Set BOUNDARIES with the avoidant
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- #boundaries #healthyboundaries #toxicrelationships #avoidant #dating #relationship #relationshipcoach #avoidantattachment #attachment #situationship #insecureattachment #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidant #emotionallyunavailable #heartbroken #breakup
This is so critical for all relationships, especially if you're masochistic enough to pursue an avoidant.
😂😂
Whenever you start to set boundaries, there will be just 1% that will choose to stay and to accept them.
The rest will just change person as they would do with their shirt, searching someone much less demanding. Nowadays we are enable to find people right away.
So if you really want to respect yourself, be ready also to know how to manage your loneliness because trust me, you will have to face it.
Congratulations for your content and thank you very much, you are helping me through my breakup a lot.
I wish I could have expressed my boundary vocally in the end. When after the discard and a year of breadcrumbs, he contacted me with more nostalgic texts about the good memories and the love I gave him, there only was a weak accountability "even if I was not always nice. or it didn't work out". I had responded to all his sporadic contact before and it went nowhere. So this time, I had to change. I needed more to even respond. And I didn't feel ready to talk to him, afraid of what he could say. I was too attached still. So I ignored. I guess that's also a tacit boundary. But he had to find for himself the reasons why. It doesn't seem like he is capable of self-reflection nor to put himself in my shoes. Anyway he has not contacted me since.
Good luck with that! Avoidants have to be in control
I gave him space and he still sabotaged us. 🤷♀️ No benefits ever
They simply cannot handle boundaries! I called out his BS when the slow fade and ghosting began, i asserted my boundaries stating that I value good & consistent communication which I have said from the time we started talking, so when i called him out and said he can't come and go as and when he likes (calls/msgs because its LDR), he flipped it around saying that he's not ready bla bla and asked 'so how do you want to move on'. I lost it there, told i don't want to waste my time with someone unsure about me and wished he finds someone that aligns with me. I was so mad, hurt and infuriated, but have healed so much and can see clearly for what it was.
When I said what I wouldn’t do. (Because sabotage was starting)
That was the beginning of the fade out in two relationships.
When i finally sat down boundaries for my partner and refused to be her "therapist" for her job-related issues over many years, she monkeybranched with a co-worker and discarded me after 15 years as a couple... The pain from the breakup was brutal and I had to rebuilt my identity. I should have sat down those boundaries many years ago, but lesson learned...!
She set boundries on texting me first or stopping me doing things for her.
All my avoidant husband ever wanted from me was sex. Beyond that there was zero interest in anything I felt, thought or had to say. He is extremely emotionally delayed and repressed. It took me years to realise how much because I grew up with emotionally avoidant parents and brother and thought it was normal. When we were young I thought one day he would open up and start talking. He never did. It’s been incredibly lonely and invalidating. I often feel like exiting the planet as I see no way of escaping this hell.
Perfect timing here. Thank you for this powerful reminder. So grateful your channel popped up! I've liked and subbed. Infinite thanks for your humility and grounded delivery. Many Blessings! ✨️🙏💖
0h, my ex wanted to be friends. Still probably wants it. She said: I think we should have stayed friends right from the start. If you want to give me news about your new position at work, you can. Eventually, we could go on hikes as friends like we used to do in the beginning.
Then, I told her I would need time before being able to do that. How much time? I didn't know then ( that was around two months ago, when she discarded me out of the blue)
Today, the only boundary I can think to set is to keep on going forward without her in my life in any way. Just do the healing, forget, and forgive and keep on going forward. Eventually someone more suited to me will come along.
THIS IS ONE OF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT POINTS FOR ME!
Beautifully put together thank you 🙏
THE BEST & to the point ‼️🎉
Thank you for this. ❤️🩹
Thank you this is powerful
I had a partner a year
This boundies issue was up and down and all over these are significant to standing in your power and being seen and holding the boundaries .🎉
So good!!!! Thank you 🙏🏽
Hey man I really appreciate your videos. They've helped a great deal. You've lead me to understand my partner better and taught me how to deal with them.
Looking for some advice with an Avoidant friend. If you can't encourage them and point out their good qualities because it makes them afraid and you can't challenge them because of their behavior because it makes them afraid how are you supposed to communicate with them? Thank you.
Thanks :)
I did that. She wasnt going to make the rules. Worth way more then that