Things Not To Say To Someone With An Eating Disorder
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
- 'What does someone with an eating disorder look like?'
'So you hate food then?'
'Just eat a banana.'
'You're just attention seeking.'
People with eating disorders regularly deal with comments like these and more besides - here's what they think about it all.
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When you lose weight and everyone says you look better
👁👄👁
💧
gloryuh to an extent it makes u feel proud , like damn I DID THAT. but then again it pushes you to continue trying to loose more weight
Or you tell someone what u ate bc you think it was so little and they say good 😭
In the time of a year I went from a size 8 to a size 2 and the amount of my families members that walked up to me and told me I looked good was terrible
OMG YEAH I used to be really fat and then I lost 17kg then people say wow u are so beautiful now I’m like so I was ugly when I was fat..
Moood
“wow, somebody’s hungry” when you actually finish a meal
Or, "you'll fade away" from the same bloody people when you don't finish the meal... it's like a freaking pendulum.
Kendall Tidwell when someone tells me that it makes me feel like such a pig
@@klunk4683 ikr
@Slytherin Wolfie omg same!!!!
OMG I HATE THAT ONE.
"Youre already skinny, and youre making the rest of us feel bad."
damn, i was overwieght before my eating disorder and my family woul buy me clothes that where to small, my dad trying to make me feel better said "he just thinks your skinnier than u think you are" like wow okay thanks dad.
This is why I just don't comment on people's appearances any more, unless it's something they've chosen to do that I like and want to compliment e.g. a new haircut, or cool clothes. We have such a fucked up relationship with body weight that you never how triggering what you say could be to someone
a friend who we thought had an ed said that to me i-
"You're making the rest of us feel bad!" Yeah, imagine LIVING WITH IT, BUD.
That’s a compliment to me
my mom was looking through pictures of me when I had an eating disorder, and she said "Wow, you looked so much thinner here!"
I told her I was anorexic and "didn't eat much" during that time and she said: "You were going through a phase, so I just let you go."
you have no idea how much that hurt
Misty Forests wow that’s horrible. i’m so sorry :(
What a horrible thing to say. To neglect you like that..
My mom deadass said the same thing to me
Misty Forests 🌳
Oh yes, I do.
I really do.
I’m sorry to hear that.
My family is still the same way towards me. It's a really awful feeling and just makes you feel even worse.
When in recovery.. “Wow! you’ve gained so much weight now.”
Yeah, same!!!! „You‘ve gained, huh?“
omg I hate this so much. This happens to me all the time. "BUT I WAS A STICK YOU IDIOT!!!" that's always my answer lol
I was the opposite; part of my recovery was loosing weight but can’t tell how many times I heard “you’re loosing weight, you’re so pretty NOW.” The mental backflips were real when I gained even a pound back, thanks for the sensitivity people 👍🏽🙄.
This
"Wow, you've gained weight!"
Thanks! -relapse-
"You eat a lot and you don't even gain weight, HOW LUCKY!"
A friend told me this while i was on a binge after restricting for weeks
;; lo᥉t iᥒ the dreᥲ꧑ I‘m so sorry for you
;; its liᥲ so sorry to hear that😔💔 i hope you’re doing better
I don't have a eating disorder (not even close) but I am underweight and no matter how much I try I can't gain weight. Any tips lol. (please don't be offended)
@@missquirky7064 hi honey, well it's kinda triggering that you ask this to me lol and the only way i know how to gain weight is binging wHICH IS NOT HEALTHY AT ALL :(
But I think you can gain weight eating healthy high-calorie foods and increasing your calorie intake + gym 💞
Btw good luck babe
@@L0VERPOEM OH I'm so sorry! Anyways thank you for you for the tips!
" You actually gain weight if you try to starve yourself" cannot tell you how many times I've heard that. So irritating lol
@@gali5505 idk never happened to me
galilea it’s only if it’s a severity that can reach the extreme. And even then, you don’t loose weight. Your stomach expands from not enough food.
galilea tell that to people in concentration camps
@@MedusaThrived sad to hear. I Know how it is...... I was 11 to when I began restriction and ended op at a bmi under 14 😬
I am 14 years old to but sometimes I end op restriction again.
I am better but it's hard when your parents doesn't care......
Good luck in the future hope you get better (happy)
oh my god my mom used to repeat that to me i was a freaking kid that really happen to others too?
My boyfriend used to say, "Boy you were hungry" everytime I finished everything on my plate. It would make me feel so guilty for eating. I'm happy I talked to him about it.
Ann H im so sorry you had to hear that.. wishing you the best for recovery
my mom does that all the time. I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad weight bc she doesn’t know about my ed but it still hurts so much.
I'd reply "Boy you skipped level 1 biology".
I'd also dump him afterwards, but that's just me. That's toxic behaviour, and I don't even have an eating disorder.
I can't imagine what someone with an ed would feel after hearing utter stupidity. 😑
Hey I'm sry to anyone who had to go thru that. It is not fun thing to hear when u already have a bad relationship with food.
I wanna say tho I think humans have a thing. I don't know what that thing is and why it happens. But sometimes when they are in a bad mood or just neutral mood and they see someone eating fast or loud or just normally even...it creates a sort of icky feeling. I can't explain it. And I don't know if that's only me. But I have felt it before while watching someone eat but I try not to say anything unsupportive as I wouldn like it if somebody said that to me duh. Whenever I get that feeling I just literally bully myself in the head like "yo what's ur problem this person just enjoying their meal" and the feeling goes away.
@@liara_luthi7587 I’m so sorry the culture we live in teaches such toxic mentality’s please take care and please seek help as soon as you can. I’m sending so muvh love you matter and your happiness matters
I hate hearing “you don’t eat enough” like... I know I don’t eat enough, that’s the whole point I can’t eat anymore!!
or the "but the food is so good!" like yeah, it may be good, but i still don't want to eat it Karen.
There's no end. I can eat 3000 a day and my mum says eat more...
@@helenereber1969 me tooooooo
OkThenKaty I always get, "you just need to eat it" or "you never know if you like it if you don't try it"
@@helenereber1969 the fact that you counted the calories might be the reason that she still worries about you.
"You don't look like you have an eating disorder" Is one of the most triggering things you can say to someone who is suffering. It can make them invalidate their illness and keep pushing until they're 'thin enough to have an eating disorder'. By that point, a lot of physical damage is done and recovery gets father away.
Sorry for the rant, I just felt like that was important to note.
That's very sad. But an eating disorder is a mental issue and therefore it is not important how much a person weighs since the problem is in their mind. You can be on a normal weight but have anorexia, that is not uncommon in anorexic people. The same with people who are naturally very skinny. It doesnt automatically mean that they have anorexia only because they have a low body weight.
Usually uneducated people think this way but professionals should know that it's not about the number on the scale.
My friend who had a binge eating disorder was told she was "overweight and therefore not suitable for treatment" by her doctor 😑😑😑😑
Yes. Yes. Yes. Every body that is put into starvation mode will react differently. The only time during the entire course of my eating disorder when I actually lost weight is when I had a virus for 3 months. I have gained more weight from disordered eating than from eating properly.
Ikr I have social anxiety and everyone says that
***me with binge eating disorder triggered***
"Oh mY gOD yOURe acTUally eatInG?" Well not anymore.
*My cousin: * touches my waist * "WOW! You're so thin"*
That somehow motivated me to continue starving so NEVER tell this to someone who struggles with an eating disorder.
this is so true, much as I loved when people commented on how skinny I was it fueled my eating disorder more.
how can I talk to my friend about her ed without motivating her to continue or discouraging her from getting better??
@@ma0487 Tell her everything she's missing just to have a perfect body (which is unreal and it won't make you happy)
She will miss lots of memories because she will be too focused on her intake/body image.
She deserves to enjoy a full life
why did you starve yourself after that
@@aidanLVbeats because it can be a lack of satisfaction, kind of like striving for more constantly. You just want more and can't be satisfied.
The most annoying statments:
"You dont look as sick as some anorexics,"
*eats a small breakfast* --- "oh so are u healthy now"
"NO karen im not and yes i do eat, because if i didnt i would be dead right now"
I know a lot of Karen’s
@@user-ds3ow7cy6m but did they take the kids?
Y E S
P R E A C H
People who think anorexics just consume air are dumb. You have to eat enough to live, duh
Victoria Penn Karen’s passing by
"should you be eating that?"
"are you gonna run now?"
"more???"
"you havent eaten? Dont be stupid."
"You can't just eat everything."
"why arent you eating anything?"
All things ive heard, thoughtless words out of mt mothers mouth that make me miserable.
and the worst is when someone tells you " order some resturants then eat a lot of meals " like lmfao i'll puke my guts out if i do that
“Did you go in the bathroom to purge again?”
“OMG you didn’t throw up did you?” 🙄😒
“You’ve gained weight...”
“You should eat more.”
“You should workout more instead of doing that.”
“Maybe if you tried...(dieting, running, etc).”
“Stop being so lazy and go run, maybe you wouldn’t complain about your weight or body.”
“You ate only a banan today?! That’s not good, you should eat more.”
“That’s unhealthy” lmAO okay I already know that stfu
I've literally had people give me THAT LOOK, and try to take food from me while telling me " maybe you should stop eating. You've eaten a bit much don't you think?"
"JuSt StOp StArViNg YoUrSeLf" Is something I hear all the time
“If you think you’re fat, then what am I”
Urm hun it’s not about you ...
The whole way through my ED I thought larger women were absolutely completely stunning... that did not stop the irrationality of me needing to fade away and thinking I was huge when I wasn’t
Georgie Roberts I used to do this trying to make people feel better. But then (I’m still fat but not as much) someone who is bigger told me that and that even pushed me more to not eat.
Also for loads of people (including me) it’s less about your actual size than it is about needing to gain control in your life
@@aestheticallycold247 definitely!! Mine was mainly about control too hun xx
PLS i wanna tell them 'i think you're obese' SO BAD JUST TO SEE THEIR REACTIONS 😭😭
@@str4wberrymachine lmaoo exactly like this ain’t about you but if you really wanna make it about you then game on 😂😂
“Don’t you have an eating disorder?” Whenever I say I’m hungry or whenever I wanna eat for once
"why does grocery shopping take you so damn long?"
I always wanted to answer to that with “well, having multiple panic attacks takes time, you know?”
Ah, yes. The calculator is my friend
YES, I HATE THAT! And "You are taking too long to order", especially because when I started recovering I was always trying to identify if I was choosing something because I actually wanted it or because it was my anorexia choosing something safe to eat
Jesus christ, my fiance says this to me all the time, it just gets me more anxious.
Ouch this one hit me hard
Everything mental health related shoul not come in contact with the word "just". "It's JUST in your head" "JUST get up" "JUST do that thing" ec. NOTHING mental health related is JUST something.
the sad thing is that most people with mental health issues lack emotional intelligence , which scientists think is coming from self security of the brain. many mental health issues could be changed by the perosn it self if it would be able to change their perspective on deep things in their life which caused these illnesses . but these people cant do it , theyre not able to change their perspective on their own . its a missery in many cases
Victoria You should just shut up cause that was a blanket statement.
@@jcdenton5828 ok, cool. And why can't you say it without saying "shut up"?
@@kizzsir5632 hey guys, we got a qualified psychologist over here 🙄 did you use your "emotional intelligence" to write this, or just your standard ignorance?
It’s like saying “it’s just cancer. Just get over it.”
“eating disorders are not donald trump they do not discriminate” IM CRYINGGGGG
Why is no one talking about this 😂😂
It was hilarious
😄thanks
i loved that line
PLS
i hate it when people say you’re not thin enough to have an eating disorder or i don’t look like i have an eating disorder. honestly it makes me want to go even harder just to prove myself and be validated
Yeah I've had this with other mental illnesses, but much less serious. Ur not the only one.
This, this so hard.
"If I were to make something up, it'd definitely be better than anorexia."
That hit home. Like yeah, haha, I'd rather write another book. Not nearly starve myself to death.
An Acquired Taste did you write a book?
@@happyhorse1028 ya, 2 of 'em
An Acquired Taste how did you get your books published?? I have written a book about my son, but I am having a hard time getting it published. Any ideas and hints would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 💖😃
@@happyhorse1028 like any product, a book needs an audience. This audience is usually one you have to grow yourself, online, these days.
You will benefit from a literary agent.
Also, just writing a book is not enough. You also have to edit it throughoutly, take it through the beta reader/critique partner process and still hire a professional editor to polish it off.
There's 2 types of publishing. Self-publishing and being published by an agency. Boons to both. If a self-published book does really well, publishing houses are likely to try and pick it up.
Never pay a publisher to get published. It's a scam.
Learn some marketing skills.
Yeah, that's the crash course.
An Acquired Taste thank you. Lol 😂 I have already been scammed by not one, but two vanity publishers within a couple of days. I didn’t realise that I had been scammed until after I received the contract. IIt didn’t cost me anything in dollars, but It was a huge blow to my echo. I am more careful about who I send my manuscript to now. Do you mind me asking if you self published or went through an agent and publisher? Also could you please tell me the names of your books and where I can find them. Thank you for all your help.
I was talking to someone I really trusted and I finally opened up about my eating disorder and he just said, “if you had an eating disorder you wouldn’t be so..... big.”
I just hung up the phone. I was upset and that triggered me for a few weeks. I finally explained what an eating disorder was and how it worked and they didn’t even care. Please educate yourself people
Little body big heart that’s disgusting, what he said. I hope you’re in a better place right now❤️
Little body big heart Wow. That person is ASS. I hope you’re doing better. I’m here with you❤️
i hope they get educated smh
That's awful :( I've had a similar run in, I told my ex and they were like "no you don't, since when???" And I told my mom and she said "when did you have one? You're healthy???" I told my bf a couple weeks back and he just doesn't say anything. Idk if its because he doesn't wanna deal with it, doesn't believe it, doesn't understand, or doesn't know what to say, or he's overwhelmed. The hard part is going through 20 mood swings everyday wondering which one it is lmfao. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with that person, that is just God awful. I woulda decked him for you 😤😤😤😤
“You can’t having an eating disorder, I’ve seen you eat”
“Ugh I haven’t eaten all day, I feel anorexic”
“Over eating and emotional eating aren’t an illness just push yourself away from the table”
“Have you tried dieting?”
“You could just stop eating for awhile”
I have a relative that I have actually never met, who has anorexia. Her family tried so hard to help her, but she just wouldn't eat. Now she's in a clinic 300 miles from home.
Eating disorders are very real, and that people think that they're just "attention seeking" is really upsetting.
when I opened up about my disordered eating past someone said "oh that's not that low, that's not anorexia weight" Sorry that my unhealthiest period does not qualify as "enough" in your book??? Honestly 😒😒
That's very sad. But an eating disorder is a mental issue and therefore it is not important how much a person weighs since the problem is in their mind. You can be on a normal weight but have anorexia, that is not uncommon in anorexic people. The same with people who are naturally very skinny. It doesnt automatically mean that they have anorexia only because they have a low body weight.
Usually uneducated people think this way but professionals should know that it's not about the number on the scale.
I wanted the girl in the turtle neck to sing some more. 4:53 🤓
Same tbh
Me too!
I FOUNT YOU AGAIN. YOUR LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.
Pinkcathannah ! OMG SHE LITERALLY IS LMAOO
Me too🎤😁
someone told my sister she didnt look like she had an eating disorder (after like a month of refeeding in hospital) and she cried for a week. also a nurse sid she looked so much healthier and she cried herself to sleep that night
I know I'm extremely late but I don't understand how telling someone they look healthier is a bad thing? Isn't that celebrating the success of the recovery?
Connes in an eating disordered mind , it usually connotates with fat or thicker. i know for me my anorexia was very hard to let go of , because it felt like it manifested itself into my personality. so hearing someone say “you look healthier” felt like you look fatter or you look good now that anorexia isn’t in control anymore. i know it sounds crazy , but anorexia is an extremely difficult thing to explain if you’ve never had it. but basically what i am trying to say is, anorexia feels like an abusive boyfriend , i know it’s bad for me , but without i feel lost or not good enough. it’s like having all these memories of it , but you shouldn’t go back to engage with those behaviors anymore.
Healthy = not skin and bones = fat
@@spacemermaid3667 such a good way too explain it thanks now I get it
“I wish I had a body like yours”
Me: what? Spit out blood cause bulimia tore up my throat? Or when I had anorexia and then gain weight by changing meds and having a mental breakdown? Na mate, keep your body you don’t want mine
“just eat intuitively” i don’t remember how
Teddy The Bear or I don’t WANT to. I know when I’m hungry and would rather drink coffee, water or protein shakes to replace my meals.
That hit hard
Mood
As a doctor, I'll admit I vastly underestimated the severity and impact of eating disorders before I started treating them as a psychiatry doctor. I just wish there was less fragmentation between services and more funding so eating disorder teams don't have to say no to helping so many people.
It's so refreshing to hear a doctor say that they were wrong about something and worked to fix it!
My step dad said "you're eating already??" when i was reheating a slice of pizza, after I had just gotten home from work... I hadn't eaten anything in 24 hours and felt it was okay for me to eat something. Little did he know I only eat the cheese and toppings on a pizza, and ended up puking it up later because I couldn't take the thought of actually having "bad" food being in my body. I thought about that for two days straight.
Damn that's awful! I hope you're much better!
when I was in recovery, my mum hugged me and said “there’s more of you to hug now” it really shattered my heart, I relapsed and I’m still failing to recover.
When I was in middle school, one time my friends mom picked me up from school, she kept complimenting me on how skinny I was (I was 78lbs at the time) she asked how I got so skinny and I told her it was because I was on Adderall for my ADHD, and it had some side affects such as loss of appetite, insomnia, sometimes anxiety, ect. And she just replied with "wow it looks like it works well for weight tho, think I'm going to try it out"
yo what the fUC K
What the f~..?
Jfc
When I first became physically disabled, I was struggling to walk and hold myself up so much and was bed bound because of this. I couldn't physically prepare a meal, I needed carers to do that, but I didn't get a response from social services for quite a while and in that time I often went weeks without food and consequently shedding stones like it was going out of fashion.
I got so. Many. Compliments. After a while I just smiled and replied "Thanks! I'm malnourished!"
Damn
An eating disorder can be very destructive, both physically and emotionally, and people can get trapped into a destructive cycle without knowing how to cope with it.
It is not just about food and weight, but also about a person’s sense of who they are.
Rudolf de Lang i saw a psychology article that talked about how "it's rarely ever about food" and that's very important. A person with an eating disorder can be made to eat, but if the underlying problems are still there...well :/
@@N3ONLUV just eat more
How do you mean? It’s about a person’s sense of who they are?
Charlotte anytime I go to meeting, the counselors target self hate, and anger. As I address these other issues, my eating habits have gotten healthier.
Rudolf de Lang THIS is something that ppl don’t understand
The best one I’ve had is “if you put the chips in a bowl instead of taking the whole bag you won’t binge” XD
“You’re not skinny enough to have anorexia” is SUPER triggering
I went to my grandma's funeral when I was at my worst. The aunt I see only once ever several years walks up to me and shakes her head in disapproval and says "No, that's not cute. You're way to skinny. You go to far. It's not attractive".
At that same funeral, the brother I've only seen 3 times in my life walked up and kept asking me what my workout and diet secrets were because I looked "great". He wouldn't drop it.
SMH. That was an interesting day for me and my ED to say the least.
I hope you're okay now❤
U can never win realy...i dont even have an eating disorder just naturally skinny, and its the same for me .sometimes nasty comments and sometimes compliments
@@lea5608 thank you girlie! I have been in full recovery for 3 years. I never thought that would happen but I am so happy I put in the work! Thank You!
@Marcus Motamedi you're a troll. Keep up the good work trollin homie.
@@TheTjoy910 you're welcome:) I've had a eating disorder, too, but gladly it didn't go as far as a clinic or sth like that. I managed to get away from it myself. I'm proud of you!
Should have included the eating disorders that are on the other part of the spectrum as well. Not just not-eating, but eating too much.
That’s bulimia..They we’re talking about it..
@@ceeshirt9730 no theres also binge eating disorder💗
carrieanne Sweeney Oh right
@@carrieannesweeney7788 They briefly mentioned, I think
Unfortunately, they couldnt fit anyone with a binge eating disorder in the building before the shoot. True story!! I was there D,: D,:
"Please eat something it's not that hard"
"What are you eating?"
"Are you the one who ate the last one?"
WHAT ARE YOU EATING OMG THAT ONE JUST NO DON'T ASK
RainbowAndre Right?! And people wonder why it pisses me off! They ask me that every single day 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
literally my mom asks me these things every second and it’s like if i say i don’t wanna eat then i don’t wanna eat please leave me tf alone 😀
I love how you included men too! So many people think that it's just women. We never talk about men having EDs.
(Currently in recovery for anorexia rn bc my family would kill me if they knew.)
Good luck friend 🖤 take care
I love the dudes comment about his periods..
Where?
Nirvana,Green Day,Ramones fan 3:09
@@Whatevadantewante he's not
@@Whatevadantewante no bc then it would have started. i think he's saying that people stereotype that only females have eating disorders.
@@Whatevadantewante he's saying that a lot of the time one of the symptoms that come up is that ur period will stop and bcoz they never talk about male-specific symptoms
Another classic for me is getting skinny-shamed becasue people think it'll make me want to recover... It just fuels the eating disorder and hurts my feelings lol
My grandmother told me that i look horrible and that last summer i always was the prettiest wherever i went while the current me looks disgusting.
YES! Skinny shaming was one of the things that kick-started my ed.
what should I say to my friend? I was told not to tell her she looks good as it can motivate her to continue but I don't want to body shame her? I love her so much and dont want her to lose trust in me as someone she can talk to about it
so I did it i’m in the same position as you, what did you say to her and how is she now? Help me please I don’t wanna make it worse but idk what to make it better ether
I see a lot of people in this comment section who have/had an eating disorder, and to you I say have an amazing day, and if you're still trying to recover, I hope you get well soon💜
Why is everyone talking about being anorexic and bulimia like there's other eating disorders like binge eating compulsive overeating like that's a struggle emotional eating is a nightmare and it's an endless loop
Bruh I think that's what they had
Holy Water none of them mentioned that, they all seemed to have anorexia or bulimia
EXACTLY. i’m obsessed with food but nobody take it seriously or sees it as an illness. “Just eat to fullness” like wow thanks I didn’t know
@Clarissa same
"there are poor people who starve and you're wasting all your food and money" UUUGHHH
THIS ONE IS SOOOOO ANNOYING OMG
Ikr, like do you know how guilty I feel about it already thanks
YES
pls I finally told my mom and this is what she said
"you gonna finish that?"
silence me “are you sure you should be eating that?” When it’s the first and last thing you’re eating that day
hands donuts to me for breakfast "everything fits" and forces me to eat two.
The fact that I was a stereotypical anorexic (white teenage girl) really invalidated me. I felt like my problems weren't real because "every girl feels this way". I hid because I didn't want people to roll their eyes and say "oh typical teenager". In short, stereotypes harm everyone.
"Do you know how hard this is for me?" Oh I'm sorry Susan I didn't realize you were the one struggling.
“Whatever you are doing is working you look great”
Uhm I’m not eating...
@LYRICXL omg a doctor. ....im speechless. But they r paid to know and still they r ignorant, what a ripoff
@@kittycat3638 doctors aren't taught about nutrition
"You don't eat enough." Omg I know that's What I'm trying to do
"You look so healthy!" Literally causes me mental breakdowns and panic and anxiety attacks
I feel this way too much
Well I don't have an eating disorder so I can't talk much about it, and tbh I don't really know what to comment either, but I just wanna say something nice...I really wish you the best
"look how FULL your face has got! You've done so well!!!!" made me want to die
What’s with people thinking that being underweight ALWAYS means you’re anorexic?
It’s the most commonly known one and people assume they restrict. Of course I disagree but I get why people assume it and aren’t as clued up with other EDs. It’s like the top hierarchy of it
@@tannergrinzel5123 what
never NEVER say “you’re so skinny!” “you’ve lost tons of weight” “you look much better” that motivates people to lose more weight
camila cedeno I was fat and because a healthy weight from starving myself and that motivated me. I'm recovering now and it kills me when someone mentions I lost weight because it makes me want to lose more.
My family would always say: "Just get over it and eat normally like everybody else!"
I am so so sorry to hear that. Much of love!
@@daraley1098 thank you so much!
"Eat more, it's easy!"
"Just snap out of it"
"I wished I had your ability to starve and lose weight"
WHO said that last one because I just wanna talk👀
Omg, I’m recovering from bulimia and the amount of people that have told me “I tried being bulimic but didn’t have the ‘courage’, ‘strength’, ‘drive’ ...” AHhHaaHaAAHhHhh!!!
Carolina Murtha oh no I’m sorry that you’re going through it!! No one going through what you are should have to ever hear that :( take care and stay strong!
@@thebabyhater I had a "friend" who said to a girl with anorexia had "so much self control". The anorexic girl responded "no, I'm dying" and my "friend" was like "but you're *so* thin it's great". I have never been more disgusted.
@@rockercaterrorencountered4924 Some people are just a waste of brains. I am so sorry for the girl, that's horrible:((
I am an ED therapist at a treatment center. I play this video all the time for my patient's and their parents. It really helps them understand things in a way that is easy to laugh at. Thank you for this video.
Gaining weight after anorexia:
"You look so healthy!"
"You look great!"
*forced smile*
WHY!?!?
That's good that shows your recovering???
BAT MAN yeah but it means you’ve gained weight, and it’s hard to hear that when it’s the thing you fear most.
I can imagine how painful it had felt, I'm sorry they said that to you. I think people need to educate themselves more and realise that the last thing a person in recovery from an eating disorder would want to hear is a comment regarding their appearance. So it's best not to talk about it at all, even if it may sound positive, it can hurt a lot more than you could imagine. Stay safe, friend. I hope you're in a better place 🌺
Aight so what should you say?
I thought as long as you don't talk about weight specifically pretty much anything's okay
@MAKENA WINKIEL Try to set a good example yourself by showing your friend what a healthy relationship with food looks like, as well as positive body image and a balanced exercise mindset. As people with eating disorders continue with recovery, it becomes easier to talk about food and other sensitive topics, so just be patient and don't rush into potentially triggering conversation. As a recovering anorexic, I can tell you that a year ago I was a different person with different thoughts. Sure, I'm not perfect even now, but recovery takes a lot of time and hard work. It will get better!
Can we have a moment of silence, please, for that man who never started to menstruate? You're in my prayers, bud.
"lol welcome to mental illness" shouldn't of laughed at that.
Cloudy Lemonade shouldn’t have, not of
"That's not good for you though!" Gee! I didn't know! It's not like I'm SICK or anything!
" stop calling yourself fat "
I wish I could, but I cant-
Exactly
Even after recovery I sometimes still get anxiety about my weight or how much I'm eating.
I've just learned to live with it and keep fighting against it.
It will never go away completely.
Yes you're right. Eating disorder thoughts after a successful recovery are normal. iT is about how someone deals with them. The thoughts are there but they dont have the power any more to influence someone's life or even take control over someone's life.
Please do dyspraxic people! Dyspraxia is such a common disability and most people dismiss it as clumsiness until they're diagnosed
I'd never even heard of it until I met someone who had it, a couple of years ago. Some awareness/ education on it could be very useful. That's what they did with dyslexia in the 90s and I think it's helped a lot.
Wow never knew that is a thing, thanks for telling me
Yes! My sister has dyspraxia and an eye condition where she sees two of everything
Heck yes!!
What is dyspraxia it said about co ordination when I searched it up but it didn’t really know what it was ???
"Eat it, Is healthy you are not going to gain Weight"
"Did you already eat?"
This are mine😪
From my own experience - I had eating disorder since I was 10 and when I was 21 I became severely bulimic and after puking for 4 months everyday I finally went to the doctor and when I told her that I had been puking fpr 4 months, she SNORTED because she thought I wasn't sick enough. Luckily other doctor took me seriously and I recovered. It doesn't matter how long you've been sick or doing something, if you feel you need help, YOU NEED HELP. period.
I am now in recovery but I had binge eating disorder to the point I became morbidly obese. I had no off switch it was no food or eat it till its gone.it was a way of protecting myself and making myself undesirable. Eating disorders come in all types.....
I know that recovery is very difficult but stay strong I hope that you would get better even though we don’t know each other I just wanted to support 🙌🏼
i am so similar to you, we’re all in this together, we got this🥰🥰
Isn't it so annoying that people seem to think that eating disorders only affect skinny people? It's not true. I'm around 20 stone (I haven't weighed myself in years, as I was at one point OBSESSED with how much I weighed, to the point where I was weighing myself 2-3 times a day), and I binge eat.
How did you recover? Currently going through the same thing :(
They certainly do. I was looking for a comment about BED. Frustratingly, people don't see it as a real illness. Sadly that's where I am in my life right now, and I don't really have many recovery options. Do you mind if I ask you where you got the best help from?
You should do one with people who self harm or have self harmed cause people assume so many things about it
Yes PLEASE
Very yes
Yes please
FRANK IERO
"Play with your puppy and just eat some more"
"Go eat a burger"
"Enjoy how you look right now, it won't last forever"
"Just add more butter and drink lots of soda and you'll be all better"
"You're a bit too skinny, skip the salad and eat some pizza" (I've never eating a salad in my life btw)
These are some of the things doctors have told me on how to treat my painful stomach condition that mimicked an ED. It caused severe 24/7 nausea and bad stomach cramping that made keeping food down hard so I would end up throwing up every time I ate out of pain but I looked like I had an ED so they wouldn't listen to my symptoms or why I didn't have an eating disorder. I can't imagine what people must go through it they actually have an ED and try to get help from doctors like this. There's so much dismissal and horrible statements and I hope that doctors become more educated on it over time
My response whenever someone says
“Just eat”
Is to just say
“Just climb a mountain”
"If you want attention, go streaking. You'll have a lovely time." 😂😂😂😂😂
Social anxiety next plssssss
yesss
Would you even want to be in a video if you have SAD
@@Isak-H as someone with it. I can tell you that it is very different from person to person. I could be in that video with no problem but still get an anxiety attack if I think about eating out.
Isak HAHAHAHAHAHA facts
I had anorexia in my teens and still can't put on weight, because food just doesn't seem that enjoyable anymore - so when people tell me they want to have my body, it breaks my heart. Yes, you can see my bones, yes, I never feel fat but I also _can't rely on my body to work properly_ . When has that become desirable?
Edit: Also you never get rid of an eating disorder, you just learn to cope with it. Some better than others
I have bulimia and something you said really spoke to me: “food just doesn’t seem that enjoyable anymore.” Because I go through binge and purged and was very secretive about the purges, a lot of people in my family tease me or give me a hard time for “always” eating. I don’t enjoy it at all, it’s my way to cope. As part of my recovery I finally had to break it down that “I HATE EATING.” This blew their minds, but I do. I would love to be able to enjoy food some day but for now the best I can do is eat balanced and stick to small frequent meals so it’s pretty much purely fuel. Hopefully someday ...
People also need to understand eating disorders aren't just making yourself thin
There's also binge eating disorders and stuff like that
i love what the man in the black shirt said about when people ask what his lowest weight was and he replied “i don’t say because i don’t wanna be like, oh, i was a gold star anorexic.” 💗
"of course it's happening inside your head, harry, but why on *earth* should it mean that it's not real?"
My favourite is when they try to guilty trip you with
“There are kids starving in Africa and you’re throwing away you’re food”
Not everyone can afford a home either but you seem perfectly fine with your mansion Karen
Here to tell all the people watching this who have (an) eating disorder(s), I love you and you are strong and you are beautiful❤️
don’t say: you look healthy or gained weight
people with eds or recovering can take it differently because of how our brains work
This is such a big thing!
I appreciate these people coming forward, but what about people with binge-eating disorder who have become overweight/obese? It's tiring to see how underrepresented binge-eaters are in these kinds of conversations. Especially considering they make up a huge portion of people with eating disorders worldwide.
And what about people who have binge-eating disorder but aren't overweight ? Like when I tell my mom I can't control myself when I eat, she doesn't take me seriously because I'm not fat enough to have binge-eating disorder.
i think shame is a big part in it. those people seems like they have more or less recovered, too. one woman talked about not being skinny enough to have an ED. you can never really tell.
As a "chubbier" anorexic, this is my everyday thing. I've never been underweight, but I had a lack of potassium, iron, calcium... I also lost my period and a ton of hair. It was so painful when I talked about my awful relationship with food and how many kilos I lost in less than a month and people were impressed and asked me for tips, when I didn't eat anything in almost a week. Hopefully my mother noticed and I'm on recovery now. I'm battling a lot, and sometimes I restrict even if I think I'm doing great but deep down my heart I know I'm not.
Me: “Hey can I tell you something?”
My toxic asf “friend”: “yea sure”
Me: “I’m anorexic”
My toxic asf friend: “Yea looks like you need it”
Chisps_ THEY ARE CANCELLED 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 NO ONE DESERVES THAT
tf thats so rude they don't deserve ur friendship
I don't even have an eating disorder, but some people believe I have anorexia because I'm skinny (I've always been) and I'm a picky eater. They basically come to me like "hey, are you anorexic?" Wtf??? You just don't go asking people those things!
"have a banana" jokES ON YOU THEY TERRIFY ME
Exactly😂
Are ypu Tyler Joseph?
no one:
my friend: "omg i havent eaten all day im starving"
me, who ate this morning but now feels guilty about it: "well then."
When family’s crying and saying ”we don’t want you to die”, is such a difficult thing to answer...
Do people actually do that?
Well, my sister did, was one of the most heartbreaking things to carry all that guilt because she believed that I would die.... Didn’t really help with my recovery to feel like I failed my family if I didn’t eat. I am a whole bunch more stable and happier today
@@emmeli_melin1137 On the bright side, even if what she was saying was true, you got lucky and lived to tell your story. It's great that you're now doing better. As a person who doesn't have an eating disorder but does have body dysmorphia, I wish I can be as well as you are.
I am so happy that my family supported me. I am still fighting, but at least not crying and having panic attacks the way I used to (even if they do happen) I am really sensetive to pressure and that’s when they like to say hello. Funny thing is that I realized that I have gender dysphoria (got a lot easier to handle everything when I realized). I was so confused to why I would one day hate my hips one day, and another day love them. Still having some truble with handling my tits. I When I started to think ”Hey, it’s the dysphoria talking”, I felt for the first time like it was okay to not like a certain part of your body. Instead of avoiding and hate it, I tried to see it from another perspective, and investigate to allow myself to look at something scientific, and not value it. Helped me a lot. I guess eating disorders and body dysmorphia has some common traits, like not being able to look at yourself and see what you actually look like. All the anxiety too. Really want to give you a long, warm hug!
@@emmeli_melin1137 That's excellent. I wish I could do the same. My BMI has gotten as low as 15 (18 is the bare minimum) yet when I look in the mirror, I think I look average, if not above average. My ribs, collarbone, and hips protrude outwards, and for the longest time I thought it was normal. I tried to telling my parents that I think I have body dysmorphia, but they didn't believe me and just told me to eat more. I did, but nothing really happened. It turned out that I accidentally put my body in ketosis as I was eating a lot more fats than carbohydrates and protein.
being in recovery and hearing “i can tell you’ve gained weight! you look so healthy”
oof i feel that, like i dont want ot gain weight.
The thing is that’s part of recovery. Learning to accept the weight gain and embracing healthier body. Hearing a comment like that, as a hard as it can be, should be taken as a positive
I get so triggered by that
“They’re not Donald trump they don’t discriminate” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hate it when someone says,
"So you're eating again" it's , making you feel like throwing the food u just bought away-
I did that once. My teacher said aw well done you’re eating again. I got up and put the damn sandwich in the bin in front of her
I've never struggled with an eating disorder. But I do have digestive disorders, (IBS, food intolerances, etc) so eating can be frustrating and complicated. Once after I had been sick for a whole week and hadn't really eaten anything, a friend asked how I lost so much weight and raved about how good I looked and how jealous she was. I facepalmed, and then explained I'd been too sick to eat. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it is for someone who has an eating disorder when people make those ignorant comments.
I can relate to this soooo muuuuchh!! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ why people are so uneducated about eating disorders!! It’s not like they exist from yesterday!
SparkleHood it’s because there are so many stereotypes about them that people choose to believe. People won’t educate themselves about things that are irrelevant to themselves.
@@jw-27j01 eating disorders are pretty irrelevent in general , another illness produced in the first world due to uneducated people letting them self get pressured by their social arrounding and standards and not enough emotional intelligence to fix their problems . "its all in youre head" i think every human beeing is able to solve these problems for themself if they would invest enough time in them self and reflecting them selfs.So they can find where the pressure theyre feeling is coming from and if this feeling is really necessary . sure eating disorders are bad and should be taken seriously cuz its really harming . but i cant lose the fact thaht these prople kind of decided this themself by letting the enviroment pressuring themself that much and focusing on their look instead on their character .
@@kizzsir5632 this is so ignorant lol. you do realise that for a lot of people its not even about focusing on how they look right? for some its about control, or can be in response to trauma.
@@lunalove9395 ive been high asf after some more thoughts youre right , that was ignorrant these people cant help them self that easily im sorry
Idk tbh I feel like you can just eat. When I starved myself to loose weight I just stoped when I was satisfied and just ate
How about: 'Things not to say to someone with bpd'?
yes please
as in bipolar depression or borderline personality disorder? assuming the second but still idk
I meant borderline personality disorder.
YES PLEASE
Since when could BPD stand for bipolar depression too?
"I wish i looked like you!"
Me, someone who suffers from bulimia: n... no you don't...
Thao Nguyen yeah they do
After struggling with anorexia in high school, I had gained a significant amount of weight in my early twenties. A friend of mine was talking about a guy she knew who liked “bigger, curvier women” and she looked at me and without thinking said “he would LOVE you.”
Cut to me crying while I looked at myself in the mirror and dove head first into a relapse. 🙃
I have a large ribcage so even after I didn't eat for a year I was still "big". My partners where really the only ones that saw it, when I was laying down you could count every rib. My BMI (which is actually honestly bullshit) was never at a "healthy number" even when my stomach caved in from my ribs, I was still 5"3' and 152 at my absolute lowest. To this day when I tell people then I had a eating disorder they say "well you look pretty big in those pictures, so you definitely didn't have an eating disorder". Like, no I had a eating disorder, sorry I don't fit your ideal. Doesn't mean I didn't stugfle
That's very sad. But an eating disorder is a mental issue and therefore it is not important how much a person weighs since the problem is in their mind. You can be on a normal weight but have anorexia, that is not uncommon in anorexic people. The same with people who are naturally very skinny. It doesnt automatically mean that they have anorexia only because they have a low body weight.
Usually uneducated people think this way but professionals should know that it's not about the number on the scale.
People who admire anyone's control with food either have an ED themselves or are on their way to developing one. Seems a strange thing to think, let alone say, from the perspective of a person with no eating disorders.
Admiring someone because they have the control over food isn't a bad thing. Only when the person they are speaking about has an eating disorder. I know plently of people who have control over food.. they eat when they are hungry and don't when they aren't. I eat when I am bored sometimes so can admire someone who has a little more control than me.
Yep. Definitely
I've always thought this and I'm very wary of not slipping up around those types of people glad I'm not the only one thinking that.
J. S. No, people “controlling” what they eat causes these disorders. Stop shaming people for eating.
@@j.s.2281 Exactly! If you tell someone who you know has an ED that you admire their control with food, that's very foolish and insensitive. But having good, healthy, flexible, consistent control over one's eating is admirable. As someone who felt very out of control of my eating for quite a while when I was young, I'm proud of my current relationship with food. That said, I'd like to learn to eat less out of boredom, and make healthier food choices. And I admire the healthy self-control of the people I know who do make healthy food choices and rarely eat out of boredom and DON'T have eating disorders.
There's clawing after control and then there's actually having it. When you actually have control, it doesn't feel precarious and you don't fixate on having/losing it.
"Are you gonna eat just that??"
"Why don't you eat more??"
"Just eat more!"
"Just stop eating when you're full."
"Why do you eat so much?"
"How does all this food fit in your little stomach?!?"
"I didn't imagine you could eat all this food"
"Why you never come to eat with us? It's just lunch/dinner!"
"You just gained a little weight don't worry! You're just growing up"
"You're so grown-up!"
"Look at your boobs!"
Why people don't understand how serious EDs are 😞
“Eating Disorders are not Donald Trump” 2:47
My new favorite quote😂
"Just have a banana"
Bananas are one of my fear foods. Lol
I think bananas are most of us fear food... I mean... It's like, is fruit, but... "Do you know what bananas are made of?!" Me to my therapist while crying
MultiFandomVidder Its actually crazy you commented under this because i'm largely recovered now and its crazy reading this comment. I love bananas now! Sending love and strength to you ❤️
“I’d love to be as skinny as you” is always the kicker when talking to someone
Ellen M I understand the pain in that, But there are some people who suffer with the eating disorder that comment things like that, because they assume you are naturally that skinny, or they wish they were.
as someone with an eating disorder, hearing those words.. makes me very very pleased but the anorexic voice gains more thought and control when it is said :(
When I was in recovery my dad legit called me fat and my mum pretty much called me insane by saying I was the ‘only non-sane person in the family’