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Find and Integrate Your Internal Self Rejector
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- Опубліковано 18 лис 2022
- Inside of many people is a part of their consciousness that rejects themselves. What most people don't know is that this part which sabotages them is actually an inverted protector. In this episode, Teal Swan explains how and why this self rejector is formed and what to do about it. Keep watching this video if you want to learn more.
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Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco
Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader, Bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.
Follow Teal Swan:
╰ / tealswanofficial
╰ / tealswanofficial
╰ tealswan.com
What's brought me tremendous freedom is the realization that you will be rejected whatever you do. You can totally submit yourself to someone else desires, mortify yourself completely, and they can still reject you. It feels so much better to be yourself, then at least you get to have fun while being rejected, and then the rejection hurts so much less, because you're having a great time.
I agree! Some people will never welcome or love you no matter what you do, accepting that fact and that you are absolutely ok, just with incompatible people, sets you free :)
That's clever!
Very wise
Thank you
Yes!
This is something that I am slowly coming to terms with. My work has been constantly criticised and rejected by higher authorities at my work place and peers since 2014. It got worse in 2019. Finally I just stopped listening to them and listened to my inner self. It still hurts but it hurts less when they redicule my work. I no longer care. I just do my thing.
If anyone is interested, this modality Teal is discussing is internal family systems which was refined by Richard Schwartz. There’s a wonderful book “No Bad Parts”. Internal family systems really began helping my ptsd versus the usual cognitive behavioral therapy. I’m finally starting to take care of myself as the ‘self’ and show my younger protective parts that I can take over their duties.
this book has changed my life. it should be taught in schools and colleges imo, so damn good and necessary
You self critic is your eighth and weakest psychological function which is protecting you from misuse or vulnerabilities in your fourth cognitive function, which is your weakest ego function. For example, introvert sensing/extroverted sensing. A myriad of behaviors and thoughts can grow out of any function
"All to often our attempts to avoid one type of pain simply land us in another." LOL it's funny because it's true 🤣😭
The shadow follows us…
I sabotage myself in relationships with others... I always want to show who I really am but I end up showing a dull and grey mask... This correlates to my past that was full of rejection from others and from myself... Anyway, I know I am gonna get through this 💩.
Thank you for doing this video! Greetings from Uruguay
You definitely will, don't loose hope 🌼😌
@@user-gs1et6sx4k thanks 😙
You are not alone on this journey... rejection, abandonment and abuse are part of our collective luggage...and we are here to transmute this collective wound... together
@@tanjaborchhardt2123 beautiful words 🙏✨ I really hope it will be exactly like you said
6:22 I remember consciously choosing to call myself ugly, stupid, unwanted and all sorts of nasty negative self talk in high school so as to "beat others to the punch" so it won't hurt bc I've already hurt myself or that I've already accepted these as "facts". And I wasn't even objectively ugly. But I developed deep body with focus on face dismorphia during those years and even prior.
This is exactly right. I've been thinking about what's wrong with myself for years and she explained my problem exactly. I have a great career path, lots of friends, a hobby and work I enjoy, and yet I hate myself. It's all because I know I'll be rejected if I'm authentic.
You will only be rejected by the wrong people. It’s painful to lose certain people (although you may be surprised by others and your relationships might simply change) but you’ll never be with the right people and doing what you truly want, if you don’t risk losing what you currently have… Being completely authentic is the way to find your people and the right life for you. And that’s a journey in itself, for sure. Sending love
@@vidamrita thank you :) I'm doing well
You don't "know" that, you are assuming it based on your core beliefs you will be.
I always watch everything you put out. Smartest person on the net.
Hahahah
Smartest person on the planet imo 😊
She's so emotionally mature, rare to see people at this level who understand human nature at such intrinsic level.
Wow. You need to get out more if you think this nutcase is smart.
Most courageous, going for mastery and excellence in a world of degrading meoracraty.
Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/self-rejector/
Teal, I’ve heard a little about your background in the Mormon church many years back and was curious if an interview would be possible to discuss certain things?
Wow, now I understand my attitudes better. The inner critic theory never felt real or the whole story for me. I never understood why I'm so agreeable with everyone and can not stand up for myself. I've always hated myself for that, not being able to speak up, to voice my opinion, to go against other people. Now it all makes sense. I knew it had something to do with me not feeling safe in the world but never knew about this self rejector part of me. It makes so much sense and ties everything together. Even the example of the 'golden child' totally resonated with my life. Being agreeable with my parents made them love me and I've rejected the part of me that has a voice and any opinion as they have rejected. I need to integrate and bring that part of me back to life. Thank you 🙏🏿
Same here. You are not Alone. But I still don’t know how to deal with this. It is kind of hard to get out of, because we will not get applauded directly or hugged. For a long time I just thought I was victimising myself, but this really is an eye-opener. Good luck to you.🍀
At the top of the hill , once all rejectors as obstacles have been cleared there is such thing as exaltation in a sanctuary a newly acquired zone where all of our truth rallies under one banner, for one main purpose : to be Loved, to be Loving and to become Life Lovers .
At 6:25 Teal sets out 3 possible goals of the self rejector. #2 struck a chord with me.
“…to maintain connection with those who reject you by agreeing with them about yourself”
the good human beings need to all be in communication with eachother so that they can each always have the aid of all other good humans as available to them.
My father's name was Joe Smith 😊
Greetings from Taos, New Mexico
Wow, Martin's psyche is similar to mine. I got rejected so many times that I stopped making efforts to connect with people.
the person I loved the most in this world just left me because I did literally every single thing Martin did in this video. It was hard to watch. I didn't want to accept the fact that we were not compatible. it is hard to admit this right now. but I need to make a change. They kept begging me to be honest, and all I did was placate them. I lost the person I loved the most.
Advocate shadow in the thumbnail...nice touch 👌👌
Today I had one of those depressive and difficult days, your video helped me a lot, thank you for your inspiration and kindness as always 🌺✨
I send you lots of love. You are perfect as you are, you know? Don't ever forget that. 💛
I can’t stand being this alone anymore I like my own company but I am exhausted I can’t do everything alone anymore universe please help!
Sending you my support and prayers 🙏✨🌼
There was literally no one who wanted me to succeed in my career, family or friends, so I destroyed it. It makes sense why I did it. Thank you teal❤ It feels really good to know why I did what I did. Hoping to get back on track soon!!!
@RR d9pq I am curious to know in what way how and why you destroyed yourself because others didn't want you to succeed.?
I would really love to hear Teal speak more on the "lost child"! She touched it briefly in this video but there's still so much more to it. I would love a video on that! 😊👍🏻
Also this video was great, thank you so much for the insight!
Yes plz
Welp, that's just what I needed a reminder of. Now moving so deep in to my healing, seeing this pattern of self-rejection and abandonment (with a healthy glob of shame and self-loathing for good measure!) was actually created in my childhood - and not operating on a conscious level, but over the past 10 or 12 years, I have been going through this loop of extreme betrayal in every situation, context and relationship type from friends, to business, relationships and family.. Clearly this is what has been going on BENEATH the surface. Only this year have I really been able to begin looking more deeply (after 16 years of self work in the spiritual realm and 12 step recovery +) at what happened, what it was like for me, and call it what it was - abuse and neglect. Love ya Teal! Way to stay solid when people are trying to tear you and your business apart! #TeamNoThankYou
Love you teal... Should be FEEL Swan... Feel like a swan... Interesting... 2 throw caution 2 da wind... Is 2 abandone this internal critic( cautionary) brakes on our authentic wants& needs... So 2 feel swan ... Is 2 be your real self! Why we are here... 2 flower what we really feel... Being the swan vrs tho while being this swan ... One believes they are a do do bird...
Yes! And I would do this for people, get treated like garbage by them and even be told that I take on the problems of other people. It got so bad I just stopped talking to people and it’s not what I want. Even when I was around these types they had similar traumas and just like my close family, they don’t deal with it, but they get angry with me when I freeze/fawn. I’m ready for a change.
As a man, I have never heard any woman speak to us like that ever. That's insane level of understanding.
I remember when my consciousness split 9 years ago after incident in high school, I became hyper aware of the cycle she explained, and what i feared most is that this pain of abandonment, rejection and being turned against myself is what i'm going to do and feel for the rest of my life and to make matters worse i was aware that's NOT AT ALL the worst of pain i could have felt. I just can't handle uncertainty of being corageous it's like my thinking is : cemetary is full of corageous people i can join anytime.
Thank you, Teal. How can we possibly thank you for all of your service?
Send her protection 🙏
You just did. Drink tea every day, and feel the energy that you drink TEAL🫖
Live Your Best Life.... smh Its Her Joy and Your Thanks to Her.
Buy crypto
Lol. Yes! She has been on a mission to spread the wealth. Investing on Her Guidance would say Thank You...
Knocked this video out the park Miss Teal
Maybe if we all had more time on our hands then slaving in this world of work... and grew vegetables and ate better we would all be healthy and more present with ourselves and be more aware of decisions and choices we all make... 😱🤷🏼♀️🙏🏻💗
Your empathy bandwidth is astounding.
This is my life right there thank goodness for you
Thanks for your insightful teachings, the analysis of the inner rejection process makes sense and made me thinking about myself. Greetings from Germany, with love! 🙏❤
Ah man.. I'm literally Matin. Thank you for all the insights💕
ThankU brilliant and scathing. Martin's story is heartbreaking. My folks stayed together & made peace eventually. But my early years were a war zone. Mirroring= law of attraction? So much I don't know
i have no words for how much this resonates with me.. unfortunately.. I love your thought process, presentation and delivery. youre awesome! thank you
"Many of us are engaged in self-sabotage. We do things that hinder our own success, that go against what we want the very most and that cause our own destruction". Teal Swan. Thank you Teal for talking about this 🌎
Thank you, Teal 💚 I only wish I was aware of this earlier in life, but I am grateful to know about it now.
Thank You Teal. Timely words that you have now spoken to my heart.
years back i came onto your channel. Then I wasn't able to connect as much to what you had to say. Lately I am able to connect to every video of yours and to the conversation about self. This one nudged me to type in this comment. Self Rejection is something I've been dealing and struggling with for sooooo long. I am so going to put in the work to dig more into my psyche, unravel this knotted mess and hopefully undo it.
This new intro gets me excited every time I listen 😂😂😂
Thank you...always. For the insight & wisdom as we journey in self awareness 🙏🏽❤️💐
Thank you for your work Teal. I'm just so amazed with your balanced act of leading us ppl through these extremely complex concepts & processes. I can remember when I once did those self destructive choices, and then they just became automatic & unconcious. Feels like I still haven't resolved the self rejection, fighting to find and own my truth. It's hard, don't really know How practically, yet. Will look those videos you named there next. Thank you again
Incredible video and very relevant right now
This is exactly it. Thank you for putting it into words. I have worked with it for so long and somehow managed to acknowledge it as a strategy similar to this, but god, what a mess it was. The order and precision of your words here sums this process of mine up perfectly, brings calm to it. Thank you for your sharpness :-)
And I thank you for your bravery too Teal! Happy Thanksgiving Lady. Much love.
Oooo ive been waiting for more info on this topic... It's like my mom living inside of me, denying any feeling i have 😥
Russian Dolls. I thought I protected my children inutero from my pain.. I did not. I only wanted them to feel the Joy of life they created. Forever Sad🐣
“The self critic is designed to try to force you to confirm to whatever would get you approval.” 7:06
EGO VS SELF☯️
That's literally what I discovered this week😂😂😂😂
Ohhhh! Ofcourse!! Everything makes so much sense now Thankyou VERY much for this Teal 🙏😇🙌🌞
those chakras decor behind you , thats so beautiful also thanks for such an informative video
Thanks Teal. I listened to that
@@Kountrywayne0.- where is the laugh at you button.
@@Kountrywayne0.- Where is the "I'm laughing at you" button.
I can so relate to your definition of the self rejector my own solitude and guardian, vibrational equilibrium be it harmonic or not, i can so integrate what you have said and every word hits home to my sense to my psyche and I end up totally in love with you, Teal Swan. Thank you for your psychic arrows you sharpened, in my quiver.
Thank you Teal ❤ everyone experiences this so differing degrees and it’s not talked about enough
Thank you, Teal and team teal! Live and light. 💕
I admire & respect the beauty you have created in your life and share with others.
The bigger question is WHY tf we are so easily traumatized and fragmented???
Is so Source so unstable at this point and expanding/fragmenting exponentially that it is mirrored in our own fragile, quick sand, unstable selves?
Wow, I felt as you were talking about me!! Thanks, this really helps!
Thankyou Teal! 💖
So insightful! This resonates a lot. Thank you!
GOLD!!!!!!!!!!! Thank YOU!!!!!
You are brilliant.
Damn she is so on point with describing my previous relationship. I love this woman.
Thank you for identifying this as a protector, and distinguishing that it exists as another part (Is not the Inner-Critic directly). The vulnerable part this protector is protecting, is the part of self I have been searching for, for over fifteen years. "It" has mirrored itself in reality, through you, this video, at this time! My public comment here is myself communicating directly back to "it". The vulnerable part created the protector part. That kind of power is intimidating. Who knows how intelligent our vulnerable parts are? They can be more intelligent and aware thane even we are. If the vulnerable part wants integration with the self, "it" must learn to recognize how it distresses and prevents the authentic self from having the capacity to integrate it. "I understand you, but you must understand that you challenged me too much, I am overwhelmed, and your goals are unrealistically difficult. And then I am somehow the problem for not being willing to integrate you?!" When someone lacks will to heal and help themself, we need to seriously ask why. The willingness of a person is the most important of all things, and that which all depends.
I discovered I was self sabotaging myself several years ago, but haven’t figured out how to change it. Maybe I need to watch Teal’s‘s video on parts work, or maybe there is a lack of willingness. I had never thought about that. I hope not! I certainly want to change, at least I think I do. No, I know I do. Good luck to you!
This is so helpful 🙏🏻 my rejector is giving me Herculean work to secure myself. Full on PTSD and terribly hard work to run from the pain of mother's rejection when in fact the pain is my continued wish to be loved and accepted while what i impose to myself is terribly impactful almost making myself ruined financially and unhousing myself to run away. Moving multiple times and loosing me ability to work and earn a living
@@reallythere I got to thinking about what Teal said about doing parts work, so last night after I got in bed I started having a conversation with the part of myself that is always self-sabotaging and it was very eye-opening. I always wondered if I could do that kind of thing, but it really worked. It was very helpful and I saw things in a different light. I would definitely recommend it. I have moved multiple times myself and had so many different jobs and relationships, etc. I finally settled down in my early 40s because I found someone who insisted that we get married, and he was right. but I even managed to sabotage that! (Unconsciously, of course) That’s the part of myself I was speaking with last night (when I should’ve been sleeping). Unfortunately, my sweet husband passed away last year which pretty much destroyed my whole life, but anyway, hang in there. There’s always a solution somehow, if it’s something internal that we can work with. I wish you luck and love. 💕
@@reallythere P. S. Somehow you need to learn to mother yourself, which is not easy to do unless you’ve had it given to you by someone in some form. Just go with your instincts. If you’ve ever mothered anything, like an animal or a house plant or just anything, it’s the same kind of energy. You need to give it to yourself. I’m trying to learn to love and forgive myself and I think that’s the key. Good luck. 💕 do you know the singer Sinead O’Connor? She has a beautiful song from decades ago called “this is to mother you”. You might check it out, it really made me cry. It’s beautiful.
@@whitebirchtarot that's a beautiful insight thank you for it 🙏🏻 yes u need to mother myself, I'm trying hard to even be able to look in the mirror since I've betrayed myself so much I don't even care look at my myself as I'm ashamed to myself for what i did 💯
Thank God. For This
Woman. Teal Swan ! 💔💘💖💞
The synchronicity of this release and what I am discovering in my personal life....
I'm not a fashionista, but that top/dress (can't tell) is very cool and beautiful! Particularly the sleeves
That was really helpful!
i knew someone who managed to have the "im mom's mini me" label attached to her but she was SO intensely self hating and rejecting. in all her interactions in the family she was invisible. completely. a wallflower. no agency and no form on her own. it enraged me tbh. i but for justice for her. as a scapegoat opposite we are often the truth tellers and we will see when the opposite are so deeply in denial. we are forced to see because there simply is no alternative. being able to be in denial for so long pehaps... is more dangerous.
I just wanna Feel good again while doing whats good
that hair light is 👌
*welcome here Thanks for watching*
*For consultation and enlightenment telegram- me.. via the above username ☝️*
Wow Teal! I mean, talk about hitting the nail on the head... this might be your most pertinent video yet, to me. Well, idk, there have been some very pertinent videos before, but this one feels as if it were catered to me specifically. So i will be back, again and again, to rewatch this. You know, i gotta let it sink in a little at a time if i am ever going to fully get it!
*There's more you need to learn and* *understand telegram me via the above* *username ☝️*
Thank you Teal
Much love from Germany
The best in the game 🎯
I just have to pay this compliment to you. You’re very beautiful and classy.
I bow my head to Teal and pray to the mother of all machines.
Thankyou. For everything.
I have had this aspect of Me since WAYYYYY back. My Parents had Me seeing this counselor that wanted Me to write down some of My hopes n dreams... I got excited because I immediately assumed that it was a preemptive self sabatoge mission; yano so I wasnt late again.This was age 7 for Me. 29 freakin years later, and I am still struggling with the same theme. Watch this, Ill hurt Me. And Success is like too terrifiying to go thru with. Like wth!!?? I get feed back from Teal HerSelf... and I just shut down. Not star struck. Not on some different freakin wave-length. Not lacking in confidence. But simply shut down in some aspect of Me that I am failing to pull the raines on. I am GOING to conquer this for the healed I swear it. It is literally why I AM Anthony Ray. It simply means priceless WISE protection. The wisdom of My parts just need a little more wisdom. I am just grateful that I can firmly sense that ALL My parts are content to Listen to You, Teal, with an intention to understand for Me. Thank You Teal. I am Glad We are in Our world Together. Make Great Days!
I Love Your perserverance. Lol I am not here for the money. I am here for Me, You, and hopefully EveryOne else too. Take care, and Make Great Days.
Omg, I do this! But I'm learning how to think for myself. 😤
I needed this one big time!! Thank you! ❤
😑
what saved you from death in childhood
kills you in adulthood
Yay new Teal video ❤🎉🎉🎉
How the heck did you become so awesome at doing this, keep up the great work Teal , is that your real name?
Master goddess ! I think u just cracked the code. See in the past, I would use my fragmentation as power. But then u guy lost in them. So I got to get to myself and yank him out. I always liked self sabotaging from when I was young. To gain strength. If people made fun of me. I would internalize it and make it my own. Even if it’s untrue. But I thought or my mind did it would make me stronger and plus my self sabotaging behavior thought it would be good to ruminate on the idea. And since I never yelled or showed my feelings to defend my emotions. I would use that anger that I wanted to express as focusing it inward. Acting what they thought. To regain strength and use that anger to propel me in life. I guess my protector function. So I need to defend myself more. Which is hard. Bc when I let go of the ego. I don’t see the use to defend myself. But the anger still arises from my self who’s trapped in my fragments. So thank u! And ur beautiful yo! Plus adorable! These stories are totally my life! Your help is ummmmmmmm ding!
Excellent thank you so much
When one beats another to the punch, about oneself...I’m wondering if I had ever really believed that about myself, or was I just pretending to, since it did not seem safe or helpful in those moments, to be my authentic self! I think part of me was pretending & part may have believed some things. Great food for thought! Really great insight! How you sorted this all out, I’ll never know! 😊 I’m so glad you did & Kudos to you for doing so! 🙌🏼♥️🙏🏼 Thank you for this info & I greatly appreciate this video!
I definitely experience self sabotage. Interesting idea that is a protector parts trying to help.
You do great work🎉
the YOU I've internalized is all about CONTROL
I love every one of you
Thank you so awesome
I'm in love!
This woman is simply amazing!
*Thanks for watching and welcome*
*For consultation and enlightenment telegram. me via the above username ☝️*
Societies' fatalist attitudes could be touched on here. What about when rejection is so accepted that its expected and normalized? I don't mean just in intimate relationships, the opposite actually, I mean in mundane daily life. There is a much greater sense of fatalism now than in previous decades, expectations have largely been crushed or faded, and rejection normalized. I understand the pain of rejection, however I expect all people to do so from the start, so there isn't much of an emotional response. I'll argue with them, and if I had developed some love, care (and vulnerability) for someone/something I will be hurt, but it doesn't take long now for me to remind myself that even in that rare or more involved moment, that expecting otherwise was the problem. - The vulnerability of expectations is almost always the cause of every hurt or pain in life.
Ego is the aspect that pretends to protect us. Ego is a trickster.
Thank you! 🙂
thx for d service. nice merry go round. hehehe, better to not care about it and just see it as a beautiful illusion that guides you and makes u g row and overcome the inter and outer limitations. love it, bbswan.
*There's more you need to learn and* *understand telegram me via the above* *username ☝️*
Thank you, the elements that is you.
Above ⬆️⬆️
Teal, would you be able to do a video on how to lucid dream/remember dreams?
No one ever rejects anyone. Lol
Rejection is the simple fact of life. In fact it’s the first lesson my mother and father ever taught me.
People are taught on a regular basis to try and be perfect. To try and be what everybody wants. It is never explained to anybody that we are all perfect because we are all flawed.
Embracing rejection embracing loss and embracing who you are and who others are.
Well show you we are all perfectly flawed.
Seeing the dishes being done.. that's me!
Although I'd hate to say what goes on in my mind when I'm doing that.
But it's a definite "so that" thing.
"Well, it's getting me a small allowance...".
I don't know how to stop. Because I do want some changes, but don't want to experience what would happen if I dropped certain tasks...
Or that's what goes on in my mind. Its like a loud siren in my mind screaming, "Danger!' even though I recognize the other dangers of continuing to be self rejecting.
I call all the different 'personalities' that work with me, within or without, my Royal Court. When you get yourself all lined up, it's flippin' nuts how super fast and (for me) hilariously and sweetly everything just works now. I feel utterly spoiled, all by myself. And, when I find myself pissed off and allowing myself a grown up sized toddler-style hissy fit (I swear toddlers are intelligent beyond reasoning), they just sit back and let me have at it until I burn out and start getting myself back together. Then here they come, reminding me all the work I've done. I've already conquered that, why am I having a cow just because I can't experience it in the 3D right now? You know your truth, why are you letting the 3D confuse you and try to tell you different? it has not always been this way, and it was not easy, nor fast work to retrain all of that within myself, but gods, it's so, so worth it.
Tell us more how you did it!
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
I have discovered that I self~reject by staying in the prescence of a person/man who is flirting sexually 1st time meeting them. I am practicing leaving immediately once I notice these actions and STOP giving these ppl chances or being too polite by staying. TY & U look AWESOME in royal blue or periwinkle blue🙌🙏💙