I’m not proud of the manipulation that I’ve fallen for in the past. I’m glad I know better. It took a lot of growth and healing to love myself and be willing to cut ties with people that send mixed signals or just lied to string me along. There were inconsistencies. Sometimes, a person will do whatever they want if they know you like them or are attracted to them. I had to ask myself “Why are you dealing with this? You don’t have to!”. Now my peace of mind is the most important.
I think some narcissists need someone to idealize and devalue so they can re idealize their ex. Thats why they cycle between two people sometimes. They cant just reidealize their longterm partner after devaluing and discarding them, they have to devalue someone else in order to reidealize their ex.
Why do they want to possess the temporary supply, test the temporary supply, manipulate the supply when the supply wasn't taken serious by the narc in the first place?
This was the video I was WAITING for. I'm so happy that you did this topic. Because I think it's much hurtful that someone just stays for years with a narc and thinks they have a shot while they haven't. Especially in the healingjourney it causes a lot of shame to see others being married while you're in this dynamic. I hope you want to make more videos on this! Like why they choose placeholders, even when they didn't come out a relationship. Anyway this was a GREAT video, Lee!! Thank you!
Yup! My ex- Narc and I were on & off! It was ridiculous how much we were on & off. And during the times I would cut him (cause I was the one always taking us into an “off” period and break up when I would find out about him cheating), he would blow my phone up, send flowers, pop up at my house. He would do everything to get me back and earn another chance …. only to cheat again. It was just a vicious, toxic, emotional roller coaster. He always wanted me to attend his family gatherings and spend holidays with his family, even when we were barely speaking. He would be with me and also see other women. And once I found out about them, he would cut them off. Then be on his best behavior for a good month, then I would see the signs of him cheating again.
@@natlovesfashion27 i was expected to go to his family stuff. He never noticed that I didn't expect him at mine. I'm not going to force him. So I just one day realized, he's opting out. 20 years of making excuses for him and being embarrassed in front of my family. When he rarely came around, my family fell over themselves to make him feel welcome. He was always guest of honor . . .for just showing up
Yup, my narc and I started off dating then the 3 month mark she's telling me that she doesn't even want to date exclusively because she wants to hold onto her freedom a bit longer and keep her options open. She thought she wanted a relationship but she sees now that she doesn't and isn't ready. We are going to be best friends yet she wanted the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. Even though there were issues and in hindsight it was a blessing in disguise that we didn't get into a relationship I felt like a placeholder for that short time before things just fizzled out.
I wasted 7 years of my life I know him longer but 7 years I was committed to him but he was cheating the whole time I never wanna see him again I am done
Sometimes I’m confused what type of supply I was. She breaks up with “abusive” ex and doesn’t commit to anyone for a year. Meets me and then she starts dating me a month and a half in but acted like we rushed sometimes when she was devaluing. Caught her texting her ex and when I got angry and put up boundaries, she ghosted me after we had been together 7 months. Lo and behold, she was committed to an entirely new 3rd party in less than a month while being way over the top on social media while she never was with me. It’s like I’m a transition supply but I’m not. I was not hidden to the world.
Every single video is like.. where's the lie?? We need to hear this regularly. Like you read the bible to maintain and grow faith. Renew your faith in yourself, daily if necessary, to believe what you see and not trust what you hear and feel. Don't forget who they were when you were down. Thanks again Lee.
After 14 yrs..I realized I wasnt even the supply...my sons baseball career was..feom afe 9 to 20...when covid hit..and colleges closed..ans baseball stopped...he was out of here!!.Lol Im just greatful he was so so so addicted to sports..he was the decipline and baseball coach mt son "used" till he was an adult!!!.Joke was really on him...
@MentalHealness dude...Thank you...but I gotta say it..just for my satisfaction..personally...one day (because I fly free) one day..in that small little college town where "WE were suppose to move together..and his brother made just him an offer he couldn't refuse..and he's addicted to sports..he WILL turn around at a game and see me smiling and waving at him..be it a Penguin...Steeler..Pirate...or Penn State Football Whiteout game...I will be sitting right behind him...and believe me..not in my own power..it will be ALLLLLLLL GOD...lol
@MentalHealness how can I rightfully ...and honestly get him to take all my pictures and pictures of my kids throughout the years..since like 2011...OFF his fb pictures and videos without going there ...grabbing his phone and doing it myself?!
Sometimes backup supply turns into their child’s mother. I think this happens when the narc wants to trap that person to stay around- especially if this person has been on & off with the narc for years. I know from experience of being in a situationship with a narc. We were always in & off then he wanted a baby with me recently.
Good point. I now know why he desperately wanted me to get pregnant. I fell for it before I realized he was a demonic narcissist. A guaranteed way to stay hooked or attached to you.
Lee…please let me ask you something…🙏🙏 Is it narcissistic to say "loyalty is when you always agree with me"? My ex said this as if it were a universal truth and I wanted to know if it was narcissistic or just stupid, or both.🤔
Most therapists won't even see narcs because it's extremely frustrating to help someone who can't admit they've done anything wrong in the first place...
This sounds cray, but anyone who knows me knows since I’ve came across ur videos 2 years ago, it’s been on my bucket list before I die, to literally speak to u Lee lmao. I’m not even tryna be creepy rn but I so badly have been wanting to tell u my story w/ a Narc. He’s a diagnosed Malignant narc & ur videos the last few years have helped me tremendously. All I ever think about while watching ur videos is how much I feel like you’d be speechless at this story lol. It’s truly wild/interesting enough for a movie. Thank u for ur help thru ur videos Lee. I’d love to chat w/ u some day!!
Why do they want to possess the temporary supply, test the temporary supply, manipulate the supply when the supply wasn't taken serious by the narc in the first place?
"Never make someone your priority, when for them you are only an option."
Still true
I’m not proud of the manipulation that I’ve fallen for in the past. I’m glad I know better. It took a lot of growth and healing to love myself and be willing to cut ties with people that send mixed signals or just lied to string me along. There were inconsistencies. Sometimes, a person will do whatever they want if they know you like them or are attracted to them. I had to ask myself “Why are you dealing with this? You don’t have to!”. Now my peace of mind is the most important.
you got it now
Absolutely!
Same here 🙌💖
Love this.
@@blusunflower8jones438 thank you 🙏🏽
I think some narcissists need someone to idealize and devalue so they can re idealize their ex. Thats why they cycle between two people sometimes. They cant just reidealize their longterm partner after devaluing and discarding them, they have to devalue someone else in order to reidealize their ex.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Why do they want to possess the temporary supply, test the temporary supply, manipulate the supply when the supply wasn't taken serious by the narc in the first place?
This was the video I was WAITING for. I'm so happy that you did this topic. Because I think it's much hurtful that someone just stays for years with a narc and thinks they have a shot while they haven't. Especially in the healingjourney it causes a lot of shame to see others being married while you're in this dynamic. I hope you want to make more videos on this! Like why they choose placeholders, even when they didn't come out a relationship. Anyway this was a GREAT video, Lee!! Thank you!
Yup! My ex- Narc and I were on & off! It was ridiculous how much we were on & off. And during the times I would cut him (cause I was the one always taking us into an “off” period and break up when I would find out about him cheating), he would blow my phone up, send flowers, pop up at my house. He would do everything to get me back and earn another chance …. only to cheat again. It was just a vicious, toxic, emotional roller coaster. He always wanted me to attend his family gatherings and spend holidays with his family, even when we were barely speaking. He would be with me and also see other women. And once I found out about them, he would cut them off. Then be on his best behavior for a good month, then I would see the signs of him cheating again.
@@natlovesfashion27 i was expected to go to his family stuff. He never noticed that I didn't expect him at mine. I'm not going to force him. So I just one day realized, he's opting out. 20 years of making excuses for him and being embarrassed in front of my family. When he rarely came around, my family fell over themselves to make him feel welcome. He was always guest of honor . . .for just showing up
Yes let’s go with the vibe , then they find someone else they actually want to be with
I went through this exact situation with my old narc....smh. The EXACT same thing.
💯
😮💨😮💨 Lee I shed tears on this one. I was the transition supply, I questioned myself so long was I good enough why not me. Thank You Lee for healing
You should be saying. Thank God I dodged a bullet. How many more years of abuse you would of endured.
@@OasisPurity I’m very thankful I’ve dodged a major bullet it could’ve been worse. I God for healing and perseverance
Yup, my narc and I started off dating then the 3 month mark she's telling me that she doesn't even want to date exclusively because she wants to hold onto her freedom a bit longer and keep her options open. She thought she wanted a relationship but she sees now that she doesn't and isn't ready. We are going to be best friends yet she wanted the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. Even though there were issues and in hindsight it was a blessing in disguise that we didn't get into a relationship I felt like a placeholder for that short time before things just fizzled out.
I wasted 7 years of my life I know him longer but 7 years I was committed to him but he was cheating the whole time I never wanna see him again I am done
stay strong
@@MentalHealness thank you I will 🙏❤️ I know it will not be easy but u have too
Sometimes I’m confused what type of supply I was.
She breaks up with “abusive” ex and doesn’t commit to anyone for a year. Meets me and then she starts dating me a month and a half in but acted like we rushed sometimes when she was devaluing. Caught her texting her ex and when I got angry and put up boundaries, she ghosted me after we had been together 7 months.
Lo and behold, she was committed to an entirely new 3rd party in less than a month while being way over the top on social media while she never was with me.
It’s like I’m a transition supply but I’m not. I was not hidden to the world.
Every single video is like.. where's the lie?? We need to hear this regularly. Like you read the bible to maintain and grow faith. Renew your faith in yourself, daily if necessary, to believe what you see and not trust what you hear and feel. Don't forget who they were when you were down. Thanks again Lee.
After 14 yrs..I realized I wasnt even the supply...my sons baseball career was..feom afe 9 to 20...when covid hit..and colleges closed..ans baseball stopped...he was out of here!!.Lol Im just greatful he was so so so addicted to sports..he was the decipline and baseball coach mt son "used" till he was an adult!!!.Joke was really on him...
stay strong
@MentalHealness dude...Thank you...but I gotta say it..just for my satisfaction..personally...one day (because I fly free) one day..in that small little college town where "WE were suppose to move together..and his brother made just him an offer he couldn't refuse..and he's addicted to sports..he WILL turn around at a game and see me smiling and waving at him..be it a Penguin...Steeler..Pirate...or Penn State Football Whiteout game...I will be sitting right behind him...and believe me..not in my own power..it will be ALLLLLLLL GOD...lol
@MentalHealness how can I rightfully ...and honestly get him to take all my pictures and pictures of my kids throughout the years..since like 2011...OFF his fb pictures and videos without going there ...grabbing his phone and doing it myself?!
Side note and with complete respect: this blue color looks REALLY nice on you 🎉
He married his new supply 🤷🏼♀️
Just know she’ll be in hell unfortunately. They do that mess to get back at you.
Same here, they got married 3 months after we broke up. Once I started saying no to his needs it was a wrap.
Sometimes backup supply turns into their child’s mother. I think this happens when the narc wants to trap that person to stay around- especially if this person has been on & off with the narc for years.
I know from experience of being in a situationship with a narc. We were always in & off then he wanted a baby with me recently.
Good point. I now know why he desperately wanted me to get pregnant. I fell for it before I realized he was a demonic narcissist. A guaranteed way to stay hooked or attached to you.
Indeed 👏 👏 great video
Yes they do after being with my ex for 3 years I asked him don't you want to get married
He said no why put a title on it.
🙌🏾
Lee…please let me ask you something…🙏🙏
Is it narcissistic to say "loyalty is when you always agree with me"? My ex said this as if it were a universal truth and I wanted to know if it was narcissistic or just stupid, or both.🤔
Stupid, always.
Narcissistic, sometimes
🙌🏾
How do u start to get help for being a narcissist... I'm at a loss of where to begin...
therapy
Most therapists won't even see narcs because it's extremely frustrating to help someone who can't admit they've done anything wrong in the first place...
This sounds cray, but anyone who knows me knows since I’ve came across ur videos 2 years ago, it’s been on my bucket list before I die, to literally speak to u Lee lmao. I’m not even tryna be creepy rn but I so badly have been wanting to tell u my story w/ a Narc. He’s a diagnosed Malignant narc & ur videos the last few years have helped me tremendously. All I ever think about while watching ur videos is how much I feel like you’d be speechless at this story lol. It’s truly wild/interesting enough for a movie. Thank u for ur help thru ur videos Lee. I’d love to chat w/ u some day!!
Why do they want to possess the temporary supply, test the temporary supply, manipulate the supply when the supply wasn't taken serious by the narc in the first place?