Why do I call myself Mind Blind? | Five Sense Aphantasia
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2022
- Aphantasia, also known as Mind blindness is the inability to visualize in your mind's eye. I'm a total aphant or 5 sense aphant, meaning I can't use any of the senses in my mind.
This is not a medical channel, I am not giving out medical advice, just my personal experience. And everyone with these neurodivergencies will have their own unique experiences.
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So interesting to hear you describe Aphantasia because I never realized what being mind blind meant.
Thanks for sharing.
This is fascinating. Thank you so much for making the video. A while ago, an artist I know wrote something on their Patreon about being aphantasic. She is a very good artist, and she is aphantasic. As she described her method of work, and her method of composition, it was the first time I'd heard anyone describing something that resembled how I work. (A short and very simplified summary might be: I get the materials in my hands, I look at them, and they suggest something, and we go from there. It's not so much composing as it is noticing and then emphasizing.) It was so good to find someone talking about it because it explained why for so long I was frustrated with art classes in school. Art classes were taught by phantasics! (is that a word?) Taught by people who were used to imagining a thing in their head and then going to find appropriate materials to make that thing. And I could not imagine designs in my head. The closest I came would be making random marks or combinations of colors on paper or canvas and then improvising from whatever came out. (Now I work in 3D, and the. materials suggest things and I cooperate with them, and call it co-creation, because it's me and the materials and the chance moment that brought us together.) Having written all this, I really hope it makes some sense. What I most want to say is THANK YOU for discussing aphantasia. Thank you.
I've heard us referred to as Aphants. Although Phantastics sounds more superhero-Y! Lol.. The superpower to be Mindblind! Haha. Not super useful? Unless maybe dealing with unpleasant things often at work and when you come home you can not relive the images in your head. But I'm getting off track. Yes, it'd be so awesome to have an art lass with aphants as the focal point. What a unique experience that would be!
Aah! I'm also a drawer painter who had a poop time in art classes. I have the aphanta thing (I cannot spell it ever) too and I can't see anything in my head or I can but it's very, very vague. I use my sense of touch and feel the space the thing makes to draw. The phantasics as you call them have no idea what I mean 😂
For example when I draw a person I remember my body and how my face feels and my posture etc etc to draw the emotion. Also I draw on a sense of a thing for my music as well. I'm scared of 3D art on PC because of all this. I excelled in ceramics in HS though.
I’m 42 and I just learned about this. It’s such an interesting condition that I never knew existed.
When I think of a car, not only do I see a car, I can mentally break down all the individual parts and visualize the internal workings. I can see the gasoline pumping into the engine, the combustion, all the way down the the wheels turning.
I searched on this topic because I had a young engineer intern following me all summer. There were some mechanical concepts that I tried explaining to him and he just didn’t understand. Then I realized that if I drew a diagram, he totally understood it. It turns out he is an extremely intelligent individual, it’s just his mind picture things in 2D and not 3D.
But, I’m now questioning what it means to have a human mind. One concept that I’ve heard a lot is that humans are self-aware. I always thought that self-aware is not just looking into a mirror and understanding that the image that we see is ourselves. It may also mean having a 3rd person perspective image of ourselves looking into the mirror. My mind forms an image OF myself looking AT myself in the mirror, if that makes sense. Now I’m leaning that not everyone human may be doing that.
That last part of forming an image of yourself is particularly interesting to me. I can't visualize my own self at all. I recognize myself in photos/mirror but I can't see what I look like in my head.
you may have Hyperphantasia then
I hate labels miss mind blind
I felt like a test specimen since I was officially diagnosed with the A-label.
The question they made me was "why are you like this, you are doing this on purpose, you aren't Crazy"
My answer would have been "dunno, no, dunno" 🥺
I didn't cry when my mom passed away, then last year my dad did too. No tears. Some people think it's a question of trying to make me cry, not respecting the way I manage my fLIcking suffering.
Why are they like this?
Their answer is "because it's the correct way"
🤔🤬
I don't know what the A label is. You commented this on a video about aphantasia, so is that what you're talking about? Neither Aphantasia or Autism are bad. They are just variety of the human experience. I love my autistic brain although, sometimes I do wish I could see pictures in my mind. Labels as you call them, help me understand myself. But if you don't identify with a label, shuck it away. If it doesn't help then don't own it. I'm proudly Autistic though.
After watching this, I’m now considering getting checked for myself to see if I have aphantasia. I didn’t know that was a thing, I just thought that I wasn’t good at imagining things and I didn’t know that neurotypical people can actually smell and taste things that they imagine in their heads, that’s very interesting. Very mind blowing to find out this information🤯 Thank you so much sharing this information with us and along with all your other video content as well, Amanda!😄
Aphantasia isn't in any diagnostic manuals, it's still being researched. It's pretty easy to tell if you have it though. You can either visualize or not. It is a spectrum and some people say they can visualize vague outlines. I think at that point it just depends if the level of visualizing can help or not in your life. Like I have to use a GPS because not being able to visualize.
For me the more familiar I am with something (like Mom or my bunny) the more I remember but when they're not there at all (like my bunny who passed last year) it gets harder to remember and have the memories.
Hang on a sec...some people can conjure up the actual taste or smell of something? Without the flavor or aroma being present? To me, this sounds like the exception to the rule. I don't think I know anyone who can do this (including myself). Maybe I'm misunderstanding.
I love the statement that you and others have made about fining your car in a parking lot or driving when you have Aphantasia. What you need a picture to find your car? No I use a reference, a landmark, a lot sign to find my car. Now I still often have to search around bit because the reference is just an approximation.
Thank you for this fantastic explanation. Listening to you, I get the impression that people with aphantasia (a certain dysfunction of episodic memory) use their semantic memory to compensate. In theory, this could also be advantage when it comes to data related knowledge creation, because you train that more than others.
Possibly. I'm still learning about it all. I'm posting another SDAM video on Friday.
Taste aphantasia might actually be a huge plus. The idea of fasting your favorite food or drink every day, and every time it’s like the first time, honestly sounds kind of amazing.
Of course I haven’t experienced this, so maybe I’m missing a big negative to it. Actually, now that I think about it, the opposite must be equally horrifying, especially with SDAM, if you keep forgetting that you hate something but everyday somehow end up subjecting yourself to it.
In any case, this is so interesting. Thank you for sharing!
Haha! I do sort of forget the flavors I hate. Like I can't stand beer. I know this. But everytime I'm with my friend who likes to try crazy micro breweries I have to taste her beer. Then I'm like, "nope, still hate it." But I can never remember what it tastes like or why I don't like it.
Wow is good to see another who has five sense aphantasia. I always find it hard to describe to people what its like, I know everything but I can't remember it until I experience it again. I tend to re experience things I know I dislike just to remember why I do. I made it to 40 without realizing people do things I can't. I tell people I know things happened in the past but I can't tell you anything about them other then it happened. But is good to know another that has totalaphant. And I am always happy, guess when you can't remember the bad things or think about them you tend to just be happier.
It sounds like you may also have SDAM too. It's a memory disorder often associated with people who have Aphantasia, especially multisensory aphantasia. I have videos up on the channel about it too.
Also, I don't remember (haha) if I said it in this video, but yes, I often will taste beer just to remind myself why I don't like it. I can't remember its taste just that everytime I've ever had beer or coffee for that matter I hate it. And same with flavors I do love. It's hard to just walk past a piece of chocolate because I KNOW I like it but can't remember what it tastes like or feels like in my mouth and I want to re-experience it.
@@i.am.mindblind I honestly think we're happy cause everything is like a new experience but at the same time knowing everything about it when we do. I'll have to look into SDAM an watch your video's, I honestly can't remember anything unless reminded then I remember but is more a I know it happened but can't remember anything about it. I lost track of my friends talking about things we did an I can't remember any of it, but I know that it did happen.
@@Von_Bernkastel Yep, that sounds surface level very much like SDAM. Let me know after you look into it more!
God, I kinda knew I was aphantasic, but I struggle to navigate the subject because it's difficult to explain - or even know yourself what is 'normal' and what's not. But you explain it so well, and I'm the same in every way, the lack or memories from my past, loving foods but not physically remembering how they taste, living for the present and not thinking about the future. It's me!
Why are aphantasia people always happy? I watched more and got my answers, it's because you naturally live in the now ❤
I do think of myself as a happy person, but I do get a range of emotions including sadness. But being in the present and appreciating what I have in the moment helps I think!
@@i.am.mindblind definitely, you should read the power of now, your a natural.
hmm. I have an easier time visualizing rough shapes after a brain injury (go figure) and I can imagine noises somewhat but I don't think that makes me more or less NOW than neurotypicals ..... I can have endless amounts of text going through my head often several levels simultaneously.
As to driving-this may be the Aphantasia and memory condition (SDAM which I now think that I have, and I have autism and ADHA), I was driving to work, and I shifted around my lans a little bit (I was adjusting my cell phone) and the local constable thinking that he had a DWI case (thinking of all that OT pay that he would receive-my brother a retired police officer informed me about the process) pulled my over. He started asking me about my driving over the last moment to two. Now, since I have Aphantasia, I do not have a mental video recording of my last 1-2 min of driving to review, and since I strongly suspect that I also have SDAM I do not mentally record most events as I pass them such as driving. So I had some difficulty remembering the past 1-2 min of driving. I said "I don't know", he did not like that and realizing that he did not have a DWI let me go with a stern warning. This a solid example of what I say to my wife that I really dislike most NTs except her and my kids. Since I do not really remember my driving, living in the moment, and only having mostly a semantic memory, I don't easily recall or at all the past few moments of events. I can tell you what I was thinking, but not much more. I think the likely SDAM can account for much of this example!
I have no visual imagination, good audial and the rest are almost zero. But I experience strong "feelings" memory. For example, with fall, I can remember the feeling of it, which I love, and it will bring me joy. But the mindblind thing - 100%
LOL and all the time I thought that was normal. Counting sheep, that means counting in your mind! What you actually see the sheep-how. Now I can dream with vivid imagery but as I transition to wake state the images dissolve away with in a few seconds. Our sleep system uses different parts of the brain. So even with Aphantasia you can dream with images. Once awake the only thing in my head are my thoughts and nothing else. So eating your favorite food is always a treat.
I did a video on Aphantasia and dreams! ua-cam.com/video/Z0X2z5P25_s/v-deo.html
Wowww, super interesting and thought provoking. I don't think my experience is the same, but it ... makes me wonder about how these do work for me. Dang.
It's so fun to come across someone who hasn't heard of aphantasia. Whether they have it or not, it really makes you think and realize how differently all our brains are!
I think I'm similar, at least with taste, because like I like certain Taco Bell foods just because I like the taste of them. I know I like them, but I don't experience the taste of them again when I think about them.
The taste one I think is more common, but I'm not sure. But apparently a lot of people use that mind-taste when they get cravings. I get cravings but it's usually bases on deciding if I want something crunchy, soft, cold/hot etc. Then thinking what food would fit those paramaters.
It’s interesting, what You describe.
I am the opposite in a way though also autistic), As soon as I hear something or a description I vividly see the scene in my inner eye, sometimes it’s so real that it feels like have really experienced the scene.
And I am glad to be able to remember and imagine things, because I have lost my ability to taste and smell and thus I am happy that I can remember vividly what e.g. a Rose would smell like or a pancake would taste like, although I can’t experience this in my life now.
Brains are so fascinating. My friend who lost all of her eyesight 14 years ago can still vividly picture imagery in her mind. Did you lose your smell and taste due to covid?
I only got sounds and feelings... I didn't realize I couldn't smell or taste until now.
I only have visual and audio in my mind, I cannot make any taste, touch, or smell in my mind, even if I can make a picture of food, or imagine a (moving) picture of myself touching a wall.
It’s also worth noting that every single person could have a different combination of all or some of the 5 senses and may experience some senses more vividly than others.
Some people who can visualize can ony make colorless outlines of shapes (my brother), and others can’t visualize in all colors (my friend can only really visualize in blue or black and white)
There are also some limitations people may have. I (thankfully) cannot visualize violence and very nasty stuff like that, and if I do, I am unable to visualize for a few minutes
Wow you made me realize I only remember spacial awareness, emotions and sounds. Sounds are the most vivid memories for me. Sight is the weakest! I always thought this was normal. I remember things tasting good or feeling good or bad kinda texture but not much just the memory of the vibrations.
When I saw spacial awareness I mean like the sense of how much room objects take up individually... Also when I think of the sun or the moon or stars I remember like a vibrational energy I get from them. Does ANY of this make sense? Like I HATE celery, I don't remember the taste but I remember the vibrations it caused in my whole skull. If I enter a room I'm super used to and something shifted in distance to me I can "feel" it. When I explain this to normies they say I have super powers. I just think that they probably have other things that don't let them notice it. I don't think I was always like this I think my trauma and hypervigilence from said trauma has made me this way as I had to "read the room" energetically to see if my father was safe or not. Texture memories will stay on my skin for hours if they're unpleasant like dust. You talked about the leaves and I remember the feeling of seeing the leaves on TV before not really the imagery. I sometimes have images but they're vague and like ghosts.
*when I SAY spacial...
This is interesting, I don't get a remembered vibration. For instance on the celery, sometimes I taste things I KNOW I don't like because I can't remember their taste at all and I want to remember what it was I didn't like.
I don't have auphantasia and I know this becaue I do experience the 5 senses in my head.
I probably won't be able to explain what that feels or sounds or smells like but I do know for me, does that make sense?
However you said in the beginning of the video how you experience things and that that is probably hard for us to wrap our heads around and I would have to disagree.
I understood everything you said. 🙂
Great video! Do you think it is relatively easy for you to avoid negative thought spirals? When I have negative thoughts, they are strongly associated with my senses and autobiographic memory. Also, how do you remember where objects are placed or how to get somewhere without visualizing? Sorry to bombard you with questions.
For the most part I don't have negative thought spirals. On occasion, if I'm dysregulated I will fall into one but I come out fairly quickly. My brain mostly lives in the present. As for objects. Mostly routine, working to keep a minimalistic lifestyle and logic. I try to put things in logical places. No it doesn't always work! Haha. And as for the last one, GPS. Always. Even last night I went to a restaurant that I only needed one turn to get to. But I couldn't remember how FAR down the road it was. I didn't have my GPS on because I knew it was on the road I was on but then I wondered if I passed it. So I had to turn on my GPS. Lol. I don't mind any respectful questions. 😁❤️
@I am MindBlind thank you for answering my questions! As a neurodivergent person, it is important (and fun) to me to learn about other neurodiversity. :)
I have aphantasia but i never ever considered thinking about other senses. I guess i didn't realize other people could do other senses in their mind too 😂
I also have memory issues exactly like you explain
I am dx Audhd. I dont ever expect to have a medical dx for my memory issues. Im too poor to be treated human in the medical field. My primary asked me if i wanted to see a neurologist for my memory issues. And i declined because i know its pointless. Ive been fighting for dx for decades and im just tired. And think i have no means of support either way. So why does it matter.
all sensory aphantasia its hard for alot of people to understand not being able to imagine sound, movement, smell, taste, and touch is harder than people think take the loss of a loved one you cant imagine them at all and then sdam doesnt help becuse when someone isnt aroudn i dont think of them unless there infront of me SDAM isnt that we dont remember details its that we dont remember most details like being married i know i was married i see the pictures but thats all i know the other details are not there ....it can make one feel like a bad person and others think you dont care .....SDAM is impaired autobiographical memory not completely forget or not remembering some things we do the best way is take the story of my life its like having access to only the index page with details here and there
Yes, I like the index analogy for SDAM. Although there are definitely events I come up on that my sister for instance will ask me about and I have no memory of them at all.
That sounds like it must be really difficult at times. I hadn’t heard of SDAM before so I read about it a little and, from the perspective of someone with a really good autobiographical memory, I actually think the opposite. I think that being able to love people when you can’t bring all those memories to mind in some ways must require you to care even more. When someone is annoying you can’t remember all the times they were patient with you and choose to be patient in return, you have to be patient simply because you love that person now. You’re happy when someone’s there even though you didn’t miss them when they were gone. In marriage you decide over and over and over again to keep loving someone because you know you promised to even if you can’t always remember why or bring loving feelings to mind when they’re absent. I don’t want to minimise any difficulties that SDAM causes you, I just wanted to say that from my perspective forgetting doesn’t make your love any less real or meaningful!!
First of all, great video. As someone who does not have Aphantasia I found this video very interesting. Through watching the video and reading the comments; it sounds to me that Aphantasia has less to do with your brain's ability to form sensory images and feelings in your mind, and more to do with its ability to retain and/or access sensory information from events that you have experienced. Like you could remember that a day was cold but can’t remember the sensory information of how the cold wind felt on your skin. Please let me know if this is correct, or if I misunderstood something.
Also, while writing this comment a question came to mind. Does Aphantasia affect your ability to remember emotional information? As in, if you were able to think of something that made you angry or sad, would you be able to remember what it is like to experience that emotion?
Great questions! So the majority of people with aphantasia just can't visualize in their minds eye. So there is just no imagery at all. I go into more detail in other videos on that. I have all sense, and yes, I can remember that a day was cold, but I can't remember that sensory feeling in my mind. One time I was in Washington where the weather was in the 50s, flying to Texas where it was going to be in the 80s. Intellectually I knew that I was going to be hot. But I still had a hard time packing appropriate clothing because I couldn't remember what hot felt like. That was the first time I realized about "touch" in my mind was missing.
Another component and some of the previous commentors, also have SDAM, a memory disorder. A lot (but not all) people with aphantasia have SDAM and vice versa. Both conditions aren't in the DSM yet and are still being researched. SDAM means I don't have first person memories and the lack of sensory experience in my head probably contributes to that.
And so that kind of leads to your last question about emotion. I made a video about Sept 11th and SDAM. I can feel sadness in the present over what happened back then, but I don't remember or experience the sadness from that date. I don't have experiential memories, just a list of dry facts. I hope you subscribe and follow along, I love learning what others experiences are like from the things I mention in my videos!
the only thing I have is my voice in my head, the only sense I can "imagine" is sounds, but it's like i'm making these sounds with my mouth, not the real ones, if I don't speak in my mind then there's nothing.
Do you ever get a song stuck im your head and what is that like then?
no
I can get a phrase or a couple of words stuck in my mind. But there's no sound quality. Just the word-thoughts on a silent annoying loop in my mind. I end up usually vocalizing it much to my annoyance and everyone around me
Not having the Mind's Eye I'm artistic related a lot with you but I definitely have senses and visualizations of History I know my memory is not good long-term medication not regulated permanent damage made my great artistic living come to a crash without ever knowing why until now help no one to hear understand near I am in some little layer between the universes
I can actually smell and taste if someone shows me a picture or describes their food but I'm extreme food intolerant and I'm missing good food
Oh my gosh how fun to enjoy favorite tea every morning I smile and enjoy with you
The mine blind thing seems like it would make our female autism thing a little bit better and I think you go on to describe that although I never really want to say anything like that cuz it sounds like crap but interesting combination you have you have plenty of struggles I'm not saying anyway thank you for sharing
Actually everyone around me is been judging from above me now I understand it's because I'm autistic but still stuck
Have you ever tried acid or high dose THC. I can see stuff in my minds eye with them! So cool.
No, I do not take any illegal substances. Personal choice. Also, from other people with aphantasia I've heard that doesn't even work.
@@i.am.mindblind you’re missing out of the possibility of something so profound! Especially with the thc. It’s incredible to be able to see and manipulate images just in your mind.
@@i.am.mindblind is thc illegal in your state?
I don't think so, but I don't have any interest. I don't really even drink alcohol often. I don't like the feeling of mind altering medications. But again, everyone I know with aphantasia says it doesn't help them visualize anyway.
@@i.am.mindblind oh I thought you said your objection was the illegality of it. I can believe you’re not intrigued about the chance that you might be able to close your eyes and summon up the image of your loved ones dead or alive. and you’re gonna turn that down. Wow. That’s incredible to me. I’m not judging by the way I just thought there’d be some excitement or intrigue!
What do you work as? When I was reading an article from a paper here in the U.K. it was noted that most people with aphantasia seemed to be in some sort of creative adjacent field. I’m a graphic designer and musician. I have to work in such a way that I have examples around me always. Like a messy art student 😂
I need to know who do I need to see to get told I have this. Just for peace of mind and for my family to believe me.
Aphantasia is currently self-diagnosed it's still being researched and is not in the in any diagnostic manuals. There are some quizzes online you can find that help you guide through some questions to determine if you have aphantasia, but usually it's pretty easy to tell if you can picture something in your mind or not once you are aware of this phenomenon.
Do you have worded thoughts?
Yes, I think in words, but no sound. This is one that I cannot figure out how to explain. There also is no image of the words, they are just thoughts that are there.
@@i.am.mindblind I'm the same, with a bit of practice you can drop the words and find complete silence, you know people without aphantasia take years to learn a skill you could do in a instant.
Are you sure other people can actually sense these things in their head? I am confused as I think/thought everyone was like this? I also have ADHD and autism tho so could it just be that?
Are you saying other people can experience their senses with memory?
Oh most definitely people can. A lot of people aren't aware of it, it's just so natural for them but when asked they can think and then realize oh yeah, I can remember and experience the scent of lemon in my head, etc. Most people can definitely visualize. With the other senses it seems most of the population can but I have come across people who can, for instance, visualize in their mind, but not remember scents or tastes.
This is completely separate from Autism/ADHD. Many autistic people are really great at visualizing especially. But when you have one Neurodivergency I think it's likely you'll have others of some sort.
Wow. Thankyou.
I have the opposite I have hyperphantasia, Prophantasia, and photographic memory. I can see my past in my mind and greater than 4K detail or I can project that with my eyes opened into the world. My brains also like a computer with a hard drive and RAM hard drive stores everything it sees but the RAM is the short-term memory and it's not that great it's hard to explain I wish I could find someone like this.
My sister is the opposite of me and is hyperphantsia. She can play movies in her head both imagined and of her memories. Sounds amazing to me! I would love to be able to imagine and visualize descriptions from books I read. Thanks for watching and commenting!