Everyday tasks with ADHD: Cleaning
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- Опубліковано 5 гру 2022
- ADHD is a difficult thing to explain to people, so instead, I'm going to show you. First, I set up a camera and filmed myself cleaning my office, then I conducted a play-by-play analysis, highlighting the observed ADHD behaviors.
Were we efficient? No.
Did we get it done? Sort of...
My Mom would say "You didn't clean your room. You moved your mess!" 😂
I felt every movement and thought you made.
I can relate to thinking “This is a good box, I might need this box”. But never use it.
Add depression to ADHD (they frequently go together) and you have chaos, clutter, and no skill or energy to clean or organize.
I feel this in my soul. I also became disabled in my early 20s(I'm 31 now), so now my mental energy days rarely match up with my physical energy days 🥲 but this channel has helped a lot lol
(I swear I'm not trying to one-up you; I just wanted to... add to the sentiment, I guess? Sorry! 😅)
the pliers mysteriously manifesting on the chair when you turn your back, picking up things, contemplating them, then putting them back to where they were, "need more coffee", putting the light up on top of the closet in what seems like divine inspiration and then realising you haven't used it once since, "i have it here because i know i could have a use for it", never returning things bought impulsively that turned out not to work or were not needed, "put it on the list, right?", having a full interaction with every single item (where did this come from? what am i gonna use it for? what could i use it for?) instead of just "okay, where does this go?", wanting to keep things in sight so that it's more likely you're gonna get around to the project the object exists for, all of this before eventually calling it good enough even though in reality, i've just spent like 30 minutes moving things from left to right without actually cleaning up and exhausting myself. and then... DOOM PILE
fr tho, if the inspiration strikes i can go until i collapse, but on an everyday basis, all of this ^ just takes soo much energy for soo little progress. makes it so hard to get things in order, and in adulthood, with a whole ass house to take care of, by the time i make it through all the rooms, the first room is already back to chaos. makes me feel a bit better that at least i'm not alone with this struggle
I am only 1/2 way through this video and have to comment. I have ADHD and have struggled for years. I have never seen a video showing what I actually look like when trying to organize. Thank you!
This felt so good. Someone else feels and does stuff exactly like i do. Things like i do. I will also try documenting cleaning, that will actually give it an acceptable purpose for me. Please do keep making it. I am commenting here just for it. This really felt good and made me feel seen. Thank you again.
Thanks so much for letting me know - I'm really happy to hear it! I'll keep this series going! And definitely do give documenting your processes a go. It's something I've done long before the UA-cam videos, and a great way to gather insights missed when we're in the moment
Filming myself is like body doubling. I usually end up having conversations with myself about things to remember.
I’m did this Saturday. Clean the garage for six hours and the only thing noticeable was I moved the dog door bin.
One idea that has helped me immensely is the BOX method, not sure what it's actually called. Basically you get a big box that you put in the corner or somewhere out of the way and when you find something that you don't have a home for, you put it in the box. It's a quick way to reduce clutter. The hard part is later finding a time to go through the box and find a home for everything. Lately I've been trying to find a home for one thing per week at a minimum.
I usually start working on one side of the room and work my way to the other side. I also make myself put away in a proper "final" place, whatever I touch before picking something else up. Even if I have to walk to another room, I make sure that I don't have to handle something again. I also categories if it's a total mess. I only handle the trash, then clothes, then electronic stuff, then papers for example. Also setting a timer helps too. This has taken me years to get a system because I used to have stuff everywhere and it was overwhelming to get things neat and orderly.
This was the most interesting ADHD video I've seen!
Though, my 1st thought was that the room wasn't that messy. :)
Thanks, that was helpful! I found out I m neurodivergent only some months ago and my house has always been a stressful collection of too many objects. It seemed nobody was able to help and neither could I find a ways to create something better. I have been trying so many things in order to change it, and most did not work. As you say what helps is to set something up, like a day where friends are coming over or a video shoot that pushes me to make it cleaner and nicer.
A few things that resonated with me... Struggling with categories. Too many objects are a category of one. Without general categories, it's hard to assign an object a home, someplace you will consistently put that thing and know where to find it when needed. Out of sight, out of mind -- that's a big one. Fear of forgetting about something, especially if it's some kind of unfinished project. But too many things left where you can see them translates into a big visually confusing mess. Not being able to accept the limits of time and therefore deluding oneself about creative reuse of objects, so you end up with things that are cool in your imagination, but really just "someday"clutter (and a source of anxiety, especially regarding what others think of the chaos). Not having a general big picture for the use of a space, so you make dozens or even hundreds of decisions in the moment, most of which will be unsustainable. Planning and scheduling are two activities that set off mind freeze in me. They are hot button words. BUT without having even a really simple plan and a deadline, and a big picture, I usually accomplish nothing, and end up really frustrated with myself and discouraged. Right now, I am experimenting with 2 things, working on one goal for a minimum of 5 minutes a day, and building up my tolerance for feeling anxious. Saying "just for 5 minutes" makes me feel relaxed about doing something. Letting myself feel anxious but still doing the activity (making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, taking a shower, shutting off the screen and getting ready for bed, leaving the house on time without doing "just one more thing", etc.) seems to get slightly easier each time, especially because it's a small victory or success that lets me feel good about myself. I only wish I didn't have to spend so much mental effort on getting through each day. But that's what ADHD is, for me and I guess many others, so no use whining over it. I think most human beings have something they struggle with, so that means I am just human.
Your comment fits with what I'm struggling with at the moment. I know there are many things I need to do and to plan/schedule them. Most of them don't actually have a deadline or finish date imposed by anyone other than myself. I have alot of repeating tasks that are boring but really need to be done.
I have long term goals but can't seem to translate them into the "right now" actions. For example I am working with a lady to Declutter, clean and organise my house to make it more functional. I've been recovering from being bed bound with a list of chronic health challenges and I need to change how my whole house is set up so I can use the rooms again. I also need to set up a house cleaning/maintenance routine/system so I can manage the repeating tasks.
I'm basically rebuilding my life. I either have too much time to think and not enough energy to physically do what is needed OR enough energy but not enough focus.. Ive taken to writing lists and putting post it notes on boxes or cupboards about what needs to be done.
Blessings, Dot
I have never in my life related to someone so much. The perfect depiction of my cleaning process.
I laughed out loud multiple times, because I was thinking about how the process makes sense to me, and then you proceed to explain it right afterward. Also, when you said "that's a good reminder" to drink some water, I had just said the same thing to myself and was getting up to get some water.
The number one thing you pointed that made me understand my ADHD a little more, was when you said. Every single thing you pick up, you have an interaction with, and plan what you could possibly do with it in the future.
I'm cleaning right now, which is why I came across your video and that's exactly what I do, but have never exactly put it into words or thought of in in that way before.
I honestly think just knowing that and understanding that about my self, might make it easier for me to recognize it and advert ! Before I get side tracked or overwhelmed with the process like usual !!
🙌🙏 thaaaanks man ! This actually really helped
pliers on the chair...I felt that. Husband and I are both ADHD blessed. Clutter screams at me, so I have to have some cleared spaces and use baskets for his stuff. When his thoughts shift, the husband drops whatever is in his hand, yes, on the closest clean space, never in "his" basket. I remember the Proverb "the empty stable stays clean" and remain grateful I have my precious husband to do life with.
Your shorts on Instagram really helped me understand myself, they are super relevant.
You're doing amazing, very important jib, i really wish you have thousands subscribers here. Keep up, thanks!
I'm so happy you found them helpful, and I really appreciate the kind words!
this is amazing to watch, somehow i feel less like a failure... the struggle is real but the frustration and shame about it is even worse and it rlly helps to see that im not alone. my friends have adhd too but whenever they invite me everything is quite organized and their doompiles dont seem as bad as mine.... i keep spreading out my doom piles bc i wanna be able to find things quicker and havent figured out how to adapt my home to me
thank you for sharing
Your "this is messy" looks clean compared to my room. In fact, it looks do able to clean for me. I have like 20 projects going on in my room with still my bed, desks, and entertainment system, and books.
I relate hardcore. That was so gratifying to watch and see that with ADHD, it's not about the kind of mess, but the mental process to deal with it. So I guess I can't make the "my mess is too complicated" excuse anymore...
Haha great idea to film yourself. When I try to clean it's usually almost stop motion-style bc I have this moment of "where to put this" or "I could keep this" basically with everything I pick up. And then I cant decide and I just freeze for 30 mins and go do sthg else. Or I can't even decide what even to pick up.
I once spent a night sitting on the floor a huge pile of plastic bags before me not being able to decide on discarding them. It was funny and awful at the same time. 🤣
Omg bro, the "good box" struggle is so real. 😂 I finally had to just devote a big box to keep all the good boxes in. Idk what else to do.
I started looking for info about ADHD because my son has been diagnosed. Now I wonder if I am not the same... 😳😳😳
Many parents are diagnosed after their kids are.
So true, when cleaning my room the clutter that doesn’t have a spot gets tossed on my bed until I can… toss in my chair and then then my bed. And then when I use my bed I toss it in the chair and uh… well it’s a system.
Boxes help me. I throw in everything with no place or things that need a decision later… that way i see the room clearer which gives motivation to keep cleaning.
I use baskets! It's easier to move the bulk of items to clean under and around, and the number of all items is reduced to "one thing to do", so it calms my anxiety. 😅
The BOXES !!! SAME… o just move Stuff around from one space to another, maybe throwing out 3 or so things…. So Essentially it’s the SAME MESS, Just RELOCATED !!!!! Thanks For Letting Me Know I’m Not ALONE in this MADNESS !!! Smart that you have no drawers in the desk !!!
It really helps to see you struggle the same way I do. (I don't mean it in a rude way) Usually when someone tells you "Yeah same!" you only have their word and never know if it actually is the same or they completely misunderstood you. I could just put my head on your body there (super weird) and it would be a video of me "tidying up". Even though I usually just rearrange the mess. Then always feeling like I scored some points when e. g. I can throw something in the trash because it's probably the only efficient thing I do during the task. Thanks for the video, it made me feel seen a lot.
“Every thing I pick up there’s an interaction with…”
I completely relate to this and feel this is why it takes so long to accomplish any cleaning or organizing. I’m swamped. I can’t keep up with life’s to-dos anymore and it’s embarrassing and frustrating.
That cigarbox will make a good dnd dice box. I want!
You need a book shelf on the wall next to your desk. You could baskets on the shelves, and fill them with all your things that you don't know what to do with. You can also add some books and your Google mini speaker. Try it.
Dude this video was so good and so painfull to watch at the same time! I mean because it is so much like me. I too save boxes that I don't really need, and move things from one place to another, to in the end just put them back where they were before. But even if I can totally relate to this I have a small piece of advise for you that I think can help: you are not able to find "homes" for your stuff because you simply dont have furniture! You need drawers or closets, I mean places to put your things so that you know THIS specific item goes there...if not you will always be making it look tydier but it will never be trully organized. ¡Thanks for sharing! ❤.
The number one reason why it is so hard to clean for me personally is that I don't know where to put anything. So, I will clear off a table or a corner or something, but all of the stuff will just end up in a pile on one table on the other side of the room. Then when I'm finished cleaning everything except that one table, then I have to actually figure out where all of my crap goes. Then after cleaning I will never be able to find anything ever again! 😅
I create a home (or safe spot) for one item at a time and use labels. Parts of my house look like a day care or preschool because I have to label containers, boxes, cupboard, shelves and drawers with what is in them or I simply forget where I put them.
I'm slowly working through items like books, cds, clothes and linen that have been building up in my house for more than 10 years. I'm recovering from being bed bound so if all I can do is label 1 box or home for 1 item then I call it a win.
I try to do the labels 5 per day and on a good day I can declutter and sort for 2 hours total time.
The BOXES !!! SAME… o just move Stuff around from one space to another, maybe throwing out 3 or so things…. So Essentially it’s the SAME MESS, Just RELOCATED !!!!! Thanks For Letting Me Know I’m Not ALONE in this MADNESS !!!
Love it! So true! Thank you! I just don't know where to put things/sad to see things that I bought & haven't used. Plans without follow-through :( & then I know I'm not drinking enough
Worse is when you leave the room to put something where it goes only to get distracted by another task and then another only to end up with 12 started tasks and 0 completed ones. I have learned to sort things into piles. A pile for things to go to the kitchen or to the garage or anywhere. Then I sort items that go in the room so that I can see what needs to go together. Idk it helps me visualize a plan.
I have a box near the door of the room I'm currently trying to work on to put items in and I stick post it notes on them of where they need to go. I'm having to declutter, clean and organise so it's functional for when I get a flare-up of my chronic health challenges. Doing this work while in a flare-up means I need help but I'm starting to see the progress I'm making.
It's nice to see a stack of 7 storage boxes in a place where there was a massive pile of stuff, it was taller than me (I'm 5 foot 4 inches).
this is relatable to the point of being scary
Same exact approach to the chaos in my studio!
Oh, this hurt to watch. It is 100% what I do. I have to sort out my office, and this simultaneously makes me scared and hopeful (I need a plan, and to stick to it)!
The box thing really made me feel seen...
I have so many doom boxes!
But I just wanted to say that I think you did amazing. I absolutely would have walked a single item back to where it should be in the house so many times and you managed to not do that
Thank you for sharing 😊
Thanks for the video, was very insightful even for an ADHD-er like myself
I feel EXACTLY THE SAME, MY WHOLE HOUSE NEEDS A GOOD PLACE FOR STUFF
I managed to figure out a system. Move everything from the desired place to another place. Return items I want there. Figure out where to put the items that are left over. Figure out how to close the closet where I put all those things. Done for the spring.
That was painful, and funny. My rooms usually start from a far worse state than that, and rarely get to the state of tidiness you started with! I'm AuDHD, so have the added complication of an autistic need for organisation and order, that I fail to achieve!
I can never pass up a good piece of cardboard or a box. There’s a nice assortment of awesome boxes in my room of doom 😂 it drives my husband nuts.
I'm 78 and have numerous collections, mostly already used containers, like larger plastic bags, dropper bottles, spice jars, small boxes, mailing envelopes, etc. The blessing is I have learned to hold a new one while looking at my stash and recite, "it's OK, I actually have enough." and let this one be recycled.
Mannnn I'm 2 min and... always foiled by any container--boxes and bags.
I do exactly the same thing move stuff around pack it neat ,have boxes also 😂😂 I love this video thanks Alot 😁🥳
I have like 11 of these "organised" boxes in my house 😂
Omg.. I've got one corner in the living room and then on the bed that's not too cluttered to do videos in😳
5:48 in and I can confirm that this is essentially a live stream of me tidying anything. Wow 😩
Thank you for giving your perspective. This gave me so much insight into my other half. I am opposite, i love to organize and keep things super neat and tidy. Do you have any tips on how i could help, when he is ready to clean a space without making him feel overwhelmed?
Sometimes just being in the same room helps the person with ADHD stay on task. You may also be able to help him assign an object a category so that he can decide what to group together. Also prompts like, "if you needed this where is the first place you think you would look?" That helps assign a home, even if it seems illogical to you. Just listening to his decision making process can also help him hear himself, if that makes sense. You being the one to put an item where it belongs in another room versus letting him do it can help him avoid distractions. Writing stuff down, like "we need a shelf for these things" or hooks on the wall, or one of those over the door shoe organizers, or folders, etc. allows him to keep up his momentum without being sidetracked by other "ideas". You could ask him if he'd like you to do any of these things. Or if he has other suggestions. Good luck to both of you.
Same, Man! Same.
Omg...
"a good box...."
💀👻
ok 1. my dad has those silver weighted balls 😆 2. this gave me so much anxiety because this is exactly how I clean.. I pick things up. my brain goes into processing mode. I'll end up with a pile somewhere. realizing I don't want a pile. I find other places for stuff. or a box to stuff stuff in 😆 It's weird to see myself clean as a dude (yes, I do also have adhd. And autstim, and some other things)
Wires drived on my nerves 😑
I'm so bad with cleaning #relatable. I'm trying to clean right now but making no progress :-(
ugh...this is literally me (and yes, I'm diagnosed ADHD)
I’m a 40yr old mom of 3 with ADHD and I’m already relating to this video 2:20 😂
That room is not messy. Not even close to an ADHD house in my opinion.
Look up a slob comes clean, Dana K White, and do a review of her methods. It would make an interesting video.
That does not look like a disaster
Yup
I adore you but my clutter kicks your clutters' butt lol
🤣🤣🤣 a c c u r a t e
I don't have my diagnosis yet but that was basically me in the video lol