Girl don't be terrified to date. People are just people and you're uniquely made so don't worry about their opinions or feelings. lol. I'm so glad you watched and enjoyed.
Don't be afraid to date. I am engaged to a woman who has CP and uses a walker. Guess what? She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only that, but I find her to be damn sexy, too-as do all of musician friends with whom I've been associated in one way or another since the 80's and 90's. What do I play? THRASH METAL! Guitars and lead vocals! And I had MENINGITIS in 1971!
Great advice you got there. My girlfriend has cerebral palsy, and we've been very happily dating for almost half a year. We have a great time because (besides letting God guide and lead us first and foremost) I don't see her wheelchair and she doesn't see my Asperger's, we just see each other.
Oh my god, you are a breath of fresh air! This video is the first of yours I've watched and I'm already hooked! This is the confidence boost I needed about being a fellow female wheelchair user! I'm new to all this still and I hope I can have as much confidence as you have! Thank you!
Yas! It's a constant journey and an everyday exercise to keep myself in a positive and confident state of mind. But no worries boo as long as you're working towards learning to be confident then you'll get to where you want to be soon enough :) Stay great!
Yesss!!! This just made my day!! Love your personality and your attitude. You got a new subscriber over here. The wheelie dating scene is hard... I hope you can get that hotty in the building if they're worth getting got. 🤗🤗🤗
Yes, I'm not 'disabled' as such, but being 'disabled' is a wide range here in the UK from 'dyslectic to paralysed' I have dyslexia, and my mother has spinal stenosis, so yes I would date a 'disabled' lady... not because I feel sorry, but because they are as beautiful an 'able' person...just because you carn't read or walk, don't mean you're not gorgous!!!
A disabled single love your video ya you right they must possess confidence in themselves the endure to up & downs in a disabled person's relationship BUT laughter always a master key BE FUNNY OR THEM FUNNY
I am mentally but not physically disabled, which brings it's own load of bullshit to the table. I look more or less normal and have a slightly higher than average IQ but can be easily confused when I become anxious or stressed. I am very concerned about my ability to attract and keep a partner though I have been in one long-term relationship. I would have no issue with dating a woman who also had a disability because I empathize and understand how difficult these things can make one's life. True beauty comes from within and is not dependent on one's condition or situation in life. I did once go on a date with a woman who was a double amputee. It didn't work out but it had to do with clashing personalities and not our respective disabilities.
Hi LOLO, How you doing sista? First off, as a fellow disability and sex positive advocate,I wanted to say THANK YOU for your videos. And second, you remind me so much of a friend of mine, so much it´s funny. I feel you 100%. Ive been involved with the disability community in Chicago, and youth with all types of disabilities for yrs now, and know and am learning about both invisible or non physical disabilities and physical as well. I myself have mild cerebral palsy, my swag when I am confident. Ive dated able bodied women casually and once seriously. She has a learning disability and was actually very patient and understanding, more than the average sista would be at the time. Always grateful for that and she showed me, made me realize how much of a good and "quick learner" I was. Even though it was a brief relationship, it taught me a lot about others, myself and caring women STILL exist.
PS. I actually believe that people with any disability are way more sexual than many able bodied folks from my experience and friends I know. And also, ppl with disabilities tend to date either outside of their disability or date an able bodied person. It all depends on your preference or personal connection. I find that somen with physical disabilities prefer able bodied men and same with the men, even though I know of some exceptions.... ugh dating in 2016 is so damn complicated especially if you have a disability.... anyway just sharing my piece. Peace and Blessings, Jay.
Thanks so much for sharing!!! It's good to hear when others with disabilities have good experiences in dating. It's definitely a topic I want to continue to address on my channel because I feel like society considers it taboo to find themselves attracted, sexually attracted, or interested in dating disabled people. It's important and necessary.
Thanks! No my dear there are plenty of us and even more disabled youtubers that aren't in chairs. It's a real community here and we are all pushing for more awareness since most of the world don't know we exist. Sooo welcome :)
The not creating drama - YES. I had one guy who would get so mad and flip people off when they stared and I was like "dude, you have to calm down bcause this is just how it is." And the confidence thing... yup. Or just all of these. The genuine point - YES. Don't talk to us cause we need sympathy or feel bad or whatever. Don't waste our time or yours! But yeah, this video is on point as always.
One trait that's important to me: *intellect.* The ones you listed are important, for sure. But long before I was diagnosed with my chronic condition (Meniére's), brainpower was something I prized. I still do today. Beauty is nice & that initial spark is great but in any relationship, disabled or not, the one thing you will do more with your partner than anything else is _conversation._ For me, the conversation has to be interesting & an active mind is what makes it so. If all a woman can do is tell me about what she liked on Netflix last night or dish about her friends then, guaranteed, it will not last. My interests involve history (religious & military), politics (but am not an ideologue), & other stuff. I do small-scale woodworking; sonetimes I make wine. I've read a bit more than most people. I am not saying she must be into the same things I am but she should at least understand there is more to this life than run-of-the-mill concerns. Preferably, she should have some scholarly interests of her own. If I'm gonna have a partner, great...but she has to _think._ One's head is for more than a display piece for a hairstyle or hat.
I second that. I love when someone can appreciate me for my intellect. Once they see past the wheelchair and all thy myriad of quirks, they’ll find a curious, inquisitive mind. I’m attracted to the same. I’m also very attracted to compassion. Once I see a person’s capacity for true empathy, it’s a turn on. Let’s philosophize lol.
I've been told that I am handsome; however, the same women will tell me they are or will be too embarrassed to go out with me. I used to think that these two statements were contradictory of each other but I then had a thought. The totality of my being doesn't revolve around being handsome. Nor does having cerebral palsy. I might walk a little off but when I drink I walk straight. But I digress, being attracted to someone because they are handsome is only superficial. It will only be a matter of time before they receive negative comments or get mocked for dating someone who walks like me and then she really feels self-conscious about being with me, before even being with me. It follows that not dating someone, or me because I walk differently is superficial.
Yeah it's tough because the world is not used to seeing people with disabilities in relationship so they think people will judge, but at the end of the day, we definitely don't need to be close to people who care what others think anyway. So fuck it. lol.
I love this..and I love you Lolo! Speak Truth! I don't know if you mentioned this but I'll add that if one is looking to date a disabled person stop thinking you "motivate" us to do things as if we dont do things already. For example one guy called himself motivating me to go places and get an adaptive car (LMAO just typing it cracks me up). And I'm like ..."I do go out!" and as for the car, it costs money just like any other car..money I aint got right now! like, Sir? You have assumptions about me,and disabled people in general, that are not even true...boy bye!
Thank you for enjoying my video!!! Girl I just speak what I know. lol. But yes! The "motivation" thing is a good one. I've had that before where a guy called himself motivating me to try and work out. And it's like sir I've explained to you that ALS works the opposite way the more I use my muscles the quicker they leave. And legit tried to debate me on it! I was like "I can't deal." lmao!!!
I have been somewhat seeing someone for a while, and I have to agree that the confidence is a huge thing. He's super extra, and whenever I'm with him its always a given that people stare at him rather than me. I'm used to being the one that's stared at, so its always nice when he's the center of everybody's stares rather than me lmao.
You're my west coast cousin in my head! 😂 Everything you said is the truth!! Summer was aight, not caring about cuffin season. Are you going to get Sitting Pretry shirts made?
I realize being fun and comical is an important trait I am not going to deny that one, but I think having a willingness to stay in the house and cuddle or watch movies or read a book together. I can see the part about being fun, but I think some people need to just have a heart and realize that its not all about them. I want to have fun just as much as the next guy, but after being denied access or simply unable to participate in some activities since I have been disabled. I have lost interest. when I go to the movie theater with my girlfriend and I really do not care to see the movie you would think I would get points for being there not because I want to, but because I just want to be next to her. I mean I suppose this is getting into a slightly different subject, but sometime or most times I feel like we men want to be romantic we want to hug, we want to kiss, we want to hold your hand, we want to cuddle, but we are denied those things, because you didn't (feel) like it. so my advice to ladies would be put more importance on your man, and just a little less on yourself.
As a wheelchair user this video made me somewhat emotional on how accurate this is. It brought me to man tears 😭 I have experienced this on so many levels :)
I love your advice. I have cp have kids and I'm divorced. I am so scared to put myself out there again. I have a dating app for disabled people and one with non disabled people. I want to love again.
'was doing fine just rolling around'--this made me laugh so hard. I'm hard of hearing and being able to have a sense of humour about it, not be serious about it is keyssss
Girl its necessary to have a sense of humor. I stay joking about my disability because if not, I would just be angry all the time and I aint got time for all that. lmao!!!!
I love this video & your personality! I love your view on dating while disabled I wish everyone felt this way. I'm scared dating unless I'm drinking or high BC I don't want to be misjudged or meet someone who tells me how great I am only to reject me after I tell them. I'm open but I stay inside all the time so I'm actually closed off. Congrats on owning your disability enough to share it with the world. I hope I am able to be that way soon. Hugs*
Thank you so much! Girl don't feel scared to date because whoever you're dating isn't perfect either. TRUST! lol. And if they reject you fuck what they say, it's their loss not yours boo. Keep working on what makes you happen and learn not to care about what others think and you will be perfectly fine. :) Thanks so much for watching!
You're welcome & lol you're so correct! I know they'd be missing out.. The problem is I'm tired of losing ppl. I'm sensitive & loving so when ppl lack empathy & no attempt to understand my condition I cut them off including my family. Im addicted to cutting ppl off who are no good for me at least mentally 😩 its the right thing to do but I'm tired. That's what I focus on daily me but I want human interaction & to date lol.. Its extremely bittersweet when ur disabled.
That BE PATIENT part reminded me of that episode of Saved by the bell when Zack dated the girl from the teen challenge hotline and she ended up being a disabled female and Zack was making it known she was in a wheelchair and it embarrassed her very much because he was putting the focus on her being disabled
I fight my hippocampus all the time. Meningitis and too many blows to the head-thanks to hundreds of pallets over the course of over seven years. I am proud of my fiancée. We're patient with each other because we understand each other-and we're each others' biggest supporters.
Glad you picked the Leather ones !!!!! lol Anyways this definitely had helpful hints I can admit I'd never think of easily accessible when she mentioned zippers etc... that's one I'll ALWAYS remember
Thanks for the video. Im aL4 L5 complete paraplegis since age 11. As a 38 year old man I still get so nervous dating and intimacy. Very scary stuff. Find that person.
I just started watching your videos and I love you sooooo much! You’re so positive and you look at different perspectives on certain topics and I really like that about you I’m subscribed and hit the bell!
Seated With Christ I have spina bifida too and have a few physical needs that make me nervous about relationships. What if someone doesn't want me because of my wheelchair?? I feel like guys push away from me when they find out I like them. I try to explain to them that it's what's on the inside that matters to me but I can't get dates.
What if you're afraid to date because you are disabled and you know how easy it is for to get physically harmed and also because I'm a black woman and also for those stereotypes
Honestly I have the same concerns as well. At the end of the day we all have to take the necessary precautions when going on dates. Never expose exact details of where you live first hand, share your location on your phone with a loved one, send photos and social media accounts of your date to someone nearby etc. But don't let it completely stop you from finding love because luckily a majority of people in the world are really kind.
@@SittingPrettyLolo what if we don’t have our own vehicles and rely on our dates driving us? I struggle getting around this city that has terrible public transit. Kinda poor for too many übers too. I’m an immigrant and have been fighting my immigration case for decades so I’m currently just with DACA and as such can’t really get government help for things like disability or financial assistance for modification of a wheelchair accessible vehicle. I used to be very daring in my youth and ride with random men all the time but now that I’m nearing my 40s and looking back at how I’d often put myself in bad situations, I’ve been holding back with caution (COVID contributed to that too). I also have mental illness on top of my physical disability so I sometimes feel like I’m bound to continue the cycle of getting with the wrong kind of men. My last relationships was 6 years ago and he struggles with anger issues and alcoholism. The one before that hid me from his mamma. You’re right about the majority of people being kind. Despite my nihilistic tendencies, I still believe that. I just often find the situation hopeless. Great video by the way! You’re fanfuckintastic!
31 year old well balanced man (in terms of life) and:👇🏻 You are On point Girl you have it right on the head I’m a strong man with cerebral palsy using crutches to walk I’m genuine honest and open and well educated i’m patient to the Moon and back cross the earth three times that’s how patient I am or have been lately and I should say I’ve been single my entire life but as soon I hit my 20s say around 26/27 the whole single thing started and has been wearing on me all my friends are married and have their own lives and or in committed relationships I’m the last of my group and to be frank I want to be passionately touched and loved as I’ve never experienced any of that by a woman everything you said in the video is absolutely 100% correct I couldn’t say it any better and I recently tried my hardest to register for differing dating sites on the Internet but they all cost you can’t just find someone and connect I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong I’m honorable caring I respect women I try and do the best I can but my body is shutting down after years of using my crutches ignoring my doctors who are saying stop walking and use a wheelchair which I’m in transition but along with that transition I’d like to find my future wife at some point and it just hurts I’m living alone for the first time after my mom passing away recently in 2015 it’s been almost 3 years now and I know I’m sounding like a you know what but going from living with mom to living on your own for almost 3 years now in a silent apartment is nerve-racking and I would just like to be in a relationship someone who cares for me and only me could you give me some advice please thanks once again terrific video you hit right on the head and congratulations to you continued success sweetie thanks From a guy who is trying James aka JR
44 yrs old also walk using crutches and can totally relate to your comment about wanting to be loved despite your disability because I want the exact same thing
Love this video you are amazing ,am dating someone who is in a wheelchair , he is amazing so lucky he came into my life,and he is a hottie ,i feel like god made me a nurse to prepare me for him ,can't wait to show him off to the world. That's my bAe lol
I have a disability (CP), nonverbal, and I live alone. I'm on a regular dating site, have a profile up with several pictures. I don't disclose my disability and I don't think you can tell from my pictures. Maybe? I write to several women almost every night mentioning their pictures and I ask something in their profile (favorite travel destination, favorite dish to cook). I hardly ever receive a response. They do view me but nothing more. I have been on other sites and disabled sites. Still nothing. Somebody even helped me with my profile. What am I doing wrong? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you.
Lol! They can get pretty pricey, but they always have some great deals and if you use my LOLOIZ15 discount code, it can be applied to sale items too. :) Hope that helps!
Hi I'm Maygan and i have a disability and i hate when people use baby voices like i am a smart adult and secondly i am an amputate I've always had "what's wrong with your leg" or "where's your leg" especially with kids now i know kids don't understand but i feel its the parent's job to educate them but I've also had older people say stuff and it sucks and yeah I'm new to your channel and had to subscribe 😊
Hey Lolo!! My name is Elijah Laine. I also have the same feelings and I have a disability. I have hemiplegic cerebral palsy. I am wanting to date and I have that underlying feeling that no one will love me because of my appearance. Like you I see my friends getting girl friends and I've always been in the friend zone. I like this girl and I don't know if this girl likes me and I can't seem to figure it out and I don't think she knows that I really like her. She sees me as her gay best friend and introduces me to her friends that way when she knows I'm not gay. It is just my personality showing through. It's really frustrating because I don't know if it is the right time to tell her I like her. What do you think I should do.
Well honestly, I think it's incredibly rude of her to introduce you as a gay man if she KNOWS you're not gay. That doesn't sound like the behavior of someone who respects you, disabled or not. I personally think she's not someone you would even want to build a relationship with. Because if she's not honoring your sexual preference as a straight man, then she's not going to honor you as a disabled person. If its on your heart to tell her, then you can, but I honestly wouldn't say anything because its most likely not going to work in your favor simply because she doesn't seem to respect you as a person first. It'll be ok crushes come and go we just gotta stay faithful that a crush will turn into a love. :) Hope this helps boo!
Hey Lolo!! I ended up telling her I liked her tonight. It turned out awful. She doesn’t believe that she can support me as a person with a disability in a romantic relationship. She hasn’t been around people with disabilities that much. She said that she will never understand what it’s like to be a person with a disability. I know that this is true. She will never understand fully what it’s like to be a person with a disability. She believes that I need to find someone who has the understanding of the community of people with disabilities or I need to find someone who has a disability that understand what challenges I have.
Well that sucks that it was an awful experience, but we all go through them. If thats how she feels she's entitled to it. Gotta learn to move on from her because she's clearly not good enough for you. :)
dude act more masculine around her sit up straight look her in the eyes when she is talking do not apologize for any reason learn some jokes, and last but not least learn some masculine body language and display it around her. Do those things for a few days gauge her reaction, and then after a few days say something. I forgot one of the most important things treat her as an equal. I know every guy for the last hundred or so years has been told to treat women special most women do not want that. So I would work on treating women like you do your guy friends, and if you open the door for your guy friends do not open the door for this girl.
Lolo, This is my first time with you, and I'm down with your approach to LIVING with our disabilities. I'm gay, 52, and have Chorea-acanthocytosis ( www.naadvocacy.org/what-na ). It's genetic (from my maternal great-grandfather), and it changed so much in my life. I live in Oxford, UK, but I lived in NYC and Miami in America, and also in many different places in my life. Thank you for bringing some sunshine into my life cos I needed it! I'm going to be watching you, and I have many friends with disabilities that need the positive spirit that hooked me into your show. You are a unique & unrepeatable Miracle, Lolo! Gans X
I think it just depends on what you're looking for in a partner. There's so many different specialized ones now, but at the end of the day they all have the same goal of helping people find love.
![Dating Struggles for People with DIsabilities [ CC ] || Sitting Pretty](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LXtIWb7i0Pc/mqdefault.jpg)
![Dating Struggles for People with DIsabilities [ CC ] || Sitting Pretty](/img/tr.png)
![THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE IN A WHEELCHAIR - TOP 3 [CC] || Sitting Pretty](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Z9enfss75XU/mqdefault.jpg)
![Top 5 Benefits Of Being A Wheelchair User [CC] || Sitting Pretty](/img/n.gif)
Someone who doesn’t make me “prove” my disability or push me to do more than I am capable of doing. Love all the ones you listed too!
Hello
Hi I am interested in you can we lernen more.
This is so awesome. I'm disabled and terrified of dating. You gave me life and spoke my mind in this video. Keep up the good work.
Girl don't be terrified to date. People are just people and you're uniquely made so don't worry about their opinions or feelings. lol. I'm so glad you watched and enjoyed.
Don't be afraid to date. I am engaged to a woman who has CP and uses a walker.
Guess what? She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only that, but I find her to be damn sexy, too-as do all of musician friends with whom I've been associated in one way or another since the 80's and 90's.
What do I play?
THRASH METAL! Guitars and lead vocals! And I had MENINGITIS in 1971!
@@justakidfromwestvirginia9199 would you believe this is my first time seeing your comment. I hope you were able to find a companion 🙂
@6jister if you feel comfortable send me a message on Instagram @aguffie1
Great advice you got there. My girlfriend has cerebral palsy, and we've been very happily dating for almost half a year. We have a great time because (besides letting God guide and lead us first and foremost) I don't see her wheelchair and she doesn't see my Asperger's, we just see each other.
SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!! I love it!!!
Sitting Pretty Lolo Thank you so much!
Thats great I have cp. I walk but its challenging. I have 2 kids and I am divorced. God bless you both.
Awesome! I am disabled and looking to raise my vibration and get out of fear. Thank you for sharing. I really want to start enjoying life.
You should you deserve it!
Me too. I’ve bee hurt and down for too long. Let’s do this!
Oh my god, you are a breath of fresh air! This video is the first of yours I've watched and I'm already hooked! This is the confidence boost I needed about being a fellow female wheelchair user! I'm new to all this still and I hope I can have as much confidence as you have! Thank you!
Yas! It's a constant journey and an everyday exercise to keep myself in a positive and confident state of mind. But no worries boo as long as you're working towards learning to be confident then you'll get to where you want to be soon enough :) Stay great!
Yesss!!! This just made my day!! Love your personality and your attitude. You got a new subscriber over here. The wheelie dating scene is hard... I hope you can get that hotty in the building if they're worth getting got. 🤗🤗🤗
hahaahahahahaha! I moved from the place but theres plenty more cuties in my new building though :) lol!
Yes, I'm not 'disabled' as such, but being 'disabled' is a wide range here in the UK from 'dyslectic to paralysed' I have dyslexia, and my mother has spinal stenosis, so yes I would date a 'disabled' lady... not because I feel sorry, but because they are as beautiful an 'able' person...just because you carn't read or walk, don't mean you're not gorgous!!!
We are not here to be your little secret. PREACH!
Love your added traits especially the "superhero" one!
A disabled single love your video ya you right they must possess confidence in themselves the endure to up & downs in a disabled person's relationship BUT laughter always a master key BE FUNNY OR THEM FUNNY
I am mentally but not physically disabled, which brings it's own load of bullshit to the table. I look more or less normal and have a slightly higher than average IQ but can be easily confused when I become anxious or stressed. I am very concerned about my ability to attract and keep a partner though I have been in one long-term relationship. I would have no issue with dating a woman who also had a disability because I empathize and understand how difficult these things can make one's life. True beauty comes from within and is not dependent on one's condition or situation in life. I did once go on a date with a woman who was a double amputee. It didn't work out but it had to do with clashing personalities and not our respective disabilities.
Hi LOLO,
How you doing sista? First off, as a fellow disability and sex positive advocate,I wanted to say THANK YOU for your videos. And second, you remind me so much of a friend of mine, so much it´s funny. I feel you 100%. Ive been involved with the disability community in Chicago, and youth with all types of disabilities for yrs now, and know and am learning about both invisible or non physical disabilities and physical as well. I myself have mild cerebral palsy, my swag when I am confident. Ive dated able bodied women casually and once seriously. She has a learning disability and was actually very patient and understanding, more than the average sista would be at the time. Always grateful for that and she showed me, made me realize how much of a good and "quick learner" I was. Even though it was a brief relationship, it taught me a lot about others, myself and caring women STILL exist.
PS. I actually believe that people with any disability are way more sexual than many able bodied folks from my experience and friends I know. And also, ppl with disabilities tend to date either outside of their disability or date an able bodied person. It all depends on your preference or personal connection. I find that somen with physical disabilities prefer able bodied men and same with the men, even though I know of some exceptions.... ugh dating in 2016 is so damn complicated especially if you have a disability.... anyway just sharing my piece. Peace and Blessings, Jay.
Thanks so much for sharing!!! It's good to hear when others with disabilities have good experiences in dating. It's definitely a topic I want to continue to address on my channel because I feel like society considers it taboo to find themselves attracted, sexually attracted, or interested in dating disabled people. It's important and necessary.
Great video 👏🏾 that's very inspirational!!!! Here I thought I was the only UA-camr in a wheelchair you keep doing your thing girl
Thanks! No my dear there are plenty of us and even more disabled youtubers that aren't in chairs. It's a real community here and we are all pushing for more awareness since most of the world don't know we exist. Sooo welcome :)
The not creating drama - YES. I had one guy who would get so mad and flip people off when they stared and I was like "dude, you have to calm down bcause this is just how it is." And the confidence thing... yup. Or just all of these. The genuine point - YES. Don't talk to us cause we need sympathy or feel bad or whatever. Don't waste our time or yours! But yeah, this video is on point as always.
Yeah girl we don't need any extra drama or fake people in our lives. lol! Thanks for watching and sharing as always!!!
Sitting Pretty Lolo Dramatic guys are the worst anyways!
Good video! I must say, those tips apply to not-disabled + not-disabled couples as well. 😄
Hello
One trait that's important to me: *intellect.* The ones you listed are important, for sure. But long before I was diagnosed with my chronic condition (Meniére's), brainpower was something I prized. I still do today. Beauty is nice & that initial spark is great but in any relationship, disabled or not, the one thing you will do more with your partner than anything else is _conversation._ For me, the conversation has to be interesting & an active mind is what makes it so. If all a woman can do is tell me about what she liked on Netflix last night or dish about her friends then, guaranteed, it will not last. My interests involve history (religious & military), politics (but am not an ideologue), & other stuff. I do small-scale woodworking; sonetimes I make wine. I've read a bit more than most people. I am not saying she must be into the same things I am but she should at least understand there is more to this life than run-of-the-mill concerns. Preferably, she should have some scholarly interests of her own. If I'm gonna have a partner, great...but she has to _think._ One's head is for more than a display piece for a hairstyle or hat.
I second that. I love when someone can appreciate me for my intellect. Once they see past the wheelchair and all thy myriad of quirks, they’ll find a curious, inquisitive mind. I’m attracted to the same. I’m also very attracted to compassion. Once I see a person’s capacity for true empathy, it’s a turn on. Let’s philosophize lol.
Sure intellect is key but personality also matter
I've been told that I am handsome; however, the same women will tell me they are or will be too embarrassed to go out with me. I used to think that these two statements were contradictory of each other but I then had a thought. The totality of my being doesn't revolve around being handsome. Nor does having cerebral palsy. I might walk a little off but when I drink I walk straight. But I digress, being attracted to someone because they are handsome is only superficial. It will only be a matter of time before they receive negative comments or get mocked for dating someone who walks like me and then she really feels self-conscious about being with me, before even being with me. It follows that not dating someone, or me because I walk differently is superficial.
Yeah it's tough because the world is not used to seeing people with disabilities in relationship so they think people will judge, but at the end of the day, we definitely don't need to be close to people who care what others think anyway. So fuck it. lol.
I love this..and I love you Lolo! Speak Truth! I don't know if you mentioned this but I'll add that if one is looking to date a disabled person stop thinking you "motivate" us to do things as if we dont do things already. For example one guy called himself motivating me to go places and get an adaptive car (LMAO just typing it cracks me up). And I'm like ..."I do go out!" and as for the car, it costs money just like any other car..money I aint got right now! like, Sir? You have assumptions about me,and disabled people in general, that are not even true...boy bye!
Thank you for enjoying my video!!! Girl I just speak what I know. lol. But yes! The "motivation" thing is a good one. I've had that before where a guy called himself motivating me to try and work out. And it's like sir I've explained to you that ALS works the opposite way the more I use my muscles the quicker they leave. And legit tried to debate me on it! I was like "I can't deal." lmao!!!
I have been somewhat seeing someone for a while, and I have to agree that the confidence is a huge thing. He's super extra, and whenever I'm with him its always a given that people stare at him rather than me. I'm used to being the one that's stared at, so its always nice when he's the center of everybody's stares rather than me lmao.
You're my west coast cousin in my head! 😂 Everything you said is the truth!!
Summer was aight, not caring about cuffin season.
Are you going to get Sitting Pretry shirts made?
hahaha I love that! YES! Sitting Pretty shirts are coming very very soon I PROMISE!
My fiancée has CP and we're getting married as soon as I get my Master's in Psychology.
I'm proud of who she is and I only see her heart.
Beautiful!!!!
"As these limbs will provide" !!! Your so great!!! Genuine honesty.. Have fun. I forget that sometimes.
1k!!!!!!!! You go girl!!!! I just laughed so hard when you were like I'm doing fine rolling around in my chair" 😂😂 That's me ALL the time.
Thanks boo!!!!! Girl cause it's the truth I'm doing just fine rolling around I didn't ask for their presence. lmaooooo.
Machandria be like hello please contact me on mohammadwilliams764@gmail.com
I realize being fun and comical is an important trait I am not going to deny that one, but I think having a willingness to stay in the house and cuddle or watch movies or read a book together. I can see the part about being fun, but I think some people need to just have a heart and realize that its not all about them. I want to have fun just as much as the next guy, but after being denied access or simply unable to participate in some activities since I have been disabled. I have lost interest. when I go to the movie theater with my girlfriend and I really do not care to see the movie you would think I would get points for being there not because I want to, but because I just want to be next to her. I mean I suppose this is getting into a slightly different subject, but sometime or most times I feel like we men want to be romantic we want to hug, we want to kiss, we want to hold your hand, we want to cuddle, but we are denied those things, because you didn't (feel) like it. so my advice to ladies would be put more importance on your man, and just a little less on yourself.
As a wheelchair user this video made me somewhat emotional on how accurate this is. It brought me to man tears 😭 I have experienced this on so many levels :)
Laughing is vety important
I love your advice. I have cp have kids and I'm divorced. I am so scared to put myself out there again. I have a dating app for disabled people and one with non disabled people. I want to love again.
You go, Ma'am!
'was doing fine just rolling around'--this made me laugh so hard. I'm hard of hearing and being able to have a sense of humour about it, not be serious about it is keyssss
Girl its necessary to have a sense of humor. I stay joking about my disability because if not, I would just be angry all the time and I aint got time for all that. lmao!!!!
Hi
I love this video & your personality! I love your view on dating while disabled I wish everyone felt this way. I'm scared dating unless I'm drinking or high BC I don't want to be misjudged or meet someone who tells me how great I am only to reject me after I tell them. I'm open but I stay inside all the time so I'm actually closed off. Congrats on owning your disability enough to share it with the world. I hope I am able to be that way soon. Hugs*
Thank you so much! Girl don't feel scared to date because whoever you're dating isn't perfect either. TRUST! lol. And if they reject you fuck what they say, it's their loss not yours boo. Keep working on what makes you happen and learn not to care about what others think and you will be perfectly fine. :) Thanks so much for watching!
You're welcome & lol you're so correct! I know they'd be missing out.. The problem is I'm tired of losing ppl. I'm sensitive & loving so when ppl lack empathy & no attempt to understand my condition I cut them off including my family. Im addicted to cutting ppl off who are no good for me at least mentally 😩 its the right thing to do but I'm tired. That's what I focus on daily me but I want human interaction & to date lol.. Its extremely bittersweet when ur disabled.
These are definitely tips Anybody looking for tips to dating should respect Well done BG
Right! Thanks for watching BG!
I'm glad I found you because you are a great representative of the community
That BE PATIENT part reminded me of that episode of Saved by the bell when Zack dated the girl from the teen challenge hotline and she ended up being a disabled female and Zack was making it known she was in a wheelchair and it embarrassed her very much because he was putting the focus on her being disabled
I don’t remember that episode!!!
@@SittingPrettyLolo 🤔 really LoLo? It was one of my favorites. You gotta see it
@@SittingPrettyLolo ua-cam.com/video/_3JL-asZpME/v-deo.html This pretty much explains the episode
I fight my hippocampus all the time. Meningitis and too many blows to the head-thanks to hundreds of pallets over the course of over seven years. I am proud of my fiancée. We're patient with each other because we understand each other-and we're each others' biggest supporters.
Glad you picked the Leather ones !!!!! lol Anyways this definitely had helpful hints I can admit I'd never think of easily accessible when she mentioned zippers etc... that's one I'll ALWAYS remember
I'm so glad you found it helpful!
Thanks for the video. Im aL4 L5 complete paraplegis since age 11. As a 38 year old man I still get so nervous dating and intimacy. Very scary stuff. Find that person.
I just started watching your videos and I love you sooooo much! You’re so positive and you look at different perspectives on certain topics and I really like that about you I’m subscribed and hit the bell!
Yours AWESOME! Took the words out my mouth!!
Love this!! I have Spina Bifida and I agree with every tip! Lol ❤️
Thanks so much for watching!! Glad I could represent. lol.
Seated With Christ I have spina bifida too and have a few physical needs that make me nervous about relationships. What if someone doesn't want me because of my wheelchair?? I feel like guys push away from me when they find out I like them. I try to explain to them that it's what's on the inside that matters to me but I can't get dates.
Sitting Pretty Lolo any advice?? I feel like all the UA-camrs are like, "do this, look like that and he will like you."
What if you're afraid to date because you are disabled and you know how easy it is for to get physically harmed and also because I'm a black woman and also for those stereotypes
Honestly I have the same concerns as well. At the end of the day we all have to take the necessary precautions when going on dates. Never expose exact details of where you live first hand, share your location on your phone with a loved one, send photos and social media accounts of your date to someone nearby etc. But don't let it completely stop you from finding love because luckily a majority of people in the world are really kind.
@@SittingPrettyLolo what if we don’t have our own vehicles and rely on our dates driving us? I struggle getting around this city that has terrible public transit. Kinda poor for too many übers too. I’m an immigrant and have been fighting my immigration case for decades so I’m currently just with DACA and as such can’t really get government help for things like disability or financial assistance for modification of a wheelchair accessible vehicle. I used to be very daring in my youth and ride with random men all the time but now that I’m nearing my 40s and looking back at how I’d often put myself in bad situations, I’ve been holding back with caution (COVID contributed to that too). I also have mental illness on top of my physical disability so I sometimes feel like I’m bound to continue the cycle of getting with the wrong kind of men. My last relationships was 6 years ago and he struggles with anger issues and alcoholism. The one before that hid me from his mamma. You’re right about the majority of people being kind. Despite my nihilistic tendencies, I still believe that. I just often find the situation hopeless. Great video by the way! You’re fanfuckintastic!
This is helpful I have cerebral palsy and wanting to date in college.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS WE NEED MORE OF THIS
Thank you!!!!!!
Yaas girl! 100% approve 👏
hahaha! Glad you enjoyed it!!!
31 year old well balanced man (in terms of life) and:👇🏻
You are On point
Girl you have it right on the head I’m a strong man with cerebral palsy using crutches to walk I’m genuine honest and open and well educated i’m patient to the Moon and back cross the earth three times that’s how patient I am or have been lately and I should say I’ve been single my entire life but as soon I hit my 20s say around 26/27 the whole single thing started and has been wearing on me all my friends are married and have their own lives and or in committed relationships I’m the last of my group and to be frank I want to be passionately touched and loved as I’ve never experienced any of that by a woman everything you said in the video is absolutely 100% correct I couldn’t say it any better and I recently tried my hardest to register for differing dating sites on the Internet but they all cost you can’t just find someone and connect I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong I’m honorable caring I respect women I try and do the best I can but my body is shutting down after years of using my crutches ignoring my doctors who are saying stop walking and use a wheelchair which I’m in transition but along with that transition I’d like to find my future wife at some point and it just hurts I’m living alone for the first time after my mom passing away recently in 2015 it’s been almost 3 years now and I know I’m sounding like a you know what but going from living with mom to living on your own for almost 3 years now in a silent apartment is nerve-racking and I would just like to be in a relationship someone who cares for me and only me could you give me some advice please thanks once again terrific video you hit right on the head and congratulations to you continued success sweetie thanks
From a guy who is trying
James aka JR
Love this!!!!
44 yrs old also walk using crutches and can totally relate to your comment about wanting to be loved despite your disability because I want the exact same thing
oop leg braces...skinny jeans and wheelchairs..no go but you know keep it cute and rollin boo..mhmm 😂😀
How you doing
This is what Men should realize about women who are disabled we want to be treated like any other normal woman.
this is so awesome I'm a new listener an I had say i have a disability an I'm not comfortable with the stares
Love this video you are amazing ,am dating someone who is in a wheelchair , he is amazing so lucky he came into my life,and he is a hottie ,i feel like god made me a nurse to prepare me for him ,can't wait to show him off to the world. That's my bAe lol
Yaaaaassssssss love that!!!!
Awesome Advice!
I have a disability (CP), nonverbal, and I live alone. I'm on a regular dating site, have a profile up with several pictures. I don't disclose my disability and I don't think you can tell from my pictures. Maybe? I write to several women almost every night mentioning their pictures and I ask something in their profile (favorite travel destination, favorite dish to cook). I hardly ever receive a response. They do view me but nothing more. I have been on other sites and disabled sites. Still nothing. Somebody even helped me with my profile. What am I doing wrong? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you.
Excellent presentation!
Love this vid, non-disabled person.
Yes Lolo Tell'em!!
Yas boo! lol.
Thank you for making this!
Of course!!
a really close friend of mines is in a wheelchair also & I just checked out the clothing website & those clothes are expensiveeeeeee😫😫😫
Lol! They can get pretty pricey, but they always have some great deals and if you use my LOLOIZ15 discount code, it can be applied to sale items too. :) Hope that helps!
Best video I have seen so far
Thanks so much!!!!
LOVED THIS! We need to do a collab!
Yay!!! Yes we really do!!
also shared this on my Facebook!
Thanks boo!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for this.
Loved the video 😀
Thank you!!!!
Hi I'm Maygan and i have a disability and i hate when people use baby voices like i am a smart adult and secondly i am an amputate I've always had "what's wrong with your leg" or "where's your leg" especially with kids now i know kids don't understand but i feel its the parent's job to educate them but I've also had older people say stuff and it sucks and yeah I'm new to your channel and had to subscribe 😊
Thanks for sharing boo!!!
Hi honey love from Spain. I am looking for friendship.
My WhatsApp 0034 678212086
I'm disabled I'm looking for someone for dating but can't find
Love you girl
new sub!! thanks for the tips I'm a man with cp and use a wc. I want to post this on fb.
Oh great! PLEASE POST IT. lol.
Hey Lolo!! My name is Elijah Laine. I also have the same feelings and I have a disability. I have hemiplegic cerebral palsy. I am wanting to date and I have that underlying feeling that no one will love me because of my appearance. Like you I see my friends getting girl friends and I've always been in the friend zone. I like this girl and I don't know if this girl likes me and I can't seem to figure it out and I don't think she knows that I really like her. She sees me as her gay best friend and introduces me to her friends that way when she knows I'm not gay. It is just my personality showing through. It's really frustrating because I don't know if it is the right time to tell her I like her. What do you think I should do.
Well honestly, I think it's incredibly rude of her to introduce you as a gay man if she KNOWS you're not gay. That doesn't sound like the behavior of someone who respects you, disabled or not. I personally think she's not someone you would even want to build a relationship with. Because if she's not honoring your sexual preference as a straight man, then she's not going to honor you as a disabled person. If its on your heart to tell her, then you can, but I honestly wouldn't say anything because its most likely not going to work in your favor simply because she doesn't seem to respect you as a person first. It'll be ok crushes come and go we just gotta stay faithful that a crush will turn into a love. :) Hope this helps boo!
Hey Lolo!! I ended up telling her I liked her tonight. It turned out awful. She doesn’t believe that she can support me as a person with a disability in a romantic relationship. She hasn’t been around people with disabilities that much. She said that she will never understand what it’s like to be a person with a disability. I know that this is true. She will never understand fully what it’s like to be a person with a disability. She believes that I need to find someone who has the understanding of the community of people with disabilities or I need to find someone who has a disability that understand what challenges I have.
Well that sucks that it was an awful experience, but we all go through them. If thats how she feels she's entitled to it. Gotta learn to move on from her because she's clearly not good enough for you. :)
dude act more masculine around her sit up straight look her in the eyes when she is talking do not apologize for any reason learn some jokes, and last but not least learn some masculine body language and display it around her. Do those things for a few days gauge her reaction, and then after a few days say something. I forgot one of the most important things treat her as an equal. I know every guy for the last hundred or so years has been told to treat women special most women do not want that. So I would work on treating women like you do your guy friends, and if you open the door for your guy friends do not open the door for this girl.
summer was wack so cuffn season bout to be a win lol
lmao I heard that!
loved the video
Thanks so much!
hello gorgeous
Lolo, This is my first time with you, and I'm down with your approach to LIVING with our disabilities. I'm gay, 52, and have Chorea-acanthocytosis ( www.naadvocacy.org/what-na ). It's genetic (from my maternal great-grandfather), and it changed so much in my life. I live in Oxford, UK, but I lived in NYC and Miami in America, and also in many different places in my life.
Thank you for bringing some sunshine into my life cos I needed it! I'm going to be watching you, and I have many friends with disabilities that need the positive spirit that hooked me into your show. You are a unique & unrepeatable Miracle, Lolo! Gans X
Subscribed!
Thanks!
do one on how to talk to a boy or how do you know he like you
oooooo that's a great topic I'll definitely write that down to make. Thanks!
Thank you
How to deal a person with traumatic brain injury?
I just subscribed
Thank yoooouuuuuu!!!!!
I looking for someone which one feel her very alone in this world. So writ me please
I'm tryna get like you someday 😍😍😍😍❤
haha I appreciate that!
What's a good website to sign up
I think it just depends on what you're looking for in a partner. There's so many different specialized ones now, but at the end of the day they all have the same goal of helping people find love.
I'm disabled but I despise disability I prefer normal and higher IQ intelligence not a bombination
I have cerebral palsy
I hate the stares an it gets me annoy an I attack verbally. It's hard to get a date u beautiful
Lolo, I'll bet you $5 you're supposed to be with that cat who walks by your window. It's a sign, girl.
She's pretty so her looks make up for any disability she has
💯💯💯
I love u
INTERSTING
woww you are so beautiful can i have your facebook ??
Talk less🙄