Discipline Techniques
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- Опубліковано 29 січ 2017
- This video covers some discipline techniques I use. The key is implementing early, and being consistent. You can introduce this later, but understand it will take more work and there will typically be resistance to adopt this new technique by the kids.
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www.zfammama.com
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Spankings are the way I was raised!
Those monsters should've been in fer ti le
Do you use the soap punishment
Honestly i was raised my ass getting beat it was the belt or me getting kicked In the back by my father for disrespecting my mother
Where are you from
I'm sure you're a good mom, spanking isn't abuse, taken a stick or a object and beating a child until they bleed is abuse and I knew kids that this happened to when I was a kid
If you spank your kids it's "not treating other's how you'd like them to treat you" which means you broke the often championed by those who break it "golden rule" of morality, it's also a prejudicial double standard against minorities so is a bigotry.
It conditions a conflict resolution ideology into societies and humanities mind which is where we get warfare from, it's the bigger party gets to enforce their will on the smaller party and if they don't listen to get to be forceful.
"Might makes right" is not a mentality we're born with as social animals with strong instincts to survive and propagate murdering is not in our nature but after spending MANY years of our developmental life in an environment everyday where how conflicts are resolved is with violence, warps our true selves and then we're released from these little micro-societies into the larger one with this attitude, I do not want politicians with this disagreements are resolved through force or anyone else for that matter.
It's demeaning, degrading, enforces a second class citizenship which can effect self esteem and self worth as does embarrassment, awaiting pain causes us anxiety and repeatedly going through that encourages us to develop anxiety disorders and the younger we are in our developmental years the more likely it is to do so. It encourages and is itself a form of "ageism" and that can, does and will create more "ageist" when "content of character" instead is what we should judge each other by, not some number anymore than skin colour.
It causes people to develop an "external morality compass" which is when we do something because of how it'll effect us, not others but our attention is re-directed by suffering to focus on how our actions or inaction will effect us (ah oh if I do this I'll get spanked), this encourages one to only act morally out of self concern NOT because they actually value the morality itself and then when the incentive to behave is lifted (person gets too old/parent's stop) their goes the only thing which was encouraging them to behave along with it and now a "self concern based" morality system is lift there for life, this is the leading cause of selfishness in the world.
It's disgusting to sit there and "debate" if one group in society should be exempt from the same protections all the other's have in this case even violent hardened criminals, they're legally protected before children are? so absolutely insane and revolting especially when you consider ALL of us our children and we don't even grant all the "minors" the only "group" everyone is a part of, with protections all the others (and often more deserving of being hit) have? why is exposing children to pain and violence and humiliation going to encourage healthy emotional development anyway? it's utter and complete madness and the exact opposite of what makes **any** sense.
Also the "outcome" doesn't matter anyway, it would still be bigotry and breaking the golden rule and demeaning and disgusting etc, etc,
Kids do need spankings
It is abuse
A little spank on the backside is what you call abuse ? Lol 😆 you and the rest of the snowflakes would have never lasted a day when I grew up,this pathetic gentle discipline is exactly why kids today are in such serious sad shape
Do you make your kids stand with their nose to the corner for a timeout. Also what age do you stop spanking . Last of all how could you spank spank sweat Dallas. He acted like such a nice kid in the video.Thanks so much. Keep up your good work.
Stand in the corner would work best I think with younger children, but after age 9/10 less effective. Spanking is not a "one pill cures all" method, but depends on the child and on what they had done. Dallas might seem "sweet" but as with all boys, probably has his mischief moments. Spanking should always be confined to their butt region and never a slap on face or other areas of the body. My last, and it was a wood paddle spanking, was age 14.
@@davidhuff4562 Thanks for your reply. I did use the corner when I taught third through fifth grade boys in Sunday School some years back. My thinking was they paid for what they did but they still heard the lesson instead of being sent in the hall or to their parents. It was a small class.
If I understand correctly it was your child who got a spanking with a paddle. Some say teens are too old to spank but I know each child is different. Had you told him before he would be spanked and did it help. Was he embarrassed or in more pain ? Thanks
@@BillyDTeacher I too taught Sunday School but at Middle School level. Corner time was never required, but it didn't hurt that I knew parents and they knew me...students were aware.
No, it was me at 14 who got HS paddled. The first & only time at school. He proved I still wasn't too old. A shock to my teen ego but apparently what I earned and needed. I was a bit embarrassed & when I did "damage check," my bottom was 'reddish' and sore.
@@davidhuff4562 Paddling is child abuse. No child should ever get their bottom smacked with an object. One moderate smack with the open palm of the hand on a clothed bottom will achieve the same outcome, and at the same time it won't hurt a child, leave red marks or bruising on their body, won't make them yelp with pain, and won't make them cry. But it will humble them, and it will definitely make them realise very quickly that their behaviour will not be tolerated.
Even as a kid my parents barley spanked me and it was only 1 or 2 times and I can admit I did deserve oh I was a bad kid really when I was 5 or 4 like God I can just remember but like don't spank your kids it should only be as a last option and don't go hard on only like 1 hit?
My sis and I are 10 years apart
I always had a very red and sore bottom growing up ☺️
They should've been in fer ti le
Whoever was smacking it mustn't have been smacking you just once on your clothes using the open palm of their hand. They must have smacked you with an object, several times over and over, or on the bare skin (or possibly a combination of all 3). They would have been committing a form of child abuse for you to have gotten a sore and red bottom whenever it was getting smacked.
Great informative video! In regards to spanking, is it just one swat you give? Or does it depend on the offence?
Coral Simm typically 1 spank. Enough to get their attention.
Thanks for the reply :) The bible talks about a rod, do you think it matters if you use one or just a hand? Also how would you handle a younger child ( my daughter is 2) that fusses during a spanking? I'm a first time mama and still trying to find my feet. Its hard.
Coral Simm every child brings us to question ourselves at some point. I had a small wooden spoon that I carried in my diaper bag and I would call it mommy's friend. When we were out in public and my kids misbehaved I would ask if I needed to get mommy's friend out. I used my hand for quick spanks and thumping hands. At 2 I think a small spank with the hand is sufficient. I would suggest using a different voice when disciplining so your child knows you are serious and it's not a game. Thank you for reaching out to me and I am happy to encourage you anytime!
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It really does mean a lot to me. Mommy's friend haha I like that one. I see how that would be effective. Once they associate that phrase with a spank. This may seem like a silly question, but how do you handle it when the child still wears diapers? I'm guessing a spank on the diaper isn't effective. And also at this age, did you ever find it easier to spank them over your lap to stop them wriggling? God bless you and your family :)
Coral Simm over the diaper is fine it is really about the association, if you feel you child will respond better spank the upper leg just below the diaper. When I spank it is immediate while the are standing is fine. I can tell you care about raising a good child, keep up the hard work, it will pay off!
Cute but I believe both should get hand spanking 😂❤❤❤
2:58
How old are they now
grace is adorable the way she pretends hitting her brother, it s like, she makes such a gracious mannerism, that it looks as if she s full of class and that she would never do it, like a very good sunday school little girl :), and im sure they are very good children, quite older now, so i dont think that you discipline them that much, but the thump on the lips, what does it mean, i hope it s not a fist that they get on the lips and you should remember that lips can be easily bruised and they are delicate, can you do something else instead ...
"Hands are not for hitting, there for love..." Kind of contradicts itself, doesn't it? "One child hits the other and the disciplinary answer is, "I love you so I'm going to hurt you physically now, by hitting you to show you not to hit thereby showing you the error of your ways. Oh wait, didn't you just say, 'no hitting'? To be sure, you should be firm when children are little, regarding dangerous situations; i.e. running into the road, climbing on the stairs or sticking a fork in an electrical wall socket. In the early years, to keep them from death or serious harm a good swat on the rear end gets their attention. I'm sure this mother cares about and loves these children, it seems she does and is most likely a good mother. But there's something a little contrived about her descriptions of the discipline she uses. It's just a little too, scripted for the camera. Will these children grow to be healthy productive adults, maybe, but could one or more develop negative thoughts, feelings and/or emotions later in life due to her discipline, leading to mental problems at some point? It is likely possible. Like Dr. Phil says, "You can't tell me that when they (the children) make you angry, you wait to discipline NO, let's be honest here. You're mad, you don't schedule their discipline for next week. You pounce on them in the heat of the moment like an animal. You, like most parents, attack. Out of anger, it's human nature, especially if it was done to you as a child. And this is when abuse starts." If she 'thumps" them in the lips, is it a stretch to think when she's really mad, she doesn't, or hasn't, slapped them in the face? This is abuse. It's the stereotypical living in denial approach that most parents do. Thinking that her actions aren't leaving lasting negative effects. Believing that these 'actions' aren't damaging only 'teaching'. I worked as a QMHP for a decade. Working with 18 yr old to 99yr old individuals. If you were to pick out 10 patients, at least 6 will have suffered some form of abuse in their formidable years. Mainly physical. The stories I have heard were truly heart-wrenching. The scars most times run deep. Beatings do nothing but instill fear and pain, seldom love. How could they? I mean, to inflict pain on a child. No. I hate listening to idiots trying to interpret Proverbs. The 'spare the rod' BS everyone gets wrong. No where in the bible did Jesus condone the beating of a child. He did say however it would be "better to put a millstone around your neck and jump in deep water than to harm a child." My mother was abused, and then she abused me. The vicious cycle. And to this day, years after her death, I still can't forgive her for the pain she put me through. God bless this family, and I harbor no ill will towards her. I'm just a survivor of abuse and the mental health profession and I don't agree.
Hands are for giving spanking and then for giving hugs and comfort after the spanking
I see what you mean but the spanks are given only out of love and care and are ultimately harmless
My parents be like:
Repeating =Spanking100%
If hands aren’t for hurting then why spank your Child??? This emotionally damages them it’s even been scientifically proven they can develop depression and anxiety. I have those two things, why would you hit a child to make them stop hitting? Make that make sense please.
Apparently you never got spanked.
I have a feeling huge feeling ur a teenager and u are arent u?
@@rabbittko1421 No
@@davidhuff4562 not u bro, the person who i @
Yeah you defo get sent to your room as a punishment 😂
Ji
you are fantastic and im sure you would never hit them anyway xxxxxxxxxxx
Wonderful parenting not hitting is never acceptable
Hi
the spanks I got where worth it…..so for me it was never abuse is was discipline cause I was naughty very naughty
Those monsters should've been in fer ti le
Disobedience lieing, backtalk, as well as other moral value infractions should automatically be spanking offences. They need to know THE consequence for each infraction.
As long as children have ignored repeated warnings for doing this, then and only then should they get their bottom smacked for it. But I do agree that there should be zero tolerance for talkback or for being blatantly disrespectful because all children are supposed to submit to the authority of an adult provided that what they are being told to do is within reason (which it usually is).
No, this is the wrong way
Hey spanking and Hitting its the same, that makes not different to me!!!!!!
Why tho :/
Consequence for bad behavior.
@@billsloan i hope you are in fer ti le
@@ManuSilanga Don’t want to be punished don't willingly & knowingly do bad.
U
there is no excuse for child abuse
there is never any excuse for any form of hitting striking for any reson form or degree!
@cuchulain55 nothing wrong with spanking
@@marclabrie6027 disgusting piece of kupa. yes there is! any form degree of hitting anyone for ANY reason. even something wrong with using the sick dsisgusting word sp-------g
@@marclabrie6027 causing a child pain is wrong period
@kidwoo5613 not fior when its for discipline it isnt wrong at all period
whatvthe heck is this
You actually just contradicted yourself there, maybe you should watch your own video to see where you slipped up....
Intelligent and good parenting ist about correcting your own approach to the children, it is about asking yourself if you are doing something that makes your children act the way they act. But gaining control by blaming the children and punishing them, afflicting pain to them, humiliating them, even openly in a video is a much easier way for you, isn't it? Remember: Before children are making trouble they are having some. Sometimes it is an Aha moment for parents when they realize that something they are doing makes their children bicker or quarrel. It is absurd to teach children that they are not supposed to hit by hitting them or humiliating them by time - out . As a grown up I can't respect your home - cooked educational theory and I also would not have respected you as a child. I feel sorry for your children who will never experience a thoughtful mother, a mother who is able to correct herself, a mother who can reflect what she is causing by her actions, who feels empathy. This is just superstupid. And yes: I have three children who were well behaved and friendly when they were young and certainly are now as grown - ups. And this is - I am sure of it - because I never ever humiliated or spanked them. Never. Ever. Overthink what you are doing instead of giving bad advice to also weak parents.
All kids are different, y'know. A light tap like that isn't going to traumatize a child. We've gone the other way and coddle our children.
From your name and the fact that you let a "ist" slip, I assume you're from a German speaking country. Is spanking common where you're from?
I completely agree with you Helga, spanking, or smacking in the UK, is ineffective and outdated. Smacking is humiliating and it interrupts the loving relationship between the parent and the child. It can also cause increased aggression, low self-esteem, anxiety, anger and mental health problems in their adult life.
It also sends mixed messages to the child, as if you tell them it's not okay to hit people, but then if you smack them, then you're effectively saying, 'it's not okay for you to hit other people, but it's okay for me to hit you', you know that just doesn't add up and it confuses the child. They will then think it's appropriate and then hit either their siblings or other children either at nursery, at school, or when with other children out in public.
@@charlesneal1774i hope you are in fer ti le
This woman is silly.