A Woman's "A" Game - R Spot Episode 16
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- The R Spot episodes is where Iyanla shares messages, stories, and ideas to develop healthy relationships, and mend the ones that are broken. If you want to send Iyanla questions or share relationship issues; send correspondence to: www.IyanlasFixins@gmail.com
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This is so right on time. I'm 37 and it dawned on me FINALLY that I've never been taught how to treat men! Your words, wisdom and advice is being processed. I finally have found a man who makes me want to learn because he deserves all of those things. Consistently lol. Thank you!
THANK YOU!!! HE PUT A RING ON IT.......HE LOVES THE WAY I APPRECIATE HIM!!!!!!!! YOUR WORDS ARE THE TRUTH!!!
Great tips!! Ladies let's not forget these only work on Men not grown boys.
Dear Soul Sisters Tv They might turn a boy into a man 😒
Lala Alin A boy may not be able to recognize these things that she is doing. My point is make sure your doing these things for the right person not just any ole body.
Lala Alin He has the responsibility of doing that himself, no? We can grow together but change him...?
Dear Soul Sisters Tv I was thinking the same 😅
100% correct!
Wonderfully spoken, "somebody having a sale somewhere" was hilarious!
l am going to start practising with my son. l think this is a wise advise to teak and start treating our sons like that too. this could change the next generation of men.
Beloveds, I encourage you to review Episodes 15 and 16 and put together what you need. I am in no way offering that doing one thing will eliminate or override your desire for the other. I am offering these tips is segments and sections. All parties are equally responsible for the condition, state and quality of a relationship. If we each do our part, the relationship will grow. If we don't do our part, the relationship will suffer from the lack. Do your work and give others in the relationship permission to do their work . . . or not. Then, choose how you want to participate. Hope this helps.
Iyanla Vanzant I am from Paris and I want to say Thank you for all your precious advice. I feel like you are part of my family. One of my friend and I call you "Tatie Iyanla". It means "Auntie Iyanla" :) I love you Iyanla and once again THANK YOU.
love it!
Iyanla Vanzant by
Iyanla Vanzant your such a beautiful soul. Thank you for giving me this beautiful advice. God bless you. 😊☀️HAPPY EASTER 🐣
thanks for ur advice
STANDING OVATION!!! I NEEDED THIS! THX MAMA IYANLA
One word: reciprocation. Love is earned & has to be in equal measure.
MadameWolf facts
I'm not suprised to hear all this. it's true and many many happy couples figured this out early on. before I got married our church had a compulsory 2 day course which taught how to manage finances, how to stay out of debt, how to be closer to God as a couple after marriage and the best one of all... teaching us the differences between men and woman... pretty much as u mention men are dashboards and woman are control panels. the course was taught by 2 mature couples who presented their life experiences and how the navigated thru them. at first I was hesitant to do the course but if u wanted to get married I had to do it.. and honestly it was sooo refreshing and so informative. great way to set up newly weds!
My husband was the one that nit pic everything. He got mad at me for not not picking things. He didn't want me to do things for him. I gave him support but I need support too.
This is not true for all men. I have seen a woman express appreciation at the highest level but she and the man broke up
Your timing is perfect; every, single, time!!! I'm in with the ladies who needed to hear this. Thank you Queen! 💖
love you Iyanla....your advice helps me through some difficult times....there are so many things I haven't been taught having a difficult childhood. but you're one of my teachers thank you so much and God Bless!
I absolutely loved this. The friendship, love and connection I share with my partner is fun, flirty and so full of compassion and love. I’m definitely going to incorporate more of this because he always goes above and beyond for me x
Iyanla, many women do all these steps and more and the husband STILL doesn't reciprocate ... he takes her for granted (and he might get a mistress who he places on a pedestal). That is why women should be more of a receiver than a giver because men will always take women for granted. its a hard pill im training myself to swallow.
listening to the "A" game really made me realize that I need to bring it. I will always deliver my "A" game to my man. He needs to be Acknowledged for what he does. He needs to be Appreciated for who he is. He definitely deserves Affirmation and least I forget that gentle touch of Affection.
My Parents are married 45 years, and what my parents do for each other = love, put its wayyyyyyy tooooo much work for me. I love watching love, but its exhausting for me to work at.
Its naturally in my nature to do what I call love on my man. However I see women struggle with this so much. Women want to be spoiled but we dont know how to reciprocate. Even if you end up not together, he will always remember your tenderness!!
Heart Break Hotel Inc Thank You For Being Who You Are.
Iyanla, what is the difference between the way a healthy man acts in a relationship vs an unhealthy man. Thank you. You are a blessing 😇
Thank you soul mama!!! Let me get my A game on 😆😆😆😆
Peace & Love Iyanla... thank you so much for sharing your wisdom... I'm about to enhance my A game!!! "grabbing him around the waist while he's peeing" had me rolling! lol... Many Blessings to all!!!!
This makes so much sense. I'm sitting here reevaluating everything 😂 Thankyou so much for this video
Thank you for this episode. My had been telling me that he needs affection and I asked him what it is that he was looking for as far as affection and he couldn't answer me. But this episode has helped me see clearly what I need to work on. Hopefully we will get back together.
You know it's this kind of videos that helps me embrace fully my feminity I can watch it over and over and learn evry single time to open up a little peace of my heart and my mind. I honestly need to change. thank you so much.
Well spoken. Iyanla, I have been watching you for years now. In my experience, it can be quite difficult at times to reach younger women because they may view it as judgmental, but that's not always the case. I admire you so much!! Although I wasn't taught these things you listed, I came into my relationship with a purpose. That purpose was to be happy. A part of that means assuring he's happy. A man is made as the head and not the tail. We as women have to view our men as such. The man has to also be invested in order for our A game to be rewarded. I will continue following you. I'll be waiting for your next video!! Stay Blessed.
wow!!!!amazing tips .. thank you Iyanla... not always easy to do with you are going through some difficult times but definetely, they will go a long way. Those A Games points are great.
Thank you so much for these videos. Personally, it gives me such joy to love that special person in my life, but somehow, for some reason, I feel I need to learn to do a better job of making him feel it. I'm thankful for lessons and resources like this where I can learn how to make him feel loved. These videos are much appreciated and so is my loved one - he, too, is much appreciated and loved - I'm looking forward with love and eagerness for him to come home, so we can be in love, and express that love better than ever before. Thanks, again, for this.
The A game : -
1. Acknowledgment - without correction or complaining.
2. Appreciation - who he is and what he does
3. Affirmation
4. Affection
5. Apologise
Buy some decent nightwear and (daywear - look after yourself) and stop wearing your old marathon tshirt from 1999 to bed !
"Grabbing onto his waist when he's peeing" LOOOOOOOL they way I'd laugh if I wasn't on this train right now
Thanks Iyanla! Always intelligent! Always real! The community really needs these principles and insights. Keep doing what you do.
Sister Iyanla, you better preach! Thanks so much! I'm going to work to incorporate all of this into my life and my relationship when I get one. I actually do much of these in my relationship with God, though.
Most men get rewarded for what they do, few of them get affirmed for who they are.
Wow.
i love the way you laugh... its so funny, it makes me laugh too
Yep....that's why I'm not married and have no desire to be. lol.(hope iyanla's suggestions work for those if you who are) I understand what she's saying. But it seems the adjustment is always on the part of the woman. Men love to be respected but they forget that true respect is earned. I had a few male friends and acquaintances that I came to know over time. I never expressed any interest in them outside of a good friendship. I guess maybe they wanted more. So I get comments(in a feign joking tone) such as "yeah I come over and you cook for me". My response: "ok, and then we'll go by your bank and you make a withdrawal for me". You see, I know that most men view a woman speaking about money as a "gold digging". Yet they quickly place us in the kitchen and bedroom. I was never asked about my day or how I was feeling. The conversations are always about catering to them or what they won't allow their wife to have(one guy told me that his future wife won't be allowed to have a separate fb page from him). Most men don't think that maybe they can make a woman's life miserable by being overly dominating. If they(men) applied for a job and the prospective supervisor only spoke about what was expected but never mention any benefits(insurance/vacation/bonus/raises), would they really take that job?
I did though offer appreciation and affirmation to those so-called friends of mine all in the same sentence. What was it? "Thank you for reminding me why I am glad I am not married". Lol
Alovellyone I'm sorry that you have had such bad luck with men. Hopefully the right one will come along. I love being married but I think my husband is rare compared to the men I interact with on a daily basis. A lot of these men are obsessed with sex and are commitment phobic. So I understand why you wouldn't want to be bothered.
Red Delphino. I am glad you found a man who cares and appreciates you. I believe the institution of marriage is indeed God-given. It just that many though only see it as a institution to fulfill their own needs...they forget about the needs of their partner. Even the Bible, God told(after she and Adam rebelled) that her husband would dominate her.* That dominating attitude was the result of sin and something the creator never intended. And a lot of men are fulfilling that prophecy and will be held accountable. It is one thing to take the lead...it another to completely control everytime the woman chews a slice of gum. I believe the first impression is the lasting one. Therefore if a man immediately starts to tell me 'what he won't allow' or asking me only about my physical appearance or cooking skills then next question I have "in what language would you like me to say goodbye to you?". Lol. Granted we all have our wants but at some point you have to consider the other individual. So in the song of cameo, "I'm living that single, single, single....LIFE". lol.
Genesis 3:16(NIV)- "To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
Alovellyone , Did you see the video she did on What Women need ?
I just played both these videos and my husband and I listened to both of them .
We are both willing to learn and change for our happiness 👍🏼✌🏼 ❤️🎁❤️🎁❤️🎁❤️
Alovellyone , that Genesis verse is written by man and man alone .
God would never write such drivel . Amen . 👍🏼✌🏼💞🙏🏼💞🙏🏼💞🙏🏼
I wish you could've be my mother...so my marriage will be perfect with this kind of knowledge and wise advices.... thank you so much
I really liked this video. Too bad it may be a little too late since my husband and I are currently separated. However, if I get another chance with my marriage, My A game will always be in the forefront of my relationship.
Justice DST praying for your marriage
Olubukola Oriowo - Thank you
Justice DST don't give up just yet on your marriage even if you are separared. Talk To your hubby and try To work things out . it's never too late To apply these advices. keep faith in God.. every thing happens for a reason..🙏
Good evening,
It’s my first time here and it was so right!!! Thank you for reminding us because sometimes we tend to forget their needs.
This is just incredible 👏 🙌 😍 ❤ thank you 😊
thank you miss Iyanla I just love how you always hit home when Im listening to you, and your humor along the way. Bless you🌸
I love Iyannla I appreciate all of her wise words. i feel like she is my aunt or fairy god mother. she’s the bomb. she’s a queen. a true part of my self healing over these last 4 years along with therapy meditation prayer and self care to the extreme. ❤️
This is still one of my favorite videos. Thank you!!!
I have learnt sooo much and share these ideas.. I to put these into practice immediately as soon as my husband comes home I told him how much I appreciate him.... awesome do simple...why do black like to complicate things.... like the way u even give examples..this is in answer to my prayers this morning
Oh my gosh, these are the things I wanted so desparately but instead, I got a lot of criticism and contempt. Now, we are divorced and she blames me for everything and still projects her issues onto me. I love your insights! There was one other lady that I discovered that I started calling the "husband whisperer." It looks like I can Iyanla Vanzant to that list!
Love these advice and I am gonna start using these helpful tips asap.Thanks.
Gheesh! I got soooo much to learn about Love and relationships...
I got it so now I understand, thank you so much ❤.....lol that's me guilty
Oh how I just love this woman!
Thanks Ms. Iyanla for remind me those tips. Great teacher !
I really appreciate this video it thought me alot a job well done.....
Stop going to bed in them raggedy pajamas,,,,,bahahahaha. TRUE!!!
PeteMacDetroit "somebody is having a sale" 😂😂😂
Thank you for this at 34 learning how to love on a man and I have girls whom I want to be married..just went through a bad break up it was over before it began most of the thing mentioned I have done because it was natural. I am super loving and affectionate it was all met with resistance so I understand from a conversation this person did not grew up receiving hugs 🤗 and kisses affection he says he gives tough love whatever that means but our people especially males need all the things you say because they grew up without it the thing is how do you get them to see it patience prayer 🙏 some prayers go unanswered because it it neither the person will or TMH . Like someone commented below grown ups adults can appreciate and recognize effort
I love and respect you Mama Iyanla but I feel like I have done so much with nouthing in return I just want to give up way too. much work For a man who dose not care to see me and all I do for our family Right advice wrong man
Cindy Cash 💯
Cindy Cash why the conditions for love? I think you should talk to him about your needs
I've been talking for 9 years its like haveing second job
Cindy Cash oh my goodness I can relate. Blessings to you :)
Cindy Cash thats right i feel same way! Hell no! 😂 fuck this I won’t do any of this cuz im tired and i doesn’t work for my bf 😂
How are you funny and wise all in the same breath lol i feel like im sitting in her living room getting a 1 on 1! I love you Iyanla!!!
😂😂 I Love you , great advice and you ALWAYS make me laugh 😘🙏🏽
Aww my lawd...I feel like ur talking 2 me..."I'm every woman"
Thankyou for making me aware of what I have been doing.🙏❤
oh.. great video, the tips are useful and the more lovely are the examples that you gave. You are so lovely, sweet, spontaneous and you have the sense of humor. I Love you :)
Love this already . Thank you iyania x
OK I can change the pajamas, but what about my bonnet and hair wrap. :)
Lol I was thinking about the same thing!
Spot on.
Love the sound of your voice💓
a woman needs the same things
Ur so right..woman do all the putting out..the man get comfortable with that and forget to give back it dont have it in them to give back..its a miserable feeling to crave what u give out
@@carolwatkins7965 Yep, I'm miserable..... Been down almost 7 year NEVER been on a date. and been repeatedly lied to and devalued,
She has other videos regarding that issue.
Yes we do
@@texasevents9899 How long are you going to put up with that? I hope you loved yourself enough to leave..
Love your tips. Thanks Miss Iyanla Vanzant...
Love how these women respond to this video awesome lady
Loved this one as well "GodMother"! Thank you , bless you ❤️
Amazing tips!! Thank u 🤗
This talk is diamond to me, thanks my lovely sister.!
You are always on point.
Thank you for being you and teaching.
Iyanla I love you. You are my therapy and so much more.
Wow great words, gotten me energised
Thank you for your true inspiration
Thank you so much.I know this helps my marriage.
I am learning so much. Thank you.
I love you so much I've been calling you my fairy god mother for sometime now. I'm 25 years old and have used your advice and guidance in my life so much thank you God bless
Simply Love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now that is true cuz I used to do that not all the time but I made a lot of mistakes so I blame myself for a lot of stuff but the next relationship I learn from the last one so I know what to do
OMG...you're a treasure chest, you're so blessed! I'm loving this because I think in the same way.
Thank you! 💕
u single? :)
I really needed this! Indeed we learn daily.
This information was great but unfortunately, it didn't help. I have always done what suggested in the video and hardly ever got the appreciation back in return just like you said. So we are now divorcing after 15 years of marriage. He still says that he doesn't feel appreciated or respected and neither do I for what I do. So we are throwing in the towel. Tired of giving and giving and never getting any thing back in return but what he thinks he isn't getting.
She's so passionate about her content! 💃💓
Thank you Iyanla for sharing your wisdom with the world!
Thank you, Mama. 🙏🏾😘💖
I needed,this...this is so great
No matter what you do if they don’t love, they don’t love you. :(
Your expression oweeee I lovers demmmm super cuteee...
Love it 😊
Thanks ... I needed these advice
I love your shirts! Great advice too.
i dont know i ended in ur video,am heavenly glad to meet you your sow lovely
you are a strong woman
In other words, speak to the King in your man.
Hmm.. very insightful. I'll comment from my perspective as a Southern African woman. Part of the reason why we show less affection is that it always leads to sex, though that's not always our intention. Affection is viewed as an ask for some wild action. That's just my view based on my own and some of my associates experiences. No judgement.
GWENSEGALO72 that's so true with me. Every time I'm affectionate with my husband, he thinks I want sex. Unfortunately our relationship has gone downhill because of that. I spoke to him about this issue and he just tells me I'm making excuses. He's pushed my feelings and thoughts away because in quite "I'm making excuses" Hope for the best to all. Blessings.
luvmyhobbies
I had a chat with a few ladies and it seems to be common practice with our men, so we've decided to experiment for a month. We'll show affection more often than usual but the timing has to be perfect, just before leaving for work, telephonic ally or early evening when chances of sexual advances are slim. We want to see if they'll get used to it and not assume that it means let's do it. We know that chances are they'll want sex as often as you show affection so to our own detriment initialy but let's try and see.
Thought this was awesome!!!!
I love your videos thank you
I've been married for 42 years. I stroked his ego too much since day one. It gets tiresome when it's not reciprocated.
So true
I think certain things are different from men and women. Biology differences I believe in it. But social differences are taught! The masculine mind is taught and nurtured. We have to stop doing that! Both male and female need acknowledgement, appreciation, and encouragement. The weight shouldn't always fall on us women.
SAY IT LOUD !!!!
wisdom at its best.Thank you Iyanla
Great tips!
Don't grab him around his waist when he's peeing! 😂
Thank you for this beautiful soul beautiful you.