The content, truth, and transparency of your episode is such a blessing. You all keep this up!!! Don't let anyone discourage you from sharing as you have!
Omg yes!!! Certain actions and behaviors of my spouse definitely caused me to want to "control " the situation, which my actions were trying to control him. By trying to control him and make sure there were boundaries, I thought it could control any negative actions on his part and that made him feel even stronger to push back against me and started this vicious cycle between us over the last 5 years... Everything I hear you two saying is just so familiar. I have tried to do all these things to rebuild trust lost..but i dont feel he can live with boundaries and safeguards because he is still doing things he KNOWS he shouldn't be doing to protect our marriage. We are at the point of talking about divorce now because we can't get on track in our marriage anymore. It breaking my heart.
I am so sorry to hear this and thank you for feeling safe to share here. This is a place where broken people come to find the healing God has available for you. My encouragement to you is never to give up! Have you considered an intensive? This is a great route for deep healing to take place in both spouses that will lay a new foundation of trust and faithfulness. I’m glad you can see how the actions of controlling only make things worse in the long run, yet it’s a trap that is so easy to fall into. Keep following along this series as we share the real why behind the unfaithfulness in our marriage. You and your spouse will find so many questions answered and healing will begin. May God bless and restore your marriage in Jesus name!
Still listening... But so far, I have a couple things to say: 1. I do not understand the thrill of lying. I've never felt that want/like of lies or secrets. 2. Why do people keep saying "no one can make you feel anything"? I understand that we have the power to control our feelings but that takes a lot of effort esp when living in the bad situation or circumstance - like betrayal in marriage. You can make someone feel something by what you do or say. 3. I was exposed to sexual images via telenovelas - it was sex scenes where women had their shirt/blouse taken off and they were in their bra. Then the scene cut to something else. That was enough for me to fantasize and develop lust since the age of 5. I didn't understand it and it made me feel good ad guilty at the same time. Because of that I wasted so much time growing up and I could not concentrate on anything because my mind would go straight into lustful fantasies. I want to be caraeful with my kids because I don't want them to have their minds in bondage to something so distorted.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and questions here! This is a safe place to ask and share! First, if you think back to the first time you saw pornographic material, are you able to see the strong desire to look, yet the thrill of not telling anyone about it. This is the “thrill” we are referring to. It’s the desire to do something against our nature and it doesn’t feel good afterwards. It feels awful. That’s the thrill of sin, yet it leaves us feeling worse than before. Next, the reason we say “you don’t MAKE me feel” is because I am the only one who has control of my feelings and what I feel, however, yes you are correct that other people’s actions have a huge impact on our hearts and emotions. The more whole and complete I am, the less others can impact my emotions because I am more in control of them. Those who have zero control of their emotions allow others to impact their emotions leaving them a victim to others actions and behaviors. The more whole and complete I am, the more I can see that others, and the way they behave, have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. This allows me to keep my heart from being impacted. I hope that makes sense. It’s kind of complicated to share in text. But we are taught in this world that others “make” us feel certain ways and this leaves us victims in life to how others choose to show up. We live an empowered life! May God bless you and thank you for watching it all the way through! I pray you got a lot of insight and understanding!
Thanks for the question. I was a coward and did not confess. I wanted to. I was trying to find the way to do it for about 8 months and she discovered my unfaithfulness. I regret this and wish I would have been personally responsible for my words and actions that violated our covenant of marriage and told her. Truth is freedom!
Is that what it does in headphones? I’ll have to look deeper into this and I apologize for it driving you insane! That is definitely not what our goal is! 😞
You are right, I just listened and had no idea! 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll chat with our editor to find out what the link is that would solve this issue. Thanks for bringing it to light!!
@@TheNobleMarriage I said that at the beginning and it ended up being such good content that I listened the whole way through and stopped noticing. You guys are amazing. First time listener.
Oh thank you for sharing this with me! I was concerned it would be taking away from what the Holy Spirit might be trying to say through us! I’m grateful you found value in listening even though it was frustrating at first. We just started this podcast and still working out the audio/video kinks. Thanks for your patience and I pray a blessing over you and your relationship!
The content, truth, and transparency of your episode is such a blessing. You all keep this up!!! Don't let anyone discourage you from sharing as you have!
Thank you so much! God bless you and your relationship. We appreciate your acknowledgment and support!
Blessings 💛
love that! When you give someone that power in relationship then you remove your responsibility!
Yes!! Dropping truth bombs today!! Thanks for joining us Kate! We appreciate your support!
Omg yes!!! Certain actions and behaviors of my spouse definitely caused me to want to "control " the situation, which my actions were trying to control him. By trying to control him and make sure there were boundaries, I thought it could control any negative actions on his part and that made him feel even stronger to push back against me and started this vicious cycle between us over the last 5 years... Everything I hear you two saying is just so familiar. I have tried to do all these things to rebuild trust lost..but i dont feel he can live with boundaries and safeguards because he is still doing things he KNOWS he shouldn't be doing to protect our marriage.
We are at the point of talking about divorce now because we can't get on track in our marriage anymore. It breaking my heart.
I am so sorry to hear this and thank you for feeling safe to share here. This is a place where broken people come to find the healing God has available for you. My encouragement to you is never to give up! Have you considered an intensive? This is a great route for deep healing to take place in both spouses that will lay a new foundation of trust and faithfulness. I’m glad you can see how the actions of controlling only make things worse in the long run, yet it’s a trap that is so easy to fall into.
Keep following along this series as we share the real why behind the unfaithfulness in our marriage. You and your spouse will find so many questions answered and healing will begin. May God bless and restore your marriage in Jesus name!
I can relate to that 100% .
Thanks for sharing! Which part did you relate to the most?
Still listening... But so far, I have a couple things to say:
1. I do not understand the thrill of lying. I've never felt that want/like of lies or secrets.
2. Why do people keep saying "no one can make you feel anything"? I understand that we have the power to control our feelings but that takes a lot of effort esp when living in the bad situation or circumstance - like betrayal in marriage. You can make someone feel something by what you do or say.
3. I was exposed to sexual images via telenovelas - it was sex scenes where women had their shirt/blouse taken off and they were in their bra. Then the scene cut to something else. That was enough for me to fantasize and develop lust since the age of 5. I didn't understand it and it made me feel good ad guilty at the same time. Because of that I wasted so much time growing up and I could not concentrate on anything because my mind would go straight into lustful fantasies. I want to be caraeful with my kids because I don't want them to have their minds in bondage to something so distorted.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and questions here! This is a safe place to ask and share!
First, if you think back to the first time you saw pornographic material, are you able to see the strong desire to look, yet the thrill of not telling anyone about it. This is the “thrill” we are referring to. It’s the desire to do something against our nature and it doesn’t feel good afterwards. It feels awful. That’s the thrill of sin, yet it leaves us feeling worse than before.
Next, the reason we say “you don’t MAKE me feel” is because I am the only one who has control of my feelings and what I feel, however, yes you are correct that other people’s actions have a huge impact on our hearts and emotions. The more whole and complete I am, the less others can impact my emotions because I am more in control of them. Those who have zero control of their emotions allow others to impact their emotions leaving them a victim to others actions and behaviors. The more whole and complete I am, the more I can see that others, and the way they behave, have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. This allows me to keep my heart from being impacted. I hope that makes sense. It’s kind of complicated to share in text. But we are taught in this world that others “make” us feel certain ways and this leaves us victims in life to how others choose to show up. We live an empowered life!
May God bless you and thank you for watching it all the way through! I pray you got a lot of insight and understanding!
I'm curious how the secret was found out. Did you confess or did your wife end up discovering evidence?
Thanks for the question. I was a coward and did not confess. I wanted to. I was trying to find the way to do it for about 8 months and she discovered my unfaithfulness.
I regret this and wish I would have been personally responsible for my words and actions that violated our covenant of marriage and told her. Truth is freedom!
Omg this audio of one person in each ear is driving me INSANE with headphones!!! 🤣 terrible
Is that what it does in headphones? I’ll have to look deeper into this and I apologize for it driving you insane! That is definitely not what our goal is! 😞
You are right, I just listened and had no idea! 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll chat with our editor to find out what the link is that would solve this issue. Thanks for bringing it to light!!
@@TheNobleMarriage I said that at the beginning and it ended up being such good content that I listened the whole way through and stopped noticing. You guys are amazing. First time listener.
Oh thank you for sharing this with me! I was concerned it would be taking away from what the Holy Spirit might be trying to say through us! I’m grateful you found value in listening even though it was frustrating at first. We just started this podcast and still working out the audio/video kinks. Thanks for your patience and I pray a blessing over you and your relationship!