What a timing... I had just escalated the hell out of a fight with basically no good reason. I rushed to the bedroom, closed the door and isolated myself from everyone. And then 'ping' my phone gets a notification that Teal has posted a new video about de-escalation :D Thank you!
The ultimate expression of that law :D We're both very good at escalating molehills into mountains so it's going to take some work... but Teal has just provided some excellent tools for that :)
You're one of the greatest teachers, Teal. What you went through to learn all of this is something a person wouldn't want to relive. I don't want us to have to relive our traumatic lives in our next existence. Thank goodness for your books.
Hey teal, just wanted to thank you for all you have done, I suffered so much within the last few years and your videos were the only comforting source. It was such a divine gift. Thank you❤️
this. was. incredible. I will be checking out many more of your "segments". My boyfriend and I are listening together; we have agreed to come together an hour a week to learn how to be a better partner. wonderful. thank you so much!
when you said do not walk away from the argument is so valid, when I am the one walking away in my mind I can't wait to go far away and not give a damn anymore, and when I am the one left I always feel like I'm literally dying like I don't matter enough to be secured and I'm being left in a bad standing
My favorite mantra to say when I need to disconnect from a conversation is: I release all negative emotions, energies and patterns coming from this person." I say it with love IN MY HEAD while the person is doing what they need to do and saying what they need to say and I'm able to disconnect fully.
lmao I bet that works reaaaalllll well for you 😂 If someone did this while we were arguing I'd take it as a dismissal and it would make me even more angry. You're also denying your own anger. We don't do the toxic positivity here baby.
I don't think walking away is always perceived as abandonment, but it depends on HOW it is done, that is you can negotiate a time out. But if walking away mean "having the last word, and walking away before you allow a response", that is bullying behavior that is so afraid of the truth that it is DEMANDING a single interpretation as the only one that can be discussed. So if you need to retreat, you need to see it as YOUR problem, and request permission to leave, and when it is granted, both people can feel safe.
I'm so happy to say I bought and received Teals latest book (The Completion Process) this week! So far, the book is fantastic! This is going to help SO MANY! Im so grateful for Teals existence and what she beings to the world! I've learned so so much and have grown in ways I never knew were possible. Best to you. Allyson from Connecticut
Wow. I'm good at de-escalating conflict with anyone whom I don't love (not in a negative, but in a neutral way), but when it comes to the person I love the most in the world (my mirror) the only place/situation where I can truly deescalate the conflict without even a possibility of reacting to something by escalating it again is if we are alone in his car. Not anywhere else, not surrounded by other people, but alone in his car. This is the place where we were first intimate, the place where we were alone for the first moment of any day (we would usually see each other before that each day in the gym surrounded by people, and then later he would pick me up and we would drive somewhere), and it is also the place where we broke up. I knew his car was a safe place for me, but now I understand why
Are уou maaааking these mistаkеs with your man? twitter.com/385c9d4a1ae33a7b8/status/804693412402241537 Hoоw To De Еsсаlate an Аrgument Relаtiоnship Adviсe Teаl Swan
but I am going to listen to this again as well as the other videos I am going to rewatch because you are a wise person and have not steered me wrong yet
Three minutes human's relationship is more important than whole day watching videos. All relationships have cliche. When we go out, there is new situation. Just to hear someone loved out is already success.
Great video! One suggestion though... if the other person is acting in an abusive manner and is only seeking to "win" as a result of the argument, walking away is justified. You are not being considered in that situation and must consider yourself. Thanks!
I walked away after expressing anger from everyone in my life and that's because I feel absolutely powerless when a conflict arises since I grew up with a mother who only cared about dominance and not for my needs. I've uprooted many old wounds and shadows but this, I can't seem to. I want to work on this, at the same time I don't want to. Contrary to her teachings, I do not think I don't want to fix this wound because an aspect of me still sees it as love. I think I hold onto this habit because of my lack of trust in people. I've been in a very few number of conflicts where the argument has been resolved but even then, I feel bitter towards myself for not having walked away and abandoning the person. Someone invalidating my needs or excluding me with the intent to hurt me is usually a trigger. I've attracted several with struggle for power in my life. I am not surprised often because I feel powerless myself. My mom has responded to me in sick twisted ways. She is very sick when I describe her to other people but it still feels very normal for me.
what about if you follow the pattern of parental arguments, but you grow up, deal with your issues, find the right partner who you don't argue with as they accept you and listen to you unlike your parents did, but then you keep having the same arguments with your parents no matter how much you try to change it. Everything outside of my Dad is great, but I keep getting pulled back to him to resolve emergency vehicle issues, that only he can do, but we argue like cat and dog. I have essentially healed my future, but my past keeps dragging me back, I know the root, but I just don't know what the magical realisation is. Thanks for the help Teal, you've been a real help over the last few years. I hope that the next video might offer something of uhah value as it always does.
I already practice this (proud, haha). But personally I find that touching the other/them touching me, is wrong. I find it invasive & manipulative in a distasteful way. In arguments that is. It feels like a dirty trick to me.
do you get to choose your wardrobe Teal? massive kudos for matching the earrings with the dress. You put much effort into the dynamics of appearance such is the Pleiadian way. credit to you - you pull it off in style.
thank you teal =) it's hard atm because I felt really trigger. but i understand what you said. Knowing the path is different from walking the path. Morpheous but it's my first step to walking it. thank you again =) just right in the nick of time.
Hahah so true ! The only person I have a strong conflict and argument is my mom . Couple weeks ago she asked me why I don't eat this vegan cheese ( that is mostly made out of coconut oil - I've tried it before and I love it but for the sake of my health I'm not going to consume coconut oil ) so I said that I will not eat it because coconut oil is mostly ( over 60% ) saturated fat , so my mom at a time looked some article on the internet she found and started talking about heating coconut oil and it's not changing into damaging fat . Well she didn't get my point . I wasn't talking about poly and monounsaturated fats changing into bad ones which she was talking about . I was talking about saturated fats and that is different than mono and polyunsaturated fats . And this stupid argument grew and grew and I we were getting louder and louder . She didn't even understand that we were talking about different things and so as a mom she told me to shut up at the end and I know that if I don't then she's going to tell me " this is my house, u do what I say or you can move out " - I'd do that with pleasure ( to move out ) but since I went to school year later than other kids and 3 years ago I moved to another country .. I'm still going to school , I'm 19 years old and I can't get any work because I don't have a good degree ( still studying ) and if I'd move out now then I end up being on the street , homeless .
As usual, Teal offers a lot of good information, but there are some points that are inaccurate or incomplete. First, it is not just fight or flight. It is fight-flight-or-freeze. All 3 are reactions to stress. Second, sometimes it is CRUCIAL to walk away from a fight/argument (please see any of John Gottman's over 3 decades of research on couples and what helps couples negotiate their differences). It is important to circumvent the distancer-pursuer dynamic, and sometimes that requires walking away ..... for a time. What is also CRUCIAL is that if someone does need to walk away to calm down, then they agree to a time to COME BACK and continue the conversation, so that the other does not feel abandoned. This is a very nutshell version of what Gottman recommends based on his extensive research, not just one person's opinion.
I had repeated bad experience with NOT leaving the interaction during conflict. So I guess we are going to be stuck with the situation that if you fly off the handle for what reason I know not, and accuse me of stuff I didn't do, tell me and tell me and tell me what a horrible person I am, then you are going to get abandoned!!!
I think my flat mate is trying to lure me into an argument over a pile of period blood in the bathroom, which she spilled. But I´m sure it´s my own fault, I´ve been structurally ignoring her for about a year now, so I guess this is the result. Though I do use some body language to communicate with her, I doubt touching her is really a good idea and not really my style.
Very interesting. I have this issue in relationships even when I have this issue at work. It feels like I have to appease people just to end the conversation. It feels like I have no solution on how to de-escalate the argument just going in circles...this video need to study on.
If you can say something that can change my recent opinions about things, then that would be great. But right now, I have many trust issues with things. About 6 months back, when I first subscribed here, I was also being faced with many slanders against me, and I was also grieving over how much of a hypocrite I was in the past. I was, at that time, trying to disconnect from negative people in my life while trying to make things better at the same time. I was also lenient about who I welcomed into my life, that if someone claimed to be a friend, or even if they were just friendly, I welcomed them into my life. But while I was doing this, more negative people were sneaking up on me, but I was too linient to suspect them. While this was going on, a part of me wanted to be more strict with everything, but I continued being the same. I was eventually defeated by the negative people, thus causing my efforts to make things better a failure. I was defeated for months, but recently, this past October, I got the motivation to listen to my stricter side in order to make the same efforts, but this time, much more strict, not trusting anyone, with the exception of those who truly are friends. Already, I've disconnected from several people in my life who claim to be my friend, but they show different. A few months back, I didn't hate anyone, but now, I hate everyone who I disconnect myself from. Some think I'm being way too harsh with how I'm going about this now. I will say, I tried being linient about things, but now I'm disconnecting from, walking away from, and hating several people. This mostly originated from sadness and anger, but also a strong will to free my mind from the fears and grief. I'm not saying any of this for attention. This has been therapy that I've been giving myself.
I find it difficult during a long conflict/discussion to not need to use the restroom or need water. If I am upset sometimes it makes me thirsty or have to pee 😅 not trying to abandon, I always come right back.
There are those who cannot, cannot resolve an argument without going for a short walk or the like to clear their mind, or as they say: 'It is not going to go well' to be polite. Light or no light.
The AnMish says she sadly has to freak out and scream-fest, while her spouse just sits on the sofa listening calmly. Then when she normalizes, they both can sit down and talk. It is because of her diagnoses.
Really good video, as always. :) Wondering if you could do a video on what continuous extreme stress and continual trauma can do to your physical body? Please :)
Please, do not get me wrong, I do love Teal and I really appreciate her videos and her wisdom, but somehow I always feel a bit unsafe or anxious when she laughs (??) Can't explain it why that is but her laughter is unnatural TO ME, not authentic. Due to her videos and how much she has helped me in the past I always feel conacted and safe to her in her videos. But in that particular moment when she laughs suddently I feel a huge distance.
@wolfvision Yes, the best way to resolve this mounting issue is by knowing her exact position. I'm a good listener, so I'll be sure to give her my full attention whenever she opens her mouth. I'm very caring, so if Teal's sufficiently flexible, I'm willing to plunge into discussion at any time and pound out a satisfying resolution.
I'm not convince by this approach Teal, despite I'm admiring your logic in your psychological exploration. But here is the point : you're using logic in the paradigm of emotions. In fact, the point #6 is proving it : you ask to connect to the other with the body, and to "open" ourselves. But did you think about the possibility that, for a very logical and verbal person, this : - Could be perceived as a threat : as if what's wrong and what's dangerous (the antagonistic illogical structure / antagonistic thoughts) was FORCING to abandon her point of view by accepting a contradictive result (touching/loving = agreeing). As if the "devil" was using his technic to force to accept. Just imagine a Nazi who has killed all your family, and with who you're arguing to make him understand ; but he doesn't, and he comes to hug you : do you feel comfortable with that ? You'll probably answer : people's are not Nazis, and your partner even less ! Yes, but for a very logical/verbal individual, every conflict in wich an antagonistic structure has to be fight, is a resurgence of the trauma and how is perceived the antagonistic structure. And this structure is always perceived as "the same", for such a logical/verbal individual (like if the individual has found similarities in structures, and have discovered stereotypical patterns). So, the abovementionned individual will fight it as if it was the devil itself, the "false", the "lie". - Is an intrusion of emotion in language : why should we force our sensations/emotions, despite the lack of coherence with the logic behind ? Why should we restrict the logic to a purpose (social/emotional harmony), if it force us to lie ? You have to understand that it's very difficult for logical/verbal individual to abandon their connection with logic. Even if you think that such extreme individual are just a minority ! Because in fact, the process is the same for non-extreme individual : they can have this kind of reaction too (the process is diluted but still there). Thanks Teal for your presence on this Universe ! (even if you/we are not responsible for it ^^. Yeah, that was an emotional assertion...).
The mind is traumatic. Even so called spiritual people are blind to buried traumas from past lives, miasms and a whole slew of ancestral traumas. Your life is a sorry ass re-rerun until you love the sorry ass memories which you spend all your life avoiding. Loving the darkside as a matter of daily practice is the height of love . Love thy enemy. You cant love yourself until you learn how to access the obscure hidden memories that virally have caused havoc on the entirety of consciousness.
I had to ask for space because he was using manipulation and emotional blackmail and I could not take it anymore nor should I have to. Now I am ready to talk, but need to address the abusive behaviors first and I’m unsure how to do that safely in a way that doesn’t trigger more abusive responses. I think he is very capable of stopping this and is unaware as he was subject to this by an abusive ex spouse and learned these from her to defend himself. It’s still not ok, but I am willing to allow him a little bit of time to address it, but I’m told never to use the word “abuse” as its triggering and he will feel attacked, but I don’t want to dumb down the seriousness of it….it would be betraying myself and not making it safe for me. I’m stuck here, still waiting to talk to him because I don’t know how to say this safely. Any advice?
P.S I have tried soothing techniques... but unfortunately it does not work :( I have tried everything Teal...and calmed myself down in the process, felt empathy ect..., but unfortunately, this made the situation worse and I have now come to the conclusion that she has had a very negative being attached to her, since her child hood... OMG!
thankyou. i do have a question however.. what about when youve been apologized to so many times that it literally makes you crazy to hear the apology ?
lol.. first and foremost.. i just wana say that.. out for blood... haha.. and yup.. i'm the natural self sacrificial type. because i hate conflict and love harmony. but there are people who just loves to create dramatic conflicts out of nowhere.. i wonder why.. just like what i'm experiencing atm. about some loud mouth online making the most inappropriate of comments.. idk why. i'm very angry atm but trying to forgive and release. (to be cont. rewatching lol)
Why does the blame have to be the parents all the time . I feel most trauma was formed and or the reasons from my actions are from early teenage years .
Teal, I love you, but I have a hard time believing that the other person, well my other person would ever be able to do this non verbal part with the computers or the writing. I wish
see my significant other is an NPD person and I believe has borderline personality as well and you can really never win an argument whoops I didn't did I say that did I say win? I suppose I should not have said that
What a timing... I had just escalated the hell out of a fight with basically no good reason. I rushed to the bedroom, closed the door and isolated myself from everyone. And then 'ping' my phone gets a notification that Teal has posted a new video about de-escalation :D
Thank you!
law of attraction
The ultimate expression of that law :D
We're both very good at escalating molehills into mountains so it's
going to take some work... but Teal has just provided some excellent
tools for that :)
You're one of the greatest teachers, Teal. What you went through to learn all of this is something a person wouldn't want to relive. I don't want us to have to relive our traumatic lives in our next existence. Thank goodness for your books.
Hey teal, just wanted to thank you for all you have done, I suffered so much within the last few years and your videos were the only comforting source. It was such a divine gift. Thank you❤️
this. was. incredible. I will be checking out many more of your "segments". My boyfriend and I are listening together; we have agreed to come together an hour a week to learn how to be a better partner. wonderful. thank you so much!
when you said do not walk away from the argument is so valid, when I am the one walking away in my mind I can't wait to go far away and not give a damn anymore, and when I am the one left I always feel like I'm literally dying like I don't matter enough to be secured and I'm being left in a bad standing
I know that with petty arguments my biggest fear is the smug look on my opponent's face when they feel like they have won.
Madelyn Today Same! I wish people weren’t so damn condescending
My favorite mantra to say when I need to disconnect from a conversation is: I release all negative emotions, energies and patterns coming from this person." I say it with love IN MY HEAD while the person is doing what they need to do and saying what they need to say and I'm able to disconnect fully.
lmao I bet that works reaaaalllll well for you 😂
If someone did this while we were arguing I'd take it as a dismissal and it would make me even more angry. You're also denying your own anger.
We don't do the toxic positivity here baby.
I don't think walking away is always perceived as abandonment, but it depends on HOW it is done, that is you can negotiate a time out. But if walking away mean "having the last word, and walking away before you allow a response", that is bullying behavior that is so afraid of the truth that it is DEMANDING a single interpretation as the only one that can be discussed. So if you need to retreat, you need to see it as YOUR problem, and request permission to leave, and when it is granted, both people can feel safe.
I'm so happy to say I bought and received Teals latest book (The Completion Process) this week! So far, the book is fantastic! This is going to help SO MANY! Im so grateful for Teals existence and what she beings to the world! I've learned so so much and have grown in ways I never knew were possible.
Best to you.
Allyson from Connecticut
Wow. I'm good at de-escalating conflict with anyone whom I don't love (not in a negative, but in a neutral way), but when it comes to the person I love the most in the world (my mirror) the only place/situation where I can truly deescalate the conflict without even a possibility of reacting to something by escalating it again is if we are alone in his car. Not anywhere else, not surrounded by other people, but alone in his car. This is the place where we were first intimate, the place where we were alone for the first moment of any day (we would usually see each other before that each day in the gym surrounded by people, and then later he would pick me up and we would drive somewhere), and it is also the place where we broke up. I knew his car was a safe place for me, but now I understand why
thank you for this. :) to be honest this should apply to all youtube comment arguments / flame wars as well as real life lol
Are уou maaааking these mistаkеs with your man? twitter.com/385c9d4a1ae33a7b8/status/804693412402241537 Hoоw To De Еsсаlate an Аrgument Relаtiоnship Adviсe Teаl Swan
i think it would be awesome if you did video series about different mental illnesses and you perspective on it. like if you agree
i know Im kinda off topic but do anybody know a good website to stream new series online ?
@Darwin Zayd i watch on flixzone. Just search on google for it =)
but I am going to listen to this again as well as the other videos I am going to rewatch because you are a wise person and have not steered me wrong yet
Thank you so much again, practising these intelligent guidelines will certainly help me getting my impulsive outbursts at ease
seek to understand before being understood simple.
how about stay firm and honest... let argument resolve... dont chase or hide .
I SO NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW. I just had an argument with my kid and I feel like a monster
Whenever I listen to her I discover,
how much I still have to learn ...
Hannah Gonzalez Thank you! Life is very short to reduce nescience but we try our best :)
Three minutes human's relationship is more important than whole day watching videos. All relationships have cliche. When we go out, there is new situation. Just to hear someone loved out is already success.
Your channels intro is just simply the coolest ♥☺
how about stay firm and honest... let argument resolve... dont chase or hide .
I love the way you giggle 😍. Thank you for the advise, dear Teal.
Great video! One suggestion though... if the other person is acting in an abusive manner and is only seeking to "win" as a result of the argument, walking away is justified. You are not being considered in that situation and must consider yourself. Thanks!
As always I'm floored by Teals insights! Her knowledge & more importantly the way she conveys it is absolutely amazing!
Just what I needed! So happy to watch this
I walked away after expressing anger from everyone in my life and that's because I feel absolutely powerless when a conflict arises since I grew up with a mother who only cared about dominance and not for my needs. I've uprooted many old wounds and shadows but this, I can't seem to. I want to work on this, at the same time I don't want to. Contrary to her teachings, I do not think I don't want to fix this wound because an aspect of me still sees it as love. I think I hold onto this habit because of my lack of trust in people. I've been in a very few number of conflicts where the argument has been resolved but even then, I feel bitter towards myself for not having walked away and abandoning the person. Someone invalidating my needs or excluding me with the intent to hurt me is usually a trigger. I've attracted several with struggle for power in my life. I am not surprised often because I feel powerless myself. My mom has responded to me in sick twisted ways. She is very sick when I describe her to other people but it still feels very normal for me.
what about if you follow the pattern of parental arguments, but you grow up, deal with your issues, find the right partner who you don't argue with as they accept you and listen to you unlike your parents did, but then you keep having the same arguments with your parents no matter how much you try to change it.
Everything outside of my Dad is great, but I keep getting pulled back to him to resolve emergency vehicle issues, that only he can do, but we argue like cat and dog.
I have essentially healed my future, but my past keeps dragging me back, I know the root, but I just don't know what the magical realisation is.
Thanks for the help Teal, you've been a real help over the last few years. I hope that the next video might offer something of uhah value as it always does.
she read my need.been thinking about better ways to handle my relationship conflicts!
some of the best work i have seen online.
I already practice this (proud, haha). But personally I find that touching the other/them touching me, is wrong. I find it invasive & manipulative in a distasteful way. In arguments that is. It feels like a dirty trick to me.
do you get to choose your wardrobe Teal? massive kudos for matching the earrings with the dress. You put much effort into the dynamics of appearance such is the Pleiadian way. credit to you - you pull it off in style.
thank you teal =) it's hard atm because I felt really trigger. but i understand what you said.
Knowing the path is different from walking the path. Morpheous
but it's my first step to walking it.
thank you again =) just right in the nick of time.
Thank you, Teal!! Truly amazing, as always. So eternally grateful for you and all that you do.
Hahah so true ! The only person I have a strong conflict and argument is my mom . Couple weeks ago she asked me why I don't eat this vegan cheese ( that is mostly made out of coconut oil - I've tried it before and I love it but for the sake of my health I'm not going to consume coconut oil ) so I said that I will not eat it because coconut oil is mostly ( over 60% ) saturated fat , so my mom at a time looked some article on the internet she found and started talking about heating coconut oil and it's not changing into damaging fat . Well she didn't get my point . I wasn't talking about poly and monounsaturated fats changing into bad ones which she was talking about . I was talking about saturated fats and that is different than mono and polyunsaturated fats . And this stupid argument grew and grew and I we were getting louder and louder . She didn't even understand that we were talking about different things and so as a mom she told me to shut up at the end and I know that if I don't then she's going to tell me " this is my house, u do what I say or you can move out " - I'd do that with pleasure ( to move out ) but since I went to school year later than other kids and 3 years ago I moved to another country .. I'm still going to school , I'm 19 years old and I can't get any work because I don't have a good degree ( still studying ) and if I'd move out now then I end up being on the street , homeless .
As usual, Teal offers a lot of good information, but there are some points that are inaccurate or incomplete. First, it is not just fight or flight. It is fight-flight-or-freeze. All 3 are reactions to stress. Second, sometimes it is CRUCIAL to walk away from a fight/argument (please see any of John Gottman's over 3 decades of research on couples and what helps couples negotiate their differences). It is important to circumvent the distancer-pursuer dynamic, and sometimes that requires walking away ..... for a time. What is also CRUCIAL is that if someone does need to walk away to calm down, then they agree to a time to COME BACK and continue the conversation, so that the other does not feel abandoned. This is a very nutshell version of what Gottman recommends based on his extensive research, not just one person's opinion.
I am so defensive that it looks like it has completely killed my relationship. Finding it so hard not to react.
I need to stop watching your videos as I think I am falling in love with you.
🔮INSOMNIA. STILL WAITIN FOR THAT VIDEO!
Excellent and practical suggestions. Thank you,
Didn't realize that walking away during a conflict would be perceived as abandonment b/c we've been talked to take a time out during conflicts.
I had repeated bad experience with NOT leaving the interaction during conflict. So I guess we are going to be stuck with the situation that if you fly off the handle for what reason I know not, and accuse me of stuff I didn't do, tell me and tell me and tell me what a horrible person I am, then you are going to get abandoned!!!
My life coach. Love you Teal
Thank You! This helps me to understand myself today.
Wow, this was so helpful
Thank you so much for this video! Perfect timing as usual. :) Have a wonderful day!
I think my flat mate is trying to lure me into an argument over a pile of period blood in the bathroom, which she spilled. But I´m sure it´s my own fault, I´ve been structurally ignoring her for about a year now, so I guess this is the result. Though I do use some body language to communicate with her, I doubt touching her is really a good idea and not really my style.
***** It's not the first time, I've seen worst.
Very interesting. I have this issue in relationships even when I have this issue at work. It feels like I have to appease people just to end the conversation. It feels like I have no solution on how to de-escalate the argument just going in circles...this video need to study on.
I needed this exactly now. Amazing! Thank you Teal.
One of your all time best. Much love 💜
Wow thank you very much Teal.I really like what you said here.
Thank you for uploading this video. The timing is perfect! 😍
awesome videos Teal keep it up :)
If you can say something that can change my recent opinions about things, then that would be great. But right now, I have many trust issues with things. About 6 months back, when I first subscribed here, I was also being faced with many slanders against me, and I was also grieving over how much of a hypocrite I was in the past. I was, at that time, trying to disconnect from negative people in my life while trying to make things better at the same time. I was also lenient about who I welcomed into my life, that if someone claimed to be a friend, or even if they were just friendly, I welcomed them into my life. But while I was doing this, more negative people were sneaking up on me, but I was too linient to suspect them. While this was going on, a part of me wanted to be more strict with everything, but I continued being the same. I was eventually defeated by the negative people, thus causing my efforts to make things better a failure. I was defeated for months, but recently, this past October, I got the motivation to listen to my stricter side in order to make the same efforts, but this time, much more strict, not trusting anyone, with the exception of those who truly are friends. Already, I've disconnected from several people in my life who claim to be my friend, but they show different. A few months back, I didn't hate anyone, but now, I hate everyone who I disconnect myself from. Some think I'm being way too harsh with how I'm going about this now. I will say, I tried being linient about things, but now I'm disconnecting from, walking away from, and hating several people. This mostly originated from sadness and anger, but also a strong will to free my mind from the fears and grief. I'm not saying any of this for attention. This has been therapy that I've been giving myself.
I love you Teal!!! You rock!!!
you are absolutely incredible, thank you again Teal ❤
I find it difficult during a long conflict/discussion to not need to use the restroom or need water. If I am upset sometimes it makes me thirsty or have to pee 😅 not trying to abandon, I always come right back.
Great presentation
There are those who cannot, cannot resolve an argument without going for a short walk or the like to clear their mind, or as they say: 'It is not going to go well' to be polite. Light or no light.
The AnMish says she sadly has to freak out and scream-fest, while her spouse just sits on the sofa listening calmly. Then when she normalizes, they both can sit down and talk.
It is because of her diagnoses.
What is trust and how to build it, avoiding of conflict. Please provide supplemental links.
really informative and useful.. thank you teal.. i love you.
Thank you!
Really good video, as always. :) Wondering if you could do a video on what continuous extreme stress and continual trauma can do to your physical body? Please :)
this is the type of girl i want, she always has my attention.
Please, do not get me wrong, I do love Teal and I really appreciate her videos and her wisdom, but somehow I always feel a bit unsafe or anxious when she laughs (??) Can't explain it why that is but her laughter is unnatural TO ME, not authentic. Due to her videos and how much she has helped me in the past I always feel conacted and safe to her in her videos. But in that particular moment when she laughs suddently I feel a huge distance.
same here
8:22 *She's cute as crap these 10 seconds.* Makes me think Teal and I should talk soon & discuss this predicament.
lol... @thatsINpossible
@wolfvision Yes, the best way to resolve this mounting issue is by knowing her exact position. I'm a good listener, so I'll be sure to give her my full attention whenever she opens her mouth. I'm very caring, so if Teal's sufficiently flexible, I'm willing to plunge into discussion at any time and pound out a satisfying resolution.
Yep you're not the only one. I have had this for quite some time now.
I wish youtube would put the videos you reference to on the right of screen
Hi Teal. I'm not sure you're ever going to see this, but can you make a video on Schizoprenia?
I'm not convince by this approach Teal, despite I'm admiring your logic in your psychological exploration. But here is the point : you're using logic in the paradigm of emotions. In fact, the point #6 is proving it : you ask to connect to the other with the body, and to "open" ourselves. But did you think about the possibility that, for a very logical and verbal person, this :
- Could be perceived as a threat : as if what's wrong and what's dangerous (the antagonistic illogical structure / antagonistic thoughts) was FORCING to abandon her point of view by accepting a contradictive result (touching/loving = agreeing). As if the "devil" was using his technic to force to accept. Just imagine a Nazi who has killed all your family, and with who you're arguing to make him understand ; but he doesn't, and he comes to hug you : do you feel comfortable with that ? You'll probably answer : people's are not Nazis, and your partner even less ! Yes, but for a very logical/verbal individual, every conflict in wich an antagonistic structure has to be fight, is a resurgence of the trauma and how is perceived the antagonistic structure. And this structure is always perceived as "the same", for such a logical/verbal individual (like if the individual has found similarities in structures, and have discovered stereotypical patterns). So, the abovementionned individual will fight it as if it was the devil itself, the "false", the "lie".
- Is an intrusion of emotion in language : why should we force our sensations/emotions, despite the lack of coherence with the logic behind ? Why should we restrict the logic to a purpose (social/emotional harmony), if it force us to lie ?
You have to understand that it's very difficult for logical/verbal individual to abandon their connection with logic. Even if you think that such extreme individual are just a minority ! Because in fact, the process is the same for non-extreme individual : they can have this kind of reaction too (the process is diluted but still there).
Thanks Teal for your presence on this Universe ! (even if you/we are not responsible for it ^^. Yeah, that was an emotional assertion...).
Thank you Teal
The mind is traumatic. Even so called spiritual people are blind to buried traumas from past lives, miasms and a whole slew of ancestral traumas. Your life is a sorry ass re-rerun until you love the sorry ass memories which you spend all your life avoiding. Loving the darkside as a matter of daily practice is the height of love . Love thy enemy. You cant love yourself until you learn how to access the obscure hidden memories that virally have caused havoc on the entirety of consciousness.
This is a good video.
15:55 apology is like dumping fire over flame?
I had to ask for space because he was using manipulation and emotional blackmail and I could not take it anymore nor should I have to. Now I am ready to talk, but need to address the abusive behaviors first and I’m unsure how to do that safely in a way that doesn’t trigger more abusive responses. I think he is very capable of stopping this and is unaware as he was subject to this by an abusive ex spouse and learned these from her to defend himself. It’s still not ok, but I am willing to allow him a little bit of time to address it, but I’m told never to use the word “abuse” as its triggering and he will feel attacked, but I don’t want to dumb down the seriousness of it….it would be betraying myself and not making it safe for me. I’m stuck here, still waiting to talk to him because I don’t know how to say this safely. Any advice?
would like to know difference between incompatibility type argument vs a regular relationship
Are there any videos on the actual cause of auditory hallucinations related to the diagnosis of schizophrenia?
Now that I am in a safer place and can raise a little hell, I have discovered I lack a lot of real relationship skills. Thank You x 1000
it is when the argument is started by the other person I can do everything that she is teaching but it the other person who will start it up again
P.S I have tried soothing techniques... but unfortunately it does not work :( I have tried everything Teal...and calmed myself down in the process, felt empathy ect..., but unfortunately, this made the situation worse and I have now come to the conclusion that she has had a very negative being attached to her, since her child hood... OMG!
Crazy! Me to a T . Really good video thanks.
thankyou. i do have a question however.. what about when youve been apologized to so many times that it literally makes you crazy to hear the apology ?
They get mad at me i wasnt even fighting
can you please do a video about crystal children, empaths! and advice for thei life
Hey, great video - super timely for me. :O Links to other videos mentioned would be super helpful moving forward. Much love
Thanks Sai Baba! Love u
Thank you!!
I love you teal
This is so well said, Thank you! Sadly, This is me and my Husband 100% :/
yup,arguments are great!I love going in for the kill shot! :p
Thanks :)
Welp,I'm here early.
lol.. first and foremost.. i just wana say that.. out for blood... haha.. and yup.. i'm the natural self sacrificial type. because i hate conflict and love harmony. but there are people who just loves to create dramatic conflicts out of nowhere.. i wonder why.. just like what i'm experiencing atm. about some loud mouth online making the most inappropriate of comments.. idk why. i'm very angry atm but trying to forgive and release. (to be cont. rewatching lol)
I'm still waiting for NIBIRU when are we going to see it?
I just lost it with my poor grandma :(
100hz roll off button? If you've got one, push it! (sub speaker is getting kicked around by the plosives).
Genuinely. I am so sad not to of seen you in UK. LOLxxxx
Why does the blame have to be the parents all the time . I feel most trauma was formed and or the reasons from my actions are from early teenage years .
Teal, I love you, but I have a hard time believing that the other person, well my other person would ever be able to do this non verbal part with the computers or the writing. I wish
LET'S GO MAKE TEAL LAUGH. LET'S TELL HER A JOKE SO SO FUNNY THAT WE SEE HER GUMS AND THE MIC WILL POP AND EXPLODE. WHO AGREEDS?
Those who know about her forest fire blog post, realize this is also in reference to de-escalating the conflict between America and Russia :)
That's not what that blog post was about lmao
How many times have you been married and in your early 30s? I guess you are an expert on relationships?
see my significant other is an NPD person and I believe has borderline personality as well and you can really never win an argument whoops I didn't did I say that did I say win? I suppose I should not have said that
Then I wanna have an argument with you Teal to practise what i learned from you here, may I have one please?