Reading the title of this had me raising an eyebrow but good Lord 5 minutes into the story and I was dying. Do you know how painful it is laughing so hard but not making a sound because you don't want to wake your wife up? I guess it's a good thing I'm human...
No - Jacks were the biggest hazard. In fact, people stepping on jacks is why no one plays with them anymore. My father used to find my jacks with his bare feet all the time - which is why I had to keep buying them when they'd suddenly "disappear." He'd always leave the red ball, though.
@Raggmopp-xl7yf ugh... i hated stepping on those, too. I am still traumatized by the jacks. I still wonder why I still bought both legos and Jacks for my kid....
This is funny AF. I love the idea of viewing humans through the eyes of an insect or reptile alien. The things we take for granted, surviving in arctic temperatures that would freeze a reptile for instance. The coffee machine is the best 😂
The fact that coffee and spice both evolved to kill/deter things that are them and we evolved to not only like them, but make use of what they used to deter things. ( Caffeine I believe messes with insects by suppressing parts of their nervous system via overloading, and capsaicin (in spices) causes respiratory problems, temporary blindness and can cause their vocal cords to stop working for a short time)
Yeah, it's weird to think we have an almost 100°C range of temperatures we can live at, with a 50°C comfortable range( most humans can adapt to and thrive in temperatures ranges from -15°C to 35°C, and with adequate equipment, we can survive -55°C to 45°C. More than that and we have to start changing the ambient temperature)
"Humans, the species that told evolution No and got away with it" and "Humans, when evolution gives up and goes home" Has to be some of the funniest stuff ever written down. This is probably the best Humanity Frick Yea story yet and I hope this guy wrote more stuff.
14:32 “The most feared, dangerous species in the galaxy isn’t dangerous because of their weapons or technology. They’re dangerous because they simply refuse to accept their own limitations” In the immortal words of Master Roshi: TO HELL WITH MY LIMITATIONS!!!!
As a young adult I was Mail Clerk at a national emergency medical association. I read all the stories submitted for publication in the journal. I rate this video as Monday.
(shakes head) Classic D4s have rounded edges, unlike classic Legos. And all Legos are classic! The "problem" with both Legos and D4s is that they are both small and unyielding, and human feet try to wrap around them, to our vast discomfort/agony.
Joey "The Unstoppable" Martinez and his antics are my favorite parts of this story. I bet he's like "Hold my beer" before doing his next great feat again lololol
for a good chunk of us, our own immune system is the most dangerous thing. He should investigate bee stings, about how our overreaction to it can be more lethal than its own effect.
Fun fact: A large amount of immune system issues, at least the ones that aren't genetic or caused by certain diseases, are due to lack of activity. The human body is fine tuned to use between 1900 and 2400 calories per day, your body *WILL* use the minimum calories, regardless of the activity you do, with the immune system and the endocrine system having priority for the spare energy. This means, if you aren't active enough, your body just dumps extra resources into kicking your immune system and hormones into overdrive for no reason, and often in a detrimental manner.
There actually was a man that had a steel rod go through his forehead. Survived with some major personality changes. And than there are the people that died from a scratch.
Unironically the most realistic story on the channel. The human body is the most fragile indestructible biological machine ever evolved. I have read many news articles on people surviving things you wouldnt expect, like the marine who survived getting shot in the head and literally part of his brain shot off, or the guy who came into ER himself with a knife buried to the hilt in the top of his head, then theres youtube, scott from kentucky ballistics took shrapnel to his throat and had jugular severed, lung collapsed, and survived by literally putting his thumb in it, to ballistic high speed, who had an RPG7 explode in his face.
Fragile indestructible. Heh. One night, a few days of abdominal discomfort culminated in immobilizing pain, an ER visit, and rather quick emergency surgery for an upper bowel obstruction that turned out to be... a twist, and a little stickiness. So there's the fragile part. The indestructible part? A day and a half after having my torso zippered open and poked around in for an hour or so, the only thing keeping me from climbing out of bed and walking around was the sheer number of frickin' tubes and hoses attached, some in places things shouldn't be, but I digress. Technically I could have walked out the next day but was held one more for "proof of function" purposes. Nearly eviscerated to home, walking and driving around in 4-5 days. Oh, and no painkillers... didn't need them, only pain was during spasm (cough, laugh, etc). But, that was all because a little kink in the innards nearly laid me out for good... for no discernible reason. "Unknown cause", literally.
My father told me a story from his time in the military. There was some parachute practice happening there for… I assume Army Airborne, but that’s just speculation. Anyway, some soldier’s chute didn’t o-n, so he got to the ground faster than his team. Dude hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. After the bounce, he landed on his feet. Still alive and not visibly hurt. He says, “Hey. I survived!” and then fell over dead. Death was from his organs being smashed, and I guess he had no broken bones. So his mind and conscious muscles were fine, but there was no blood flow, no creating new hormones to regulate the body. Probably had enough oxygen in his brain to say those words.
Just wait till he finds out that there is two Humans which have decided to just Punch Vehicles, made from Metal and Glass, with their bare hands until their skin and bones grew so thick and hard that they would no longer even injure themselves doing it.
They forgot to mention that babies have superhuman strength in their finger tips. They could hold themselves up for falling off a cliff, nobody knows for how long, nobody has allowed the prolonged exposure required to have a time for it. For all we know it could be hours or even days.
So apparently (account to stories like this) humanity’s next evolutionary step is for all of us to be either as strong as Captain America, or as unkillable as Deadpool
It's when you combine the toddlers and Lego bricks, that is when the weakness comes through. Would have liked a paragraph in the story about a warning about warfare, or maybe it was just implied throughout.
@@russellstyles5381it has been done their like jacks but multi colored and because of that reason they put little balls on the end of the spikes and they call it pick up sticks
This reminded me of my childhood. Me and little bro were on 1st name basis with the staff at the emergency room. Mom complained she should have bought stock in ace bandages.
They don't have backup organs. They just convince the remaining ones to work harder. I was a Navy Corpsman attached to the Marines. A combat medic as most people know it. I've seen and read about enough that I can relate to stress molting. Marines do some really amazing and stupid things.
Wonder how they’d react to woman who was almost beheaded and had her guts out and survived. Horrifying case. She had keep her head up and put her intestines back into her body.
"...the resulting chaos involved two broken windows, one sentient coffee machine, it's still making death threats in Italian..." "PPS : The coffee machine has gained access to the hospital's wifi... send help." That coffee machine really needs to chill down a bit...
Real event a guy got cut in half by a train and just refused to faint(they'd probably died if they fainted) and they excluding the loss of their lower body they were perfectly fine
I know these HFY stories tend to be over the top, but since when are humans this tough? Bones don't necessarily grow back stronger, in fact, if not properly set, they can kill you before they get a chance to heal at all. Skin scars over every little thing. Most organs don't regenerate. Cells have a limited number of divisions available and after that they just collectively walk onto the porch and tell kids to get off their lawn. Still, funny story.
Just wait until they learn about the survival ability of cats, and that cats always manage to hitch a ride wherever humans travel, from where they unfailingly conquer and subdue any place that can be reached without swimming. They'll end up submerging every continent of their planets, and resigning themselves to living hip deep in water.
Aliens Were Confused Why Humans Call Their Engineers 'Wizards' - ua-cam.com/video/3A6oaAUIuYw/v-deo.html
Reading the title of this had me raising an eyebrow but good Lord 5 minutes into the story and I was dying. Do you know how painful it is laughing so hard but not making a sound because you don't want to wake your wife up? I guess it's a good thing I'm human...
As someone who works in medical, I can confirm the coffee machine, don’t get between medical staff and caffeine
Especially if you already need their help
Me, covered in my own blood and vomit
“Get me some coffee too”
Instead i got a candy bar and a bottle of water
Or the night shift
My favorite line: "apparently Humans weakness is Legos but they keep making them". 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
No - Jacks were the biggest hazard. In fact, people stepping on jacks is why no one plays with them anymore. My father used to find my jacks with his bare feet all the time - which is why I had to keep buying them when they'd suddenly "disappear." He'd always leave the red ball, though.
@Raggmopp-xl7yf ugh... i hated stepping on those, too. I am still traumatized by the jacks. I still wonder why I still bought both legos and Jacks for my kid....
@ When I look back at the toys I played with as a kid almost none of it's legal anymore. lol
“Why humans keep saying hold my beer before doing things that should definitely kill them?” Well now it all makes sense
This is funny AF. I love the idea of viewing humans through the eyes of an insect or reptile alien. The things we take for granted, surviving in arctic temperatures that would freeze a reptile for instance. The coffee machine is the best 😂
The fact that coffee and spice both evolved to kill/deter things that are them and we evolved to not only like them, but make use of what they used to deter things. ( Caffeine I believe messes with insects by suppressing parts of their nervous system via overloading, and capsaicin (in spices) causes respiratory problems, temporary blindness and can cause their vocal cords to stop working for a short time)
@@jayquanfears3383We turly are powered by poison 😂
@@Spearra In truth its probably closer to Chemical Overclocking
@@ManOfBarfknowing how I feel after eating a small amount of chocolate, I'd have to hard agree
fueled by the things that can mentally stimulate us
Yeah, it's weird to think we have an almost 100°C range of temperatures we can live at, with a 50°C comfortable range( most humans can adapt to and thrive in temperatures ranges from -15°C to 35°C, and with adequate equipment, we can survive -55°C to 45°C. More than that and we have to start changing the ambient temperature)
"Humans, the species that told evolution No and got away with it" and "Humans, when evolution gives up and goes home"
Has to be some of the funniest stuff ever written down. This is probably the best Humanity Frick Yea story yet and I hope this guy wrote more stuff.
14:32 “The most feared, dangerous species in the galaxy isn’t dangerous because of their weapons or technology. They’re dangerous because they simply refuse to accept their own limitations”
In the immortal words of Master Roshi: TO HELL WITH MY LIMITATIONS!!!!
As a young adult I was Mail Clerk at a national emergency medical association. I read all the stories submitted for publication in the journal. I rate this video as Monday.
Perfect, well damn perfect!
hold my beer…
that coffee machine in this episode needs its own episode all on its own.
It already achieved sentience and is writing its own story.
"Dark Roast Revelations: A Caffeinated Autobiography."
Those that think Lego Bricks are the worst, haven't stepped on a classic D4!
Indeed
I stepped on a fancy metal d4 that had sharp points, once.
@@kacbcd Ouch! Classic D4's should be banned, go with the eight sided D4! Still not pleasant, but not AS painful.
British electrical plug (three pronged).
(shakes head)
Classic D4s have rounded edges, unlike classic Legos. And all Legos are classic!
The "problem" with both Legos and D4s is that they are both small and unyielding, and human feet try to wrap around them, to our vast discomfort/agony.
Joey "The Unstoppable" Martinez and his antics are my favorite parts of this story. I bet he's like "Hold my beer" before doing his next great feat again lololol
He's trying to out do Evel Knievel
My new favorite phrase: "Physics happened."
"...it's like they don't know they're supposed to die"
😂 And we even take pride in that ability!
Or stupidity if you hail from anywhere else..
for a good chunk of us, our own immune system is the most dangerous thing. He should investigate bee stings, about how our overreaction to it can be more lethal than its own effect.
Or autoimmune diseases...
If our immune system found out our eyes exist we would go blind
The human immune system is amazing for how much we rely on it simultaneously knowing where loads of things are and having no clue something is there 😂
Fun fact: A large amount of immune system issues, at least the ones that aren't genetic or caused by certain diseases, are due to lack of activity. The human body is fine tuned to use between 1900 and 2400 calories per day, your body *WILL* use the minimum calories, regardless of the activity you do, with the immune system and the endocrine system having priority for the spare energy.
This means, if you aren't active enough, your body just dumps extra resources into kicking your immune system and hormones into overdrive for no reason, and often in a detrimental manner.
22:50
😂 **WHY**
In big frightened letters...
That broke me. ❤😂
I don't know why, but I absolutely lost it at "physics occurs"
I love the hold my beer phenomenon
There actually was a man that had a steel rod go through his forehead. Survived with some major personality changes. And than there are the people that died from a scratch.
eat your greens!
@@arthurborlet😂
Our Solyent Greens? 🤪 🤢 👽
@@OublietteTight it has ALL the electrolites
@@arthurborlet hahaha
@@OublietteTight well, and you are what you eat, i don't wanna be a plant, or a cow.
kitty, kitty!!! come here!!!!!!!!
Tuesday! There it is! Tuesday is evil and anything bad or awful is on Tuesday.
Wrong. Wednesdays the worst day of the week. Everything bad happens on Wednesdays
At least we have Taco Tuesday? Haha
I just luv the sass, wit and humor in these videos. The “IDGAF” attitude just sells it ☺️🫶🙋♀️
The best kind of story.
My sides hurts so much!!!! I freaking love this. Please make more of this comedic based stories about humans.
The thing is, most of it is true. We are just accustomed to it…..
Unironically the most realistic story on the channel. The human body is the most fragile indestructible biological machine ever evolved. I have read many news articles on people surviving things you wouldnt expect, like the marine who survived getting shot in the head and literally part of his brain shot off, or the guy who came into ER himself with a knife buried to the hilt in the top of his head, then theres youtube, scott from kentucky ballistics took shrapnel to his throat and had jugular severed, lung collapsed, and survived by literally putting his thumb in it, to ballistic high speed, who had an RPG7 explode in his face.
Indeed. Scott still has some wicked scars from that. But hey, just put a thumb in it. You'll be fine. 😂
Fragile indestructible. Heh.
One night, a few days of abdominal discomfort culminated in immobilizing pain, an ER visit, and rather quick emergency surgery for an upper bowel obstruction that turned out to be... a twist, and a little stickiness. So there's the fragile part.
The indestructible part? A day and a half after having my torso zippered open and poked around in for an hour or so, the only thing keeping me from climbing out of bed and walking around was the sheer number of frickin' tubes and hoses attached, some in places things shouldn't be, but I digress. Technically I could have walked out the next day but was held one more for "proof of function" purposes. Nearly eviscerated to home, walking and driving around in 4-5 days. Oh, and no painkillers... didn't need them, only pain was during spasm (cough, laugh, etc).
But, that was all because a little kink in the innards nearly laid me out for good... for no discernible reason. "Unknown cause", literally.
My father told me a story from his time in the military. There was some parachute practice happening there for… I assume Army Airborne, but that’s just speculation. Anyway, some soldier’s chute didn’t o-n, so he got to the ground faster than his team. Dude hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. After the bounce, he landed on his feet. Still alive and not visibly hurt. He says, “Hey. I survived!” and then fell over dead. Death was from his organs being smashed, and I guess he had no broken bones. So his mind and conscious muscles were fine, but there was no blood flow, no creating new hormones to regulate the body. Probably had enough oxygen in his brain to say those words.
"Whos gonna tell him?" -A horrified medic, to the rest of the squad
Just wait till he finds out that there is two Humans which have decided to just Punch Vehicles, made from Metal and Glass, with their bare hands until their skin and bones grew so thick and hard that they would no longer even injure themselves doing it.
3:52 The half-molten zombie doctor standing on the right side is hilarious.
Haha almost missed that. Thank you. The art in these tales is great.
The nonchalant "we'll chase you until your lungs/heart/legs give
They forgot to mention that babies have superhuman strength in their finger tips. They could hold themselves up for falling off a cliff, nobody knows for how long, nobody has allowed the prolonged exposure required to have a time for it. For all we know it could be hours or even days.
hillarious! oh, and I'll adopt "physics happened!"
So apparently (account to stories like this) humanity’s next evolutionary step is for all of us to be either as strong as Captain America, or as unkillable as Deadpool
Either way we're halfway there
Humans the cockroaches of the universe. They just won't die.
Worse, we aren't just cockroaches, we're PERSISTENCE hunters and endurance hunters. Carbon-based terminators.
I think it's pretty funny. True stuff from a different perspective.
It's when you combine the toddlers and Lego bricks, that is when the weakness comes through.
Would have liked a paragraph in the story about a warning about warfare, or maybe it was just implied throughout.
This is the best one I’ve watched yet, I couldn’t stop laughing! 😂
The dude who couldn't connect to Wifi is a mode😂😂
Author has missed the full moon phenomenon. The WILDEST esquad cases always seem to happen during a full moon...
Especially if it's also a Tuesday... Like the fuck is this shit
That one is actually pretty Good ^^
To the author, are the paper clips a nod to the WWII operation? And hey, I've been struck by lighting twice, it's not that bad. Sometimes.
"...humans dont even have 'backup organs', they just convince the remaining ones to work harder..." 😂😂😂🌎🤳
Somebody forgot about or has never experienced jacks. Those will make Legos feel like feathers
They are basically caltrops. Someone should make a set of jacks with 4 points just to say it has been done.
@@russellstyles5381it has been done their like jacks but multi colored and because of that reason they put little balls on the end of the spikes and they call it pick up sticks
fantastic story! Author KNOWS his/her craft!
Just think. They don’t know about the lego brick “fire walk”
The difference between those with hollow bones and humans… poor birds and lizard folks…
'But tis a scratch' 😂
Meanwhile, I entered my mid thirty's and damaged both my left arm and my lower back from simply sneezing wrong.
The creative wit is great. 😂
And then they introduce Jackie Chan
Nah Chuck Norris
These tales are incredible. A hidden treasure. You should have millions of followers! 😂 🤪
He didn't read Alice in Wonderland.
He probably did... he just didn't realize it was a how-to manual.
The coffee machine is trying to kill itself again….
Oh yeah step on an actual metal jack from the game that came with the metal jacks and the bouncy rubber ball.
I love this to much❤😂🎉😅
Can confirm about coffee addiction is Canon to irl
Very true in many ways .... damn funny story
I drive a lot to visit my daughter. Sadly we are far apart but these videos give me some fun while driving to her.
It seem some considering everything is connected when nothing really tell it is the case
Why are aliens shown as been seen as naked.?
This reminded me of my childhood. Me and little bro were on 1st name basis with the staff at the emergency room. Mom complained she should have bought stock in ace bandages.
This is definitely up there with hitchhiker guide.
And yet, some people have died by just a scratch.
I love these !
the story is pretty funny. The AI images- some of them are downright terrifying
Loved this!😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fricken Greg.
They don't have backup organs. They just convince the remaining ones to work harder.
I was a Navy Corpsman attached to the Marines. A combat medic as most people know it. I've seen and read about enough that I can relate to stress molting. Marines do some really amazing and stupid things.
Definitely a kung-fu panda refrence with the fireworks and lawn chair there xD
Good one!
That is really funny 😆
Dammit greg!!
Wonder how they’d react to woman who was almost beheaded and had her guts out and survived. Horrifying case. She had keep her head up and put her intestines back into her body.
This is so damn funny.😂
"...the resulting chaos involved two broken windows, one sentient coffee machine, it's still making death threats in Italian..."
"PPS : The coffee machine has gained access to the hospital's wifi... send help."
That coffee machine really needs to chill down a bit...
Meanwhile, here I am, building a LEGO skyscraper set while I listen to this story. :)
Thanks for the compliment 4:30
13:44 yep, endurance hunting, because we can sweat to cool our selves, rather than only panting.
i would be mad about losing food due to a freak microwave explosion too
Well if your gonna be anyone in life... Be a Joey 😂😂
HILARIOUS
3 extra nervous systems seems a tad extra
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 18:00 pra frente kk hold my beer
14:35
“CLENCH YOUR BUTT CHEEKS AND SCREAM TEXAS SMASH! GO OVER YOUR LIMITATIONS!”
Real event a guy got cut in half by a train and just refused to faint(they'd probably died if they fainted) and they excluding the loss of their lower body they were perfectly fine
18:33 they got pretty weak armor plating then
Metal jacks!!!!
Farmer's are just built different like they are better than the normal people
COFFEE!!!!!
11:58 farmers are just kinda like that
You know... the weirdest part of this is it's not wrong 17:44
Im laughing so hard rn😂
I know these HFY stories tend to be over the top, but since when are humans this tough? Bones don't necessarily grow back stronger, in fact, if not properly set, they can kill you before they get a chance to heal at all. Skin scars over every little thing. Most organs don't regenerate. Cells have a limited number of divisions available and after that they just collectively walk onto the porch and tell kids to get off their lawn. Still, funny story.
The impressive part is that being from Boston, Joey Martinez does not have free universal healthcare
Just wait until they learn about the survival ability of cats, and that cats always manage to hitch a ride wherever humans travel, from where they unfailingly conquer and subdue any place that can be reached without swimming. They'll end up submerging every continent of their planets, and resigning themselves to living hip deep in water.
Strongest dominance ritual called ‘recess’ 😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😅😂
honestly, he should be glad he hasn't seen boxing
Wow. Next thing you know a human will be deatomized and somehow reform on a subatomic scale but better. Typical AI
what did they do to the coffe machiene
Boston assignment? Do we have a report from the alien assigned to Florida?
17:09
Uh guys....We broke the aliens...Again
lego's 🤣🤣🤣
Wait until they learn of the toxic lady