It's always easier to place blame on others than looking at yourself. Iyanla always challenges you to take responsibility for everything in your life. This is not easy, but at the end of the day it is empowering and causes tremendous personal growth. Another great video, as always. Love her teachings!
This video brought me to tears. I have been dealing with a lot of hurt and pain over the years due to lies and betrayal from people that I love and all the hate has been on my shoulders for years. Even though my heart knew all this time I was responsible. I continued to allow myself to be hurt because I love the people who betrayed me. I know it's time for me to change because through the years I have been going on this down spiral each time worse then the previous action
Thank you for sharing Dear Florence!!! It sounds like you're a lovely person n it's their loss for disrespecting you.... I'm having similar issues as I navigate business, been a very tense/competitive feeling intro to this game called fame.... n um, this is MY LIFE N MY FAMILY.... n ain't nobody gonna make me feel less than.... yes, I've learned my lessons... no, I'm not letting people in to take advantage like that, I now exploit them. And if those Ad. Boys can't pay me or at least acknowledge me..... then go wait!!! Haha
I went through a breakup this year and what you just said is what I've been learning over the past couple of months.You put this so eloquently and lovingly. Thank you so much!
Right? I'm in my forties n I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of why I've allowed certain HURTS to fester in my life, n how I can course correct.
You are a lifesaver, my daughter went trough a bad brakeup.. this videos helped me=help her. You strength my relationship with her and God.. Thank you so much for this videos 🥰
This is so true! You get to choose how you respond to your heartbreak. You get to create your own experience. Don’t worry about the other person that is unhealthy and serves no benefit. Focus on U! Thank you for this powerful message!
why don't people understand Personal Responsibility? we are responsible for every single thing we do from minute we get up till minute we go to sleep. it's really easy but people make it hard.
It becomes Hazy when/if challenges arise that grow beyond your capacity to control, this is when SURRENDER is needed, but even then we must hold empathy for those that experience life in a manner different from your own.
I just don’t understand why people hurt others. Why and how do people cheat, abandon, and betray others? Wouldn’t that just gnaw at a persons soul knowing that they hurt someone? Thinking of the guilt in itself is enough to prevent me from hurting others. This woman here is so inspirational, wise, smart, evolved. What a beautiful spirit. Thank you for having such a beautiful core
They do that bc misery loves company. It takes work for ppl to be faithful. Some ppl are just lazy. So they rather the easy way out. And do whatever they want. Ppl are tempted to doing their lustful things. It's a shame that ppl dont understand what morals are anymore
I think if we dig into psychology a little bit deeper we will see there's all kinds of people in the world, including people without a conscience. You obviously have one because the thought of hurting someone would bother you. Please know that everyone does not think on a level like this and we should be aware of people who don't.
I love you Iyanla. It is 4:50 in the morning and I'm watching the R spot and I was watching when you was speaking about The Spiritual Code of Conduct. I started watching you because I was crying in my bed and couldn't stop because my relationship is coming to an end. So, I decided to watch you because you always calm me down. I thank my Lord for you and thank you for your good energy....I see a lot of my self in you.
I now know it was my fault. I chose holding on the his insurance that he let me keep while he was in another relationship only so he could keep me bonded with him. It lasted 10 years. So when he decided to get into another relationship, he dropped me like a hot potatoe and I flipped, almost had to go into a mental hospital. Thanks to Iyanla. Thank you. Im getting better every day!!!!! One day at a time!!!!
I did exactly what Isabel did!!! Hearing you tell this story just empowered me!!! I was devastated but I was proud of myself because years ago, I would have stayed......My pattern is ignoring red flags, having an expectation that men will cheat, not trusting, and waiting for the day for me to say “See, I knew it.” I have major work to do on me.
How do I recovery my intuition after the trauma of being betrayed? I'm suspicious and paranoid 8 months after discovering my husbands affair. We have been married for 24 years. The affair id long over but my gut won't let its guard down.
A very good message, thank you for your time in getting this episode online. Recently I've learned the hard way that my "reaction to emotion" was the wrong way in dealing with a woman I cherished for 18 months who clearly wasn't loyal to me during our relationship. It hurts, but your message has gone a long way in helping me recognize the abuse from my past and the types of women I seem to attract now. The understanding that I am slowly developing on my own from these experiences has been validated by your message in this video. Thank you.
Hi Brent. Look into codependency & narcissism. That may answer some questions for you. Narcissistic woman or man would never treat your right no matter how much you love them or what you do. It is all always about them! They will have no time for you, no respect or appreciation of you. They are unable to "see" you, your qualities, your light, uniqueness. Will not be interested in what makes you tick as a person, your dreams, ambitions,wants. Codependent is there just to serve needs of narcissist.There is no reciprocity in such relationships. They play with us for a while & just bin us & go looking for somebody new. We codependents let this happen because this is how our parents treated us & we don't know any other " love" . Until we face our childhood hurt & heal our disappointed & broken hearts, people like this will keep hurting us. Look after yourself & mend your broken heart so that one day you can have a healthy loving relationship with someone worthy of your love and time.
I am torn over what I put myself through again. I saw the red flags but didn't speak my truth. I could of saved myself, my soul from the heartbreak. I didn't ask the questions cause I feared the answers that ended up coming to life when he wanted me to go. I was in a different state & devested. Is my lesson to speak up for me when the writing is on the wall. My mind is torturing me. From your example is my lesson to stand up for myself? I know where I contributed, I kept silent while he planned his departure. I wasn't like Isabel. I need to speak up for me, change my behavior. Learn to communicate -speak my truth. That I believe is my lesson to break this cycle I find myself in. I take my responsibility. I will chose better in my future. Thank YOU for sharing your wisdom.
When I was a little girl my dad left my mom for my mom‘s best friend. I remember the day that he left I was hanging on to his ankles crying and begging him not to leave. He did leave with the other woman. I’ve come to learn that I feel like I will never be “chosen first”. I met The man I married when I was 15 years old. I have been with him for 35 years and married for 28 years. He was my first everything. We recently separated which was devastating to me. He no longer wants to work on our marriage. I have never felt “chosen first“ by him and I never felt like I was a priority to him. He was always priority #1 with me. How do I go about releasing the fact that the two most influential men in my life did NOT choose me. I do not want to carry this into any future relationships, how do I release this pattern.
Its me Brenda Lee By writing this you did you said many times you felt like you wasn’t chosen first .......I know you felt relief after you wrote this very freeing journal 🙏🏾
I am so glad I listened to this video. Iyanla Vanzant, you are truly shinning your light to enlighten those who are still living in the shadows of negative relationships.
I LEARNED..."NO TRUST OTHER THAN MY TRUST IN GOD BECAUSE EVERYONE I EVER TRUSTED HAS BROKE MY HEART ❤SO I KEEP MY GUARD UP AND IT CAN NEVER BE LOWERED. YOU CAN NEVER SUCKERPUNCH ME BECAUSE IM FOREVER LOOKING FOR IT."
I hope girls like me n you can learn to let our guards down, at least a little? I'm in the same club.... I'll hurt you, reject you, so u won't hurt me mentality. However, I find I'm the one missing out on loving n living in full color, so to speak. Ugh, it's so hard to want to try for me too, though.... it's been years since I tried. .... oops!?
Thank you Iyanla for your quality advise. You keep me balanced and help me to reflect on certain situations especially relationships. I thank you and I salute you do not stop educating please 😊🌌
I like this because it puts me in the light that I am responsible for my own happiness. I can't blame someone else for how I feel and to stop pointing fingers. I have to take better care of myself. Thank you for this video. I ca see my patterns.
wow that's absolutely amazing it is our responsibility to ourselves to make sure that we are taking care of my own mind it's almost like she's talking about affirmations
I needed this so bad. I felt like I did not know how to move past my past heartbreak. It’s shown up in my current situation. And it’s scary bc I felt trapped in my feelings. I needed this! I can have healthy relationships and heal this. Thank you!
You are the one who is responsible when you get broken, because your the one who bring out yourself, to overcome in difficult situations and you did not notice you already heal and oh your doing better.
I claim full responsibility fr the consequences nd circumstances. so nice of u lovely lady fr the great thoughts u delivered. that's not just the case with girls alone, I'm a thirty year old man went through a very horrible phase in my life recently,by I thank the lovely lady fr spiritual awakening.I thank her whole heartedly nd I free myself by forgiving myself and her. thanks again.
Thanks, Teach!!! I know I've been stubborn to learn how to unravel my patterns, n study my mistakes.... It's easier to put up a wall of defensiveness, blame others, n keep the blinders on. However, that is the childish patterns I've been exhibiting for decades now, n I am willing to grow past em. N I am blessed to have this AMAZING HEALING Journey n time to process it's gifts. The laws of cause n effect gnaw at the subconscious at times, but it gives relief to feel I'm growing into my role as a teacher and empath. Learning to not care what others think has been extremely necessary.... I love your lessons n humor n message of excellence, Dear Iyanla!!! Thanks for guiding us through this era of new ideas n faith that's being tested. Thank you for listening, Dear Fellow Fans!!!
Ms. Iyanla, I thought for a moment once seeing you were doing this vlog, not to do the one I had been working on. Thanks to you I have decided to go forward and share what's inside of me and take the occurrence that we would come out with the same idea at the same time speaks to how far my spirit has come. Now this revelation has been confirmed for me because I was in the process of writing my next episode and I used the exact example you used in this video about the scene on Greenleaf. I am using that scene to discuss infidelity. I am speaking to part where she says, "Just tell me the truth now because I won't go into this marriage beginning with a lie." I think his decision not to lie respected her intuition and he wanted to be honest before going into the marriage. I believe this was an opportunity for their relationship to have open and honest communication going forward.
Yesss I So Do Agree With You IyanIa I ended a Relationship or An Engagement with a man I Suspected that he was cheating on me and I asked him a Question are you cheating on me then he had the nerve to Tell me ohh you don't know what your talking about your to paranoid like Really!!. Because my concseince was telling me other wise so that's when the Ugly Truth finally came out... So I Ended the Engagement and He was shocked because I was Married Twice and Twice I filed for Divorce and I warned him if you cheat on me or Do me wrong I will End it he Assured me he wasn't that typed of Man... WRONG!!!.... So in the end yes I was hurt, But I had my Dignity in tracked it took me a while to get myself back Together but I'm here like Ceile said on the color purple ☔️ i'm Here!!!
Bravo Nikei sassa it means an overcomer stand like the brave with your face to the foe all the best we are all in this thing call life together 👨👩👧👧👊
This is such a great message auntie yanla! There was a time when I didn't understand this. But I know now that WE are "Responsible" for all the situations and relationships we find ourselves in. It was hard for me at times to face the fact that I mirrored some of the relationships that i involved myself in. Because it wasn't always a pretty thing to see. But once I got honest with myself and faced the truth. I was enabled to start making the changes I wanted to see in my life.
I wouldn't have asked or taking a stand . after 40 years of marriage , finally taking a stand . yes , I used bad ways to handle it . I've been learning from watching your videos and show . ty
Iyalana. Thank you. Thank you for being born, existing, learning and sharing your wisdom. I feel myself letting go of the past to achieve my destiny and your words help to heal from deep within my core ♥️
thank you thank you thank you. this came right on time and right on target. I had the breakthrough I needed last night watching this and am still processing it. You and your teachings are a gift for those of us who aren't content settling for miserable. thank you!
we broke up yesterday after 3 years of relationship. it's too painful, my heart feels like getting stab repeatedly. I haven't eaten since Saturday morning, i have no appetitie and i feel like I'd vomit just thinking abt food in my mouth. We're living together and he left and staying at his parents house since last night. i have no familu in this state and i just want to completely disappear. no friends to talk to. I'm feeling devastated. No encouraging words can even make it better right now.
Thank you soooooooooooo much Auntie Iyanla. I really needed to see and hear this today. I today will take responsibility of the blow of betrayal that I received this morning. I am on my way to a better me. Pease and Blessings.
Amen...I learned I will avoid all narcissistic people, I will NOT enable bad behavior, I, iwiil not allow others to disrespect me again. I saw the red flags and wasted 14 .5 years of my life but I have learned...stii believe in love enjoying the fruits of my labor
Yes, everthing is a learning experience. I would NOT let this man kiss me or have sex with me because I am a Godly woman. We can get weary, but in the end I stayed true to who I am. I am proud of myself.
Thank you,you make me to find a true definition of real love and deep meaning of who real am I.wish to meet with you personally in future.From Namibia, Africa
Oh dear, raised my a narcissistic mother, whic I discover after 30...I've met quite a few narcs on my way, did years of therapy, learning and so on. I keep on attracting narcissistic men ( a lot less now though) , the only good outcome is that I unmask them very quickly and move as soon as. However, I still attract narcs on the dating scene.... I feel horrible to feel responsible when I have worked so hard to live narc free. :(
How do i respond to shame. I'm ashamed of myself for allowing myself to be put in a hurtful situation for which I never received an apology. It's hard still to this day to be around that person without feeling shame and anger. Idk what to do anymore.
I hope you can forgive yourself for allowing a blind spot, shortcoming, or an insecurity to lead you to be in a relationship you truly didn't want for yourself. Find peace and gratitude in knowing that you you are no longer in the situation and can learn from the experience.
Fnubee i think that's the problem. I haven't forgiven myself. I don't feel like I deserve to forgive myself because I should've been smarter. How do I push past that belief?
once I loved a man soooo much I would do almost anything for him. And he knew it. when I made love to him I would scream and moan like crazy. I would do anything for him in and out of bed. After five years he took things to the hilt. He came out with his other lovers and told me that I would no longer be his main woman and that he had no plans to marry me. Also told me that I would become one of his many women. I was devastated and hoped he would change his mind until I saw him cheating with my own eyes. I left him. I almost didn't make it. I thought he was my everything. I was ashamed of myself. he told me basically I was his personal hoe. well, I turned to God afterwards and learned to value my self. I am married now and have someone who truly appreciates and loves me. recently I was in a store and overheard another lady saying how she dated him for five years too and he dropped her after getting a better job that same night I heard her on his favorite radio station crying about how he left her and naming him. I pulled over my car and thanked God that I was no longer with him. he will do what he does but we women can chose something else.
Dear Sherry, You dated classic narcissist! They never get better by healing their childhood wounds because their pain is too great. They live their lives in denial as they are unable to face reality & admit to yourself that anything is wrong with them & spend their lives hurting everybody in their path. Well done for escaping for that is the only thing one can do. They are not capable of love or change or healing.
Noone wants to be hurt or lied to! If your honest with a person you love then you expect it back. We definitely aren't responsible for other people selfishness or immaturity. I treat people how I want to be treated all the time. Smh
Her struggles and her past have certainly changed my life! She is indeed being used by God! I got burned out with the traditional it's not changing lives it's to much power, control, and money! When God set me free over 7 years from allowing folk to low-key control me certainly through the church I had to maintain my freedom. I couldn't no longer do the justification of being "hurt" by the same people over and over again. It had become just to toxic for me, Iyanla is just 100% real with results to follow!
Indeed we do have things to learn. I am in love with your videos. You got great vibes. Inspirational and informative things. Our minds make us wonder what happened. Thanks for your words.
I really like your advice because is very hurt that you developed a good love but he did make up his mind for you. and he will not even tell you any thing. please dear thank you very much for your counseling.
It's always easier to place blame on others than looking at yourself. Iyanla always challenges you to take responsibility for everything in your life. This is not easy, but at the end of the day it is empowering and causes tremendous personal growth. Another great video, as always. Love her teachings!
Ashley Monique Webster Very well stated....
This is so hard to hear but neccessary. I pray every day to have the courage. This video was right on time for me.
Ugh, Me too.... Courage to make the changes I need to make to Create the life I am WORTHY of manifesting.
I totally agree.We attract people on our level of self_ worth.If I can't love myself, no one will.
Yep, I've been single for so long n now I wanna try n be social again, but I'm working on myself first.... n that's a big old job, so whatever!?
I learnt this the hard way 😮. I'm feeling so lost😢
This is very true. When you see red flags, RUN. I wish I did.
Amen and if somebody cries and says I don't deserve you you deserve better you treat me so good and I treat you so bad don't hug them run from them
Yep
Ugh.... me too
Me too!! Me too!! I should have ran for my life!!😢
I am a man and I love these videos! I believe they apply to men as well (just flipping the roles).
Me too
Awesome.... these r universal lessons, ALL PEOPLE should learn to protect ourselves from undue heartache n regret.
This video brought me to tears. I have been dealing with a lot of hurt and pain over the years due to lies and betrayal from people that I love and all the hate has been on my shoulders for years. Even though my heart knew all this time I was responsible. I continued to allow myself to be hurt because I love the people who betrayed me. I know it's time for me to change because through the years I have been going on this down spiral each time worse then the previous action
Thank you for sharing Dear Florence!!! It sounds like you're a lovely person n it's their loss for disrespecting you.... I'm having similar issues as I navigate business, been a very tense/competitive feeling intro to this game called fame.... n um, this is MY LIFE N MY FAMILY.... n ain't nobody gonna make me feel less than.... yes, I've learned my lessons... no, I'm not letting people in to take advantage like that, I now exploit them. And if those Ad. Boys can't pay me or at least acknowledge me..... then go wait!!! Haha
So true, Taking responsibility, being aware of the PATTERN...setting ourselves free.
This is pure gold. You are a gifted and articulate woman. Thank you for putting this so clearly.
Another pearl of wisdom from 👑 Queen Iyanla! 🌟
It is my responsibility. I accept this responsibility.
Me too
I went through a breakup this year and what you just said is what I've been learning over the past couple of months.You put this so eloquently and lovingly. Thank you so much!
Right? I'm in my forties n I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of why I've allowed certain HURTS to fester in my life, n how I can course correct.
@@mars1783 I am in my late 50s and I just had my 36th wedding anniversary for me to find out or to acknowledge the exact same thing.
I accept that and ever one that have hurt me cut them off and keep it moving..thanks
You are a lifesaver, my daughter went trough a bad brakeup.. this videos helped me=help her. You strength my relationship with her and God.. Thank you so much for this videos 🥰
This is so true! You get to choose how you respond to your heartbreak. You get to create your own experience. Don’t worry about the other person that is unhealthy and serves no benefit. Focus on U! Thank you for this powerful message!
why don't people understand Personal Responsibility? we are responsible for every single thing we do from minute we get up till minute we go to sleep. it's really easy but people make it hard.
It becomes Hazy when/if challenges arise that grow beyond your capacity to control, this is when SURRENDER is needed, but even then we must hold empathy for those that experience life in a manner different from your own.
Once life knocks you around a lil, ypu may ALSO understand why people r So Dumb!?!? Haha
I just don’t understand why people hurt others. Why and how do people cheat, abandon, and betray others? Wouldn’t that just gnaw at a persons soul knowing that they hurt someone? Thinking of the guilt in itself is enough to prevent me from hurting others.
This woman here is so inspirational, wise, smart, evolved. What a beautiful spirit. Thank you for having such a beautiful core
They do that bc misery loves company. It takes work for ppl to be faithful. Some ppl are just lazy. So they rather the easy way out. And do whatever they want. Ppl are tempted to doing their lustful things. It's a shame that ppl dont understand what morals are anymore
I think if we dig into psychology a little bit deeper we will see there's all kinds of people in the world, including people without a conscience. You obviously have one because the thought of hurting someone would bother you. Please know that everyone does not think on a level like this and we should be aware of people who don't.
I love you Iyanla. It is 4:50 in the morning and I'm watching the R spot and I was watching when you was speaking about The Spiritual Code of Conduct. I started watching you because I was crying in my bed and couldn't stop because my relationship is coming to an end. So, I decided to watch you because you always calm me down. I thank my Lord for you and thank you for your good energy....I see a lot of my self in you.
I now know it was my fault. I chose holding on the his insurance that he let me keep while he was in another relationship only so he could keep me bonded with him. It lasted 10 years. So when he decided to get into another relationship, he dropped me like a hot potatoe and I flipped, almost had to go into a mental hospital. Thanks to Iyanla. Thank you. Im getting better every day!!!!! One day at a time!!!!
I just adopted Iyanla as my spiritual Mother... She is a woman of strength and wisdom. #Queens rock 👑
I did exactly what Isabel did!!! Hearing you tell this story just empowered me!!! I was devastated but I was proud of myself because years ago, I would have stayed......My pattern is ignoring red flags, having an expectation that men will cheat, not trusting, and waiting for the day for me to say “See, I knew it.” I have major work to do on me.
How do I recovery my intuition after the trauma of being betrayed? I'm suspicious and paranoid 8 months after discovering my husbands affair. We have been married for 24 years. The affair id long over but my gut won't let its guard down.
up at 4:44 crying over my breakup and this video truly just changed my whole thought process...
A very good message, thank you for your time in getting this episode online. Recently I've learned the hard way that my "reaction to emotion" was the wrong way in dealing with a woman I cherished for 18 months who clearly wasn't loyal to me during our relationship. It hurts, but your message has gone a long way in helping me recognize the abuse from my past and the types of women I seem to attract now. The understanding that I am slowly developing on my own from these experiences has been validated by your message in this video. Thank you.
Hi Brent. Look into codependency & narcissism. That may answer some questions for you.
Narcissistic woman or man would never treat your right no matter how much you love them or what you do. It is all always about them!
They will have no time for you, no respect or appreciation of you. They are unable to "see" you, your qualities, your light, uniqueness.
Will not be interested in what makes you tick as a person, your dreams, ambitions,wants.
Codependent is there just to serve needs of narcissist.There is no reciprocity in such relationships. They play with us for a while & just bin us & go looking for somebody new.
We codependents let this happen because this is how our parents treated us & we don't know any other " love" . Until we face our childhood hurt & heal our disappointed & broken hearts, people like this will keep hurting us.
Look after yourself & mend your broken heart so that one day you can have a healthy loving relationship with someone worthy of your love and time.
True. No one has the power to treat you badly except you give them the power to
I am torn over what I put myself through again. I saw the red flags but didn't speak my truth. I could of saved myself, my soul from the heartbreak. I didn't ask the questions cause I feared the answers that ended up coming to life when he wanted me to go. I was in a different state & devested. Is my lesson to speak up for me when the writing is on the wall. My mind is torturing me.
From your example is my lesson to stand up for myself? I know where I contributed, I kept silent while he planned his departure. I wasn't like Isabel. I need to speak up for me, change my behavior. Learn to communicate -speak my truth. That I believe is my lesson to break this cycle I find myself in. I take my responsibility. I will chose better in my future. Thank YOU for sharing your wisdom.
When I was a little girl my dad left my mom for my mom‘s best friend. I remember the day that he left I was hanging on to his ankles crying and begging him not to leave. He did leave with the other woman. I’ve come to learn that I feel like I will never be “chosen first”. I met The man I married when I was 15 years old. I have been with him for 35 years and married for 28 years. He was my first everything. We recently separated which was devastating to me. He no longer wants to work on our marriage. I have never felt “chosen first“ by him and I never felt like I was a priority to him. He was always priority #1 with me. How do I go about releasing the fact that the two most influential men in my life did NOT choose me. I do not want to carry this into any future relationships, how do I release this pattern.
Its me Brenda Lee By writing this you did you said many times you felt like you wasn’t chosen first .......I know you felt relief after you wrote this very freeing journal 🙏🏾
I am so glad I listened to this video. Iyanla Vanzant, you are truly shinning your light to enlighten those who are still living in the shadows of negative relationships.
I LEARNED..."NO TRUST OTHER THAN MY TRUST IN GOD BECAUSE EVERYONE I EVER TRUSTED HAS BROKE MY HEART ❤SO I KEEP MY GUARD UP AND IT CAN NEVER BE LOWERED. YOU CAN NEVER SUCKERPUNCH ME BECAUSE IM FOREVER LOOKING FOR IT."
I hope girls like me n you can learn to let our guards down, at least a little? I'm in the same club.... I'll hurt you, reject you, so u won't hurt me mentality. However, I find I'm the one missing out on loving n living in full color, so to speak. Ugh, it's so hard to want to try for me too, though.... it's been years since I tried. .... oops!?
Thanks for your motherly talk which is very interesting.
Going through tough time for quite sometime. Needed this; thank you!
Omega, I prayed that you get inner peace and healing. It will get better!
...and you still get to choose how you respond.... Amazing!
The video was Truly Heart Felt...Thank you
Thank you Iyanla for your quality advise. You keep me balanced and help me to reflect on certain situations especially relationships. I thank you and I salute you do not stop educating please 😊🌌
I like this because it puts me in the light that I am responsible for my own happiness. I can't blame someone else for how I feel and to stop pointing fingers. I have to take better care of myself. Thank you for this video. I ca see my patterns.
I'm seriously in love with Iyanla!! Super amazing with amazing advice
Thank you....i accept my responsibility for my part in the heartbreak and I am learning how to respond ❤
wow that's absolutely amazing it is our responsibility to ourselves to make sure that we are taking care of my own mind it's almost like she's talking about affirmations
I needed this so bad. I felt like I did not know how to move past my past heartbreak. It’s shown up in my current situation. And it’s scary bc I felt trapped in my feelings. I needed this! I can have healthy relationships and heal this. Thank you!
women's intuition is a beautiful thing!!! glad to see you posting videos on youtube again,
You are the one who is responsible when you get broken, because your the one who bring out yourself, to overcome in difficult situations and you did not notice you already heal and oh your doing better.
I love and appreciate this women,and the things she says to empower my soul. 💕
I claim full responsibility fr the consequences nd circumstances.
so nice of u lovely lady fr the great thoughts u delivered. that's not just the case with girls alone, I'm a thirty year old man went through a very horrible phase in my life recently,by I thank the lovely lady fr spiritual awakening.I thank her whole heartedly nd I free myself by forgiving myself and her.
thanks again.
Thanks, Teach!!! I know I've been stubborn to learn how to unravel my patterns, n study my mistakes.... It's easier to put up a wall of defensiveness, blame others, n keep the blinders on. However, that is the childish patterns I've been exhibiting for decades now, n I am willing to grow past em. N I am blessed to have this AMAZING HEALING Journey n time to process it's gifts. The laws of cause n effect gnaw at the subconscious at times, but it gives relief to feel I'm growing into my role as a teacher and empath. Learning to not care what others think has been extremely necessary.... I love your lessons n humor n message of excellence, Dear Iyanla!!! Thanks for guiding us through this era of new ideas n faith that's being tested. Thank you for listening, Dear Fellow Fans!!!
You bring so much joy and light to this world. Your thoughts are like receiving a comfortable hug. Thank you!
I love the closing. Stay in "Peace, not in Pieces" Profound
Ms. Iyanla, I thought for a moment once seeing you were doing this vlog, not to do the one I had been working on. Thanks to you I have decided to go forward and share what's inside of me and take the occurrence that we would come out with the same idea at the same time speaks to how far my spirit has come. Now this revelation has been confirmed for me because I was in the process of writing my next episode and I used the exact example you used in this video about the scene on Greenleaf. I am using that scene to discuss infidelity. I am speaking to part where she says, "Just tell me the truth now because I won't go into this marriage beginning with a lie." I think his decision not to lie respected her intuition and he wanted to be honest before going into the marriage. I believe this was an opportunity for their relationship to have open and honest communication going forward.
Needed this. We all do. Thanks for the reminder💯❤❤❤❤🙏🏾👌🏾🔥🔥
Let the church say Amen!!!!!!
Amen!
Amen
Amen
gwadkarukera AMEN
Amen sister I want to take her and put her in my house I need her
Yesss I So Do Agree With You IyanIa I ended a Relationship or An Engagement with a man I Suspected that he was cheating on me and I asked him a Question are you cheating on me then he had the nerve to Tell me ohh you don't know what your talking about your to paranoid like Really!!. Because my concseince was telling me other wise so that's when the Ugly Truth finally came out... So I Ended the Engagement and He was shocked because I was Married Twice and Twice I filed for Divorce and I warned him if you cheat on me or Do me wrong I will End it he Assured me he wasn't that typed of Man... WRONG!!!.... So in the end yes I was hurt, But I had my Dignity in tracked it took me a while to get myself back Together but I'm here like Ceile said on the color purple ☔️ i'm Here!!!
Bravo Nikei sassa it means an overcomer stand like the brave with your face to the foe all the best we are all in this thing call life together 👨👩👧👧👊
All mothers should be as smart as you. My lovely deceased mom was a very strong woman who never tolerated bs. Love her so.
Auntie Iyanla, I heard this message loud and clear.. Peace and blessings..
This is such a great message auntie yanla! There was a time when I didn't understand this. But I know now that WE are "Responsible" for all the situations and relationships we find ourselves in. It was hard for me at times to face the fact that I mirrored some of the relationships that i involved myself in. Because it wasn't always a pretty thing to see. But once I got honest with myself and faced the truth. I was enabled to start making the changes I wanted to see in my life.
What if I hold grudges too much how can I let em go?....I seriously need held.
I wouldn't have asked or taking a stand . after 40 years of marriage , finally taking a stand . yes , I used bad ways to handle it . I've been learning from watching your videos and show . ty
Iyalana. Thank you. Thank you for being born, existing, learning and sharing your wisdom. I feel myself letting go of the past to achieve my destiny and your words help to heal from deep within my core ♥️
thank you thank you thank you. this came right on time and right on target. I had the breakthrough I needed last night watching this and am still processing it. You and your teachings are a gift for those of us who aren't content settling for miserable. thank you!
You made me believe I was not alone in this, you changed my life... You're the best I ever heard of lately.
I love this. I definitely learned something new. I really want to know the patterns I'm making in meeting/choosing the wrong mate.
Me too i am so sick and tired of choosing the wrong mate
This relationship although over let me show myself I can act with dignity in the face of betrayal.Thankyou for this video to help me see that.
we broke up yesterday after 3 years of relationship. it's too painful, my heart feels like getting stab repeatedly. I haven't eaten since Saturday morning, i have no appetitie and i feel like I'd vomit just thinking abt food in my mouth. We're living together and he left and staying at his parents house since last night. i have no familu in this state and i just want to completely disappear. no friends to talk to. I'm feeling devastated. No encouraging words can even make it better right now.
I really like her explanation. Thank you for your time and work.
Thank you soooooooooooo much Auntie Iyanla. I really needed to see and hear this today. I today will take responsibility of the blow of betrayal that I received this morning. I am on my way to a better me. Pease and Blessings.
I will closely examine my patterns and beliefs.
Better off of any relationship - peace by my Self honour my Self was and is my best decision - health, sanity and success are proof - blessings to all
break through and life changing on what I ask of what I allow and what I need to own up to
Iyanla, keep up the Godly mission our creator gave to you.
You are a blessing to many people by the will of God the Almighty.
Your advice has been and continue to be a great help in my life. I thank you from my heart. Live in love and peace
So wise Ms Vanzart!! Yes i shall looking into that and found out the reason. I am take time to reflex them
Great advice. Excellent. Thank you so much. Blessings. You are wonderful.
What if you identified the padron but can't fix it?
Amen...I learned I will avoid all narcissistic people, I will NOT enable bad behavior, I, iwiil not allow others to disrespect me again. I saw the red flags and wasted 14 .5 years of my life but I have learned...stii believe in love enjoying the fruits of my labor
Yes, everthing is a learning experience. I would NOT let this man kiss me or have sex with me because I am a Godly woman. We can get weary, but in the end I stayed true to who I am. I am proud of myself.
From TV... wow...me too. The incling she had is often ignored because the question wont be answered as expected has no ears to fall to.
-Cali
Thank you,you make me to find a true definition of real love and deep meaning of who real am I.wish to meet with you personally in future.From Namibia, Africa
Agreed, I thought I was bad off after a disappointment within a failed relationship, but I hear I'm doing fine.Good job me.
This came at the right time, TY 😀 no answer is an answer and can be a lie.
Take a breath! Love it
If my heart gets broken it is due to my own rigidity, or unwillingness to accept change. Things are never as they seem.
Ms. Vanzant thank you for that word of wisdom!!! A fan of yours from my Medgar Evers years class of 96'.
Oh dear, raised my a narcissistic mother, whic I discover after 30...I've met quite a few narcs on my way, did years of therapy, learning and so on. I keep on attracting narcissistic men ( a lot less now though) , the only good outcome is that I unmask them very quickly and move as soon as. However, I still attract narcs on the dating scene.... I feel horrible to feel responsible when I have worked so hard to live narc free. :(
thank you ... my spirit came through to me last night while I was listening to one of your videos... thank you ase!
How do i respond to shame. I'm ashamed of myself for allowing myself to be put in a hurtful situation for which I never received an apology. It's hard still to this day to be around that person without feeling shame and anger. Idk what to do anymore.
I hope you can forgive yourself for allowing a blind spot, shortcoming, or an insecurity to lead you to be in a relationship you truly didn't want for yourself. Find peace and gratitude in knowing that you you are no longer in the situation and can learn from the experience.
Fnubee i think that's the problem. I haven't forgiven myself. I don't feel like I deserve to forgive myself because I should've been smarter. How do I push past that belief?
once I loved a man soooo much I would do almost anything for him. And he knew it. when I made love to him I would scream and moan like crazy. I would do anything for him in and out of bed. After five years he took things to the hilt. He came out with his other lovers and told me that I would no longer be his main woman and that he had no plans to marry me. Also told me that I would become one of his many women. I was devastated and hoped he would change his mind until I saw him cheating with my own eyes. I left him. I almost didn't make it. I thought he was my everything. I was ashamed of myself. he told me basically I was his personal hoe. well, I turned to God afterwards and learned to value my self. I am married now and have someone who truly appreciates and loves me. recently I was in a store and overheard another lady saying how she dated him for five years too and he dropped her after getting a better job that same night I heard her on his favorite radio station crying about how he left her and naming him. I pulled over my car and thanked God that I was no longer with him. he will do what he does but we women can chose something else.
sherry burton thank you. For some reason your comment really helped me close that door. Thank you
Dear Sherry,
You dated classic narcissist! They never get better by healing their childhood wounds because their pain is too great.
They live their lives in denial as they are unable to face reality & admit to yourself that anything is wrong with them & spend their lives hurting everybody in their path.
Well done for escaping for that is the only thing one can do. They are not capable of love or change or healing.
Thank you Ms Iyanla for confirming that I'm on the right track! Love these tips! God Bless You
Noone wants to be hurt or lied to! If your honest with a person you love then you expect it back. We definitely aren't responsible for other people selfishness or immaturity. I treat people how I want to be treated all the time. Smh
Thank you for these pearls of wisdom.
Love this sooooo much thank you for this really needed this healing and cleanse tonight. Thank you Ms. Iyanla ❤️
I love her! She’s my inspiration!
Thank you so much for your knowledge! Much love and blessings ❤️
This is incredible! Thanks a million, Iyanla!!
I realize deep down inside that I’m afraid of people getting to close, so I subconsciously choose men who are incapable. 😮
Damn, I’m doing it to myself. Ah ha moment.
yeeeeeeesssss Miss Iyanla. that one was for me.
Her struggles and her past have certainly changed my life! She is indeed being used by God! I got burned out with the traditional it's not changing lives it's to much power, control, and money! When God set me free over 7 years from allowing folk to low-key control me certainly through the church I had to maintain my freedom. I couldn't no longer do the justification of being "hurt" by the same people over and over again. It had become just to toxic for me, Iyanla is just 100% real with results to follow!
Amen! thank you thank you thank you!
Excellent work Sister Iyanla!
You are such an inspiration for woman. Thank you
Indeed we do have things to learn. I am in love with your videos. You got great vibes. Inspirational and informative things. Our minds make us wonder what happened. Thanks for your words.
Thank you Iyanla! Needed to hear this today!
It s true ! Our réaction when we are hurt by someone is only on our responsability !
I love this! Thank you Master Teacher Iyanla!
I really like your advice because is very hurt that you developed a good love but he did make up his mind for you. and he will not even tell you any thing. please dear thank you very much for your counseling.
Yes !!
I can relate to Greenleaf so much. me and my family watch it over here I'm London UK