Use my code MRSEATS and link: lddy.no/11mgt to get $20 your own amazing Japanese sake box from Tippsy! Start exploring the rich culture and history of Japanese sake today! WATCH PART 1 HERE! ua-cam.com/video/nnsuSpugNmE/v-deo.html Sorry everyone! I had to re-upload because of audio problems! Anyway, what do you think of these cultural issues? Do you think they will stop you from living in Japan? Let me know!!
I want to move to Japan but before I intend to learn Japanese and the history of Japan and the culture so I know I'm a strict believer in the when in Rome idea if I intend to live in the country if I intend to work, eat in restaurants and live beside the people then I should adjust my lifestyle
I'm definitely just going to visit and enjoy the cultural and natural sights. The immaterial aspects of the country are almost completely opposed to how I like to live my life (direct, honest communication, pushing to improve things rather than bowing to tradition and conservatism).
When I lived in Japan honne and tatemae really started to weigh heavily on me. I've read a couple of peoples comments and I agree that every country has something like this to a degree. However, in Japan, it's taken to the extreme. Someone could say they like your shirt and mean the exact opposite. Tatemae is also quite literally 95%+ of what you'll hear most of the time. While it does create harmony it also makes everyone the same and it felt like I couldn't get to know anyone. For both me and my partner, we came to the conclusion that it's better to visit Japan than to live there.
This honne tatemae thing doesn't apply to close friends , so if you do make close japanese friends , you won't need to worry about this . Honne tatemae only applies to people whom you have met recently or people who aren't very close to you . People close to you will straight up say that they find the shirt boring or they don't like the shirt lol .
But I prefer the person to say they like my shirt even if it’s not true rather than being direct and mean or rude sounding.. I don’t mind it at all and I also participate in Tatemae because I want to make harmony and not offend or insult anyone so it’s better just to say nice things even if you don’t entirely like something
Having a public face and private face could sometimes be taken as masking though?? And speaking indirectly isn’t impossible to understand since I do it myself sometimes. I’m Japanese and autistic. A lot of the time I want to play video games and be left alone but I’m not going to say it out loud every week. Also while I may be chill and somewhat friendly with most people, I wouldn’t consider everyone I interact with a friend, or specifically a close friend. I’ll respect most people from a distance, but will go ahead and go the extra mile for anyone I’m actually close to (mostly family or a lover). I’d cook a meal or put a hand on their shoulder when they need it. Also, if someone I don’t really know asks me if I’’m okay when I have, for example, kidney stones, I’m not going to tell them about it since it really isn’t their business and would rather discuss it with my doctor instead.
Having diagnosed autism in general is choosing the hard life in japan. Most people go as long as possible (from denial, shame, etc) to not get their kids diagnosed
Besides learning the Japanese cultural aspects that people need to adhere to, the most important question is: Did Mr. Eats get his snack that was promised? 🤔
European employer: "So that everyone on the team can take their holiday, I need to employ 11 people." Japanese employer: "They will guilt trip each other into not taking holiday, so only I need to employ 10 people. They will blame each other, not me." The culture of not taking time off because it will put extra work on co workers is one of the greatest tricks of the economic masters. The owners of the business benefit when people don't take their holiday. They don't need to employ the right number of people to do the work. Classic exploitation mixed with some cultural Stockholm effect. People look at the phenomenon purely as a cultural thing and not through an economic lens.
An employers ability to dink you over and try to get you to blame each other I think is universal in most countries. Just how they do it seems to vary.
@@dantheman8103 - actually it is far worse in Japan. Look at the average hours someone works a year compared to Europe and how low their productivity is. I work for a multinational company and I can often see my Japanese colleagues working at about midnight, whereas we all start clocking off from about 6pm, or earlier. The fact that all businesses need to extract more value from their employees than they pay them does not make the way it is done universal.
Lucky me, I am the only delivery driver in my state for the company for which I work, so vacation isn't an issue (or if it is, they might be too cheap to fire me.)
@@thedragonofthewest5789 - outsiders often point to this as quite a positive aspect of Japanese culture, because people are meant to be so caring about each other. It's naive - no one wants to get the finger pointed at them for not pulling their weight. And no one ever asks the economic question "Cui bono?".
Americans like to know "why" something is done a certain way. Answers like "It's just that way" make it hard to understand. We don't necessarily judge by asking why, but it helps us understand when something is more appropriate than other situations. However locals can not always understand why something is part of their culture making it difficult to explain to foreigners. I have this problem with my wife and her family and learning Mexican culture.
Yet they can NEVER tell you "why" things are done in America like the way they are. WHY do they wear filthy shoes indoors? WHY does everyone need to walk around with a mug or Starbucks cup of watered down coffee every morning? WHY are the servers so annoyingly fake at a restaurant?
@@Jumpoable not all Americans wear shoes indoors, and the people who do so usually have a specific reason: some people find it more comfortable or see it as dirty to walk around with bare feet, even inside their own homes. Americans like coffee because they need to wake up for work, and they like Starbucks because it tastes good to them, although it doesn’t to you. Workers seem fake because that’s how customer service is in America, they are trying to be as courteous to you as possible, plus most of a waitstaff paycheck is derived from what the customer decides to give them. This also depends on where you’re drawing examples from.
Some of this rang so true in my experience. I was a naval reservist who spent my annual training in Japan. The shipyard was operated by the US Navy and worked mostly, but not totally, on US ships. The workers in the shops were all Japanese (with a few small exceptions for very specialized jobs). I was extremely impressed how well Japanese teams worked together, more effectively than Americans. This might sound like a good thing, but it sometimes it backfired. For instance, there were some smaller jobs where one worker in a US shipyard would have just walked in and completed the job in the time the Japanese team was organizing. I also ran into a couple of instances where the shop supervisor was totally wrong in how the job should be done -- and nobody dared contradict him. They would have very efficiently done as told, even though the result would be wrong. In those cases, I had to step in and simply state that was not how things would be done. This was considered acceptable since I was representing the Navy and was considered to be the "customer". The funny thing was that some of the engineers later told me that they liked having Americans in the planning meetings because we had no problem with questioning authority. They believed that teams made up of American and Japanese workers was better than either one alone because their strengths complemented each other.
Great video! As for the point about expectations on women in society here, this is one area where I’ve really noticed change in the 20 years I’ve been here. For example, the ‘female staff serve tea to visitors’ idea was very much alive back when I first started working on public schools. About 10 years back it suddenly shifted though, and now the official policy is ‘the nearest staff member to the tea station does it’. Just a small thing, but I thing it’s an example of how cultural change is happening.
@@subzerohf Not necessarily…but you raise a good point. If an older teacher is the nearest one when the ‘tea call’ goes out, he/she will usually say, “I’m busy. Can you do it?” to the nearest young teacher. THIS cultural norm hasn’t changed much, come to think of it.
Ironically, in the West, being the tea server was a position of authority and honor. The hostess served tea directly no matter how high ranked she was, so she was the queen of the tea table. Getting coffee is a flunky's job in offices though.
I too saw this when I first moved here 17+ years ago, I was in an Investment Bank at the time that was quite domestic for being a foreign company. A few years later, I moved to my previous company and have not seen much of that if at all since. I am sure there are more old school traditional environments that follow such practices, but am quite sure it is becoming less and less the norm.
As a Japan-born Japanese, I agree with you for so many parts you mentioned. What exhausts me the most in Japan is that so many people build human relationship only in a vertical form. meaning that if you regard someone higher position, you go with tons of politeness. sometimes too much. But if you regard someone lower, you would act as rude as you want to be. And, young/female/non-national (in such case, especially non-white) / disabled / non-heterosexual people are the ones who are considered ‘low’. customers are ‘high’. This is why you feel amazing as a visitor. If you decided to be a part of the society and get a job, things are completely different. This applies even between students or between couples. seniors are superior, males are superior. (look at the politicians - all are rich, second or third generation, older, male who’s running the government) In Japan, all kinds of discrimination is built in into the the society, or even small communication. And people are so adjusting themselves to this custom, that many of them become violent (verbally, on the Internet) towards ‘lower’ class citizens who opposes to the custom and making a change. Japan won’t change. It’s getting even backwards. I think this opinion of mine will be attacked as well.
Thank you so much for this. I'm a black African female and I've been considering moving to Japan for school. This made me realise I have more things to think about
In Japan, Bushido Culture is hard to reconcile with modern culture from what I’ve heard. The old social order actually breaks many people and leaves the society less strong as opposed to more strong. Hikikomori are a tragic extreme example of this as are Kodokushi who become the extreme outcome of the Hikikomori lifestyle. The rise of ‘herbivore men’ among the youth seems to be a rebellion against Bushido. A similar thing is happening in the United States now with ‘The Great Resignation’ where younger people, feeling disenfranchised, are refusing to work ‘normal’ jobs since there seems to be no profit in it.
@@mistreme8341 I’m not sure. Bushido - samurais were only a few percent of population anyway. It has never been shared among all people in the history, as 90% of us were peasants who had rather been oppressed by samurais. It was the military that brought convenient parts of the bushido into the society as if it has been the soul of every Japanese, which I think is utterly manipulative. Japan is like a gigantic abusive family. young people in Japan nowadays are so obedient and many of them don’t have hope for the society or they cannot believe they are worthy. and government is happy about that , they want to keep it this way because then they can do whatever they want and still people don’t get angry (because people are convinced that nobody will help).
By the way ‘herbivorous men’ is just a term that some magazines or TV show started using jokingly for those who are not so keen in leading his romantic relationship or being in a romantic relationship in general, so I don’t think this term should be taken seriously when we discuss social issues.
I live in Japan also. And I want to add another culture aspect to deal with it is that hierarchy. NO mather how much knowldge you have , or language or something what matter is your age. Unfortunaly they only care about your age not knowldge base. Your senpai always who knows better. Especcially who is working in Japan will have a hard time about this.
As someone who has worked in Japan for almost 6 years, I can relate to the things mentioned here. In fact, I'm still struggling coming out of person I have become while being there now that I am in another country. But my time in Japan is something I will never exchange for any other experiences. Japan is a complex yet beautiful country and culture.
The gender dynamics is spot on. I'm glad you're bringing it up. When I have some american friends ask me why I don't just find a job in Japan, it's because I don't think I could handle the dynamics of it, especially since I work in a male-dominated field. Of course, that's not the rule, but it's something I know my personality cannot handle. I love Japan, but I don't think I could work there.
Yeah even once I’m fluent in Japanese I’m not moving to Japan until I know I’m going to be in a good work environment as a female programmer (Sony is my dream company but that news the other day…😒)
It’s possible to work remotely for foreign companies while still you live in Japan. You just need some incomes to enjoy your life in places of your choice. Not necessarily need to live in Japan.
@@yutaka618 Completely true! I have a good number of friends who do that. However, with my sort of technical skills (civil/utilities engineering) I cannot work remote for the most part (mostly legal reasons tbh). But you're completely right. If you can remote work, then it's fine, but I think the video implies working at a company in Japan moreso than remote work.
@@cityintake a place that doesn’t reek of brogrammer culture, and where I’m not the only woman. I’ve read too many horror stories… luckily my current employer isn’t like that
@@TsugMt - I replied to this but foolishly put a link in, which meant my post got deleted! There is a funny meme floating around titled, "what British people say and what they mean" which you can find on Google images. It is the practice of understatement and sometimes saying the exact opposite of what you are really intending to say, but still making your meaning clear to the recipient. It is a less direct and more subtle way of speaking.
@@Andre-rp4pn - you could say that for a load of countries! Following my other comment, there is a similar meme about what Japanese say and what they mean. T "This is very interesting" = "This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard" Yep - I can relate to that in the UK too.
I've been to Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Okinawa. If you respect people and are polite, but most important of all don't throw the "I'm an American, I can do what I want" attitude- you should do fine. I visited these countries numerous times as a Marine. I never had any super negative experiences, a few misunderstandings. But I was always polite. That's appreciated, anywhere you go. Try to learn about other cultures, it helps. But, if you're super sensitive about the differences, well, just stay home.
I love the stoicism of the Japanese people. I remember seeing drivers, with absolutely relaxed body and facial expressions, waiting at a light and watching the pedestrians cross. It was also 4 days in Tokyo before I heard someone honk their horn, and that was only once. Wherever I went people dressed well. The streets were so clean, as were the trains. People were so gracious to me the entire time. What a wonderful country. I hope to live there one day.
In the UK, hospitality sector can be like this,overly friendly but it's not often fully genuine, or co-workers might be like this. Other side of this would be when you work at a shop or a cafe you migh be smiling so much that later you keep smiling constantly even on way home. When I was a barista I used to catch myself still smiling to strangers on a bus automatically, my face hurt. Our bosses would scold us if we stopped smiling in a few places I worked at,even when there were no customers and we just wanted a break for our facial muscles. So this is a problem to some degree in many places. But the nature of it is different everywhere. Then again,when I'm in countries that don't put in that overly friendly face in customer service, and openly show if they are tired etc, I don't like that either. 🙈 I guess all of this is okay as long and it's not overdone.
The rules of etiquette between Japan and England are remarkably similar. I wonder if that has to do with the smooth operation of robust populations on Island States.
@@mistreme8341 Interesting, I don't know enough about Japan to compare the two fully. Would you care to give some examples? I'm wondering whether Japan really is more "official" and higher on the "different faces to family and co-workers/customers" scale or are the two countries really more similar in this regard. Sorry if my sentence structure sounds a bit off, I'm a bit sleepy 😅
Actually a lot of Japanese people have changed from that cultural aspect, it still exists, but there are Japanese people who have changed from it all, like honme and tatamae, it's like it doesn't apply in Kansai or Osaka, many people there don't close, they are frank, expressing themselves, this is the experience of some of my friends who saw it. And I think there are also many Japanese people who take vacations, depending on the situation, especially young people, I don't think you should judge them like "work for a lifetime", as evidenced by the fact that they also go to the beach to relax.
I live in California and visited Japan for 10 days in the 90's. While I loved Tokyo and the experience and would love to visit again, the work/life balance was enough for me to know I would be unhappy living there.
I definitely want to visit at some point, especially Northern Japan because there's some very beautiful nature up there. But I definitely agree that I couldn't live there because of the work culture.
I'm just going to point out that the average hours worked for salaried employees is actually higher in the US than in Japan, not including overtime. That is, US employees are REQUIRED to work longer hours than Japanese employees are REQUIRED to work. I can't find good data on overtime, but even if we assume that Japanese workers work 2 extra hours per day, they still fall short of America's total (depends on the year and source, not concrete). America's work culture isn't exactly cupcakes. There's a reason rush hour usually lasts 2 hours.
In India everyone always agrees to everything when they don't mean it, that was quite a culture shock to learn that and try to read between the lines all the time 😅. Sounds similar with Japan. The group focus is instead a family focus more though.
If u live in cities , I think everyone is more frank than those who r in towns and villages . But yeah, people do agree to ur face to kinda maintain their “dignity” (especially in case of women who are quick to be criticised about their opinions) , and mostly bitch abt people at their backs (which I have seen , heard and unfortunately been part of a lot). It is more of a social standing and image which is important in India than u know , ur convenience (or sometimes even ur happiness) . All in all , Indians are different culturally in almost every state , so u find a variety of the good and the bad all around. Hope u have or had a good time in India 🤗
@@Aparajitha... thanks, yes, it is a wider issue. My husband is Indian and it took me a while to get used to the automatic saying 'yes' to plans or thinking that 'sounds good', means yes. But he also isn't doing it as much now :p In India I did unfortunately feel quite an outsider whilst living there but also found people to be very kind. I'm a very direct person though so I'd struggle adjusting in Japan just as I did in India. I did love the food and small original businesses in India, like very unique cafes and restaurants and colorful clothes. You are right that the place I lived in might have been more traditional, although not a town, than if I lived in a different city. Regards,
One of my friends here in Japan is Arab and he experienced the Honne Tatemae / passive aggressive type of communication at work with his manager but when he brought it to her attention that he couldn’t understand what she wanted;she started to make an effort to be more direct with him and now says what she means. I’ve experienced certain passive aggressiveness in Japan like “Gaijin ghost seating” but honestly if I’m ever in a place where I need help and I ask for help the people are always more than willing to help me even if we have to use google translate.I understand that I am not in my own culture so I must adapt to my environment and I don’t take things personally. I must say that these videos have helped me better understand and navigate the culture here. Thank you for your content! Great information, especially for those travelers who are soon to visit once the borders open back up!
I was stationed in Northern Japan 2001-2004, we had to take a 1.5 hour culture class which helped immensely. I think your videos could help a lot people who live abroad to think before moving . No one should ever move to another country and not expect a learning curve.
Its good and bad. As a foreigner, you will never be accepted into Japanese society, but no one will expect you to follow traditions and rules you and you can always ask for help and get away with so many things with the foreigner card. Dont expect to ever integrate into the culture, but just enjoy your position as a foreigner learning about things and having fun. You should also never put pressure on yourself to fit in. Society is just a bunch of people, and you're a person to, so your ways of life are just as valid as theirs.
If smoking cigarettes and drinking beer gets the whole team suspended for a month they would have executed my high school American football team 75% of that team was on adderall on game days and we also had a small section that did bumps of coke in the locker room and on the bus rides to away games. After I graduated there was even a investigation for steroid usage.
I like the balance between positive and critical aspects about Japan, because all countries have upsides and downsides. Concerning 本音 (Honne) and 建前 (Tatemae) I have to mention that younger Japanese people are less making Honne and Tatemae.
As a person who doesn’t feel like he is from any country I just go with the flow. If I do a favor I expect nothing in return. Someone compliments me I’ll just say an expressionless Thank you. I’ve lived alone for so long, seems like Japan would be an ideal fit. People just tend to leave me alone. The things that most attracts me of Japan is if I were mugged, I wouldn’t get killed, the train/bus is so great(would not have to worry about car trouble), people are helpful and not friendly but polite. Keeps us all in our personal space. Cost of living is sooooo cheap. My only problem is the perception bias, but that’s ok. I can live with that.
Concise, well-articulated and informative video! Nice to see Mr. Eats presenting part of the video. He has a very soft and considerate manner that pairs well with the sensitivities of communicating cross cultural information.
Yeah, had trouble with the honne and tattame. Was going based on people's actions and not words at times, so maybe misunderstood many times if someone was just being polite or if they were interested. Also have experienced where people were nice to my face, then would overhear them talking to their friends saying I'm weird for liking anime, or something. So...kind of made me not want to really talk to many Japanese people honestly. No offense to Japanse people and the culture, but was kind of disheartening not knowing if I was wasting my time or not with a friendship, or crush.
OKURIBITO It’s a great movie everyone should watch it! English title.: “DEPARTURES”! Interesting look into Japanese view and treatment of death! Very touching movie I wonder if Mr. eats has seen it!? Or Mrs. eats!! Japanese cinema is great Talk about that!
There is a YT channel called The "Black Experience in Japan" that talks about black expats living in Japan. Most of them love living there in contrast to living in the US. So, I think ethnic groups will differ in how people view Japan. In general, living somewhere where we feel safer, are treated more fairly (and sometimes seen as exotic), will always beat living in America.
I cant imagine how hard it was for my japanese teachers to accept peoples behavior when they came to Bosnia 😅😂 i bet they were shocked beyond comprehension 😬
I learned basic Japanese and culture for a year in uni and then spent a year in Southern Japan in a small, inland, agricultural town. While i thought the experience was life changing, at times shocking, after a year I knew Japan was not the place for me. Learning about culture and living the culture are completely different. The biggest tip if you wish to live in a foreign country is to find a Ms. Eats. She will help you a lot.
1. Being two-faced. It's literally a phenomenon worldwide. Practically everyone does it. 2. Being passive aggressive, that's toxic but it just means that Japanese men speak like American women. Not a big deal. 3. You are a foreigner, you will never be part of the group anyways, why would you care if your vacation affects your coworkers? Work is work. Don't try to be friends with your coworkers regardless of the country. Oh no, your coworkers whom you most likely don't even want to see outside of work might be dissatisfied that you took your days off. You shouldn't care about this at all unless you are mentally ill or raised in a place where this is the norm. 4. Japan's societal pressure towards having children obviously isn't strong enough, the birthrate is 0.9. Nowhere near enough people settling down and having kids. Sexual harassment is bad, but if you are a man you won't personally suffer from it (much, gay men in Asia can be rather....aggressive) and you can take advantage of being a "brash" foreigner to call attention to it if you see it. As a foreign woman feel free to straight up bitch slap a man. They won't arrest you for it but they will arrest the man. 5. Other people's choice of when to retire will have literally zero impact on your own life. Even if you find a Japanese husband or wife the odds are that they are very interested in foreign cultures already. I'm sorry to say guys, but the average foreigner living in Japan wouldn't even notice these things. They go to work, teach their English class, then bum around with the tens of thousands of other foreigners in Japan and the circle of Japanese people that prefer the company of foreigners. The only way you would suffer from any of this is if you were perversely interested in trying to actually live exactly like a very traditional Japanese person. Some things like being two faced aren't even Japan specific. Just because you have a name for it doesn't make it a special Japanese social construct.
I'm American living in America and one of my biggest frustrations with the people around me is that they are not direct enough. I'm not a mind reader - if you want something, fucking ask me for it and then be okay with a no, just in case. That's what I expect from and for everyone. How else are we supposed to get things done?
In America we have a very similar saying to "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." that essentially means the exact opposite. We say "The squeaky wheel get the grease". Basically meaning how are you suppose to get what you want if you are not vocal about it.
This was very helpful! I think the hardest thing for me will be the direct thing as I'm not very good with social cues and all that! I guess it be something to learn when I finally move there!
There are three ways to say things in Japanese, polite, familiar and vulgar, understanding this helps tremendously with understanding the context of what is being said to you. This is why being mindful and thoughtful about what you say and do is critical to integration. Though all foreigners are given some leeway, which if you're smart you can use for your advantage.
Wait....why would you count Dragonball Evolution as a bad thing about Japan? Japan didn't make that steaming pile. 'Murica did. Don't take our mistakes away from us! They are all we have left =(
@default i think it depends of the person too, im brazilian and i have a lot brazilian friends who doesn't want to speak their minds bc they're too afraid of being judged
For me the problem would not be anger it would be conforming adjusting is fine but to conform and cast aside the you to fit in is something i personally cant tolerate
I'm so amused that there's a polite word for the two-faced stuff in Japan. That, to a certain extent, is VERY Acadian (French-Canadian) too. My mother's family is Acadian-American and EXTREMELY non-confrontational so there can be A LOT of avoidance, backstabbing, and speaking in ways you described being normal in Japan. It's so frustrating!
"the goal of deception isnt to deceive someone" sounds like deception with extra steps and double-speak. "its not that i dont want to go, i just cant ..." (tell you that i dont want to go, because that would require HONESTY and DIRECTNESS, instead i will lie to your face with a fake smile and pretend i like you, but im being polite, i swear!) "jpn only take half their vacation because its a burden on their coworkers" this is a failure of management and budgeting. they should be scheduling the right amount of staff and hiring enough people. using guilt on an employee for taking their vacation is DISGUSTING. its very similar to "tipping" culture, where the customer is supposed to "choose" to just "pay more" for their food with the intent that extra money goes to the waitstaff. here too it is a failure of management to just pay their waitstaff well in the first place. additionally, it shifts the burden to the customer to make up the wages for the greedy business owner, and pits the waitstaff against the customer if they "choose" not to just pay extra for no benefit.
another thing is how grocery stores and markets want you to donate extra money on top of your purchase to charities on holidays 🤔 instead of just donating a portion of the profits they are already making, as if to put the burden of charity on the customer so that the business doesn’t actually lose any money.
generally yeah the US is more direct even at work but we do have a "customer service" personality and voice. of course there are still people that are indirect and passive even in their private lives. as an autistic person the idea that this sort of passiveness is cultural makes me really mad, I would hate it there. god I have no idea how autistic japanese people would survive, especially considering that their understanding and care of mental health and it's services is somehow way behind the US (according to a japanese therapist in a small documentary I watched on mental health in japan)
Regarding woman staying home to have families. As recently as the 1990s 70% of women agreed with this. But the UN wasn't having it. The UN demanded that Japan alter its culture to become more like the west and Japan was bullied into creating a government department to propagandize to women, telling them not to have families but to go out and work instead. The birthrate has now collapsed and the UN is demanding that Japan alter its culture further by beginning mass migration to replace Japanese people, restock the workers and boost the worth of investments held by UN affiliated oligarchs. The UN cannot be wiped out soon enough.
I feel like honne and tatetmae definitely exist in the US. You say "I'm fine" even if you are not. If someone asks if their outfit is nice, but you think it isn't you might say "Oh, the color is nice". Anyone who works in customer service is a master at it. There is also a very funny meme here in the US where people prank their older relatives with a fake video chat where a friend shows off their extremely strange looking baby. If the relative catches on that it's a "video call" they often do some pretty amazing gymnastics to avoid accidentally saying something that might insult the friend and "her baby" when asked how cute said baby is
I definitively agree, so many westerners say they don't like Japan because of tatemae and honne despite practicioning it themselves. we already have terms for it and similar concepts in english like "lying through your teeth", "fake it till you make it", and several others. Even the aspect of culture shock Mrs. Eats talked about in the last video is more of a universal thing when moving to a new country rather than a strictly Japanese expat thing.
As a Dutch person, it's crazy to me how you can call Americans direct. Americans beat around the bush so much, definitely not direct and for sure not as direct as the Dutch. imagine the culture shock between The Netherlands and Japan, lol
Come live in the southern US where honne tatemae is alive and thriving. I had an Australian friend who lived in Japan for some years then moved here to the South and he said the culture was very similar.
Yep, a stranger who needed help will be ten steps around the corner after being greeted pleasantly and told what he needed to know and then one guy will go "Hey, Jimbob, did you get a load of that thar dumbass?" There will be hoots and hollering. Southern Hospitality is similar in a way now that I think about it....
That would explain why when I was down South no one spoke about anyone directly and Yes, No answers didn't mean much. Lotta talking behind peoples backs. More than I've ever seen in my life. Totally different than up North.
Visiting other countries and researching other cultures just shows that everyone is a blank slate at birth that is me tally and emotionally shaped by the people around them. We all lose our true nature right after birth. We are named and scolded and pressured until we are a living thought program. Free your mind and heart through meditation and self awareness
About the honne/tatemae thing, I find it pretty much like Catholic morality, you gotta act according to the values in public, have to lend a hand to those in need, feel pitty, no thief; ought to blame ourselves for everything: sexual desire, not wanting to have children, falling in love with same sex person, also, this one disgusts me the most belief over science, wellness lays on family and respect for hierarchy, but behind the locked door all the disgusting and horrible stuff you're holding back 💥 cannot be held any longer. It's double moral, basically. I hate it, and when the State appeals this morality culture the result is chaos. Well, in Japan there's no such a thing as chaos, I guess, but that public mask we have to put on, feels kinda similar to me
On the note of taking a week vacation. Is it not possible to work ahead to alleviate some of the burden? I work in a role in which if I miss work then my coworker has to cover, but I can do things ahead of time (verifying schedules, taking care of any major deadlines, advising the one who is covering what special handling needs to be done, etc) ahead of time to lessen any work they make have to cover.
Other countries: we want to retire early. Many Asia countries: we shall push back our retirement age for another 10 years so we can save more money to enjoy later. 😅😅😅
@@MrsEats Hahaha. I really love your channel since your reaction to Rainych and uncle Roger videos. I will always come back. You brought one of the most important point. Honne and Tatemae. That's one of the biggest issues most foreigners are dealing with including my fellow Malaysian friends. I'm a Malaysian dude, I've never been to Japan. Like I said in the previous comment section, I'm going to Japan for only one... mission... ... To find a Japanese wife. 😊 I'm currently learning Japanese just for that! Nice and good informative video Mrs Eat. Well done! 👏
Here in the Deep South of the US, we also have a version of honne tatemae. It's called good manners. We also have a way of being very polite while really meaning we think you're a jackass. "Bless your heart " can be as much of an insult as it is an expression of sympathy. Though only a southerner can hear the very subtle difference in how and when it's said.
To me the most challenging task would be keeping the smile on my face for longer than 10 seconds because I'm a grumpy menacing looking guy but I'm an adorable snuggle bunny inside 😊
Maybe this was discussed in a previous video and I just missed it, but I'd be curious to learn more about the LGBT situation in Japan before visiting someday. I'm guessing that as long as you keep public displays of affection to a minimum in a bigger city, you'd be completely safe, but I think it's worth asking nonetheless. With that said, I enjoyed the last two videos a lot, it's good to tamper your expectations! Some people base their whole view of the country based on quirky anime and games and don't consider the actual cultural aspects of the country.
I think every country and culture in the World can be criticized for something, realistically some more than others. Japanese culture is rich and full of life. The culture does have its flaws, of course, just like my Western country culture, but they are not unredeemable. Can Japanese keep what's best about their culture and make progress about what's not so great? Yes, I believe so. To me, one of the important thing is: Can the country/culture evolve and stay relevant for the next generation? I believe that's going to be the defining factor in the future.
Mrs Eats, you are a great spokesperson. You enjoy many treats and drinks but you keep a girlish figure all the same. You both are really articulate when it comes to discussing culture and the experience of the differences, nicelty done, you pair "Mr and Mrs Eats" :)
I’m very introvert and can detect whether that person is using indirect language or direct language. One thing I would get confrontation is when that person clearly got caught for lying to me in indirect language. I’ll be pissed. Instead of admitting, they’ll try to beat every bush around them to escape the reality, I got their lies. This will be make me angry and conclude “ you’re just toying with my emotions, my time and my effort.”
It sounds like you're reflecting on an experience or observation related to corporate culture, particularly in the context of Japanese culture and possibly drawing parallels with American corporate culture. You're right that many traits often associated with Japanese work culture-like hierarchy, long working hours, or a strong emphasis on loyalty to the company-can also be found in corporate America. Corporate cultures can share similarities across countries, especially when it comes to the pressures of performance, efficiency, and organizational loyalty. Was there something specific that triggered this thought for you? It seems like you're thinking deeply about these parallels.
Honne and Tatemai is kinda tough to deal with with my friends sometimes, but I feel like I'm getting good at knowing which is which when talking to them. At least I've had practice before even moving.
You two are a hoot! way back, our neice our neice did a english language gig in Japan. She really didn't prepare herself and as a result she was misserable. Frankly, I'd love to visit.
I love your channel 🥰❤ not only informative but you and Mr Eats are hilarious!! 😂😂😂 Also I want to know what pearl cream you use??? Your skin is gorgeous!
Sure. Try working somewhere in Japan where you're not getting your ass kissed for being a foreigner. You'll see how direct Japanese people can and will be with you, and how they'll use that old tatemae/honne trope to screw you over if they decide they don't like you. Sometimes being different means you'll be ostracized and discriminated against in a bad way, no matter how hard you work and how much of the culture you know how to follow.
Correct, I'm a hapa and grew up in Japan until 14yrs old. My depression was pretty bad the last couple years. Glad we moved to US. I would not have made it in Japan,.
Honne Tatemae culture is very strong in Indonesia too, esp in traditional Javanese society where being friendly and well mannered in public to avoid direct conflict is a must, to the point of being fake. Useless nonsense chit chat with strangers or people you are not interested to, so they will perceive you as being "bubbly and friendly" The consequence of such action is non stop gossiping behind someone's back. It's honestly very exhausting.
My Boss used to do that tatemae indirect thing when I got in late (germany). Honestly thats more effective because of how emberassing it is when he tries to come up with solutions for you even though you are just a lazy pig and played too much overwatch last night.
Funny thing is for us Germans or Europeans in General Americans are consideret as superficial. For exempel they ask you often: "How are you?" But they don't really care if you are okay or not, it's just a common thing to say in the US and they don't expect you to answer it in every detail. A German person instead would tell you their whole story and if they recognize you to simulate your interest you have to deal with their directness and there is no difference between work and life. I think the Japanese are on a much higher level of being superficial, cause it's connected to the whole Honne and Tatamae behavior and they try everything to get out of any confrontations, which is the complete opposide of how Europeans would handle such situations. I think all this directness from Europeans has a very simple background. We often lived, whether Germanic or Celtic, in villages and clan communities, where there were often council meetings, (Thing) where the oldest people came together and where the best argument and the best tongue counted. You simply had to address things directly. We were also surrounded by deep forests where you didn't meet anyone for a long time and you didn't know when you'd meet again. and it only took a few steps to get to a place where they used a different dialect or language. So you had to be direct to make things clear without any misunderstandings. Moreover there were no borders back in time, so we had exchange with many clans, tribes and cultures around us. I think being on a Island and cut off from the mainland and on a Island with a lot of natural disasters and wars between each other probably made people more sensitive to solidarity within the group. While wars also occur in Europe but you were free to go to an other country or made bounderies with other tribes, if they let you in or you earned their respect. We know about the migration of peoples or the invasion of the Germanic peoples into Rome and Britain. The Individual had more opportunitys as on a small isolated Island.
I wouldn't say it's as superficial as you believe it to be. Maybe it comes off that way because such things are said as a greeting often. If I'm passing by someone on the street and we notice each other we might say,"How's it going?" followed by a short response and we keep going our own ways. If someone actually wants to address it and needs someone to talk to, more often than not someone is going to listen to you. Then we also say stuff like that when we meet up with someone. It's an initial greeting, then as the conversation opens up more we listen. We aren't expecting people to stop and give a long story because that's not the purpose of the greeting. Still if you decided to spill the beans, most people would be willing to hear you out.
I love Japan!!!!!! Been there many times but I don’t fit in mentally there 😂 it sucks so I can manage for short period of times , but I couldn’t live there and be happy 😢
6:41 There's this perception worldwide that Japan is "ancient." Yes, compared to countries such as the USA. But to put things in perspective, during the time of Julius Caesar and the height of the Roman Empire, Japan was in the early Yayoi Period and just learning to make iron tools and farm rice.
@@Maatkara1000 And if you're familiar with European culture and especially Italian culture, there's a continuous line of cultural osmosis from Roman times to the Renaissance to modern times. The Europeans were quite aware (in fact, in awe) of the heritage of Rome and the educated studied Latin and Aeneid, Ovid and Greek philosophers for 1600 years after the Empire fell. Magnificent buildings have been built in the Roman and Greek styles up to the modern era. It's part of the cultural heritage of the West, as deep as the influence of Tang China on Japan. The Tang Dynasty is long gone too. Europeans didn't revert back to caveman days after the Empire fell. Especially not on the Italian peninsula. The central authority was gone but the civilization lingered.
I struggle with being direct and appearing aggressive too- I hate it, so I’m often kind and gentle hoping people get this it’s a gentle “no” but in the USA, I’m often seen as a doormat. The problem is though- I also wear my heart on my sleeve. I am open to all- which is unwise as well as unsafe even sometimes. I need to learn to wear a mask or at least close the door at times.
This is such an interesting video and many of the points are so spot-on, which is why I decided not to live in Japan. I reasoned that based on what I knew of Japan, of myself and what I had seen from friends who returned home completely changed (not for the better) after living in Japan, that living in Japan would be a mistake for me. Your point about foreigners being given more leeway is an excellent one. Initially I tried to learn the language, understand the culture & behave in a way that I thought the Japanese would admire me for my efforts. However, I found that IF they thought I knew a lot about Japan & Japanese things, that their level of expectation for me was way above my understanding & my ability. Therefore I took a step back and simply became the Gaigin on holidays, and everything was much better. Post Covid I will go to Japan to visit friends and participate in organised activities, tour around the country, and then return home after an enjoyable time away. I might well be seen as the dumb gaigin, but that's just a price I am happy to pay to retain my sanity. I am not interested in 'turning Japanese'. Some of my friends tried that and all the joy was sucked out of them.
Japan has an amazing culture, but you should come live in Brazil and watch Japanese stuff from here :) Check this: we don't even have words or expressions to mean "lose face", or "gain face".
Use my code MRSEATS and link: lddy.no/11mgt to get $20 your own amazing Japanese sake box from Tippsy! Start exploring the rich culture and history of Japanese sake today!
WATCH PART 1 HERE! ua-cam.com/video/nnsuSpugNmE/v-deo.html
Sorry everyone! I had to re-upload because of audio problems! Anyway, what do you think of these cultural issues? Do you think they will stop you from living in Japan? Let me know!!
Hey Mrs Eats how are you? I love your channel
驚くことではありません。これはすべて、ロシアとドイツにも存在します。私は個人的な経験からこれを知っています。誰もあなたの背中に唾を吐きません。しかし、彼らはすべての問題を解決することはできません。さらに、それにもかかわらずあなたの状況を悪化させます。彼らはあなたに塩味のスープを与え、彼らは向かいに座って甘いケーキを食べるでしょう。すみません。
🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵
I want to move to Japan but before I intend to learn Japanese and the history of Japan and the culture so I know I'm a strict believer in the when in Rome idea if I intend to live in the country if I intend to work, eat in restaurants and live beside the people then I should adjust my lifestyle
I'm definitely just going to visit and enjoy the cultural and natural sights. The immaterial aspects of the country are almost completely opposed to how I like to live my life (direct, honest communication, pushing to improve things rather than bowing to tradition and conservatism).
When I lived in Japan honne and tatemae really started to weigh heavily on me. I've read a couple of peoples comments and I agree that every country has something like this to a degree. However, in Japan, it's taken to the extreme. Someone could say they like your shirt and mean the exact opposite. Tatemae is also quite literally 95%+ of what you'll hear most of the time. While it does create harmony it also makes everyone the same and it felt like I couldn't get to know anyone. For both me and my partner, we came to the conclusion that it's better to visit Japan than to live there.
Man that sounds absolutely terrible, i can never survive through this double face culture its depressing
This honne tatemae thing doesn't apply to close friends , so if you do make close japanese friends , you won't need to worry about this . Honne tatemae only applies to people whom you have met recently or people who aren't very close to you . People close to you will straight up say that they find the shirt boring or they don't like the shirt lol .
I don’t think they will bother to lie about your outfit. They may say it’s interesting.
Well, learn to read the room.
We call that sarcasm in the USA. My favorite way to insult people to their face while being polite on the surface.
But I prefer the person to say they like my shirt even if it’s not true rather than being direct and mean or rude sounding.. I don’t mind it at all and I also participate in Tatemae because I want to make harmony and not offend or insult anyone so it’s better just to say nice things even if you don’t entirely like something
The "honne and tatemae" thing is especially difficult to people with Autism. We already struggle reading bodylanguage and reading between the lines.
Having a public face and private face could sometimes be taken as masking though?? And speaking indirectly isn’t impossible to understand since I do it myself sometimes. I’m Japanese and autistic. A lot of the time I want to play video games and be left alone but I’m not going to say it out loud every week. Also while I may be chill and somewhat friendly with most people, I wouldn’t consider everyone I interact with a friend, or specifically a close friend. I’ll respect most people from a distance, but will go ahead and go the extra mile for anyone I’m actually close to (mostly family or a lover). I’d cook a meal or put a hand on their shoulder when they need it. Also, if someone I don’t really know asks me if I’’m okay when I have, for example, kidney stones, I’m not going to tell them about it since it really isn’t their business and would rather discuss it with my doctor instead.
If anything it would make it easier lol
Having diagnosed autism in general is choosing the hard life in japan. Most people go as long as possible (from denial, shame, etc) to not get their kids diagnosed
Agreed. And people like me with Autism tend to tell things like it is.
Comment of the day!!
Besides learning the Japanese cultural aspects that people need to adhere to, the most important question is:
Did Mr. Eats get his snack that was promised? 🤔
A good question indeed.
We need closure
European employer: "So that everyone on the team can take their holiday, I need to employ 11 people."
Japanese employer: "They will guilt trip each other into not taking holiday, so only I need to employ 10 people. They will blame each other, not me."
The culture of not taking time off because it will put extra work on co workers is one of the greatest tricks of the economic masters. The owners of the business benefit when people don't take their holiday. They don't need to employ the right number of people to do the work. Classic exploitation mixed with some cultural Stockholm effect. People look at the phenomenon purely as a cultural thing and not through an economic lens.
yeah its pure exploitation fully fueled by "cultural" aspects
An employers ability to dink you over and try to get you to blame each other I think is universal in most countries. Just how they do it seems to vary.
@@dantheman8103 - actually it is far worse in Japan. Look at the average hours someone works a year compared to Europe and how low their productivity is.
I work for a multinational company and I can often see my Japanese colleagues working at about midnight, whereas we all start clocking off from about 6pm, or earlier.
The fact that all businesses need to extract more value from their employees than they pay them does not make the way it is done universal.
Lucky me, I am the only delivery driver in my state for the company for which I work, so vacation isn't an issue (or if it is, they might be too cheap to fire me.)
@@thedragonofthewest5789 - outsiders often point to this as quite a positive aspect of Japanese culture, because people are meant to be so caring about each other. It's naive - no one wants to get the finger pointed at them for not pulling their weight. And no one ever asks the economic question "Cui bono?".
Americans like to know "why" something is done a certain way. Answers like "It's just that way" make it hard to understand. We don't necessarily judge by asking why, but it helps us understand when something is more appropriate than other situations. However locals can not always understand why something is part of their culture making it difficult to explain to foreigners.
I have this problem with my wife and her family and learning Mexican culture.
Yet they can NEVER tell you "why" things are done in America like the way they are.
WHY do they wear filthy shoes indoors?
WHY does everyone need to walk around with a mug or Starbucks cup of watered down coffee every morning?
WHY are the servers so annoyingly fake at a restaurant?
@@Jumpoable not all Americans wear shoes indoors, and the people who do so usually have a specific reason: some people find it more comfortable or see it as dirty to walk around with bare feet, even inside their own homes. Americans like coffee because they need to wake up for work, and they like Starbucks because it tastes good to them, although it doesn’t to you. Workers seem fake because that’s how customer service is in America, they are trying to be as courteous to you as possible, plus most of a waitstaff paycheck is derived from what the customer decides to give them. This also depends on where you’re drawing examples from.
There never is a clear answer as to why something is done here in Japan. They give you a "it's how it is" type of answer
@@Roman-pv7ng
Perfect Roman. 😎👍
@@Roman-pv7ng Damn if the paycheck is deruved from what the customer decides then it's a pretty fucked up system.
Some of this rang so true in my experience. I was a naval reservist who spent my annual training in Japan. The shipyard was operated by the US Navy and worked mostly, but not totally, on US ships. The workers in the shops were all Japanese (with a few small exceptions for very specialized jobs). I was extremely impressed how well Japanese teams worked together, more effectively than Americans. This might sound like a good thing, but it sometimes it backfired. For instance, there were some smaller jobs where one worker in a US shipyard would have just walked in and completed the job in the time the Japanese team was organizing. I also ran into a couple of instances where the shop supervisor was totally wrong in how the job should be done -- and nobody dared contradict him. They would have very efficiently done as told, even though the result would be wrong. In those cases, I had to step in and simply state that was not how things would be done. This was considered acceptable since I was representing the Navy and was considered to be the "customer". The funny thing was that some of the engineers later told me that they liked having Americans in the planning meetings because we had no problem with questioning authority. They believed that teams made up of American and Japanese workers was better than either one alone because their strengths complemented each other.
Not shocked by hearing this at all.
Sasebo?
@@JawsFan27 Yokosuka
I was always jealous that the tower apartments at Yokosuka were always so much nicer than the ones at Yokota AB.
Yokosuka?
Great video! As for the point about expectations on women in society here, this is one area where I’ve really noticed change in the 20 years I’ve been here. For example, the ‘female staff serve tea to visitors’ idea was very much alive back when I first started working on public schools. About 10 years back it suddenly shifted though, and now the official policy is ‘the nearest staff member to the tea station does it’. Just a small thing, but I thing it’s an example of how cultural change is happening.
Could it be that the most junior person is often placed in that part of the office?
@@subzerohf Not necessarily…but you raise a good point. If an older teacher is the nearest one when the ‘tea call’ goes out, he/she will usually say, “I’m busy. Can you do it?” to the nearest young teacher. THIS cultural norm hasn’t changed much, come to think of it.
Ironically, in the West, being the tea server was a position of authority and honor. The hostess served tea directly no matter how high ranked she was, so she was the queen of the tea table. Getting coffee is a flunky's job in offices though.
I too saw this when I first moved here 17+ years ago, I was in an Investment Bank at the time that was quite domestic for being a foreign company. A few years later, I moved to my previous company and have not seen much of that if at all since. I am sure there are more old school traditional environments that follow such practices, but am quite sure it is becoming less and less the norm.
As a Japan-born Japanese, I agree with you for so many parts you mentioned. What exhausts me the most in Japan is that so many people build human relationship only in a vertical form. meaning that if you regard someone higher position, you go with tons of politeness. sometimes too much. But if you regard someone lower, you would act as rude as you want to be.
And, young/female/non-national (in such case, especially non-white) / disabled / non-heterosexual people are the ones who are considered ‘low’. customers are ‘high’. This is why you feel amazing as a visitor. If you decided to be a part of the society and get a job, things are completely different.
This applies even between students or between couples. seniors are superior, males are superior. (look at the politicians - all are rich, second or third generation, older, male who’s running the government)
In Japan, all kinds of discrimination is built in into the the society, or even small communication. And people are so adjusting themselves to this custom, that many of them become violent (verbally, on the Internet) towards ‘lower’ class citizens who opposes to the custom and making a change.
Japan won’t change. It’s getting even backwards. I think this opinion of mine will be attacked as well.
Thank you so much for this. I'm a black African female and I've been considering moving to Japan for school. This made me realise I have more things to think about
In Japan, Bushido Culture is hard to reconcile with modern culture from what I’ve heard. The old social order actually breaks many people and leaves the society less strong as opposed to more strong. Hikikomori are a tragic extreme example of this as are Kodokushi who become the extreme outcome of the Hikikomori lifestyle. The rise of ‘herbivore men’ among the youth seems to be a rebellion against Bushido. A similar thing is happening in the United States now with ‘The Great Resignation’ where younger people, feeling disenfranchised, are refusing to work ‘normal’ jobs since there seems to be no profit in it.
@@mistreme8341 I’m not sure. Bushido - samurais were only a few percent of population anyway. It has never been shared among all people in the history, as 90% of us were peasants who had rather been oppressed by samurais. It was the military that brought convenient parts of the bushido into the society as if it has been the soul of every Japanese, which I think is utterly manipulative.
Japan is like a gigantic abusive family. young people in Japan nowadays are so obedient and many of them don’t have hope for the society or they cannot believe they are worthy. and government is happy about that , they want to keep it this way because then they can do whatever they want and still people don’t get angry (because people are convinced that nobody will help).
By the way ‘herbivorous men’ is just a term that some magazines or TV show started using jokingly for those who are not so keen in leading his romantic relationship or being in a romantic relationship in general, so I don’t think this term should be taken seriously when we discuss social issues.
@@ayumis5452
You seem to be fluent in english which is rare for native japanese.
I live in Japan also. And I want to add another culture aspect to deal with it is that hierarchy. NO mather how much knowldge you have , or language or something what matter is your age. Unfortunaly they only care about your age not knowldge base. Your senpai always who knows better. Especcially who is working in Japan will have a hard time about this.
😂😂i totally agree with you.
Pointing something out that is wrong would be disrespectful towards your senpai
thats asian culture in a nutshell.
How did japan advance so much with this kind of culture?
@@xXIronSwanXx So how can you fix a problem then?
As someone who has worked in Japan for almost 6 years, I can relate to the things mentioned here. In fact, I'm still struggling coming out of person I have become while being there now that I am in another country. But my time in Japan is something I will never exchange for any other experiences. Japan is a complex yet beautiful country and culture.
That whole Honne/Tatemae thing sounds like an absolute nightmare to navigate for people on the autistic spectrum 😅
The gender dynamics is spot on. I'm glad you're bringing it up. When I have some american friends ask me why I don't just find a job in Japan, it's because I don't think I could handle the dynamics of it, especially since I work in a male-dominated field. Of course, that's not the rule, but it's something I know my personality cannot handle. I love Japan, but I don't think I could work there.
Yeah even once I’m fluent in Japanese I’m not moving to Japan until I know I’m going to be in a good work environment as a female programmer (Sony is my dream company but that news the other day…😒)
@@majibento How exactly do you define a good work environment for female developers?
It’s possible to work remotely for foreign companies while still you live in Japan. You just need some incomes to enjoy your life in places of your choice. Not necessarily need to live in Japan.
@@yutaka618 Completely true! I have a good number of friends who do that. However, with my sort of technical skills (civil/utilities engineering) I cannot work remote for the most part (mostly legal reasons tbh). But you're completely right. If you can remote work, then it's fine, but I think the video implies working at a company in Japan moreso than remote work.
@@cityintake a place that doesn’t reek of brogrammer culture, and where I’m not the only woman. I’ve read too many horror stories… luckily my current employer isn’t like that
I feel like the show Aggretsuko shows a LOT of the Japanese work culture and just culture in general you all are talking about, its really good!
haha the one where she sings in metal solo karaoke bars to vent? we used to watch that with my colleagues over in thailand.
As a Brit, I never got confused by honne tatemae. It is actually one of the cultural similarities between Britain and Japan.
Oh! That's interesting! As mexican I'm curious about that, how is it similar if you don't mind me asking
@@TsugMt - I replied to this but foolishly put a link in, which meant my post got deleted! There is a funny meme floating around titled, "what British people say and what they mean" which you can find on Google images.
It is the practice of understatement and sometimes saying the exact opposite of what you are really intending to say, but still making your meaning clear to the recipient. It is a less direct and more subtle way of speaking.
We’ve have same amount of history and lifestyles as japan.
@@Andre-rp4pn - you could say that for a load of countries!
Following my other comment, there is a similar meme about what Japanese say and what they mean. T
"This is very interesting" = "This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard"
Yep - I can relate to that in the UK too.
@@capitalb5889 sarcasm out the arse everyday
I believe that every country has its own pros and cons. This video is so informative and direct to the point. ❤️
I've been to Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Okinawa. If you respect people and are polite, but most important of all don't throw the "I'm an American, I can do what I want" attitude- you should do fine. I visited these countries numerous times as a Marine. I never had any super negative experiences, a few misunderstandings. But I was always polite. That's appreciated, anywhere you go.
Try to learn about other cultures, it helps. But, if you're super sensitive about the differences, well, just stay home.
exactly. No one is perfect. So there are positives and negatives to everything in life
I love the stoicism of the Japanese people. I remember seeing drivers, with absolutely relaxed body and facial expressions, waiting at a light and watching the pedestrians cross. It was also 4 days in Tokyo before I heard someone honk their horn, and that was only once. Wherever I went people dressed well. The streets were so clean, as were the trains. People were so gracious to me the entire time. What a wonderful country. I hope to live there one day.
In the UK, hospitality sector can be like this,overly friendly but it's not often fully genuine, or co-workers might be like this. Other side of this would be when you work at a shop or a cafe you migh be smiling so much that later you keep smiling constantly even on way home. When I was a barista I used to catch myself still smiling to strangers on a bus automatically, my face hurt. Our bosses would scold us if we stopped smiling in a few places I worked at,even when there were no customers and we just wanted a break for our facial muscles. So this is a problem to some degree in many places. But the nature of it is different everywhere. Then again,when I'm in countries that don't put in that overly friendly face in customer service, and openly show if they are tired etc, I don't like that either. 🙈 I guess all of this is okay as long and it's not overdone.
The rules of etiquette between Japan and England are remarkably similar. I wonder if that has to do with the smooth operation of robust populations on Island States.
@@mistreme8341 Interesting, I don't know enough about Japan to compare the two fully. Would you care to give some examples? I'm wondering whether Japan really is more "official" and higher on the "different faces to family and co-workers/customers" scale or are the two countries really more similar in this regard. Sorry if my sentence structure sounds a bit off, I'm a bit sleepy 😅
I'd rather have a tired face rather than a fake smiling one on a worker
Actually a lot of Japanese people have changed from that cultural aspect, it still exists, but there are Japanese people who have changed from it all, like honme and tatamae, it's like it doesn't apply in Kansai or Osaka, many people there don't close, they are frank, expressing themselves, this is the experience of some of my friends who saw it. And I think there are also many Japanese people who take vacations, depending on the situation, especially young people, I don't think you should judge them like "work for a lifetime", as evidenced by the fact that they also go to the beach to relax.
Some may well take vacations, but how many will always have a two-week summer vacation as you would in Europe.
not all Kansai, Kyoto people use a lot of tatemae.
I live in California and visited Japan for 10 days in the 90's. While I loved Tokyo and the experience and would love to visit again, the work/life balance was enough for me to know I would be unhappy living there.
I definitely want to visit at some point, especially Northern Japan because there's some very beautiful nature up there. But I definitely agree that I couldn't live there because of the work culture.
I'm just going to point out that the average hours worked for salaried employees is actually higher in the US than in Japan, not including overtime. That is, US employees are REQUIRED to work longer hours than Japanese employees are REQUIRED to work. I can't find good data on overtime, but even if we assume that Japanese workers work 2 extra hours per day, they still fall short of America's total (depends on the year and source, not concrete). America's work culture isn't exactly cupcakes. There's a reason rush hour usually lasts 2 hours.
In India everyone always agrees to everything when they don't mean it, that was quite a culture shock to learn that and try to read between the lines all the time 😅. Sounds similar with Japan. The group focus is instead a family focus more though.
If u live in cities , I think everyone is more frank than those who r in towns and villages . But yeah, people do agree to ur face to kinda maintain their “dignity” (especially in case of women who are quick to be criticised about their opinions) , and mostly bitch abt people at their backs (which I have seen , heard and unfortunately been part of a lot). It is more of a social standing and image which is important in India than u know , ur convenience (or sometimes even ur happiness) . All in all , Indians are different culturally in almost every state , so u find a variety of the good and the bad all around. Hope u have or had a good time in India 🤗
@@Aparajitha... thanks, yes, it is a wider issue. My husband is Indian and it took me a while to get used to the automatic saying 'yes' to plans or thinking that 'sounds good', means yes. But he also isn't doing it as much now :p In India I did unfortunately feel quite an outsider whilst living there but also found people to be very kind. I'm a very direct person though so I'd struggle adjusting in Japan just as I did in India. I did love the food and small original businesses in India, like very unique cafes and restaurants and colorful clothes. You are right that the place I lived in might have been more traditional, although not a town, than if I lived in a different city. Regards,
I would say it does not matter if u live in city or town , it mostly depends upon who u are with
@@bhavyamodi3549 True. That plays a big part too, and what is going on in life at the time. Regards,
You have no ideas how different japan is..
One of my friends here in Japan is Arab and he experienced the Honne Tatemae / passive aggressive type of communication at work with his manager but when he brought it to her attention that he couldn’t understand what she wanted;she started to make an effort to be more direct with him and now says what she means. I’ve experienced certain passive aggressiveness in Japan like “Gaijin ghost seating” but honestly if I’m ever in a place where I need help and I ask for help the people are always more than willing to help me even if we have to use google translate.I understand that I am not in my own culture so I must adapt to my environment and I don’t take things personally. I must say that these videos have helped me better understand and navigate the culture here. Thank you for your content! Great information, especially for those travelers who are soon to visit once the borders open back up!
I was stationed in Northern Japan 2001-2004, we had to take a 1.5 hour culture class which helped immensely. I think your videos could help a lot people who live abroad to think before moving . No one should ever move to another country and not expect a learning curve.
Misawa?
Its good and bad. As a foreigner, you will never be accepted into Japanese society, but no one will expect you to follow traditions and rules you and you can always ask for help and get away with so many things with the foreigner card.
Dont expect to ever integrate into the culture, but just enjoy your position as a foreigner learning about things and having fun.
You should also never put pressure on yourself to fit in. Society is just a bunch of people, and you're a person to, so your ways of life are just as valid as theirs.
The more i get to know Japan, feels same as in my country! So no issue for me. I guess!
If smoking cigarettes and drinking beer gets the whole team suspended for a month they would have executed my high school American football team 75% of that team was on adderall on game days and we also had a small section that did bumps of coke in the locker room and on the bus rides to away games. After I graduated there was even a investigation for steroid usage.
It'd probably be running extra suicides in the USA
I like the balance between positive and critical aspects about Japan, because all countries have upsides and downsides.
Concerning 本音 (Honne) and 建前 (Tatemae) I have to mention that younger Japanese people are less making Honne and Tatemae.
Depends I guess.
"Reasons you'll hate living in Japan"
Internet Mods: *Press X to doubt*
本当この動画を作ってくれたありがとうございます、私にとって日本で暮らしては夢な事でもこの動画から色々んな事はよくもらえました。自分の国でもそう言うの違う優しさはちょっと国の人達にとって変に思われたでもこの動画見たから自信はまたありました、二人ともいつも元気になりますよ。
A sequel to the critically acclaimed first video. Also thank you for the tip on Kancho stocks
As a person who doesn’t feel like he is from any country I just go with the flow. If I do a favor I expect nothing in return. Someone compliments me I’ll just say an expressionless Thank you. I’ve lived alone for so long, seems like Japan would be an ideal fit. People just tend to leave me alone. The things that most attracts me of Japan is if I were mugged, I wouldn’t get killed, the train/bus is so great(would not have to worry about car trouble), people are helpful and not friendly but polite. Keeps us all in our personal space. Cost of living is sooooo cheap. My only problem is the perception bias, but that’s ok. I can live with that.
Concise, well-articulated and informative video! Nice to see Mr. Eats presenting part of the video. He has a very soft and considerate manner that pairs well with the sensitivities of communicating cross cultural information.
Yeah, had trouble with the honne and tattame. Was going based on people's actions and not words at times, so maybe misunderstood many times if someone was just being polite or if they were interested. Also have experienced where people were nice to my face, then would overhear them talking to their friends saying I'm weird for liking anime, or something. So...kind of made me not want to really talk to many Japanese people honestly. No offense to Japanse people and the culture, but was kind of disheartening not knowing if I was wasting my time or not with a friendship, or crush.
I love the positive energy you two are giving, I could watch you two doing nothing and I would still enjoy it
OKURIBITO It’s a great movie everyone should watch it! English title.: “DEPARTURES”! Interesting look into Japanese view and treatment of death! Very touching movie I wonder if Mr. eats has seen it!? Or Mrs. eats!!
Japanese cinema is great Talk about that!
There is a YT channel called The "Black Experience in Japan" that talks about black expats living in Japan. Most of them love living there in contrast to living in the US. So, I think ethnic groups will differ in how people view Japan. In general, living somewhere where we feel safer, are treated more fairly (and sometimes seen as exotic), will always beat living in America.
This is true as in Japan every one is a foreigner
I cant imagine how hard it was for my japanese teachers to accept peoples behavior when they came to Bosnia 😅😂 i bet they were shocked beyond comprehension 😬
And in Croatia, people are fully shocked when they visit Balkam countries 🤣
I learned basic Japanese and culture for a year in uni and then spent a year in Southern Japan in a small, inland, agricultural town. While i thought the experience was life changing, at times shocking, after a year I knew Japan was not the place for me. Learning about culture and living the culture are completely different. The biggest tip if you wish to live in a foreign country is to find a Ms. Eats. She will help you a lot.
1. Being two-faced. It's literally a phenomenon worldwide. Practically everyone does it.
2. Being passive aggressive, that's toxic but it just means that Japanese men speak like American women. Not a big deal.
3. You are a foreigner, you will never be part of the group anyways, why would you care if your vacation affects your coworkers? Work is work. Don't try to be friends with your coworkers regardless of the country. Oh no, your coworkers whom you most likely don't even want to see outside of work might be dissatisfied that you took your days off. You shouldn't care about this at all unless you are mentally ill or raised in a place where this is the norm.
4. Japan's societal pressure towards having children obviously isn't strong enough, the birthrate is 0.9. Nowhere near enough people settling down and having kids. Sexual harassment is bad, but if you are a man you won't personally suffer from it (much, gay men in Asia can be rather....aggressive) and you can take advantage of being a "brash" foreigner to call attention to it if you see it. As a foreign woman feel free to straight up bitch slap a man. They won't arrest you for it but they will arrest the man.
5. Other people's choice of when to retire will have literally zero impact on your own life. Even if you find a Japanese husband or wife the odds are that they are very interested in foreign cultures already.
I'm sorry to say guys, but the average foreigner living in Japan wouldn't even notice these things. They go to work, teach their English class, then bum around with the tens of thousands of other foreigners in Japan and the circle of Japanese people that prefer the company of foreigners. The only way you would suffer from any of this is if you were perversely interested in trying to actually live exactly like a very traditional Japanese person. Some things like being two faced aren't even Japan specific. Just because you have a name for it doesn't make it a special Japanese social construct.
I'm American living in America and one of my biggest frustrations with the people around me is that they are not direct enough.
I'm not a mind reader - if you want something, fucking ask me for it and then be okay with a no, just in case.
That's what I expect from and for everyone. How else are we supposed to get things done?
In America we have a very similar saying to "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." that essentially means the exact opposite. We say "The squeaky wheel get the grease". Basically meaning how are you suppose to get what you want if you are not vocal about it.
This was very helpful! I think the hardest thing for me will be the direct thing as I'm not very good with social cues and all that! I guess it be something to learn when I finally move there!
There are three ways to say things in Japanese, polite, familiar and vulgar, understanding this helps tremendously with understanding the context of what is being said to you. This is why being mindful and thoughtful about what you say and do is critical to integration. Though all foreigners are given some leeway, which if you're smart you can use for your advantage.
Wait....why would you count Dragonball Evolution as a bad thing about Japan?
Japan didn't make that steaming pile. 'Murica did.
Don't take our mistakes away from us! They are all we have left =(
In Japan, parent take the blame for their child actions. We shouldn't have allow Hollywood to touch our Dragon Ball.
@akmelot shli you have chosen death
@akmelot shli say what?
@@MrsEats Nani ?? 😂😂😂
@akmelot shli hahah lol im just so glad youre *JUST KIDDING*
Not exactly the same but in Brazil we have something like honne x tatemae
@default i think it depends of the person too, im brazilian and i have a lot brazilian friends who doesn't want to speak their minds bc they're too afraid of being judged
In America it’s called two faced backstabbers and we’ve got plenty of them. At work and in our families.
I know I couldn't live in a country where every social interaction requires a diploma in international diplomacy 🙄
This.
For me the problem would not be anger it would be conforming adjusting is fine but to conform and cast aside the you to fit in is something i personally cant tolerate
I'm so amused that there's a polite word for the two-faced stuff in Japan. That, to a certain extent, is VERY Acadian (French-Canadian) too. My mother's family is Acadian-American and EXTREMELY non-confrontational so there can be A LOT of avoidance, backstabbing, and speaking in ways you described being normal in Japan. It's so frustrating!
What part of America are they from? I'm betting not the Northeast.
@@1983jcheat No way. New Englanders are much more blunt and direct. You’d find that two faced behavior on the west coast.
Hiiii also the apologizing in Japanese made me laugh really hard
Mr. Eats did all this for a bag of chips...
The before and after picture sold me. I'm going to Japan.
"the goal of deception isnt to deceive someone"
sounds like deception with extra steps and double-speak.
"its not that i dont want to go, i just cant ..."
(tell you that i dont want to go, because that would require HONESTY and DIRECTNESS, instead i will lie to your face with a fake smile and pretend i like you, but im being polite, i swear!)
"jpn only take half their vacation because its a burden on their coworkers"
this is a failure of management and budgeting. they should be scheduling the right amount of staff and hiring enough people.
using guilt on an employee for taking their vacation is DISGUSTING.
its very similar to "tipping" culture, where the customer is supposed to "choose" to just "pay more" for their food with the intent that extra money goes to the waitstaff.
here too it is a failure of management to just pay their waitstaff well in the first place.
additionally, it shifts the burden to the customer to make up the wages for the greedy business owner, and pits the waitstaff against the customer if they "choose" not to just pay extra for no benefit.
another thing is how grocery stores and markets want you to donate extra money on top of your purchase to charities on holidays 🤔 instead of just donating a portion of the profits they are already making, as if to put the burden of charity on the customer so that the business doesn’t actually lose any money.
generally yeah the US is more direct even at work but we do have a "customer service" personality and voice. of course there are still people that are indirect and passive even in their private lives.
as an autistic person the idea that this sort of passiveness is cultural makes me really mad, I would hate it there. god I have no idea how autistic japanese people would survive, especially considering that their understanding and care of mental health and it's services is somehow way behind the US (according to a japanese therapist in a small documentary I watched on mental health in japan)
Yes, as a person with autism myself, I could attest, Japan isn't that autism-friendly.
Regarding woman staying home to have families. As recently as the 1990s 70% of women agreed with this. But the UN wasn't having it. The UN demanded that Japan alter its culture to become more like the west and Japan was bullied into creating a government department to propagandize to women, telling them not to have families but to go out and work instead.
The birthrate has now collapsed and the UN is demanding that Japan alter its culture further by beginning mass migration to replace Japanese people, restock the workers and boost the worth of investments held by UN affiliated oligarchs.
The UN cannot be wiped out soon enough.
I heard that some Japanese companies will hire foreigners to be more direct with their boss
I’m not sure how true that is if it is at all
Well, if they only want one to be direct, they can hire me. I can be so direkt you will make notes for further references.
Honne and tatemae looks like that scary movie Smile.
I see honne tatemae similar to looking at the Moon…you can only see one side of its face.
I feel like honne and tatetmae definitely exist in the US. You say "I'm fine" even if you are not. If someone asks if their outfit is nice, but you think it isn't you might say "Oh, the color is nice". Anyone who works in customer service is a master at it. There is also a very funny meme here in the US where people prank their older relatives with a fake video chat where a friend shows off their extremely strange looking baby. If the relative catches on that it's a "video call" they often do some pretty amazing gymnastics to avoid accidentally saying something that might insult the friend and "her baby" when asked how cute said baby is
I definitively agree, so many westerners say they don't like Japan because of tatemae and honne despite practicioning it themselves. we already have terms for it and similar concepts in english like "lying through your teeth", "fake it till you make it", and several others. Even the aspect of culture shock Mrs. Eats talked about in the last video is more of a universal thing when moving to a new country rather than a strictly Japanese expat thing.
As a Dutch person, it's crazy to me how you can call Americans direct. Americans beat around the bush so much, definitely not direct and for sure not as direct as the Dutch. imagine the culture shock between The Netherlands and Japan, lol
Mrs. Eats is the best thing about japan!
Demon hunter merch in the background
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.
Come live in the southern US where honne tatemae is alive and thriving. I had an Australian friend who lived in Japan for some years then moved here to the South and he said the culture was very similar.
Yep, a stranger who needed help will be ten steps around the corner after being greeted pleasantly and told what he needed to know and then one guy will go "Hey, Jimbob, did you get a load of that thar dumbass?" There will be hoots and hollering.
Southern Hospitality is similar in a way now that I think about it....
That would explain why when I was down South no one spoke about anyone directly and Yes, No answers didn't mean much. Lotta talking behind peoples backs. More than I've ever seen in my life. Totally different than up North.
Visiting other countries and researching other cultures just shows that everyone is a blank slate at birth that is me tally and emotionally shaped by the people around them. We all lose our true nature right after birth. We are named and scolded and pressured until we are a living thought program. Free your mind and heart through meditation and self awareness
No.
the part about being late for work, I would have never thought the co worker was telling me off. I think I'll do well in Japan :D
About the honne/tatemae thing, I find it pretty much like Catholic morality, you gotta act according to the values in public, have to lend a hand to those in need, feel pitty, no thief; ought to blame ourselves for everything: sexual desire, not wanting to have children, falling in love with same sex person, also, this one disgusts me the most belief over science, wellness lays on family and respect for hierarchy, but behind the locked door all the disgusting and horrible stuff you're holding back 💥 cannot be held any longer. It's double moral, basically. I hate it, and when the State appeals this morality culture the result is chaos.
Well, in Japan there's no such a thing as chaos, I guess, but that public mask we have to put on, feels kinda similar to me
I work in retail. Hone Tatemae is literally how I make a living. I'm ready, Japan.
On the note of taking a week vacation. Is it not possible to work ahead to alleviate some of the burden? I work in a role in which if I miss work then my coworker has to cover, but I can do things ahead of time (verifying schedules, taking care of any major deadlines, advising the one who is covering what special handling needs to be done, etc) ahead of time to lessen any work they make have to cover.
You're doing a great job convincing us not to come to Japan, great job 👍
The umbrella part was so sweet 😭❤️
Other countries: we want to retire early.
Many Asia countries: we shall push back our retirement age for another 10 years so we can save more money to enjoy later.
😅😅😅
Ok. Audio and everything is ok! すばらしい!!! 😀👏👍ありがとうございました!
Thank you so much for coming back!! It's strange audio problem we never had before! But we hope you can enjoy the video now!
@@MrsEats Hahaha. I really love your channel since your reaction to Rainych and uncle Roger videos. I will always come back. You brought one of the most important point. Honne and Tatemae. That's one of the biggest issues most foreigners are dealing with including my fellow Malaysian friends. I'm a Malaysian dude, I've never been to Japan. Like I said in the previous comment section, I'm going to Japan for only one... mission... ... To find a Japanese wife. 😊 I'm currently learning Japanese just for that! Nice and good informative video Mrs Eat. Well done! 👏
Look behind Mr Eats as he explains honne and tatemae - it looks like a horn on one side and a Micky mouse ear on the other behind him. Nice touch!!
Here in the Deep South of the US, we also have a version of honne tatemae. It's called good manners. We also have a way of being very polite while really meaning we think you're a jackass. "Bless your heart " can be as much of an insult as it is an expression of sympathy. Though only a southerner can hear the very subtle difference in how and when it's said.
0:32 That would be the best apology I will ever accept!!! If they can do that, they deserve my forgiveness!
To me the most challenging task would be keeping the smile on my face for longer than 10 seconds because I'm a grumpy menacing looking guy but I'm an adorable snuggle bunny inside 😊
Maybe this was discussed in a previous video and I just missed it, but I'd be curious to learn more about the LGBT situation in Japan before visiting someday. I'm guessing that as long as you keep public displays of affection to a minimum in a bigger city, you'd be completely safe, but I think it's worth asking nonetheless.
With that said, I enjoyed the last two videos a lot, it's good to tamper your expectations! Some people base their whole view of the country based on quirky anime and games and don't consider the actual cultural aspects of the country.
+
The channel Tokyo BTM has a video for this. Might be worth checking it out
@@kinpagimpa I'll check it out! Thanks for the reference! 😀
Wonderful and illuminating video. Thank you!
I think every country and culture in the World can be criticized for something, realistically some more than others. Japanese culture is rich and full of life. The culture does have its flaws, of course, just like my Western country culture, but they are not unredeemable. Can Japanese keep what's best about their culture and make progress about what's not so great? Yes, I believe so. To me, one of the important thing is: Can the country/culture evolve and stay relevant for the next generation? I believe that's going to be the defining factor in the future.
Mrs Eats, you are a great spokesperson. You enjoy many treats and drinks but you keep a girlish figure all the same. You both are really articulate when it comes to discussing culture and the experience of the differences, nicelty done, you pair "Mr and Mrs Eats" :)
I’m very introvert and can detect whether that person is using indirect language or direct language.
One thing I would get confrontation is when that person clearly got caught for lying to me in indirect language. I’ll be pissed. Instead of admitting, they’ll try to beat every bush around them to escape the reality, I got their lies. This will be make me angry and conclude “ you’re just toying with my emotions, my time and my effort.”
It sounds like you're reflecting on an experience or observation related to corporate culture, particularly in the context of Japanese culture and possibly drawing parallels with American corporate culture. You're right that many traits often associated with Japanese work culture-like hierarchy, long working hours, or a strong emphasis on loyalty to the company-can also be found in corporate America.
Corporate cultures can share similarities across countries, especially when it comes to the pressures of performance, efficiency, and organizational loyalty. Was there something specific that triggered this thought for you? It seems like you're thinking deeply about these parallels.
Honne and Tatemai is kinda tough to deal with with my friends sometimes, but I feel like I'm getting good at knowing which is which when talking to them. At least I've had practice before even moving.
You two are a hoot! way back, our neice our neice did a english language gig in Japan. She really didn't prepare herself and as a result she was misserable. Frankly, I'd love to visit.
Hi Mrs. Eats nice video! See you on the next Tabieats livestream :)
I love your channel 🥰❤ not only informative but you and Mr Eats are hilarious!! 😂😂😂 Also I want to know what pearl cream you use??? Your skin is gorgeous!
the point is not to give a shit, they push , you laugh. Do whatever you want. They only react when they see you care.
No second part needed, you convinced me in part one.
Sure. Try working somewhere in Japan where you're not getting your ass kissed for being a foreigner. You'll see how direct Japanese people can and will be with you, and how they'll use that old tatemae/honne trope to screw you over if they decide they don't like you. Sometimes being different means you'll be ostracized and discriminated against in a bad way, no matter how hard you work and how much of the culture you know how to follow.
Correct, I'm a hapa and grew up in Japan until 14yrs old. My depression was pretty bad the last couple years. Glad we moved to US. I would not have made it in Japan,.
Honne Tatemae culture is very strong in Indonesia too, esp in traditional Javanese society where being friendly and well mannered in public to avoid direct conflict is a must, to the point of being fake.
Useless nonsense chit chat with strangers or people you are not interested to, so they will perceive you as being "bubbly and friendly"
The consequence of such action is non stop gossiping behind someone's back. It's honestly very exhausting.
My Boss used to do that tatemae indirect thing when I got in late (germany). Honestly thats more effective because of how emberassing it is when he tries to come up with solutions for you even though you are just a lazy pig and played too much overwatch last night.
I plan to move to Japan and live there and your videos are so helpful in preparing me
Thanks for videos like this!
Funny thing is for us Germans or Europeans in General Americans are consideret as superficial. For exempel they ask you often: "How are you?" But they don't really care if you are okay or not, it's just a common thing to say in the US and they don't expect you to answer it in every detail. A German person instead would tell you their whole story and if they recognize you to simulate your interest you have to deal with their directness and there is no difference between work and life. I think the Japanese are on a much higher level of being superficial, cause it's connected to the whole Honne and Tatamae behavior and they try everything to get out of any confrontations, which is the complete opposide of how Europeans would handle such situations.
I think all this directness from Europeans has a very simple background. We often lived, whether Germanic or Celtic, in villages and clan communities, where there were often council meetings, (Thing) where the oldest people came together and where the best argument and the best tongue counted. You simply had to address things directly.
We were also surrounded by deep forests where you didn't meet anyone for a long time and you didn't know when you'd meet again. and it only took a few steps to get to a place where they used a different dialect or language. So you had to be direct to make things clear without any misunderstandings.
Moreover there were no borders back in time, so we had exchange with many clans, tribes and cultures around us. I think being on a Island and cut off from the mainland and on a Island with a lot of natural disasters and wars between each other probably made people more sensitive to solidarity within the group. While wars also occur in Europe but you were free to go to an other country or made bounderies with other tribes, if they let you in or you earned their respect. We know about the migration of peoples or the invasion of the Germanic peoples into Rome and Britain.
The Individual had more opportunitys as on a small isolated Island.
I wouldn't say it's as superficial as you believe it to be. Maybe it comes off that way because such things are said as a greeting often. If I'm passing by someone on the street and we notice each other we might say,"How's it going?" followed by a short response and we keep going our own ways. If someone actually wants to address it and needs someone to talk to, more often than not someone is going to listen to you.
Then we also say stuff like that when we meet up with someone. It's an initial greeting, then as the conversation opens up more we listen. We aren't expecting people to stop and give a long story because that's not the purpose of the greeting. Still if you decided to spill the beans, most people would be willing to hear you out.
I love Japan!!!!!! Been there many times but I don’t fit in mentally there 😂 it sucks so I can manage for short period of times , but I couldn’t live there and be happy 😢
6:41 There's this perception worldwide that Japan is "ancient." Yes, compared to countries such as the USA. But to put things in perspective, during the time of Julius Caesar and the height of the Roman Empire, Japan was in the early Yayoi Period and just learning to make iron tools and farm rice.
Are you aware that Ancient Rome dissolved 1600 years ago?
@@Maatkara1000 And if you're familiar with European culture and especially Italian culture, there's a continuous line of cultural osmosis from Roman times to the Renaissance to modern times. The Europeans were quite aware (in fact, in awe) of the heritage of Rome and the educated studied Latin and Aeneid, Ovid and Greek philosophers for 1600 years after the Empire fell. Magnificent buildings have been built in the Roman and Greek styles up to the modern era. It's part of the cultural heritage of the West, as deep as the influence of Tang China on Japan. The Tang Dynasty is long gone too. Europeans didn't revert back to caveman days after the Empire fell. Especially not on the Italian peninsula. The central authority was gone but the civilization lingered.
I struggle with being direct and appearing aggressive too- I hate it, so I’m often kind and gentle hoping people get this it’s a gentle “no” but in the USA, I’m often seen as a doormat. The problem is though- I also wear my heart on my sleeve. I am open to all- which is unwise as well as unsafe even sometimes. I need to learn to wear a mask or at least close the door at times.
This is such an interesting video and many of the points are so spot-on, which is why I decided not to live in Japan. I reasoned that based on what I knew of Japan, of myself and what I had seen from friends who returned home completely changed (not for the better) after living in Japan, that living in Japan would be a mistake for me.
Your point about foreigners being given more leeway is an excellent one. Initially I tried to learn the language, understand the culture & behave in a way that I thought the Japanese would admire me for my efforts. However, I found that IF they thought I knew a lot about Japan & Japanese things, that their level of expectation for me was way above my understanding & my ability. Therefore I took a step back and simply became the Gaigin on holidays, and everything was much better.
Post Covid I will go to Japan to visit friends and participate in organised activities, tour around the country, and then return home after an enjoyable time away. I might well be seen as the dumb gaigin, but that's just a price I am happy to pay to retain my sanity. I am not interested in 'turning Japanese'. Some of my friends tried that and all the joy was sucked out of them.
Japan has an amazing culture, but you should come live in Brazil and watch Japanese stuff from here :) Check this: we don't even have words or expressions to mean "lose face", or "gain face".