As women sometimes we neglect ourselves trying to ensure those around us are loved. then we blame those for not returning the same love back to us. What I have realised about myself from this powerful video was that I was the one not returning the love back to myself, I was my first neglector.
Yes ,very true. We expect from people what we actually need from ourselves.That what makes us a needy persons 😕I’ll have a pen and a paper and start to write down 😋👍🏻
I wish you lots and lots of love! I hope you see miracles happen to you and may you receive opportunities that helps you become the best, I mean the best version of yourself! ♥️♥️😄 Wishing you a very very very good day Organic Locs
Amalia A Its makes you feel miserable when you neglect yourself for others who don't know how to treat you right. It's very important to know yourself worth .
I understand what she's saying. She's talking about the relationships we have with ourselves. And learning who "we" are. The relationships we involve ourselves in Is a reflection of the relationship we're having with ourselves. But she also mentions how people are trained to treat you based on how you treat yourself. Listen to the video at 11:42. Have a peaceful day!
F. L. Taylor I heard her saying that we all have a dark side that we don't want others to see- and when we see characteristics of this dark side in others, we deal with them in judgmental and spiteful manner. This is light being shed on our dark side. Then she gave her solution to how to accept this in others by embracing ourselves without judgement and not being critical. I think that's the part at 11:42 where she put it all in one phrase, but without listening to the whole video, that phrase can be taken many different ways. I was wrong for denying your experience and what you heard. I still have to work on me more.
I was connecting with men who show up, start off so well, and then become inconsistent. My aha was that I never show up for myself 100% consistently. For my kids, yes, my job, friends, clients yes. But I rarely finish up little things I state just for me....Eshe kpupo, Iya mi.
Ai Sam OMG yes! After I watching the video and reading your comment that’s my truth too. I’ve been trying to figure out why guys always seem wonderful from the start and then transform into the opposite of what you want. And now your needs aren’t being met. I got a lot to talk about with myself tonight 😩
Me too.... womp womp.... they can sometimes be wimp wimpers.... instead of women whisperers..... well, I mean.... AND FOLLOW THROUGH, WITH CONSISTENT NATURE rather than the "show her off" or not NATURE, baby backlash over Kanye West n I.... take a cold shower, apologize to ur mom's n send a great day message or flowers, to your wives n not just ur girlfriends.... I have experienced some trauma, HAhaha..... NOT SORRY LONG WINDED N WINDING UP to concur with my future Clients!!! God bless you
Shining the light on our shadow...Whew! Every Relationship that you've had in your life is a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself! Preach Iyanla!
Thank you Iyanla x I grew up with absent parents, moving from foster home to sleeping on friends sofas. I am now a university graduate with a career I love ... but still, I have a lot of anchors that need freeing and many bridges that need crossing (not burning)..... I thought I knew myself, until I saw your videos and was able to pick up on key points which I could relate to that can take me away from the false image that I carry around of myself in my mind.... I am ready to start this journey at 25..... You have freed me a little of the self doubt and self hatred I have.... rather to accept it and explore it ..... I owe you my gratitude x
Miss Khan Awwwwww all things are possible with God. Know your self worth don't try to please people to be accepted and in the end you might end up neglecting yourself. Keep good dear
I am a foster parent my daughter, she came into my life at 9. She was severely abused in every way possible in her younger life. When I expressed a desire to adopt her she refused saying that she wanted a family with a mom and a dad. At the time I was unmarried so I did not proceed. She was later adopted by a white family (that detail is important later). She went off to her new life to live happily ever after. Well it was just more of the same she was sexually abused by the "father" emotionally, & verbally abused by the "mother" and took on the role of and indentured servent. Finally at 13 she reported what was going on and the police called me. I asked if she could come back to my home. She lived here until she graduated from high school. There were then and now MANY problems I took her to thereopy but once grown she wouldn't go. Now she is 26 and a mess. My question to you is how do you handle the aftermath of foster care, and all that comes with it? How can I help her?
Just seeing this comment 5 years later. I hope you found yourself, found your worth, and if you didn't shed that weight, I hope you found a way to accept and love yourself the way you are! All my love to you!
Powerful! What's amazing is that many people don't realize these points until much later in life, after experiencing hurt after hurt. I'm so glad I have and am learning this earlier on in life.
Iyanla’s explanation of how people mirror us is the best that I have ever heard. I think it might have sunk in this time! Thank you Iyanla for sharing your wisdom, and the comments are very helpful, too.
All this time I've been robing myself from getting to know me but giving all I thought was me to others. It's so unfortunate because now I am in the biggest hurricane of my life. I'm ready to meet me... ☺
You are my fairy godmother and helping me through a tough time of finding myself again after years of moulding myself to other people. In reality as you’ve said people are a reflection of you and how you see yourself. I need to remind me that I am the prize and I am worth of prosperity and happiness. Thank you so much for yiur beautiful insights.
THIS!!!! Spoke to me on so many levels. Almost everything she addressed, I was having issues with from my lack of belief in myself to berating myself for not being further in life financially, emotionally, mentally than I am. I am so OK with it now for I know that things are moving as I have been on this personal growth journey. Baby steps girlfriend. I'm still making moves. Thanks so much Iyanla!!!
She means that our fellow human beings reflect our flaws, imperfections or adversity and it annoys us. Yes, I've known that for long. All the same, thank you so much for being such a helper. You are building me up a lot.
You have answered a life long question. People for years have said love yourself without definition or explanation or instruction. I m an empty nester in a resting phase with a lot of time on my hands. I know I need to work on myself but I didn't know how until now. I have my homework. I will do my work. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH.
I'm on a full journey to finding the relationship I'm having with myself...I'm learning to love me more each second...minute...hour...etc...I needed to hear this...Namaste...Blessings...
Iya, I wish you were my godmother, I know I would truly heal the wounds I still fight. I constantly do self reflection and I'm hard on myself. "Do I love myself?" I try everyday and it's a struggle.
This is starting to make sense. I’m severely socially anxious and socially awkward, I think I have undiagnosed autism. I was just feeling a bit down that my boss at work didn’t wave back at me outside of the workplace although my other coworker did. Although I’m not close to my boss, I realised that I was hurt because I’m not the typical man who fits in with most men and I have felt shame about that. So I like some approval from other men I guess. I attract a weird look from another colleague. This made me uncomfortable until recently. It made me uncomfortable because I see being weird as wrong but it isn’t. If I’m offended by someone it’s because I’m not happy with where I am as well. Imagine if you are happy enough with yourself, it becomes really hard for others to change how you feel. It’s like with music I’m confident enough with my taste that I don’t mind too much if someone didn’t like it or had criticisms.
Always can count on you to keep me grounded. Only person I've ever idolized. You've helped me through some pretty rough times! Your wisdom is greatly appreciated!
Thats awesome Iyanla. Perhaps the best way to bring the right person into my life is to really know myself and love myself (not judge). Thank you Iyanla. xx
I often tell myself if I didn't had my son at an early age, I would've had my degree and I would've been in the career that I've set out to be in. This message opened my eyes. Thank you, these are more than words of inspiration it's like a blessing to hear them.
My mom used to ALWAYS say people treat you the way you allow them! I could NEVER understand that when I was in my twenties. Well...fast forward to my late 40s!!! BOY Do I understand that now!!! Self love helps you to see yourself the way God Almighty sees you! When you see yourself through HIS eyes...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! And will not accept anything less than. ❤️
I can get enough of her wisdom she truly makes me reflect about my relationship that i have for my self wish is pretty bad but i will work on that to make it better
Working on myself is very difficult. Im allowing myself to feel feelings that i shut off for years. Out of sight out of mind.. not true, somehow it surfaces one way or another. Im committed to looking head on at all the painful things that surface. Lord give me strength. Thanks Ms Iyanla im late to this but im so worth it
oh lord ! am gettin' chillzzzz, thank u for sharing this Dear Iyanla, i am honoured to confess that i am having a good and beautiful relatinship with me , it s been a long road, but i feel the connection...
Low self esteem....yes Shame of my appearance....yes Don't know who i am...yes Attract low men.....yes Yet i love who i am deep down but my main downfall is outer validation. Thank you iyanla for this empowering words of wisdom.
God bless you! This was one of the first episodes that i watched since subscribing to your channel. I'm so glad I did because I so needed to hear this message today. You were definitely speaking to me today, and i took everything in. I felt it in my heart, mind, and soul. You are so blessed, we need beautiful strong black women like you around to help encourage us when we're down. I thank you so much, and you now have a faithful listener.
Thank you Ayanla! There are parts of myself that I struggle w/ accepting, I even pretend they don't exist. But then I get frustrated when I meet people who express those sides of me that I refuse to express, b/c deep down, a part of me is jealous. A part of me would also like to do those things, but I don't b/c I try to be more responsible. I now know that their role in my life was simply to get me to love all of myself. Thank you!!!
Ms. Iyanla Vanzant- I have loved you since "Yesterday, I cried" which I read before I was a teenager and have referred to many times in my life. I am so happy that you have come into your greatness and that you have this opportunity to spread your blessings onto so many people. I consider myself a relatively evolved person by the grace of God and his grace only, however I so needed this...I so needed you and your messages. I so needed to hear God's voice through you. I am so thankful for you and God bless.
Wow... I guess this is what Paul felt like once he wasn't Saul anymore. Thank you. I had a serious epiphany at 7:22 - 7:52. I really appreciate this at age 19. You got yourself a new subscriber. God bless. Thank you so much.
Light bulb moment for me. When I always put others first ofcourse they will always put me second! That is what I have taught them (people pleasing). Up until this moment I was seeking external acceptance because I didn't realise I needed to accept myself for who I am instead I did what most of us do, I searched for it outside of me. No wonder I never got it :) it's not for anyone else to give me. Thank you for these lovely chats Iyanla 🥰 love and light 🌹
Dear Iyanla mama,everything u say in this video is soooo true. “How I treat myself trains ppl about how they treat me. “ This made me cry! A lot of Thanks to u.
Much needed advice --- never realized how much I've been neglecting myself by indulging in others who inevitably weren't really worth my time---no more....
I have heard the saying that "I attract who I am" or they might say "who is attracted to you has something to do with the energy your putting out". I still dont understand that. Its not making sense to me. For example: why dont I attract more men who are indepedent or are exposed to a higher level of education as I? why do the men who wants mommies approach me. I mean the types that see me as the answer to all their issues. where are the men who want a team mate in life. The ones who know their role and are looking for a woman who knows her role. jeez...anybody gets me?
'You attract what you are' is too simply said for what it really means. You are attracting what you are in the sense that you said you are independent and highly educated. So you attracting men that will feed off your independence and your education gives you something over them. So in essence what's in them is attracted to what's in you. Consider this, are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you willing to share your life with someone? Are your emotionally cold? Do you see your education as putting you in a higher level then others? Do you feel it puts you in an authority position. People will always be attracted to something in you that matches something in you. They can be similar or opposites. Look at it as their dependable part could match a dependable part in you, or the part in you that is not willing to be vulnerable attracts there dependable part. Either way it tells you what your energy is giving.
C. Sergeant I don't know if you have tried already, but joining a professional business club, or basically places or events that have people with your interests. You may even have to pay to attend a leadership conference, or a professional seminar. Just broaden your social circle.
One way I've heard this put is that you attract in others what you EXPECT others to be. You obviously expect men to want a mama, etc (from what you wrote). Your belief system is now that that's all you ever attract. You might try working on believing that you CAN and DO attract the kind of men you want. Once you change your belief (subconsciously) that you attract the guys you like/want, they will have to appear. By the way, the concept of 'attracting who I am" confused me for a long time until I heard this way of looking at it. Basically it all comes down to belief. Hope this helps! :)
Every word of what you said is gold. Throughout the videos, I took my journal and pen and write down and do some homework- ended up with 4 pages of writing. Thank you so much Iyanla!
Iyanla I love you so much! I just began the journey of self love and watching your videos has brought me to tears more than once. Your knowledge is invaluable and has helped wake me up out of a deep depression. You've done for me what therapists failed to do. I thank God for bringing you into my life!
I needed to hear this today!! I’m going through a tough time at the moment, and I’m lashing out at people who might need it, but as you say, I know that I see things in them that bring out the worst in me!! Thanks for having a talk with me, and letting me see that I’m trying to understand how I can go forward in life, and be at peace with myself & my life. I know it’s part of my life lessons and I’ll be back to listen to more of your wise words! 💕😊
Wow.... so deep and real. I did things in my past I am not proud of and for a long while I allowed those things to identify who I was. It took understanding how God sees me and how He loves me regardless of my ugliness to be able to learn to love myself too. I’m still not proud of those things but when my mind goes there I reroute it to all the things I’ve learned from those times and how they are helping me be a better me today. And the interesting thing is I can and have helped people learn to love themselves and others too. Jesus gave himself for me so that I don’t have to live in a place of self loathing, He forgave me so how can I not forgive myself, and how can I not forgive others as well? God bless you! Oh and I love the T-shirt’s you wear. 💃🏻
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IYANLA, and I thank you so much for this video, with Tears in my eyes after watching this powerful message, beyond a doubt in my mind, God has chosen you as the perfect instrument to relay such great words of Wisdom to the world. I'm so grateful to listen to you every day here on UA-cam, as This is truly my season of growth. I know that I have displayed behavior of 'I really don't know myself,' and I have accepted a lot of BS for the past 20 years, because I was never taught certain things. Over the past year, some of my male friends in my life have been quite Accurate in showing me Who I am... and it Hurts, and I cry.... but I'm okay and I'm open to it, because I know I must change my perspective and outlook of life “This is right on Time for me" and I must do my work (Tonight) Thank you again
Ms. Iyanla I'm so thankful for what I would call your ministry to everyone. It is so real the issues we have that we didn't know we were carrying them. And if we did what to do about it. I have learned so much from you. I started to write about me today. And this is the first time I've heard this particular message.
I truly love this lesson. thank you Iyanna for being a Angle on Earth, showing us Gods true love. without you and many others we would not know how to find our true selves. I'm going to cry now, thank you.... go in peace not in peace's :)
Where would I be without Iyanla Vanzant? In a ditch with no hope for living the life I deserve. Thank you so much for all you do! I hope to free black people the way you do everyday someday🖤
Natalya Kuzminova I think sometimes we are so loyal and faithful to others that we put others before ourselves . Be loyal and faithful to yourself first .
Are you loyal to your own principles and pursuit of happiness though? Do you show up for yourself? Do you love you, do you honor you, do you trust you? - repeating notes I took from the video. More power to you 🔥❤️
Thank you so very much. Everything you expressed is proven to be true in my own life. I practice Who Am I every day of my life. Blessings to you in ABUNDANCE! May you continue to inspire true healing for the soul.
How correct! The thing ...emotion...in your life..your heart shows up when you meet others. We can't go looking for love,.... from who??? Others enable us to express who we are. Don go looking for love!!!Go out to dish it out...
Omg I just love how you get to the core of oneself(myself). Thank you God for showing me when I didn't want to look and work on.Iyanla let he continue to use you. Love you!
She's amazing, her videos have helped me in my life so much. I'm thankful to her for taking he time to share these things with all of us. God bless her
oh how I needed this, Thank you Iyana! I have been going through so much with especially family members, so I believe God brought this to me. I need to reflect on who I am.
Thank you Iyanla, this is exactly where I need to be, I don't know who I am and it's scares me. Thank you for the tools in this lesson to find that out, peace and love.
Powerful WHO AM I? So powerful need to put myself first always we are thought that is selfish but you cannot give from an empty cup. Self care self love self acceptance
You are beautiful, calming and to the point. I love your YT channel very much. I have allowed you to be my positive mentor in my life. To teach me how to love me first. I value being a mother, it is important to me, I have baggage of past hurts and I have found comfort in your guidance. To love me first in a healthy mind body and soul system, you have been helping me find ME again. Thank you so much Iyanla 💖💖💖 Love light, and god bless you and all watching from New Zealand.
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement...I'm just beginning my journey to find my authentic self and you have inspired me to see it through.
Who am I?
What matters to me?
What do I value?
See yourself without judgment.
Know yourself.
Accept yourself.
Appreciate yourself.
Honor yourself.
And show yourself
Amen, Queen!!! Love ya Ladies in our
YES!!!
As women sometimes we neglect ourselves trying to ensure those around us are loved. then we blame those for not returning the same love back to us. What I have realised about myself from this powerful video was that I was the one not returning the love back to myself, I was my first neglector.
YES! it is sad and it REALLY hurts ... learning this is my hardest lesson!
Hard to admit thank you for expressing that
Organic Locs very powerful observation 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💕
Yes ,very true.
We expect from people what we actually need from ourselves.That what makes us a needy persons 😕I’ll have a pen and a paper and start to write down 😋👍🏻
I wish you lots and lots of love! I hope you see miracles happen to you and may you receive opportunities that helps you become the best, I mean the best version of yourself! ♥️♥️😄 Wishing you a very very very good day Organic Locs
Until we realize the power our thoughts and beliefs hold, we remain victims of our circumstances.
Excellent. I been neglecting myself to make other people happy for years now.
Amalia A me too and that has to stop.
Amalia A I think a lot of people have that same issue. You are not alone but just realize your life is your own.
Genesia Bush yes hun
Ms Hill your right, thank you.
Amalia A Its makes you feel miserable when you neglect yourself for others who don't know how to treat you right. It's very important to know yourself worth .
This right here-------------> How you treat yourself trains others how their going to treat you.
F. L. Taylor that's not at all what she said.
I understand what she's saying. She's talking about the relationships we have with ourselves. And learning who "we" are. The relationships we involve ourselves in Is a reflection of the relationship we're having with ourselves. But she also mentions how people are trained to treat you based on how you treat yourself. Listen to the video at 11:42. Have a peaceful day!
F. L. Taylor I heard her saying that we all have a dark side that we don't want others to see- and when we see characteristics of this dark side in others, we deal with them in judgmental and spiteful manner. This is light being shed on our dark side.
Then she gave her solution to how to accept this in others by embracing ourselves without judgement and not being critical. I think that's the part at 11:42 where she put it all in one phrase, but without listening to the whole video, that phrase can be taken many different ways.
I was wrong for denying your experience and what you heard. I still have to work on me more.
@@Shawnmyrelle powerful!!!
My favorite part as well. I need to be better to myself.
I was connecting with men who show up, start off so well, and then become inconsistent. My aha was that I never show up for myself 100% consistently. For my kids, yes, my job, friends, clients yes. But I rarely finish up little things I state just for me....Eshe kpupo, Iya mi.
Ai Sam OMG yes! After I watching the video and reading your comment that’s my truth too. I’ve been trying to figure out why guys always seem wonderful from the start and then transform into the opposite of what you want. And now your needs aren’t being met. I got a lot to talk about with myself tonight 😩
Me too.... womp womp.... they can sometimes be wimp wimpers.... instead of women whisperers..... well, I mean.... AND FOLLOW THROUGH, WITH CONSISTENT NATURE rather than the "show her off" or not NATURE, baby backlash over Kanye West n I.... take a cold shower, apologize to ur mom's n send a great day message or flowers, to your wives n not just ur girlfriends.... I have experienced some trauma, HAhaha..... NOT SORRY LONG WINDED N WINDING UP to concur with my future Clients!!! God bless you
Shining the light on our shadow...Whew! Every Relationship that you've had in your life is a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself! Preach Iyanla!
Thank you Iyanla x I grew up with absent parents, moving from foster home to sleeping on friends sofas. I am now a university graduate with a career I love ... but still, I have a lot of anchors that need freeing and many bridges that need crossing (not burning)..... I thought I knew myself, until I saw your videos and was able to pick up on key points which I could relate to that can take me away from the false image that I carry around of myself in my mind.... I am ready to start this journey at 25..... You have freed me a little of the self doubt and self hatred I have.... rather to accept it and explore it ..... I owe you my gratitude x
Miss Khan Awwwwww all things are possible with God. Know your self worth don't try to please people to be accepted and in the end you might end up neglecting yourself. Keep good dear
Miss Khan
I'm so proud of you!
💙💙THANK YOU FOR YOUR STRENGTH AND LIGHT💙💙💙
I am a foster parent my daughter, she came into my life at 9. She was severely abused in every way possible in her younger life. When I expressed a desire to adopt her she refused saying that she wanted a family with a mom and a dad. At the time I was unmarried so I did not proceed. She was later adopted by a white family (that detail is important later). She went off to her new life to live happily ever after. Well it was just more of the same she was sexually abused by the "father" emotionally, & verbally abused by the "mother" and took on the role of and indentured servent. Finally at 13 she reported what was going on and the police called me. I asked if she could come back to my home. She lived here until she graduated from high school. There were then and now MANY problems I took her to thereopy but once grown she wouldn't go. Now she is 26 and a mess. My question to you is how do you handle the aftermath of foster care, and all that comes with it? How can I help her?
BEAUTIFUL lady. I wish you all the best🙏🏾💞
I had to listen to this 3 times so that I can understand what she was really saying. I have some work to do! Thank you
Ms. Iyanla!
This was so deep. I'm on a journey of shedding weight and finding who I am in the process. I will definitely be doing this. Thanks so much for sharing
Brittany Barnett Great Job on both accomplishments. Your journey sounds like mines.
I am glad you call it a journey of shedding weight. So am I, one day at a time, on a journey to shed weight.
Dear Soul Sisters Tv good luck love ❤️
Just seeing this comment 5 years later. I hope you found yourself, found your worth, and if you didn't shed that weight, I hope you found a way to accept and love yourself the way you are! All my love to you!
Powerful! What's amazing is that many people don't realize these points until much later in life, after experiencing hurt after hurt. I'm so glad I have and am learning this earlier on in life.
Thank you I have my pen and paper to do this. I am the hardest person to myself. I am trying to learn to love me first. it begins today.
How did this go
Iyanla’s explanation of how people mirror us is the best that I have ever heard. I think it might have sunk in this time! Thank you Iyanla for sharing your wisdom, and the comments are very helpful, too.
All this time I've been robing myself from getting to know me but giving all I thought was me to others. It's so unfortunate because now I am in the biggest hurricane of my life. I'm ready to meet me... ☺
English Carmouche ❤️❤️❤️
1
You are my fairy godmother and helping me through a tough time of finding myself again after years of moulding myself to other people. In reality as you’ve said people are a reflection of you and how you see yourself. I need to remind me that I am the prize and I am worth of prosperity and happiness. Thank you so much for yiur beautiful insights.
THIS!!!! Spoke to me on so many levels. Almost everything she addressed, I was having issues with from my lack of belief in myself to berating myself for not being further in life financially, emotionally, mentally than I am. I am so OK with it now for I know that things are moving as I have been on this personal growth journey. Baby steps girlfriend. I'm still making moves. Thanks so much Iyanla!!!
I felt like she was talking to me personally. Such a great communicator and wholesome spirit!
She means that our fellow human beings reflect our flaws, imperfections or adversity and it annoys us. Yes, I've known that for long. All the same, thank you so much for being such a helper. You are building me up a lot.
You have answered a life long question. People for years have said love yourself without definition or explanation or instruction. I m an empty nester in a resting phase with a lot of time on my hands. I know I need to work on myself but I didn't know how until now. I have my homework. I will do my work. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH.
I'm on a full journey to finding the relationship I'm having with myself...I'm learning to love me more each second...minute...hour...etc...I needed to hear this...Namaste...Blessings...
It’s been 3 years. Any update?
Wow...the way you speak...is so comforting and brings healing. What a gift you have
Iya, I wish you were my godmother, I know I would truly heal the wounds I still fight. I constantly do self reflection and I'm hard on myself. "Do I love myself?" I try everyday and it's a struggle.
This is starting to make sense. I’m severely socially anxious and socially awkward, I think I have undiagnosed autism.
I was just feeling a bit down that my boss at work didn’t wave back at me outside of the workplace although my other coworker did. Although I’m not close to my boss, I realised that I was hurt because I’m not the typical man who fits in with most men and I have felt shame about that. So I like some approval from other men I guess.
I attract a weird look from another colleague. This made me uncomfortable until recently. It made me uncomfortable because I see being weird as wrong but it isn’t.
If I’m offended by someone it’s because I’m not happy with where I am as well.
Imagine if you are happy enough with yourself, it becomes really hard for others to change how you feel. It’s like with music I’m confident enough with my taste that I don’t mind too much if someone didn’t like it or had criticisms.
this is on time!!!! I hope you are working on a book about the SELF!!!
the words you speak is a direct reflection of who you are!
I took the time to listen WHO AM I? WHAT A THOUGHT INVOKING QUESTION. ON THE JOURNEY TO FINDING OUT WHO I AM.
Always can count on you to keep me grounded. Only person I've ever idolized. You've helped me through some pretty rough times! Your wisdom is greatly appreciated!
Thats awesome Iyanla. Perhaps the best way to bring the right person into my life is to really know myself and love myself (not judge). Thank you Iyanla. xx
I love your delivery Iyanla! It's so loving, nurturing and healing. I love you! Your messages are always right on time!
11:41 eye opening, needed these series so much. Thank YOU!
Yes, that was speaking to me .
Me too!!
I'm still suffering with a broken heart from my cheating boy friend. My heart still hurt. Thank God for this beautiful woman's wisdom.
I often tell myself if I didn't had my son at an early age, I would've had my degree and I would've been in the career that I've set out to be in. This message opened my eyes. Thank you, these are more than words of inspiration it's like a blessing to hear them.
My mom used to ALWAYS say people treat you the way you allow them! I could NEVER understand that when I was in my twenties. Well...fast forward to my late 40s!!! BOY Do I understand that now!!! Self love helps you to see yourself the way God Almighty sees you! When you see yourself through HIS eyes...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! And will not accept anything less than. ❤️
I adore you and the time you take to share your wisdom! Life changing 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 Thank you!
I can get enough of her wisdom she truly makes me reflect about my relationship that i have for my self wish is pretty bad but i will work on that to make it better
Working on myself is very difficult. Im allowing myself to feel feelings that i shut off for years. Out of sight out of mind.. not true, somehow it surfaces one way or another. Im committed to looking head on at all the painful things that surface. Lord give me strength. Thanks Ms Iyanla im late to this but im so worth it
oh lord ! am gettin' chillzzzz, thank u for sharing this Dear Iyanla, i am honoured to confess that i am having a good and beautiful relatinship with me , it s been a long road, but i feel the connection...
Hi Queen J Jay I'm happy for you. How did you end up feeling the connection?
Low self esteem....yes
Shame of my appearance....yes
Don't know who i am...yes
Attract low men.....yes
Yet i love who i am deep down but my main downfall is outer validation.
Thank you iyanla for this empowering words of wisdom.
Truly...because there really is only one relationship and that is the one you are having with you🖤
Thank you! The Universe is always on time!!
God bless you! This was one of the first episodes that i watched since subscribing to your channel. I'm so glad I did because I so needed to hear this message today. You were definitely speaking to me today, and i took everything in. I felt it in my heart, mind, and soul. You are so blessed, we need beautiful strong black women like you around to help encourage us when we're down. I thank you so much, and you now have a faithful listener.
the more episodes l see the more inspired l feel
Thank you Ayanla! There are parts of myself that I struggle w/ accepting, I even pretend they don't exist. But then I get frustrated when I meet people who express those sides of me that I refuse to express, b/c deep down, a part of me is jealous. A part of me would also like to do those things, but I don't b/c I try to be more responsible. I now know that their role in my life was simply to get me to love all of myself. Thank you!!!
My life is changing ! feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to hear your message. God bless you Iyanla Vanzant
omg I don't know who I am 😢
ryshema freeman don't worry honey you're not alone.
i hope you found her :)
Ms. Iyanla Vanzant- I have loved you since "Yesterday, I cried" which I read before I was a teenager and have referred to many times in my life. I am so happy that you have come into your greatness and that you have this opportunity to spread your blessings onto so many people. I consider myself a relatively evolved person by the grace of God and his grace only, however I so needed this...I so needed you and your messages. I so needed to hear God's voice through you. I am so thankful for you and God bless.
Wow... I guess this is what Paul felt like once he wasn't Saul anymore. Thank you. I had a serious epiphany at 7:22 - 7:52. I really appreciate this at age 19. You got yourself a new subscriber. God bless. Thank you so much.
Light bulb moment for me. When I always put others first ofcourse they will always put me second! That is what I have taught them (people pleasing). Up until this moment I was seeking external acceptance because I didn't realise I needed to accept myself for who I am instead I did what most of us do, I searched for it outside of me. No wonder I never got it :) it's not for anyone else to give me. Thank you for these lovely chats Iyanla 🥰 love and light 🌹
Dear Iyanla mama,everything u say in this video is soooo true. “How I treat myself trains ppl about how they treat me. “ This made me cry! A lot of Thanks to u.
Thank you for this video, it helped me in so many ways
Much needed advice --- never realized how much I've been neglecting myself by indulging in others who inevitably weren't really worth my time---no more....
I have heard the saying that "I attract who I am" or they might say "who is attracted to you has something to do with the energy your putting out". I still dont understand that. Its not making sense to me. For example: why dont I attract more men who are indepedent or are exposed to a higher level of education as I? why do the men who wants mommies approach me. I mean the types that see me as the answer to all their issues. where are the men who want a team mate in life. The ones who know their role and are looking for a woman who knows her role. jeez...anybody gets me?
'You attract what you are' is too simply said for what it really means. You are attracting what you are in the sense that you said you are independent and highly educated. So you attracting men that will feed off your independence and your education gives you something over them. So in essence what's in them is attracted to what's in you. Consider this, are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you willing to share your life with someone? Are your emotionally cold? Do you see your education as putting you in a higher level then others? Do you feel it puts you in an authority position. People will always be attracted to something in you that matches something in you. They can be similar or opposites. Look at it as their dependable part could match a dependable part in you, or the part in you that is not willing to be vulnerable attracts there dependable part. Either way it tells you what your energy is giving.
+rebeca brown I sorta get it now. The way how you put it,the statement doesnt seem as ridiculous as before.
C. Sergeant
C. Sergeant I don't know if you have tried already, but joining a professional business club, or basically places or events that have people with your interests. You may even have to pay to attend a leadership conference, or a professional seminar. Just broaden your social circle.
One way I've heard this put is that you attract in others what you EXPECT others to be. You obviously expect men to want a mama, etc (from what you wrote). Your belief system is now that that's all you ever attract. You might try working on believing that you CAN and DO attract the kind of men you want. Once you change your belief (subconsciously) that you attract the guys you like/want, they will have to appear. By the way, the concept of 'attracting who I am" confused me for a long time until I heard this way of looking at it. Basically it all comes down to belief. Hope this helps! :)
I'm really grateful that people like you exist in this world who makes us feel less lonely in our pain and give us power.
Every word of what you said is gold. Throughout the videos, I took my journal and pen and write down and do some homework- ended up with 4 pages of writing. Thank you so much Iyanla!
What you said in a matter of seconds open up the flood gates of redirecting my thoughts about ME and not this world! Thank you so much!!
Iyanla I love you so much! I just began the journey of self love and watching your videos has brought me to tears more than once. Your knowledge is invaluable and has helped wake me up out of a deep depression. You've done for me what therapists failed to do. I thank God for bringing you into my life!
it's the best thing i have never heard in my life and i'm 60 years old ...Thank you Iyanla, you made my day !
That was a POWERFUL message!!!!!!!! Soul Stirring!!
I needed to hear this today!!
I’m going through a tough time at the moment, and I’m lashing out at people who might need it, but as you say, I know that I see things in them that bring out the worst in me!! Thanks for having a talk with me, and letting me see that I’m trying to understand how I can go forward in life, and be at peace with myself & my life. I know it’s part of my life lessons and I’ll be back to listen to more of your wise words! 💕😊
Word of inspiration for the soles.
Wonderful 😊 sprit she is
She is right on point. and straight to the heart.. love it!!!
This bring tears to my eyes- thank you, Iyanla🌹😊
Thank you for the garland of these wise & loving words!
I am ready to start this journey of a wonderful & healthy relationship with myself at 30!!
i feel at peace with what i just received. Thank you 💕
Wow.... so deep and real. I did things in my past I am not proud of and for a long while I allowed those things to identify who I was. It took understanding how God sees me and how He loves me regardless of my ugliness to be able to learn to love myself too. I’m still not proud of those things but when my mind goes there I reroute it to all the things I’ve learned from those times and how they are helping me be a better me today. And the interesting thing is I can and have helped people learn to love themselves and others too. Jesus gave himself for me so that I don’t have to live in a place of self loathing, He forgave me so how can I not forgive myself, and how can I not forgive others as well?
God bless you! Oh and I love the T-shirt’s you wear. 💃🏻
You look great Mama...
You are such a wise teacher Iyanla, I appreciate your word and wisdom. Share and give to others for bring about change.
❤Oh, My Queen👸You are a Blessing🥰You are an Angel🪄Thanq, isn't enough💖
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IYANLA, and I thank you so much for this video, with Tears in my eyes after watching this powerful message, beyond a doubt in my mind, God has chosen you as the perfect instrument to relay such great words of Wisdom to the world. I'm so grateful to listen to you every day here on UA-cam, as This is truly my season of growth. I know that I have displayed behavior of 'I really don't know myself,' and I have accepted a lot of BS for the past 20 years, because I was never taught certain things. Over the past year, some of my male friends in my life have been quite Accurate in showing me Who I am... and it Hurts, and I cry.... but I'm okay and I'm open to it, because I know I must change my perspective and outlook of life “This is right on Time for me" and I must do my work (Tonight)
Thank you again
NNicole Barnes Most of all know yourself worth . And pray for what you want in Jesus name Amen
Ms. Iyanla I'm so thankful for what I would call your ministry to everyone. It is so real the issues we have that we didn't know we were carrying them. And if we did what to do about it. I have learned so much from you. I started to write about me today. And this is the first time I've heard this particular message.
I truly love this lesson. thank you Iyanna for being a Angle on Earth, showing us Gods true love. without you and many others we would not know how to find our true selves. I'm going to cry now, thank you.... go in peace not in peace's :)
Where would I be without Iyanla Vanzant?
In a ditch with no hope for living the life I deserve.
Thank you so much for all you do! I hope to free black people the way you do everyday someday🖤
I am a very loyal person, extremely faithful and loyal, but I only attract cheaters and liars? HOOOW?
Natalya Kuzminova same here :(
From what she says at the end, look at who you are and how you treat yourself cause it trains people about how they'll treat you.
Natalya Kuzminova I think sometimes we are so loyal and faithful to others that we put others before ourselves . Be loyal and faithful to yourself first .
When we don't give and do for us....we cheat on ourselves, we cheat ourselves from unconditional acceptance and nurturing...hope that helps in someway
Are you loyal to your own principles and pursuit of happiness though? Do you show up for yourself? Do you love you, do you honor you, do you trust you? - repeating notes I took from the video. More power to you 🔥❤️
Thank you so very much. Everything you expressed is proven to be true in my own life. I practice Who Am I every day of my life. Blessings to you in ABUNDANCE! May you continue to inspire true healing for the soul.
How correct! The thing ...emotion...in your life..your heart shows up when you meet others. We can't go looking for love,.... from who??? Others enable us to express who we are. Don go looking for love!!!Go out to dish it out...
Omg I just love how you get to the core of oneself(myself). Thank you God for showing me when I didn't want to look and work on.Iyanla let he continue to use you. Love you!
She's amazing, her videos have helped me in my life so much. I'm thankful to her for taking he time to share these things with all of us. God bless her
oh how I needed this, Thank you Iyana! I have been going through so much with especially family members, so I believe God brought this to me. I need to reflect on who I am.
this video just made me boo hoo like a newborn baby...... I definitely need a one on one with Iyanla Vanzant
Thank you for being a Gift to mankind .As always, I've been enlightened.
I so love this and very much needed. I will carry this moment out forever. Thank you for giving your life so others may have life.
How did you know I have an Aunt Mabel??? She sweet tho, but tough
Me too lol
Thank you Iyanla, this is exactly where I need to be, I don't know who I am and it's scares me. Thank you for the tools in this lesson to find that out, peace and love.
On point and on time, as usual, Miss Iyanla.
This lady makes a lot of sense 🙏🏻😊
This is my third time seeing this episode. I love it because this is where I am in life. " Who am I?'.
I just stumbled across her UA-cam page and this episode funny thing is I'm in the process of reading Yesterday I Cried..
Powerful WHO AM I? So powerful need to put myself first always we are thought that is selfish but you cannot give from an empty cup. Self care self love self acceptance
💖Thank You For This Word Of Light, Truth And Love💖
Excellent advice. Going all the way back to the begining. I can see why the mistakes happen, and continue to happen. Thank you 😊❤️
You are beautiful, calming and to the point. I love your YT channel very much. I have allowed you to be my positive mentor in my life. To teach me how to love me first. I value being a mother, it is important to me, I have baggage of past hurts and I have found comfort in your guidance. To love me first in a healthy mind body and soul system, you have been helping me find ME again. Thank you so much Iyanla 💖💖💖 Love light, and god bless you and all watching from New Zealand.
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement...I'm just beginning my journey to find my authentic self and you have inspired me to see it through.
oh, wow! time to know thyself! so I can attract better people with integrity!
Who is here may 2020? Iyanla is beautiful. Sending love from norway
wow you look GREAT! Awesome message! Ooooh boy,I have work to do and major positive changes need to be made.
I'm so glad God put you in our lives. Thank you and thank God
Powerful message. I will certainly start doing that from now .
I almost cried, this was amazing !!
Thank you so much for that. Essential learning. I am so grateful to be able to receive this guidance and to grow. ❤️🙏🏼
Excellent well done thank you Janice Harley again most inspiring
I THANK GOD FOR YOU SISTER IYANLA. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT.
THANK YOU