I have spent my entire life making friends. I grew up in a physically and emotionally lonely environment. I never knew what to say. So when I became a young adult, I took classes on how to talk to people. I joined groups with causes, co-op preschool, connecting with my neighbors by helping them, and book clubs, just to name a few of my attempts. I reckon I made one or at most two lifelong, devoted friends per decade, the kind of friend you can call day or night for help. Now, at seventy, the lesson I learned was that making friends takes a lot of effort, a willingness to go out of your way to help them when they need it, and time and kindness. Most of the time, people you'd like to have or want as friends won't reciprocate. But when you find someone who is as happy to have you for a friend as you are to be friends, it is a gift to be repaid with loyalty and compassion, and acknowledgment.
The insight that club/group activities should be fun is an important point to emphasize. I think sometimes people talking about loneliness can have a bit of a hectoring tone, making it sound like we have to join groups as a chore, and people get defensive about being told to do boring chores. But good communities are never boring, they’re something you’re excited about!
Who knew John James McCullough was a Robert Putnam fan? I certainly didn't, but I'm not surprised. It's nice to know you care about community building and social atomisation too.
If you're reading this and are also trying to create community, just keep doing it. It works. I read "Bowling Alone" two years ago and started a pilot project of "civic education + fun workshops" in Panama. I am sure it will work and that we'll see the positive effects in the coming years. Don' stop on your journey to create community. We're doing what we can in our little corners of the world. We must keep lighting up these little beacons that will eventually make America, and the world, shine again.
An atomized society without a social fabric is actually beneficial for industries selling crap to fill that void, it also makes political organization extremely difficult which is a nice bonus for the elites.
I have spent the past 20 years building a hybrid online and in-person community based on a shared professional interest. It is a bonding community based on interest but also bridging across almost all other aspects. It takes a lot to hold it together and lately. It's been harder because people want to bring their political bonding viewpoint into the group, but we've kept it bay. I'm sure we've lost a few people because of it, but I really want to keep this steady. I really appreciate finding the work of doctor Putnam.
Reading Putnam's "Bowling Alone" years ago, I worked even harder at connecting people. I worked both as a coordinator of events like TEDxLincoln and more recently The Nebraska Storytelling Festival. Then I read "The Upswing" and focused even more on ways I could personally be involved in connecting through my membership in Rotary here in Lincoln, Nebraska and around the world. I encourage you to connect through a service club in your community and grow the bridging social capital in our world.
I tried different clubs for years in my twenties and never felt any belonging. My neighbours aren't friendly, therapy never helped, the one support group I found that I liked stopped meeting a few months after I joined it. There is something bad happening socially in the WEIRD countries.
what’s fascinating here is that binding social capital may be good for ameliorating loneliness-but his point about bridging social capital is really important.
As another commenter said without discussion of criticism of capitalism and immigration politics the solutions will only incorporate bootstrap politics
Putnam's redefinition/appropriation of Bourdieu's original notion of social capital strips it of most of its critical and explanatory potential. No longer is social capital a way of understanding how inequality is generationally reproduced in relatively open societies (Bourdieu). Putnam reduces it to a vague, subjective sense of social belonging, which can be fostered through neoliberal notions such as resilience building. The reason that Putnam is maybe the world's most successful social theorist, beloved by the UNDP and World Bank, is because he threatens almost nothing. It's social science for people who don't want to do social science, and as a concept meant to explain social disconnection, vastly inferior to Durkheimian, Weberian and Marxist approaches that predate him by more than a century.
28:00 That’s a really sad yet interesting point. Things don't necessarily fail due to a lack of trying, but it shows how much we are at the mercy of systems and the landscape. Urban planning very much feels like the next iteration of addressing isolation, but from a larger systemic level. It's hard to connect when it's hard to get to people in the first place or you're stranded because you don't have a car. The part on natural disasters is extreamly relevant right now in Houston. The city doesn't suck because it does what other cities do, but because it is so darn spread out. 1-2 hours that can balloon to 3 getting from one part of the city to the other which left communities cut off from one another in a dire time. Clubs are especially tricky here because of the catering to a specific part of town because it's so annoying to go across town.
I felt this could have been even better if the interviewer did better. I cringed at many of her questions - or maybe it was her approach. Then, I reminded myself that its the NYT. There are other interviews with Robert Putnam that are worth seeking out
If Bob Einstein was a social scientist 😅 You wouldn't even have to change names. First introduction to this man, and I already know that this guy is a treasure.
Christians, (though I no longer embrace it), do still "join" - the church. Even some move churches b/c it is still important to them even when the change address. That group seems to have that "optimism." On the other hand, media sources play up the division. Maybe it's not as intense in the streets as a protest might suggest, but I don't really know. I _feel_ it too.
I must be living in a very special region, because it’s almost impossible NOT to end up joining a lot of organizations here. I moved here in 2018, and before I had even finished transporting all my belongings, I popped in to attend a service at the local Episcopal Church, and someone grabbed my arm and introduced me to the choir director. Once I was singing in the choir, some members got me to come along to the local community chorus rehearsals, and another got me going to the “Newcomers’ Club”. I dropped in at the local Democratic Party headquarters and started volunteering there, which led to being invited to lunch with the “Blue Hens” once a month, where the conversations veered into a lot of non-political subjects. I attended a free talk on native plants sponsored by the local master gardeners’ association and ended up signing up for their course. One of the master gardeners (who also sang in the community chorus-you may be noticing a pattern here) nudged me into joining the local herb guild. I’m really not the most sociable person in the world. In fact, when COVID hit, it was in some ways a relief that I had a little involuntary solitude. Now, I frequently have chance encounters in which I and another person look at each other and say, “you look familiar-where do we know each other from?” We usually come up with at least one possible or definite connection.
@@mitchellscheer677 not to worry-as soon as there’s a question of money changing hands, I become much more discriminating. All of the things I described cost me nothing but time. In fact, I didn’t mention this before, but when COVID did hit, I joined the Medical Reserve Corps as a volunteer, and that eventually led to a paid position as a contact tracer/case investigator that kept me gainfully employed for 3 years.
One thing I have noticed is places that are more expensive to live have much more social outlets. I lived in DC for a short time and the number of organizations and activities was amazing. College towns used to have reasonably priced areas where one could live and still be able avail themselves of all sorts of “clubs.” I now live in a poor area devoid of any culture or learning. However, there are always opportunities to volunteer and that is a great way to build “social capital.”
@@Christophe_derBerge-op9zh I lived in the DC metro area (and, at times, even in DC proper) for most of my life, so I know what you’re talking about. At the moment, I’m living in a little town just west of Virginia’s Blue Ridge. Most of the social and cultural opportunities are 15 minutes to the northwest by car, in Lexington, which has 2 universities (W&L and VMI).
I disagree with your guest. I am so scared that democracy and common decencey are on the line with this election. I have a brother who hides under a rock when he can't deal with difficulty, but now he is politically frightened about the same thing and is taking much more notice and engaging in the election. This is a terrifying time. I have other family members who are nasty with me because I don't drink their Kool-Aid. It hurts me and I worry about them.
I wonder if he thinks pickleball may turn things around, such a social game and people are joining together to play by the millions; my wife and I have met dozens of new people in the last few years. Running clubs are another great example our local club is Huge and puts on dozens of races/activities.
"People are taking away rights from and trying to dehumanize you and the people you care about? Well, thats your fault because you dont want to join bowling leagues with them." - This Doofus who believes the rights of people like me are less important than making him and people like him feel comfortable about the state of american culture. This is just a wordier more diplomatic way of telling those whose rights are being violated to just be quiet and deal with it
Putnam sees loneliness as making us vulnerable to right wing groups, but not to the leftist groups that have brought most political violence in our day. This is disingenuous. Moreover, he decries the loss of community in America but doesn't do anything about it in his life. Do as I say, not as I do?
You do realize that the FBI has highlighted right-wing extremists being responsible for the vast majority of serious political violence and domestic terrorism, right? I can out-number anything you've got in both quantity and severity at pretty much any time throughout our history.
Without incorporating a meaningful reading/criticism of capitalism, Putnam's (important) work is limited to chasing social epiphenomena. His denial that people can be too busy to develop social capital made me wince. Talk about speaking from a place of unacknowledged privilege.
He’s talking about a broad correlational trend that he found in his studies. You seem to be having an emotional reaction as opposed to objecting with some sort of argument. Is there anything in his study that you can point to that refutes such a trend? His work does not state that being busy can NEVER be a reason one fails to develop social capital. He’s saying that, based on the data he’s collected, there is no evidence that the cause of a decline in social capital over time is due to people being more busy.
Putnam's redefinition/appropriation of Bourdieu's original notion of social capital strips it of most of its critical and explanatory potential. No longer is social capital a way of understanding how inequality is generationally reproduced in relatively open societies (Bourdieu). Putnam reduces it to a vague, subjective sense of social belonging, which can be fostered through neoliberal notions such as resilience building. The reason that Putnam is maybe the world's most successful social theorist, beloved by the UNDP and World Bank, is because he threatens almost nothing. It's social science for people who don't want to do social science, and as a concept meant to explain social disconnection, vastly inferior to Durkheimian, Weberian and Marxist approaches that predate him by more than a century.
@@t3649 sorry if we don't want to be in your gulag but I am for diversity, Putnam, and letting my neighbor think, vote and act how they like because it is not a collective action effort. Instead I can still mown my neighbor's lawn if they are struggling and avoid topics that are none of my business just as my neighbors do for me and we can cheer together as our kids are on the same soccer team.
Try TimeBanking and similar mutual aid groups. Neighbor to neighbor. Credit unions. Little Free Libraries. Men's and women's groups. Yes, pickle ball. Places where kids and grandparents and parents can be together for fun. Yoga. Sharing hobbies. Community gardening. One to one tutoring for reading...or a second language or anything. Sitting on benches. Talking with strangers. Deal with local businesses and causes. Bridging as well as bonding.
I have spent my entire life making friends. I grew up in a physically and emotionally lonely environment. I never knew what to say. So when I became a young adult, I took classes on how to talk to people. I joined groups with causes, co-op preschool, connecting with my neighbors by helping them, and book clubs, just to name a few of my attempts. I reckon I made one or at most two lifelong, devoted friends per decade, the kind of friend you can call day or night for help. Now, at seventy, the lesson I learned was that making friends takes a lot of effort, a willingness to go out of your way to help them when they need it, and time and kindness. Most of the time, people you'd like to have or want as friends won't reciprocate. But when you find someone who is as happy to have you for a friend as you are to be friends, it is a gift to be repaid with loyalty and compassion, and acknowledgment.
Thank you for sharing, most appreciated!
😢😮😮uuuuuuuyuuuuiiuy😮😅😅😅😮 39:47 39:48 😂😂😂 qawessrf😮😅 40:16 40:19 39:49
The insight that club/group activities should be fun is an important point to emphasize. I think sometimes people talking about loneliness can have a bit of a hectoring tone, making it sound like we have to join groups as a chore, and people get defensive about being told to do boring chores. But good communities are never boring, they’re something you’re excited about!
Who knew John James McCullough was a Robert Putnam fan? I certainly didn't, but I'm not surprised. It's nice to know you care about community building and social atomisation too.
JJ is in the know and people in the know know Putnam.
If you're reading this and are also trying to create community, just keep doing it. It works. I read "Bowling Alone" two years ago and started a pilot project of "civic education + fun workshops" in Panama. I am sure it will work and that we'll see the positive effects in the coming years. Don' stop on your journey to create community. We're doing what we can in our little corners of the world. We must keep lighting up these little beacons that will eventually make America, and the world, shine again.
An atomized society without a social fabric is actually beneficial for industries selling crap to fill that void, it also makes political organization extremely difficult which is a nice bonus for the elites.
Yes. Wait until they sell you AI "friends" which are really vampiric entities designed to ruin your life by spying on you and stealing your autonomy.
I have spent the past 20 years building a hybrid online and in-person community based on a shared professional interest. It is a bonding community based on interest but also bridging across almost all other aspects. It takes a lot to hold it together and lately. It's been harder because people want to bring their political bonding viewpoint into the group, but we've kept it bay. I'm sure we've lost a few people because of it, but I really want to keep this steady. I really appreciate finding the work of doctor Putnam.
"Bridging" and "bonding" and common sense. Thank you professor Putnam, very insightful.
Mindblowing
Reading Putnam's "Bowling Alone" years ago, I worked even harder at connecting people. I worked both as a coordinator of events like TEDxLincoln and more recently The Nebraska Storytelling Festival. Then I read "The Upswing" and focused even more on ways I could personally be involved in connecting through my membership in Rotary here in Lincoln, Nebraska and around the world. I encourage you to connect through a service club in your community and grow the bridging social capital in our world.
I got mine, screw you, every man for himself, is the mantra and mission statement of this country, Sad 😢
Describes my eldest for four brothers exactly.
I tried different clubs for years in my twenties and never felt any belonging. My neighbours aren't friendly, therapy never helped, the one support group I found that I liked stopped meeting a few months after I joined it.
There is something bad happening socially in the WEIRD countries.
Thrifty sounds dated? OMG we are a super-consumer culture and we're killing our planet by being that way. We need more Thrifty.
what’s fascinating here is that binding social capital may be good for ameliorating loneliness-but his point about bridging social capital is really important.
As another commenter said without discussion of criticism of capitalism and immigration politics the solutions will only incorporate bootstrap politics
Putnam's redefinition/appropriation of Bourdieu's original notion of social capital strips it of most of its critical and explanatory potential. No longer is social capital a way of understanding how inequality is generationally reproduced in relatively open societies (Bourdieu). Putnam reduces it to a vague, subjective sense of social belonging, which can be fostered through neoliberal notions such as resilience building. The reason that Putnam is maybe the world's most successful social theorist, beloved by the UNDP and World Bank, is because he threatens almost nothing. It's social science for people who don't want to do social science, and as a concept meant to explain social disconnection, vastly inferior to Durkheimian, Weberian and Marxist approaches that predate him by more than a century.
28:00 That’s a really sad yet interesting point. Things don't necessarily fail due to a lack of trying, but it shows how much we are at the mercy of systems and the landscape. Urban planning very much feels like the next iteration of addressing isolation, but from a larger systemic level. It's hard to connect when it's hard to get to people in the first place or you're stranded because you don't have a car.
The part on natural disasters is extreamly relevant right now in Houston. The city doesn't suck because it does what other cities do, but because it is so darn spread out. 1-2 hours that can balloon to 3 getting from one part of the city to the other which left communities cut off from one another in a dire time. Clubs are especially tricky here because of the catering to a specific part of town because it's so annoying to go across town.
Most people have cars though.
🙏🇺🇲🦜💚 💚🦜🇺🇲🙏
💚
💚 💚
Dean Martin published an opus called Houston in 1965
More technology won't fix a problem created by more technology . Oils IS oils‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
I felt this could have been even better if the interviewer did better. I cringed at many of her questions - or maybe it was her approach. Then, I reminded myself that its the NYT. There are other interviews with Robert Putnam that are worth seeking out
If Bob Einstein was a social scientist 😅 You wouldn't even have to change names. First introduction to this man, and I already know that this guy is a treasure.
Christians, (though I no longer embrace it), do still "join" - the church. Even some move churches b/c it is still important to them even when the change address. That group seems to have that "optimism." On the other hand, media sources play up the division. Maybe it's not as intense in the streets as a protest might suggest, but I don't really know. I _feel_ it too.
I must be living in a very special region, because it’s almost impossible NOT to end up joining a lot of organizations here. I moved here in 2018, and before I had even finished transporting all my belongings, I popped in to attend a service at the local Episcopal Church, and someone grabbed my arm and introduced me to the choir director. Once I was singing in the choir, some members got me to come along to the local community chorus rehearsals, and another got me going to the “Newcomers’ Club”. I dropped in at the local Democratic Party headquarters and started volunteering there, which led to being invited to lunch with the “Blue Hens” once a month, where the conversations veered into a lot of non-political subjects. I attended a free talk on native plants sponsored by the local master gardeners’ association and ended up signing up for their course. One of the master gardeners (who also sang in the community chorus-you may be noticing a pattern here) nudged me into joining the local herb guild. I’m really not the most sociable person in the world. In fact, when COVID hit, it was in some ways a relief that I had a little involuntary solitude. Now, I frequently have chance encounters in which I and another person look at each other and say, “you look familiar-where do we know each other from?” We usually come up with at least one possible or definite connection.
Don’t let a salesman near you! 😅
@@mitchellscheer677 not to worry-as soon as there’s a question of money changing hands, I become much more discriminating. All of the things I described cost me nothing but time. In fact, I didn’t mention this before, but when COVID did hit, I joined the Medical Reserve Corps as a volunteer, and that eventually led to a paid position as a contact tracer/case investigator that kept me gainfully employed for 3 years.
One thing I have noticed is places that are more expensive to live have much more social outlets. I lived in DC for a short time and the number of organizations and activities was amazing. College towns used to have reasonably priced areas where one could live and still be able avail themselves of all sorts of “clubs.” I now live in a poor area devoid of any culture or learning.
However, there are always opportunities to volunteer and that is a great way to build “social capital.”
@@Christophe_derBerge-op9zh I lived in the DC metro area (and, at times, even in DC proper) for most of my life, so I know what you’re talking about. At the moment, I’m living in a little town just west of Virginia’s Blue Ridge. Most of the social and cultural opportunities are 15 minutes to the northwest by car, in Lexington, which has 2 universities (W&L and VMI).
I disagree with your guest. I am so scared that democracy and common decencey are on the line with this election. I have a brother who hides under a rock when he can't deal with difficulty, but now he is politically frightened about the same thing and is taking much more notice and engaging in the election. This is a terrifying time. I have other family members who are nasty with me because I don't drink their Kool-Aid. It hurts me and I worry about them.
I wonder if he thinks pickleball may turn things around, such a social game and people are joining together to play by the millions; my wife and I have met dozens of new people in the last few years. Running clubs are another great example our local club is Huge and puts on dozens of races/activities.
Robert Putnam should have a conversation with John W. Dean (author of Conservative Without Conscious) about the authoritarian follower personality.
Nonsense theory
"People are taking away rights from and trying to dehumanize you and the people you care about? Well, thats your fault because you dont want to join bowling leagues with them." - This Doofus who believes the rights of people like me are less important than making him and people like him feel comfortable about the state of american culture. This is just a wordier more diplomatic way of telling those whose rights are being violated to just be quiet and deal with it
Putnam sees loneliness as making us vulnerable to right wing groups, but not to the leftist groups that have brought most political violence in our day. This is disingenuous. Moreover, he decries the loss of community in America but doesn't do anything about it in his life. Do as I say, not as I do?
You do realize that the FBI has highlighted right-wing extremists being responsible for the vast majority of serious political violence and domestic terrorism, right? I can out-number anything you've got in both quantity and severity at pretty much any time throughout our history.
Without incorporating a meaningful reading/criticism of capitalism, Putnam's (important) work is limited to chasing social epiphenomena. His denial that people can be too busy to develop social capital made me wince. Talk about speaking from a place of unacknowledged privilege.
He’s talking about a broad correlational trend that he found in his studies. You seem to be having an emotional reaction as opposed to objecting with some sort of argument. Is there anything in his study that you can point to that refutes such a trend? His work does not state that being busy can NEVER be a reason one fails to develop social capital. He’s saying that, based on the data he’s collected, there is no evidence that the cause of a decline in social capital over time is due to people being more busy.
Putnam's redefinition/appropriation of Bourdieu's original notion of social capital strips it of most of its critical and explanatory potential. No longer is social capital a way of understanding how inequality is generationally reproduced in relatively open societies (Bourdieu). Putnam reduces it to a vague, subjective sense of social belonging, which can be fostered through neoliberal notions such as resilience building. The reason that Putnam is maybe the world's most successful social theorist, beloved by the UNDP and World Bank, is because he threatens almost nothing. It's social science for people who don't want to do social science, and as a concept meant to explain social disconnection, vastly inferior to Durkheimian, Weberian and Marxist approaches that predate him by more than a century.
@@t3649 sorry if we don't want to be in your gulag but I am for diversity, Putnam, and letting my neighbor think, vote and act how they like because it is not a collective action effort. Instead I can still mown my neighbor's lawn if they are struggling and avoid topics that are none of my business just as my neighbors do for me and we can cheer together as our kids are on the same soccer team.
@@t3649 amen dude
It’s hard for me to be lonely. I have a different man over every night 😞
Confessions of a 304.
Bot
@@ecognitio9605 I’m not a bot sweetie.
@@timothyhogan3427 city girl for life!!!
@@SamanthaStevenson76 Then I hope you get lots of checkups!
Try TimeBanking and similar mutual aid groups. Neighbor to neighbor. Credit unions. Little Free Libraries. Men's and women's groups. Yes, pickle ball. Places where kids and grandparents and parents can be together for fun. Yoga. Sharing hobbies. Community gardening. One to one tutoring for reading...or a second language or anything. Sitting on benches. Talking with strangers. Deal with local businesses and causes. Bridging as well as bonding.
The presenter is completely wrong and nefarious in her reasoning. It’s not about “trusting the government”, it’s about trusting other people.