is with Jesus Christ.
I love my own company and goodness!
I love to travel alone, dine alone, enjoy alone.
It is good!
Have you been to Disney alone? I have been alone twice and that is how I prefer it, it's a great experience.
I definitely enjoy alone too, but I'm learning to let myself open up and connect with people as before I would just be more closed off and I realized this wasn't healthy for me. (Not saying you, because I don't like to assume -it's one of my pet peeves, lol.. just sharing me personally. And definitely Jesus Christ.. 🤗😍
Me too God is first in my life always in Jesus name 🙏🙏
Amen. Btw the Bible says that it’s not good for a man to be alone.
Me: Welp. I think I’m gonna die alone. And I’m fine with that.
I am recently out of a 21 year relationship. At 40, my wife and I decided that we weren't happy together anymore. I know I need to find who I am but I already jumped head over heals into a new relationship that was everything I wanted except the feelings. I realized I need to be at peace with who I am. I need to find myself. I am very scared but I know this is needed. Thank you for your perfect words. I'll look deeper into your video collection. Thank you for finding yourself which allows you to help others in the same situation.
I’m fresh out of a toxic relationship. I am ready to face the world in my singleness. I am a child of the most high God. He has work for me to do while I’m passing through here. Now I can focus more on my purpose and continue being a great mother to my 3 children. I’d rather be a door keeper in the house of the lord than to dwell in the gates of wickedness. 🌻
Thank you so much Stephanie. This is the first time I've been single in 12 years and I've realized that I haven't been able to give to myself until now as I always put the other person first. I love it so much in fact that the I don't even want a partner. Lol I've never been so happy and fulfilled as I am now learning how to fill my own cup!! It feels so good!!! ❤️❤️❤️
keep lying to yourself
@@bennyblanco6317 WDYM?????
❤❤ same!!
I LOVE being single
Yes me.too..I can do anything what I want
@@happydogg312 that's my brother you idiot
My partner of five years and I broke up three days ago because we want different things in life but we still love each other. I really needed this video today ❤
All so true! After 2 yrs being single I am in the earliest stage of even considering trying again, yet you’re right Steph: I am truly loving being alone! There has been such a peace in our home since my ex left. My kids and I are so enjoying each other and such a closeness in our relationship that I’m not in a hurry to change that. I think you’re right about the pressures around us. Even my supportive family and friends ask me when I’m going to get back out there! I think for me it has to be a really organic and natural situation, maybe almost when i least suspect it will happen. But in the meantime I’m enjoying the peace, healing, and joy of being with my kiddos and myself!:)
I think all attractive women are taken. You would not have a problem finding a good man.
Nice to know others feel the same about the organic relationship outside of today's narcisstic society. Did you end up finding someone, this comment is 3 years old.
I honestly plan to remain single. The complexities of finding a healthy, integrity driven individual for me is quite much. I don’t want to settle with a person. So my journey now isn’t about getting through single hood until I meet someone but really knowing that this is lifelong and I don’t have to put myself in a position to get hurt emotionally which has been my entire relationship experience.
Then do so! God bless you in your journey!
I’d rather be alone than being with someone who makes me feel miserable. Now I love me great video ❤️
I hope one day if you are with someone then it is someone that brings you every happiness in life
Stephanie I am going through a divorce and and frozen. I’m so afraid to be alone. Thank you for your videos. I appreciate your coaching, education and advice.
Being single is a bless, we have a precious time to go deep inside and work on our issues. Everyone has issues to resolve even the people who are in a relationship. Being single and use this period of time to know yourself better would bring you consciousness and happiness within yourself or with other human being. When we are in a romantic relationship not always do the work on ourselves as we get distracted by it thinking we are fine, but once we break up and find ourselves alone is when all the internal voids come up to the surface. Some people take their time staying single and become a better version, others chose to jump into another relationship to filled the void.
I listened to this video, because today has been tough. I'm usually content or even overjoyed, to be single! But today was different for a few reasons. I escaped the narc almost 3yrs ago, & our divorce was finally finalized 2½mo ago. Today, I felt beautiful, sexy even... and then it sucked to have no one else to enjoy that moment with. So I listened to your video. Thank you for re-centering me & reminding me that the single life is nothing to be sad over! 💜
Thank you!!!! I really needed this. I've been single for the past 5 years. I have kids, but I still feel lonely. Thank you for the tips
Me too. I feel like its normal and natural to want to be with a partner..we're social beings..
I love you!!!! I had over 3 years of built up stress in my life that finally came to blows this passed March. It was a very dark time in my life and I knew I needed to get some kind of help, but who is there to help you at 1 am when you’re trying to fall asleep.... well for me it was you and I absolutely appreciate the self help you have shared with the world. Much love to you 💕😊👍🏼
I’m SO glad I was able to help during those times 🙌 you are not alone!
Live,Laugh,and Be happy you are here life is to be cherished and embraced..........
Taking time to be single & learn how to be your own best friend is an amazing journey. If you think of it as a vacation from living up to social norms, it’s easier to embrace. Once I feel I have healed from CPTSD and created a life worth living for my every day, I’ll be ready to share my world with another❤️. Good luck to anyone who is also ready to live a fabulously single life 🍀
I'm 58, never married, and very happily single. I have complete freedom, independence, and financial security. I was in relationships constantly from the age of 18 to the age of 38, and I don't miss any of them.
I am in such a dark spot in my life and Stephanie keeps me going in life. Please do more videos towards us women over 50 trying to date again.
Don't try,just be happy with yourself otherwise you come across as needy ,show the world you are comfortable and they will want to be with you 🌸
Yes. Woman over 50 are not invisible. We can be advised as well. We are here. We are not low hanging fruit
I’ve been loving myself every day - it’s now Me, myself and I 👍
This hits so many things that pertain to me - the stories I tell myself about why I've always been single. My need for better self-talk/self-parenting. My fears of the future. My self-worth taking a hit because I've never had sex with anyone
Love this advice! I have lots to be thankful and grateful for. I don’t need a relationship to fulfill my life. Changed my mindset.
You are the type of woman I need to have in my life. Just got out of a toxic relationship a few months ago with a woman who cant stay single more then a month or so max. I wanna meet someone that takes the time to love them selves and picks someone of value not just because they are there. Im very guilty of settling and it always gets me in trouble with the wrong women. My last relationship sucked all the life out of me.
May God grant you your heart desires
I'm using this time and space to heal, grow and work on myself on becoming the best version off me. The better I become the better life and people I will attract
You are my AM guru. Your voice and advice echoes throughout my day---
This is so what I needed. And I told myself that I needed to work on self-love but that didn't feel like the right word. Self-Parenting is EXACTLY the term I've been looking for, thank you!
Hi Stephanie. This is so true. I have a lot work to do about self talk and embrace myself..Thanks for the message
Thank you so much. I try to give myself the love I cannot receive from the world. I do enjoy you pointing out it's ok to date and be in the moment. I was single for 4 years but extremely fearful of getting hurt again, so when I started dating I dove into a whirlwind romance and fell flat on my face. I know now in order to get better at dating and being satisfied with who I am. I need to be what I want to attract. It's also ok to be lonely. I'm asking God to change my perspective on that.
I got away from my narcissist 4 months ago and have found joy in solo traveling. It's so fun and liberating! You really learn to love yourself, rely on yourself, and truly enjoy your own company. I've never been to the Pacific Northwest so I recently went to Seattle by myself for a few days. It was really fun and next I plan on traveling solo internationally.
I really enjoy this video, Bc society also judges being single I see your video and it makes me feel good.
Love it!
I don't know what I want but I will be patient with myself and love myself
I read a topic for my exams .Now chilling ,eating and seeing outside. No regrets. All people I met were narcissist. Thank God ,I never entered a relationship with any of these people. I ain't gonno compromise .I will make a career and wait and watch,who God has for me.
Great! All the best! It is better to alone than be with a miserable man!
I am 40 and single for 3 years recovering from Codependency , AVPD, Anxiety & Stress disorders( CPTSD) ect.. Stephanie, as always your video strikes the heart of people who are abused/neglected in all forms. The negative self talk, thought patterns (victim stories) & emotional flashbacks is our manifestation of a EGO (our unconscious bodyguard), who we invented to avoid pain traps in life. Our inner wounded child being innocent & naïve has been neglected, for few manipulated (shamed, abused, lied ect.) or Abandoned Emotionally. It's really hard to validate this broken inner masterpiece, but I can assure you there's nothing more satisfying than accepting, nurturing, trusting and loving an alienated self. Rightly said by Stephanie ,that healing is a life long process which each one of us have embarked on and continue every single day. And on this journey please be kind, gentle, patient, caring ect. to thyself which allows you be you in the moment. Thanks Stephanie for guiding us in a path of awakening.Love to all, in your healing path.
I so get this!!! I long to be in a relationship however I struggle with them. But also how jealous I feel when I see others all “happy” in relationships
Your videos help so much! My mother is narcissistic, growing up was aweful but I keep boundaries w/ her now. My recent bf of 3yrs was also narcissistic (I guess it was familiar grounds so I stayed). I've learned so much being single for a yr now! I'm so much happier & learning to keep a fence up instead of a full wall! (That was in one of your videos).
Thank you for this, it's really helpful!
This in particular really hit home:
"When you're living in the moment, practicing mindfulness, that is where happiness lives, because you're not thinking about yesterday and you're not worried about tomorrow"
THANK YOU!! You hit on points I never considered. I appreciate it.
I am alone. I am learning to be comfortable being this way. 💪🙏🧙♂
I love every word of this video, so so true.
This is so Good! Thank you!! Love it all especially around 11:49, 'being in the moment/being present LOVE it!
"The only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You're only here now; You're only alive in this moment."
Jon Kabat-Zinn
I dated a con man and I didn’t know until he raged at me for silly things in month three. Thank God that woke me up. I put his key on the counter and said this is your key that you gave me and left. Do you know that SOB came to my apartment at 2:00 trying to get in! I never gave him my key. What I did though was anticipate what he was going to do. I thank Jesus for guiding me in changing my locks. Total game changer. I’m so happy and thankful I’m single.
I filed for divorce 2 and a half years ago after a 23 year marriage to a very abusive narcissist, I was 53. I found Stephanie 2 years ago and her videos have been really helpful. I totally agree with her advice about enjoying being single. During these last two and a half years I started walking 15 minutes a day. I am up to one hour, I walk between 4 to 5 miles daily with my dogs. I have so much energy! I do monthly hikes with a women's group. I have done several 5k marathons to support causes I care about. I feed the homeless twice a month. I have found a new love for gardening. I have read many interesting books. I have reconnected with so many girlfriends. I enjoy going to the movies, shopping or to a quiet dinner. I spend quality time with my adult children. We go to brunch or take short weekend trips. I get such great quality sleep, there's no more snoring. I am staring my 33 year of teaching and I am still loving it. I am hoping the divorce finalizes this year and I am hoping to start dating. However I am so glad I have spend all this time enjoying being single, finding myself, loving and taking care of myself and finding new interests. I hadn't been this happy in the last 25 years. Thank you Stephanie for your great videos.
My mother did all of those things you listed married, plus she cooked and cleaned the house. That was in the 60s.The American people have become a bunch of pansies!
glad you found freedom as a single, it feels great to have control over your own life, friends and pets can often be better companions than a spouse!
Wow I needed to hear this❤ thank you so much!!!!!!👍👍👍👍👍👍
I’m working out as I’m listening to this. Love this thank you so much I will enjoy my single self ❤️
I always listen to speakers mom working out… I would say 80% of the time I’m listening to some kind of a motivational person! Best time to be feeding your mind 🙌
Thank you Stephanie - you’re videos are so reassuring after a serious 7 year relationship.
So blessed to have found her vids. Going through a Breakup and these helping tremendously. I'm watching EVERY ONE. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with the world
You speak so much truth and makes so much sense. Keep up the great work.
It's odd to me that there are so many videos on how to be happy single. My biggest life struggle so far has been how to be happy in a relationship, how to not feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm missing out, etc. I've tried it a couple of times because of social pressure, but to be honest I am always much more balanced, energised and excited about life when I'm on my own. I enjoy watching romantic movies for entertainment but my inside voice always goes: ' I'm so glad that's not me!' 🤣🤣
Thank you so much for what you do💕 I’m fresh out of a 3 year relationship. It’s been really hard at night when I’m alone. A friend of mine suggested watching your videos and you have really helped me to get out of that sad state of mind. You make so many good points and have really great/healthy advice. Thank you so so much💕
This woman is the greatest
I really liked your each word. It's so true. Its all pressure from our surrounding and society. We start looking outside and compare and live. We are very much an individual who don't need to look at others or listen to others for what and when we need. And even when is our right time Or if time is running out. We don't even know for how long we are alive. Time is now. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for providing such a positive channel with the tools I never learned how to use growing up!
I dont need a man to "take care of me". Im an adult, I know how to take care of myself. Not all marriages are happy ones.
Had my first ever narcissist recently... after discovering the lies and deceit, I went in a campaign of discovery, even contacting ex boyfriends and guys she was using on the side... she didn’t know what hit her. It was almost fun stripping away all she constructed thinking she was smarter than everyone else. Some of her exes are absolutely destroyed emotionally... I’ve been literally counselling the guys and showing them who she really was. She went nuts and even tried coordinate with her friends to drug me/maybe even with intent to kill. Couldn’t make this up! But I’ve learnt so much in the last few days of binge-watching these videos and reading up on NPD, BPD and empaths..., almost feel like starting a channel myself! Hey Steph, you single? 😉
I love your channel so positive and looks at self (instead of blaming which keeps us in victim mode) its empowering.
thankyou x
Coach Stephanie is Hands Down the best Self Help Coach.💜
I adore you and your work. Your such a genuine person that loves helping people better their lives and I really admire that 🥰
All advice and suggestions coming from someone talking through own experience is so very convincing.... It is so sad that there are so many people, particularly women who are alone and have hard time dealing with it. Thanks a lot for this video.
Your awesome!!! I totally forgot how great it is to be single till I watched your video. I’ve been single 3 years now! I enjoy all your posts but this one really hit home, thanks for being so real with all of us! ❤️👍🏻🎉
This video is great! You are so smart & insightful. Thank you!:)
You are an amazing speaker....I enjoy your videos/guidance. You bring up so many great points and give great advice. Thank you !
I grew up with toxic family, so I never learned how to pick the right people for friends let alone for marriage, I never wanted kids for medical reasons, and dating for me was a disaster -- quit at 46, some of us are simply not meant to be married, for years I felt like a failure for not marrying, at 68 I finally let it go, I'm at peace with it
Well said Bro ! I’m exactly the same ! 😊
This is so where I am, right now. Very helpful! Thank you so much!
One of the best & easiest & generel & specific motivation & life advice videos...I've ever seen...Steph ... is the best...forget about the rest..m
Being single make you wise and learn if the wrong decisions so u can make better choices for the next relationship and most of all be more loving 🥰
I was feeling shit tonight and I tuned in to your video. It really helped. Thank you.
GREAT VIDEO STEPHANIE!! I AGREE WITH YOU 100%. SINCE MY DIVORCE I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO BE HAPPY BEING SINGLE. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WIFE, BUT I DO NOT NEED A WIFE. I AM GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE FRIENDS I HAVE MADE ON MY JOURNEY. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND APPRECIATE ALL YOU DO FOR ME. I THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU.
Being single is a wonderful, liberating way of life. Sure it's nice IF you find connection, but life does not revolve around a love partner for fullfilment. A person who is empty inside will be empty with another the minute things go wrong, and then they have 2 problems. Just like someone who has an addiction and thinks the substance is the real problem. If they're lucky, they'll find out that the substance just masked another problem, and now they have 2 problems, the substance and the original issue. If you're content and you meet someone else, then you'll be content there too (unless they are bringing chaos into your life).
I'm actually happy and contented being single It's easy in many ways. And I know My God loves me so much. Thank you😊
Thank you. This is something I need to learn. For basically all of my life, I've always done things to impress other people, and I've always needed the idea that I'm a good, smart, kind, blah blah blah person reflected back to me from others, instead of just knowing it, myself.
This advice you give in your videos is stuff that I previously had absolutely no understanding of, and no idea how to accomplish it. You are awesome and I really appreciate what you do.
True happiness is found in solitude. Great video Stephanie.
You are who they called beautiful inside and out! Enjoyed all your videos and golden teachings. Thank you, Stephenie🙏
Thank you for all your amazing videos! They helped me so much to go through the hardest time of my life and finally to start understating myself .
This is a little on a tangent but you talked about this in a way that reminded me of an issue with people in general. Most people think in terms of 'what can I get out of a relationship' or what they want from someone else. This way of thinking is not only self centered but largely part of the issue with modern people. Very few people think in terms of what do I bring to a relationship? How can I help to make a friend or partner's day better? Can I make them laugh or be supportive in some way? No, instead most adults, if these children can be called adults, only think of what they can get from others. Many seem to think they are entitled to have others do things for them or entertain them in some way. It's a sad state of the human species that seems to only further deteriorate in morals as time goes on. People are becoming more narcissistic over time not less. Even nicer people seem very narcissistic these days. That said everything else you talked about in terms of avoiding negative self talk or being self supportive is even more crucial in the increasingly narcissistic and toxic world we now find ourselves in. Nice video overall.
This is great topic! Please do more videos like this❤❤❤👍👍👍
Amazing. Thank you! Single for the first time in many years and learning to love myself and take care of myself in every way ❤️
Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire 💯
I enjoy being single.. What IS challenging though is working nightshift in a hospital during COVID while being single.
We are already isolated from the waking world in general. Highly exhausted.. Highly stressed and feeling alone anyway.
No problem being single.. But right now some support in the middle of the night when off and it's dark and most everyone else lives in the day and BACKWARDS from us.... And EVEN WALMART is closed... would be nice.
There is nothing wrong with wanting human connection and support and closeness.
It's normal AND it's okay.
Mental illness is real. Depression is real.
Feeling alone and being tired of it and NOT wanting to be is not only REAL... But also normal and okay.
I kinda like being single because I focus on god and what I want. I realize I'm not like everyone else. I'm going to be patient and wait for the right time to date.
This video was so very impactful. You dropped some really important gems about self care. Thank you for this video! Keep it up, what you are doing matters and is incredibly helpful.