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How To Make A Bully (From Scratch)
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- Опубліковано 22 чер 2014
- Bullying is one of the most misunderstood crises of our time. Bullies are created by a specific life-path we can reroute at any stage when we know the road signs to look for along the way. Are you ready to help transform both bullies and victims into contributing, connected members of society? Then take a walk down the life-path of both with Dr. Becky Bailey, a renowned developmental psychology and early childhood expert, and the founder of Conscious Discipline.
Become part of the bullying solution at www.ConsciousDiscipline.com
OFFICIAL SELECTION and JURY FAVORITE
of the 2015 Las Vegas International Lift-Off Film Festival
Stay-tuned for in-depth Intervention videos featuring renowned Author and Developmental Psychologist, Dr. Becky Bailey.
Written by Dr. Becky Bailey
Directed and Produced by Robert Hess
Co-Written by Julie Ruffo
Animated by Chris Martz
Music by Dave Holden and Andy Forsberg
Sound Design by Ana Cetina
Narrated by Dr. Becky Bailey
Voice Acting by Nicolas Seco Cetina (aka D2) and the Conscious Discipline Staff
Some parents create bullies from thier own children by allowing them to do whatever they please, bad or good, without ever disciplining and letting them get away with thier bad behavior. This not only spoils the child, it can also corrupt them.
It's the responsibility and moral obligation of everyone working with children to see and act on this incredibly valuable and transformational teaching. No child, especially those under five, should be turned away from any early childhood program for being too difficult to deal with. None of us should be responsible for giving up on a child.
Well said ❤ Still stands 8 years later. We all play a part and have to work together
Every parent and teacher must watch! Bullies and victims are cut from the same cloth. Their hurt is just expressed differently. Bullying is a relational issue. We can teach skills to create changes. There is a better way!
Is there a way to get this video translated into multiple languages? I'm willing to offer payment for licensing or refer to original creator just to make this visible and understandable to people in my country. Thank you!
I was undeniably a passive victim of bullying growing up. I had a lot of self esteem problems and actually did try to end my life. I got help with my problems and now I'm doing okay now. Which is good. I liked this video.
I'm still victim/passive
ninnybear1030 changed this year and now I’m just seriously against these kids
I cannot stop sharing this video with every single human being I know. I have friends who have children with challenging behaviors and I'm all "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaave you seen this?"
When the child is born to a broken marriage and raised by an abusive and alcoholic stepfather, it also makes for a vicious cycle where the child either grows to become a bully or a victim. The oldest of three boys, I became the passive, soft-spoken, accepting-of-anything victim. My two younger brothers were first bullied, and later became bullies themselves.
Nearly 50 years later, it still haunts me. I haven't yet figured out how to break the cycle or escape our upbringings. Our older society says "suck it up, I was abused and look how I turned out!" and our younger society says "you're triggering me! I'll cancel you." I don't think either answer really worked.
Are you able to talk to someone about this? Have self-compassion?
I have seen bullying, and I rarely see the type of bully this video describes. The bullying I see is to establish social pecking order. It is insidious and brutal. The kids are not damaged from the womb. They are encouraged by their environment to be bullied masquerading as leaders.
How did you come to this conclusion?
Having prenatal stressors to environmental stressors are one in the same. Take away when they said born with issues and put it to a kid who is bullied from the start. Like a Mom or Dad yelling at them because they are upset or express themselves poorly as toddlers. This then forms what is described in the video. However I can see your view at the beginning. Just switch the situation around.
I think it's telling that the video starts by dismissing things that most people would label as bullying as "just teasing". This isn't how most people would define bullying or teasing. To most people, teasing is reciprocal. It is understood that the receiving party is comfortable with it and they are happy to have a bit of back and forth banter with each other. Where it becomes bullying, is when the receiving party is made to feel bad and the person dishing it out is not interested in stopping.
How do you know they weren't damaged in the womb?
I am skeptical. It did not say where they got this research from. I do feel it is more complex than that. I have been to bullying workshops where a so called expert who studied the topic, say the opposite. She actually said that "do not feel sorry for a bully" Many of them come from families that are well to do, they feel a sense of entitlement and parents usually back them up when they should be say your behaviour needs to stop. So, I have heard the opposite. I have seen kids that are bullies from both sides, good families who always enable them and then families that neglect a bit and don't have enough time. I have seen kids that were not bullies or victims but were from families where the mom said they cried all the time and didn't fall inlove with their kids until age 10 and the kids are beautiful human beings and not screwed up to that extent at all!
My parents always gave me lots of love, but my dad has bullied my mom my entire life. I adopted my mom’s example of just giving in and trying to make others happy. It has lead to so many years of being abused by others because they can tell I’m weak. I’m a chronic victim now
How are you feeling now?
Brilliant! I will be sharing with my community... This topic lies at the heart of the challenges I often see in working with teenagers.
This is good and true as far as it goes, but it doesn't cover all the bases. There are other causes of both bullies and victims. For example, anyone who is "different" will often be singled out for victimization. The causes of "differentness" depend on the situation and are many. (I'd give examples but I wouldn't know where to stop.) (For example: Even being smarter than average can result in being bullied - and that would have nothing to do with the reasons described in the video.)
You have put what I have been trying to teach into a video that explains it all. I am so impressed and thankful.
I am taking a class where we use your text book conscious discipline building resilient classroom and I showed this video to my mom and she now understand that something that happen with my sister wasn't complete on her.
Very nice video. The way of representing the subject using animation is brilliant. I totally feel identified with this subject when I was growing up. There was so much bully in my school and I was passive victim at some point of some of my class mates. I also experienced seeing others classmates being bullied, and the teachers didn't manage the situation at all. I felt anxious, impotent, anger and many times worthless. I really don't have good memories about my my middle school years at all.
Watched this over an over since my first conscience discipline training and it hits hard
Holy shit this video is actually informative and makes sense.
God bless all the souls on here with any sympathy
Thank you so much for posting this. It helped me have a clearer understanding of my situation having been a chronic victim in school. I think a major problem is they put bullies and victims together in special ed, they should be seperated.
I also can relate to the addictiveness of violence as a teen, but I was fortunate enough to be able to use violent video games as an outlet for them. I mean fighting games that were from the 90s, I think the fighting games now look far too realistic for me to be comfortable with. I didn't want to hurt actual people. I also feel fighting games gave me a sense of power I felt I had less of because I was female, the female fighters from Mortal Kombat could really do some serious damage!
I think another issue related to this should be touched upon is what if a student's teacher is their bully? That's a really difficult situation to deal with, because the school heiarchy many times believe the teacher over their students.
I am none of these kids, I never get bullied, I do not bully, I am very calm, loving, grateful, and I stand up for myself when I get bullied but it never happens. I am a great kid
I don't think you're a kid at all.
What a great video to unfold the complexity of this topic ...thank you so much for taking the time to put this together in such a comprehensible manner!
I have a birthmark where whenever I get stressed it HURTS SO MUCH IT FEELS LIKE YOUR HITTING A PIECE OF WOOD IT HURTES and I HATE working in groups unless it's with my 2 friends but 1 moved away and she's never coming back and everyone says I get angry very fast
Bullying are created by a specific life -path. Kids are not born being bullies.We need to be able to understand why some children are bullies as they grow older.
I've had great success using Conscious Discipline principles as a teacher and have found it to be a comprehensive program that helps me emotionally heal as an adult to help my students feel loved and cared for. I really love Dr. Bailey's messages but I do want to point out a concern that I have about this video that I hope will be addressed. Early on, there is an example of President Obama sharing his experience about being bullied where the narrator invalidates his claim. I don't understand why this example of the president was used and what the purpose of invalidating his experience was since it did not help support the central message of this video. I actually feel that it was a contradiction of what Conscious Discipline strives to communicate. It was hurtful rather than being helpful. There is no way for the narrator to have been able to correctly judge whether what the president experienced could actually be classified as bullying or not. I know that many children and adults who are chronic victims in our society have often had their experiences invalidated and many times these individuals tend to be overrepresented as women, LGBTQ+ individuals and/or BIPOC. The representation of the president and the invalidation of his experiences is both pointless and indirectly racist. I know that this was not the intention of the content but I do hope that this could be addressed.
This brakes down as soon as it starts you can do what ever you like it's not going to stop and trying to help a victim is like trying to make a rock bleed it can't happen or trying to make a bully stop its impossible I know because I'm on both sides of the fence.
This is BRILLIANT! My heart is pounding. I am so excited to see the research is being done and THERE IS HOPE!!!
Me, too!!!
Tuano Tihane - In what specific ways are you finding fault with the findings expressed in the above video?
@Tauno Tihane "done research".....lulz
@Tauno Tihane after reading Intellectuals And Society by Thomas Sowell I would never describe myself as an intellectual but I do use rationale above emotion. There are flaws in the scientific method such as bias funding and fear. But mostly it does take hypothesis to theory to facts. I am not emotional at all about the subject in the video. Just seeing what this lady has to say considering conscious discipline is the method that the preschool is using that I'm fixing to put my child into.
Thanks for being my new friend.
@Tauno Tihane I got a laugh out of it. And the fact that you responded is even more hilarious. And now we are friends
This might live up to its title and show how to make (one kind of) a bully, but that is only one path to bullydom. The video also presumes a lot about moms reacting stupidly because they can't fall in love with a crying baby. It never says ANYTHING about the baby reacting to a wound-up mother- which is a very common problem. Parents have to teach themselves to chill, relax, and prioritize. I've seen some bullies being made by schedule-driven mothers!
+Laurel Thomas Our relationship blueprint, for life, is developed during the first three years of life. Our attachment history with our primary caregiver(s) impacts us - always. A Secure Attachment history may result in a person who can enjoy interdependence. There is a healthy balance between "We" and "I." Anxious and Avoidant Attachments may result in various forms of power-over and power-under behaviors which is version of the bully/victim dynamic. There is also Disorganized Attachment. Disorganized adults show many antisocial behaviors and lack empathy and remorse. It is a very extreme nature that usually reflects a history of abuse, neglect, or severe loss.
We agree, it is helpful for parents to become aware of their feelings and brain states so that they may self-regulate and be available to coach their kids. It is a journey that most of us are on and we all travel at different rates. We develop these videos to help create awareness so that more people choose the journey for a better way. We wish everyone well.
+Conscious Discipline What if the disorganised adult is the father, and not the primary caregiver. There is no exploration of the impact of a domestic violence dynamic where there is a disorganised non-primary caregiver.
+Laurel Thomas Not only that but this video totally exists that psychopaths and sadists exists on this planet. They don't realize that these things are in genes.
Some people are simply born as monsters.
AMEN!!!!!!!!! @sophia Molly Moore
Including people with hereditary Narcissistic Personality Disorder. @ Tespri
where's the citation on any of this? where did these studies come from? how big was the test group?
It's a theory that cannot be proven nor disproved. But if someone gains insight and is motivated to change from it, does the lack of science matter
R Chip i just don't like the presentation. it uses concept like brain chemistry then doesn't say where it got these exact situations from.
R Chip that's not what a scientific theory is. Test out the theory of gravity and get back to me. Please review what a scientific theory means.
Hmm well the field of neuroscience is expanding exponentially. There are many places to find information about the emotional and learning centers of the brain. Here's another nice video - no citations, but could give you some nice leads into discovering some of the research first hand you are highly interested. It's based on Dr. Dan Siegel's work, which you might enjoy exploring.
ua-cam.com/video/3bKuoH8CkFc/v-deo.html
Asking for citations about structures in the brain and their function is kind of like asking, "Yeah, but show me a citation about how my tongue moves to make language!" This understanding is the result of many fields of scientific investigation coming together to create one understanding, so you might want to look into schools that offer classes in neuroscience to get the real juicy information about it.
I agree with you on this point a bit, however, because with this video Dr. Bailey basically is asserting that at the origin of all bullying behavior is prenatal stressors, which isn't necessarily always the case, and it would be nice to have some citations or references to be able to explore this phenomenon in more depth. So thanks for taking a critical eye!!
Good luck!!
fairy pants, Provide citation that your requested information is necessary for this type of presentation.
It is clearly a summary of the conclusion reached by renowned Author and Developmental Psychologist, Dr. Becky Bailey. Copied from above.
I'm in 6th grade and a few people call me a bully just because I'm big I'm nice to people that are nice too me I get bullied and when u do stuff about it I'm the one who gets in trouble
Lots of tunnel vision here. There are things like basic brain chemistry here that can be a cause. No matter how much you love and care for someone with say, frontal lobe damage, or an injury involving the amigdila, or someone born with fucked up brain chemistry.
What about those who learned that screaming, hitting and bad behavior makes mommy and daddy give them what they want.
Or those who engage in such behavior, and are protected by their parents who deny that their kids would do that. I've seen kids as young as three screaming expletives at their parents because they want an ice cream. I've heard a story about a kid kicking my disabled friend, and when she told him not to the mother told her to "not tell her child what to do". So there are many ways to make a bully, not just what is listed here.
+Rosalie Kitchen Yep, they ignored genetics totally. They don't understand what psychopaths and sadists are. Only language those bullies understand is strength. Ironically best and most efficient way to fight against bully... Is simply start defending yourself, show them in action that actions have consequences and sometimes they fuck with the wrong person.
Write to Becky Bailey and ask for more information.
Tespri there are also kids who are treated like they are the most important thing in the world, every whim catered too and led to believe the world revolves around them. And this doesn't adress the extent popular girls will go to knock down a rival. It doesn't take one sad abused kid to shun someone. That takes everyone. Not to mention bullying is seen in the animal kingdom. In female social animals there are often behaviors that are remarkably like the sort of bullying that female humans also engage in. It is a form of sexual competition.
🙃
Conscious disciplining when you study indepthly they do talk about brain chemistry and behavior. This is not a tunnel vission so do speak topic.
Gaslighting ~ A form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents or deception ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
This psychology term is derived from Patrick Hamilton's 1938 play Gaslight, about a woman whose husband slowly manipulates her into believing that she is going insane.
Ignoring bullies & victims only makes things much worse, & leads to school shootings like the ones that have been happening more & more often. It`s not guns that are the problem, it`s attitudes.
And my mom is very kind and never is angry, mad, stressed, lazy, mean, or evil she is kind, nice, grateful, loving, caring, and is always happy when I am with her even though we are literary awalys together and never apart and I love that too and grateful to have the best mom in the world and she loves it when I am with her and is also grateful to have the best daughter in the world
I think my soul is crying.
This is just one possible path.
Interesting, although I'm not so sure it applies to every bully. Some people simply enjoy the thrill of controlling others. People are generally compliant with the instructions of those older than them, thus the 'bully' will target and test those people. The more they get away with it, the more confident they become in their 'power'. Think of the tailgaters. This will often intimidate the person being tailgated into either speeding up or moving out of the way. Conflate this with when this type of person finds themselves in positions of power. Imagine a situation someone is walking their dog off leash but there is a sign that says the dog must be on a leash. The Bully now has a high ground as they demand "Put your dog on a leash". It's not the bully that needs help, it's the potential victims (ie all of us) who need to know the strategies to identify and ultimately shine a light on these people and their behavior. Nobody likes having their secrets exposed. Not to others, and especially not to themselves.
Is it that hard to discipline children anymore? If they say "I don't care", call the kid's bluff...gonna say you take away something? Do it, gonna make them stay in their room? Do it.
If you don't follow through, you're just being an enabler and you shouldn't have children.
At min 2.00 it says ”these children are hard to soothe”.
This situation is not a punishment from heaven, has been ”given” with a reason.
And the key is in mom,s posession, not at the child at this age.
Starting from this point of view everything changes.
The child is not dealing with a internal mallfunction, the child is SIGNALING, pointing a situation that comes from the mother and he feels this as a discomfort.
The situation is - that the mother has problems in dealing with her own emotions.
She does not ”know” how to identify and then release her so called ”negative” emotions.
She is driven by the child,s screams and loud cry and she can not receive it calmly because her own emotions are blocked (for long time).
The child senses mother, s panic and he reacts to it even more...which drives the mother more crazy.
The atitude of acceptance can not be faked intelectually, a parent who does not know how to deal with its own emotions, how to release them, can not face a crises situation.
A parent who is deepen into the thinking mind, is not living in the present moment, and the child feels that as an ABSCENCE...he feels that his mom is not there, is somewhere caught in her own thoughts.
The connection is interrupted by the thinking mind.
as a mother whos child is being bullied just within the last 3 months she had none of these traits
I enjoyed watching this and this gave me some good insight. However, this doesn't address the chronic victims who did not start off being excluded, nor those who learn bullying behaviors or take them on due to a sense of belonging vs outsiders.
My sister was very agreeable as a baby, and was only disagreeable when it came to me having to babysit her, yet she has been bullied physically and mentally at school. What do you do when the child who is the chronic victim is bullied by a group or several groups simply because their interests differ? When the child comes home crying? I'm not saying your study was incorrect, but I feel as though bullying is more complex than 'they were bullied/something is wrong in their brain' I feel in some cases exclusionary messures are needed because the victim is the only one being excluded.
Are there studies to show this early 0-5 development? The behavior is congruent to my experience but empirical studies and links would be SUPER HELPFUL. Actually, necessary. Would you link them? Thank you
Check out their website
This is a wonderful program!
I don't wanna be a bully when I'm in middle school i wanna have a lot of friends
well how is it know even tho ur in like fresh men now?
The principal doesn't do anything!
showing this to all my teachers!!!
we'll at least their not going the easy route and blaming guns for everything, the mental health issue in America is atrocious glad people seem to finally be waking up to what seems to be the real problem.
Where can you do a turn?
Great basic understanding of bullying. Thanks so much for your effort, money and work in putting this video together. Look forward to seeing more.
Ojalá pudieran subirlo también en español! O con su títulos en español para poder trabajarlo en las escuelas
This video is vastly oversimplified. There are many factors that go into creating who we are. If this video interest you please do some research in child psychology.
Podrían subirlo en castellano por favor. Gracias! 🙏🏻
Such a good video and an eye-opener
that is a lot the children in those states are victims to the world. We must try to help them at a young age to feel so self-worth.
my story was, actually im a happy person get easily laugh, im not cryish, when i was kindergarten, im very crazy i cry when my mother leaves me at school, at starting the elementary journey from grade 1-2 im still happy but never cry anymore, but that gonna end, at grade 3 elementary level im actually on public school, almost all the boys are bullies, i was punch in the face, i realize this is enought, i get tougher and tougher until i beat some guys and throw some chairs punch the bellies, till i got some bully friends like a gang, it changes alot! i broke my brother! i tease my brother with my olders brothers, i still not gonna end, i 100% succesfully beat up some bullies who bullied me on grade 2, im begging money with my bully friends for some whimp kids in the classroom, at grade 4 im still also a bully tease some classmates making somuch fun in it trolling...... till in grade 5 i bully some of other sections for months till the day we are 1on 1 at the back of the school ground i was punch in the face hard but i miss lol it was just 1 round for me its a weird karma and the fight end because someone report us but gladly we are not going to the office, grade 6 im not a bully anymore, im rather a tease or just make some fun to other classmates but still hurt and somhowe cry but i still have a friend bullies, till i graduate and procceed to highschool im slowly turning into a whimp, nerd, trashbag, im i still tease but dont hurt much, but thanks no one bully me so far, but on2year i was bullied by a small kid keep on trolling or even other people throwing trash or even black board eraser through my face! i also throw him, on the 3year so far lol no bullies, that bully in 2ndyear was horrible got low grades lol! until now my life is fine but i quite having some anxiety now! yep trouble making many friends or even a girlfriend
Love this video- I would only say the mom part may not have been the best or most honest portrayal. It doesn't happens like that ALL of the time.
Bullying is a relationship issue that begins at birth. Birth - three years old is when everyone's relationship blueprints are created for life. With conscious awareness and self-discipline, we can make different choices. Dr. Bailey shows the five signs that are critical to bully prevention in The Secret of Bullying: 5 Signs We Can't Afford to Miss video, while her Critical Interventions videos demonstrate specific interventions that halt the bully-making process starting at age three. These videos present high-level information in a way that is understandable and useful for parents, educators and those seeking answers to today’s growing bullying problem.
With much attention being given to Bully Prevention in the media, there has been increased coverage of a multitude of anti-bullying programs and campaigns. Research shows that bullying actually worsens at schools where these programs are implemented (Jeong & Lee, 2013). Research about our hierarchical social brain provides substantial evidence for why so many of these programs are doomed to fail, and why Conscious Discipline continues to experience dramatic and measurable success.
In a recent study of nearly 1,400 students, Conscious Discipline produced “significant positive results for the quality of student-teacher interactions, improvement in social and emotional behavior skills for teachers and students, student academic preparedness, and overall school climate (Rain, 2014).” These results indicate that Conscious Discipline decreases bullying in schools, not only between students, but also between employees (Bailey, 2014).
For the hundreds of thousands of individuals who experience bullying each year, Conscious Discipline is a ray of hope in a sea of ailing programs.
Thanks for the copy and paste answer... I was simply pointing out that sometimes a father or other full time care giver may be the person causing issues. Failing to state that in the video is kind of crappy (and I do love the video). My son has autism, and is often bullied. I didn't have a difficult relationship with him, we were as close as close could be. He and I against the world sort of thing. His father, however, was as portrayed in the video. I take issue with it not being mentioned that a mother or OTHER caregiver could be part of this cycle beginning. So many moms of children with Autism are already blaming themselves for their children's autism... They don't need to be shamed into thinking it was necessarily their fault that their child is also being endlessly bullied for being "different" and socially awkward. Many times a father or care giver is less patient with a difficult child than is a mother. I was just trying to point out something I thought was unfair and would bias a lot of people against mothers.
jillian camacho the fact that you take issue with the mother as the primary caregiver being portrayed as contributing to the trauma shows that you did not really hear what she was saying. You are blaming the father. Mothers carry the children, and we are the primary caregivers from conception until he/she starts school. Even if dad is present or not. You are being defensive for a reason. Dr. Bailey isn’t vilifying mothers. She’s simply pointing out the facts. As mothers, we do the best we can. But when we lack the skills and understanding to be all we can be for our children, there is trauma. So, you say your child has autism. Were you an expert on how to raise an autistic child when your child was first born? That is all she is saying. I have no doubt you love him and did your best. But you had to have been deficient in some areas unless you were already a trained expert in autism. We’re you a saint the whole time raising him? We’re you always calm and understanding? The obvious animosity your bear for your child’s father is evident in your writing. Which means, your child either heard you speak negative of his father, witnessed arguments, and/or could feel the tension. If so, this was a traumatic experience for your child. Are you saying your child is a bully or a victim? Why did this video trigger such an emotional response in you? Watch some of her other videos and examine yourself. You described a relationship with your son that can be equally unhealthy. You may have been too nurturing and not let him mature in the right way due to overprotection. Or maybe took his side in everything even if he was wrong. You said it was you and him against the world. If you watch some of her other videos, you will see what I’m referring to. You have anger and trauma of your own. I can see it in your response to Dr. Bailey. We all are deficient of certain skills until we learn to do better. We do the best we can with what we know. You don’t have to yell at a child to traumatize him. If you can take a deep breath and examine your relationship in full context, get to know yourself, and watch some more of her videos, you might see where she is coming from. I wish you well. Peaceful regards. 🤗🤗🤗💯💯💯💕💕💕
Thanks for this information
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
Really what reserch?you cant just say theres reserch when you have no evedence
This video is about my life.
this was very good information to iobtain
I am the passive one as I have a very cool temper
I am both, I keep switching from mean to enjoy hurting others, and then become lazy and sulk of what I’ve done.
how do i stop.
There are a lot of comments questioning the research behind this video. I don’t know if this will satisfy everyone’s quest for knowledge but I did locate a page of research references here -
consciousdiscipline.s3.amazonaws.com/Videos/Making%20a%20Bully%20Video%20Research.pdf
RIP kids in Serbia
uNBELIEVABE! Thank you for opening my eyes.
I watch her videos for work parts of it I like other parts want make me want to scream at her and call her stupid because I was a child born from a stressful pregnancy my little sister was born from a stressful pregnancy neither one of us ever became a bully I do not believe that just because you have a stressful pregnancy you're going to have a bad kid I do not believe that kids are born one way or the other that is just ridiculous what I do believe is that some kids aren't given the help they need and that is why they are the way they are. my nephew is a hard kid to handle at times. his mom was 15 when she had him and instantly went to new guy who's extremely abusive gave him Alcohol and Other Drugs to put him to sleep as a baby and from this he has anger issues not because he was born of a stressful situation not because he was born with a teenage mom but because he was put in to an abusive relationship with somebody who was abusive to him and he wasn't given the help he needed but now at 13 years old he still has raging moments but he has learned to calm himself down because we have taught him words to use and we have given him the help he needs. If more people paid attention to kids and found the help they need not the hell that we want to give them then I believe the world would be happier. My sister did leave that guy and now has two other kids, she denies everything that that guy did but my nephew is safe from him just in case anybody cared.
Where's your citations and sources?
It this be animated, But...It might not be trustworthy.
Visit the website ConsciousDiscipline.com
im just a fatal bully fromgrade 3-6 only but now im gr 11 i think my nerd right now
Can I ask you something? It's a long story. Does it make me and my friends bully's if one of my friends has a big fall out with her friend and her friend spread a secret about her so there friends had a fight then a few month later we all fell out with her for different reasons but we fell out with her friends as well , so one of her friends let's call her jade , she lied about something serious so we all went over to her and started arguing then she ended up coming to us after ,shouting at us then said to our other lad friends that we were scared and the first girl let's call Charlie she called my friend fat so we went back over to them shouting. When we got home we all made a group chat with them and I started really shouting at them and arguing but jade screenshot it all and handed them in to school be when we got back to school we were friends with Charlie again and it turns out our head of year got the argument on camera so me and the person that got called fat(Abi) had been taken in to write a statement but whilst the teach thought he was doing a good job little did he know there was another argument between my friend (grace) who was the one who fell out with jade in the first place , her boyfriend and this other girl none of us like and she had a fight with my friend also her ex best friend, but she sent a nude to graces boyfriend but grace found out and started sharing the photo to a girl group and by the end of the day everyone new about it so we all shouted at her but graces boyfriend got stuff thrown at him and was already having a bad day so the teacher asked to talk to him after knowing what happend with the first argument managed to get him to explain everything so I then got called back to write another statement then 2 days after jade had a fight with grace so the teaches found out and they said jade isn't getting punished because she doesn't have any friends to back her (bare in mind she started it when we wasn't there and hit a teacher) so we all got called for a meeting apparat from the ones that was actually involved in all the arguments he just called my friend group in form to see him and said we was the ones who stated the fight so he explained what was going on and that he's keeping an eye on us all and if we do it again we all get isolated so he then went on to say we're his favourite students but he was disappointed and that we all have problems that start it but he basically called us bullies is that right or not?
What about chronic victims no one gonna talk about them??
Very interesting!
Hello. Is there a way to get all the caption of this video please??
I like the American voice
I chose bully!
I don't think it's appropriate to state "he wasn't bullied, he was probably teased" which discounts a person's lived experience and what they are telling you.
I agree. That is the only part of this video that I don't like, I wish they would change it.
It was a little arrogant and off-putting, which is jarring and incongruent with the rest of the video. The video raises the concern of dismissive educators and exclusionary tactics, but guilty of the same behavior it accuses educators of. What qualifiers are there to immediately discerning Teasing from Bullying based on a passing statement and soundbite?
The ability to make snap judgments sounds like a useful skill for an educator or educational services company.
6 minutes in and I have to stop watching. Some small bit of this makes some sense and some of it is complete bullshit.
You are saying right off that teasing isn't bullying. IT IS!
Friends tease, lightheartedly, when you've known them for a while and they know boundaries and where not to push to go from lighthearted to malicious.
Calling someone names for having big ears is not just teasing. It's just the start.
I was bullied for a lot of things, avoided like I was invisible the rest of the time. My isolation grew out of bullying and avoidance, not by the teachers who either ignored it or wanted to help but by those my own age who either bullied or stood there and watched and did nothing.
I didn't ignore it or remain silent either. I got someone kicked out of school for repeatedly bullying me!
I never felt like I deserved it. You just try asking anyone here who was bullied if they felt like they deserved it as you said in this, you might get a few, but you'll get a lot of angry people who sure as hell didn't think they deserved it and some who probably didn't even know why they were targeted in the first place!
I wasn't a crying, hard to sooth child. I had a happy childhood outside of the later elementary school years, my mother rarely had to punish me for anything or yelled at me to shut up and I had friends outside of school (sadly most didn't go to my school so i didn't have anyone in school to back me up). I also wasn't one to just give up!
Bullying can come from so many places, not just because baby wouldn't stop crying so mom yelled at it. *rolls eyes*
Not bothering with the other 4 minutes. Wasted too much of my time on this already.
Not
awesome insight. but- love vs. in love?
i dont agree that this is the issue.
i think the mothers and fathers who threaten consantly, or threaten ever, only love themselves. the evidence is clearly that the child victims have never seen love.
selfishness is the crime: the sickness that creates these troubled children. how's about a campaign to battle That? like,oh, maybe.... making it a felony to threaten your children?
i tell parents... just do what your going to do, never threaten anyone, ever: its a public display of your own selfish impotence: and even the children you threaten pick up on it. be given to teach, without violence, without a raised voice, without crossed eyebrows, with intelligence, compassion, empathy, and direction.
dont be a dick. . smiley face.
The way this woman explains things is as disturbing as what she is talking about. It is so sad to here kids are still getting bullied in such a technologically advance civilization. 🤦♂️
The video was very well produced invoking emotional reactions but the truth is its generalizing the bully and to pick up only a few signs which may be another type of mental illness... I don't like the video.
I've stopped listening after 50 secs. Where on earth did you get this fantasy? There is not a single external factor that turns a child into a bully. Bullying is a result of psychological development of the brain. Becoming a bully after being bullied is absolute nonsens. So many bullied children never have became a bully. Do your homework!
The presenter calls it "trauma in the womb." That is code for "the mother was an addict and used during pregnancy."
ah dont keer
That voice over lady needed a glass of water. Maybe less smoking or caffeine before work? Couldn't listen with all the clicking.
Whose fault is this then? It all begins with prenatal stressors?
I'm a bully
Do you think I will stop being a bully ha no I love being a bully
I believe the video is medically accurate for the most part. However, you missed a giant faction of Americans. Let's see, geesh! So, there's obviously differences in types of bullies(ing) & victims, etc. I'm stating the obvious, but you left out the obvious. You've decided that it's called "teasing," & that there's a vast difference. You have described ONLY a worst case scenario for the making of YOUR bully, the altering of human brain functions due to years of received, applied, generated & administered abuse. Good for you. I think? Yet, u neglect any worstcase scenarios for a VICTIM. Hey Y'all, unwelcome TEASING is also bullying. PERIOD. End of story. Obama was bullied. Fast facts for understanding-simply look at any commenter on any site. An entire spectrum of bully is right here. It's rampant & probably pretty exciting for a new or an old bully. Even those who had fantastical womb/uterine upbringings! The anonymous cyber-bully is not beholden to ur theory. Nor is any other.
this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.