What Is Self Hate?
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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Teal Swan is a bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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This is spot on. My mother was actually disgusted with my sensitivity and completely reject my emotions. At 52, my major issue is self esteem and self love issues. Imagine that!
My mother has the same thing as you. Her parents weren't kind towards her empathetic nature. It's sad because she always lived to please them when she's a wonderful person just as she is. Sometimes emotional expression and recognition equates to greater strength than repressing or denying one's emotions.
100% I'm 52 , no self esteem, no self love, learning I've been "special" my entire life. Trying to understand & make sense at this age is hardest thing I've ever done.
I suffer the same. keep going. It's the only thing truly worthy fighting for now. x
i went through this - and now - my wife as cruel as human can be - very agressive and angry, imagine this, like when u a child and dont want to go home. so here i am 40 yo - i dont want to go home. and most crazy thing - she will never undestand it....i havent been home for 1 week. i dont have the side girl or smthng.....i just have enough.
U don't have to open up to someone who denies this side of you. Just do so with people who accepts that side of you.
this is super accurate with my upbringing. i used to cry and have headaches over small moments when i was a kid because i feel overwhelmed. no one really payed attention to it that much, except for a few teachers. i grew up hating myself, and undoing that is a little hard. but now, i'm doing a bit better with my own emotions all in all to spirituality
I came to hate myself to a place where I couldn't see one good thing in me. This helps me to see how that grew . Thsnks for the work you do, that benefits others.
Teal is the only one which I heard this message... explained clearly like this. I am almost 40 and feel lost, had to parentify my family around, all I knew as a child was freezing or fawning. Exactly as described feeling hate and pain, having no one to tell this who could listen and understand (even therapists) it's beyond tough. Everytime I learn something new and find messages like Teal's gives me hope, I feel validated, I know there's more people suffering and more knowledge to acquire. But it's always tough.
Okay, but why the F*CK ARE WE SO F*CKING SENSETIVE, FRAGILE AND TOTALLY NOT MADE FOR THIS LIFE??????
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes and what to do about it! I am so tired of understanding the situation and why I am the way I am or feel BUT if it doesn't change? Then what's next? I used to believe in healing.
Strengthen and sharpen these parts of yourself. Mind. Body. And soul.
Thank you so much for sharing this knowledge. I now know myself a little better and why I feel the way I feel some things. You're a great teacher. You have my gratitude.
I am the youngest of 10 siblings. It only took the positive influence of one out of 6 brothers to have an impact on my self-awareness that helped me realize my potential and self-respect. And even then, it still took 30 years to realize and work through my pain and miseries.
To thank you a thousand times wouldn't be enough, keep BLESS Lady 🙏🏽✊🏽❤️
Thank u teal for ur beautiful words
Damn that really sounds like me... I'm literally a doormat for anyone and I don't think I'll worth anything to others.
Spot on!
Beautifully presented your wordsmiths gift is astound. I have been following since 2016 and am so proud of how far you've become 🎆✨🎉🎊
That pain makes me feel
This was an interesting perspective you refected,the process in:
Uncertainty and doubt has always been a difficult process to over come l must admit in coming through into clearing.
well received,Take care G.K
Wow, you just described my entire life in a nutshell......
Thank you
This explains so much
40 years. Still hating myself. Had been a pushover in my childhood and became a pushover and people pleaser in my adulthood. Hate my life.
In toxic family dynamics we have to adapt TO THE PARENTS EXPECTATION when in a healthy dynamic the parents are supposed to adapt to the needs of the child.
it hurts the Brain, nervous system..all of it..sometimes hate is not pain but some toxins in the body
w.o.w. i wish i knew a psychologist near me that was this informative
Okkkeyy… so how does one heal from this?
Nailed it
She just described me
I was ignored..i was paid to go away i was paid to behave. Never felt loved ever.
HELL 🔥 YEAH!
Ouch! ….OUCH! 🫣My therapist wrote a bunch of words on a pad. Thru a process of elimination the one left was ‘Self-hate’. And that was my first intro to the problem😱
My parents did this to us, then I did it to myself by denying that I was Trans. I felt like I was catfishing the entire world before it finally accepted myself.
Very interesting... .
Yes
Auch that hurts
Nagato: ah, yes, you seem to understand something of my PAIN
Why am I crying... like LITERALLY. I have a good life... but I hate myself. I hate my childhood. I hate crying. I I .... I hate myself.
So many people do this just to fit into to this monoculture mundane society including me i must admit. Makes me wonder what's the purpose of all this existence. Do you pursue your true nature or continue to play nice in order to be around people and pay your bills....
You are so attractive to me than I lose my focus on what you are saying😁
This is me to a T and I have deep self hatred now. How is it healed?
Eves bear cubs get batted away by mama bear once in awhile...lol. you're next level. I like some of your ideas tho. But u take it to the limit
Ooooooo this is why people self harm??
There is so much power in silence! This womens mouth runs her...a
oh you adviser of the lost and confused ,
"Underneath ALL hate is actually pain"
Daym that hits home, hard!..
Soo speechless 💔
No wonder I always end up crying when I'm angry
Inner child wounds. Arrested development
I.kmow
Thank you, I had these issues as a very sensitive child and I don't know if I went into self hate but I did become a people pleaser in order to gain positive attention which was very devastating for several reasons but thankfully I've learned how to reprogram my mind, heal "incurable" diseases etc. because it's all of the mind.
It starts before you even learn to speak
Please share your secrets. I'm going through it right now and I want to heal. Thank you in advance
👌🏻👌🏻
@@jhovanamendivil9984 I used mind over matter and reprogramming techniques and I made the reality of perfect health and comfort more real in my mind than the physical torture.. there were steps and it took 3 years of daily work before I could throw the meds away for good. I do have videos and more information on my channel but that’s the gist of it.
@@BarbaraMerryGeng Yes indeed
I started crying. I often times tell my boyfriend "it feels like there's two different versions of myself in my head" One that loves myself and one that hates myself.
Feel same. Just i have even more of them what makes it even more crazy
Defragmentation. Splitting of self.
I've always felt this too. A part wants to heal, be healthy, trust, hope, etc. but a bigger part doesn't believe it's possible and just foolish as this is my fate. Self punishment and blame has always been easy, but learning reality has provided the space and ability for self compassion.
I'd suggest watching teal's video on self-hatred as a coping mechanism.
SAME
Same here one moment I'm enjoying my self, the next I'm hurting my self..😢
this literally described me perfectly. i’m naturally someone who is sensitive emotionally, and i’ve been told in my childhood and later on in life to not be so sensitive, and so it creates a lot of self hatred and pain from me feeling like being sensitive is a bad thing
I so relate to this comment. It sucks being rejected for being sensitive.
@@octopodiatrist fr. hopefully things turn out well for us both
Our sensitivity made them uncomfortable. It was about their fear, more than anything else. Sensitivity is a beautiful thing as it can help us heal at a deeper level and be more intimate with our own inner children 💖
Sucks, but this is where roles really helped in the past if you think about it. Sensitive women got to be in the environment of nurturing their children. Their sensitivity was put to good use, a non sensitive man would not be as good for that role. Now women are being pushed/compelled to work where it's not as useful but certainly is good for social work/therapy. Trying to be something your not is painful, each has a role to fill. Not that they have to, but generally it produces more optimal outcomes(less pain) for everyone involved if people stick to their roles.
My "over sensitivity" was pointed out, rejected and constantly mocked by my family. Which is really difficult when you consider that when we their emotions where too much for them to handle, I turned into the family therapist for as long as it was needed and then immediately put back into the realm of "she's just SO MUCH".... This eventually caused me to push all those "overly sensitive emotions" down to the point that at the age of 21 I had a stress induced ulcer! You can only lock away so much of yourself for so long before yourself does something about it. I've also been told that I'm an "empath" by a ton of ppl but as I've recently learned from this nice lady, that's just another symptom of my tumultuous and turbulent upbringing. Boy, they REALLY did a number on me!! I was the youngest too, not like I think it should have been done to either of my siblings.... I'll never understand it.
Thank you for sharing your experience and clarity🖤
Being a Wounded Empath is the hardest thing to navigate. At 61 I finally get it. Read about the Body's Natural Alignment as in Shakras. Meditate and Iearn tools to protect yourself from Negative Energies ❤
Perhaps changing the perspective from hating self to hating the situation you're in can be helpful. It's not really you who you hate it's a hurt or traumatized version of yourself or an aspect of self that you feel is inferior or not worthy. This can change and you can become healthier, more capable, whatever the case is. Instead of identifying with your challenges or problems (not you), identify as someone who will overcome those challenges or problems (you). Or identify as the person you were before you had the problem/challenge because that's who you actually are and you can get back there again. Once you heal into a healthier state of being and get to know your true, more accurate self, there is no reason for self-hate. That was my experience.
Agree 💯 aversion to a situation can easily be interpreted as hate. Sometimes towards other's, sometimes inwards.
I experienced a clear realization and understanding where it made so much sense for me (an AHA moment). I’m grateful for this comment,thank you
@@breyamoi8528 That's awesome! I'm so glad it could be helpful to you. Thank you for your comment as well. Take care. 🙏🧡
So helpful. Thank you 🙏🏼 I agree with the two other people commenting
@@g.s.632 I'm glad, GS, it's great to know.
I'm 59 with 26yrs sober and have had years of therapy. I'm tired of thinking about and giving power to the people who have hurt me in the past. I'm tired of giving power to my pain from past traumas. I've decided to work on my self esteem and look forward to the rest of my life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working on my past.
Thank you, Teal. You are so articulate, so lovely. This one hit me dead on. The splitting ( this is the same verbiage I used talking of myself) started for me at the tender age of 3. I love listening to you, you've helped me more than 20 yrs of therapy! I've undertaken the meditation and shadow work to bring all my splits back together, loving, accepting each and every one of them. Thank you.
This makes me feel heard. I never understood why I felt so split. Especially when I started to let more people into my life, I split myself even more. And another group of people in, splitting myself again. Huh.
I see that! Now I find that I can split myself more, but not necessarily in any manner of a healthy way. Going to have to think way more about this.
I relate
Do you have any advice for someone who's become a people pleaser, possibly due to being pushed away as an 'over-emotional child' and can't get out of that habit/ don't know if they want to because it's basically their whole personality at this point and they arent motivated or sure that they want to achieve any certain goal or do anything specific in their life so they have no drive to change or break free from such toxic relationships?...asking for a friend.
Teal, it's taken years to accept saying I'm in pain. And that's it's ok say I'm in pain.
I can say today I'm in pain. I can friend my pain. I can change my relationship with pain.
I'm ok with how hate is related to fear and pain. Hate is a trauma bond of reparenting, hugging by applying agape, then retooling, reschooling my sadness. I can grow beyond melancholic ... I told my doctor's I don't care about suffering anymore I just give up trying to feel better. I reparent such a bad attitude big time. Thank u for countless and consistent daily content. Love, support, gratitude to Teal and your community. I am trying to get myself good enough to be the kind of person that doesn't talk about sadness but they do comments of uplifting affirmations uplifting quotes, soul progression ideas, but I'm in too much physical pain. They brought me into the world just to abuse. I wish I could pass on because my health outcomes and quality of life are of the dying kind. I'm sorry I'm a burden and a cost to the system. I started out working and fighting to work, earn, earn my life, I'm 41 and depleted.
I'm so sorry I failed my peers failed my country failed my world I do agape care for. I'm a failed artist. I'm so sorry I'm shelved.
I wish I never met my family. I'm dreading the idea that they would claim my body when I'm dead. It's so unfair. I am drafting a family constitution that will overhaul what mom and dad think and are funeral plans.
I accepted I'm mad at my outcomes. I'm sorry I failed at life so i take those hurt, painful traits and let reparenting, acceptance, wash over me. I'm sorry Teal for the lack of emotional sobriety. My astigmatism was fixed. Everything looks different. I can reparent myself and friend the tough times, take a notebook and learn. I wish my parents were well they are deceased that attachment is changed today the grief is hugged and surpassed to live in today. I found🕵️ s many trauma bonds to work thru. Those things or issues stopped bothering me.
💛🌍🌏🧡🌎💚🌱💯🧕👩🦳🎨👩🎨
There we go! Thanks Teal! I’m in thousand pieces still! But my parents claim I had a good childhood! I’m at the point to be angry for many years and I’m finally on it to heal, as one needs to know how, as we are not told in school or by our super parents, that gave me all of their traumas on top of landing in this world run by evil schizophrenic and sociopathic psychopaths!
What do they know about my life, my parents, they are not asking or if I’m asked and tell, they say that can’t be. So much ignorance and stupidity, I hoped my family would be exempt of it but nope I’m definitely the black sheep, and I’m not different but they are all the same!
I can relate with this 100% you are not alone 1 love!!
Same....😒
there are people out there that will understand you. your parents are from a different generation they just don't know better so you shouldn't hold it against them or anyone. it's on you to heal yourself you can't always blame others, be happy that you got the chance to awaken and to heal yourself and to live a great life
WHEN YOUR CHOSEN BY GOD THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME THEY NOT ONLY PUSH YOU AWAY THEY HATE WHAT IS IN YOU THAT TRIGGERS THEM AND COMPEET WITH YOU ALL THE TIME AND ITS NOT YOU WHO HATE YOU ITS THEM HATE THEMSELVES AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU DONT LOVE YOURSELF OR HATE YOURSELF
Damn. While I'm sure there's a lot more to the internalization process, this is me. I was a very sensitive child, and when I would constantly and consistently ask why the world was so violent, or show curiosity and kindness to a bully, I would be met with teasing. I'm older now, and this just seems apparent to me, which is exactly what my sensitivity was rebelling against, the casual nature in which we accept our daily violence. Thank you Teal. I've never gone to therapy, but you're opening my heart and mind to the idea more and more with each video. Keep it up, it's greatly appreciated!
What do you do if you didn't push away just an aspect, but the whole of you as a person?
I got pushed away for crying, asking to buy something as gift, tell my problems everytime ..... Now I am clown who just make others laugh and never cry in public.....Because even I can't accept myself like that and I get embarrassed for crying or asking for help ...... What do I do ??? Where do I start to undo ????
This really hit me. Makes me feel not alone.
Is there really a lot of people like me that this has happened too. I always knew the things people acted wasn’t good of me or annoying were my best qualities but then u question one self cause so many people whom are suppose to love u say it’s bad, wrong. Thank you Teal! Autumn Tauro.
I struggle with self-hate and resistance, but I have an incredibly supportive family. Busy with my fragmented self, I lost my way and don’t know how to connect with the members of my family anymore, even though they tell me that they love me unconditionally. This just makes me hate myself more for not being able to get myself together.
I was a sensitive child, and I grew to despise that. I locked it away so badly, that it came out in bursts and I'd feel relief after. When you push something away it only tends to get worse, and it's a huge reason I feel I developed bipolar. The splitting is so accurate, 90% of the time I could hold it in. But after a while it needed release, and because I was never taught to properly understand and work through my sensitivities it'd release in bursts of anger, extreme sadness, confusion, frustration, and fear. I'm grown now, and my bi-polar is no longer an issue. I've developed a deep love for my sensitivity, and for myself. Since then I've experienced great healing, and no longer experience any form of bi-polar disorder. Teal, I am so grateful for you and your spoken words. You display a great deal of understanding that is obviously a gift from hard lessons and a higher power.
I kind of hav the opposite issue, my mother was desperately needy. But i am autistic and her overwhelming affection caused me adopt a habit of running away, from pretty early on. Even in my 40's she expects me to have the cure for all that ails her. I became very selfdestructive, i dont want ppl close to me because they always want too much , more than i can give. The exception is my own kids who i adore being around but am super cautious of expecting too much from them.
Wow this is exactly what I went threw and I started doing this with my child but this will end with me
Me too...and it makes me so sad
What do you mean it will end with you?
Yeah... people get to close then I seem to self sabotage because of so much neglect and rejection in my life. Now I understand the whole time I was rejecting myself by putting others before me that didn't appreciate me so when they would reject me I'd get I my feelings... little did I realize I was giving myself a double dose of rejection. So now I love myself and no longer look for others to appreciate me cause I got this. So now long story short I love myself and put myself first and definitely know my worth it really doesn't matter if I'm rejected anymore because I know what i have to bring and I am a rare breed just simply born in the wrong era. Rejection from others means God is protecting and has someone better that'll better suit and appreciate me like God appreciates me and love unconditionally.
We all have some type of trama in our lives to become great people to help others
You know what.. the more i get into these psychological stuff the more i realized.. that I'm still just a kid deep down.. like for real, i may be an adult but i still get scared when i hear people yelling, i still get teary eyes when there's even a slightest hint that someone is being distant.. it's that exact raw emotions i felt when i was a kid, so i pleases others ,tuned in with their moods so not to upset them and so on.. it's exhausting and to unlearn it is very hard.. sometimes i just give up and do whatever pleases others, even though i was once a very outspoken and expressive person.. now I'm just existing
You address my life experiences so eloquently 🙏🤣😩
I just learned to be tough. I don't need to love myself to be just fine. That's so silly. No one is perfect and everyone could stand to be improved.
Damn this makes a lot of SENSE! I’ve never been able to understand why don’t I love myself
how do you heal this
it's so sad the pain of mom and dad being mean and neglectful will always be in me. no matter how awesome and happy my life is I'm still sad. it's annoying af
Her energy makes my energy roar it’s paralyzing and hard to explain the electric jolt that comes upon my awaken soul
All my life,and still in it this day,struggle with suicidal thoughts,lots of pain.
You are so important Sonja. Your presence matters. Whether you know it or not, love follows you everywhere you go. Please be encouraged and never let go of hope. 🖤🙏🏽 Mental illness can be exhausting to manage but it does get better as you find what works for you and what nutures your spirit and mind. You are here with us for a reason 🖤
I think you're on the right track but you really need to start thinking about words like being a sensitive child. Because there's no such thing as being a sensitive person. Everyone is born sensitive, that's why you can offend a child very easily especially a young child. Some children can accurately develop a way to deal with criticism and others cannot depending on how good their parents were what you can't just call a child sensitive because all of us are sensitive at some point and I don't know if being a sensitive person means that there's something wrong with you, and I guess it depends on how sensitive you are, I could see somebody being a bit oversensitive perhaps irrational sensitive but when you're bringing up complicated subjects like these you have to go to the source of all words that you're bringing up. All children are sensitive and that is the basis of all human beings.
Maybe its about innate character
Have totally separated body from soul. Was a very sensitive child in a family of 8 children. Both parents pushed me away along with physical and emotional abuse
Rejection is always painful.. Unless you have good self esteem
Is thete really any way to just exist without being classified under some -ism, disorder ,syndrome and whatever else is out there?....This is getting tiring but l dont mean no harm is there just being a way of being sane....like fully sane and not be diagnosed with something?....
You've described my daughters behavior this past year perfectly, and I'm having trouble connecting with her. She has this alter ego of being hard and not caring about anyone or anything getting in fights kicked out of 2 different schools because of this facade she is using to let her anger/pain out. How do I bring her back, she shuts down on me anytime I try to talk to her about it. I let her know I love her multiple times a day, try to do things with her just us without her brother but she remains in charector. It's impossible for me to give up on my children, at the same time she won't allow me to help. Her counselor couldn't help. Going to juvenile detention didn't help. It's very painful to know she's doing this because she is in pain, and I feel helpless as her father trying to get her to love herself. I don't know what to do
It's important to add false self notion. Coping mechanism that allowed to get by with self hate.
Was never allowed to feel angry or hurt by my parents actions bc if so I was an ungrateful, spoiled brat :I Couldn’t even cry without feeling bad about it
Yes thank you for explaining my mother’s behaviour towards me. Emotional ness was always met with disgust or anger
Yeah, I hated myself for sure. I hated myself and my situation so much that I almost offed myself when I was 10
I am so split. I am super sensitive yet I am incredibly harsh on anyone who is
the self hate turns into a feedback loop pain into self hate, selfhate into pain, and the cycle repeats
That was exactly me and that's exactly what happened, it started before i was even 10🤠
Well that's childhood
100% true
After a while, you realize that it makes no sense to hate yourself, but at the same time you may not want to see anyone anymore, because people are, maybe not evil or stupid, but rather they are like small children, not particularly developed despite what are the educational opportunities today and have the ability to think only of themselves and at the same time have an extremely low ability to observe and understand what is going on around them. I constantly observe people's relationships, very often based on lies and conversations behind them and doubts, even if they love each other ... Therefore, I can safely say that people whom parents, friends and society have independently repelled are able to understand themselves and others much more powerfully and clearly, unless there is degradation - no matter how much you want to avoid and build a relationship (because it is clear what it always ends up and making the same mistakes is more than foolish) we are coded to receive love and embrace, and without them many begin to be confused. But when you learn to be one, you will also learn to be strong and thus realize that life is not and cannot be a perfect fulfillment of thoughts and desires. Be who you are and don't let your nose down, because none of us are truly abandoned, because someone is always with us. In my opinion, humanity should learn more about unconditional love, but nowadays it is practically impossible, people are becoming more and more shameless and grumpy in their appliances and baked in their own juice, it is difficult to trust anyone. Therefore, if you happen to be excluded and remain a renegade in your own mind and environment, accept it as a gift from life that has prepared you for the bitter truth in time. Look around and try to see where all our development has started, nothing great is expected anymore, because people have already begun to destroy themselves by taking nature and mother earth with them. All that is left nowadays is money, technology, things and possessions.- All that destroys. Never before have people been so obsessed with themselves and at the same time, they have forgotten so much who they really are. If you have been so crazy that you have decided to be born here, then be strong and do not complain🤷😆🙏
How can I separate being a people pleaser from loving to help people or being nice ??
Most children are sensitive....count on it
We humans can't attain perfection? Ultimately, maybe not....but this beautiful soul explains how to get as close as you can, at least in how to treat/heal yourself, as well as how to treat others, AND have internal peace....we may not BE perfect, but we can work towards FEELING that way! 😁😁😁😁😁 THANK YOU TEAL!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I split from myself so early in life I don't even know who I am.
How can I love myself and accept myself when all I am is a mixture of what other ppl want me to be?
How do you deal with that? Any suggestions are well appreciated! Thanks
Inner child healing..going along these timelines..its can bring a huge sigh of relief and reconciliation.
And be self aware ..and find more n more ways to heal yourself in a continuum
Self hate. That describes perfectly how I feel about myself for most of my life.
combine this with neurodivergence symptoms and you have my experience as a person with adhd summed up pretty well
So how does one reverse this or fix this?
How do one heal that self hate thought ?
this was what happens to Voldemort. Rlly sad
🤣🤣🤣🤣
That’s how it all begins
In the Womb
Teal is a gift.
She's talking about self preservation 😂😂😂😂 don't say you're over me 😂😂
11:11
Exactly what happened to me
*I'm in this picture and i don't like it*
i hate my parents...