Removing Shame around Internalized Ableism
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- Join me in this video where I talk about ADHD Meds, autisitc doctors, autistic sense of justice, ableism, internalized ableism, disability advocacy and more!
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#autism
#actuallyautistic
#autisticvoices
You are fortunate to be able to find a good therapist . I'm not on any social media. We love you, Amanda! Thank you for your wise, empathetic videos.
It took a lot of searching to find my therapist and I opened my search to telehealth across my entire state. So my therapist is 3.5 hours away from me.
Amanda, I want you to know that you are so important to me and I think you're amazing. The way you explain our conversation style, internalised ableism and that we are different and there's nothing wrong with that is MAGICAL. You know exactly how to express yourself and this is not easy to talk about. I can tell you are very passionate about this and you're a great advocate for the neurodivergent community! I would be honoured to talk to you sometime in the future. I realized I'm AuDHD not that long ago and I started my own channel because I think it's so important to hear neurodivergent people talk about our experiences and our beautiful brains. Thank you so much for this video. This makes me wanna continue my own work.
Every once in a while I save a comment in a folder to read when I'm feeling down or having imposter syndrome. This comment is going in that folder. Your words touched me deeply and I know they'll lift me up on a future day when I'm feeling a low point. I appreciate it, thank YOU, so much for taking the time. ❤️
@@i.am.mindblind ❤️
Hi Amanda thanks for your rambles. There is always new things I relate to and your wisdom is always inspiring
Totally agree, Claudia. Thank you.
I'm glad you like them, because they are fun to film, I never know what I'm going to say! Lol.
Coversations: Weavers and concluders, two valid conversation styles. I am a weaver. I do interrupt and the other weavers would interrupt and we could have a conversation, it feels like beautiful magic... I've come across conluders who make me feel terrible, one of which was my dad, he was a concluder.
Internalized ableism Journey: I was diagnosed autistic/bipolar in my 20's. I perpetually hated myself from age 2 to age 30. I was seeking a "cure" for my problems long past my autism Dx, because I was led to believe I could be normal, if I could just be normal then my dad would like me. My dad never stopped believing I was "trying to be spoiled".
I started Pristiq (it’s like Wellbutrin) and I love it! Highly recommend. Of course, everyone’s biochemistry is different. I’m AuDHD late-diagnosed (at age 52) and have been misdiagnosed with depression (age 15) and then bipolar 2 (age 30). So I have tried many many meds. I’m now phasing off most but keeping the Pristiq, Adderall 10mg, and sleep meds. Adderall helps me focus and is much needed. I’ve had a lifelong sleep struggle until I started taking a very low dose of quetiapine at bedtime.
excellent topic, its something I'm coming to grips with as my assessment nears
Be kind to yourself as you move through the process. ❤️
a great thing to keep in mind. thank you
I’m so glad to hear that you’re off the Lexapro! You look and sound so much better! ❤️
Thank you. Yeah that medicine and I did not go together! Yikes.
I have been working on communication as far back as I can remember. I thanks for your metaphor of block quilt vs weaving a tapestry it is helpful :D
I think it's a pretty awesome way to think about it! 😁❤️
I am glad you got the meds you needed.....
Not yet, I had to quit Lexapro so right now I'm not on any meds until I talk to my new doc next month
@@i.am.mindblind I hope it works out...
You might find the book, Brain Energy by Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Chris Palmer.
So grateful for you and your videos!! 💛
😁❤️❤️❤️
Great advocacy👍🏽
One of my closest friends is ADHD without autism. I have autism, bi polar, and possible ADHD too (dont have ADHD dx'd but bi polar and Autism is dx'd in me). I have eye problems, I could see very VERY far away, and when relaxed, I'm very cross-eyed.
Great video!😁
Thank you!
That is interesting that nystagmus (your eyes moving back and forth rapidly) is more common in autism! Several of my family members have it.
Another eye problem related to autism is ambliopia/strabismus. This is where you have crossed eyes or an eye goes outward. I have this.
Yep! I was mildly surprised my eye doc had no idea the commoridities of eyes and Autism. But I'm learning to not be surprised at the lack of Autism education in medical fields across the board.
Autistic conversation tapestries are similar to New York conversational styles (if neurotypicals are California conversation)
Chanting definitely helps,
🌹 🌹 🌹
“Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare”
When it comes to depression/anxiety meds, I don't take anything. My brain chemistry is screwed up enough as it is. I don't see any benefit to messing it up any further. I know several people on depression meds, and I don't know a single one that is any better now than they were before they started taking them. They are still depressed, and are now addicted to the medication. I have dealt with my symptoms for over 40 years, so there is no point in being medicated now when I have already made it this long without anything.
My cat says hi!
The eye shaking thing is called Nystagmus, though I am not sure if my spelling is correct. I guess it is. Spell check didn't flag it, lol.
Sometime people who have autism without ADHD complain that those of us with both autism and ADHD interrupt too much and they can't get a word in edgewise. So I wonder if the interrupting style of conversation comes from our ADHD side?
Free speech is so important. I'm not keen on ssris. But the usual standard medication was hard for me to process the information of the effects also because it was a change, a disruption of my monotropic flow. It took me many months. Around 6 months or even longer of taking them daily. It takes time with AuDHD to know whether they're effective or not. If your husband is neurotypical he might realise of changes in your presentation faster if he's an attentive kind of person. Some men don't realise as much
Yeah I'm hearing that ssris don't work with a lot of autistic people. I'm hopeful my new doc will have insights on this!
@@i.am.mindblind That is weird. SSRI's worked well for me. But everyone is different.
I think I get what you're saying re: 'weaving' convo types, I have those sometimes (I'm autistic but not adhd, most of my friends are ADHD or AuDHD) but I have to be set up just right (mood/energy/sensory setting). I think this might be a difference between only autistic and ADHD+. I can get disoriented when interrupted mid sentence and just lose what I was saying. I think also my prosody must be different enough (I speak slower, with different places for pauses, than my ADHD friends) and their inhibition executive function is down since we're all trying to not mask-- then they'll try to finish my thought for me and usually they're not "correct" 😅 but then it takes even longer for me to say what I was trying to say.
I think there's a "larger" type of interruption you may have meant, and I'm just thinking of the really little on sentences level interruption? Like there's the literal taking over the end of another's sentence, and then there's replying to the end of the other's dog park story with your own dog park story (without stopping to do the typical niceties/reaction-words/bridging words to your own related story).
Anywho-- a good ramble. And as an anecdotal data point, I am also one of those people who listen to talk-y UA-cam videos as podcasts basically
I agree with you, some days/situations conversation doesn't flow as well and an Interruption means that I lose my entire thought. Sometimes I can Circle back to it but not always. But I also often lose my own train of thought mid of my own sentence. Anyhoo I'm glad you enjoyed the ramble!😁
💚
Very pretty artwork, and I love your eyebrow piercing. I kinda want one, hehe. Anywho, I personally enjoy hearing you ramble, and I can't remember if I said it in a comment in another one of your videos, but I love hearing your voice. It's mellow, it's... I'm not sure how to describe it, but I love it 😊. I feel as if I could fall asleep to it haha. Oo and also, I have to take Lexapro as well.
Edit: I'm no longer Christian. I became agnostic. I was tired of believing in a chance that there was a God. I could never fully put my faith in a chance. It's scary. And now, I'm free from that. But, I still consider that there could be some form of a "god" out there, just as there is some form of Santa out there. Doesn't mean he exists, he just exists in some form. But anyway...
Thank you! My eyebrow ring makes me so happy. Also, thank you for the compliment on my voice. ❤️❤️
I actually got permanently locked out of a site I was very active in. They said my use of the term "snowflake" was a racist comment. I made what I thought was pretty benign comment. There was a big push to cancel someone over a comment that they made on a tv show. I thought it was relatively benign comment, and said that people were overreacting and being total snowflakes. That got me permanently banned, lol. Whatever. I get comments rejected on Yahoo all the time, and upon review, I don't even have a clue why they were rejected. People have become such snowflakes, lol.
I don't like the term either because it's often used to minimize people's struggles that you just maybe don't have a full picture of.
Wow, speaking the truth on Instagram/threads gets you locked out?!
I'm childless by choice.
The pressure to get married and have babies has been around since I was a kid in 1980.
People have called my MY normal (emphasis, "my" normal) chatter as "spam". One specific time I was in a community talking about real things and real topics, and several people agreed to "vote" me out of the community for "spam". I shake my head in annoyance at so many in society thinking that our "info dumps" are "spam". I'm annoyed with that report too.
Just saying, I have not even once had even a passing thought that your background is boring and you should move it around more. Not even a glimmer of a judgement. I hope you will do what works for you and not worry about it!
I love this. Those "tips" for UA-camrs really just don't apply to the Autistic community for the most part. Thank you for listening. 🩷🩷🩷
Same here. I like your background fine. I thought it was your living room! 😂
UA-cam is a type of social media. If you participate in the comment sections.
I don't remember what this is referring to from the video, but I do participate in the comments as much as I can! I don't get to all my comments anymore because I can't keep up, but I try my best. ❤️
@@i.am.mindblind No, it is probably my fault for not being clear enough. Several people in this video's comment section were saying that they don't do social media but UA-cam comment sections ARE actually social media. I was just pointing that out. I should have responded to each person separately but I didn't want to type it out multiple times.
@@i.am.mindblind I wasn't directing the comment to you. You do a good job! 💜👍
One thing that is frustrating about UA-cam, is I don't get notifications on most of the comments. So I don't see a lot of them.
@@i.am.mindblind That is annoying! Do they do that because you get so many of them as a content creator?
Yeah I don't care about your background. I'm cooking or cleaning, so I'm the one that's listening like a podcast. When it comes too social media, i tried, I cannot stand it. So YOU thought it was bening, to someone else, its not. And that, THAT RIGHT THERE is exactly why i hate social media. Anything i say its taken bad. So i don't use it anymore. And honestly some girls out theres are complete straight up B and anything you say they twist it. Thats why i always have had male friends opposed too female friends. Back stabbers.
I was essentially agreeing with the poster. I think my comment triggered an AI filter and auto-banned. I do understand what your saying that when one person feels a comment is benign to someone else it may be triggering. But in this case I was agreeing with the poster in the bigger sense so, I can't imagine what they would have been upset about?
Thank you for the tour of your lovely office, but I'm really not here for the backgrounds.
Fair enough, I enjoy behind the scenes of stuff.