Things Not To Say To Someone Who's Been Sexually Assaulted
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- Nobody should have to experience sexual assault.
For those that have, they say talking about the subject opens up a host of myths, misconceptions and assumptions from wider society - everything from being questioned on what they were wearing and how drunk they were, to being asked if, actually, they enjoyed it.
These brave beings set the record straight.
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"Why didn't you fight?"
"I didn't want to die."
Megan Chalmers facts 😢😫😖😞
Same😭😭😭
Yeah, because someone held at gun point or pinned down by someone 2 their size can fight back, right?
Ania W I hope ur somewhat alright now I’m so sorry that happened
Ania W I’m so sorry to hear that hope you get better💞
Two powerful statements:
1) I believe you.
2) It wasn't your fault.
Summer Dais yes, love this! And also a simple "I'm here for you" is so empowering. We have to empower victims of sexual assault, that's the only way we can get more rapists behind bars.
Summer Dais yes
Summer Dais i wish someone would say that to me..
Alyssa Ancell Awh. Don't worry! I have to say it to you... If this happened to you, it wasn't your fault... Stay strong, I'm here for you. :3
Summer Dais no fuck off, innocent until proven guilty
"Why didn't you report it?"
Because I was an easily impressionable 12 year old and I was terrified that he would hurt me again
Star Rose that’s one of the most annoying things I hear! Like it’s traumatic, and you could have so many reasons that you didn’t report. You could have not known what was going on, you could be scared they’d do it again, anything could happen!
I didn't report it because I remembered what it was like when I was taken and sexually assaulted on the bus heading to school! I went through hell with proof, cameras caught it, classmates watched it, everyone saw what happened. Yet the police had the nerve to say and I quote "you should see Precious, she's been through worse!" So when I was raped by an acquaintance with no proof, I was not going through a rape kit, or an interrogation, I'd deal with it differently cause the legal system left more wounds than that coward ever could.
Because I was a child and didn't know what was happening. Because of dissociative amnesia where i locked it away so it wouldn't hurt me, til I had flash backs, still can't remember all of it and that im grateful for.
Star Rose I told my adoptive mom the second time it happened and I told her what happened and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. Then the 3rd time it happened I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would believe me
Because he is my brother and it happened 10 years ago. I didn’t want him to hate me.
"why didn't you fight"
Most people get shocked, they don't know how to react, because it's gross, because it's something that they didn't thought they'd go through, because it's really scary. That's why most people can't react.
oh the poor normies, haha... Poor poor normies wanna play the victim when sby was ACTUALLY abused.. Yeah, its a sad story, but srsly...
@@thenaturalpeoplesbureau What are you trying to say?
@@tsuyuasui2494 That Sweetie is right, and that abuse victims have to suffer just as much at the hands/words of unaffected idiots/police/bloodsucking attorneys, as by the actual perpetrator.
That the unaffected, actually play the victim when saying nonsense like "why didnt you fight" may not be evidently visible to some - but it is very disturbing to hear these things if you are affected by trauma. They need to hide behind their little view instead of asking honestly how these things go down, how and why. The way we are asked, is often so condescending that it might be just as satisfying to smack the perps as the "innocent" bystander conformist carbohydrate bags,..
We need to educate the masses a bit more about trauma, unless we want the world turn into shit.. 1 in 4 was abused at least once... Even if it were 1 in 20 only, those are HUGE NUMBERS of ticking timebombs... Yes, we are being treated like timebombs, because society the way it rolls, cant be bothered with social INCLUSION for victims... COuntless factors exclude em.. All the while the perps (if not sewed successfully) walk around free and privileged.. Of course they will never find peace... But i think we should help victims more - then we have less outbursts of chaos..
The whole process of our justice system does NOT help the victims, it often retraumatizes them in their most vulnerable moments.. Only survivors of such crimes and psychologists should formulate the laws and processes by which we can identify trauma, and hold perpetrators responsible. Our justice system enables crime on every level.. This is because the unaffected dont understand Trauma. So in a way, with these kinda crimes we need a different process.. Most survivors of childhood abuse CANNOT possibly know the details our justice system requires to catch criminals.
As such what we do is, we basically bully the survivors, quench em into the most unbearable positions, and in the end it DOESNT EVEN SERVE JUSTICE.
There are many ways by which we can determine things scientifically - psychologically and neurologically. We need a new system for THESE kinda crimes.. Either that, or we need a little purge... ;) It is not acceptable how many survivors have to deal with this SHIT system - all while the perps can walk around freely..
If we would for example be more open to topics like mobbing, we could easily psychologically assess who actually speaks he truth.. But scapegoating and mobbing is LITERALLY the ticket to heaven for judeao-christian doctrine. The term scapegoating as you may know actually stems from weird jewish ritual to "cast the sins of the community" on the head of an innocent goat and then send it into the desert (exclude it) so that it can die there.. That basically is the quintessential core of judaism and xtianity - god and the ppl need an innocent scapegoat and sacrificial lambs, so that their society can move on.. The notion that another should suffer for some1 elses shortcomings is the most heinous crime there is - and these ppl have a religion where THIS is actually their way to liberation...
It makes me sick if i just think about it.. Most victims are unsure, and our justice system is a weird kinda popularity contest.. As such it is unfit for this world. A broken justice system desytroys social cohesion!! Destruction is often the consequence of that.
English is not my native language, from your comment i can see why you were asking though... :D It wasnt clear whoom i was really critizing... So now its clear i hope ;)
Maybe the normie problems (some would say not real problems at all) can be solved the old way - we need new ways of determination for certain types of crimes.. If we would go with what psychology found out last century, we wouldnt have that issue... But normies prefer to sell pharma ;^)
PS: Normal comes from the term "norma", which means a carpenters measurement tool... So a normal one is what his masonic masters want him to be - normalized, ergo sick.
Best regards, hold up
@@thenaturalpeoplesbureau Thank you
I was 6
No. Consent is not sexy. Consent is NECESSARY.
y not both
Consent is sexy maybe,
But it's also a human right.
NO ONE should be victim shamed.
I like hearing that “yes” all sexy like when I’m in the zone with a guy. Pretty sexy to me
Am I the only one who got that reference?
Autumn Patellaro true 👌
Also I ruined your 69 likes 😏
I was once sexually assaulted and I turned the guy to the police, and when the policeman asked me questions he asked "were you drunk?" and "what were you wearing?" ._.
Stina Hansen Ugh I'm so sorry that happened. :c
Stina Hansen A friend of mine was raped and weeks later when we had a sleepover the police called to ask her some questions and her mom set the phone on speaker. The so called "officer" said to her and I quote: She must have enoyed it. Its only natural if she was Wet down there those guys could got into her".. Not only were those words disguisting but the tone was pervy to put it lightly as well 😠. The guy ended up losing his job and the devils got what they deserved.
Stina Hansen did the guy go to jail?
When I went to the police after I was raped they said to me but you did like him. So the case was dropped!
These are legitimate questions asked for evidence collection.
I'm a male who's been raped and I hate when people say: "Is that why you're gay?" "But you're a guy... ?" It's just so stupid
ugh i hate it when people say that, I'm a lesbian and I was raped by a girl and get the same things like it makes no sense how someone thinks that
Anyone can be sexually assaulted or raped, just because you're gay, lesbian, male or female doesn't mean that you can't get raped or that it isn't as bad, it scars people for a long time.
Consent is necessary, not sexy.
You usually get raped by relatives or Friends of your family
A lot of people get raped when there really young, they can't fight and people don't usually Believe them
I support men that have been assaulted. Hope you are OK now
I'm sorry
Hey uk people who say that are absolute morons.
“What were you wearing?”
*”School uniform”*
SpiderTasks omg yes :( mine happened like that too..
Me to
I was wearing some tracky bottems and a 1d hoddy
@@jackmurphy5663 i love 1D tho
For everyone here in the comments stop lying and acting like a victim
I reported my rapist. He admitted to it and is going to prison, yet some old friends of mine still spread rumors about me saying I made it all up for money and attention. I'm left with no friends and can't explain to anyone I meet why I'm so lonely. If I do, I get bombarded with these sort of questions. It sucks. People suck. At least I'm lucky enough to have gotten justice.
MissOnslow i really hope you find friends who care about you, more then what happened in the past
What kind of idiot admits to it?
The kind of idiot who thought saying sorry would make me not report him.
*hugs*
MissOnslow People who treat survivors like that are the worst kind. Once when I was sixteen or so two of my friends who didn't know each other went out with me. They both shared their experiences with assault. The way they bonded in that moment made me feel honored that they could trust me and each other. I'm proud they are strong and trusting of me enough to tell me. Since then, many friends have had similar experiences. I try and hopefully manage to be totally supportive. The only question I ask is what I can do to help. That's the only question that matters, and God help anyone who talks shit about them in my earshot.
I wish you had the kind of friends who treated you right. Fuck those people for failing you. Hopefully, you will meet better people in the future. At the very least my heart goes out to you and I wish you strength and love wherever you are.
When people say rape victims “were asking for it” I always come in and say
“Did my 12 year old self ask for it wearing my required school uniform?” It shuts them up every time.
-めぐみん stop trolling you 12 year old
-めぐみん You are disgusting.
-めぐみん Well rape isn’t clapping
Yeah, you're young and in uniform, most likely with more 12 year olds.
Well anyone who suggests that it’s the victims fault is stupid and should be easy to refute
“Get over it already.”
My best friend said that to me.
Ugh, get that person out of your life. That is no friend.
my mom said that to me after I told her
Bruhhhh I hate people like that
Dani Has an unhealthy obsession with books OMG! I feel so sorry for you
Ouch!
"you must've wanted it a little bit"
that was said to me by the perpetrator, i was 8, 9, and 10.
"why didn't you report it?"
it was my stepbrother and he lived with me. i did report it when i was 13 and was told i was a liar and it was all in my head
I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I believe you. Stay strong❤️❤️
@@pinkflower1076 thank you
C Gough you’re very welcome
C Gough I reported my uncle when I was four he did it over 50 times. I got adopted and told my adoptive mom what a different guy did and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. When I was 16 it was a stranger and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would beleive me.
@@shaynakrutsch4941 damn I'm sorry, my mom never reported it when i told her and she actually blamed it on my uncle then gaslighted me into thinking i was brainwashed by my dad and that this story was all in my head. I'm sorry that happened to you i hope you are staying strong
"You shouldn't have trusted him, and stay with your relatives"
Bro it was my uncle
Edit: a lot of people are opening and replying, i wish y’all the best, you are strong, we are strong.
Brother
Step brother
Cousin
dad
Cousin
For people who do not understand consent:
If a house has a welcome mat, it does not mean you can barge in whenever you like.
And just because you've been allowed in that house before, doesn't mean you can now break in when ever you like.
Brilliant.
I love the tea analogy. If you've seen that ?
As a Brit, I fkn love tea.
I do not have a welcome mat 😂
Natalie Parish my mum calls my welcome mat ironic. 'you don't want anyone here though...'
@@LadyMot that's partly why I don't have one 😂
this is literally the perfect example
I hate people telling me “your such an attention seeker”
wolf pack That’s extremely fucked up that people said that to you. You are a very brave person for coming forth. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong❤️❤️
Attention seeking? More like a call for help honestly. I can't stand people who say behaviors are attention seeking. Maybe people are seeking attention FOR A REASON?
@@APatel8 I don't understand why people can't understand that, I agree of course :)
Honey yoU ain’t seeking for attention tell the to flip off
whomp whomp
So many comments on this section, so many abused people it actually breaks my heart... 😫😫😫
Ikkk😔😔😔
So many fake victims
Daniel Petkov why do u think they’re fake? I’m just asking btw
Daniel Petkov very easy to call someone fake when it doesn’t happen to you
I say that bc there are to many victms don't u think
the day after i was sexually assaulted i was talking to my friend about it and she told me that i was overreacting and i shouldn't let this control my life. THE DAY AFTER I WAS SEXUALLY ASSUALTED
Edgy Edgerod when I told my friend she laughed and said why does it matter (only one of them said that my real friends were made and told there parents) the worst part is that I was in the middle of school no one saw anything and the kid didn't get in trouble because only my (true) friends believed me and my mom. The teachers did nothing
Mad*
John Generic ex friend I hope.
did you leave her because hopefully you did b/c thats bloody stupid to say that
John Generic You def find out who is a real friend afterwards.
I hate it when people say men can't be sexually assaulted.
Yeah, no, it's physically impossible. As in, you're repelled by an invisible force field whenever you attempt it. Can't be done.
He was making a joke about people saying men can't be sexually assaulted.
TheBakingSeal yes it can
Baby Noot Nope. I tried sexually assaulting myself, and my arm flew back and killed my mother. Point proven.
TheBakingSeal a guy being sexually assaulted is when a man or woman is when the man doesn’t give consent during sexual pleasures
"What were you wearing?"
I was 11
"Were you drunk?"
I WAS 11
"You must have wanted it."
I. WAS. 11.
"Why didn't you fight?"
I!WAS!!11!!!
"Why didn't you report it?"
I did! I went to the police station and filed a report! The police literally said a few days later that they weren't going to do anything because the guy was young and boys will be boys.
boys will NOT be fkn boys, if boys are touching people without consent. i really hope you're doing well
Wtf is going on in the world
Wtf
"BOyS wIlL bE bOyS"
I didn't know it was natural male instinct to rape a child. Sorry that happened to you
@@queenii my mom got raped by a girl too
"You must have wanted it a little bit..." Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and abusers have been using that against they're victims for years. I HATE being tickled. But the knowledge that I don't like it doesn't stop my body from reacting the way it does... Also, "yes" is the sexiest word in the english language
im sorry man, but the sexiest word is "siluette"
@@pumpkinpumpkinton4764 I think you mean silhouette, which is also not an English word, so....
What do you say about sex workers whom don't enjoy having sex with their customers?
Well I was 4 years old so im pretty sure I wasn't drunk.
KawaiiBread That's what my friend says to people who ask him that. "You wanted it didn't you" "Did you give them any hints to it" "Were you wasted". Everytime he says "I was like 8 so no" it's really shitty that people try to blame the victim first
I'm so sorry for what happened. Please don't stop sharing. We need conversation to be happening around this topic. Stay strong ily x
KawaiiBread pretty sure no one asked
+WoddlesAndNoddles Chill, this entire comment section is full of people sharing their stories, they were just contributing theirs.
WoddlesAndNoddles well then leave
The first therapist I ever went to I told her "I was sexually assaulted by my brother while I was asleep" and she said "I don't believe you" ... 🙄 Your job is to AT LEAST listen to my problems. Like, it's the LEAST you can do
Brittany G. My bother used to touch me in my sleep when i was 7. and he had an obsession with me ever since, and a year ago he tried to rape me but the only thing that prevented it from happening is that i tried to stab him in the neck when he tried .
Im thinking of getting a therapist, but my worst fear is that they wouldn't believe me .
Courtney Ronk thank you
sassy moon turkey Do it...you will feel better having telled someone X Don't let what he did go uninformed💜 Good luck bubba
I was sexually assaulted in my sleep as well 😕
yeah when I told a guy I was dating that my brother sexually assaulted me for years, the first thing he said was 'I'm jealous of your brother haha' worst thing I've ever heard. Im terrified to tell anyone, cause everytime the person says something to hurt me.
What not to say to someone who has been sexually assaulted
“Did it feel good tho?”
Oh God I heard that once said to someone and I almost gagged
Hannah King People can be so fucked up. It makes me sick, sometimes even to the point where I think I might throw up, that there are people who actually think like that, or even think it’s funny.
That is the worst possible thing........... Right, Ricegum?
and that's on r*ce g*m ✋🤢
@Banna Bread yesss, I was molested by a women when I was 5, it felt good but bad afterwards and I'm extremely sensitive to touch anywhere on my body especially my neck.
"you guys were dating"
"Hes done it before though"
But i said no and he kept doing it
I’m in the same boat as you hun :( just remember that your experience is still 100% valid and your relationship with him doesn’t make you any less of a survivor, you are strong and brave!
@@pumpkinspicebleach5061 "strong"and "brave"
@@danielpetkov3856 what does that mean?
People act as if when you date someone you love them forever and say yes to so many things. Being in a relationship is so complicated and sometimes u wanna break up w them and dont know how to. Or dont know what love is and you don’t realize you’re not in love. What does being in a relationship have to do with anything
Caseyisdrowning Omg, why don’t people understand this?! A relationship doesn’t entitle you to s*x anytime you want! I sometimes wish these people who claim it’s okay would be r*ped the moment they ever dated someone and then I would see if THEY still thought it was okay bc they were dating. Maybe it’s sick, but in so many situations where victims of stuff are made to feel bad about being victims, if the people shaming them were to experience it themselves, I’m sure they’d never do it again.
By definition you CAN'T ask for rape.
Chris Hansen no
Chris Hansen that’s what safe words are for.
I am so glad people are pointing this out for the idiots in the world!~
Yes, because rape is non consensual, but people love to say "YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT" 😒, and those people are idiots.
@@mctescotenacious5285 Yes bruv.
"I don't believe you" is the one that hits me the most.
Band Child I feel you, I lost all my friends because they thought I was lying..
My dad said that.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND
@@audreylee1699 my mom too 😓
it’s because the dumb ones who really lie about it give the ones who really were a bad rep
Once I opened up to a family member about my story and she said "I just didn't think you'd let that happen to yourself, thought you'd fight for yourself" hearing that made my heart drop.
I know it probably dosnt mean much coming from a total stranger but like..... I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Ben Smith 15
I think of my science teacher every time I think of consent
"Consent is not the absence of a no, but the presence of a yes"
That man was very wise and taught me a lot of other things.
Thank you Mr. Greenhouse :)
I hate people who undermind these situations. Holy shit
HarleyQuinn*
Waldemar Konstantin Snow The girl is probably called Haley and that's why it's not "Harley"
She's clearly using Harley Quinn which her picture suggests.
HaleyQuinn I love the picture of harley quinn and I agree
Vademar of Xeroes it's play on words. a harley quinn fan named haley. isn't rocket science.
Its sad that rape is actually more common than people think. There is a great chance you know someone who has been raped.
And a bigger chance that you know those who raped.
Vademar of Xeroes like 1 in multiple thousand people have committed sex crimes, I'm pretty sure I don't know any rapists my friend.
I go to a "upper class" private school and whenever rape is mentioned, everybody talks about that stuff like this never happens in our circles. In Reality I know 4 girls who were raped, all of them were 14-16 when it happened and those are only the ones who told me about it...
Rebbi LiebtKekse they were probably asking for it, or made it up.
Eoghann Gibson OR you can stop with the culture of victim blaming
"why didn't you fight?" I hate when people ask me this. In my case, I fought like hell once I realized what was happening, but by then it was too late, he already had me pinned, I couldn't move, I fought so hard. I'm still fighting now, against people who say that kind of thing, and against my anxiety and PTSD resulting from it.
Keep fighting ❤
i hate the people who lie about being sexually assaulted bc it harms the people who actually were assaulted HONESTLY
There has to be DNA, photographic or witness evidence to convict someone... so lying doesn’t get far.
Even with circumstantial evidence, reporting a sexual assault doesn’t get far.
@@rebekahsquires2073 there’s been cases where women have lied and the guy got convicted
@@rebekahsquires2073 but yes you do have to show evidence so I agree
There are so many more accused of lying then actually lie. Numbers are that 2 percent of REPORTED rape may be false. (Keep mind the estimate is 1 in 10 rapes are all that gets reported). Of those two percent, almost all that were studied were found to have lued for alternate reasons...i.e. Afraid to name the actual abuser, mental disorders confusing the mental ability to state the correct attacker,being forced to name someone under duress -- but they had still been raped.
Yes, theres the occasional attention or revenge seeking crazy chick, but when that is 1 in 10 thousand rapes, dont you think it would be more statistically accurate to assume that she is telling the truth?
"Were you drunk?" yeah of course, I was 6 & drunk
And you were probably tempting him in your Care Bear shirt.
Tia D. Omg rape isn't funny but LMAO I CAN'T
Tia D. God damn it! This is a serious video yet you made such a funny ass comment! I shouldn't have laughed😂😅🤣😅😂🤣
With butterfly hair clips in your hair.
Julie May I was 12 and asked the same questions
I'm so glad they mentioned how sexual assault isn't about attractiveness or sexual intentions it's about power and vulnerability and no one seems to be aware of that.
Attractiveness and sexual intentions do play a role but the factors you mentioned also play a role, usually a major role.
King Of Combat ' no
No they absolutely do not play a role. Zero percent. Trust the victims and criminals, not the science documentaries you've watched on UA-cam.
This is never about attractiveness. It's about feeling like you control another human being and they will do anything you say out of fear. It's enjoying
seeing that fear in the eyes of the victim and wanting more of it. It's literally torture.
@@RacingPepe "Don't trust science" Getting assaulted doesn't make you a boxing expert, getting robbed doesn't make you an expert on larceny statistics, why do people think getting raped makes you a rape expert
Jenni Sakakura apart from everyone in the world
"why didn't you fight?"
She was my girlfriend, and she *psychologically forced* me to have sex with her, saying that I wasnt enough for her. So I, a 12 year-old (at the time), said that it was ok, but it was not
@soy delRojo Not true. Also her age doesn't matter
@@apeescapefan I'm sorry you had to go through that. Male survivors of abuse need to be more recognized and supported.
@soy delRojo stooooooppppp go buy a brain then don't come back
What are you saying bruh? You mean even consent is not enough?
Uhm... I'm a girl y'all, and when you're coerced and blackmailed it's not consent, it's rape
it happened when i was 10, the boy was 13. he was my best friend's boyfriend. he said that if i told anyone he would say i seduced him, and everyone especially my "best friend", would hate me. some days later, i found out she knew it all the time, because it was her plan, she wanted to ruin my life... and she did it very well. the worst month of my life.
pd: now she claims to be a feminist...
@Breanna Clement it's fine, i'm trying to get over that part of my life. i feel like a new me already :)
Weird story but I believe you kind a you don't sound like a fake victim
@@danielpetkov9956 well, yeah, it's kinda weird, but nope, it's not fake sadly
@@hiilovetosing4863 aw, thank you bby! :(
Did u tell your parents, it can help if you tell your parents
Please do "Things not to say to someone with anxiety," I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was a kid and people usually just think I'm annoyingly shy lmao
central green omg same
people don't think i'm shy because my anxiety doesnt effect the fact that i'm extroverted so people just think im a "nut job, basket case, unstable" because I'm pretending to be fine until i cant
Or ppl think you are pretending and causing drama bc you ''need attention'' or they say ''it's not that bad you're going through a fase'' uhg if they only knew
I hate when people ask me "do you talk?"
Load ing omg for real I hate that to, and sometimes when I do talk their like "omg you actually talked"
My mom asked me why I didn't scream.
What she doesn't get is that in my head I screaming so loud but my voice was gone and I didn't fight because everything froze .
That's the thing, people either fight or freeze when confronted with something traumatic. It does not make anyone less of a victim and survivor if they could not actively oppose the situation.
Anele Ntenjwa you are not alone, that’s a very common reaction and there was nothing you could’ve done to stop that. most people who haven’t experienced such trauma don’t understand how they would respond. it was not your fault
Me too :( the whole time I’m thinking “no no get off I don’t want this no”
I forgot and screamed but it didn't make a difference its not your fault its the one who hurt you....
How everything froze?
"why do you want to talk about it"
Well actually I didn't say anything to anyone for two weeks after it happened. And even after that it was difficult talking about it. Now, years later, I'm very open about ALMOST anything difficult that's happened in my life because someone who's struggling might hear me talk about it and open up themselves, which will help them slowly heal. Having my friends to talk to was the best thing I could do so if I can help someone else coming out of their shell, to me or to someone else, I'll talk about it at every opportunity.
The older you get the better your mind gets at evaluating the situation.
I was raped at 6 by a preacher, I've heard a lot of these questions before whenever I actually opened up about my trauma. A lot of people say that because I'm Aro-Ace that it shouldn't have been easy for him to do what he did. Seeing this honestly helps me feel a bit better about what happened.
"Did you like it?"
Possibly the most upsetting thing I've been asked.
That person definetly watches too much hentai
"Possibly the most upsetting thing I've been asked."
So I take it that you didn't like to be asked that.
its RAPE. which means its UNWANTED. I dont think anyone likes something that is forced onto them.
Dj fandrus Actually people can orgasm during rape. It's an automatical reaction of the body. Denying it only makes people to whom it happened feel even more like it's their fault and they should be ashamed.
Dr_hombre
This doesn't have to specifically relate to sexual assault, but anytime a person says "But you look so happy now" in a way that insinuates we're lying, I just think- "So I'm not allowed to heal? Or to move on? I'm supposed to just wallow in pain and self pity making myself feel miserable?"
DayuZ And those people are the same people that tell you too move on
@@zahrah8512 no they aren't wtf are u talking abt
@@danielpetkov3856 Okay but they totally are, I know from experience- the people who say "get over it" are the same people who act surprised when something terrible happens to you and you DO get over it
It's shocking the level of stupidity of some people. 😑
Guys to save yourself the heartache, tell other survivors and/or a therapist.
“What were you wearing?”
*Clothes*
👍🏾
My boyfriend and I have both experienced sexual assault, and when he finally opened up about what happened I just broke down. It’s so awful that people don’t take men seriously when they have experienced sexual assault. It’s just as awful. And it breaks my heart just thinking about it right now.
"Why didn't you fight?" is one of the hardest questions to answer, because when you're asked that, you are forced to look back and think of all the possible ways you could've escaped. You then start to ask yourself that question too. "Why didn't I just run away? Why didn't I scream or call for help?" - It's honestly not that simple. When you're in that situation; when you are actually being assaulted; and when it's by a family member... Your mind doesn't, won't and can't work conventionally. So, if you're still reading up to this point, I want you to do something. That is: when a person tells you their story - when they have to relive all that pain and suffering, don't ask questions. Just listen. All these seemingly harmless questions linger in a person's mind and makes them regret not doing what they wish they had. So please, for my - and every other victim of sexual assault's sake: Just listen.
Cr33pycat: Thank you so much for posting this comment. I've always been uncomfortable about how to handle a situation to where a person would open up an assault story like this. I never knew what to say or how to react if the time would ever come, but now I know and it completely makes sense
Briana Muskus,
You're welcome. I'm glad you took the time to read what I said and consider it. The best thing to do for someone - when the need arises - is to sit through it, don't ask for details, and let them know that they have a well of unconditional support from you. It makes all the difference. :)
Sometimes, when you find yourself in that situation, your mind just goes blank and you freeze, It's like a way your body has to try and block the horror you're going through, even if you remember everything afterwards. I think most people would totally have wanted to DO something about it, but they just couldn't. I couldn't.
It's well explained here.
People have so many wrong assumptions what rape is like and what's it about. People are different and there is a variety of reactions.
tvo.org/video/programs/the-agenda-with-steve-paikin/the-truth-about-trauma
Cr33pycat well said
I truly hope that one day, people who have experienced sexual assault will not feel ashamed anymore because they are not guilty of anything. You are strong, your are brave, you didn't deserve that.
Salome Cheyenne thanks you 😊
Thank you so much💓
For that very reason, when I was raped by a man who broke into my apartment, I shouted it out to everyone I knew. He was really stupid and left fingerprints so he got 11 years in prison. My dad told me he didn't want to know about it because he felt bad that he couldn't protect me. I told him, the guy had a knife, how would you protect me?
Two years after he got out of prison he assaulted another woman and that time he did cut her up. My testimony helped put him away for life.
Getting sexually harrased is brave?
LOL
😊
"Why didn't you fight back?"
I was 5 and I trusted my older brother
😭😭😭😭😭
Oh thank GOD theres a dude in there, I'm glad we recognized that dudes also get sexually assaulted.
Thank you
@@danielpetkov3856 great job taking what I actually said completely out of context.
@@thenerdmaster9381WTF bro I was joking wtf are serious man you must be kidding me
@@danielpetkov3856 bro what u said doesnt sound like a joke to anyone dont be shocked
@@dontask8051 of course it doesn't sound like one if ur a boomer lmfao 🤣
@@danielpetkov3856 i already can tell youre like 5 because no one uses boomer anymore
People are so horrific. Sexual assult is never the victim's fault ever, full stop, in any situation. These comment prompts make me so angry :'(
meme asian Yeah but that type of comments may not seems so harmful for us, but it makes the victim feel guilty. They already go through a lot of shit
meme asian you never know the context. it may seem stupid to you what they do but it may make perfect sense with context. going back to an abusive ex may sound stupid. add the context of manipulation, emotional abuse, or loneliness and it's less stupid. a lot of "stupid" situations can be understood that way. try not to see things only through your perspective.
meme asian there are things I can do to minimize my chances of getting shot like wearing a bullet proof vest everywhere or never leaving my home but then you're not going to tell me it's my fault when I step outside and get shot by a criminal
lgal56 👏👏👏👏
lgal56 And to minimalize getting assaulted, just don't walk on sketchy places, don't act slutty, (this is a controversial topic but really think about it, a few of cases are when the girl provokes the man when the man is probably drunk or not, and seduce the woman, towards assult, the woman may be drunk as well or not.) Never go alone at night, live in a nice neighboorhood, not the stereotypical ghetto "hood". choose the right friends
I'm so sick of hearing "well he was your bf so it couldn't of been rape" ...wtf
edit: wow I'm shocked by the amount of likes. thanks for the support guys❤
Faye Bug That statement is really bullsh*t. I'm glad someone agrees with me and understands.
It literally makes no sense. Like apply it to any other crime and it's so obvious. Oh what do you mean he set you on fire? Well he's your boyfriend so it doesn't count. Honestly the ignorance of some people astounds me.
Jessica Williams that's like saying "Oh well, it was their boyfriend who stabbed them so it cant be murder!"
+Alexandre Smart, great point.
Me too, so many rapes are by partners
3:13 "It makes you feel guilty about having wanted to be close with somebody, having been flirting with someone, or having trusted somebody.. No, That's not a sin."
"Why didn't you fight harder?"
Yeah like I didn't try
And like I wanted him to kill me
hello, fellow system.
we were 4, and the inability and impotence of not being able to defend himself no matter how hard he tried if what gave one of my mates a severe PTSD that would give him flashbacks anytime someone did anything to our body without we wanting it, even unpredicted touches. We were punished by the school everytime we had flashbacks because bullying is "normal", it doesn't give a negative image to the school, but having a flashback gives a bad image to the school, so we had to be punished for "throwing a tentrum for no reason", because "they did nothing", "just control yourself".
It's only now, looking back then, that we see how much horrible that atrocity was.
“You must’ve wanted it a little bit”
Oh excuse me he was my father and I was almost asleep and 14.
That question makes me sick.
"That question makes me sick."
No. “You must’ve wanted it a little bit” isn't a question.
knrdvmmlbkkn that’s not the important part, you jerk
"that’s not the important part, you jerk"
Do you actually think that addding "you jerk" makes your argument stronger (rather than weaker)?
knrdvmmlbkkn I’m not arguing I’m telling. I just thought you would like to know I thought you were a jerk
Oh god cringe, I hope you’re doing well
Men can be sexually assaulted but sadly they are less likely to report them 😢😢
How tho? I dont get it
Gold Rose I wouldn’t blame the #metoo. It’s society. The same one that shames men for speaking out about it. #Metoo helps victims learn that they aren’t alone
That's is the harsh reality and because of the stigma of men being sexually assaulted. To a certain extent, society is kind of sympathetic towards women being raped because women are considered the fairer sex. Unfortunately for men, society scoffs at the idea of men being raped. Men are suppose to be strong and be able to physically protect themselves according to society. So there's no possible way that a man can be overpowered by another man or woman for that matter. Tell that to men who were drugged, beaten, retrained, overpowered by their rapist, no matter how hard they tried to fight back. The harsh reality is that anyone could be sexually assaulted no matter the gender,race, religion, age, socioeconomic background, attire a person is wearing, etc.
Nomsa Ntuli Stereo typically guys usually are the ones who rape not the other way around in a majority of people’s minds so it’s hard for them to understand and realize that it does actually happen to men as well.
Men can get assulted by men, and forced to sex by women.
“Why didn’t you fight”
Um I was 3
"why didn't you report it?"
oh I don't know. because no one believes the assaulted person and the fact that I'm terrified of the man.
I love how brave these people are, coming out and talking about this
I was thinking the same thing
Mayumi Garcia Should have been one of those notes.
I doubt that gay man was raped by a straight man though. The 'straight man' was clearly gay or bisexual or confused.
He commented it because the man in the video said in the beginning that people accused him of having lived a fantasy by being assaulted by a straight man. Waldemar didn't say anything about knowing someone's sexuality just by looking at them.
The guy himself claimed that a 'straight man' sexually assaulted him so the attacker must of been gay. A straight rapist would raped a woman not a man. LikeSTokio is correct as I never said I knew the sexuality of the man, it's just obvious that a gay man would rape another man unless he was bisexual but h's definitely not straight.
Marital rape is also a thing people don't talk about.
not trying to be rude/ignorant, but what is marital rape?
JamesHailBot i think it is when the rapist and the victim are married
yasmine enaimi oh! I was reading it wrong, sorry! my mind didn't quite process the word as it's supposed to
Not even illegal or considered rape in my country 🤗 yay
Who Dunnit Do you live under Sharia? If so I feel bad for you xx
"You must've enjoyed it at least a little"
I was 12. TWELVE. No twelve-year-old, or anyone for that matter, asks to be sexually assaulted and/or raped.
People: Why didn’t you fight back
Me: I’m gonna fight my uncle
Yes because hes attacking you.
@@rodan9773 It might be so unexpected, confusing, and scary the thought of fighting back doesn't even occur. Especially if they were a child.
Why I didn’t fight back, he threatened to hurt my brothers. What I was wearing, a T-shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie. Was I drunk? No. Did I want it? No. Did I say “no” and made it clear? Yes.
It’s NOT my fault and to anyone who’s gone through this please remember that it’s NOT your fault either.
Sora Night Sky YES EXACTLY 👏🏻
Sora Night Sky ❤
Sora Night Sky Couldn’t be said any better.
Of course it's not the victims fault.
Preach!
They covered the "Men can't be raped" misconception but they left out "Women can't rape" I was raped by three girls when I was young and I've had so many people be like "Oh, that's not really rape" or "At least it wasn't a man" And I'm just like wtf is wrong with you?
I know a guy who was asked, "Why are you upset? It was free sex." Just...I can't even. He was also told he must have enjoyed it, because there are way too many stupid people out there who don't realize a boner is an involuntary response to external stimulus.
Yup. Was waiting for that to be mentioned myself. Also, women can also sexually assault women. Generally, anyone can be a rapist and anyone can be a victim.
MsKsmith1234 . So? No matter what the gender people shouldn’t be sexual assaulted and shouldn’t sexual assault other people
"But the huge majority of perpetrators are men."
What makes you believe that?
Raye J I'm very sorry that happened.
I know there are some people who need to hear this:
I believe you
It’s NEVER your fault
I will stand beside you
I respect your choice if you do not report it right away, I know it’s hard. But if please talk to someone you love and trust and know will support you. Please talk to a therapist as well.
Know that we understand the fact you couldn’t fight back.
Know that you are not alone.
ᴡʜɪᴍsɪᴄᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ thank you my adoptive mom told me it was my fault when a different guy did it. So when the 3rd guy did it a year later I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would believe me. Thank you
Shayna Krutsch no problem. I hate that people have to go through things like that. I hope you are getting support and love you deserve✨💕
Just say you believe them to make them feel better. Lying is sometimes okay.
All of them are really brave to speak up. I mean, if I was there I would completely sobbing
And you’re valid for feeling that way I hope you are well today
Yesterday, I read about a woman, who had been getting extreme hate because she didn't inform her rapist that she was HIV-positive, before he raped her. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
The rapist deserved it lol
"She didn't INFORM HER RAPIST" DID THE RAPIST INFORM HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER!!. that is sick
poor girl
seriously. those person are sick.
Aabidah L Shame on the rapist. He deserves it
I was told I wasn't raped because I was in a relationship with him. My parents don't believe me, nor do my friends.. and I'm seen as a psycho. This guy is walking free, believing he's done nothing wrong at all. I didn't report him because no one believed me, I had no evidence and I was too scared. I live everyday being the guilty one, and he's living an amazing life. It's ruined my life, and I can't do anything about it.
Lydmeredith I believe you.
its never to late to report it ❤
Lydmeredith I have been in that situation. But dont feel guilty. You don't need to feel that way. It isn't your fault
Lydmeredith 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
b11 5 what if the statue of limitation is up then what its Probably more other girls out there that he'd raped besides me who knows???
I was sexually assaulted for over 5 months last year by a best friend. Im in therapy to deal with my ptsd and im hoping ill get better soon.
I was sexually abused in my relationship. Everything that was happening to me I had the worst gut feeling about, became depressed and anxious and I didn’t want to admit that this was not normal in a relationship. The relationship was emotionally abusive as well and lasted longer than it should have. I did not tell my friends about it until about 6 months after the relationship ended and that’s when they made me come to terms that I was being sexually abused and now i am able to work out these emotions
I was molested until I was 11 when I got my first period by my grandfather, and I never understood what was happening until I was about 12 I felt horrible, my parents always noticed a sudden change around that age and always asked me what was wrong and I couldn't bring up the courage to say something. I lost my relationship with my father and my brother because I didn't trust anyone. My grandfather lived in the same house as us so he would do it when my parents weren't home when he was baby sitting me, My grandmother was even home! Thankfully he never penetrated me however he tried to use his fingers to "open" me wider I think, it hurt... I feel disgusted everytime I think about it. I knew it wasn't my fault but it killed me everyday not telling anyone. One day I was having an argument with my parent and it spilled out... I never felt more relief and scared in my life. My parents believed me because my aunts and mum went through the same with him for their whole lives. He went to hospital that night faking a heart attack and never admitted what he did and soon after took his own life leaving my dementia prone grandmother behind. I've been through therapy and changed my outlook on life, I still cry sometimes it's normal. Sorry for the long post but I've never posted it anywhere and seeing all your stories encouraged me to. So thank you internet for siding with us real victims love you all and hope you find your peace like I'm trying to. ❤️❤️❤️
Esme Medrano it's disgusting, what some people can do.. I'm sending virtual hug
I was really encouraged by people’s stories too, people’s testimonies are powerful things. You sound like one strong ass individual though and I was really moved by your story so thank you for sharing!
Esme Medrano im so sorry hon, no judgement here just sending love and hugs your way. All power to you and other people who are willing to talk about what they went through. I was first touched when I was 11 years old. Just once.
That was so intense :((
You poor thing. Sending thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻
The situation with your grandad is very similar to one I’ve heard. It’s disgusting how the rapists always repeat the same behaviours
Again sending my love and support, I hope you find peace💞
I am 13 and I was sexually assaulted by one of my “friends”. I liked him because he was nice to me and he was cute of course. He kept telling me that I was beautiful. At school he would always tell me that he wanted to go outside or just meet up with me and we could “do things”. At the time, I didn’t think much of it and that I was mature and I could handle anything that happened. Once we had walked out he lead me into the woods almost (tall grass behind the school), he told me to get down, he was kind of intimidating and scary in a way, so I did. Then I kept saying “no,no I can’t.” Then he pushed my head. He also grabbed my butt, touched me and made me touch him even more. I knew it was wrong but I still didn’t leave. Once I went into school, this happened before school, I was called into the office and had to tell the principal ,my parents, and my grandma. And had to report it to the police so my principal wouldn’t get in trouble. This was the WORST experience of my life. Ever since then people at my school call me a hoe, slut, etc and that I wanted it. They say that I walked out there with him so it couldn’t have been rape. And tell me how disgusting I am. I have cried almost every night since then and it was in august. I also feel that it was my fault. And everyone knows me as the girl who is easy. I have also been asked by many other guys to( you can fill in the blank) or they say ,out loud in the halls, to never do anything with me because I’ll just cry rape.
if you have read this far I hope you know that it isn’t ok to victim shame and that words do truly hurt.
And that if you have been assaulted yourself that you CAN overcome it and that what happened to you doesn’t make who you are. ❤️
Karly Llorens~
Hey sweet girl,
I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry that people have been especially cruel and unkind to you after the fact. You absolutely did not deserve what happened to you and regardless of what any fool tries to tell you, this was not your fault. No different from any other person who has been sexually assaulted. Sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape are more about power and control than sex. Sex is to rape like a kiss is to a punch in the mouth. Don't let anyone tear you down, sweet girl, and don't think that the ugly words they may call you or the ugly things they may tell you to do have any power over you. You still have YOU, precious one, and only you gets to decide who you are going forward. Be strong. You are strong. If no one in your family will help you get the counseling and help you desperately need and deserve now, please do NOT give up. Remind yourself every single day that you are strong, smart, and that you are beautiful, dammit. You can be the Phoenix who will rise above the ashes of this awful experience and rise above to become the You that you want to be. Try to find someone who is safe, who you can trust and try to get yourself some help. There are many rape hotlines and outreach programs out there-- make some contact with one and be your best advocate. This happened and I am so sorry. It doesn't change the fact that you are still a precious and important person in this world, kiddo. Be strong, be safe, be kind to yourself and take good care of you. Much love sweet girl. Hang in there.
Heather Veronica
Thank you so much for this. Today was not so good so this made my day. Words may just be words but your words are so encouraging. While I was reading your comment, I was thinking in my mind “ yes girl, she is beautiful” and then I remembered that you were replying to ME and that just made me so happy for someone to say to me. It made me realized that even thought there are nasty people out there, there are still good people. I have been thinking lately that I DO need to start thinking positive about myself. I have body issues( who doesn’t) and I’ve decided to do something about it. I’ve started working out to loose some weight so I, ME, MYSELF can be happy with me. And I am very excited for the weeks and months ahead. Again, thank you so much for your reply... it really helped. ❤️
Karly Llorens
You are very welcome!
I'm glad to hear that my words were helpful to you. Something about you just stood out to me and told me that you needed someone to reach out to you and give you a "virtual hug". I meant every single word I said and still do. My hope and prayer for you Karly is that you can get the help, support, and love that you need, not just now, but for all your days going forward. Take care of you and be safe precious one.❤
You deserve good things!
Come find me if you need me...
Now im kinda sad
*grabs AK 47* OKAY WHERE THEY AT
“You should’ve fought back!”
I was 7
"I don't believe you, you were too young to remember."
I was raped by seven men from my church as a child. It took me five years to remember it and press charges. Why would I make this up, why don't you believe me? I feel so alone in this world and it's suffocating knowing that I'll never get justice.
I hope you're doing better. I know this is cliche but please stay strong.
I hope for your recovery and I pray that you will be able to overcome it
Oh....I am so sorry to hear about it sister...Please Stay Strong...I have no idea about what are you going through but i am pretty sure that thing's would eventually get better....I am just 16 so if my advice was childish i am sorry for that and i would also like to apologize for my poor English....Pls Take Care Of Yourself Sister...
I'm sorry that's so sad, I hope you are doing well
My school had this talk where a women came in and talked about her experience. She says although she was young when she was raped, she never wears skirts or dresses because she wore a dress to a party and someone asked her if thats what she got raped in.
Then a man came who said he was raped by a women who had drugged him. Someone next ti me said that it was FAKE, i dont talk to that person anymore. Rape isnt a gender thing. Men can get raped by women or men just as much as women can get raped by men or women. At the end of the talk the man got up, with a tear down his eye and said
" Being raped dosent define who you are, but it defines who the rapist is"
Then the women got up and said
" Being raped dosent define who I am, but it defines what society thinks of me"
This hit me. Well, i have anxiety issues, but this hit me.
Shae Moors shut up please it’s an opinion
@@willistech6108 Yeah you're definitely the one who should shut up.
I have a girl in my class who says that men can‘t be raped by a women and I‘m like bish shut up pls.
There's something you've cleared up for me that for a long time I felt bad and confused about since society always said it was a guy raping a girl- rarely a girl raping a guy. But saying that a guy can rape a guy and a girl can rape a girl..just..thankyou for bringing that up..
Women report rape more than men
I remember in elementary school, we had sex ED, and there our teacher read a story of a stepdad touching a girl at night and how she thought she shouldn't tell her mom because she might get angry at her so the girl told the teacher, who told the mother and then she broke up with the stepdad and he went to jail.
I always thought how horrible this situation is and how I am so happy to not go through this.
One year later (when I was 10 years old or so) EXACTLY this situation happened.
But when I told my mother at the age of 15, she didn't believe me.
Life is not like in the books.
I’m so sorry for what happened to you. That happened to me I was scared to tell my mom I was even younger than you because the person told me that if I said a word he would kill my hole family and take me away and keep doing that to me I’m so sorry that you had to go through that
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I can't say that I know what it's like.
I believe you. Hope you've found peace now.
That's sickening, something needs to be done.. are you okay?
http.alicia.at sex ED in elementary?
"why didnt you fight"
"what were you wearing"
i was *nine* and wearing sweats.
Most of time I get
"you put yourself in that situation"
"Did it felt good?"
"Was he good at it?"
"Why are you saying this now?"
"But you're a lesbian? It doesn't make sense."
"Why didn't you fight back or just say no?"
*"YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE HIM"*
I wish I can make this up I really do
W o w
That’s so fucked up that people have said that to you
I’ve had it happen to me but luckily I have had *some* people support me but then I have had stupid question like the ones in the video but the ones you said make me want to give you a massive hug I’m so sorry you had to hear that from people! Xx
"You have to forgive him." Why? Why should anyone forgive that? How do they deserve forgiveness?
@@backisayback5147 thank you that means a lot to me, I'm glad you got support and i hope your doing really well
Jailbird's Jailhouse you got me at why are you saying this now. Bro I kept it down for years on end. Now I just want to live for myself.
I get "but youre a lesbian, and she's a girl, so you must have liked it."
“Why didn’t you report it” because I was 5 and it was my step brother and I just thought we were “ playing doctors” as he said
cheekygirl 15 your lying clearly
Rory Douglas gee you don’t have to assume like that, they could and probably are telling the truth
If he was your age or like 2 years older you that wasnt rape...
@@Lea-dq2uy even if he was seven, he tricked a five year old to be sexually assaulted. And, you know, THAT SHIT ISN'T RIGHT
@@Lea-dq2uy why not?
0:08 "but youre gay, and he was straight, isnt that a bit of a fantasy?"
you can see how he tries to keep smiling but cant quite do it...
he's a strong strong man to talk about it
If a straight guy raped another guy doesn't that technically make the straight guy gay?
that's where you know he's lying and most likely drugged someone into sexually assaulting him.
@@cookiecutter5162 The guy can be straight and he may have felt it was a joke, but it went too far. That's how a straight guy may sexually assault a gay guy. Maybe, he did things to mess with him, because he's gay, because it was like a joke to that (straight) guy.
explain again "how a straight guy may sexually assault a gay guy"...a 'joke' doesn't explain it. doesn't happen bud.
When I told my rape story to my psychiatrist after 2 years of depression and suicide attempts, she said: Why do you think it's necessary for me to know that? People don't always seem to understand and I guess it's hard for them to put themselves in someone elses situation.
Sack her stay strong
After many years of being stalked, after having encountered corrupt security forces, corrupt cops, corrupt doctors, as well as corrupt psychologists, I can only say one thing: it does not pay to report such things to someone you do not know and do not know whether you can trust that someone or not.
"You're lying" or "That didn't happen"
(Anything that implies it was made up if not included)
My ex's mom was repeatedly raped by her brother-in-law when she was 13 (he was 22). Her parents refused to believe her every time she told them. I don't care the reason, it still baffles me
"They could be lying" Alright but so could literally anybody else about any crime. Assault,grand theft,murder, anything. Yet somehow it seems like sexually assaulted people get the worst of the "they could be lying".
MargaritaMolly with in 2 day span, it has evidence in their area, but u can't take a shower cuz seaman will go out. They go to doctor to do a test. but yeah they could be lying if they dont have evidence
MargaritaMolly yeah um most other crimes have a lot of physical forms of evidence
MargaritaMolly because it's hard to prove.
No they don't.
Insurance scams happen all the time.
Chainhog IdkwhatToPutAsLastNameXD Imagine someone saying that they got something stolen from them. And you asked "are you sure you didn't let them take it? You didn't give it to them?"
This doesn't happen with any other crime.
"to tell my parents I was raped was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life"..
When I told my mom that some guy raped me and that I was ashamed and afraid of my life, I heard her heart breaking .. I hated to tell her that her daughter got raped. It was the sadest moment in my life..
Jimin Suga
I believe you.
Are you okay and have you gotten help?
I can't imagine what you've been through. But you are very strong. I don't know what I would do at your place. You had the courage to tell someone. I probably wouldn't.
Plus your username with my 2 biases..girl, I wish you the best👍
I'm so afraid of sexual assualt and I live in the country with the most sexual assault
asprbr shut up, this is a serious topic
My told.me I was a liar :)
All these comments are making my heart break. I am so sorry you all had to deal with these traumatic events
"Maybe it was an accident?"
no jerry, grabbing someone's private spot cannot be an accident.
The "I believe you" really does feel good. A man who used to do my hair, was told about the situation because I was really young and he said, "Are you sure you didn't tempt him?" .... I don't know how an 8 year old tempts a grown man but okay...
I agree with the 8 year old comment. That is why I make a point to always believe in children, over something so serious. My Mum failed me in this and I never want to make the same mistake as her.
MITCH!!!!
Endless Awakening That is the most wonderful thing you can do.
We should start believing in children more or at least give them enough support for them to know who they can turn to when they really need help.
Okay first of all, I know right. I was 7 years old when someone molested me, and I've stopped telling people because I always got those comments. "You should've just fought back" "You could've done something" NO. I WAS SEVEN. Second of all, hEY FELLOW PENTAHOLIC
I agree that you shouldn't be asked whether you tempted him or anything like that, however when it comes to sexual assault victims coming forward, it seems people forget about the idea of innocent until proven guilty and expect the justice system to simply arrest someone based on your word.
I've known women and men who've been sexually assaulted, as children and adults, and their wildly varied stories only have ONE thing in common: the people (family/friends/police) who should've been helpful & supportive after the attack did more damage with questions & reactions like those mentioned here than the actual attacker. The victims get over the physical damage quickly, but the blame & lack of support stays with them for years, sometimes a lifetime.
Physically, bruises, cuts, sores, usually heal (though sometimes it does leave more permanant physical scars) but yes, emotionally it damages you
Yes could not agree more @33 just realizing how much self blame I went through all my adult life and how it has stopped me from even knowing who I really am. Just now realized I need help. The closest people failed me and it was not the first time and it still hurts so so much.
Yes I agree!!! That's what really happens and because you didn't get support that time, you develop trust issues. And you don't get the closure needed to move on. Leaving you in this weird situation
Absolutely. So well said
Dennis Staughton I have to say, that was very well worded!
I was maybe 10 years old when my cousin started “playing” with me. I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong, even though he told me to keep it a secret. I didn’t realize it was assault at the time because it tickled me, but it messed me up as I grew older. He made me perform acts I didn’t want to do. One day I told my parents what was happening, and I was punished (so was he.) I don’t know what happened to him, but I could never look at him the same way again. But he seems like he doesn’t even care, like what he did was just nothing. He was three years older than me, but he has gone through puberty at that time and the age gap was much bigger than it actually was. This was my experience, and I know this isn’t as severe as other stories. I just wanted to share.
1. Were you drunk?
Yes, I was blacking out for a lot of it and apparently I said yes, from what he said. Doesn't make it any less of an assault.
2. What were you wearing?
My regular clothes, jeans and a t-shirt I believe. Why does that matter? Clothing does not equal consent.
3. Men can't be sexually assaulted.
They can, end of.
4. Why didn't you fight?
Again, I was passing out while drunk, I couldn't respond or give consent.
5. You must have wanted it a little bit.
This one actually makes me upset, I didn't and the man who did it I legit fear as a dangerous and unstable person.
6. Why didn't you report it?
I reported it to my university and they did nothing about it, dismissed it due to 'lac of evidence', although he was kicked out of my uni still thank god so I pray I'll never see him again.
@Tony Hawk I'm sorry I wasn't expecting to be sexually assaulted. Maybe you shouldn't victim blame here and instead ask why the guy I thought was my friend decided to violate me when I wasn't in the state to consent?
Tony Hawk shut the hell up idiot
Sending love, hope you’re okay and hope my comment didn’t trigger anything with the notif xx
"Why didn't you report it?"
1) Because my dad sided with the molester and told me to keep it a secret.
2) Because if I did, he straight up would have been kilked. And you can't just ask an eight year old to deal with that.
"Why didn't you report it?"
1) I was scared, he was my best friends brother, I didn't want to ruin their family.
2) I didn't understand how serious it was, I wasn't even a teen yet.
Only 8? That's like the age of my bby sister and i would rip apart whoever touched her with my bare hands. I'm sorry for what u experienced at such a young age
What's even more frightening is that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone that the victim knows. It can be hard to defend yourself or speak up when suddenly one of your friends or family members turns on you. These people are brave for speaking up about their experience
Oh Hol thats true tbh my situation was that i was too scared to say something in the beginning. Im in 8th grade and he was my friend so wen he touched me for over 2 years and at first i told him to stop and he would. But it got worse and i would tell my friends and they would say its nothing, that im over exaggerating. So i didnt say anything but it was getting worse and it became a everyday thing. And i couldn't fight him cuz he is too strong and when people would witness this in school they would ignore it. But it was coming to the fact that i was scared for my life and that any day i would get raped in school. I couldnt stand it anymore and told my bestfriend. He told me why didnt you tell me before and why didnt you tell a teacher or parent. 1st i held from telling him because first im scared of how he would react and if he wouldnt care. 2nd i can NEVER tell my mom because im not even supposed to sit by boys and i didnt tell a teacher too because in my school the principals dont do anything but in fact blame the victims. So my bestfriend asked if i was ok or not but all i could say is that i am partially that its my fault. I felt it was my fault it got out of hand and that im weak. One day he forced me to the back of the stairs and tried to made me do things to him. And i was crying and helpless but thank god he heard people in the hallway so he ran. And wen i felt safe i called my best friend. He comforted me and didnt ask questions until i felt better. And at some point he got angry and said im letting him take advantage over me that i need to find a way to escape. He was about to confront him and tell my teacher, but i was crying and told him not to and so he stopped. Since im moving schools i was ok with finishing the end of the school year. He was there for me and was quick to help me when i needed help. Now school is over and im happy but sad i wont ever talk to my bestfriend again. I let the boy go because i felt that it was my fault for not stopping it in the beginning, but ik someone or something will give him what he deserves.
It's not your fault. Consent is always needed, 100%. He did not respect your consent, so he is the one at fault. I'm sorry you went through that and how you felt you couldn't tell anyone
Oh Hol thx tho im just happy i left
For me it was a friend of mine. it took me about a week to tell someone
For me it was my boyfriend at the time...
I had a friend that lied about being raped 3 times, shes 14 and said that she had an abortion. It makes me sick. She's the kind of people who give rape victims the stereotypes of "their lying"
I just discovered this channel and it's amazing, this is my favorite video so far. As someone who was assaulted this hits home, thank you for making this video.
Thanks for not just including women
Christopher Jones there is a power play in the rape and although rape against men by women is 100% possible and has happened more than once its extremely uncommon due to not only cultural aspects but also evolutionary aspects. The average height for a woman is 5’4 while the average height for a man is 6 inches more at 5’10. Men tend to carry more muscles and be more muscular than women which makes it easier to hold down, grab things. As well as the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. The reason rape is more commonly shown as a male on a woman is because evidence wise and just the way people are physically built it would be much easier for a man to overpower a woman than the other way around. Still talking about male rape victims is extremely important and necessary for the normalization of boys and men asking for help when they’ve been assaulted, raped, or abused. So it was good they included a male.
Elle D I’m 100% willing to talk about the violence experienced by men within all settings but I will not discuss it when it’s being used as a tactic to distract from the atrocities committed against women. DONT ONLY BRING UP MENS ISSUES WHEN DISCUSSING WOMENS ISSUES.
Elle D men being raped is extremely important to discuss, and the normalization and promotion of men asking for help and sharing their experiences is vital to the fight of ending rape and sexual violence against all people. However it’s extremely disrespectful and disappointing to not only the women you invalidate by throwing their rape to the side because “men don’t get talked about enough” but to the men as well who’s rape is only brought up and considered valid when used to discredit rape statistics amongst women.
@@samobrien2590 please don't... This isn't okay.
Fazluna I never said it was. My perspective has changed but my message wasn’t ever disregard them in fact I said several times not to and that supporting male victims is important and necessary. However my view on assault has widened with meeting more male victims. I stand by the fact that statistics prove this is a more common female experience than men but Im disappointed in my words for everything else. Perspective and education change in a year.
I was 8 years old and he was 14 I was playing and I lived in a apartment. He followed me in and he tried to touch me I was biting he hands and pushing him. He didn't success I fought for myself. My brother was 7 and he stod outside the door I was yelling for help. But luckily he didn't touch me. I told my mom, my mom told my dad. My dad talked to him and he said "I was just kidding with her"....
Wtfff he was 14? At least he lost
Same I was 8 or 9 and a family member, who was 17 and I thought I could trust, sexually assaulted, before anything escalated my mom walked in the room
i was 5 or 6 and he was 11 or 12, people tell me it wasnt rape because of his age. idk about you, but i feel like 12 year olds know better than to rape someone.
Similar thing, I was 7 or 8 and he was 13 or so.
And did you dad slap him or punch him? Get the other parents involved? Like come on!!!
"why didn't you report it?"
well...my mother walked in on it happened and didn't believe me, so why would a stranger? plus I was 10 years old....didn't even know what was happening was wrong so yeah
I'm sorry that had happened to you
I am nearly 60 yrs old and he was my best friend. I don't know if I can trust anyone ever. I apparently have no judgement.
hope you are doing better. stay strong.
"Were you drunk?" "What were you wearing?"
Bruh i was 13 and had just got out of softball practice. the skin on my arms is totally sexy smh
NO ONE should go through that
It's more so of a situational standard, say if you were 18, dressed like a Persian stripper, and drunk as fuck, as well as on strong drugs then the possibility of being raped is raised, but you also have to take into the account the desperation the Rapist needs for sex. Unluckily some person thought it was nice to see a 13 year old in a softball outfit and decided to do things, very similar to how my own Auntie raped me in my sleep when I was 14, her justification was that I was having a wet dream, so I obviously wanted to fuck someone right?
"very similar to how my own Auntie raped me in my sleep"
In your sleep? So how did you get to know about it?
knrdvmmlbkkn when they woke up possibly
"when they woke up possibly"
So how does one know what happened prior to that?
Went to the comments expecting to see disgusting people talking about the man in this video, and was pleasantly surprised to see otherwise. *Faith in humanity restored*
Same. Been scrolling for about 10 minutes and have only seen people be hard on people who say things like "men cant be raped"
I like that. I only get irritated when people go so far as to say, "men get r*ped just as much as women" because no bruh, 90% of victims are women.
@@philiphamilton9162 and 90% of rapers are men, at least when we're talking about adult victims. Call me a feminist, but facts are facts.
I would love to see a comment that said anything blaming the victim cause if I do I will track you down and replace there floors with legos and put poison in there sugar and needles in there food and kidnap there pets
"you should've use a non revealing clothes"
dude,I was in 2nd grade,elementry school,in uniform
I'm a guy ,i was abused by a woman, alot of people say 'surely you wanted it' , nope, i was 11.
Im sorry that happened 2 u