I lost my mother, it was the most devastating thing I have ever felt, I couldn't talk to anyone to help me. But one thing I learnt from it, they never truly die. You will hear their voice when you ask a question. Not their real voice of course, that would be crazy, but you know what they are saying. You are never alone. 💕
Firstly, you are very brave for posting this painful experience that you endured. I recognise everything that you have described in my own past, although my parents were close to each other and it was my father that died in distressing circumstances when I was in my teens. The details of his death aren’t important in this context, but I can recall every part of your story in my own experience at that time. As it happens, all my immediate family died when I was young. Of course, we move beyond these events, we heal, but they are always present and they have such a powerful effect on our emotional response that they can influence us and stop us developing. I can only describe how it affected me; I have a daughter the same age as you now. I would say that the raw emotion and, to some extent, guilt that I felt left me anxious. Anxious to do well for my father’s memory, anxious about new experiences, relationships or changes in my life that might lead again to the unbearable pain that I felt when he died. My teenage behaviours are there for a reason, they kept me safe in my formative years, but as we develop adult skills it is important that our teenage fears become comforted by our adult experience. Teenage solutions to life, the behaviour you describe after your mother’s tragic death, became my default response to every situation when I was your age. I had to practice for many years at recognising the physical symptoms of anxiety that arise when I anticipate danger. This recognition strengthens my adult response and calms the fearful child that will always be part of me. It was hard for me to rebalance my child and adult parts without the support of someone I entirely trusted. It is a huge burden to place on someone, so sometimes a therapist is the better option.
I lost my mother, it was the most devastating thing I have ever felt, I couldn't talk to anyone to help me. But one thing I learnt from it, they never truly die. You will hear their voice when you ask a question. Not their real voice of course, that would be crazy, but you know what they are saying. You are never alone. 💕
you're so strong, your mum is watching you everyday and she couldn't be more proud of you!
Firstly, you are very brave for posting this painful experience that you endured.
I recognise everything that you have described in my own past, although my parents were close to each other and it was my father that died in distressing circumstances when I was in my teens.
The details of his death aren’t important in this context, but I can recall every part of your story in my own experience at that time. As it happens, all my immediate family died when I was young.
Of course, we move beyond these events, we heal, but they are always present and they have such a powerful effect on our emotional response that they can influence us and stop us developing.
I can only describe how it affected me; I have a daughter the same age as you now. I would say that the raw emotion and, to some extent, guilt that I felt left me anxious. Anxious to do well for my father’s memory, anxious about new experiences, relationships or changes in my life that might lead again to the unbearable pain that I felt when he died.
My teenage behaviours are there for a reason, they kept me safe in my formative years, but as we develop adult skills it is important that our teenage fears become comforted by our adult experience. Teenage solutions to life, the behaviour you describe after your mother’s tragic death, became my default response to every situation when I was your age.
I had to practice for many years at recognising the physical symptoms of anxiety that arise when I anticipate danger. This recognition strengthens my adult response and calms the fearful child that will always be part of me.
It was hard for me to rebalance my child and adult parts without the support of someone I entirely trusted. It is a huge burden to place on someone, so sometimes a therapist is the better option.
Big hug my love! 🥺❤️❤️❤️
thankyou!!!!
wow you help me thankyou
you are beuatiful