Getting your s**t together... What you're NOT being told!

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  • Опубліковано 4 лип 2024
  • Check out topmate.io/doriandevelops if you're interesting in chatting with me about anything!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 122

  • @SL2797
    @SL2797 18 днів тому +80

    The good thing about nobody caring about you and your self-improvement, is that you don't have to care about anybody else and their self-improvement :3

    • @jacksonvalad8012
      @jacksonvalad8012 18 днів тому +12

      You should care about others, but what you are saying is true as well

    • @changobeatz7648
      @changobeatz7648 18 днів тому +3

      @@jacksonvalad8012I don’t care about other people. That’s a dumb thing to put on another stranger

    • @LostSoulAscension
      @LostSoulAscension 18 днів тому +14

      @@changobeatz7648 Nah bro, the reality is if you go on long enough caring about nobody, then you will have no network of friends or people that you can rely on. People need each other, survival in humans was realizing that we are stronger together, not apart. It's taken me a long time to humble myself to this. You go on long enough with a pride thinking you can do it all on your own until you realize that everyone's succeeding together without you.

    • @changobeatz7648
      @changobeatz7648 18 днів тому +4

      @@LostSoulAscension I didn’t say isolate yourself. That’s not even remotely close to what I said

    • @keifer7813
      @keifer7813 15 днів тому +6

      ​@@changobeatz7648 So you surround yourself with people you don't care about? Sounds even worse 😂

  • @DavidWhispers
    @DavidWhispers 18 днів тому +90

    Hey dude I just wanted to tell you that you were pivotal in helping me quit weed. Your vid eloquently phrased almost everything I was experiencing. I appreciate you man, thank you 👊

    • @arnarn2827
      @arnarn2827 18 днів тому +4

      same .

    • @iLuvHardStyle
      @iLuvHardStyle 18 днів тому +4

      yall both quit weed? got any left?

    • @DavidWhispers
      @DavidWhispers 18 днів тому +7

      @@iLuvHardStyle LOL it’s in the trashcan in front of Pavillion’s Malibu but they prob emptied it by now since it’s been a couple weeks. You’re more than welcome to it if it’s still there tho ;) (3 eighths of diff sativas, vape pens, two pipes. Cold turkey. True story.) energy levels through the roof. I ain’t goin back.

    • @skaylingop9673
      @skaylingop9673 18 днів тому +9

      Hey dude. I just wanted to tell you that YOU are pivotal in helping you quit weed.

    • @DavidWhispers
      @DavidWhispers 18 днів тому

      @@skaylingop9673 🙏

  • @grahamashe9715
    @grahamashe9715 18 днів тому +49

    I hit rock bottom a few years ago. I was married for about two years but my ex-wife (and her rich dad) dragged me through all sorts of cases in court for 5 years. Hookers and booze got me through it. Now, however, I’m single and happier than ever. I even retired early at 45. I hope this little story inspires other guys out there that it’s quite possible for things to turn around significantly given time.

    • @ChangeYourSocks
      @ChangeYourSocks 16 днів тому +1

      🎉 thanks for sharing

    • @SuperThisishowwedo
      @SuperThisishowwedo 15 днів тому

      Does everyone need to go through their hooker phase?

    • @mothegoat6865
      @mothegoat6865 12 днів тому +2

      Glad your better now brother ✊🏿. Thanks for the inspiration. How did you retire at 45? I’m 26

    • @cristiancampechano2743
      @cristiancampechano2743 16 годин тому

      Dam them piece of shyt rich dads don’t play

  • @LostSoulAscension
    @LostSoulAscension 18 днів тому +20

    Self help doesn't talk about taking care of your dying parents and grandparents because it's too hyper specific n hard to speak to each person's situation, but moreso because that reality has nothing to do with chasing our dreams. This is the insignia that self-help has been industrialized to sell you on an idea, not the truth or reality we all face.

  • @RyansTechTrek
    @RyansTechTrek 18 днів тому +30

    This talk is incredibly based, solid 9/10. Here’s why:
    1. Honesty and Realism: The speaker doesn’t sugarcoat the truth about self-improvement. It’s tough, especially for those with significant challenges like addiction or a criminal past.
    2. Individual Responsibility: Emphasizes that nobody cares about your self-improvement as much as you do. Personal accountability is key.
    3. Avoiding Comparisons: Stresses the importance of not comparing yourself to others, which is crucial for mental resilience and focusing on personal growth.
    4. Small Steps Towards Big Goals: Highlights breaking down big goals into manageable steps, a practical approach to achieving long-term objectives.
    5. Persistence and Consistency: Self-improvement is a lifelong journey requiring continuous effort, not a one-time fix.
    6. Addressing Demons and Old Habits: Acknowledges that old habits and negative influences will always be a challenge, showing a deep understanding of personal development struggles.
    7. Self-Motivation: Talks about the importance of being self-motivated and finding personal reasons to stay on track, rather than relying on external validation.
    8. Realistic Expectations: Makes it clear that self-improvement won’t happen overnight and requires long-term commitment, preparing individuals for the effort needed.
    9. Encouragement and Hope: Despite the tough love, offers hope by sharing personal experiences and progress, motivating others to keep going.
    This talk is a masterclass in authentic, no-nonsense, sustainable self-improvement. 💪

    • @croissants1280
      @croissants1280 17 днів тому +4

      What GPT are you?

    • @RyansTechTrek
      @RyansTechTrek 16 днів тому

      ​@@croissants1280 I made a ChatGPT agent to find the most based books on the internet, then made a brain essentially and created another ChatGPT agent and named it, Gigadad.

    • @myeyesaredrymylove
      @myeyesaredrymylove 3 дні тому

      What in the AI?

  • @juanm.206
    @juanm.206 18 днів тому +7

    I like to hear you talk about these things, with simplicity and honesty. It's like listening to my older brother, if he hadn't lost himself in alcohol and drugs.

  • @Dollartrumpsign
    @Dollartrumpsign 17 днів тому +12

    I wish my mom was more supportive but since my dad passed she totally switched up, you’ll be surprised how toxic and childish grown women can be, just have to grind and leave on good terms, at least it has helped me mature, but I wish I had support man. I can’t stop carrying the boats though.

    • @lolife1981
      @lolife1981 3 дні тому

      Help people lift their burdens, but do not carry them.

    • @lolife1981
      @lolife1981 3 дні тому +1

      Been there; Still there. It’s a challenge to your humanity and masculinity. In most cultures, Mothers are a seen as can’t do no wrong. Yet many do wrong and as you stated toxic af, childish, selfish, etc. So when you mention the challenges with her, most people will try to look down upon you because their dynamic is different. Do what you can. She is an adult. Decisions have consequences.
      Love yourself first, then others. Parents are not immune to this rule.

  • @alleyesonmeino.c180
    @alleyesonmeino.c180 День тому +1

    I've made so much progress in the last 5 years but recently got back into old addictions and bad habits trying so hard to get my self back on track , fighting my demons they don't give up

  • @motherlandchronicles
    @motherlandchronicles 6 днів тому +3

    Man you really dropping gems, love your vids like this, been helping me pick up my life again at 29.

  • @suraangel6956
    @suraangel6956 18 днів тому +2

    Your channel is so wholesome honestly. I want to see you succeed.

  • @Creatio.Ex-Nihilo1
    @Creatio.Ex-Nihilo1 10 днів тому +1

    I want to extend my gratitude but saying thank you for your extension. Your words are felt and reaches to those who striving for a difference.... including myself. It is not only motivation but a reminder that though we are separate individuals but many of us as a whole - are carrying the same objective for better. Positivity is the encouraging tool that helps us to keep sight at the end of the goal. Thank you brother.

  • @VoislavVasiljevski
    @VoislavVasiljevski 18 днів тому +16

    It's extremely hard to get your life together if you have no support from your wife.

    • @mvrtinxz650
      @mvrtinxz650 18 днів тому +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @jn1450
      @jn1450 18 днів тому

      It's hard to get help from your wife if you aren't married.😂

    • @VoislavVasiljevski
      @VoislavVasiljevski 18 днів тому +3

      @@jn1450 better not married , than badly married ;) :)

    • @quinlanal-aziz6155
      @quinlanal-aziz6155 5 днів тому

      That’s your wife’s sucks not your life

    • @jaycole6824
      @jaycole6824 5 днів тому +4

      This sounds like an anxious attachment style on your behalf. Do not depend on anyone to validate your decisions along your journey. Find and love yourself first, even before your wife. She will divorce you due to this display of weakness and vulnerability. She will or does not feel secure if you express this mentality into facets of your life. This is a warning shot for you to get it together or lose everything. Don't get lost in her sauce. Make your own, and share with her. Your strength will cause her to unconsciously want to enter her feminine and then support you. You are the cause of the effects for which you desire in life, whether you're aware of it or not. Support yourself, and she will follow and validate your lead as you now wish her to.

  • @dbencic
    @dbencic 20 годин тому +1

    Truth is a hard pill to swallow!
    Extra important to surround oneself with people who are a good influence - that for me has been the most challenging part of any change I’ve ever attempted so far.
    Also- what actually gives me a sense of fulfillment and purpose in life (aka “success”) might seem bizarre and unimportant to “others” whether they have their “s..t together “ or not.
    People prefer being able to categorize something as good or bad, favorable or undesirable…
    Even just stepping out of the norm will always inevitably provoke fear or jealousy in others and push their insecurities to the surface - unless they themselves have made such progress in the past and can relate to it …
    We are social beings and we need each other, but sometimes you just have to be the black sheep and not fall off the cliff with the heard … in the end, that’s just what Leadership looks like …

  • @synchro-dentally1965
    @synchro-dentally1965 13 днів тому +3

    Recent studies have shown the importance of getting proper nutrition and how it can even easily affect one's personality. Easily overlooked and a very common problem is simply having a vitamin D3 deficiency. For anyone having addiction issues take a look at your diet. It may help more than you know.

  • @enic-ma
    @enic-ma 18 днів тому +2

    You know what, I follow you long time ago but in the last year, you have been making really great stuff that make people think, that's better than programming stuff! Amazing your video you got me! :)

  • @inquisitivelycurious2187
    @inquisitivelycurious2187 2 дні тому +2

    Smart straight talk. Just landed on your channel right on, subbed.

  • @gizmodagimp9178
    @gizmodagimp9178 18 днів тому +6

    Another reminder on keeping up the good habits!🧚‍♂

  • @WolfWhite-kj1nr
    @WolfWhite-kj1nr 14 днів тому +1

    Wow this is really good advice thank you ☺️

  • @efrainromeroprado1190
    @efrainromeroprado1190 18 днів тому +1

    life's hard
    thanks for this video, I needed it

  • @wanderingwarrior5626
    @wanderingwarrior5626 18 днів тому +3

    Absolutely, why most people never do leave their comfort zone. It's risky, scary, you have to keep a open mind, willingness to roll with the few punches along the way, have to have a lot of self confidence, sense of adventure, willingness to learn basic languages, cultures, to fit in, minimum of $1000usd for rent, food, utilities, etc.
    I know fellow Americans, their life is do miserable, but because, they are so hooked on booze, drugs, mental/physical health is so bad they will never move forward, even when someone promises to hold their hand the entire way.

  • @pdlrkpdlrk9971
    @pdlrkpdlrk9971 15 днів тому +1

    This came at the absolute perfect time - feel exactly the same too - dealt with the whole jail part too - one day at a time and doing 1 thing everyday to get closer to the goalpost is the only way. All the best brothers

  • @Mel-mu8ox
    @Mel-mu8ox 18 днів тому +2

    Been trying to get my life together for the past 2 years...
    And still struggling :/
    All the good habits in the world don't matter if your not constantly checking in with them. Very easy to start slipping into destructive behaviour.
    There's just not enough time in the day to do everything you need to do to stay healthy and learn to programme at a decent rate.
    Eventually your ganna have coffee in the first two hours of waking, skip that morning walk and get lost in reading the documentation while trying things out.
    5 - 10 hours later, you realise you've not moved, not eaten, missed your workout...
    And you've only got 5 lines of new code.... BUT... it Works !!!
    Feels GREAT...
    Maybe you'll do this again tomorrow... You know you shouldn't.... Its hard not to :/
    Once is fine... twice not great... 2 months, maybe there's a reason your overly emotional

  • @user-fw9rv6hl1h
    @user-fw9rv6hl1h 2 дні тому

    Good video man! Keep up the hard work on the sobriety.

  • @Girz0r
    @Girz0r 18 днів тому

    Hell yea man, this is very helpful

  • @hoquang7800
    @hoquang7800 10 днів тому +3

    You feel like a "proper" older brother that I've never had, thanks.

  • @Jane-sw1zh
    @Jane-sw1zh 18 днів тому

    Thank you for this.

  • @GuitarbyRW
    @GuitarbyRW 3 дні тому +1

    Very interesting, thanks

  • @yespython123
    @yespython123 18 днів тому

    one of my favorite new vids from you. Thanks Dorian!

  • @keifer7813
    @keifer7813 15 днів тому +5

    27 year old guy here. Self taught dev, and been trying to get my first job for a while now. No luck, so I'm applying to minimum wage jobs in the meantime. Sucks thinking how it's come to this at my age. Most people at least have a good number of years in a chosen career path. My last min wage job, they were all like 18-20 and I was 26. It's so embarrassing

    • @DorianDevelops
      @DorianDevelops  15 днів тому +6

      You got to do what you have to do to survive, there's no shame in that! Just keep your head up and put food on the table by any means necessary but don't settle! We all have set backs but we have to keep moving forward to get to where we want to be!

    • @keifer7813
      @keifer7813 15 днів тому +1

      @@DorianDevelops No doubt, man. I plan to, for sure. I've just had a shift in perspective these last few years. I used to believe success was possible for anyone that was willing to put in the work, but now I'm confident that it's mostly down to luck. 100 people could work just as hard to get into tech, and only a handful make it. So my expectations aren't as high anymore. I'll still keep going though

    • @BeepBoop2221
      @BeepBoop2221 15 днів тому

      Why is it embarrassing people switch careers all the time.

    • @keifer7813
      @keifer7813 15 днів тому

      @@BeepBoop2221 Because I'm still in a position typically held by high school/college kids

    • @jacoblong6258
      @jacoblong6258 7 днів тому

      @@keifer7813It’s only temporary!

  • @woobackbaby4290
    @woobackbaby4290 18 днів тому

    Just found your channel. Good perspective

  • @colinreidcr
    @colinreidcr 14 днів тому +3

    Ive got my own flat and trying to grow my photography business and Ive stopped drinking for 2 years but yet I still feel lonely and empty inside..

  • @istvanpraha
    @istvanpraha 3 дні тому +1

    Fitness ones leave out so much stuff particularly about diet. All those fitness diets made me constipated and raises my cholesterol

  • @CrabbyPattydelight
    @CrabbyPattydelight 2 дні тому

    Youve got to look inward to resolve issues with the self, nature can help more than any shrink. Take it slow, nature rewards courage

  • @Julijacreates
    @Julijacreates 13 днів тому

    Finally someone said it. I never searched for excuses but always struggled to explain to privileged friends that we do not have the same advantages and possibilities in life. By privileged I do not mean extreme financial wealth but the most basic things like having both parents.

  • @douglascounts4634
    @douglascounts4634 18 днів тому +2

    What country you in now? This one looks different from the last video I saw you in. Good insights.

  • @denitechYT
    @denitechYT 5 днів тому +1

    i love these types of videos,, more brother.

  • @mikemikel1629
    @mikemikel1629 11 днів тому +1

    thank you

  • @micahrutland9021
    @micahrutland9021 День тому +3

    I just want to get a nice girlfriend before the world ends. Ugh.

  • @loveandlike6747
    @loveandlike6747 7 днів тому

    Thanks a lot , for all your hardwork, I learned a lot , but I have a question, but when apply for jobs what kind of projects do I need for my resume ? do I need a project like a amazon or ebay I mean big project to get a job?

  • @Dennis-cs2vg
    @Dennis-cs2vg 6 днів тому

    Thank,s bro 👊🇳🇱👍

  • @jamesfreeman7954
    @jamesfreeman7954 5 днів тому +1

    No political party is going to save you but yourself.

  • @kyledennis2564
    @kyledennis2564 18 днів тому +1

    ....or just relocate where it's cheaper for easier adjustment.

  • @davidsantos8004
    @davidsantos8004 18 днів тому

    real good video

  • @moodsurfer
    @moodsurfer 18 днів тому +1

    Creating new “you” is hard as f.

  • @aaronaustrie
    @aaronaustrie 15 днів тому

    Thats exactly how I feel rn 🤦🏾‍♂️

  • @christiandauz3742
    @christiandauz3742 18 днів тому

    What if you still fail or never make any progress at all?
    Would you still try in defiance?

    • @jjoopagrabra2110
      @jjoopagrabra2110 18 днів тому +3

      What other option do we have?

    • @zueszues9715
      @zueszues9715 18 днів тому

      Try to helping people
      Long enough you will get help too
      "They life , people life better when you better youself in it "
      That way , some time life make we forcus on one direction too much

    • @zueszues9715
      @zueszues9715 18 днів тому

      1 magic trick
      Find a way to recharge youself that work
      If you can Quick charge youself everytime you down
      Then everyone else is not matter to you ,you can bring youself up alone
      Find that way that hobbies or action that work for you
      Boxing , swimming , drawing , etc whatever

  • @CrazyPromt
    @CrazyPromt 9 днів тому

    good video

  • @BeepBoop2221
    @BeepBoop2221 15 днів тому

    Also be very suspect of anyone trying to sell you self help based on "self reliance".
    Its a pathway that isolates you from other people , self help comes from community.

  • @user-wk8mw6to2g
    @user-wk8mw6to2g 16 днів тому +3

    Hey Dorian! Don't forget racism as a major stumbling block to gettin' your sh_t together.

  • @jimbojimbo6873
    @jimbojimbo6873 17 днів тому

    Johnny Sinns looking well

  • @chuvak001
    @chuvak001 17 днів тому

    помните пацаны, что изменять себя одновременно легче и сложнее, чем вы себе это представляли

  • @aaronaustrie
    @aaronaustrie 15 днів тому

    Me rn 🤦🏾‍♂️

  • @JackalGoldKick
    @JackalGoldKick 18 днів тому +2

    Good video. I been focused on this as well. The thing that's been taking the most time is addiction recovery. I been attempting to get sober from porn addiction I've had a lot of setbacks but recently have made some good stride I've also been trying to lose weight but that's been tough at times.

    • @BeepBoop2221
      @BeepBoop2221 15 днів тому

      There's no such thing as "porn addiction".

    • @JackalGoldKick
      @JackalGoldKick 15 днів тому

      @@BeepBoop2221 oh really? Google search,online study, science and statistics say otherwise. That's objectively wrong.

    • @BeepBoop2221
      @BeepBoop2221 15 днів тому

      @JackalGoldKick I've read a fair amount of the literature it's not "objectively wrong" that's not how science works.
      The closest you can get is sexual compulsive disorders, which isn't "porn addiction"

    • @JackalGoldKick
      @JackalGoldKick 15 днів тому

      @@BeepBoop2221 there is a such thing as porn addiction. Plenty of people have shared testimony of it and there experience and the negatives. I've experienced it myself it's given me depression,guilt,shame, anxiety,low self esteem ect. Its something that isn't possible to give up on willpower alone. It's done these same things to other people I know of too. If that isn't porn addiction then idk what it is but all I know is what the truth is and that's what matters. Some people just don't get it. It's very foolish to say this isnt a thing. Why would Kanye West or Lamar Odon talk about this being a addiction they deal with? Or thousands of others? Why does porn give me and many others who are addicted to all these problems? Cause let me tell you something. Ever since I gave up porn I've had less negative mental health issues,less depression, anxiety, guilt,shame, I'm more clear headed and I have more motivation and focus on things.

    • @JackalGoldKick
      @JackalGoldKick 15 днів тому

      @@BeepBoop2221 the addiction is real to say its not makes zero sense. It's gave me anxiety, depression,guilt,shame,low energy and low self esteem. It's done these same things to so many other people I know with the same addiction. If it's not a real thing then how come me and others couldn't just quit it off of willpower? Explain that. Explain why Kanye West and Lamar Odon would both come out and talk against it and admit having this issue. Or Terry crews. Ever since quiting this addiction I've had more focus and more clear headed and I'm not lazy or unmotivated anymore and I have less guilt shame and anxiety and I'm not in a bad place mentally.

  • @ALS_SK
    @ALS_SK 18 днів тому

    Yo!

  • @allseen89
    @allseen89 2 дні тому

    The first step to improving yourself is being honest with yourself. At least respect yourself enough to tell yourself the truth. The truth is you might try to improve yourself but you're still going to suck. Now at least with my advice you still suck but you're honest and you respect yourself. Thank me later🤝🏼

  • @RazorShalom
    @RazorShalom 6 днів тому

    Doesn’t matter what age you are. IF U DO NOT HAVE FAMILY. MOM DAD GF BF FRIENDS. YOU ARE SCREWED

  • @IbrahimDar-nu5tz
    @IbrahimDar-nu5tz 16 днів тому

    Bro you look like eminem

  • @ChangeYourSocks
    @ChangeYourSocks 18 днів тому

    I would love to pay to have a phone conversation with you.

  • @clouddylol
    @clouddylol 18 днів тому +1

    early !

  • @zugdsbtngizudsgbnudsdsoiu
    @zugdsbtngizudsgbnudsdsoiu 18 днів тому +1

    I think its wrong to tell people that noone cares for them. Thats total BS.

    • @bbenny350
      @bbenny350 9 днів тому +1

      You should elaborate, otherwise it just looks as you got your feelings hurt and you're just retaliating

    • @zugdsbtngizudsgbnudsdsoiu
      @zugdsbtngizudsgbnudsdsoiu 9 днів тому

      @@bbenny350 cant answer... everything is deleted

    • @bbenny350
      @bbenny350 8 днів тому

      @@zugdsbtngizudsgbnudsdsoiu I'm sorry, what?