My 3 EASY TRICKS To Make First Dates Less AWKWARD | Matthew Hussey

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2014
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    ***
    First dates are primed to be awkward.
    We're going out with someone we've met for only 5 or 10 minutes usually, perhaps not at all, and so first dates have the potential to be extremely awkward if you don't set yourself up in the right way.
    Here are 3 quick tips to make the whole process smoother and less awkward...
    1) Touch early and often
    A mistake people often make is that as they don't know someone well, and because they don't want to seem too keen, they don't get at all tactile.
    The problem with this in the first part of a date is that the longer you leave it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes.
    For a guy, the most pain-staking, horrible scenario is the time when you've barely touched the woman you're with throughout the entire date, and at the end you want to kiss her. This makes the move of only a few centimetres feel like a mountain to climb.
    Touch allows for a smoother transition through each stage.
    As a woman you have the power to set the tone for this by giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek when you first see him. This isn't desperate; it just conveys that you're someone who's warm.
    2) Don't sit opposite each other
    Sitting opposite one another immediately creates awkwardness. Reason being, when there's a silence, there's nowhere to turn (but facing each other).
    If you're sitting adjacent to or next to someone, you can watch the world together.
    Now, when there's a silence, it's not awkward, it's just a silence while you're both looking out to whatever's in front of you. When you're ready to restart the conversation, you can turn to your side and carry on.
    3) Do something externally focused
    I'm going to say this bluntly: The worse you are at conversation, the more external focus you need.
    If you're an amazing conversationalist, you can take someone to the corner of a quiet bar and talk all night, creating an amazing connection.
    If you're someone who's a little nervous, and you know that it takes a while for you to warm up, you have to do something where there's external activity. Examples could be a museum or a comedy show, or on a more subtle level it could be something as simple as taking a walk together.
    Even if you were sitting on a busy park bench people-watching, this allows you to comment on things outside of yourselves, as opposed to having the sole focus on the two of you and the conversation you're having.
    ***
    Website: howtogettheguy.com
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,6 тис.

  • @fozzer19
    @fozzer19 8 років тому +17318

    hands in the bucket if u have watched this before a first date hahaha

    • @amylovelock5584
      @amylovelock5584 8 років тому +32

      👍👍👍

    • @kwann6286
      @kwann6286 7 років тому +19

      me

    • @billywingrove27
      @billywingrove27 7 років тому +374

      i will have one in a few days and i am terrified I have been watching these types of videos for a few hrs now :D

    • @Bloominix
      @Bloominix 6 років тому +9

      +Nasko K. Dimov how did it go????

    • @aliciaf4744
      @aliciaf4744 6 років тому +32

      tomorrow ahh

  • @WafflePunk47
    @WafflePunk47 7 років тому +10834

    proof that confidence can make any shirt look good

    • @danm1063
      @danm1063 5 років тому +624

      This is stupid true. Looks like a potato rag

    • @sub7se7en
      @sub7se7en 5 років тому +230

      But it doesn't look good.

    • @genericyoutubeusername8418
      @genericyoutubeusername8418 5 років тому +269

      Nope his shirt still sucks.

    • @abdulkek4821
      @abdulkek4821 5 років тому +59

      A Good looking girl make any dress look Good

    • @SakuroAlex
      @SakuroAlex 5 років тому +72

      His face makes up. For it

  • @Leila-yk8li
    @Leila-yk8li 4 роки тому +958

    Dude im going on a date in 2 hours i feel like im going to war 😂😂😂😂

  • @No0neButMe
    @No0neButMe 4 роки тому +538

    I'm going on a zoom date do to quarantine and the first tip is "TOUCH EARLY AND OFTEN"

    • @jenniferzhou8635
      @jenniferzhou8635 3 роки тому +16

      What a mood lmao

    • @Chris-zx1ez
      @Chris-zx1ez 3 роки тому +47

      I find video calls with my friends awkward fuck that.

    • @vay4310
      @vay4310 3 роки тому +7

      a zoom date is such a cute idea tho

    • @izzy926
      @izzy926 3 роки тому +10

      @@Chris-zx1ez broo me too , i hate calling people

    • @discotrain173
      @discotrain173 3 роки тому +3

      How did your zoom date go man?

  • @kreshameee2222
    @kreshameee2222 7 років тому +5559

    Don't have a date tonight, tomorrow or maybe even next month, just watching these dating videos just in case.

    • @carloscoriano2871
      @carloscoriano2871 6 років тому +75

      Lol wanna go out?

    • @LettuceBunnies
      @LettuceBunnies 6 років тому +129

      Carlos Coriano how does it feel? To be a pathetic loser?

    • @thaylamay3531
      @thaylamay3531 6 років тому +120

      Skeleton Clique takes one to know one.

    • @BADGYALSHI
      @BADGYALSHI 6 років тому +4

      Same same same

    • @rayoflight7416
      @rayoflight7416 6 років тому +33

      Skeleton Clique wtf bro, you havin a tough time?

  • @thereturnofthepotato8850
    @thereturnofthepotato8850 7 років тому +5637

    I have been binge watching date vids my first date is in an hour! Wish me luck

    • @malksme
      @malksme 7 років тому +175

      yo how was it!?

    • @thereturnofthepotato8850
      @thereturnofthepotato8850 7 років тому +446

      ***** It was awesome!!

    • @malksme
      @malksme 7 років тому +126

      PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT IIIT!

    • @thereturnofthepotato8850
      @thereturnofthepotato8850 7 років тому +496

      It was so fun we went to a fair and rode a bunch of rides!! On the way back in fell asleep on his shoulder and it was so exciting!!

    • @malksme
      @malksme 7 років тому +99

      ooh yayy! congrats ;)

  • @dylanbryant4714
    @dylanbryant4714 4 роки тому +1222

    1. Touch early and often (the longer you wait the more awkward it gets) (being warm is not being desperate)
    2. Don’t sit opposite each other (it immediately gets awkward) park bench style allows you to people watch or not be forced to look at each other during silent moments.
    3.do something that involves actual external focus, especially if you aren’t a conversation expert)

    • @kozzydreamz
      @kozzydreamz 3 роки тому +32

      Why’s it weird to sit across from each other I see that all the time

    • @Kangaroo-Bob
      @Kangaroo-Bob 3 роки тому +2

      Thankyou!

    • @not242
      @not242 3 роки тому +13

      @@kozzydreamz If you're looking to romance a woman it is much easier when you can initiate physical touch during the date, and this isn't really possible when sitting across from each other. If you're great at conversation you can get away with it, but many people will find that the date is more enjoyable when you are adjacent to each other

    • @bodacious9885
      @bodacious9885 3 роки тому +53

      i literally made every single mistake

    • @clcamila
      @clcamila Рік тому

      @@bodacious9885 🤣🤣

  • @sampiazza7483
    @sampiazza7483 5 років тому +791

    These are really great tips for people with social anxiety.

    • @nnacamille4682
      @nnacamille4682 3 роки тому +1

      Sam ve u hear about quick hookup if you're interested lemme know🇱🇷✈️

    • @UkSapyy
      @UkSapyy 2 роки тому +5

      *Warning* STI alert

  • @waswillstdu3779
    @waswillstdu3779 7 років тому +7384

    I have a Date tomorrow and im so nervous. Im quite a shy person and im so scared of arkward silence
    Edit: holy shit I never realized that this had so many comments. So for everyone asking, that was my first date (I was 16 or 17). I think it went better than expected, there was no awkward silence. No we didn’t end up in a relationship.

  • @alexolotl764
    @alexolotl764 10 років тому +3604

    ''don't sit opposite each other'' AMEN! finally someone said that, thank you. I find it so awkward

    • @Dr.Nantiwa
      @Dr.Nantiwa 4 роки тому +57

      I did that with my ex almot always and it would always be awkward. Learnt from that never to sit opposite to each other

    • @carriebalberg5478
      @carriebalberg5478 4 роки тому +147

      What about eating dinner?

    • @user-qb4ke6gm5b
      @user-qb4ke6gm5b 4 роки тому +1

      Truth

    • @ruffe7655
      @ruffe7655 3 роки тому +14

      Carrie Balberg yeah that what i was thinking

    • @brettruss3359
      @brettruss3359 3 роки тому +22

      With my gf in the past I love sitting next to her, it allowed me to share food or give her kiss.

  • @heysuz3488
    @heysuz3488 2 роки тому +186

    This was actually so sweet. He’s not a skeevy pick up artist or trying to take advantage of anxious/ socially awkward people. He’s just trying to help and giving real practical tips it’s so refreshing and comforting to see well intentioned and logical people like this

  • @mlpcookiebrownie1006
    @mlpcookiebrownie1006 3 роки тому +355

    “If you initially see him and give him a hug” *laughs in corona*

    • @rialimp
      @rialimp 2 роки тому +6

      laughs still in corona

    • @rptvortex5780
      @rptvortex5780 2 роки тому +2

      @@rialimp laughs still in corona

    • @rialimp
      @rialimp 2 роки тому +7

      @@rptvortex5780 laughs vaccinated

    • @spoopysel261
      @spoopysel261 Рік тому

      @@rptvortex5780 laughs in corona gone

    • @nova4841
      @nova4841 Рік тому

      Laughs in monkeypox

  • @JaySea
    @JaySea 6 років тому +4531

    Shows up to first date, extends arms out: "Hug?.."
    *3 sec pause*
    "No? okay.." :(

    • @0clock275
      @0clock275 6 років тому +90

      Jay Sea Haha the madman himself. Man we really have to go to some club to meet some chicks

    • @superfudge2134
      @superfudge2134 5 років тому +213

      Haha omg i really hope for you that you didnt actually ask her for a hug... women like confidence, which means not asking for permission... you wouldnt ask "sex?" So just go in for a hug whwn you meet her and maybe a kiss on the cheek if you feel like it

    • @williamwillis9586
      @williamwillis9586 5 років тому +12

      Wooooooow it’s Jay. Notice me senpai.

    • @williamwillis9586
      @williamwillis9586 5 років тому +4

      StraightUp Dude it’s obviously a joke.

    • @williamwillis9586
      @williamwillis9586 5 років тому +4

      Morten Stenhaug It’s just a joke obviously.

  • @davidjonathannn950
    @davidjonathannn950 6 років тому +1219

    I don't even have a date wtf am I doing here.

  • @MrGamerman001
    @MrGamerman001 5 років тому +1282

    Me: "Hey, how are you? How was your day?"
    Them: "Not bad, How was yours?"
    Me: " Pretty good, I spent half the morning watching documentaries and coming up with new recipes for my job's menu."
    Them: "Oh, that sounds fun."
    Me: "So what do you like to do in your down time? Do you have any hobbies or interests?"
    Them: " I just chilled and hung out."
    Me: "Um... Well that sounds fun... What do you like to do when you chill?"
    Them: "I like to hang out."
    Me: "Oh that sounds fun. I like to cook and travel. I'd like to go to Spain sometime. Have you traveled much?"
    Them: "No not really."
    Me: "um.... Okay.... What kind of music do you like?"
    Them: "I listen to everything."
    Me: "Uhhh.... Okay... I like a lot of different types of music too. I'm a huge fan of Classic rock, grunge and classical music. It helps me relax since it has some meaning behind it."
    Them: "Ohhh..."
    Me: "Okay, fuck this."

    • @Soupraaaaaa
      @Soupraaaaaa 5 років тому +75

      😂😂😂 dead ass what they say to men lol

    • @jesster777
      @jesster777 5 років тому +170

      Too fuckinf accurate even when a girl hit me up first she was this way like tf u want me to do w u and ur 1 word self

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino 5 років тому +3

      Ahaaaaa!😅

    • @goldenhd9656
      @goldenhd9656 4 роки тому +2

      Lmaoooooppooooppoppoooooooo

    • @weedmastersr
      @weedmastersr 4 роки тому +154

      You had some missed opportunities there. For example, when she said that she didn't travel much, you could've said that it would be fun for the two of you to travel together and then joke about seeing the world together and all the silly mischief you might get yourselves into while doing so. Or when she said she listens of everything, you could've teased her a little and said "Liar, nobody likes everything, come on be real, what's your favorite band", and stuff like that. I know it sucks when you have a conversation partner that does not engage well, but you shouldn't take things too seriously and just use your imagination to good around with her a little. This can create a spark of attraction and make the continuation of the conversation a little easier if she lightens up a little as well. Also, you can alternatively ask her about some things that she cares about the most and then tease her about those.

  • @nemezote
    @nemezote 2 роки тому +95

    1 - Touch early and often.
    2 - Don't sit opposite each other. Sit next to them.
    3 - Do something that involves having external focus, particularly if you are bad at conversation. Such as a walk, hike, or just watching people on a bench.

  • @kimhokenson366
    @kimhokenson366 8 років тому +3952

    About a month ago I went out on a date with a man that I knew was shy. We went to a nice restaurant that was quiet and we sat directly across from one another. Typically I am not a quiet person but I was feeding off of him. We sat there miserable for less then 1 hour and then I went home. After listening to this I called him back up and asked him if he wanted to go for a motorcycle ride. I was shocked that he said yes. But it was perfect. I sat behind him and talked into his ear and got to rub his back and make that first physical connection to let him know I was interested and he was able to get comfortable enough talking to me without having to stare straight at me. This was brilliant! By the time we got back from our road trip and were face to face again we had 3 hours of conversation and 3 hours of things we could look back on and talk about. "Wow wasn't that waterfall amazing it reminded me of this one time..."
    Great advice, keep it coming. ;)

    • @MaelaAmor
      @MaelaAmor 7 років тому +153

      Kim Hokenson wow lol that's interesting. I'm glad it worked out! Good thing you were a little patient! Great story to hear!

    • @F22Raptor723
      @F22Raptor723 7 років тому +37

      That's awesome! cheers

    • @MaryTheresa1986
      @MaryTheresa1986 6 років тому +32

      Kim Hokenson Are you two still together?

    • @Oddme100
      @Oddme100 6 років тому +91

      Sitting directly across from each other should in most cases be avoided. Especially if you're bad at small talk and/or shy.
      I learned this at work. Sitting directly across from someone is confrontational and if there is a lot of tension, the conversation can easily turn into what seems more like an interrogation.
      I'm more shy than most and I know it's off-putting. Once I'm done with my initial shyness, I'm more likeable. At least I hope so. :P
      I think a hiking trip would be a good idea for a first date. At least in the area where I live.

    • @_yellow
      @_yellow 6 років тому +1

      Mary Hunt I second that

  • @kammy2187
    @kammy2187 7 років тому +2877

    just take a shot before a date !

  • @AbbyElise151
    @AbbyElise151 5 років тому +258

    Maybe I am old fashioned, but I HATE kissing on the first or second date especially with someone you met online. A kiss is something pretty intimate and I feel like it says "I am interested in you in a sexual way, and I want to see you again". But with someone you have never met before, or someone you don't know that well, I feel like the first couple dates should be about getting to know that person as a human being, and seeing if you are even attracted to that person in the first place- ITS MORE THAN "oh hes hot". I had a REAALLLY bad first date the other day, where he was nice at first, and we did something super fun and adventurous, but then immediately was turned off because he constantly tried kissing and hugging me. It ruined it, ruined the first impression and now I refuse to see this person. Whereas a guy I dated 3 years, we went on many dates before we kissed, and as I began to become attracted to him, I think it made me more excited to see him and I anticipated that moment more.

    • @SupramanTRD
      @SupramanTRD 4 роки тому +3

      Thelondonbadger that was deep

    • @eneko4509
      @eneko4509 4 роки тому +11

      I understand what your view is about it but I think it really depends on the person. For me, a kiss is not wrong as it is another type of compatibility test. If I am having fun with a person and I see the moment, I will go for the kiss and "test" how well we connect too. A kiss can tell so much about the other person too, is not only about knowing the mental compatibility, is about knowing the physical one too, and imo there is nothing wrong with that. But again i suppose it depends on the person

    • @dian277
      @dian277 2 роки тому +6

      i just watched a video on how men and women date differently. It basically said that women try to make emotional connections first whereas men try to make sexual connections first. Of course, that's generalized and everyone is different in different ways.

    • @Harl3yq1nn
      @Harl3yq1nn 2 роки тому +5

      Omg yes!! I am watching this before a first date and honestly… I don’t want to touch someone I’ve only ever met online the first time I see them in person 👀

    • @marinaom8641
      @marinaom8641 2 роки тому +1

      Totally agree!

  • @jlaux7
    @jlaux7 3 роки тому +64

    I've done the sit beside thing a number of times before. It actually helps immensely with the touch aspect. Reaching out across the table to touch her is rather creepy, but if you're sitting beside her it can come a lot more naturally.

  • @JuliannePanajon
    @JuliannePanajon 8 років тому +853

    getting ready for my first date, oh my world im so nervous

  • @imgonnastealyourgirl
    @imgonnastealyourgirl 9 років тому +1743

    The underside of his face and his voice are almost identical to Daniel Radcliff.

    • @devvandyke1195
      @devvandyke1195 6 років тому +29

      and somehow he's 10 billion times more attractive than Dan. I totally see the resemblance

    • @lucifersdevilishdetails.
      @lucifersdevilishdetails. 6 років тому +17

      Dam you now I hear it and can’t get rid of it

    • @mels1651
      @mels1651 5 років тому +2

      Damn I can't unsee this

    • @ClearBlueSky1
      @ClearBlueSky1 5 років тому +2

      That is so random and true

    • @santanalikesbanana6304
      @santanalikesbanana6304 5 років тому +3

      That’s what I thought I was just hearing this video and I was like ‚Is Harry Potter talking to me right now‘

  • @stooze7470
    @stooze7470 4 роки тому +76

    The more you worry about the date being awkward the more it gets awkward. Never have a goal at the end of the night.. not even a kiss. Always have the mind set of just meeting a new friend and you will be 100% less nervous. When you make expectation you are worried about not meeting those expectations. If your a bad talker then go to the movies or a concert.. a place where talking isnt 100% necessary. If your naturally a nervous person on dates than dont be shy about letting the person know. Breaking that bridge can help the other make you feel better, just dont apologize a shit ton if you say stupid things. Being confident even if you fake it is key

    • @whatgamerlol5831
      @whatgamerlol5831 3 роки тому

      No movie theater is open in quarantine

    • @RubyDaBerry69
      @RubyDaBerry69 Рік тому +6

      Don’t go to the movies on a first date. It’s even more awkward than awkward silence

    • @djjayem100
      @djjayem100 Рік тому +1

      This helps thanks. Will be reading this again in 3 days time. Damn dating is brutal.

  • @honeyjam9593
    @honeyjam9593 3 роки тому +29

    this is great! kind of knew these already but a great refreshener.
    1. introduce physical contact early on so touching becomes more natural and not awkward, e.g. when you meet them give them a hug or a peck on the cheek as well as little touches here and there
    2. don't sit opposite each other, if there's a silence it will be more awkward because you dont know where to look, if you sit next to each other and there's a silence you can just look at the surroundings together
    3. if you're nervous or shy use the external stimuli/activity (museum, park) to create conversation

  • @camillastefanini5751
    @camillastefanini5751 7 років тому +1873

    Imagine dating the actual Matthew Hussey. So much pressure lol

    • @katiecraighan9788
      @katiecraighan9788 6 років тому +109

      Camilla Stefanini hahahha. HE KNOWS WHAT UR THINKINGGG!

    • @hose3262
      @hose3262 5 років тому +4

      Hahaahhahaahha 😆

    • @CariBaez
      @CariBaez 5 років тому +26

      Camilla Stefanini he is probably a gentleman

    • @Aripoma
      @Aripoma 5 років тому +73

      Ask Camilla cabello

    • @zermerschern
      @zermerschern 5 років тому +18

      Seems like a pretty laid back dude tbh from the 2 vids i have seen.
      Doubt there's much pressure at all, more like a fun and easy-going time.

  • @pinknails517
    @pinknails517 10 років тому +1557

    i asked a guy out and we had the best first date EVER! it was instant chemistry after knowing him for around 4 months but just as friends, and we talked for HOURS and time flew by. we sat side by side, and it never felt awkward. im still seeing him!
    Edit: omg... how am I just seeing this 6 years later!!!!!! You guys are awesome. We broke up after 3 years.... but we were fairly compatible for most of it. Our life goals were just too different. I wanted kids and he didn’t... now I’m with the love of my life and we met on bumble!

    • @haycheC
      @haycheC 6 років тому +55

      How about now?

    • @LettuceBunnies
      @LettuceBunnies 6 років тому +4

      H C yea 😂

    • @Saberdud
      @Saberdud 6 років тому +110

      nigga it been 4 years lmfao

    • @seanb6986
      @seanb6986 6 років тому +9

      Did You, ahem, FRIENDZONE him?

    • @wizyasilupumbwe2497
      @wizyasilupumbwe2497 5 років тому +5

      now i really need to know if you er still seeing him

  • @Ilmard99
    @Ilmard99 4 роки тому +8

    Best tips I've heard. Usually its just "Be yourself", "Don't be nervous" etc.

  • @fernandososa6507
    @fernandososa6507 4 роки тому +20

    First date coming fellas and she's exactly my type. Wish me luck

  • @Twerpjuice
    @Twerpjuice 7 років тому +565

    I'm so nervous.

  • @jbelladove1888
    @jbelladove1888 7 років тому +2580

    I like the shirt he's wearing, it looks easy to tear off

  • @NASSAfellow
    @NASSAfellow 2 роки тому +23

    I'm going to put this on all the posts I watched. I watched this video the morning of my first date and it helped a tonne. Stories about my life I was struggling to think of beforehand but funny ones came to me during the date just as I needed it. If you ever start discussing something negative, always turn it positive with a funny story. Make her laugh, never sit opposite if you can. Always get there before her. The bouncers gave me one last tip before the date arrived. I was standing in the cold lol. Don't wait outside; it makes you look desperate. Also how you feel, she feels so push away nerves by talking to those around you before she arrives and familiarising yourself with the environment. Make bets with her and lose so she can buy you a drink too. Let her repay the evening with only a drink/ice cream or whatever during the same date (she should offer). Go kino EARLY. Start with a hug, she may or may not choose a peck. Be decisive but a gentleman e.g. about when to eat or do things etc. Don't ask her where she wants to go, have things planned out. Flow in conversation. Move environments, even if it's seats in the same bar. Have things planned like a competitive or team work activity that allows you to interact. Gentle taps on her shoulder whilst laughing, briefly move your hand over hers and let go whilst your both laughing. But don't go too early on this, it has to set up a relationship for a bit. So maybe an hour in if it's going well. Move in close sitting next to her. Maybe even lean close to say something funny (make sure your mouth hygiene is impeccable. Floss, Use a tongue cleaner/scraper with tongue gel and ultradex to be sure). If it's going well you should have tonnes to talk about. Someone here said FORD family, occupation, recreation, dreams. Don't reveal too much about yourself if you want a second date. Tease her a little, to break down her wall but don't make her feel insecure. Compliment something she has done e.g. hair/worn rather than a feature of her body. Never compliment makeup; the reasons for that should be obvious. If the date is successful she'd set up the second one in some way, it might be mentioning she's doing something for charity etc. Take interest in HER. Generally if things are going well, her eyes won't wander, this is why it is so important you set up an environment you're comfortable with. The worse you are with conversation, the more external focus you need e.g. bowling to fill the gaps/tour a stately home, palace together or go on a boat ride. Point out similarities between you rather than differences. Choose DIFFERENT drinks to her on purpose after asking what she's having to show you have a mind of your own. Do something spontaneous at least once during the date like do something you're both willing to do to make you both embarrassed like dance randomly for a few seconds on your way out. It will show her CONFIDENCE and fun and exciting. You'll only have confidence if you calm your nerves that's why I'll say it again, talk to people around you and make small talk to compose yourself before the date. Finally go kino again at the end, with a hug, hopefully she'll give you the peck this time. Remember the aim of the first date is NOT to get a kiss (that's a Hollywood thing), but instead, a second date with her. Hopefully it's her that sets you up. Walk her to wherever she's going to get her ride home. Be a gentleman and put your arm round her, asking her if she doesn't mind you bringing her close if she's cold. Finally after an hour or two text to ask if she got home safely, she'll probably text saying she had a lovely time before that though. Give her a chance to do it though. Resist the urge to text her the next day before she does. Resist a further urge to text back straight away. That urge will be the hardest you've done. Respond with things that follow up on things you talked about during the date. Make her feel good about herself but always make yourself the prize and like a kitten, she'll keep interest in the ball of wool. Never boast though.
    I learned so much in one night and can't believe how many years I feared this day... And it went beautifully. She set up the next date.
    I just want to thank all of you in the comments section and the creator of this video who literally changed my life. Don't be put off if it goes bad, not everyone is made for each other and it is better you break off and stay friends than force something that won't work. Take it all slow. Don't be disheartened. Perfect practise makes perfect.
    Good luck brothers.

    • @Egg1z
      @Egg1z 5 місяців тому +1

      you are a legend

  • @evelinegina
    @evelinegina 4 роки тому +19

    I did this unintentionally at the first date with my first boyfriend. We immediately clicked and I always wondered why I never had that with other guys. Now thinking back of this date I realize what I did wrong the following dates after my first boyfriend.

  • @Equiax
    @Equiax 8 років тому +672

    jesus christ i wish i had have watched this before my date hahaha

    • @MamiYankeeMusic
      @MamiYankeeMusic 8 років тому +3

      hahahahahahaha

    • @michaelal20
      @michaelal20 8 років тому +26

      Lmao!!
      Wtf did you kill her?

    • @Equiax
      @Equiax 8 років тому +110

      Nah was just real awkward and I did everything this guy said not to do

    • @XIIILegend
      @XIIILegend 7 років тому +4

      michaelal20 Haha, you almost killed me with this comment.

    • @Equiax
      @Equiax 7 років тому +23

      XIIILegend hahaha got a girlfriend now so we all good

  • @arwenooi1101
    @arwenooi1101 6 років тому +365

    How do u even touch him? I cant even look him in the eye

    • @sarahbardhi4467
      @sarahbardhi4467 3 роки тому +4

      Same

    • @adamterry1550
      @adamterry1550 3 роки тому +25

      Just go in for a hug man as soon as you see him just say hey, and give him a hug. Don’t think about it too much just be natural about it! That should ease the tension a little!!!

    • @nnacamille4682
      @nnacamille4682 3 роки тому

      @@adamterry1550 Have you hear about quick hookup if you're interested lemme know🇱🇷✈️

    • @asa.8691
      @asa.8691 2 роки тому +5

      @@nnacamille4682 shut up

  • @KatyaMorozova
    @KatyaMorozova 3 роки тому +5

    Great video! I love the bluntness "the worse you are at conversation the more external focus you need"

  • @user-ws9qt4xw4t
    @user-ws9qt4xw4t 3 роки тому +7

    Boys, just came back.
    It was really nice. I was like nervous in the begining, but then it was smooth conversation.

  • @superanimefan275
    @superanimefan275 10 років тому +145

    So true about the 0 to 60 on a first date kiss. On a blind date once I hadn't anticipated the kiss since we hand't really had much physical contact throughout the date. Then at the end he just pulled me in and kissed me. Sounds romantic right? Well it wasn't. I was like "WTF!?" and my instant reaction was to push him off me. The date ended so awkwardly...

    • @spunkiQT
      @spunkiQT 7 років тому +11

      OMG SAME lol and I was already turning to walk away, so it took me completely by surprise! I was already over him by that point, too. And yeah it does sound more romantic than it actually is, I had a hard time explaining to my friends how awkward it was.

    • @brandigraham3600
      @brandigraham3600 6 років тому

      superanimefan

    • @justrandom7752
      @justrandom7752 6 років тому +2

      superanimefan275 I probably would’ve kissed you on the forehead shows respect and care and not as awkward 😆

    • @ravenclawsden2103
      @ravenclawsden2103 6 років тому

      Same except that I made him believe that it was going to be a second date while I was going up the bus telling him "you should have done that earlier. Next time!"
      When I wasn't answering his messages, I chose to tell him that I had lost interest instead of telling him the truth, that I haven't been interested throughout the whole blind date, I was being friendly because I had previously told him by a text message he needn't ask for a kiss. In my defense, his texting skills had impressed me as well as his looks. He was way different than what he seemed and I didn't want to make things awkward by leaving.
      Was I wrong?

    • @Leila-yk8li
      @Leila-yk8li 4 роки тому

      Ouch

  • @its_magic9516
    @its_magic9516 7 років тому +342

    I hate first dates

    • @LettuceBunnies
      @LettuceBunnies 6 років тому +3

      Akira Bell wtf u idiot

    • @josejones4413
      @josejones4413 6 років тому +53

      Just pretend it's your second 👍

    • @annapowell6686
      @annapowell6686 5 років тому +1

      Don't we all and nice name 😂

    • @merwinpique
      @merwinpique 4 роки тому +1

      Who doesn't.

    • @hugmac2246
      @hugmac2246 4 роки тому +1

      Well don't hate it, its your first time knowing each other personally and so on feels comfortable with each other

  • @SpongeBobPants1980
    @SpongeBobPants1980 3 роки тому +7

    Great points being made here. I still have things to work on but wanted to share this. Sometimes I find it helpful during an awkward silence to simply take a few slow deep breaths and just let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes a positive topic will just generate and keep things flowing. It also puts you in a state of relaxation which your date will notice and feed off of as well. Also, find something to compliment her on, like her shirt, jewelry, her hair style, lipstick, her speaking voice, etc. It shows that you’re noticing her appearance and can make her feel more at ease.

  • @bwestby1
    @bwestby1 3 роки тому +13

    If you have chemistry the date will go 100
    Times better. Nothing worse than a first date where you are like “yeaaaa no this isn’t going to work” lol.

  • @Mankind5490
    @Mankind5490 7 років тому +60

    Wow those tricks are actually game changing

  • @reinborn8667
    @reinborn8667 5 років тому +77

    The fact about sitting adjacent to each other actually sounds brilliant to me, didn't even think of that. I pictured my first "date" with someone I've known for a while as us, sitting completely opposite of each other and now I can see how impractical it is in comparison to sitting next to, or adjacent to each other. I imagine it's more freeing.

  • @MrSlingshot92
    @MrSlingshot92 4 роки тому +4

    I do truly have to say the first thing he says about touch early is so spot on. I do that and it relieves alot of tension early

  • @annamazzola3419
    @annamazzola3419 5 років тому +2

    Matthew thank you so much. You helped me get out and over a abusive relationship.to being comfortable with my self. To opening my heart to moving to my first date ! Thank you again. Keep being amazing

  • @cutieprincess431
    @cutieprincess431 9 років тому +267

    Matthew just looks like a really jacked Daniel Radcliffe

    • @GuiarGodCole
      @GuiarGodCole 9 років тому +10

      cutieprincess431 He isn't even jacked, wtf.

    • @KF350
      @KF350 9 років тому +2

      can't unsee this now

    • @DevilFrog61
      @DevilFrog61 7 років тому

      cutieprincess431 you think this guy is "really jacked" lmao wtf have we come to....he has good confidence though

    • @ClumpypooCP
      @ClumpypooCP 4 роки тому

      If this dude is “really jacked” im excited to hear what I am lmao

    • @ninjabreadgirl
      @ninjabreadgirl 3 роки тому

      His voice even sounds like Daniel Radcliffe, the tone

  • @maryplanton572
    @maryplanton572 10 років тому +60

    If it's a restaurant and a 4 sided table, sit at 90 degrees to him. Easier to see the face and yet people watch, etc. I've done that and it's much more comfortable and makes it easier to have a conversation.

  • @tanbrolo
    @tanbrolo 4 роки тому +5

    I used the touch often tip! Set my timer to beep every ten minutes then we have to touch. She loved it, worked great.

  • @soujoudtelli8101
    @soujoudtelli8101 3 роки тому +23

    My first date is tomorrow i wanna ✨pass away✨

  • @vmlburmester4260
    @vmlburmester4260 8 років тому +529

    great advice except don't go for a walk by a river or in the park unless you're confident you will be safe ... remember, you don't know this date!

    • @MamiYankeeMusic
      @MamiYankeeMusic 8 років тому +40

      great point!!

    • @ashk9105
      @ashk9105 6 років тому +98

      Took a girl out to date today at a park now she's gone missing.

    • @drsareekakatkuriphysiother5376
      @drsareekakatkuriphysiother5376 6 років тому +23

      That's fine, it's still a public place, never go to his house on first date. I have seen mishaps happening

    • @ImDembe
      @ImDembe 6 років тому +7

      If it's a crowded place wich it's most likely gonna be, who the hell takes a date to a remote river lol?

    • @sherryroberts6920
      @sherryroberts6920 6 років тому +11

      Victoria Burmester
      true he could push you in the river exactly if you don't know that person

  • @grovertigo
    @grovertigo 10 років тому +44

    that second one is especially smart.

  • @jconstant7686
    @jconstant7686 3 роки тому +15

    External activity: put on a porn movie as a surprise.

  • @YourHyness
    @YourHyness 2 роки тому +2

    I’m impressed on how much he knows and how objective his facts are

  • @Homebrew1981
    @Homebrew1981 9 років тому +610

    who the hell sits side by side at dinner ?

    • @jamalhippolyte94
      @jamalhippolyte94 9 років тому +52

      Me

    • @XyntXII
      @XyntXII 9 років тому +35

      do something about 90% so you sit as he said adjacent.

    • @ryuisonline8816
      @ryuisonline8816 6 років тому +79

      it's easier if you get like a corner table or corner both where you can angle yourself to not be directly in front of the person

    • @_DeadlyNightshade_
      @_DeadlyNightshade_ 5 років тому +167

      ryuisonline As if the person is not anxious enough.. now I got to think about the design of the goddamn table. Can't wait!

    • @DarwinzTheoryz
      @DarwinzTheoryz 5 років тому

      Guywithaguitar me

  • @ChelissaMoon
    @ChelissaMoon 7 років тому +149

    This was so helpful! This is perfect for shy girls like me. 💗

  • @maryt.8043
    @maryt.8043 3 роки тому +17

    You supposed to kiss at the end? I think I'll die if I kiss this early 😂

  • @Taylor-kh6el
    @Taylor-kh6el 2 роки тому +47

    I haven't been on a first date yet but from my experience talking to guys it's always easier to have something to resort to when things get awkward, such as a game. Something as simple as just asking random questions to each other, because you can figure stuff out about them, talk about it, and then if there's ever an awkward pause, then you just be like, "ok your turn".

    • @hadihussin3839
      @hadihussin3839 Рік тому +5

      Nah if you say your turn after you finish your talk it will feel like an interview it must be somehow smoother

  • @carmina7pulchra
    @carmina7pulchra 7 років тому +13

    This is such great advice! All of the awkward dates I've had were because of the mistakes you talked about. I will definitely be using these tips before my next first date.

  • @kaytia6065
    @kaytia6065 10 років тому +237

    Won't it seem weird to sit directly next to someone on a first date though?

    • @frenchvanilla7109
      @frenchvanilla7109 9 років тому +69

      I completely agree. I like sitting side by side once I'm already in a relationship with you but definitely not first date!!!

    • @brianbay370
      @brianbay370 8 років тому +75

      +Kay Tia I am quoting a guy(NARUTO4rEaL4) who commented in this page:
      "turn it into a joke, ask him if he ever feels awkward sitting across the table from dates. Maybe he'll say yeah it's awkward, that would be perfect moment to reply with, why don't we sit next to each other. And if he says no, or says you seem desperate, that makes him seem like a mean person to me. And if he is mean, why date him you know."

    • @LettuceBunnies
      @LettuceBunnies 6 років тому +3

      Brian Bay what a loser who commented that

    • @_yellow
      @_yellow 6 років тому

      Skeleton Clique But he's a loser with wit

    • @BroTheDude
      @BroTheDude 6 років тому +52

      As a guy I can tell you that sitting next to each other is way better in my experience. I have never had a woman not want to see my again after the first date and I always start it off sitting beside each other at a bar. Takes the pressure off awkwardly staring at someone you don't know and can't really reach to build physical connection. Sitting across from someone also makes it feel like some kind of weird interview.

  • @rs6304
    @rs6304 Рік тому +1

    Watched this video before a date last night & I literally knocked it out the park! TOUCH EARLY & OFTEN IS KEY.

  • @maizie961
    @maizie961 5 років тому +1

    "a great river" that is so humble and sweet

  • @_Idfc
    @_Idfc 7 років тому +420

    Or take some shots of vodka for confidence and everythig will be gucchy

  • @willowr22
    @willowr22 9 років тому +147

    I am heading out on a first date to go feed the ducks and walk along the river. Thanks for the advice!

  • @Josette160179
    @Josette160179 5 років тому +3

    Well done to these tips.
    Tried & tested steps 1 & 2. I must admit that I had to put in some discipline to go through with both. But they both set the tone for a smooth and an enjoyable date.
    And guess what? Yes we agreed to meet for the 2nd date.
    Just what I needed to know.
    Thanks.... keep them coming

  • @ryleynitschke6879
    @ryleynitschke6879 3 роки тому +12

    Man I’m sad I even had to look this up

    • @nnacamille4682
      @nnacamille4682 3 роки тому

      Don't be sad ok

    • @nnacamille4682
      @nnacamille4682 3 роки тому

      Have you hear about quick hookup if you're interested lemme know🇱🇷✈️

  • @RithuAB
    @RithuAB 5 років тому +13

    Sitting opposite each other is also known to be seen as more formal and intimidating. I remember in my peer counselling classes we were told to sit in a sort of 45 degree angle next to each other so that it's comforting and less intimidating to the other person.

  • @theexpierow8951
    @theexpierow8951 3 роки тому +8

    Dude this video is deadass helpful. Honestly wasn't even expecting that 😂

  • @timmymcwilliams6856
    @timmymcwilliams6856 2 роки тому

    Bro your voice is so calming it honestly helped me get calm

  • @elizabethdevries8028
    @elizabethdevries8028 2 роки тому

    You are spot on about relationship issues. I've listened to a lot of your videos and you are spot on.

  • @madison817
    @madison817 10 років тому +4

    wow, that sitting next to them tip is pure genius!

  • @nadine8663
    @nadine8663 6 років тому +25

    Going on my first date in two hours and I feel so confident now!! We are going to the cinema wich has a lot of external activity of course, and after we’re eating sushi! The sushi restaurant has the benches that allow us to sit next to each other. If the restaurant seems full, I’ll convince him to sit on the benches

  • @ameliasoldierpng
    @ameliasoldierpng 5 років тому +14

    I have a date in.. Four hours, so I'm basically binging all of these videos. 😂

  • @LUMALuxuryMatchmaking
    @LUMALuxuryMatchmaking 4 роки тому +2

    Sitting beside each other on a date is so underrated. It makes things 10 times less intimidating and awkward, stellar tip!

  • @JuneHarriseco
    @JuneHarriseco 5 років тому +5

    Omg, I hugged him BEFORE I saw this video! We ended up talking for over five hours and we want to see each other again

  • @thearithmos3408
    @thearithmos3408 2 роки тому +8

    It's my first time hearing that advise, "not sit opposite with each other", and I was like "oh so that's why!" because often times it feels more like an interview rather than a casual conversation hahaha.

  • @claudiaguntert88
    @claudiaguntert88 3 роки тому

    Matthew I can 100% vouch for your advise on sitting next to the person on a first date that i last went on the guy was actually surprised that I chose to sit next to him and he even vocalized that he like it and no one had ever done that and it definitely made things easier in terms of communicating on a personal level, and allowed for the subtle touching that you mentioned as well. Thank you Matthew 😊😬

  • @TheTrainstation
    @TheTrainstation 5 років тому

    Totally did these things on my first date last night...it was great! Touched early and often was the best advice

  • @user-hg8kp9mj1c
    @user-hg8kp9mj1c 6 років тому +102

    I'm having first date tomorrow.. Wish me luck

    • @ashlynnschrock1480
      @ashlynnschrock1480 5 років тому +2

      sun shine how’d it go?

    • @MattGarcyaDC
      @MattGarcyaDC 5 років тому +7

      @@ashlynnschrock1480 The world will never know

    • @ashlynnschrock1480
      @ashlynnschrock1480 5 років тому +6

      Matt Garcya maybe they are married now! Maybe they hate each other... maybe he’s her new baby daddy! Who knows🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @ClassyRyan
      @ClassyRyan 4 роки тому

      sun shine update ?

  • @imelevated53
    @imelevated53 5 років тому +3

    This was straight to the point. Thank you.

  • @nannarmerjacobsen5881
    @nannarmerjacobsen5881 4 роки тому +1

    I couldn't agree more and those tips are golden for people like me who tends to get really nervous on dates

  • @sillyputtytravel
    @sillyputtytravel 2 роки тому

    Brilliant Matthew -- thank you. I have a first date this weekend and I'm anxious to try all three tips!

  • @ducheswannabe
    @ducheswannabe 10 років тому +13

    GENIUS! how didn't i think of that !?

  • @samswan8197
    @samswan8197 5 років тому +7

    The touch thing makes sense, but personally if I JUST met someone and this was our first date I wouldn't really want them to touch me. I'm not much of a touch person in general, even with friends it takes me a long time to warm up to the hug stage of our relationship. But I can see myself being more comfortable with it if I've met them and interacted with them a few times previously.

  • @ramihammoud355
    @ramihammoud355 4 роки тому

    Watching this with my friend, I hope he nails it! Thank you doctor Matthew

  • @dipikathaker1536
    @dipikathaker1536 4 роки тому +1

    Matthew this little tricks to deal first dates is amazing .. thank u so much for sharing, I am a kind of person who is good listener but this gestures are really amazing to know .. thank u

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 6 років тому +10

    I can just recall one of my awkward dating mistakes. You definitely hit it right Matthew!

  • @aaronfisher7159
    @aaronfisher7159 5 років тому +8

    My girlfriend of almost 9 months and I's first date was a movie (My actual first date ever). We had talked nonstop 24/7 for a month before the date but I could not get her to go out with me lol. She was and still is a pretty shy person. But when we met at the theater I didn't give her a hug, I wanted to, but I didn't want to seem pushy. During the movie she kept touching my arm to get me to hold her hand or touch her but i wasn't catching on. Eventually i talked myself into it and put my hand out for her to grab, and after that it was all over. It was so peaceful, and i had felt a connection i had never felt before. But the date wasn't awkward at all, because we already knew everything about each other. I would highly suggest at least texting someone for a week or so before the first date. At least that's what seemed to help me.

    • @bizznizman7035
      @bizznizman7035 2 роки тому

      everyone always says like, "dont text them for more than 4 days!" but i dont get it. Knowing them for at least 2 weeks gets you comfortable and it gives great opportunities to understand them and what they like. Then from that information you can make them talk about them selfs (everyone likes talking about them selfs)

  • @randeepbirdi3793
    @randeepbirdi3793 2 роки тому

    Going on a hike with a guy I used to work with years ago. Conversation is great on messenger, im so looking forward to it! These are great tips in person! Thank you!!

  • @TheBandsMan
    @TheBandsMan 2 роки тому +2

    This man is legendary 7 years later🐐

  • @VietSytlezzz
    @VietSytlezzz 3 роки тому +8

    ''just give a hug' its actually harder than you think lmao

  • @mariaayala2264
    @mariaayala2264 5 років тому +5

    Hahah just got home from my best first date ever! We hugged right away and touch was so natural and Intentional the entire time. We sat next to each other at both restaurants we went to and ate korean bbq so we had to cook the food ourselves which was a great external distraction. The only thing that didnt work was the darn t shirt line from your other video! Lol 😆 may work on some other guys but this guy did not get it ....he thought it was an insult until i explained and had to confess it was a line.i think our more frank and honest conversation was more our speed but i truly appreciate all your tips and advice for us all in the dating world. ❤❤❤ Thank you!

  • @TitanFormEren
    @TitanFormEren 3 роки тому +1

    I needed this video! Man the internet is a life hack!

  • @roquem4759
    @roquem4759 2 роки тому

    these are some simple yet amazing advice right here

  • @JaffytaffyBTC
    @JaffytaffyBTC 3 роки тому +38

    My first date ever is in 4 days and is with this short cute quiet girl. We already have a nice inside joke to goof around with from our initial texting, which I think can always help.

    • @abdizito8074
      @abdizito8074 2 роки тому +1

      Not that well, i assume…

    • @JaffytaffyBTC
      @JaffytaffyBTC 2 роки тому +5

      @メロンパンおいし Yeah it never happened. 2 days before, she asked to postpone it due to a family emergency. I said no problem and told her to hit me up when she's ready to meet again.
      Like 2 weeks later, I was like, "Yeah, she probably just flaked and ghosted me." Then, out of nowhere, Facebook suggested her profile to me. So I clicked on it to see if something bad actually happened. Turns out, her mother died from a long battle with cancer. And her mother ultimately died on the exact day our date was scheduled. The girl never hit me up again.
      I've since moved on, and admitted to myself that I'm not ready for a relationship now anyway. I'ma focus on finishing school, making new friends, and improving my life first.

    • @KrypticFR0ST
      @KrypticFR0ST 2 роки тому +4

      @@JaffytaffyBTC Jesus dude that fuckingsucks

    • @JaffytaffyBTC
      @JaffytaffyBTC 2 роки тому +1

      @@KrypticFR0ST Yep it sucked big-time at the time. But I've been improving my life since then, and I'm making nice progress. I'ma begin to truly date in probably 2-3 years, which is when I think I will be financially independent, grow into my body, get better mentally while becoming a man (mentally and physically), make more high quality friends, and become much more happy with my life.

    • @KrypticFR0ST
      @KrypticFR0ST 2 роки тому

      @@JaffytaffyBTC well I just asked a girl out yesterday for a movie date(we’re both into marvel so we gonna see Shang chi) and I’m just so nervous because it’s her first time going to a movie theater with a guy. I just want the experience for her to be the best. I want to set the bar high for other guys who date her in the future.

  • @sashagonzales1240
    @sashagonzales1240 10 років тому +14

    Went on my first date last night with a guy I've liked forever, mine wasn't awkward at all bc we've known each other forever and been friends. I saw this in my sub bar for UA-cam and watching it explains why it wasn't awkward thanks for helping me to understand why this one worked so much better than the others

  • @annarose6388
    @annarose6388 5 років тому

    You provide such amazing advice! I never would have thought of what you mentioned in the video!

  • @harraj9664
    @harraj9664 3 роки тому

    Good tips Mat!

  • @jenorr3989
    @jenorr3989 9 років тому +56

    This literally helped me so much❤️

    • @ashk9105
      @ashk9105 6 років тому +2

      Asperger Datter 👉👌

    • @NWEISS-vj3nt
      @NWEISS-vj3nt 6 років тому

      Tosh.O Daniel Tosh bully

  • @chrisyo4461
    @chrisyo4461 9 років тому +6

    Good advice...I hope I have the courage to use it.

  • @Hanatsuki27
    @Hanatsuki27 5 років тому

    Woah that was enlightening! I wish I had seen this video sooner!
    I'll just have to try these tips next time :)
    Thank you!

  • @HouseJunk1e
    @HouseJunk1e 4 роки тому

    best date advice on youtube. good job my guy.