Totally true. Sounds exactly like my Dad. He abandoned me and left me on a sidewalk as I watched him drive away without me. I have never cried over his death. I only felt relief.
True! I am one of the discarded child.But now the i am an self appreciated adult with 3 beautiful adult children of my own ,We are God blessed and whole and healthy family! You can rise above a Narcissist Mother /Parents. God will see you through! Look from things above ,Thats where i found love.
My nrc mother talks just like you the religious part of her narssisium is the seat of her mental illness that tells her ," it's between her God and Jesus...
@@lilihillis1449 The way i see, is our attitude is our out come. My mom prepared me for others who are like her in this world. We have a life to live full and abundantly. I refuse to live in bondage of my mothers sickness ,Gone on forward with life ,I will answer for my life come that day. and with that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. "Phil.4 :13
As a former scapegoat within a family where Narcissism was the rule, I agree with this. My elder brother was the "golden child", and I the black sheep. I was the screen onto which my mother projected her lies and deception.
When I found out I couldn't have children my mother said if she were to do it over again she wouldn't have had any (4) children. Before I realized she was narcissistic I thought, does she realize who she is talking too? She definitely planned to keep her son enmeshed and 3 daughters from marrying anyone close to the quality man my Dad was! Jealous? Oh yes! I was told growing up that I was a 'mini me' of her. That made it more difficult as we aged. Especially when we were putting on our makeup sharing the (same only) bathroom mirror at the beach. I would get those how dare you 'be younger' looks from her. Daggers! It was only at the end when I realized my one sister to be a narcissistic sociopath that things started to make sense. And that knowledge continued to reveal my other sibs. I was the scapegoat. When I started healing I was no longer easy to manipulate, the smearing was brutal they alienated me from family weddings etc. I went no contact and it has been the happiest I've ever been! No drama to deal with, No head games to twist my world. I'm still working on it! Denial is so much more, less painful to believe those redeeming qualities you have hopefully attached to them, may someday manifest themselves for real! The truth is it's never about you, and ultimately, that is a good thing! There is much freedom in that knowledge to move on. You did nothing wrong, it's all about them, their issues, and a deep incurable insecurity that makes them selfish and hateful. The grooming was so subtle, I often would wonder,..they really didn't realize they were hurtful, did they? Without boundaries, Healthy Boundaries, knowing your deal breakers, you will continue to draw the manipulation of a narcissist. If you can't figure out what you want, but you are aware of what's important to everyone else, you've been groomed by a narcissist. Go to your mirror and start saying NO! It's the most powerful word we have, a complete sentence! Hear yourself say it, feel it! I started yelling it, it was so freeing and empowering! It is now my favorite word. 🥳 Deal with your codependency, wrestle with it until you win! Get online, find out who you are through the Color Code and Myer Briggs. Ask your (real) friends what qualifies they see in you. Make a list of your deal breakers and Never break your own boundaries! It can save your life! Certainly save many years wasted with the wrong person. Don't be complacent about your life by floating through it! You are created by GOD, HIS Fingerprints are all over you. GOD had a good idea, and created you to fulfill it! That makes you GOD'S Good idea! You have a purpose in this world so don't let anyone even imply you are less than Priceless!
My dad was a narcissist,my mom died when I was three leaving six children with my dad and we ended up having six stepmothers we couldn’t cry about our moms death , he would punch my young brothers in the face when he caught them crying, they went to school with black eyes a lot , I was to little for beatings but I witnessed him beating my brothers all the time it was very traumatic, I could never understand neighbors knew, teachers knew and nobody ever tried to help us that part has bothered me all my life , my beatings started at fourteen and other abuses I saved my little stepsister,told her mother to get her out of here before he starts doing to her what he did to me I was getting older and learned to fight back, thankfully she did ,to this day I don’t trust anybody , but God 🙏🙏🙏✝️✝️✝️ I hate this world. To this day if someone try’s to SHAME ME I become enraged with anger , luckily it rarely happens any more, and I keep to myself ,for self protection.
Ii is my mum that's a narcissist, but I send you my love and a big hug I understand why you keep away from people I do the same thing I don't trust people I've been hurt and used to much,I only trust myself anyway good luck to you but I'm here if you want to talk
@@rachaelfreeman613 Thankyou Rachael that was sweet and kind of you “like can relate to like” I send you the same kindness if you ever need an ear I’m right here 💕✝️🙏😘
Emotional incest! Finally someone puts words to my experience. Actually, my mother acted like a rejected lover when I married, followed by rejection. Then she took the trouble to poison the rest of the family against me. Ah, well...
MIL would tell me( infront of her son & others) how wonderful it was that he met me.. But then call me to complain how unfair it was that she couldn't watch EWTN because he was spending all his money on me!! His wife..😳🤷
When you have PTSD from a parent who raised you like this, you get little bits of these traits as well. However, the difference is, I recognize it, stop myself and apologize if necessary.
This is best comment as its FM inform position .If you raised by narcs it will surface bsc they live in us but best integrate them to take a bk seat so I unlearn the damages.All the narc kids here pointing fingers but we all know we are the fruits of that tree..Thx for being human.lots of hugs
@jimbrillon Thank you so much for your videos. Your videos are helping me just now in life about my parents, and I'll be 60 next year. Better late than never. May your life be immensely blessed for your kind heart and straightforwardness.
I can relate ... mother... it was hard and hurtful but I'd rather feel compassion for her, She has recently passed away 😪 I'm learning so much. Thank you 😊 💓
Thanks for explaining how narcissists shame children, and dumping emotional baggage on them and how they abandon them. This has happened to me but as I have gotten older I recognize the narcissist behavior in my parent.
This describes my mother perfectly! From an early age I recall my family life centering around her. Lots of invalidation, emotional incest and shaming. She’s almost 94 and still has me doing her bidding.
My mom did this with my brother and sister when she got older. Very dependent on them. She never bothered me. I was the scapegoat. I guess I had my place and role in the family. I did not attend her funeral. Not because I did not care about her. She was gone. I was not willing to deal with siblings in their denial.
What my siblings n I have learned to do is when our Mom starts taking over our conversation about someone she will turn it around n make it all about her, so at that point , we decide that the conversation is over n walk away.
That is exactly my mom, and I have four siblings. The youngest, 52, will argue for hours with her as the four of us know to just walk away from both of them. Sickening.
My mom bounced from the keeping me small tactic to doing EVERYTHING for me. It was a way to endebt me ( "after all I have done, you owe me") or play the martyr. Since she passed, my world has incredibly opened up. I wished I had gone no contact sooner.
Wow you nail it everytime ..! And yes through any means..they use and control and abuse tell you you are whatever they don't like about themselves or what they are guilty of and try and take yours n play that roleshift... and you gotta be a saint.while they are actually criminal...and be perfect...and if you are not screwing up..they will create sumpthing you did wrong up...to keep you questioning your own feelings of right and wrong ..good or bad .etc..
Abandoned by a narcissistic mother. When I asked her why, she told me that she wished I was never born and that I was interfering with her fun. Totally relate to this post.
I am truly learning a lot from your videos. I am in the middle of a divorce with my narcissistic husband. He discarded and abandoned (19 years of marriage) our 3 children (15, 12, 8) and myself. He moved far away with his new supply that he was seeing behind our backs. He was talking to our daughter about his new supply during our divorce. It's terrible. Thanks again for your videos.
JIM ALL IS ON POINT. I WITNESSED THIS IN MY FAMILY WITH MY NEICE, BUT THEY ALL APPEARS TO BE IN THE BEGINNING STAGE OF THIS PERSONALITY DISORDER. YESSS MY NEICE ABANDONED ALL THREE GIRLS I RAISED THEM BUT SHE CAME BACK IN THEIR LIVES TO DESTROY ALL THAT WAS TAUGHT TO THEM MANNERS RESPECT LOVE ALL GONE WHEN SHE GOT CUSTODY. HER AIM WAS TO UNDO HOW I BROUGHT THEM UP. NOW THE CHILDREN ARE IN MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS. I CRY A LOT BECAUSE OF THIS INSANITY THEY'RE GOING THROUGH. THEY BELIEVE SHE HATES THEM. IT TRULY BAD, A GREAT GREAT GREAT AUNT WHO RAISED THESE CHILDREN FROM BIRTH 17 YRS. THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO.
I'll never forget the day my mother told me to never ever sing as I was tone deaf. I was 6 yrs old. To this day, I could never sing in church or karaoke I was the middle child, the only girl. The scars from narcissistic abuse are still a part of me at 58. I was the scapegoat My mom favored my oldest brother over myself and my youngest brother. I did my best to protect my youngest brother.
My mother offered to kill me twice, like a" favor", I confronted her last year,she said I was such a handful, so I said,so if a child of yours is more then you can handle you have the right to murder them? She said...yes...I said goodbye and haven't look.back...I'm 65...and finally free!
My mom beat me up when I was in my first year of college. I called my friend to pick me up and my mom ripped the phone out of the jack. I was not sure my friend got the message that I needed her to come rescue me. I ran outside and waited. She came, and when my mom saw me about to leave, she came out of the door with a rosary, held up the cross and said, "I wish death upon YOU!!" Her voice was guttural and hoarse, like she was possessed. My friend heard my mother's every word. Till the day she died, she denied ever saying it (typical gas lighting). I wished I had never gone back to that family. It only hurt me.
Narcissistic parents will have you acting like an adult when you are a small child. At 4 years old I had to stay home and babysit my infant sister. Then when you actually become an adult they treat you like a child. My parents want to control every aspect of my life, decisions, and money and I’m 35 years old.
At 12yo I saw My mother discard my oldest sister, 22, be discarded bc she became pregnant. Taught Can't trust Mom when u have a problem.I, scapegoat was discarded daily.
Yep…when I moved out of state I was basically “betraying “ her. She will never forgive me…but neither will she admit that. So I am abandoned and gaslit.
My mom is letting me starve while asking me to buy thanksgiving dinner (on my Foodshare), even though she knows the card was empty at the beginning of the month after buying her groceries a day before I left to go home. She totally upended my house while I was doing rotations between a few clinics and a hospital, sabotaging my second degree. She wants a yes women and a mini me, for me to come and keep her company to feed her narcissism, and she causes me such anxiety, while she hovers, that my disability becomes worse due to exhausting myself. She takes no responsibility for anything, like deciding to come into my home when I was away and unable to come home, she won’t take responsibility for doing that or that for me as someone with a physical disability following a brain injury from a viral infection (on top of far too many concussions.) She lets herself off the hook and goes with “it’s your problem, now!” After I was brutally raped, I was send back to uni days after telling my parents that I was quitting to get my head together, to prevent my grades from tanking. They forced me in the car and dropped me at the dorm. A year later, I moved to the East Coast and left my family. If it wasn’t for my great grandmother, I wouldn’t have returned. Now, I am just existing and catering to my mom. My dad died and now I need to step into his shoes. Narcissistic parents cannibalize their children.
If I were you I would leave leave her let her fend for herself I know she's your mother but still. My ex is a passive aggressive covert narc. It is awful some of the things he says to my daughter she is a daddy's girl and she loves him she's now in therapy. I suggest you try therapy as well good luck God bless and be a peace.
put her in a home and change your locks and tell your household she is not welcome in your house anymore. enough is enough. stop her from ruining your kids if you have any. its up to u to get rid of that abuse. im so sorry she did all this to you. you are strong and you can have a better life. God bless you✝️💞💕💖
Thank you both. I have changed my locks and have the only keys. I did that as soon as I returned form clinicals, now I have to sort everything and I do mean EVERYTHING and put things in their homes. I plan to just get rid of most of it. I am too damn tired to fix it. This is the day before thanksgiving and I am going to show up for dinner, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to show up early and help. I do need to dog sit for my bro, while he takes her to a doctor appointment 5 hours away, which will be at her house, but then I can leave. I won’t be stuck there for weeks, walking on eggshells. Although, I know I will get berated and guilted for not helping prepare dinner. She can’t berate everyone and my brother is the golden child and not expected to cook, so I take it for all three of us. She knows I am the one it will hurt, the others don’t care. I am in a bad spot of becoming disabled at 35, following a virus, and need my mom to help. It used to be my dad helping me financially, as he was the one who made all the money, now he is gone and she keeps me on a tight leash. She did text me to go buy the turkey and I said I couldn’t. She spent my Foodshare the first week of the month, so no turkey. Hell, I’ve been eating jam sandwiches and water…I can’t afford to buy a turkey. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and responding. I feel completely alone.
@@___LC___ oh man. there are some things i wanna say right now that are harsh. i mean, shes the matriarch, why isnt she cooking?🤣 or like "im disabled mom, remember?" im just so sorry your life is like this. i do hope there will be a big change soon for you. i know my other comment to you did not reflect it at all, but i rely strongly on the Lord. knowing that this life is short compared to the eternal joy of heaven when i pass....maybe i can nudge you to give Him a chance? you are in my thots, my heart goes out to you, you are beautiful! i really do hope that no matter how life goes for you, that you will find peace and rest and joy. for me, that will be in heaven and probably only then. happy thanksgiving!!!✝️💖💕💓
She may have given birth to you but that does not mean she has the right to treat you this way. You have the right to disengage from her- to protect yourself. Someone has to be the adult- see the situation and the detriment to your own health and life it is and disengage. If she won’t be the adult then you need to step up and be the adult. The old excuse of “he/she’s your father/mother” is only applicable when they have choosing to act like a parent. Your mother has chosen to act like a jealous acquaintance stealing everything including your soul from you. Be the adult and save yourself and disengage. I had to ‘grow up’ and disengage for my mental health preservation and self respect. The abuser had no interest in doing it and has no respect for me never has and never will.
JIM, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO HAVE CREATED SO MANY PROBLEMS IN MY ENTIRE FAMILY LIFE. SHE DID SOOO MUCH TO DESTROY THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN SHE NEVER WANTED. I WISH I HAD UNDERSTOOD MANY YEARS AGO WHAT I KNOW NOW. I RAISED MY NEICE SHE LEFT THE CHILDREN RETURNED WITH HURTING THEM TO HURT ME AND SHE WON I AM HURT FOR LIFE LOOKING AT THE MENTAL STATE THE CHILDREN ARE IN AND NOW I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT HER ANY MORE. HER ANGER WAS BECAUSE THE CHILDREN HAD A BEAUTIFUL NURTURED LIFE. SO TO HURT ME THE TARGET WAS THESE WELL BEHAVED STUDEIOUS VERY INTELLIGENT CHILDREN. NOW THEY'RE ACTING LIKE HER. THANKS FOR EDUCATING US ALL. BLESSINGS
Sadly watching this happen. Narc ex goes for a mixture of abandoning and shaming the kids. It's a pity to see them just trying to be loved by their mom and being rejected over and over.
You just described my daughter. I’m learning how to deal with my adult daughter’s narcissistic personality. Her children, her family and I suffer from her behaviors. We love her for who she is, but we don’t like her ways.
My kids father is a narcissist he discarded our son . He was so jealous of him . I think because he’s mom treated him bad. My grandma treated me bad but I treat my kids the way I wanted to be treated. I let them know there loved.
My mother abandoned me when I was 17 years old. She simply moved to another city to be with my older sister. I was 17 and still in school. She saw nothing wrong with this.
That’s horrible! My mom abandon me and my sister who were living at home at age 21 & 22, my sister wasn’t working as a single parent with a 1 year old baby, she just moved away and we were homeless with no time to find a place to live, she thought nothing of it
As a kid I was given goodwill clothes rather than new school clothes and can count on my hand a few times I ever got new clothes. When I did get new clothes I was guilt tripped that she never got nice things. I was left alone and isolated while she worked. When home she spent time with her new husband and rarely me. When I was grown she was only nice when I was buying things for her. She called me fat ugly and stupid as a child and I was skinny. I failed in school and never got any encouragement to do good. She took me out of school early and said she was homeschooling me but didn’t and gave me a book to study at that point for 10 years I worked hard to get a ged with an 8th grade education. She was jealous when I got into any relationship and would sabotage it. Now I have a diagnosis from a psychologist that I have cptsd and since that diagnosis, I’ve noticed bpd like symptoms which I know I meet 9 symptoms of.
My ex to a “T” - he was diagnosed with ALS - took it to a whole new level with our only son - now they are both gone d/t his demands and control - always treated my son as if he were an appendage of himself 💔😭
Yea. Narc mom. This is she. Her whole life, she has stuffed her face, her closet, her jewelry box and her house. Her only value for anyone else, is how that person benefits her end goals.
From what I've read alot about we reincarnate and choose our parents & path and we keep living different lives with the same people. Of course nobody knows for sure but I hope not, cause I can't stand the thought of my mother AGAIN
I'm interested, in where you got this knowledge and confirmation. I know there's more people worldwide who believe in reincarnation than the punishment/reward of heaven & hell.
I was a discarded child and now have two children who have dealt all their lives with narcissist fathers. They stole them from me and mistreated them. Still mistreating them and I have suffered so much lost of their childhood. Never again will engage with males like this. Punishment was being a female in the eyes of my parents. They will not see my children as family or human beings worthy of love and acceptance. 😪
My two diganosed ex narcs did everything for their kids. Buying stuff over protective. Sleeping in one bed. everything to feel loved by something. Sickening. My narc mom didn t give a thing. So they have two methods. 😂😂😂
I have a good story for you. I was watching my daughter a.k.a. the narcissist dog while she was out of town and it bit me. Not like bite but attack drawing blood the whole works. I called her and told her what happened and she blamed it on my grandson! She said it’s his fault! I was shocked! I said he has nothing to do with this he wasn’t near him, but she was adamant it was her son’s fault.
OMG my husband would eat special food I made for a child, who was vegetarian. He eats meat and when asked what he wants for breakfast, he would choose bacon & eggs.
Unfortunately I can say I've dumped my emotional bagguage on me kids. I don't shame or put them down or control them. I love their individualality😊. Didn't realize I was doing this. Thank you so I can correct it. 🤍
Exactly...and where I came from....only 1 out of 3....although. she did abandon all of us, for a while. I just refused to be controlled from early on....and feel free to use your wildest imagination on how that went for me, most of my life....
Yes. But when l realized it l just walked away from her shaming. Write my story she said. But stuck in bitterness when pretending to forgive was not worth writing.
I had some stranger accuse me of something. When I stood up to him, he accused me of something else. I had never met this guy before. I was shocked. I knew then he was a narc
My mother's cigarettes were more important to her than her six children. Shopping for clothes and other things she wanted was the same. I've learned how to not hate her, though. Every bad thing she ever did strengthened me and made me more determined. The way I see it, that's not a bad thing. And she would say, sometimes we have to turn chicken 💩 into chicken salad.
This has helped me understand my Mom! Thank you for posting this!
Hmmm….🤔
There seems to be a lot of narcissistic mothers and fathers out there.
My thoughts exactly!
Both my parents were narcissists. I cut them off years before they died, but I still feel the effects of their parenting.
Totally true. Sounds exactly like my Dad. He abandoned me and left me on a sidewalk as I watched him drive away without me. I have never cried over his death. I only felt relief.
I am so sorry that happened. What a tool! Glad you were able to move on. It's not always easy to do.
Oh my goodness stop telling my childhood! This was so on point...My mother did all of this...
And they always blame us!!!
Same for me.
True! I am one of the discarded child.But now the i am an self appreciated adult with 3 beautiful adult children of my own ,We are God blessed and whole and healthy family! You can rise above a Narcissist Mother /Parents. God will see you through! Look from things above ,Thats where i found love.
Amen!
My nrc mother talks just like you the religious part of her narssisium is the seat of her mental illness that tells her ," it's between her God and Jesus...
@@lilihillis1449 The way i see, is our attitude is our out come. My mom prepared me for others who are like her in this world. We have a life to live full and abundantly. I refuse to live in bondage of my mothers sickness ,Gone on forward with life ,I will answer for my life come that day. and with that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. "Phil.4 :13
Thanks for the encouragement Angie there is hope of healing and you and your family are proof
Such an inspiration for us
Tfs 💙
@@Blood_bought1 With God all things are possible.🤍
As a former scapegoat within a family where Narcissism was the rule, I agree with this. My elder brother was the "golden child", and I the black sheep. I was the screen onto which my mother projected her lies and deception.
When I found out I couldn't have children my mother said if she were to do it over again she wouldn't have had any (4) children. Before I realized she was narcissistic I thought, does she realize who she is talking too? She definitely planned to keep her son enmeshed and 3 daughters from marrying anyone close to the quality man my Dad was! Jealous? Oh yes! I was told growing up that I was a 'mini me' of her. That made it more difficult as we aged. Especially when we were putting on our makeup sharing the (same only) bathroom mirror at the beach. I would get those how dare you 'be younger' looks from her. Daggers! It was only at the end when I realized my one sister to be a narcissistic sociopath that things started to make sense. And that knowledge continued to reveal my other sibs. I was the scapegoat. When I started healing I was no longer easy to manipulate, the smearing was brutal they alienated me from family weddings etc. I went no contact and it has been the happiest I've ever been! No drama to deal with, No head games to twist my world. I'm still working on it! Denial is so much more, less painful to believe those redeeming qualities you have hopefully attached to them, may someday manifest themselves for real! The truth is it's never about you, and ultimately, that is a good thing! There is much freedom in that knowledge to move on. You did nothing wrong, it's all about them, their issues, and a deep incurable insecurity that makes them selfish and hateful. The grooming was so subtle, I often would wonder,..they really didn't realize they were hurtful, did they? Without boundaries, Healthy Boundaries, knowing your deal breakers, you will continue to draw the manipulation of a narcissist. If you can't figure out what you want, but you are aware of what's important to everyone else, you've been groomed by a narcissist. Go to your mirror and start saying NO! It's the most powerful word we have, a complete sentence! Hear yourself say it, feel it! I started yelling it, it was so freeing and empowering! It is now my favorite word. 🥳 Deal with your codependency, wrestle with it until you win! Get online, find out who you are through the Color Code and Myer Briggs. Ask your (real) friends what qualifies they see in you. Make a list of your deal breakers and Never break your own boundaries! It can save your life! Certainly save many years wasted with the wrong person. Don't be complacent about your life by floating through it! You are created by GOD, HIS Fingerprints are all over you. GOD had a good idea, and created you to fulfill it! That makes you GOD'S Good idea! You have a purpose in this world so don't let anyone even imply you are less than Priceless!
Fabulous comment
They abandon you until they need something.
My dad was a narcissist,my mom died when I was three leaving six children with my dad and we ended up having six stepmothers we couldn’t cry about our moms death , he would punch my young brothers in the face when he caught them crying, they went to school with black eyes a lot , I was to little for beatings but I witnessed him beating my brothers all the time it was very traumatic, I could never understand neighbors knew, teachers knew and nobody ever tried to help us that part has bothered me all my life , my beatings started at fourteen and other abuses I saved my little stepsister,told her mother to get her out of here before he starts doing to her what he did to me I was getting older and learned to fight back, thankfully she did ,to this day I don’t trust anybody , but God 🙏🙏🙏✝️✝️✝️ I hate this world. To this day if someone try’s to SHAME ME I become enraged with anger , luckily it rarely happens any more, and I keep to myself ,for self protection.
Ii is my mum that's a narcissist, but I send you my love and a big hug I understand why you keep away from people I do the same thing I don't trust people I've been hurt and used to much,I only trust myself anyway good luck to you but I'm here if you want to talk
@@rachaelfreeman613 Thankyou Rachael that was sweet and kind of you “like can relate to like” I send you the same kindness if you ever need an ear I’m right here 💕✝️🙏😘
I understand how you feel. I don’t trust anyone but Jesus.
Emotional incest! Finally someone puts words to my experience. Actually, my mother acted like a rejected lover when I married, followed by rejection. Then she took the trouble to poison the rest of the family against me. Ah, well...
MIL would tell me( infront of her son & others) how wonderful it was that he met me.. But then call me to complain how unfair it was that she couldn't watch EWTN because he was spending all his money on me!! His wife..😳🤷
@@aking3624 I don't know what EWTN is. But, if he was paying that before for her, did he stop when he married you?
My mom was the same. No one in the family liked me because of my mom’s gossip.
Same here. I went no contact for my own self preservation.@@RapturereadyforJesus
@@hikeclimbsail and we don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to stay safe
When you have PTSD from a parent who raised you like this, you get little bits of these traits as well. However, the difference is, I recognize it, stop myself and apologize if necessary.
I hear ya,
This is best comment as its FM inform position .If you raised by narcs it will surface bsc they live in us but best integrate them to take a bk seat so I unlearn the damages.All the narc kids here pointing fingers but we all know we are the fruits of that tree..Thx for being human.lots of hugs
As one of five siblings raised by a narcissist father this is absolutely true.
Yup. 100%
Try both parents
Same, then it became my mom after he died.
Me too. Ended up with narcissist baby fathers who took my babies and alienated, mistreated them.
Boy, glad I ran across this short. It hit home big time.
@jimbrillon Thank you so much for your videos. Your videos are helping me just now in life about my parents, and I'll be 60 next year. Better late than never. May your life be immensely blessed for your kind heart and straightforwardness.
Thanks for your words. They mean a lot to me. All my best to you.
I can relate ... mother... it was hard and hurtful but
I'd rather feel compassion for her,
She has recently passed away 😪
I'm learning so much.
Thank you 😊 💓
@D L Malley I lost my mom recently too... I'm struggling with feeling like a bad person for finally feeling somewhat at peace...
It takes time to heal after a narc parent’s death. Be kind to yourself.
This is really sad but I've seen this happen. Prayers out to anyone going through this abuse. 💕🙏
He ruined our daughters lives. Saddest thing in my whole life.
Thanks for explaining how narcissists shame children, and dumping emotional baggage on them and how they abandon them. This has happened to me but as I have gotten older I recognize the narcissist behavior in my parent.
This is so painfully true. My poor brother was a casualty of my NPD mother's abuse
My brother also is narcissistic due to our upbringing. My sister is not as bad.
This just described my Mother to a tee including discarding her children
You described my father.
As a child of a Narcissist, I 100 % agree , with everything he just said.
Sad 😢 but , completely true . .
Perfect description of my late narcissist mother. I didn't even cry when she died.
I did not cry when both parents died. It was such a narc family. But I have forgiven and at peace.
@@RapturereadyforJesusNot easy living with Narcissists. I'm still working on the forgiveness portion. Getting close.
@@joycealdrich be kind to yourself. It takes time to heal and finally forgive.
@@RapturereadyforJesuswill do. At 67, I'm still working on it. I hope to get there.
@@joycealdrich you will!!!!!
you just described my whole life. with my narcissistic mother.
This describes my mother perfectly! From an early age I recall my family life centering around her. Lots of invalidation, emotional incest and shaming. She’s almost 94 and still has me doing her bidding.
you dont have to do anyones bidding. you can choose to leave her in an old folks home and go on living a better life
My mom did this with my brother and sister when she got older. Very dependent on them. She never bothered me. I was the scapegoat. I guess I had my place and role in the family. I did not attend her funeral. Not because I did not care about her. She was gone. I was not willing to deal with siblings in their denial.
My father regularly said, “I can disown you at any time” Seriously messed up man RIP narc daddy!!
What my siblings n I have learned to do is when our Mom starts taking over our conversation about someone she will turn it around n make it all about her, so at that point , we decide that the conversation is over n walk away.
That is exactly my mom, and I have four siblings. The youngest, 52, will argue for hours with her as the four of us know to just walk away from both of them. Sickening.
My mom hated me so bad as an adult she tried to poison me!
I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. All my best to you and your healing and recovery journey.
Thank you for sharing that, I have wondered if they would do that outright. I know of one doing it indirectly, with her grandson.
I have had an x poison me. Even a couple friends tried it. I am still alive and happier than them!
Absolutely nailed it!
True !!! My mom is miserable to me
My mom bounced from the keeping me small tactic to doing EVERYTHING for me. It was a way to endebt me ( "after all I have done, you owe me") or play the martyr. Since she passed, my world has incredibly opened up. I wished I had gone no contact sooner.
My dad was the one that kept us indebted. What a horrible way to go through life. No one can pay their parent back,
Mine too…I am the golden child and the scapegoat. You never know which one it’s going to be.
Wow you nail it everytime ..! And yes through any means..they use and control and abuse tell you you are whatever they don't like about themselves or what they are guilty of and try and take yours n play that roleshift... and you gotta be a saint.while they are actually criminal...and be perfect...and if you are not screwing up..they will create sumpthing you did wrong up...to keep you questioning your own feelings of right and wrong ..good or bad .etc..
I end up tearing up every time I come across one of these shorts.
I am sorry😢
Abandoned by a narcissistic mother. When I asked her why, she told me that she wished I was never born and that I was interfering with her fun. Totally relate to this post.
Holy crap - you just described my Dad to a tee! 🙏
I was raised by a family system of narcs. It was horrible.
I am truly learning a lot from your videos. I am in the middle of a divorce with my narcissistic husband. He discarded and abandoned (19 years of marriage) our 3 children (15, 12, 8) and myself. He moved far away with his new supply that he was seeing behind our backs. He was talking to our daughter about his new supply during our divorce. It's terrible. Thanks again for your videos.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Yup, My mother's narcissist and I haven't talk to her in 10 years.
JIM ALL IS ON POINT. I WITNESSED THIS IN MY FAMILY WITH MY NEICE, BUT THEY ALL APPEARS TO BE IN THE BEGINNING STAGE OF THIS PERSONALITY DISORDER. YESSS MY NEICE ABANDONED ALL THREE GIRLS I RAISED THEM BUT SHE CAME BACK IN THEIR LIVES TO DESTROY ALL THAT WAS TAUGHT TO THEM MANNERS RESPECT LOVE ALL GONE WHEN SHE GOT CUSTODY. HER AIM WAS TO UNDO HOW I BROUGHT THEM UP. NOW THE CHILDREN ARE IN MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS. I CRY A LOT BECAUSE OF THIS INSANITY THEY'RE GOING THROUGH. THEY BELIEVE SHE HATES THEM. IT TRULY BAD, A GREAT GREAT GREAT AUNT WHO RAISED THESE CHILDREN FROM BIRTH 17 YRS. THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO.
Lol scrolling through UA-cam and he describes my childhood
I'll never forget the day my mother told me to never ever sing as I was tone deaf. I was 6 yrs old. To this day, I could never sing in church or karaoke
I was the middle child, the only girl. The scars from narcissistic abuse are still a part of me at 58. I was the scapegoat
My mom favored my oldest brother over myself and my youngest brother. I did my best to protect my youngest brother.
Oh my gosh! You just described my mother when I was growing up. 😬
My mother offered to kill me twice, like a" favor", I confronted her last year,she said I was such a handful, so I said,so if a child of yours is more then you can handle you have the right to murder them? She said...yes...I said goodbye and haven't look.back...I'm 65...and finally free!
My mom threatened to kill me. So did my sister. Broke my heart.
My mom beat me up when I was in my first year of college. I called my friend to pick me up and my mom ripped the phone out of the jack. I was not sure my friend got the message that I needed her to come rescue me. I ran outside and waited. She came, and when my mom saw me about to leave, she came out of the door with a rosary, held up the cross and said, "I wish death upon YOU!!" Her voice was guttural and hoarse, like she was possessed. My friend heard my mother's every word. Till the day she died, she denied ever saying it (typical gas lighting). I wished I had never gone back to that family. It only hurt me.
Narcissistic parents will have you acting like an adult when you are a small child. At 4 years old I had to stay home and babysit my infant sister. Then when you actually become an adult they treat you like a child. My parents want to control every aspect of my life, decisions, and money and I’m 35 years old.
At 12yo I saw My mother discard my oldest sister, 22, be discarded bc she became pregnant. Taught Can't trust Mom when u have a problem.I, scapegoat was discarded daily.
Yep…when I moved out of state I was basically “betraying “ her. She will never forgive me…but neither will she admit that. So I am abandoned and gaslit.
My mom is letting me starve while asking me to buy thanksgiving dinner (on my Foodshare), even though she knows the card was empty at the beginning of the month after buying her groceries a day before I left to go home. She totally upended my house while I was doing rotations between a few clinics and a hospital, sabotaging my second degree. She wants a yes women and a mini me, for me to come and keep her company to feed her narcissism, and she causes me such anxiety, while she hovers, that my disability becomes worse due to exhausting myself.
She takes no responsibility for anything, like deciding to come into my home when I was away and unable to come home, she won’t take responsibility for doing that or that for me as someone with a physical disability following a brain injury from a viral infection (on top of far too many concussions.) She lets herself off the hook and goes with “it’s your problem, now!”
After I was brutally raped, I was send back to uni days after telling my parents that I was quitting to get my head together, to prevent my grades from tanking. They forced me in the car and dropped me at the dorm. A year later, I moved to the East Coast and left my family. If it wasn’t for my great grandmother, I wouldn’t have returned. Now, I am just existing and catering to my mom. My dad died and now I need to step into his shoes.
Narcissistic parents cannibalize their children.
If I were you I would leave leave her let her fend for herself I know she's your mother but still. My ex is a passive aggressive covert narc. It is awful some of the things he says to my daughter she is a daddy's girl and she loves him she's now in therapy. I suggest you try therapy as well good luck God bless and be a peace.
put her in a home and change your locks and tell your household she is not welcome in your house anymore. enough is enough. stop her from ruining your kids if you have any. its up to u to get rid of that abuse. im so sorry she did all this to you. you are strong and you can have a better life. God bless you✝️💞💕💖
Thank you both. I have changed my locks and have the only keys. I did that as soon as I returned form clinicals, now I have to sort everything and I do mean EVERYTHING and put things in their homes. I plan to just get rid of most of it. I am too damn tired to fix it. This is the day before thanksgiving and I am going to show up for dinner, I didn’t do what I normally do, which is to show up early and help.
I do need to dog sit for my bro, while he takes her to a doctor appointment 5 hours away, which will be at her house, but then I can leave. I won’t be stuck there for weeks, walking on eggshells. Although, I know I will get berated and guilted for not helping prepare dinner. She can’t berate everyone and my brother is the golden child and not expected to cook, so I take it for all three of us. She knows I am the one it will hurt, the others don’t care.
I am in a bad spot of becoming disabled at 35, following a virus, and need my mom to help. It used to be my dad helping me financially, as he was the one who made all the money, now he is gone and she keeps me on a tight leash.
She did text me to go buy the turkey and I said I couldn’t. She spent my Foodshare the first week of the month, so no turkey. Hell, I’ve been eating jam sandwiches and water…I can’t afford to buy a turkey.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading and responding. I feel completely alone.
@@___LC___ oh man. there are some things i wanna say right now that are harsh. i mean, shes the matriarch, why isnt she cooking?🤣 or like "im disabled mom, remember?" im just so sorry your life is like this. i do hope there will be a big change soon for you. i know my other comment to you did not reflect it at all, but i rely strongly on the Lord. knowing that this life is short compared to the eternal joy of heaven when i pass....maybe i can nudge you to give Him a chance? you are in my thots, my heart goes out to you, you are beautiful!
i really do hope that no matter how life goes for you, that you will find peace and rest and joy. for me, that will be in heaven and probably only then. happy thanksgiving!!!✝️💖💕💓
She may have given birth to you but that does not mean she has the right to treat you this way. You have the right to disengage from her- to protect yourself. Someone has to be the adult- see the situation and the detriment to your own health and life it is and disengage. If she won’t be the adult then you need to step up and be the adult. The old excuse of “he/she’s your father/mother” is only applicable when they have choosing to act like a parent. Your mother has chosen to act like a jealous acquaintance stealing everything including your soul from you. Be the adult and save yourself and disengage. I had to ‘grow up’ and disengage for my mental health preservation and self respect. The abuser had no interest in doing it and has no respect for me never has and never will.
Thank you for helping me understand this heal.. ❤️❤️
My mom literally ruined my life with this 😅
JIM, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO HAVE CREATED SO MANY PROBLEMS IN MY ENTIRE FAMILY LIFE. SHE DID SOOO MUCH TO DESTROY THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN SHE NEVER WANTED. I WISH I HAD UNDERSTOOD MANY YEARS AGO WHAT I KNOW NOW. I RAISED MY NEICE SHE LEFT THE CHILDREN RETURNED WITH HURTING THEM TO HURT ME AND SHE WON I AM HURT FOR LIFE LOOKING AT THE MENTAL STATE THE CHILDREN ARE IN AND NOW I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT HER ANY MORE. HER ANGER WAS BECAUSE THE CHILDREN HAD A BEAUTIFUL NURTURED LIFE. SO TO HURT ME THE TARGET WAS THESE WELL BEHAVED STUDEIOUS VERY INTELLIGENT CHILDREN. NOW THEY'RE ACTING LIKE HER. THANKS FOR EDUCATING US ALL. BLESSINGS
Definitely & always
Sadly watching this happen. Narc ex goes for a mixture of abandoning and shaming the kids. It's a pity to see them just trying to be loved by their mom and being rejected over and over.
Extremely so. SAD but true.
Thank you for reaching us all for free
This is both my parents. I had no childhood and on top my sister is disabled. So I had absolutely no childhood
You just met my mother, unfortunately.
Wow, You just described my mother.
So sad, but so true!
You just described my daughter. I’m learning how to deal with my adult daughter’s narcissistic personality. Her children, her family and I suffer from her behaviors. We love her for who she is, but we don’t like her ways.
if your daughter is a narcissist you probably are too, it passes on
@@ajrwilde14 or someone else in the family.
My kids father is a narcissist he discarded our son . He was so jealous of him . I think because he’s mom treated him bad. My grandma treated me bad but I treat my kids the way I wanted to be treated. I let them know there loved.
My mother abandoned me when I was 17 years old. She simply moved to another city to be with my older sister. I was 17 and still in school. She saw nothing wrong with this.
That’s horrible! My mom abandon me and my sister who were living at home at age 21 & 22, my sister wasn’t working as a single parent with a 1 year old baby, she just moved away and we were homeless with no time to find a place to live, she thought nothing of it
As a kid I was given goodwill clothes rather than new school clothes and can count on my hand a few times I ever got new clothes. When I did get new clothes I was guilt tripped that she never got nice things. I was left alone and isolated while she worked. When home she spent time with her new husband and rarely me. When I was grown she was only nice when I was buying things for her. She called me fat ugly and stupid as a child and I was skinny. I failed in school and never got any encouragement to do good. She took me out of school early and said she was homeschooling me but didn’t and gave me a book to study at that point for 10 years I worked hard to get a ged with an 8th grade education. She was jealous when I got into any relationship and would sabotage it. Now I have a diagnosis from a psychologist that I have cptsd and since that diagnosis, I’ve noticed bpd like symptoms which I know I meet 9 symptoms of.
My ex to a “T” - he was diagnosed with ALS - took it to a whole new level with our only son - now they are both gone d/t his demands and control - always treated my son as if he were an appendage of himself 💔😭
Yea. Narc mom. This is she. Her whole life, she has stuffed her face, her closet, her jewelry box and her house. Her only value for anyone else, is how that person benefits her end goals.
Yep. Bad draw to get a narcissistic mother. Glad we reincarnate. 🎉
From what I've read alot about we reincarnate and choose our parents & path and we keep living different lives with the same people. Of course nobody knows for sure but I hope not, cause I can't stand the thought of my mother AGAIN
man is appointed to live once, and after, the judgement. one life, sorry guys
I'm interested, in where you got this knowledge and confirmation. I know there's more people worldwide who believe in reincarnation than the punishment/reward of heaven & hell.
@@Terra1971 is this comment meant for me? i know i wasnt tagged, just curious
It’s been one year since I talked to my mom! Never been better!
That's sad, kids first.
my stepdad was an abusive Narcissist and cut him off my life completely.
I was a discarded child and now have two children who have dealt all their lives with narcissist fathers. They stole them from me and mistreated them. Still mistreating them and I have suffered so much lost of their childhood. Never again will engage with males like this. Punishment was being a female in the eyes of my parents. They will not see my children as family or human beings worthy of love and acceptance. 😪
My two diganosed ex narcs did everything for their kids. Buying stuff over protective. Sleeping in one bed. everything to feel loved by something. Sickening.
My narc mom didn t give a thing.
So they have two methods. 😂😂😂
I have a good story for you. I was watching my daughter a.k.a. the narcissist dog while she was out of town and it bit me. Not like bite but attack drawing blood the whole works. I called her and told her what happened and she blamed it on my grandson! She said it’s his fault! I was shocked! I said he has nothing to do with this he wasn’t near him, but she was adamant it was her son’s fault.
My ex used to eat my kids packed lunches! Had to make them in the morning😂
OMG my husband would eat special food I made for a child, who was vegetarian. He eats meat and when asked what he wants for breakfast, he would choose bacon & eggs.
my pig of an ex would eat my special foods too, after i went to bed. or the kids' food, like cheesecake from the restaurant. what a glutton
@@gorunsko31 yes , same. Even food he claimed was disgusting (my daughters gluten free stuff!) hope yr free of him!
@@macshaw9426 truly selfish, goes against what you’d think are natural instincts!
Narcs use other humans' energy and life force in order to survive.
This is my mother 100%
I know someone like this
Yup
🎯🎯🎯 that sums it up
Yes yes I've seen it all before that's the truth it's sad that it's true
My father always favored girls and only until age 3-4. Then it was GAME ON in the Gauntlet.
Yes… this was how my mom was…
Unfortunately I can say I've dumped my emotional bagguage on me kids. I don't shame or put them down or control them. I love their individualality😊. Didn't realize I was doing this. Thank you so I can correct it. 🤍
TRUTH.
Out of four kids I am the one that looks exactly like my father's crazy mom. I was definitely his toxic dumpsite on that.
Why isn’t narcissism categorized as a psychosis, instead of a Cluster B afterthought? The do much harm and damage.
I knew it So glad I subscribed
Yes, I lived in my mother's vomitus for years. Nevermore...
Exactly...and where I came from....only 1 out of 3....although. she did abandon all of us, for a while. I just refused to be controlled from early on....and feel free to use your wildest imagination on how that went for me, most of my life....
OMG yes that was my mother...
He meant to use old Donnie to illustrate his talk
Good gracious that’s my dad’s name and he discarded me!
Sadly this is my youngest son and his mother. I’ve tried everything I can to pull him from it but he escapes for a few months and then he’s back.
Thank you
Yes. But when l realized it l just walked away from her shaming. Write my story she said. But stuck in bitterness when pretending to forgive was not worth writing.
hello to Katt! they describe you perfectly!
Sooo true!!!! Parent is hypercritical
Sounds like the story behind David Cassidy and his jealous dad Jack.
My narcissistic dad used to accuse me of doings things I had not done, or even thought of doing. And, before he died, he did abandon me.
I had some stranger accuse me of something. When I stood up to him, he accused me of something else. I had never met this guy before. I was shocked. I knew then he was a narc
@@RapturereadyforJesus Wow!
@@brendaleverick3655 narcs are everywhere now!
@@RapturereadyforJesus It does look like it.
yup!
Yeah I can’t believe my parents. My mom mostly because my dad is loyal to her
My mother's cigarettes were more important to her than her six children. Shopping for clothes and other things she wanted was the same. I've learned how to not hate her, though. Every bad thing she ever did strengthened me and made me more determined. The way I see it, that's not a bad thing. And she would say, sometimes we have to turn chicken 💩 into chicken salad.
My moms bingo 7 nights a week were more important to her than us going to bed on time for school and not having enough money for things we needed
Wow!