Entitlement is one of the reasons why having conflict with a narc is exhausting - *they always think they're right* (even when they're completely wrong) and *they never apologize/never want to apologize when they are factually wrong in the way they treat others.* 😤
The clever covert narcissist knows when to act empathetic and caring, as it is part of the facade to convince others of their wonderfulness. But, to close family members and those who already know who they are, the facade comes down and these people don’t deserve either caring OR empathy in the eyes of the narcissist. They are very hypocritical. My ex acted with impeccable manners, kindness and empathy when in public. But, at home, he treated us like dirt.
Entitlement is such a a huge part of the narrciscistic personality type. Yes, I have been called a Narcissist and up until now I felt almost ashamed to say it here. Deep to my core dr Ramini, I know I am not & never was. I am an Empath all my life. Sure I get the being a Mom when my babies were ill & those feeling's you spoke about, realising on reflection mine were no different to others waiting. When alone & waiting, I turned it around & took time to read a magazine. When I was called that name, I felt so alone and almost ashamed. I have been listening to your wonderful knowledge and wisdom for quite a while to confirm & assure myself I am not. I barely know how to breathe properly, It has been brought to my attention recently that I hold my breath (unconsciously). I attempted to make my relationship with ex work that it has severely impacted my health. I get stressed so easily. I find it a joy to just converse with my grandchildren,so lovely. Forever Grateful to you & thank you for your brilliant work & sharing. Apologies for long rant.
"Their wonderfulness", 🏆awesome...🙂 it's almost as if they're petting us with their right hand while stabbing us in the back with their left (her cat 🐱 split knowing it's future there)...
@God IS Love yes! I am very triggered by the comments in the videos of many people who defend her boyfriend. These people say: Gabby looks like the abusive one! What the heck?!? He’s the one who came home ALIVE!!! He controlled her. Oh my goodness! 😢😢
@God IS Love Awesome screen name! 1 John 4:8 is one of my top favorite Bible verses! Also Rom. 8:28, Acts 10:38. I love telling atheists that if they believe in either love or good, then they believe in the *same* God I do, just that I believe the Bible and that God has a body!
Taking a long walk along the river listening to the sound of nature . I'm burned out on people and all of the ways we hurt each other.healing for me is getting out of the rat race and being quiet and calming my mind by listening to mother earth...
Me, too. I'm very weary of this world, and go for walks in the woods. It's sad how detached people are from what is really important. Most people can't take their hands off their phones, let alone turn them off. Technology will be our downfall. I'm over it. :(
yeah I did that yesterday morning and am going to make time for it again this afternoon. Didn't realize how much I missed it. Enjoy your walks; keep it up.
I love your comment so! I sought peace and quiet of an island community, filled with birds and nearby parks. Unfortunately, I met up with someone who exhibited those red flags Dr. is warning us about. I didn’t know it! I waisted a lot of time and got hurt by this Narc, very hurt. Thank you for your comment. I’ll try to remember my peace and quiet goal.
The trails will all be filled to the brim if this keeps up, LOL, we will all be out taking a walk again and again..... I bless my kids and my dogs for their being here for me every day.. They are Adults and are finding the world a very broken place out there.
@@Feribrat99 Living in a highly populated area this already takes place here. specially during the covid restrictions masses of people flocked to the few small natureparcs around here, trampling everything, leaving tonnes of garbage, going into closed off area's destroying what little of nature is left here, letting their dogs kill the wildlife, playing loud music getting drunk, fighting with each other or the forest keepers even.. whole area's had to be closed off by the police..but they couldn't handle the crowds.. So, I thought i'll go to the river to find some peaceful solitude there, and as I'm standing on the shore looking out to the dusk setting in, there's a group of divers surfacing right in front of me, and as i'm thinking there's really no escape they made a complaint like comment when they see me that "there's people everywhere"!! 🤣🤣 Nick Straker Band - A walk in the park ua-cam.com/video/VF6fmUVpf10/v-deo.html Cheers 😉
Moral posturing is something that I have found almost always coincides with entitlement. They believe that their way is righteous or indignantly correct. Should you disagree with them, they will act as if you are challenging God (my mum behaves as if she is God incarnated as human) or that which is undeniably right. They rarely "meet in the middle" or find some form of compromise. It is almost always all or nothing or a your wrong and I am right scenario. There is rarely any kind of acceptance of your independence, individuality, and your point view. What you think and feel is almost always invalidated and tossed aside as an nonsensical. Thank you doctor.
Especially if you have no money because they stole it. Then they get on their high horse as if you should beg them for your money, saying things like “oh well, sorry for your luck” etc. They’ll act like they have your money because they’re so special, they “put in the time”, or they have virtues you don’t have. The feeling of control and superiority they get from money is almost scary, if it’s not so pathetic.
Whenever I hear about entitlement in narcissists, it always brings me back to an episode early on in my previous relationship. We were at a large outdoor flea market, and my ex had bought a bunch of things and left them piled up near someone's table. Then he got in the car and proceeded to drive out into the sales area, passing a very obvious barrier, and ignoring two people who shouted at him that he couldn't drive there. He just said "I have to get my stuff", like he was the only person there who had to "get his stuff". He then found some poor victim to help him carry his purchases to the car, and spent the whole time whining about having to follow the rules that no one else had any problem with. For the next couple of days, I was kind of depressed, wondering if I was making a big mistake being with someone so immature. If only I had known!
@mountain blue “I felt he just handled it badly” he handled it badly because of his entitlement. He thought he could drive into an area that was closed off for cars, continued his behaviour even after people informed him of the rules, then complained about said rules even though they applied to everyone, and made random people help him out in a (by the sounds of it) not so nice or grateful way. Seems like lots of entitlement right there. If it was a situation that only happened once and someone felt sheepish and sorry if their partner brought it up to them afterwards because they genuinely hadn’t realized they were acting pretty rude to the people around them, maybe it could’ve been a situation that was just handled badly. But this was someone OP has been in a relationship with, on a video about narcissism, and they said “if only I had known”. I think it’s safe to assume this was simply one early red flag of a full-blown personality pattern. I’m not sure if your comment was serious, but saying things like “you could have just...” when someone is talking about someone else’s bad behaviour is rarely a great thing to do. It’s no one else’s responsibility how other people behave, and almost everyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissistic person has tried countless times to act in a certain way or say the right thing to try to make the narcissist be less entitled and consider people around them. But if someone doesn’t want to be respectful and care about others, it doesn’t work. And that’s 100% on them.
Narcissists cannot live without entitlement, praise and applauses since they have nothing inside. That's why they like adultory people too much. Thank you so much Dr.Ramani, for your precious efforts🙏❤
Let me share something I gleaned from Lundy Bancroft's 'Why Does He Do That?': Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement and the branches are control; the soil is disrespect and the garden is resentment. The author is referring to abusive partner relationships. I still feel we use the term Narcissist to avoid a more emotive one: abuser.
Yes they’re all entitled but the narcissist will tell you it’s not and have some type of crappy rationalization as to why they should get special treatment. Thank you Doctor Ramani ❤️
Yes! They're always prepped with excuses. And excuses for the excuses, even! Or they'll throw the ol' "I was doing this to help you out, you should be grateful". 🤢
@@joseenoel8093 gas on the fire lol! I'm laughing, but it's true! Just had to deal with it an hour ago lol. I'm at the point of just laughing in private, at how ridiculous narcs are. It must be miserable to be miserable all the time.
I thought the most dangerous type of narcissist was one that had been to therapy? They learned techniques of control from the therapist with a more surgical way to manipulate and attack. It’s so scary
Touché! One sister was in therapy a lot & learned to be more manipulative; it eventually failed miserably. The other sister thought she had her M.S.W. because her daughter had it! I know WHY her daughter went for it & am positive she’s a better parent as I’ve seen her nurturing her own children.
I know how you feel when I met my wife she was in therapy it wasn't until two and a half nearest afterwards all hell broke loose she changed drastically she started verbally abusing me and my daughter and that did it right there I was not putting up with that crap so she left and that's the best thing she could have done and so now we are divorcing it will probably be a long while before I think about someone else again they can be very hard to spot some time so I wish you well
We must all manage the narcissists in our life the way Dr Ramani manages her disruptive cats: do not defend, do not engage, do not explain, do not personalise. They have no choice but to walk away...🐈
1. Don't confuse being special with getting special treatment 2. Learn to be mindful and regulate 3. Dig into your core belief 4. Try and watch the situation from the outside 5. Create interpersonal space (listen to people) 6. Be on time
You’re right Dr. Ramani; entitlement issues are a major problem in our society now. It’s pervasive and destructive. Luna😻, thank you for making a guest appearance.
This 💯💯💯! This is the biggest issue for me with narcs.. the entitlement is what let’s them think lying to me is ok. Also the entitlement let’s them think it’s ok to break rules and commit crimes.. all while nonstop complaining about others who are doing the same crimes.
since you collect narcissism stories- you're gonna love this - I had a friend who worked as a secretary in a hospital who, just hours after undergoing major surgery (i think it was when she had to have a hysterectomy), woke up to find some of the people in her office standing at her bedside asking her to help them with some paper work that they were trying to get done... unfreakingbelievable
Exactly, I once said to my ex that he should please stop doing something and he said: „you have said this already 64 times, you should know already I will not do this‘
I wish this world enough courage to start pushing back to stop what seems to be quickly engulfing this world we live in. Thank you Dr. Ramani once again for opening our eyes 🌹
Sadly, just went through an “entitled” situation last night with no concern for our family or others. It is heartbreaking, but I am getting stronger and learning how to deal with these situations better. Thank you so much for your videos. Thank you! It certainly hurts others, but to be able to handle the situation and being able to know it isn’t my fault, is amazing. When others show their “entitlement”, we don’t have to blame ourselves for their choices.
I am going to write the following sentence down for future reference: "We don't have to blame ourselves for their choices." -Regardless of how many more people in other types of communal narcissism too may be out there trying to pin us down in blame for what some perpetrator of crime choices that were being made at the time. Blame for any crime should always be resting squarely only on the shoulders of the criminals who were responsible for doing the crimes against humanity instead of becoming thanks to people with a like minded mob mentality then getting evenly distributed across other people who had next to nothing to do with how it happened.
Forgot to mention that you are probably or already had these stalkers contact you acting like moral people. They are sick, degenerates that are obsessed with me for over 2 decades, and connect with everyone that I do. I cannot even get an apartment because they defame me. I cannot stay here where I am currently living because I cannot afford the rent ever since my mom was forced to go to an assisted living facility. It's a long story, but it has to do with stealth technology and manipulations.
@@selfesteem3447 your comment really is no help to so many people. For many people going no contact is just not AN option. And for people to so nonchalantly just say “just gonna contact” like it is choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream Is really condescending. For many women they may be stuck in contact with them foe children or finances. Many women stayed at home with their children and lost their place in the working world. If you have small children, daycare costs much more than any average job they can get with little Experience these days. You say they can get child support, oh yeah sure. So you know how many very successful people do not pay their child support? Do you know how long it takes to get a divorce? Over a year and that is the short version which people with children will not get. Who will pay for their living expenses during that time while the Narc punishes them in hopes of making them come back? If the adult in the situation can not handle the Narc very well on their own. How the heck do you think those mi or children will handle them on the visitation days all alone with no adult to help out? I am really sick of people commenting to just go no contact. Life is not that dang easy. If it was easy for you to go no contact. Great. Congratulations. That is wonderful for you. I wish you much more success. But for those who may be stuck in a situation that took them years to finally understand what was going on, many can not just go no contact even though they may wish to. I think everyone watching these videos is struggling. When they read the comments. They want helpful advice on how to keep going when they can not just go no contact. If you can not give them some ways to cope better than just “go no contact” maybe you could refrain from commenting. Cause when someone is down, they need some help and ideas on how to get back up. Not someone who kicks them while they are down and says why did you allow yourself to fall down? One of the reasons I think so many respect Dr. Ramani so much is she understands that some people are stuck in a situation that is not good or sometimes really bad and they are not able to get out right now. Her help to understand and try to give you coping skills is what makes her stand out as a true leader and healer.
Narks are mere master insectual mimics of what separates man from animal..stay if you feel you must..but know in time you will be faced with a ruined life.
Entitlement is my mother calling my wife (then gf) trash, not taking accountability or apologizing, and then getting mad that she wasn’t more involved in the wedding planning.
@@annasluka6708 Exactly!… “They are “MY”grandchildren!.. So therefore, “I” as their grandmother is entitled to them!” Narc Translation: They are “MY” property!.. and “MY” blood!.. My this, and my that, and…
Thank you. " Entitlement = Lack of Empathy" Huge narcissistic red flags. Grateful for this acknowledgment as it was so very normalized in my immediate family. It's a nasty trait and I do my best to stop it when it comes up. Thanks again Dr.Ramani for this important video !!!💜
I’ve also seen family members who have entitlement narcissistic behaviors. From over talking and interrupting a person talking when it have nothing to do with them. I’ve learned not to engage with narcissist because it’s a total waste of time.
How to deal with them it's so difficult they never tell us important information nd never go along untill we give them entitlement of our hardwork it's majjjor problem m facing idk what to do
It has educated me so much in 48 hours saw it all, set a boundary and it was over. He already had a new source of supply and let me know. When I broke it off he apologized ( fake) he wanted me to break it off after the dump. Imagine him apologizing and listing ALL he did for me? How arrogant! He was giving me 2 hrs of his time once a wk AND living with someone who he said he told me about but waited months into the relationship. It’s constant drama. I was exhausted despite crumbs. Thank you I am not a martyr.
That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and the girlfriend who's not realy his girlfriend break up over the course of like eight hours or some shit. He's completely exhausted by the end of it. Made a great episode, but in real life? Hell no!
Thank you in addressing the stereotype that the Narc does not want to change. Yes, some are not self-reflective, and in the same light, some are. Giving tools for people who want to overcome their negative tendencies is a great way to reduce the damage done by Narcissism. Thank you Doctor Ramani.
Thank you Dr. Ramani, this community you’ve created always seems to “get it.” It’s nice to be understood. Your Kitty always makes me smile when it makes an entrance too.😸
Your videos give me hope. I self gaslight a lot. I'm a survivor and I feel I have some narc traits - like feeling unsafe and invalidating others while I'm in survival mode. Working on myself and staying away from the kind people I've hurt. This week's homework was to be mindful and self-regulate, be in the present and go against my natural instict when I feel under threat. I did it today. Thank you for bringing so much clarity to my world and showing me that I can heal and change if I choose to 💜💜 what confuses me most is that I'm usually very empathic and people are drawn to me for that - there was a self-betrayal mode to that sometimes...
We were at a church buffet. The lines were long and my husband and I were near the back of the line. He took my hand and managed to get very near the front of the line. I was a very timid person back then so I didn't feel empowered to say anything to him. If we were caught in traffic, he would ride the shoulder of the road to get in front of all the other cars. Thanks to your teaching, Dr. Ramini, I'm no longer voiceless. He treats me with obvious hatred now, because I address his wrong behavior.
Ouch, that is grandiose. So sorry. My N person would rather be the hero who goes last in the church buffet line, even if he barked at his family on the drive to the event. Hmmm… 😂😂 the dissonance is real.
I have seen a lot of that on the roads in my lifetime, it is always just so ballsy of people but they almost always get away with it too. I have blessed a few cops who actually saw it and pulled them over to ticket them. Those moments are rare though.
Similar thing happened to me and my ex-boyfriend at water world. long lines and there was a lot of confusion of what line is for what kind of tickets.. but when we found the line we were supposed to be in it was very long. and he tried to pull me up in front of other people. And I was so totally horrified and embarrassed. And I can't remember what I said or did. But I must have made it really obvious because we moved to the back of the line. And he was bitching all the time. I guess I was horrified because I've never been with anybody who tried to do that except in elementary school.
I’m an Aussie so we’re partial to a bit of casual road raging lol. I get the shits with traffic and parking spots as much as the next person but my narc husband flat out refuses to get a driver’s license to help me out so some of my annoyance comes from driving him around listening to him whinging about everything for kilometres at a time. 🙄🙄
Sadly, running the breakdown lane is so common around Eastern Massachusetts that, at one point there were signs on certain highways describing when this was, and was not permissible. My husband is quite willing to wait his turn to merge, he gets mad when people don’t take turns. LOL!
I'm glad you mention your little mistakes because we feel better about making our own. It reminds us that we are all human and all make such mistakes. We are all still learning! It's OK to be human! Thank you for all your work. I recall telling one entitled jerk off in a line years ago. It was just for ice cream, but I didn't care. The jerk had to wait in line like everyone else. The following morning, a radio talk show host announced that another host on a competitor's radio channel was upset about being told to wait in line. You can imagine how I giggled when I realized it must have been the jerk I had told off the previous day! This was years ago, long before I knew anything about narcissism. I just thought I had an attitude, but no, my narc radar was already working back then!
As an empath, I can't count how many times I've worried if I've hurt other people without meaning to and usually the little situations I worry about are nowhere near the amount of hurt that narcissistic people cause others. It's good to know that a lot of empaths worry about that, though.
I grow up with a narcissist father and all my life I thought that I was guilty for react against his entitlement, you make me cry this time dr. Ramani, but with a good cause I’m out of that hell inside my memories, thank you
Around here waiting in line is kind of fun, people like to talk with each other and just enjoy while they’re waiting. Seems narcissistic personalities might be kind of missing out on one of the pleasures of life.
Yes, you are spot in with entitled people feeling they don't need to consider other people's feelings and then get angry when called out on it. I am dealing with that on an almost daily basis, and it's so frustrating. Entitled people also never apologize, they never take a step back when called out on bad behavior. We can all act mean and unbecoming sometimes, but most of us don't feel entitled to hurt others, and will take a step back when we do and reflect.
I’m in a workplace where the head of HR is a hardcore narcissist. They abuse and bully and belittle others. They straight up claim that they’re entitled to do so because they’re the smartest and most competent person in the organisation, have exactingly high standards, and know what’s best for others. Yes, I’m actively looking for other work, though it’s taking far longer than I’d hoped.
Years ago my narc mother was blowing up my phone as usual but one night while watching a movie, I didn't answer her call. Within 30 mins the local sherriffs were at my house doing a " wellness check." She used law enforcement to get me to call her back. She could not wait 2 hrs for my movie to end, that she knew I was watching. I'm so glad she passed away. Thank you Dr. Raining for another spot on, truth telling video.
The 'baby people' have imperative thinking. Their arrested development has them functioning often at the age of a toddler. They 'grew up' with insecure attachment to 'adults' who were also disconnected. So, they are seldom able to 'see' other individuals outside of themselves unless the individual is supplying/complying with a need. Their approach to life is very simplistic and fear-based. In my growth journey, I choose to stop sleep walking and open my eyes to our humanity. Growth spurts hurt, though.
Children have to be learned to share and not just take the toy their sibling was playing with by force. Unfortunately most children are raised by adult children.
The part about saying what they want and do what they want without considering others 100% describes the narcissist that abused me. He can wait in line. He is excellent at appearing humble publicly. But he does interrupt people and talk over people. He runs over people with words and feels entitled to do so when he thinks he is right (and he always thinks he is right).
I used to be late because I was dysregulated not because I felt entitled. I used to overwork, over plan, feel too tired but still feeling compelled to do it. Only enough rest and dealing with the deregulation helped.
Same! But I always slide in the back row and figure out what is going on without inconveniencing anyone. I get really annoyed when people roll in late and expect the full treatment, the meeting has to stop and we all have to catch them up! I don’t want to slow this down or repeat the boring stuff I’ve already sat through. If you wanted that you should have come on time lol just slide in the back and piece it together quietly so we can all go home on time! Lol! If you’re going to be late, you better know how to be late. I try not to inconvenience anyone. It’s a me issue, and I try to keep it that way! It’s not the coming late so much as the expecting to have their hand held through what they missed. I also get annoyed when people treat punctuality as if it were the main virtue that gets you into heaven. Some of us just aren’t punctual. But it’s possible to be a little messier with time and still be an extremely considerate person.
My sister has always been like that. The best thing I ever did was to act aloof and even amused when she started insulting the hell out of me for no reason. I just smiled and kept doing what I was doing. It was so good! After that, she didn’t have any power over me. Luckily, we finally agreed that we don’t like each other & we don’t communicate or interact anymore. She still acts stupid if I see her (which is rarely, thank goodness!) but I still ignore it.
She’s likely projecting, with narcissistic personalities it’s as automatic an ego defense as some other kinds of projectile activity that might be in defense of your stomach.
I had never experienced entitlement at a mind blowing level until I was married to narcissist. The rules were always different for him and the expectations for me were often out of reach. Being late is something I am working on, my issue is that I think I can fit more in a certain time line than I really can. But I am always super embarrassed and just keep quiet. I am learning to give myself much more time than I think I need to avoid this as well as other things so that I can be early instead of late to things. I also take steps to let someone know if I do in fact end up running late BEFORE I am due to be someplace. I come from a long line of what my grandfather called dinking around that made my grandmother late to everything. Looking back, I have to wonder if it was something she did to have just a little bit of control over my very bullish narc grandfather, food for thought....
I'm also not great at being on time... I think, however, it is because I have time blindness. I can be slow, have trouble making decisions about what to wear and bring, do not always realize how much time something is going to take me, and think of last minute things I need to take care of before departing.
I also am horrible with time. I try, I really do, but I just always seem to believe I have a lot more of it to get things done than I do. I try not to disrupt things, however, when I arrive. I'd rather blend in than draw attention to myself. I was always running a little behind to begin with, though generally not too late, but now I have some pretty significant health problems that slow me down further. Problem is, despite years of dealing with them, I still seem to think that I can do things in the time I could before (which, remember, was already a bit behind!), so I am even slower. I even try to start earlier, but I just don't seem to have a clue how much earlier I need to begin getting ready. I don't think I"m a narc, however. I have good intentions, and I treat others with kindness and am a patient person, I just am not an on-time person. I have to say, though, I'd give anything if the narcs I am surrounded with just had the problem of running a little late and not being so entitled in the way that they demand special treatment and don't have a problem taking mean jabs at people or demanding control of their lives. I'll take a person running late any day over one of those monsters!
Me too.. always late, it seems. I think it stems from feeling controlled by my narc parent.. always rushing me to suit her agenda, her schedule, her priorities. I work in a field where I see one client per hour. I stay on time all day, usually not a problem. What’s a problem is GETTING there on time. I try, to the point of anxiety at times. Then I feel AWFUL when I arrive late. And I like to blend in the back of events . I do not expect anyone to wait for me. However, I , too have had a hand injury, which slows me WAAAY down in the morning. My subconscious reverts to its old schedule in the morning , and since the injury, and now the chronic pain, I move slower than I think.
My wife has ADD. Time issues is part of that, especially without medication. Someone who doesn't know her could take it as entitlement, but when you have limited ability to prioritize (so you try to do everything) or to think in a temporally linear manner, that's not entitlement. It can lead to entitlement if someone has an attitude that they can't help it so everyone else has to accommodate. Sounds like you make a real effort to be better.
That's a very educational and clarifying video! Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your continued outstanding work and kind support in helping people from around the world to become aware of narcissism and ultimately live better, healthier lives and make better, healthier choices. Wishing you much health and sucess! Kindest regards from São Paulo, Brazil. 🇧🇷
I am employed at an academic institution. The overall culture supports it's employees continuting bachelor's, masters, and even Ph.D degrees. I had 5 years of study in, and was a Junior undergrad. It was fairly systematic with my managers and their bosses approving my schedule. I would post it to my public calendar, and send digital and print copies to everyone it would concern, just to keep people informed. When my current manager came in, I followed the same process and he called me during the first week of classes demanding to know where I was. I cleared it up after I returned to the office, and he did it again the very next day. I dropped out from stress, thinking he would clean-up his act after some time under his belt. Years later, I mentioned returning to finish my degree, and without missing a beat he said "You Don't Need A Degree!" That was when the narcissistic entitlement really became obvious.
Get that degree. You should have a graduate degree and a license by now and then you can leave if you want. Keep it a secret too. We know now to never reveal grand plans to a narc because they will smash them.
I can't be the only cat lover out there who was tickled by the fact that the adorable feline sauntered right across the screen during Dr. Ramani's talk about entitlement. Does anyone need a visual aid?
Again DR.RAMANI I'm still an infant who is jus learning tha language & yes in tha need of milk,w/no teeth & not able to speak & not have a palate of words,understanding its like my brain & body had a lot of readjustment & yet thru all Ur videos I'm being taken into a new spiritual realm it like I'm being brought into so many thangs ,Wow I say again Wowwowwow, & I thought I knew jus who I was w/me,myself,& I whew !! I'm not heartless ,I to is in a narcissistic relationship,& yet peoples tell me I'm too laid-back,I don't speak up,I take alot off of peoples,I cried & cry to seeing DR.RAMANI hidden hurt, not knowing it's a job to deal w/Amerikkka @ tha past,present & future's tense,U have opened my minds,given me a new walk,I have to keep coming back cause I jus can't get enuff,& yes I close my eyes & laying on my leftside its absorbs more,Well Lady hope Ur Twins,Ur Dynamics.....?
What I love about this Dr.Is although she is “entitled “ to so much her kind ,compassionate manner shines in her videos.If I could only learn to give people advise in the way she does I guess I would be more humble and less entitled about my accomplishments .My hat goes off to you Dr .I learn something new everyday by listening to you .Thankyou for teaching me to teach myself how to live in this world the opposite way than what I watched and heard around me as a child .I am all grown up now and I can make my own kind ,loving choices.Also I can talk to my inner child and tell her she is loved and safe now.That the world isn’t out to get me(like my family was).Love is possible to give and receive.
I know I spent too much time growing up in a narcissistic family to not have it rub off on me. This subject keeps me on my toes. You are the most wonderful thing on UA-cam Dr. Ramani ! You never fail to put a smile on my face! Hope your workshop yesterday was a smash hit. Thank you for this subject today! You’re the best !!!
I loved this epsiode, Dr. R. I liked the detailing , the sequence of whats and whys of entitlement and most importantly, how to unlearn and regulate this trait. I also found to be a very pivotal topic for raising kids in a healthier manner. Thank you🌸💞
Love that you are doing a series talking directly to the narcissists. I will be forwarding these to my husband. The last few major meltdowns that he's had, it has helped immensely to be able to send him one of your videos that explains what he's doing and why.
Interesting. Most actual Narc’s will not take sending them a video to explain what they are doing well at all! They do not take responsibility for their actions. They play the victim always.
I'm so sorry Doctor Ramani..... Hello kitty!!!!!!!!!! Prrrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxxx 😻😻💙💙 When your cat photobombs your important video, and steals the show.... But finally, after going through your prior years of videos, we meet you cat. 💙💙💙 This makes me really happy today. Animals are a wonderful comfort to just even see on UA-cam.
Thank you for the heart Doctor Ramani. I don't know if you've checked emails today, but this really means a lot. Thank you. I don't want us to invade your privacy, nor distract from your central purpose.... but it would be wonderful to have a video one day seeing your art collection? Of course, absolutely do not want to invade. And a cat cameo would be most welcome too! Thank you again for the heart. One of those days life slapped someone I love and need to be strong for now.
Doctor, does your cat have a "no closed doors!" thing.... If you lock them out whilst filming, or in the bathroom, etc, they will yowl and almost break the door down? I had a hilarious image of your team sneaking around the camera trying to tempt the cat away with some fresh chicken. 😂
Frequently and consistently reminding yourself that you're no more entitled to anything than anyone else is really helpful with keeping your emotions and thoughts regulated and helps with managing stress. I appreciate you sharing the honest moment you had years ago at the doctor appointment when you needed to work that day with all the stress it put you under and how you caught it and put it into perspective to ground yourself. You reminded yourself that the other people in the waiting room didn't cause the situation you were in and everyone needs to wait their turn, and that's been something I've been doing to help me be much more patient with others in times of stress : simply tell myself, "they didn't do this to me. They didn't cause this, and I still have to wait my turn with everyone else." Thanks again for all of your helpful videos on this subject!
So true 💯! Preach Dr. Ramani! 🙌 So many people are entitled and think they are special these days sadly. My mother is so entitled! If she calls she expects you to jump and answer or her wrath of anger and rage comes out immensely.
Questions at the start: 1: Context-dependent, but strong weight on 'yes' 2: Context-dependent, but moderate weight on 'yes' 3: Yes. Just yes. 4: Also yes. I suspect all my qualifiers and attempts at understanding make me more vulnerable to these behavior patterns, though.
Unfortunately, the narcissists I know would either not think this applies to them or in the more sociopathic individuals it will serve as instructions of how to act in public while still being unbelievably entitled in private.
Thank you very much for this information ! This reminds me of my first job when I moved to CA, on the management team was a person with an MFT. It was my first exposure to this style of leadership. I was super impressed with their boundaries and consistant delivery of sound information as well as active corrections of peripheral BS in person and behind closed doors! A big departure from my primary environment where there continues to be meandering spontaneous facts, alignments, and moods! Unfortunately even this persons amazing leadership was not enough to keep the agency on track! After 2-3 years everyone left except of course for the individual who made it up as they went, and pretended not to know what was happening!
Princess mentality. They think the world owes them something and they deserve something special; but have no pity for others, but will expect special treatment if they want to play victim.
Entitlement is a word I don't quite understand since I'm not yet there with learning English. If I translate it to German, it means "berechtigt" and this means something like "I'm not entitled to drive through this road since there's a sign prohibitting it."
Thank you for all the great videos. I am not in a relationship with a pathological narcissist but as an empath I attract them as harassers. My previous activism against tyranny and globalism has also put me on the radar spiritually so every demonic minded narcissist I encounter harasses me and your vids have helped me a lot dealing with them! I also think you are quite beautiful! 🌹
Wow great video. Perfect examples. Yes core issue is entitlement with Narcissistic people.Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us .It really is empowering to survivors.To clarify various examples further enlightening us. Sending much love and hugs 🤗💓💓💓
Love how your cat needs to be seen. My cats do the same thing Love how you address this I work customer service on the phone and deal with "entitled " people daily Thank you Dr Ramani
For any of us transitioning from past harming patterns, as in addiction, we carry a large amount of guilt and remorse for having put others through our struggles. Please take steps to forgive yourself for what you view as unfair actions towards others, while struggling with addiction. As always Dr. Ramani, thank you for you care.
The examples you gave Dr.Ramani at the beginning - late to a meeting, not being a good listener atleast these 2, can be behaviors of people with ADHD and they need not be narcissistic do you agree? There are many adults that have ADD(attention deficit) and may just lack executive functioning skills that result in them being late for events, or not being good listeners. While taken on its own some of these events may make them look entitled, they would not exhibit any of the other narcissistic traits like grandiosity or lack of empathy for others.
Ransomed Heart nails it. ADHD may cause chronic lateness, it may cause someone to talk over other people. However, what they are saying when they do it tells the tale. Is it an idea or solution they have to communicate right now or they’ll loose it? How do they react if they’re shut down? If they’re embarrassed and fold into a shell you have ADHD. If they get mad?? Also I’m willing to bet they can co exist in the same person…
Wonderful, Wonderful. As an elementary/middle school para, I see so many young people without these skill who would be genuinely happier with them! Exhausting work, but so worth it at any level.
I'm chronically late. My concept of time is extremely poor and I'm highly distractable. I look at the clock "OK 20 minutes to go. Excellent. " And as I get ready I'm thinking "20 min 20 min 20 min. Probably 15 min now"... Then I check the clock and "I should have left 10 min ago?! Oh no!!" Hustle hustle out the door. Notes, alarms, other reminding triggers I've tried them all. A very early appearance of Dr Phil on Oprah a lady stood up and asked for help about lateness and he outright called her entitled and to stop being selfish and that will solve it. "You made it here on time didnt you?" No consideration she might have come with friends who extra pushed her *because Oprah!* And she looked humiliated and sat down. I've never forgiven him for this. I went through severe depression late 90s and was always unkempt. I mostly always am but back then I barely showered. I went to the VA to get cognition testing (which was a joke of puzzles and word memory games which is what my mind is geared toward so I aced it) and they made a note that I was well groomed. Well that was because you always brush your teeth before the dentist type of auto pilot. Going to the doctor isn't daily life and this is a place innocent people might have to touch you so "at least shower for THEIR sake". The student clinician didn't even fill out her/my form all the way. I added more "if this is inoortant?" info at the end (left handed and childhood hedwetter) and she was "Oh that's on the form" and filled it in like it was nothing. I didn't get the help I needed once again. I never stop for coffee!! I not perfectly coiffed with an hour of make up anf clothing perfection. I'm a bedraggled mess. 😟
I just talked with a friend who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. It went undiagnosed for a long time as she is nearly 40. She said women arent often diagnosed until they are 50. I hope you get answers soon!
@@Jess-kn8vl Thanks! I know now that I do have ADD (not the more publicized hyperactive type) and a LD from CPTSD. This sht is hard and people on the surface see a smart person* who "doesn't care, such potential what is wrong with her? not motivated, such a pity". I know it because occasionally people with other disorders outright ask me (a friends Asperger's with PhD boyfriend asked me once flat out what is holding me back. "I'm confused. You're smart so why are you not accomplishing more?" I forgive his bluntness because he's not neurotypical); * When I got tested finally at my school's disability center, I was diagnosed with LD but with a high IQ which is a TERRIBLE combination if you're a child counting on adults to help you. Smart with high distraction to them (back then) was lazy, doesn't care, obstinate, etc. No one thinks "This girl needs help."
@@C.Church I can relate I also have CPTSD and its a bundle of comorbidities that people outside of living with me dont understand. Which only continues the cycle of isolating at times due to feeling out of place but looking "normal".
@@Jess-kn8vl Oh man. I'm really sorry about that because... yeah, we feel each other. It's a tough spot. They don't see the obstacles you have. It's like the old days people who had pains and inability to physically engage in life were diagnosed with "woman's imaginary problem" and given aspirin and patted on the head and told to buy herself something pretty. NOW we know about fibromyalgia etc. If a girl experiences it, it's imaginary. Ugh. I took an EMT class last year. The prof said men are actually MORE likely to seek medical help and women less likely. He said it was women are more likely to say "I'm ok. I'll deal with it..." I know it's probably because we just feel like no one will listen anyway. And men are used to saying "Problem here" and people examine the problem. When women say "Problem here" people examine her credibility instead.
@@C.Church Yes its unfortunate theres a stigma. In the 70s my mom was diagnosed with "housewife syndrome" when she got a second opinion she was extremely hyperthyroid. She said she remembers her leg shaking on the gas peddle driving to these appointments. I feel like there is too much covert abuse and female misogyny! Like this latest story about poor Gabby Petito, that body cam footage was obvious to me she was being emotionally abused it just breaks my heart!
Entitlement is one of the first red flags of Narcisistic tendencies we can notice either in ourselves or others. Thank you for sharing your wisdom dr Ramani.
"Why did you lie to me?" "Because I knew if I told you the truth you would get upset. Would you really want to be upset right now? I don't want to see you upset. What good would that do? Why would you want stir things up? Then we would both be upset. I mean, who the h-ll wants that? Can't we just have some peace around here when I get home?" Then you hear "God" in a huffy, exasperated state as they walk out of the room. The End
i have found that sometimes withholding minor truths around someone who likes to over react is a lot better than having to justify yourself over what is usually fk all . i think my ex best friend had this narc syndrome and if i were to go out anywhere fun i would say i was going with my mum for the day , if i told him i was going out with another friend then it would end in a fall out guilt trips, text essays, he would tell me how i hate him and am abandoning him. so i j ust lied , does that mean i'm entitled
Mine would always say, "it's not what you think." and then never explain what was actually going on. It was revolting. Eventually I just had enough and walked. But I wish I'd walked so much sooner, before I'd invested so much energy in trying to make it work. When they show entitlement view it for what it is. IGNORE the bullshit excuses they make. Gross behavior has no excuse. Remember that. And TRUST your gut and core beliefs.
My sister in law has been always my stressor, but it became serious problem when she moved in to our house before she found a house. She is the most entitled person I can think of. Her favorite word is "I've earned it". She believes everything she can earn to get it. But her "earn" means more like "deserve". There is no such thing as "we" or "appreciate" in her statements. So when she "earns" means she force someone to compromise it for her, because she thinks she deserves to have it.
Some entitled people are strict rule followers but they’re more entitled to less concrete things like your emotional energy, your loyalty, your time, etc. But this Entitled Person can’t be bothered to return the Time Support Financial Help Affection when you’re in having a rough time ☹️☹️
I practice D.E.E.P. when faced with entitlement and rage. I usually don't defend, or engage or explain or personalize. If I strongly need to get it off my chest, I write it down on a piece of paper and read it to myself and realize that narcissistic people will never understand. So I don't waste time trying to make them understand! Thanks Dr. Ramani 🙂
What frightens me more than anything is how gullible so many of us are. I grew up with a narcissistic mother & had to develop a thick skin. Look around you. Entitlement is everywhere…
Thank you so much! It is useful for me as an Asperger too. I am quickly angry if something goes too slowly or goes a wrong way. It's not about another people ( in my case) but it's useful for me too, to learn staing calm.
The distraction exercises you give are the ones I'm given for chronic pain distractions. Noticing your surroundings really helps especially looking at how light captures your home items. Thank you for this video, I often worry I'm a narcissist but I'm realising it's the negative talk my mum & sister's used to shout at me if I displayed discomfort with their behaviour or treatment. I even sent my husband the video of the covert type to see if I was that as he laughed when I mentioned it 😂 but it's just now I'm learning boundaries it feels very selfish, even knowing it's not because I'm still worrying about the narcissists. 🤦🏽♀️ Thank you so much for your videos. 🙏🏾
My ex is an identical twin. I watched and heard so many stories about when she would do some really nasty things to her sister and did she ever feel entitled to. It’s all so sad and upsetting.
Wow the 100th comment. Give thanks for this meditation Doc. Todays my daughter's Earthday and im going through this currently with the mother. We appreciate your Divine Energy. Abundance of Free Spiritedness be unto you and yours.
In this unprecedented times the young people are become a selfish society. Entitlement, exist in 2days' society. I hope that he youngsters will be bless by these valuable teaching. Very valuable & at my senior age, l am learning fr. u.TQ
And if you are an employer, respect your employees' right to leave on time as much as you expect them to come to work on time. Remember that work, as well as all life, is a two-way street.
Your 😺 cat made a cameo 🤣. Very cool 😺. Thank you for the great work you are doing. My father,thinks that he entitled all his friends,running in-and-out of his house 24/7.thay are no rules for his friends. But me he, was rules for me.
"Entitlement is deeply connected to lack of empathy. "
Understatement
Entitlement is one of the reasons why having conflict with a narc is exhausting - *they always think they're right* (even when they're completely wrong) and *they never apologize/never want to apologize when they are factually wrong in the way they treat others.* 😤
Oh, they will apologize, they just won't change.
I can't stand their fake ass apologies.
They don't know about putting up and shutting
up with to keep the peace because peace isn't what they're after!
…and then they lie
They may apologize insincerely,then want you to apologize to them to feel superior blame you and to accept their own bad behavior
The clever covert narcissist knows when to act empathetic and caring, as it is part of the facade to convince others of their wonderfulness. But, to close family members and those who already know who they are, the facade comes down and these people don’t deserve either caring OR empathy in the eyes of the narcissist. They are very hypocritical.
My ex acted with impeccable manners, kindness and empathy when in public. But, at home, he treated us like dirt.
Entitlement is such a a huge part of the narrciscistic personality type. Yes, I have been called a Narcissist and up until now I felt almost ashamed to say it here. Deep to my core dr Ramini, I know I am not & never was. I am an Empath all my life. Sure I get the being a Mom when my babies were ill & those feeling's you spoke about, realising on reflection mine were no different to others waiting. When alone & waiting, I turned it around & took time to read a magazine. When I was called that name, I felt so alone and almost ashamed. I have been listening to your wonderful knowledge and wisdom for quite a while to confirm & assure myself I am not. I barely know how to breathe properly, It has been brought to my attention recently that I hold my breath (unconsciously). I attempted to make my relationship with ex work that it has severely impacted my health. I get stressed so easily. I find it a joy to just converse with my grandchildren,so lovely. Forever Grateful to you & thank you for your brilliant work & sharing. Apologies for long rant.
"Their wonderfulness", 🏆awesome...🙂 it's almost as if they're petting us with their right hand while stabbing us in the back with their left (her cat 🐱 split knowing it's future there)...
@God IS Love yes! I am very triggered by the comments in the videos of many people who defend her boyfriend. These people say: Gabby looks like the abusive one! What the heck?!? He’s the one who came home ALIVE!!! He controlled her.
Oh my goodness! 😢😢
So true. The entitled person in my life will BRAG to me about how humble he is, how he doesn’t care what people think of think 😳🤯🤯🤯. Really??? DENIAL
@God IS Love Awesome screen name! 1 John 4:8 is one of my top favorite Bible verses! Also Rom. 8:28, Acts 10:38. I love telling atheists that if they believe in either love or good, then they believe in the *same* God I do, just that I believe the Bible and that God has a body!
Taking a long walk along the river listening to the sound of nature . I'm burned out on people and all of the ways we hurt each other.healing for me is getting out of the rat race and being quiet and calming my mind by listening to mother earth...
Me, too. I'm very weary of this world, and go for walks in the woods. It's sad how detached people are from what is really important. Most people can't take their hands off their phones, let alone turn them off. Technology will be our downfall. I'm over it. :(
yeah I did that yesterday morning and am going to make time for it again this afternoon. Didn't realize how much I missed it. Enjoy your walks; keep it up.
I love your comment so! I sought peace and quiet of an island community, filled with birds and nearby parks. Unfortunately, I met up with someone who exhibited those red flags Dr. is warning us about. I didn’t know it! I waisted a lot of time and got hurt by this Narc, very hurt. Thank you for your comment. I’ll try to remember my peace and quiet goal.
The trails will all be filled to the brim if this keeps up, LOL, we will all be out taking a walk again and again..... I bless my kids and my dogs for their being here for me every day.. They are Adults and are finding the world a very broken place out there.
@@Feribrat99 Living in a highly populated area this already takes place here. specially during the covid restrictions masses of people flocked to the few small natureparcs around here, trampling everything, leaving tonnes of garbage, going into closed off area's destroying what little of nature is left here, letting their dogs kill the wildlife, playing loud music getting drunk, fighting with each other or the forest keepers even.. whole area's had to be closed off by the police..but they couldn't handle the crowds..
So, I thought i'll go to the river to find some peaceful solitude there, and as I'm standing on the shore looking out to the dusk setting in, there's a group of divers surfacing right in front of me, and as i'm thinking there's really no escape they made a complaint like comment when they see me that "there's people everywhere"!! 🤣🤣
Nick Straker Band - A walk in the park
ua-cam.com/video/VF6fmUVpf10/v-deo.html
Cheers 😉
Moral posturing is something that I have found almost always coincides with entitlement. They believe that their way is righteous or indignantly correct. Should you disagree with them, they will act as if you are challenging God (my mum behaves as if she is God incarnated as human) or that which is undeniably right. They rarely "meet in the middle" or find some form of compromise. It is almost always all or nothing or a your wrong and I am right scenario. There is rarely any kind of acceptance of your independence, individuality, and your point view. What you think and feel is almost always invalidated and tossed aside as an nonsensical. Thank you doctor.
Wow you described my sister's constant casual annihilation of me lol
Imagine being so insecure, that you choose not to be humble. It's actually quite pathetic. They are very black and white. No grey area.
They think their crap doesn't stink but mouthwash can only do so much!
@@harmonyexists2834 pathetic describes them well! So we're on board, or were, with them because they're pathetic, right you are!
Especially if you have no money because they stole it. Then they get on their high horse as if you should beg them for your money, saying things like “oh well, sorry for your luck” etc. They’ll act like they have your money because they’re so special, they “put in the time”, or they have virtues you don’t have. The feeling of control and superiority they get from money is almost scary, if it’s not so pathetic.
Dr. Ramani is so passionate about giving us this information to NOT pet the cat as it walks over her lap 😺 Dr. Ramani is a pro!
😹
I’d love to know more about the cat too! So pretty!
That cat has no manners haaaaaA
Cats are entitled, so it was kind of perfect!!!!
Soulshine 808, yes “PURRfect”.
Whenever I hear about entitlement in narcissists, it always brings me back to an episode early on in my previous relationship. We were at a large outdoor flea market, and my ex had bought a bunch of things and left them piled up near someone's table. Then he got in the car and proceeded to drive out into the sales area, passing a very obvious barrier, and ignoring two people who shouted at him that he couldn't drive there. He just said "I have to get my stuff", like he was the only person there who had to "get his stuff". He then found some poor victim to help him carry his purchases to the car, and spent the whole time whining about having to follow the rules that no one else had any problem with. For the next couple of days, I was kind of depressed, wondering if I was making a big mistake being with someone so immature. If only I had known!
Wow! That was humorous to read but I'm sure mortifying to experience. "Read the room Darren", I would say!
They're entitled to not suffer any inconveniences while do nothing but inflict some onto us!
On u know Mr Scott too! So embarrassing
I have seen others do that as well, you are not alone.
@mountain blue “I felt he just handled it badly” he handled it badly because of his entitlement. He thought he could drive into an area that was closed off for cars, continued his behaviour even after people informed him of the rules, then complained about said rules even though they applied to everyone, and made random people help him out in a (by the sounds of it) not so nice or grateful way. Seems like lots of entitlement right there.
If it was a situation that only happened once and someone felt sheepish and sorry if their partner brought it up to them afterwards because they genuinely hadn’t realized they were acting pretty rude to the people around them, maybe it could’ve been a situation that was just handled badly. But this was someone OP has been in a relationship with, on a video about narcissism, and they said “if only I had known”. I think it’s safe to assume this was simply one early red flag of a full-blown personality pattern.
I’m not sure if your comment was serious, but saying things like “you could have just...” when someone is talking about someone else’s bad behaviour is rarely a great thing to do. It’s no one else’s responsibility how other people behave, and almost everyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissistic person has tried countless times to act in a certain way or say the right thing to try to make the narcissist be less entitled and consider people around them. But if someone doesn’t want to be respectful and care about others, it doesn’t work. And that’s 100% on them.
Narcissists cannot live without entitlement, praise and applauses since they have nothing inside. That's why they like adultory people too much. Thank you so much Dr.Ramani, for your precious efforts🙏❤
Entitlement - as basic to a Narc as breathing air or drinking water
True dat! No wonder one must climb mountains for them when a simple hill climb or walk to the mail
box is bound to please others!
Let me share something I gleaned from Lundy Bancroft's 'Why Does He Do That?': Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement and the branches are control; the soil is disrespect and the garden is resentment.
The author is referring to abusive partner relationships. I still feel we use the term Narcissist to avoid a more emotive one: abuser.
Entitlement is like saying "I'm special" in the worst possible way.
Yes they’re all entitled but the narcissist will tell you it’s not and have some type of crappy rationalization as to why they should get special treatment. Thank you Doctor Ramani ❤️
Yes! They're always prepped with excuses. And excuses for the excuses, even! Or they'll throw the ol' "I was doing this to help you out, you should be grateful". 🤢
They should be entitled to their own company
and that for eternity, no kitties allowed either!
@@corninyourpoop yes a little gas on the fire 🔥!
@@joseenoel8093 gas on the fire lol! I'm laughing, but it's true! Just had to deal with it an hour ago lol. I'm at the point of just laughing in private, at how ridiculous narcs are. It must be miserable to be miserable all the time.
@@corninyourpoop EEEEEXACTLY 💯
I thought the most dangerous type of narcissist was one that had been to therapy? They learned techniques of control from the therapist with a more surgical way to manipulate and attack. It’s so scary
Those are isually the more malignant ones.
@@victorialadybug1 or sociopathic.
My father was a social worker, trained in the basics of transactional analysis therapy........ Fun fun fun 😖☣️☢️
@@msPranksterPixie I am so sorry you had to endure that!
Touché! One sister was in therapy a lot & learned to be more manipulative; it eventually failed miserably. The other sister thought she had her M.S.W. because her daughter had it! I know WHY her daughter went for it & am positive she’s a better parent as I’ve seen her nurturing her own children.
I know how you feel when I met my wife she was in therapy it wasn't until two and a half nearest afterwards all hell broke loose she changed drastically she started verbally abusing me and my daughter and that did it right there I was not putting up with that crap so she left and that's the best thing she could have done and so now we are divorcing it will probably be a long while before I think about someone else again they can be very hard to spot some time so I wish you well
We must all manage the narcissists in our life the way Dr Ramani manages her disruptive cats: do not defend, do not engage, do not explain, do not personalise. They have no choice but to walk away...🐈
Truth! You nailed it! 😂
1. Don't confuse being special with getting special treatment
2. Learn to be mindful and regulate
3. Dig into your core belief
4. Try and watch the situation from the outside
5. Create interpersonal space (listen to people)
6. Be on time
You’re right Dr. Ramani; entitlement issues are a major problem in our society now. It’s pervasive and destructive. Luna😻, thank you for making a guest appearance.
This 💯💯💯! This is the biggest issue for me with narcs.. the entitlement is what let’s them think lying to me is ok. Also the entitlement let’s them think it’s ok to break rules and commit crimes.. all while nonstop complaining about others who are doing the same crimes.
Absolutly the truth 👍
since you collect narcissism stories- you're gonna love this - I had a friend who worked as a secretary in a hospital who, just hours after undergoing major surgery (i think it was when she had to have a hysterectomy), woke up to find some of the people in her office standing at her bedside asking her to help them with some paper work that they were trying to get done... unfreakingbelievable
Sheesh! She must of thought she was in a Twighlight Zone episode. 😆 Freakin awful.
Sheesh !
A friend of mine almost died and her ex brought bills to the hospital for her to pay on his first visit.
Oh that is unfreeakingbelieveable, just ... oh no!
That's shocking. How awful.
Also continuing with their behaviour that’s hurting you and you’ve mentioned it to them.
They like to hurt people. It's pretty twisted.
@@LSMH528Hz well done for going no contact!
Exactly, I once said to my ex that he should please stop doing something and he said: „you have said this already 64 times, you should know already I will not do this‘
@@TMaria-vm2or I’m so sorry you experienced that, my story is similar. What’s important is that they’re our exes now! Take care of yourself x
Omgoodness, the cat!
Love the cat! ❤
entitled lap-walker lol. I loved one of the other videos in which all you saw was her tail . Sooo cute.
@@dianevanderlinden3480
Lol
🐈😻🐈⬛😺🐱😸
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I wish this world enough courage to start pushing back to stop what seems to be quickly engulfing this world we live in. Thank you Dr. Ramani once again for opening our eyes 🌹
Sadly, just went through an “entitled” situation last night with no concern for our family or others. It is heartbreaking, but I am getting stronger and learning how to deal with these situations better. Thank you so much for your videos. Thank you! It certainly hurts others, but to be able to handle the situation and being able to know it isn’t my fault, is amazing. When others show their “entitlement”, we don’t have to blame ourselves for their choices.
I am going to write the following sentence down for future reference: "We don't have to blame ourselves for their choices." -Regardless of how many more people in other types of communal narcissism too may be out there trying to pin us down in blame for what some perpetrator of crime choices that were being made at the time. Blame for any crime should always be resting squarely only on the shoulders of the criminals who were responsible for doing the crimes against humanity instead of becoming thanks to people with a like minded mob mentality then getting evenly distributed across other people who had next to nothing to do with how it happened.
They have a "drama" every week since 1961- we are all WORE OUT! i believe you!!!!!!
Forgot to mention that you are probably or already had these stalkers contact you acting like moral people. They are sick, degenerates that are obsessed with me for over 2 decades, and connect with everyone that I do. I cannot even get an apartment because they defame me. I cannot stay here where I am currently living because I cannot afford the rent ever since my mom was forced to go to an assisted living facility. It's a long story, but it has to do with stealth technology and manipulations.
@@selfesteem3447 your comment really is no help to so many people. For many people going no contact is just not AN option. And for people to so nonchalantly just say “just gonna contact” like it is choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream
Is really condescending. For many women they may be stuck in contact with them foe children or finances. Many women stayed at home with their children and lost their place in the working world. If you have small children, daycare costs much more than any average job they can get with little
Experience these days.
You say they can get child support, oh yeah sure. So you know how many very successful people do not pay their child support? Do you know how long it takes to get a divorce? Over a year and that is the short version which people with children will not get. Who will pay for their living expenses during that time while the Narc punishes them in hopes of making them come back?
If the adult in the situation can not handle the Narc very well on their own. How the heck do you think those mi or children will handle them on the visitation days all alone with no adult to help out?
I am really sick of people commenting to just go no contact. Life is not that dang easy. If it was easy for you to go no contact. Great. Congratulations. That is wonderful for you. I wish you much more success. But for those who may be stuck in a situation that took them years to finally understand what was going on, many can not just go no contact even though they may wish to. I think everyone watching these videos is struggling. When they read the comments. They want helpful advice on how to keep going when they can not just go no contact. If you can not give them some ways to cope better than just “go no contact” maybe you could refrain from commenting. Cause when someone is down, they need some help and ideas on how to get back up. Not someone who kicks them while they are down and says why did you allow yourself to fall down?
One of the reasons I think so many respect Dr. Ramani so much is she understands that some people are stuck in a situation that is not good or sometimes really bad and they are not able to get out right now. Her help to understand and try to give you coping skills is what makes her stand out as a true leader and healer.
Narks are mere master insectual mimics of what separates man from animal..stay if you feel you must..but know in time you will be faced with a ruined life.
Awww, I love when your cat joins the video! 🐈❤️😊
Entitlement is my mother calling my wife (then gf) trash, not taking accountability or apologizing, and then getting mad that she wasn’t more involved in the wedding planning.
yesssssss
Sounds very familiar..
Watch out when the babies come. That's when mama's entitlement will go into overdrive!
Whew
@@annasluka6708 Exactly!… “They are “MY”grandchildren!.. So therefore, “I” as their grandmother is entitled to them!”
Narc Translation: They are “MY” property!.. and “MY” blood!.. My this, and my that, and…
Thank you. " Entitlement = Lack of Empathy" Huge narcissistic red flags. Grateful for this acknowledgment as it was so very normalized in my immediate family. It's a nasty trait and I do my best to stop it when it comes up. Thanks again Dr.Ramani for this important video !!!💜
I've met many, many people who acts super entitled. I guess
that would imply that narcs are all around us, even if
not everyone is a narc.
I’ve also seen family members who have entitlement narcissistic behaviors. From over talking and interrupting a person talking when it have nothing to do with them. I’ve learned not to engage with narcissist because it’s a total waste of time.
How to deal with them it's so difficult they never tell us important information nd never go along untill we give them entitlement of our hardwork it's majjjor problem m facing idk what to do
It has educated me so much in 48 hours saw it all, set a boundary and it was over. He already had a new source of supply and let me know. When I broke it off he apologized ( fake) he wanted me to break it off after the dump. Imagine him apologizing and listing ALL he did for me? How arrogant! He was giving me 2 hrs of his time once a wk AND living with someone who he said he told me about but waited months into the relationship. It’s constant drama. I was exhausted despite crumbs. Thank you I am not a martyr.
That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and the girlfriend who's not realy his girlfriend break up over the course of like eight hours or some shit. He's completely exhausted by the end of it. Made a great episode, but in real life? Hell no!
Thank you Dr. Ramani for all you do. You're saving lives. 💙❤
Thank you in addressing the stereotype that the Narc does not want to change. Yes, some are not self-reflective, and in the same light, some are. Giving tools for people who want to overcome their negative tendencies is a great way to reduce the damage done by Narcissism. Thank you Doctor Ramani.
This video needs to be a mandatory watch in public schools around the world.
Narcissism = selfishness to a degree that causes recurring harm to others. My summary definition.
Thank you Dr. Ramani, this community you’ve created always seems to “get it.”
It’s nice to be understood.
Your Kitty always makes me smile when it makes an entrance too.😸
True Suzy...if it wasn't for Dr Ramini and this awesome community... I feel I would have disappeared by now! ✌️🌈🌻
Dr. Ramani's cat looks like my cat Aurora. Hahaha
Your videos give me hope. I self gaslight a lot. I'm a survivor and I feel I have some narc traits - like feeling unsafe and invalidating others while I'm in survival mode. Working on myself and staying away from the kind people I've hurt. This week's homework was to be mindful and self-regulate, be in the present and go against my natural instict when I feel under threat. I did it today. Thank you for bringing so much clarity to my world and showing me that I can heal and change if I choose to 💜💜 what confuses me most is that I'm usually very empathic and people are drawn to me for that - there was a self-betrayal mode to that sometimes...
We were at a church buffet. The lines were long and my husband and I were near the back of the line. He took my hand and managed to get very near the front of the line. I was a very timid person back then so I didn't feel empowered to say anything to him.
If we were caught in traffic, he would ride the shoulder of the road to get in front of all the other cars.
Thanks to your teaching, Dr. Ramini, I'm no longer voiceless. He treats me with obvious hatred now, because I address his wrong behavior.
Ouch, that is grandiose. So sorry.
My N person would rather be the hero who goes last in the church buffet line, even if he barked at his family on the drive to the event. Hmmm… 😂😂 the dissonance is real.
I have seen a lot of that on the roads in my lifetime, it is always just so ballsy of people but they almost always get away with it too. I have blessed a few cops who actually saw it and pulled them over to ticket them. Those moments are rare though.
Similar thing happened to me and my ex-boyfriend at water world. long lines and there was a lot of confusion of what line is for what kind of tickets.. but when we found the line we were supposed to be in it was very long. and he tried to pull me up in front of other people. And I was so totally horrified and embarrassed. And I can't remember what I said or did. But I must have made it really obvious because we moved to the back of the line. And he was bitching all the time. I guess I was horrified because I've never been with anybody who tried to do that except in elementary school.
I’m an Aussie so we’re partial to a bit of casual road raging lol. I get the shits with traffic and parking spots as much as the next person but my narc husband flat out refuses to get a driver’s license to help me out so some of my annoyance comes from driving him around listening to him whinging about everything for kilometres at a time. 🙄🙄
Sadly, running the breakdown lane is so common around Eastern Massachusetts that, at one point there were signs on certain highways describing when this was, and was not permissible. My husband is quite willing to wait his turn to merge, he gets mad when people don’t take turns. LOL!
I'm glad you mention your little mistakes because we feel better about making our own. It reminds us that we are all human and all make such mistakes. We are all still learning! It's OK to be human! Thank you for all your work.
I recall telling one entitled jerk off in a line years ago. It was just for ice cream, but I didn't care. The jerk had to wait in line like everyone else. The following morning, a radio talk show host announced that another host on a competitor's radio channel was upset about being told to wait in line. You can imagine how I giggled when I realized it must have been the jerk I had told off the previous day! This was years ago, long before I knew anything about narcissism. I just thought I had an attitude, but no, my narc radar was already working back then!
I used to go to a grocery in Brentwood. The entitled behavior of the customers was so frequent and extreme that I just stopped going altogether.
As an empath, I can't count how many times I've worried if I've hurt other people without meaning to and usually the little situations I worry about are nowhere near the amount of hurt that narcissistic people cause others. It's good to know that a lot of empaths worry about that, though.
That cat looked so entitled. I love cats. I don't love that my mother behaves like a cat.
Cats are cute when they do it, people not so much.
I grow up with a narcissist father and all my life I thought that I was guilty for react against his entitlement, you make me cry this time dr. Ramani, but with a good cause I’m out of that hell inside my memories, thank you
Around here waiting in line is kind of fun, people like to talk with each other and just enjoy while they’re waiting. Seems narcissistic personalities might be kind of missing out on one of the pleasures of life.
Not paying me my share of an inheritance house? Yep that entitlement. Thank you I haven't needed to watch these videos lately. Healed with knowledge.
Yes, you are spot in with entitled people feeling they don't need to consider other people's feelings and then get angry when called out on it. I am dealing with that on an almost daily basis, and it's so frustrating. Entitled people also never apologize, they never take a step back when called out on bad behavior. We can all act mean and unbecoming sometimes, but most of us don't feel entitled to hurt others, and will take a step back when we do and reflect.
I’m in a workplace where the head of HR is a hardcore narcissist. They abuse and bully and belittle others. They straight up claim that they’re entitled to do so because they’re the smartest and most competent person in the organisation, have exactingly high standards, and know what’s best for others.
Yes, I’m actively looking for other work, though it’s taking far longer than I’d hoped.
Years ago my narc mother was blowing up my phone as usual but one night while watching a movie, I didn't answer her call. Within 30 mins the local sherriffs were at my house doing a " wellness check." She used law enforcement to get me to call her back. She could not wait 2 hrs for my movie to end, that she knew I was watching. I'm so glad she passed away. Thank you Dr. Raining for another spot on, truth telling video.
The 'baby people' have imperative thinking. Their arrested development has them functioning often at the age of a toddler. They 'grew up' with insecure attachment to 'adults' who were also disconnected. So, they are seldom able to 'see' other individuals outside of themselves unless the individual is supplying/complying with a need. Their approach to life is very simplistic and fear-based. In my growth journey, I choose to stop sleep walking and open my eyes to our humanity. Growth spurts hurt, though.
Children have to be learned to share and not just take the toy their sibling was playing with by force. Unfortunately most children are raised by adult children.
The part about saying what they want and do what they want without considering others 100% describes the narcissist that abused me. He can wait in line. He is excellent at appearing humble publicly. But he does interrupt people and talk over people. He runs over people with words and feels entitled to do so when he thinks he is right (and he always thinks he is right).
I used to be late because I was dysregulated not because I felt entitled. I used to overwork, over plan, feel too tired but still feeling compelled to do it. Only enough rest and dealing with the deregulation helped.
Same! But I always slide in the back row and figure out what is going on without inconveniencing anyone. I get really annoyed when people roll in late and expect the full treatment, the meeting has to stop and we all have to catch them up! I don’t want to slow this down or repeat the boring stuff I’ve already sat through. If you wanted that you should have come on time lol just slide in the back and piece it together quietly so we can all go home on time! Lol! If you’re going to be late, you better know how to be late. I try not to inconvenience anyone. It’s a me issue, and I try to keep it that way! It’s not the coming late so much as the expecting to have their hand held through what they missed.
I also get annoyed when people treat punctuality as if it were the main virtue that gets you into heaven. Some of us just aren’t punctual. But it’s possible to be a little messier with time and still be an extremely considerate person.
Dr. Ramani you are literally changing my life for the better. I love you and your videos to us!!!Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!! Gracias
Narcissists hate boundaries; boundaries are rules you create for yourself.
They don’t think you should be allowed to have those rules.
My sister labels me entitled after she provokes negative reactions out of me - because of this I am also selfish and unable to take responsibility.
Oh how they love to see us squirm.
My sister has always been like that. The best thing I ever did was to act aloof and even amused when she started insulting the hell out of me for no reason. I just smiled and kept doing what I was doing. It was so good! After that, she didn’t have any power over me. Luckily, we finally agreed that we don’t like each other & we don’t communicate or interact anymore. She still acts stupid if I see her (which is rarely, thank goodness!) but I still ignore it.
She’s likely projecting, with narcissistic personalities it’s as automatic an ego defense as some other kinds of projectile activity that might be in defense of your stomach.
I had never experienced entitlement at a mind blowing level until I was married to narcissist. The rules were always different for him and the expectations for me were often out of reach. Being late is something I am working on, my issue is that I think I can fit more in a certain time line than I really can. But I am always super embarrassed and just keep quiet. I am learning to give myself much more time than I think I need to avoid this as well as other things so that I can be early instead of late to things. I also take steps to let someone know if I do in fact end up running late BEFORE I am due to be someplace. I come from a long line of what my grandfather called dinking around that made my grandmother late to everything. Looking back, I have to wonder if it was something she did to have just a little bit of control over my very bullish narc grandfather, food for thought....
I'm also not great at being on time... I think, however, it is because I have time blindness. I can be slow, have trouble making decisions about what to wear and bring, do not always realize how much time something is going to take me, and think of last minute things I need to take care of before departing.
I also am horrible with time. I try, I really do, but I just always seem to believe I have a lot more of it to get things done than I do. I try not to disrupt things, however, when I arrive. I'd rather blend in than draw attention to myself. I was always running a little behind to begin with, though generally not too late, but now I have some pretty significant health problems that slow me down further. Problem is, despite years of dealing with them, I still seem to think that I can do things in the time I could before (which, remember, was already a bit behind!), so I am even slower. I even try to start earlier, but I just don't seem to have a clue how much earlier I need to begin getting ready. I don't think I"m a narc, however. I have good intentions, and I treat others with kindness and am a patient person, I just am not an on-time person.
I have to say, though, I'd give anything if the narcs I am surrounded with just had the problem of running a little late and not being so entitled in the way that they demand special treatment and don't have a problem taking mean jabs at people or demanding control of their lives. I'll take a person running late any day over one of those monsters!
Me too.. always late, it seems. I think it stems from feeling controlled by my narc parent.. always rushing me to suit her agenda, her schedule, her priorities.
I work in a field where I see one client per hour. I stay on time all day, usually not a problem. What’s a problem is GETTING there on time. I try, to the point of anxiety at times. Then I feel AWFUL when I arrive late. And I like to blend in the back of events . I do not expect anyone to wait for me.
However, I , too have had a hand injury, which slows me WAAAY down in the morning. My subconscious reverts to its old schedule in the morning , and since the injury, and now the chronic pain, I move slower than I think.
My wife has ADD. Time issues is part of that, especially without medication. Someone who doesn't know her could take it as entitlement, but when you have limited ability to prioritize (so you try to do everything) or to think in a temporally linear manner, that's not entitlement. It can lead to entitlement if someone has an attitude that they can't help it so everyone else has to accommodate. Sounds like you make a real effort to be better.
Entitlement means behaving without expectations of accountability.
That's a very educational and clarifying video! Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your continued outstanding work and kind support in helping people from around the world to become aware of narcissism and ultimately live better, healthier lives and make better, healthier choices. Wishing you much health and sucess! Kindest regards from São Paulo, Brazil. 🇧🇷
I am employed at an academic institution. The overall culture supports it's employees continuting bachelor's, masters, and even Ph.D degrees. I had 5 years of study in, and was a Junior undergrad. It was fairly systematic with my managers and their bosses approving my schedule. I would post it to my public calendar, and send digital and print copies to everyone it would concern, just to keep people informed. When my current manager came in, I followed the same process and he called me during the first week of classes demanding to know where I was. I cleared it up after I returned to the office, and he did it again the very next day. I dropped out from stress, thinking he would clean-up his act after some time under his belt. Years later, I mentioned returning to finish my degree, and without missing a beat he said "You Don't Need A Degree!"
That was when the narcissistic entitlement really became obvious.
Get that degree. You should have a graduate degree and a license by now and then you can leave if you want. Keep it a secret too. We know now to never reveal grand plans to a narc because they will smash them.
I can't be the only cat lover out there who was tickled by the fact that the adorable feline sauntered right across the screen during Dr. Ramani's talk about entitlement. Does anyone need a visual aid?
I love it when her kitty makes an appearance!
@@anaphylaxis2548 me, too! :-)
Again DR.RAMANI I'm still an infant who is jus learning tha language & yes in tha need of milk,w/no teeth & not able to speak & not have a palate of words,understanding its like my brain & body had a lot of readjustment & yet thru all Ur videos I'm being taken into a new spiritual realm it like I'm being brought into so many thangs ,Wow I say again Wowwowwow, & I thought I knew jus who I was w/me,myself,& I whew !! I'm not heartless ,I to is in a narcissistic relationship,& yet peoples tell me I'm too laid-back,I don't speak up,I take alot off of peoples,I cried & cry to seeing DR.RAMANI hidden hurt, not knowing it's a job to deal w/Amerikkka @ tha past,present & future's tense,U have opened my minds,given me a new walk,I have to keep coming back cause I jus can't get enuff,& yes I close my eyes & laying on my leftside its absorbs more,Well Lady hope Ur Twins,Ur Dynamics.....?
What I love about this Dr.Is although she is “entitled “ to so much her kind ,compassionate manner shines in her videos.If I could only learn to give people advise in the way she does I guess I would be more humble and less entitled about my accomplishments .My hat goes off to you Dr .I learn something new everyday by listening to you .Thankyou for teaching me to teach myself how to live in this world the opposite way than what I watched and heard around me as a child .I am all grown up now and I can make my own kind ,loving choices.Also I can talk to my inner child and tell her she is loved and safe now.That the world isn’t out to get me(like my family was).Love is possible to give and receive.
Thanks Dr Ramani. I’ll make sure to be aware of my actions moving forward.
I know I spent too much time growing up in a narcissistic family to not have it rub off on me. This subject keeps me on my toes. You are the most wonderful thing on UA-cam Dr. Ramani ! You never fail to put a smile on my face! Hope your workshop yesterday was a smash hit. Thank you for this subject today! You’re the best !!!
I loved this epsiode, Dr. R. I liked the detailing , the sequence of whats and whys of entitlement and most importantly, how to unlearn and regulate this trait. I also found to be a very pivotal topic for raising kids in a healthier manner. Thank you🌸💞
Love that you are doing a series talking directly to the narcissists. I will be forwarding these to my husband. The last few major meltdowns that he's had, it has helped immensely to be able to send him one of your videos that explains what he's doing and why.
He received it and reflected on it okay?
Interesting. Most actual Narc’s will not take sending them a video to explain what they are doing well at all! They do not take responsibility for their actions. They play the victim always.
He isn't. He's PRETENDING so he doesn't lose his supply.
Thank you so much for this.
Thank you doctor Ramani. Your words are eloquent and make so much sense. :)
I'm so sorry Doctor Ramani.....
Hello kitty!!!!!!!!!! Prrrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxxx 😻😻💙💙
When your cat photobombs your important video, and steals the show.... But finally, after going through your prior years of videos, we meet you cat. 💙💙💙
This makes me really happy today.
Animals are a wonderful comfort to just even see on UA-cam.
Thank you for the heart Doctor Ramani. I don't know if you've checked emails today, but this really means a lot. Thank you.
I don't want us to invade your privacy, nor distract from your central purpose.... but it would be wonderful to have a video one day seeing your art collection? Of course, absolutely do not want to invade.
And a cat cameo would be most welcome too!
Thank you again for the heart. One of those days life slapped someone I love and need to be strong for now.
Doctor, does your cat have a "no closed doors!" thing.... If you lock them out whilst filming, or in the bathroom, etc, they will yowl and almost break the door down?
I had a hilarious image of your team sneaking around the camera trying to tempt the cat away with some fresh chicken. 😂
Frequently and consistently reminding yourself that you're no more entitled to anything than anyone else is really helpful with keeping your emotions and thoughts regulated and helps with managing stress. I appreciate you sharing the honest moment you had years ago at the doctor appointment when you needed to work that day with all the stress it put you under and how you caught it and put it into perspective to ground yourself. You reminded yourself that the other people in the waiting room didn't cause the situation you were in and everyone needs to wait their turn, and that's been something I've been doing to help me be much more patient with others in times of stress : simply tell myself, "they didn't do this to me. They didn't cause this, and I still have to wait my turn with everyone else." Thanks again for all of your helpful videos on this subject!
So true 💯! Preach Dr. Ramani! 🙌 So many people are entitled and think they are special these days sadly. My mother is so entitled! If she calls she expects you to jump and answer or her wrath of anger and rage comes out immensely.
Questions at the start:
1: Context-dependent, but strong weight on 'yes'
2: Context-dependent, but moderate weight on 'yes'
3: Yes. Just yes.
4: Also yes.
I suspect all my qualifiers and attempts at understanding make me more vulnerable to these behavior patterns, though.
Unfortunately, the narcissists I know would either not think this applies to them or in the more sociopathic individuals it will serve as instructions of how to act in public while still being unbelievably entitled in private.
Thank you very much for this information ! This reminds me of my first job when I moved to CA, on the management team was a person with an MFT. It was my first exposure to this style of leadership. I was super impressed with their boundaries and consistant delivery of sound information as well as active corrections of peripheral BS in person and behind closed doors! A big departure from my primary environment where there continues to be meandering spontaneous facts, alignments, and moods! Unfortunately even this persons amazing leadership was not enough to keep the agency on track! After 2-3 years everyone left except of course for the individual who made it up as they went, and pretended not to know what was happening!
Princess mentality. They think the world owes them something and they deserve something special; but have no pity for others, but will expect special treatment if they want to play victim.
Entitlement is a word I don't quite understand since I'm not yet there with learning English.
If I translate it to German, it means "berechtigt" and this means something like "I'm not entitled to drive through this road since there's a sign prohibitting it."
Thank you for all the great videos. I am not in a relationship with a pathological narcissist but as an empath I attract them as harassers. My previous activism against tyranny and globalism has also put me on the radar spiritually so every demonic minded narcissist I encounter harasses me and your vids have helped me a lot dealing with them! I also think you are quite beautiful! 🌹
Wow great video. Perfect examples. Yes core issue is entitlement with Narcissistic people.Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us .It really is empowering to survivors.To clarify various examples further enlightening us. Sending much love and hugs 🤗💓💓💓
0:44, I like how Dr.Ramani can smile while saying narssissism.😄 I think it shows strength.
Thanks for this video. I always "self check", since I have been aware of my tendencies to be entitled over the years.
Love how your cat needs to be seen. My cats do the same thing
Love how you address this
I work customer service on the phone and deal with "entitled " people daily
Thank you Dr Ramani
For any of us transitioning from past harming patterns, as in addiction, we carry a large amount of guilt and remorse for having put others through our struggles. Please take steps to forgive yourself for what you view as unfair actions towards others, while struggling with addiction. As always Dr. Ramani, thank you for you care.
The examples you gave Dr.Ramani at the beginning - late to a meeting, not being a good listener atleast these 2, can be behaviors of people with ADHD and they need not be narcissistic do you agree? There are many adults that have ADD(attention deficit) and may just lack executive functioning skills that result in them being late for events, or not being good listeners. While taken on its own some of these events may make them look entitled, they would not exhibit any of the other narcissistic traits like grandiosity or lack of empathy for others.
If they can talk about themselves for a number of hours then it's not adhd.
Ransomed Heart nails it. ADHD may cause chronic lateness, it may cause someone to talk over other people. However, what they are saying when they do it tells the tale. Is it an idea or solution they have to communicate right now or they’ll loose it? How do they react if they’re shut down? If they’re embarrassed and fold into a shell you have ADHD. If they get mad?? Also I’m willing to bet they can co exist in the same person…
Dr. Ramani’s cat’s star appearance made my day and enhanced another great video ❤️
Yes, to all of the above. Also very inconsiderate. Hence the lack of caring about others.
The best book on the entitled abusive male partner is Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?”
AWESOME 👏 BOOK
Wonderful, Wonderful. As an elementary/middle school para, I see so many young people without these skill who would be genuinely happier with them! Exhausting work, but so worth it at any level.
I'm chronically late. My concept of time is extremely poor and I'm highly distractable. I look at the clock "OK 20 minutes to go. Excellent. " And as I get ready I'm thinking "20 min 20 min 20 min. Probably 15 min now"... Then I check the clock and "I should have left 10 min ago?! Oh no!!" Hustle hustle out the door.
Notes, alarms, other reminding triggers I've tried them all.
A very early appearance of Dr Phil on Oprah a lady stood up and asked for help about lateness and he outright called her entitled and to stop being selfish and that will solve it. "You made it here on time didnt you?" No consideration she might have come with friends who extra pushed her *because Oprah!* And she looked humiliated and sat down. I've never forgiven him for this.
I went through severe depression late 90s and was always unkempt. I mostly always am but back then I barely showered. I went to the VA to get cognition testing (which was a joke of puzzles and word memory games which is what my mind is geared toward so I aced it) and they made a note that I was well groomed. Well that was because you always brush your teeth before the dentist type of auto pilot. Going to the doctor isn't daily life and this is a place innocent people might have to touch you so "at least shower for THEIR sake". The student clinician didn't even fill out her/my form all the way. I added more "if this is inoortant?" info at the end (left handed and childhood hedwetter) and she was "Oh that's on the form" and filled it in like it was nothing.
I didn't get the help I needed once again.
I never stop for coffee!! I not perfectly coiffed with an hour of make up anf clothing perfection. I'm a bedraggled mess. 😟
I just talked with a friend who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. It went undiagnosed for a long time as she is nearly 40. She said women arent often diagnosed until they are 50. I hope you get answers soon!
@@Jess-kn8vl Thanks! I know now that I do have ADD (not the more publicized hyperactive type) and a LD from CPTSD. This sht is hard and people on the surface see a smart person* who "doesn't care, such potential what is wrong with her? not motivated, such a pity". I know it because occasionally people with other disorders outright ask me (a friends Asperger's with PhD boyfriend asked me once flat out what is holding me back. "I'm confused. You're smart so why are you not accomplishing more?" I forgive his bluntness because he's not neurotypical);
* When I got tested finally at my school's disability center, I was diagnosed with LD but with a high IQ which is a TERRIBLE combination if you're a child counting on adults to help you. Smart with high distraction to them (back then) was lazy, doesn't care, obstinate, etc. No one thinks "This girl needs help."
@@C.Church I can relate I also have CPTSD and its a bundle of comorbidities that people outside of living with me dont understand. Which only continues the cycle of isolating at times due to feeling out of place but looking "normal".
@@Jess-kn8vl Oh man. I'm really sorry about that because... yeah, we feel each other. It's a tough spot. They don't see the obstacles you have. It's like the old days people who had pains and inability to physically engage in life were diagnosed with "woman's imaginary problem" and given aspirin and patted on the head and told to buy herself something pretty. NOW we know about fibromyalgia etc. If a girl experiences it, it's imaginary. Ugh.
I took an EMT class last year. The prof said men are actually MORE likely to seek medical help and women less likely. He said it was women are more likely to say "I'm ok. I'll deal with it..." I know it's probably because we just feel like no one will listen anyway. And men are used to saying "Problem here" and people examine the problem. When women say "Problem here" people examine her credibility instead.
@@C.Church Yes its unfortunate theres a stigma. In the 70s my mom was diagnosed with "housewife syndrome" when she got a second opinion she was extremely hyperthyroid. She said she remembers her leg shaking on the gas peddle driving to these appointments. I feel like there is too much covert abuse and female misogyny! Like this latest story about poor Gabby Petito, that body cam footage was obvious to me she was being emotionally abused it just breaks my heart!
Entitlement is one of the first red flags of Narcisistic tendencies we can notice either in ourselves or others. Thank you for sharing your wisdom dr Ramani.
"Why did you lie to me?" "Because I knew if I told you the truth you would get upset. Would you really want to be upset right now? I don't want to see you upset. What good would that do? Why would you want stir things up? Then we would both be upset. I mean, who the h-ll wants that? Can't we just have some peace around here when I get home?" Then you hear "God" in a huffy, exasperated state as they walk out of the room. The End
i have found that sometimes withholding minor truths around someone who likes to over react is a lot better than having to justify yourself over what is usually fk all . i think my ex best friend had this narc syndrome and if i were to go out anywhere fun i would say i was going with my mum for the day , if i told him i was going out with another friend then it would end in a fall out guilt trips, text essays, he would tell me how i hate him and am abandoning him. so i j
ust lied , does that mean i'm entitled
Mine would always say, "it's not what you think." and then never explain what was actually going on. It was revolting. Eventually I just had enough and walked. But I wish I'd walked so much sooner, before I'd invested so much energy in trying to make it work. When they show entitlement view it for what it is. IGNORE the bullshit excuses they make. Gross behavior has no excuse. Remember that. And TRUST your gut and core beliefs.
My sister in law has been always my stressor, but it became serious problem when she moved in to our house before she found a house. She is the most entitled person I can think of. Her favorite word is "I've earned it". She believes everything she can earn to get it. But her "earn" means more like "deserve". There is no such thing as "we" or "appreciate" in her statements. So when she "earns" means she force someone to compromise it for her, because she thinks she deserves to have it.
Keep on keepin' it real, Dr. R.
Some entitled people are strict rule followers but they’re more entitled to less concrete things like your emotional energy, your loyalty, your time, etc. But this Entitled Person can’t be bothered to return the
Time
Support
Financial Help
Affection
when you’re in having a rough time ☹️☹️
Every word in your message is invaluable. Let us notice others!
I practice D.E.E.P. when faced with entitlement and rage. I usually don't defend, or engage or explain or personalize. If I strongly need to get it off my chest, I write it down on a piece of paper and read it to myself and realize that narcissistic people will never understand. So I don't waste time trying to make them understand! Thanks Dr. Ramani 🙂
What frightens me more than anything is how gullible so many of us are. I grew up with a narcissistic mother & had to develop a thick skin. Look around you. Entitlement is everywhere…
Thank you so much! It is useful for me as an Asperger too. I am quickly angry if something goes too slowly or goes a wrong way. It's not about another people ( in my case) but it's useful for me too, to learn staing calm.
The distraction exercises you give are the ones I'm given for chronic pain distractions. Noticing your surroundings really helps especially looking at how light captures your home items.
Thank you for this video, I often worry I'm a narcissist but I'm realising it's the negative talk my mum & sister's used to shout at me if I displayed discomfort with their behaviour or treatment. I even sent my husband the video of the covert type to see if I was that as he laughed when I mentioned it 😂 but it's just now I'm learning boundaries it feels very selfish, even knowing it's not because I'm still worrying about the narcissists. 🤦🏽♀️ Thank you so much for your videos. 🙏🏾
I just saw my cat walk across your room. 🤔 I live in Switzerland 🇨🇭- am I going mad?
😅
Catlighting to it's purest
My ex is an identical twin. I watched and heard so many stories about when she would do some really nasty things to her sister and did she ever feel entitled to. It’s all so sad and upsetting.
Thank you Thank you Thank You Dr Ramani ❤🙏🏽 You are a true gem. 💎💟🙌🏽
Wow the 100th comment. Give thanks for this meditation Doc. Todays my daughter's Earthday and im going through this currently with the mother. We appreciate your Divine Energy. Abundance of Free Spiritedness be unto you and yours.
In this unprecedented times the young people are become a selfish society. Entitlement, exist in 2days' society. I hope that he youngsters will be bless by these valuable teaching. Very valuable & at my senior age, l am learning fr. u.TQ
Thank you Dr. Ramani.
And if you are an employer, respect your employees' right to leave on time as much as you expect them to come to work on time. Remember that work, as well as all life, is a two-way street.
never seen an employer like that in my life
Right on Dr. I'm great full for your insight 👌👍👏😉. PEACE ✌☮🕊🙏
Your 😺 cat made a cameo 🤣. Very cool 😺. Thank you for the great work you are doing.
My father,thinks that he entitled all his friends,running in-and-out of his house 24/7.thay are no rules for his friends. But me he, was rules for me.