Your Mortgage Makes You Act Right | Chris Rock: Total Blackout
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
- There's nothing like a good mortgage, and hell hath no fury like a bad one. Chris Rock: Total Blackout is now streaming with 25 minutes of all-new material, only on Netflix.
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“If you have 739 credit score, you ain’t killing nobody.” ☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣
i don't know about that
That rich dude in Las Vegas would disagree lol
@@johnniewalker877 Right? Somebody will come by to fuck up the stereotype. All the mass murderers were white, then here comes Richard Ramirez.
@@johnniewalker877 don't overthink the humor. It's aimed squarely at the middle class.
@@RonJohn63 tbh man idk what a medium credit score is. I know 100 is terrible but 800 is great. But nobody ever taught me how the score affects my ability to secure different size loans.
Will Smith clearly paid off his mortgage🤣
I wondered how many people came here after the academy awards.
LOL
hahahahaha
Keep my mortgage out your f-in mouth!
He couldn't smack back cuz he thought of his mortgage. 🤭
Chris been rich for 20 plus years but can still relate to regular people. Dudes amazing
All top comedians have writers too, it surely helps. He is a master at delivering jokes.
@@PaulFaucon Wrong! not stand up comedians. You're talking about people who host shows. That my friend is not stand up.
I love him. He’s so funny!
Very true
Sounds like he’s mocking pple when you put it that way.
Chris talking about people slapping other people is even more hilarious now
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
It was never funny to begin with.
this race is a disgrace
Yeah, anger issues are HILARIOUS.
Good 1
Chris Rock is a fucking wizard of comedy. He smacks me in the face with his jokes and I laugh. He's been around for 30 years...idk but he never misses a fucking step.
hear hear
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@@chrisrock1270 lol ...
Dude this just aged incredibly well
"Smacks me in the face." Oooooh lawdy.
"You get a bad mortgage, you watching Delirious on VCR", hilarious 😂😂🤣
How about " get your eyebrow done one at a time."
That's poor women style.
That one got me. lmaooo
🤣🤣yeah the the sug knight mortgages part
@@SeatonRyan I was wearing my headsets while I was watching, when he said the Suge knight part I bust out loud. God I could n't hold it. 🤣🤣🤣
Delirious is GOAT comedy though.
Mortgage is a French word meaning “death contract”
Im bilingual (English + French) and that never even occured to me 😂
Lol that’s funny
It comes from Latin, with “Mort” meaning death, and “gage” meaning “until”. So, until death LOL
Thanks for answering my first question you know what you did
OMG J'avais jamais réalisé!
Chris: "How many times you been ready to smack the shit out of somebody at work?"
Will: "I can think of one time..."
ok
You ain't neva lied, Chris!!! 💯 That damn mortgage... and them kids. 🤣
Amen to that...
You mean kids that you CHOSE to have?
@@torachan23 Yep...and the mortgage I chose to have. Did you miss the point? It's comedy.
@@chriscynthiachambers4748 how are you doing?
I feel sorry for your kids. At the same time I realize that 90% of parents are just like you but they don't even have the balls to admit it. But sometimes they have and they admit it right to their kids screwing up their whole lives💀
Your house is lookin at you like, “where’s my money bitch?” 😂😂😂😂
Rock and Chapelle just exist on a different level when it comes to stand up easily the two best
A great comedy triple bill would be Rock, Chappelle, and Bill Burr.
And Bill Burr
Exactly
My Goats are Rock and Burr
I saw them both in Phoenix last month. Really enjoyed it
This couldn't have been timed more perfectly. 🤣🙏
I was looking for a comment like this
😂😂😂😂
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
"They all live with their mothers" being the imperative statement here.
You know what’s better than a “good mortgage”? NO MORTGAGE.
Especially one that is paid off that brings in residual payments that will cover property taxes and pads the portfolio.
100% FACTS
@@rm5282 your reply is super broad and you’re over-simplifying it. What if the cash that was used to pay off the property was invested in T Bills of which the compounded interest would eventually yield a higher Cash on Cash return (especially since T Bills are cash equivalents) as opposed to downgrading your cash into equity and relying on that investment, that has significantly greater risks, such as non payment or lien against property, which will give you weak returns to begin with?
@@thatisabsolutelykooooge2211 treasury bills are a very safe investment with fixed rates of interest. They are sold in in increments of $1000 - $5M. Whiles they're backed by the government they pay lousy returns. A paid off home 3/2 home with two car garage can gross an average of $1500 per month in lease payments. It's not a guarantee but owning property is better than owning government paper. Look at the tbill rates and tell me if you believe it's a real money maker in today's market. I over simplified my statement because it was predicated off the original statement.
A couple of things you did not include in your statement:
1.) How much did the owner pay for the property?
2.) Where is the property located and what's the going rate per sqft for rent in the area?
3.) How many T- Bills would it take to reach the same earning potential of the rental property?
4.) What would be the cost to profit ratio of continuing to pay a mortgage while earning measly rate of return on the T-bill.
You made a very general statement too, so you better put up some boards around your glass house before tossing rocks.
@@rm5282 I think the last year has shown some of the volatility of the housing market again to people. Some places people fled from in high numbers and others they fled to. Housing markets benefited greatly in some areas but also depreciated greatly in many other areas. Housing is always at least somewhat of a gamble and also requires constant proper maintenance and involvement. T-bills are closer to like a 401k option where there are better investments but they are pretty set and forget and unless some serious shit goes down that's going to fuck you anyways it's going to be there. But yes, general statements :P. Finances are nothing if not complex. If making good ROIs was easy everyone would do it :P.
You don’t own the house, the house owns you.
Well said! Mortgages are a trap!
He can make the mundane and the serious so funny. Mortgages and guns.
Actually I think he may have something here. Gun ownership becomes a lot more expensive.
Exactly bro
@@aznsbd some of the crazies out there own enough guns to buy a house in cash. I am a gun owner too so believe me I know some of them.
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"you gotta watch Delirious on VCR"
that was golden 🤣🤣
Lol “you’re lucky I’m trying to refinance”
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That's why you wait to slap their ass AFTER you've signed everything!
Lol
I got my loan today. Since I got the loan approved, waiting for all papers to be completed at a snails pace, the rate have gone up 0,5%. I relate to this deeply and furiously.
"Where's my money bitch" was delivered so perfectly my sides hurt from laughing too much😂😂💀
aint that the truth
Honestly Chris should be and would be an effective politician/leader. He sees the reality of our daily lives and humor is his gift.
“Eyebrows done ☑️ one at a time” lol 😂
"Hell hath no fury like a bad mortgage."😂😂
This is why we need comedians. Chris Rock is on to something with this!
He really fucking is...
#SeanCHristopherHowrd###!!!#SnoopDogg###!!!#Eminem###!!!#popSmokes###!!!#mightymouse###!!!#NEWPORTNEWS###!!!#ChrisRock###!!!
I feel less smart by watching this. But not as less smart as i feel after watching my videos
Yes, cause it’s true! Ask anyone with a balloon rate that hit the roof and they couldn’t get out of it fast enough
He ain’t on to shit
Turns out, Will Smith didn't have a mortgage.
No...he owns acres and properties 🥴
He is too rich to have a mortgage.
😂😢😮😅😊
😅😅😅😅
True or absolutely true?...Chris Rock definitely is one of those comedians that can do stand ups, tv sitcoms and movies. It's rare that every comedian can check all that list. And excel.
U are right I seen Joe Rogan stand up he is not very good he should never do stand up
He can do Excel too? Damn
Dan Smith Rogan is a better UFC commentator than comedian. Rock on the other hand is a legend
As true as this is, Donald Glover is a worthy successor.
Yeah but can he do Word or PowerPoint? Idk
My dad is the nicest, easiest going man. A black dude slapped my father at work 40+ years ago. My father thinks he was trying to impress white co-workers. He said he saw a metal pipe within arms reach and thought about hitting him. He didn't. I asked my father what stopped him. He gave me a look like 'duh'. He simply said "I had a wife and five kids to take care of". I thought, now that's a man. We need to remember how hard life can be for black people, especially men. For all the family, home should always be a sanctuary, a haven from the hell that can be waiting outside. But always treat the man of the house with respect, if he is deserving. You may be the only one who does. And let him have the big piece of chicken.
Amen ... one of the reasons I work too. I really think my husband has less stress because he knows in the back of his mind that I got his back and if he has to knock a MF out, we will still in the same house and eat because I save the majority of my salary and could take over bills if he lost his jobZzz
@@saritamoorebansa4485 Sounds like you and your husband have a great partnership and worthy goals and I'm sure it's a comfort to him to have a woman that lets him be the man, yet always has his back.
You sound very wise. I always said that if I married, I'd want my husband to provide a home and heat, at minimum. It wouldn't have to be fancy, necessarily, but something the person with the lower salary could handle comfortably. And ideally, we'd use my earnings for saving, investing, wealth building, business ventures, etc. That way, if anything ever happened, we'd be okay.
@JSL I know the guy wasn't fired, but I believe that God won't let those types of situations go unpunished, unless the person repents. But when I did job training, I would share this story, not that anyone should allow abuse, but like you said to learn how to keep yourself in check and not lose sight if the bigger picture. Had a young girl at church, on her first job, either her manager or a co-worker flat spit in her face. She didn't retaliate. Went through the proper channels. Handled it in a godly and professional way. I was soooo proud of her. She was only like 17. She didn't even have a mortgage or kids of her own yet.
Bless your Daddy for his restraint.
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"please, please, I'm just tryna fix this basement" omg! That was me but with my roof!😂 I'm literally crying right now!!!
lol....for real! It's my roof and 2 new ac units i'm pining for. Lawd....pa-lease! Got 17 yrs on this house and for the last 3 summers, the AC situation is just that...a situation👀. I play the how long can we go before I absolutely have to turn it on....and I live in TEXAS🤪. It's 84 degrees in this beast right now. I've got this fan on me and we gon call that good! Oooh wee...one day at a time sweet Jesus!
Chris making us look old talking about mortgages. I remember when he was the fresh new kid on the block. 😂😂
Rock has the same type of magic as Carlin did, not to compare the two necessarily, but themes that resonate with the actual lives of his audience. I guess they call it observational comedy. He also isn't afraid to poke fun at EVERYONE. Always been a favorite.
Sug knight mortgages ( sneak up on yah ) 🤣🤣🤣
Will Smith should've thought harder about that mortgage.
Chris should be like "where's my money bitch!?"
@@seemoon7652 Chris Gonna hit them pockets for sure!!! Will And The Academy! Ase
Lol...Chris Rock is legit one of the few stand ups that can make me burst out laughing anymore. He gets it.
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One of the greatest stand up comedians of all time.
Agreed!
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Really?
Love how he referenced one of his older bits at the end. 😂
Love Tony Rock, his routine about smoking green with your fat friends is hilarious.
0 tablets,a p
Pookie 😆
Fucking hilarious n spot on
Wait you mean Delirious? That's Eddie Murphy
People don't realize the origins of the word "mortgage." It comes from Latin and Old French, and basically translates to "death pledge." Other words related are mortality, mortuary, mortician, morgue, postmortem, mortal, mortified, rigor mortis, etc. In many cases it truly is a case of 'til death due you part.
I have a mortgage... truer words have never been spoken...
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So true...I almost quit my job two years ago because I was really upset with my boss...but then I remembered my wife loves her house 🏠 so I am still in the same job 🤦🏾♂️
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🤣😂🤣😂
😂😂😂ma man. You just killed me
God bless you sir.
Figure out how to do both; quit the job and keep the house.
Yeah, it's called financial slavery.
Or gate you with $300K price tag
Or working for what you need? Should it all be free? Absolutely not.
Definitely agree... although our Americans amendments are our country’s fundamentals and what we all are today
Indentured servitude. Slavery doesn't have a due date.
@Chizzy Meka Ok Ron Swanson
Two years ago I wanted to quit my job that I was in... But; I had plans on refinancing my home. (That comment hit home)
He has a point! It’s called skin in the game. But we should use the same thing for voting. If the gov isn’t taking 30% of your pay then no voting for you!!
1:42 That question was for you, Will 😂
“A layer of KRISPY on my hand!” 😂😂😂
"These people don't know how to use me".."My skills are going to waste"🚮😁
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Chris Rock is a legend man 😂
Damn. he got millions but he still knows what a mortgage feels like
That’s how you know someone is humble.
You have to remember he's house is probably $20 million 💵 so, he definitely has to watch his back.
"You gonna have your eyebrows done one at time " That punchline 😂
🤣🤣Suge Knight Mortgages🤣
Love me some Chris Rock! He's hilarious
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Mortgage is French for : “Death Pledge” mort=death / gage=pledge
This means you have pledged and enslaved your life to a bank... lol
It’s funny that it’s not funny.
If you smart you can easily get rich off a home
Oui, c'est vrai! "Death Contract." 😳
Not quite. The "death" isn't for you, but for the "pledge." In other words, "mortgage" is better translated as "until death of the pledge." It's named like that because until you pay off your loan (i.e. the pledge), your house can be taken by the lender. Once the loan "dies" (when you pay it off), the lender no longer can claim your house. That's why we say you "mortgaged" your house: you're putting it up as collateral until your loan is paid.
@@alexanderkim4889 yours is one interpretation and there are many we can all come up with. But what I’m pointing to is a more direct understanding of the origins of the French word to its most simplest and significance.
@@SolReaver No it's not just oneinterpretation, it's THE interpretation for why and how the word is used. "Death pledge" is the literal translation, but the connotation is wrong because in the original French legal term, it's meant in the way I explained: a pledge that dies when an obligation is met.
What's so funny is Chris Rock speaks real life stuff, that the everyday person can relate to. Hilarious 😆
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I guess Will Smith must not have a morgage anymore....😂
Or needs one
$800 million in the bank and plenty of song royalties. Probably.
Netflix, please, for the love of everything good in life, stop having quiet ass videos and then blasting your outro music.
I think they do it deliberately...
quiet*
@@darrenfitzpatrick6490 I.. Am so ashamed in myself 😭
@@darrenfitzpatrick6490 quit*
Effing right!!
I just want to strangle them.
But the moron directors prolly think they are being very artistic.
Autistic is more like it.
You're Lucky I'm trying to refinance ......LOL...
.
Chris is brilliant and extremely underrated, despite how popular he is. Mort-gage is a death contract, translated literally. They are necessary for most people but a scam in reality. The house ends up costing twice as much by the time it’s paid off.
Paying rent is still worse, esp if you're paying a comparable amount either way. In the city, a mortgage is still a better route than paying rent.
2:30 I guess Will Smith wasn't trying to refinance
About Will Smith's credit score...
He's talking about how will smacked him 🤣😂 he knew the future
LOL, for real. This set was made for me!!! God has shined His light in me.
mortgage makes you a good person. by the time you finish paying mortgage, your old anyway. its basically a invinsible jail
Who knew Chris Rock was THIS funny! I really enjoyed this. Thank you Netflix
Everybody knew, that’s why he’s been famous since the 90s
UMMM EVERYBODY
@@Britt3334 🙄
@@alanai1981 great! 🙄
A great comedian reads your mind and says what you're thinking when you're too afraid to say it. A genius comedian like Rock actually teaches you something you didn't already consider.
Apparently, Will Smith needs a mortgage.
Chris has the best gun control ideas. Why doesn’t anyone take notice ?
It’s sounds like a joke but this is what adults think.
It sounds like a joke but it's true! LOL
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I guess Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
100% true. I don't have a mortgage and I have quit on a dime before.
Chris Rock don’t got no damn Mortgage 😂
🤣🤣 right lol 😆
How do yall kno?
@@truffle6082 its chris rock lmao he definitely bought his house for the full price tag
@@dbboykid10
Why would he do that it makes no sense.
@@dbboykid10 I highly doubt it, for tax reasons anyone that is good with their money doesn't pay off their house fully
Watching this as I’m going through a refinance lol.. I definitely ain’t killin nobody haha!
I love how he dropped those sly Cheap Pete and Pookie references in this bit.
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Shug knight mortgage 😂
I know that's right!! Haha 😂
"The mortgage make you act right"!! Yessss that part. LOL😂😂
So simple...having a mortgage as a prerequisite to getting a gun licence. Genius idea 💡
Like Bullet Control
He's not wrong about the mortgage making you act right
Hell has no fury like a bad mortgage 😂🤣🤣. He ain't lying. Get ya eyebrows done one at a time. Im 💀
love love his voice
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Shug knight mortgage 🤣🤣☠️
Chris Rock knows how to put issues into perspective 😂
Chris Rock one of d best prominent comedians in 30 + years to really capture d reality of everyday people n skillfully put it out .......in ironic n paradoxical content.
1:44
Apparently Will Smith does not have a mortgage
By that definition of a bad mortgage, I got one, and won't even have a house when I'm done! Call it debt.
That man ain’t lying!! 🤣🤣
Very nice, it's like an updated bit on his old joke about bullet control. Very clever.
Damn, i have forgotten about that joke. I was about to write that 20 years ago then realised it will be 30 years soon.
Gotta ADMIT.... HE, s not LYING 😀
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It's all fact yet, funny.
1:42 well I guess everyone knows what I’m thinking
The only person a man with a mortgage would use a gun on - is himself.
3:09
Good mortgage: lets you buy sh&t
Bad mortgage: doesnt even let you take sh&t
Moral of the story; Don't own a house, don't get a mortgage.
yep get a G**
No key is become financial literate so u can invest better there are plenty of poor people with no houses while rich people have the most houses n property
No, moral is check for guns like mortgage background check
No get a small mortgage.
@@richardramfire3971 or rent and use your money to buy stocks
Clearly Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage 1:42
As someone who is going through the process of buying AND re-financing, this is So True.
Not the "Suge Knight' mortgage...daaaaaamn!
Bad mortgage = House broke
Don’t try to keep up with the Jone’s...stay within your budget.
You're only broke if you have a house you cant afford. My mortgage is under 1100 where an apartment half the size of my house costs 1300 to rent
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guess will smith aint got no mortgage
Forget guns. My mortgage keeps me faithful.
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Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
Why is the volume on every one of these clips so much quieter than every other video on youtube? >
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Imagine if this was a law, I'd have a trailer park home right now. 🤭
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Bad Shuge night mortgages lol.
Mortgage is the only thing keeping me in check 😅😂
I guess Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage 🤣