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I’m one of the Colombian girls interviewed! Thank you Takashi for the interview 😊 Just to make one thing clear, with my ex we used both English and Japanese to communicate, so even though I think the language barrier could play a big role in not being able to communicate properly, in our case it was more about our cultural backgrounds and upbringing that were the issue. Hope it helps 😊
Most of the Japanese thinks that they're always right, and they want to change/fix you. You're right, they have to accept their partner's culture and values.
@@skatecdo7625 Isn't it normal to adapt to them if you are in their country ? Unless the Japanese is the one living in your country, you need to adapt to their culture if you live in their country, not because they think they are always right, it is because you need to respect the culture of a country you are in. It is common sense. I wonder why there are foreigners like you that tend to talk shit about the Japanese while you are the one being an asshole for not being able to adapt to them in their country.
Love Colombia! I have been studying Spanish for years. It's the most beautiful language in the world. I skyped for years with a Colombiana from Medellin which made me appreciate the Colombian culture. Viva Colombia! Viva Los Cafeteros!
Happened to me in Canada after 6 years being together. I wanted to marry her. She stopped replying to my texts, messages on Facebook and then eventually blocked me on everything but that's rare here. Every time I tell someone they're shocked. It's honestly taken me years to get over it. I haven't tried dating for almost 4 years now. I'm dying alone. 🙃
@@Censorship.Destroyed.Freedom Something similar happened to a friend of mine- she was with a guy for a few years and was literally moving into a house with the guy and he just disappeared for like 2 weeks= wouldn't answer his phone or anything. She was so worried then it turned out he had been cheating and ghosted her- I drove her to the house to pick her stuff up. It was bizarre as hell (we are American.)
She’s right about the touching you too early on. If they’re too touchy feely too quickly, they’re trying to see how far they can go because of whatever image they’ve concocted in their head about you. I’ve ended dates who have been disrespectful and assumed I would go home with them on the first date. I’m so glad I’m off the market.
@@Mia-es1rp knowing it's a cultural difference and the meaning isn't exactly the same must help a lot. A first date saying something like "I like you a lot" wouldn't be as much of a red flag
I've been married to a Japanese man for 32 years. An intercultural relationship can be so interesting and fun if you share the same values and some of the same interests or hobbies. I didn't know I'd be moving to Japan when I started dating my husband in Chicago. Back then Japan wasn't super popular like now, and there was no internet. But that was also part of the fun. Living in Kyoto now, I'm amazed to see how many tourists here because when my husband and I came here on our honeymoon back in 1992, it was not crowded at all. But I'm not surprised Japan has become so popular, even back in the 1990s I thought it's a wonderful country and culture, and I still think so.
Well done, I am a western guy married to a Japanese woman for 23 years, since we were both in our early 20s, some ups and downs in the early days but the last 10 years has been smooth sailing. We are proof a couple from different cultures can definitely work as long as you have the same morals & values, I agree with that. ☮
Yep, it can come down to having same values, interests and hobbies. That's part of the reason I was only with my ex Japanese boyfriend 3 years because we didn't have enough in common. 😌 so you are pretty spot on with that.
Nice. I'm a Korean-Canadian married to a Canadian woman for 35 years. She lived in Japan for a year and was fluent in Japanese, and I was minoring in Japanese history, and so we met at the uni. There are cultural hurdles regardless of how "westernized" the immigrant - 1st or 2nd gen - is bc we don't realize how deeply cultural values are imbedded through our formative years. I think at the end of the day respecting the other person's autonomy and the right to express their feelings is crucial in making compromises. The expressions of love do change over the long haul of marriage, and it's important to recognize the changes and still validate them as Love.
I’m surprised this didn’t mention how Japan is grappling with consent. The idea of “what is rape” is slowly being clarified, but areas like ‘is it okay if she’s passed out”, or “is saying no enough” are still not legally clear or enforced.
@@francookie9353Not only in Japan. When I was in uni in the early 2000s, most people thought it was ok. I did not. Thankfully it's being questioned now.
My mother is Japanese being a stupid teen I asked her, do you think Dad was involved with another woman overseas since he was away for a year? When I saw the pain in my mother's face I knew I could never do that to somebody else. Even though it might be acceptable by Japanese culture and some people have the same sort of attitudes Latino culture, It's about integrity and loving your spouse. If you love your spouse and you have integrity, you will not cheat or have sex with anybody else.
Pro tip from someone with a Japanese partner: be fluent in Japanese and talk about deeper topics (e.g. social and cultural norms, economic issues, religion, etc.) before you catch feelings.
i mean… that’s really universal advice. in dating cultures you don’t ask that stuff because the exploration in that other person is romanticized. but courting people should factor in a lot of those principles of identity. courting and dating are not the same thing
I can't imagine dating someone if there isn't a language we're both fluent in, and since Japan has the worst English language scores/results in the world (or so I've read,) it's better not to bank on the common language between a Japanese partner and yourself being English. Learning Japanese is good advice. Even better if both of you can speak each others' native languages, though, then you both have an easier time reaching mutual understanding.
I can’t help but wonder if this a double standard rooted in traditional sexism (“men will be men” “they can’t help themselves”) or if women would also be allowed to have casual sex with no consequences.
@ from what i understand if their partner doesn’t know then it doesn’t matter, i’ve also found that girls tend to “not care” if there’s no emotional connection (i think they’re just forced to forgive and forget), i totally agree it stems from “boys will be boys” for sure tho
I find that the Netflix’s show Love is Blind gives a pretty good comparison point. Start with Amercan version, watch couple of seasons to learn the patterns of the show and after that watch other nations in that order: Brazil, Japan, Sweden. You’ll get a really great overview of what one or another culture emphasis, how the society functions and what they are lacking in comparison. It’s super polarised and you can see where a lot of problems lay in all of the cultures.
Takashi try to interview older foreigners to see there perspective and also what does the older 40 plus Japanese women feel about relationships with foreigners. Great content as always
It's awesome to see foreigners living in other countries. This is how we learn about each other and see how similar everyone really is except for minor cultural differences.
12:40 That's not a cheating culture shock, that's just cheating and conditioning to accept cheating, specially because these same guys would NOT be accepting of the women cheating on them. This happens everywhere where women were conditioned to accept men that would disrespect and dehumanize them because they literally depended on them to exist and survive. Also, the reason why so many Japanese women prefer being single while the men refuse to evolve as human beings, apparently. Like in most places around the world, unfortunately.
I discussed this with my piano teacher. She is an older Japanese woman and said she could not accept how men treated her in Japan and early on decided to "not bother" in her words. She also said her parents would not have accepted a foreigner in those times (she grew up in the 70s and 80s). Kind of sad.
What a wonderful group of women you have found to interview. They are all so pretty and interesting. Being a bit older it shocking to me how everyone is using these dating apps. You are a fine interviewer and very interesting to watch . Thank you
why does it shock you? dating apps exist out of conviniency, this is why people use them. why go out and do the work when you instead can get your date with only a click of a button on top having options 100x larger than it wouldve bin normaly?
@ I once tried to create a dating app profile and felt like I was putting myself out there like a piece of meat and found the whole process to be degrading. I would think these beautiful women would attract men like bees to, honey but I guess I am wrong and I am shocked that they need to advertise 😬
@@Mr39knuck or maybe they are lying. consider it is universally men are picking women on dating based on proceeded beauty and avability. women pick men based on hight, profession and appearance. this is based on actual data analytics. majority of women mostly uses dating apps as a form of validation and yes for men particular it is rather degrading consider that 80% of the male population arent appealing for women in dating apps. than theres the fact that roughly 60-70% users of dating apps on the regular base are men.
I’m sorry but the one American chick her facial expressions looked like the topic of cheating hit real close to home and heart. I hope she finds her happiness and peace ❤
@DillonHathaway i guess if it's live videos that they can interact with the female.....porn is one thing....those other interacting videos are almost like virtual prostitution, because the voyeur pays currency for the female to do specific things for their viewing pleasure. I would have issue with the interacting viewing type. Just porn....that's nothing really to get on about. But the live streams....that is pushing.
The ones who talk about Western dating culture refer in reality to anglo-saxon dating culture. In France things work the opposite way: if you've been on a few dates it's assumed you're a couple unless you specifically clarified it's only casual. I was working for an international company in Paris and I heard many Americans, Brits and Australians complain about that. They thought it was weird how their French dates would consider them a couple after only a few dates without asking. This whole concept of "the talk" doesn't really exist here. I'm biased obviously, but I prefer that. I always thought it was silly to go on dates for weeks or months with someone and then being like "what are we?". It's making things more complicated than they need to be.
À chaque fois que les Anglo saxon parle de culture « Western » ils essayent de nous englober avec eux alors que c juste vrais pour leurs pays (Amérique, UK, Australie) c’est très frustrant. Ils sont très ignorant et après les autres pays pensent que nous somme comme eux 🤡
Je suis italienne et c’est la même chose qu’en Italie. On ne doit pas échanger des mots ou faire des annonces publiques pour déclarer d’être une couple ❤
In the Netherlands it’s also common to get to know each other first and then decide about making it ‘official’. Perhaps it has to do with ‘north-western’ culture.
A girlfriend or wife being okay with a prostitute is wild. Just a different culture and mindset I guess, but I can't imagine taking that as anything other than an insult to their sex life.
I suspect because porn/AV is so rampant there, the guys expect all sorts of weird stuff that women aren’t ok to do. So the women relent on ‘outsourcing’ it to the brothels… as long as their bf/husband fulfils the other responsibilities of the relationship.
I’m so glad to be a part of this and you never fail to amaze me with your content!!! I loved watching this video!!!! Hope to see you again soon Takashi🤗 all the best! - Kira (3:32, Australian/american/Burmese born in Tanzania) hehehe
19:30 Takashi's eyes look away to contemplate in shock - because he knows that men in Japan don't usually say "I love you" that fast, the idea that the "problem" is actually *you* being so lovable 🤣
I lived in Japan for 6 years and dating was awful there. I found most men were either too passive or they just wanted s e x. So many Japanese men cheat…the cheating culture really surprised me. Celebrities have no problem admitting that they had mistresses in the past on TV. And women are told that we should forgive them at least once. I moved to Korea and I found the men to be much more masculine and easier to date. I am happily married now. Many of the guys openly express their feelings which works much better for me as opposed to Japanese guys who are too embarrassed to be vulnerable. So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic.
So toxic? FU btch. You came to another country, another culture.. and you dare to dictate how the fkng people shiuld be there, what they should think, how they should act? What they should and shouldnt value? Your not a fkng center of the world. Stfu and gtfo
I found Japanese men to be either very shy or very direct. No in between. I had guys walk up to me on the street within a second of seeing me and saying "you are beautiful, do you want to get coffee?" But also guys sneaking around me for hours while running errands in the city before they very shyly asked me out. I was married for all the years living in Japan (still am) so always politely declined...
Hey Takashii! I always appreciate your content and how respectfully you interact with the people you interview. I was wondering if you’ve interviewed people who burned out or got injured from overwork in Japan. I’ve met quite a few people in Japan who went through it and so did I. I think it would be interesting to hear how people recovered or moved on from it.
"Don't go to Shibuya alone at night if you're a woman." Maaaan. I always felt so safe in Japan. I'd never considered that women could feel differently.
I am a Japanese man, and to begin with, there are not many Japanese who can speak English or other foreign languages, so it is difficult for me to have the courage to communicate at that point. Another reason is that Japanese people are basically not very open to romance. And there are Nanpa men in Japan. They are like one particular hobby, and there are a few special men in Japan who specialize in doing so on a daily basis. Be careful.
Honestly even if we're perhaps more direct over here in North America and in the West in general, communication is a skill and some people never mature and learn to do it effectively. Men bottling up emotions and being passive in a relationship happens a lot here too as a result of our culture and upbringing. Women can experience the same issues. It's definitely a skill and one that both partners have to learn, hopefully sooner rather than later.
First time I’ve run into this channel and I really enjoyed it, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’ve wanted travel everywhere, I love learning about other cultures and traditions. This channels really great w the questions he asks, especially as a female, Japan seems safer for solo foreign females compared to S Korea from videos I’ve watch. Glad to know that
It is true that a lot of Japanese guys ask for English lessons, but they have no intention of actually learning English.They just want to date you or want a foreigner girlfriend. And ghosting is definitely very common. I have some really bad ghosting experiences in Japan.
Every relationship dies, if the communication fails. It doesn't matter if you're a mushroom or a Shiba Inu. The success of the relationship depends on how you and your partner handle things. While it is true that Japanese guys communicate in a different way, it is not impossible for foreigners to learn it. I'm from Germany and we Germans love to be DIRECT. So if I suggested that I'm going to cut my hair short and my Japanese partner did not like the idea, he would never say: DON'T DO IT!! instead he would say: I think a little bit shorter would suit you well. A LITTLE BIT. A German guy would tell you straight away: please don't cut your hair short, I love your long hair. Or if there is something your Japanese partner disagrees with, he would never directly say that he hates the idea, but try to express his discomfort by saying: oh no, but this is embarrassing for me. Understand and respect your partner's wishes. If you can generally get along well, then I don't see a problem here. If you need to know about red flags, then I guess the universal red flag applies here. A man, who doesn't know how to treat women right, is definitely a red flag. A man who does not understand the concept of consent is a criminal and criminals belong in the prison. And then we have our lovely cheetahs, but personally I think they belong inside a zoo. Clearly make sure to set boundaries on cheating with your boyfriend at the beginning of your relationship. If you can both stick to it, that means you're able to respect your partner. And this will prove that he's a real one. A good relationship needs a little bit of care, yes, but I would say that most of it comes natural, if he's really the one ;)
also: I'm neurodivergent, so it might be easier for me to adapt, than it may be for the average person. My man doesn't speak a word of English, so naturally we would communicate fully in Japanese. I must say, studying Japanese with a Japanese boyfriend is a lot more fun and easier to do. Also, I love him very much :)
@Mariajbh2 then they must learn to communicate first. They must be willing to improve themselves. What we can do is to offer our help, but it is for them to accept it. Of course, a lot also depends on the mental constitution of your partner, which is formed by the relationship with their parents and social environment. Since that is a more complex topic, only a good therapist might be able to untangle it. A lot can be done for a mutually respectful treatment. I wish you all the best 🫂
My ex Japanese boyfriend thinks my direct communication is aggressive just because I question stuff about him. Like how he blindly believes stuff just because it's mainstream but skeptical of everything that is not mainstream. Wheird. But he's from Kanto. He can be pretty passive aggressive which worked for him in Portland, OR. 😅
Yes it looks like they just listen to the propaganda and don't bother at all to make their own researches...probably too busy to survive in a very pressed society...
It's actually a very American way of thinking....cos they will routinely refuse to ever read or listen to any band unless they've seen said author or band on network TV. Otherwise how could it be any good??.
That's Australian girl. Absolutely love her. Australians have so much spirit. And i have a few online Australian friends. That are some of my best friends 🙏♥️
@emilwandel in western culture there is an assumption of sexual exclusivity in a romantic relationship unless specifically stated otherwise. It's as much about safety as it is loyalty. Hiring a sex worker is usually only considered acceptable in the West if you're planning to share their services with your partner or you've each agreed in advance that it's alright for either of you to have sex with other people.
@@user-ey7qi9iz8rwell said and important distinction on the safety part, if your partner male or female is sleeping around with prostitutes you have a high probability of being exposed to STDs, and that shit doesn't go away it ruins life's.
I loved your interactions with Minnesota Girl! I think she is your type!! It was very interesting to hear all about these women's experiences with Japanese men. So happy to have discovered your channel!
It's very interesting to see a cheating culture that allows seeing prostitutes but also are quick to say I love you and also don't/can't express what they actually feel. They seem quite related.
From what I've gathered through these sorts of interviews many Japanese view the relationship more in terms of emotions rather than as a physical thing... So they might think "cheating" is fine as long as there are no feelings involved, hence why going to a soapland and getting a handjob from a random girl you don't know might not be viewed as cheating. In the west on the other hand we tend to put more weight on the physical aspects of a relationship as well (Not saying we don't put importance on the emotional, but the physical probably holds about equal importance for many). So kissing, touching, or anything sexual is basically seen as a part of the relationship and something that should be reserved for your loved one. Although I will say that we can also be super weird about cheating maybe in leaning pretty far the opposite way, where we might consider completely harmless things to be cheating... Like the American girl in the video, she listed "talking to other girls" and "liking someone's posts" as something she'd consider cheating. From my short time visiting Japan and the people I met, having friends of the opposite sex seems to be much more normal. Meanwhile in the US and other parts of the western world a ton of people would consider that to be a huge red flag...
@Kriss_941 No, they are a very narcissistic, and misogynistic and patriarchal society. And women are not allowed to do what men do. You cannot separate the mind from the body and men do not allow women to do that. They have any posible defense
Edit: I forgot to type don't* my bad! I personally don't* think that talking to the opposite sex or liking other people's pictures is cheating... However, it depends on what they're talking about and what kind of picture my boyfriend likes, especially if it's tons of them! Like if they start flirting together, yikes. Like sure, you can like pretty women's photos, but if they're all thirst traps or sexy photos of them wearing lingerie or skimpy outfits... Ishhh... Idk, I wouldn't be comfortable with fhat to be honest. Thinking from my boyfriend's point of view, I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend (me) doing that either (i.e., flirting with other men or liking tons of men's thirst traps or sexy photos). 😅
I would love to live in Japan, but I’m too old for a working visa so I stay in Japan every year for 2mths. Once i told a group of my Japanese friends (all woman) I need to find a Japanese husband so I can live here. They all said "NO, Japanese men are hard work, they expect wife to cook, clean & wait on them all the time." 😊
I found this to be a very interesting video. Not just because it is about dating but because it presents women from different cultures and different countries. I enjoyed hearing from the American woman but also the Congolese and Australian. This captures not only the differences in how foreigners are treated, but also differences in perceptions about Japanese culture (chivalry, communication, exclusive partners).
As an American, I just can't understand how one could not express their feelings. How is that? How does one go about not expressing sadness, anger, happiness, joy, thankfulness, etc? I would never want to be around someone that leaves me wondering and guessing how they feel. That's just so creepy and stressful.
Falling in love it easy. When you are from different cultures, habits, points of view, social class, language, foods,… it can be quite daunting! I immigrated to America when i was on’y 2 yo. My husband is French. I thought we have very similar view on life. But after 19 years together, i realized that at high level we all want a home and a family but aren’t in the same place when come to the little details. I want to build a life and i was ready to make sacrifices to get to the goal. He already has a life here already and he wants to pursue a lifestyle.
Ahhh, the more things change. I had a friend who was really bad at arriving on time, and even though I had to travel a lot further, I would always arrive on time and wait for her at the appointed spot near the Hachiko statue. Sometimes I would wait an hour. Usually in the ballpark of 20-30 minutes. We didn’t have fancy smartphones back then (2003) so I would stand there and pretend to be very focused on writing an email so that I could plausibly ignore the men who inevitably approached me. Don’t hang around Shibuya at night, but also try to have friends who don’t make you stand around Shibuya alone at night.
I used to work in shibuya, in a office jimusho as engineer. And yup I remember having seen young men achi kochi looking at girls when walking and stopping them for talking. Just now I understand what was that hehe. In my experience, I was very inlove with a Japanese guy, but he kind of made public that he wanted a partner with whom he could keep secrets from and that consider whatever he said as true without making problems… I was very inlove but I was not willing. Yup, the cheating thing is a serious matter there.
My husband is Japanese I’m American. My husband is actually more opened. While I’m the shy one 😂 I don’t like to go out with friends much. I also have a lot of anxiety. My husband been trying to help me with that. He is also taking care of my health. We are heading for are 2 year of marriage. We also dated for just 2 years before we got married. I felt like it was a bit rushed. But also know that he is the one for me. We try to understand each other culture wise. It dose help with the relationship. The day he proposed to me was more of him asking if I want to marry him. I said yes. Then he gone out got a ring and set a day for the wedding. Then I told him how we Americans do it. Then he felt like he has to do it that way with the ring and I’m like your to cute 😂 He dose go out of his way taking care of me I have health problems and it scares him. Also he is gone a lot do to his job. Knowing I’m home alone. No family to come stay with me or anything. But he is there for me as much as he can and we love each other so much. ❤❤❤ There are times when he don’t understand English words and he needs to understand it because work. Then I’ll translate it for him. Then he is like ohhh thanks. Other part. He don’t believe me that I need to wash my hair about every 3 days to a week. Even 3 days is pushing it. So I had him feel his hair at night and smell mine. He learn it did not stink. Was not slimy like his. Japanese hair gets greasy very fast. They need to wash their hair every day. This was my experience 😂 hope this helps
@iamdmc nah it was just her face lmaooooo and mfer, we're not a bunch of hosers that say "eh" we say "yeah. Oh yeah you betcha" you're literally watching a cultural analysis video and can't even get that right? Geek.
@@mediocreman2 She has pleasing, striking features, really beautiful eyes. Obviously she could have her pick of men, on the whole. But her clear insecurity regarding loyalty tells the story. I think a western white woman would perceive that east Asian men would be easier to lock down. Some others probably like the idea of being feitishized. She actually bears a noticeable resemblance to the "adult" star Melody Marks, an American who is popular in Japan, who btw has a long, really interesting interview you can find on YT regarding doing porn in Japan. The Minnesota girls is, from what I've seen, what Japanse guys like in Western women. Not surprised she's married.
@@NextExiterit is not considered insecurity in the US for a woman to expect her partner to be exclusive to them. It is considered being respectful to your partnership. Most US women expect equal partnership with their boyfriend/husband. There are, of course, all types of relationships in the US, but many couples consider showing any romantic or physical attraction to someone other than your partner is unacceptable. I would say especially a physical relationship with someone other than your partner is a dealbreaker most of the time in the US for both partners, men and women.
Ok. Old woman here. I went to Germany on a class trip in 1978 and our teacher warned us that German and Austrian men thought American women were “loose.” Aw. Poor deluded men. 😂
I'm really doubtful western people wait a couple of months before start dating. I think we jump into both dating and hook ups very fast nowadays, the only difference I see to Japanese culture is the official confession or question, whereas here there are not such rules or patterns, although I'm from eastern europe
Do people not wear wedding rings in Japan? I noticed the American woman didn't have a ring on. Might be personal choice but I just wondered if it was a thing not to wear them in Japan.
Most likely because she did say there was issues with cheating on his part. She seemed VERY uncomfortable about the topic. She probably doesn’t wear it because of that..
I'm married and don't wear a ring. It's not obligatory to wear it. In my case, I don't wear any jewelry and rings feel very uncomfortable. I only wear it on special occasions.
Men, especially, don’t. Also, because of work. My over 75y MIL was like, oh, I lost my wedding ring at some point when the kids were small, can’t remember when and how.
Right!! I noticed this as well. And do they wear it on their right or left hand?? I know some who wear it as a necklace because it's bothersome. Kinda strange.
I was in the US Navy in the late 90s and stayed in japan for some time, then came back and stayed in Tokyo for 6 months and i was ASTOUNDED by how pervasive cheating was and how little they all cared about it. I did not expect that, for some reason. I must say that is one area where i much prefer my home culture's viewpoint.
The girl from the Congo lived the longest in Japan. Everyone else was 2yrs or less. I feel like thats not enough time to collect a lot of data on it 😂😅
It’s very funny that my husband and I are both American and we have had a very similar relationship experience 😅 my husband asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date/time hanging out. He doesn’t really speak his feelings, but it shows in his actions. It could be that we’re very “old souls” or traditional. I’m currently learning how to speak Japanese because it’s been a goal for us to have our late honeymoon in Japan ❤️
From my dating experience in Tokyo the bumble experience was terrible lol but the girls I went on a date with that I met in real life were some of the most fun and genuine connections aside from the language barrier and us trying really hard to communicate 😂 it was a fun time
very nice to see different experiences and answers from people from various countries. thanks for the video again, Takashi! but damn no offence to the American girl that has been dating for almost 2 years and married for almost 1 year...i was pretty surprised as that's pretty quick for me at least and she seems to be young as well. Listening to her answers, it seems that there's a lot of things that still had to be sorted out before going in but once again, i'm not the one to judge! hope the best for here and everyone in the video!
I agree that communication was a little bit of a problem in my experience. Other than that, I had great experiences and lived in Tokyo for 6 years. My fiance was from shikoku and he was a really great person. My only complaint is that I would have liked more communication as well as understanding, and maybe that is one reason that led to me feeling off in our relationship and led to our breakup. I was also young and immature. Also, I can converse in japanese and he does speak English.
I'm also from a country where we say I love you rather quickly from a foreigner perspective. But we don't literally mean that we totally "love you from the bottom of the heart, less go have babies" or something. It's just awkward language for "let's begin the steps for forming an exclusive relationship".
@samuraijosh1595 oh wow that is wild!! Because that lowers the value of the word. I just say "friends with benefits" and keep it moving. Hahahaha I am being honest with them. "Love" in essence should have heavy value. It means I am willing to take your crazy and mine together...I ain't ready for that after like "3rd date".
@@namastewoke5197 no it's just a misuse of the original English slang for dating that's adopted in their language. It doesn't lower the value of a date to "3rd" rate because it's just using the wrong diction to express an idea. That's about it. I'm surprised Takashi didn't push back on this to explain it.
My husband and I said it very quickly as well, about a month into our relationship. I think it just depends on the people as well as how deeply you feel the connection. I knew I loved my husband after our first date BUT I didn’t dare say it lol 😂
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You all have small pee pee
lol fuck you. There is no hyphenated "American." How come you don't say African-American or European-American? Dumb ass.
OK, Japanese men are to be avoided at all costs. Got it.
I’m one of the Colombian girls interviewed! Thank you Takashi for the interview 😊
Just to make one thing clear, with my ex we used both English and Japanese to communicate, so even though I think the language barrier could play a big role in not being able to communicate properly, in our case it was more about our cultural backgrounds and upbringing that were the issue. Hope it helps 😊
Most of the Japanese thinks that they're always right, and they want to change/fix you. You're right, they have to accept their partner's culture and values.
Consejos para vivir en Japon sin morir en el intento?
Cual la primera blanca o la segunda?
@@skatecdo7625 Isn't it normal to adapt to them if you are in their country ?
Unless the Japanese is the one living in your country, you need to adapt to their culture if you live in their country, not because they think they are always right, it is because you need to respect the culture of a country you are in. It is common sense.
I wonder why there are foreigners like you that tend to talk shit about the Japanese while you are the one being an asshole for not being able to adapt to them in their country.
Love Colombia! I have been studying Spanish for years. It's the most beautiful language in the world. I skyped for years with a Colombiana from Medellin which made me appreciate the Colombian culture. Viva Colombia! Viva Los Cafeteros!
Ghosting someone you’re IN a relationship with is still too hard for me to wrap my head around. Great info from all the ladies 👍
Very common for men and women to do this in America.
Agreed, comes across as lack of maturity , and using convenient excuses
Happened to me in Canada after 6 years being together. I wanted to marry her. She stopped replying to my texts, messages on Facebook and then eventually blocked me on everything but that's rare here. Every time I tell someone they're shocked.
It's honestly taken me years to get over it. I haven't tried dating for almost 4 years now. I'm dying alone. 🙃
@@Censorship.Destroyed.Freedom Was this someone you met online?
@@Censorship.Destroyed.Freedom Something similar happened to a friend of mine- she was with a guy for a few years and was literally moving into a house with the guy and he just disappeared for like 2 weeks= wouldn't answer his phone or anything. She was so worried then it turned out he had been cheating and ghosted her- I drove her to the house to pick her stuff up. It was bizarre as hell (we are American.)
She’s right about the touching you too early on. If they’re too touchy feely too quickly, they’re trying to see how far they can go because of whatever image they’ve concocted in their head about you. I’ve ended dates who have been disrespectful and assumed I would go home with them on the first date. I’m so glad I’m off the market.
That's awful and so objectifying..so sorry you've been through that..😢
unbereevable
So same as everywhere else
Whats wrong with touchy-feely? Some people communicate like that wtf. Stop assuming sht.
@ Trololololol lolololol
My Japanese husband said "I love you" on the first date. I told him he was ridiculous. We have been married for 27 years.
Good thing that it didn't give you a gut feeling to run for the hills, and you gave him a chance.
@@Mia-es1rp knowing it's a cultural difference and the meaning isn't exactly the same must help a lot. A first date saying something like "I like you a lot" wouldn't be as much of a red flag
Me too except it was the third😂 I understand him now and think it’s cute but at the time I was freaked out and told him no you don’t 😂
@@Toribell1928What did you came to understand about him? If you want to tell. I want to understand that too. Wish you good luck 😊
I love that for you two 😂
I'm glad you gave him a shot anyways 🖤
I've been married to a Japanese man for 32 years. An intercultural relationship can be so interesting and fun if you share the same values and some of the same interests or hobbies. I didn't know I'd be moving to Japan when I started dating my husband in Chicago. Back then Japan wasn't super popular like now, and there was no internet. But that was also part of the fun. Living in Kyoto now, I'm amazed to see how many tourists here because when my husband and I came here on our honeymoon back in 1992, it was not crowded at all. But I'm not surprised Japan has become so popular, even back in the 1990s I thought it's a wonderful country and culture, and I still think so.
Well done, I am a western guy married to a Japanese woman for 23 years, since we were both in our early 20s, some ups and downs in the early days but the last 10 years has been smooth sailing. We are proof a couple from different cultures can definitely work as long as you have the same morals & values, I agree with that. ☮
Yep, it can come down to having same values, interests and hobbies. That's part of the reason I was only with my ex Japanese boyfriend 3 years because we didn't have enough in common. 😌 so you are pretty spot on with that.
Nice. I'm a Korean-Canadian married to a Canadian woman for 35 years. She lived in Japan for a year and was fluent in Japanese, and I was minoring in Japanese history, and so we met at the uni. There are cultural hurdles regardless of how "westernized" the immigrant - 1st or 2nd gen - is bc we don't realize how deeply cultural values are imbedded through our formative years.
I think at the end of the day respecting the other person's autonomy and the right to express their feelings is crucial in making compromises. The expressions of love do change over the long haul of marriage, and it's important to recognize the changes and still validate them as Love.
@@9y2bgy 🙏📿
I’m surprised this didn’t mention how Japan is grappling with consent. The idea of “what is rape” is slowly being clarified, but areas like ‘is it okay if she’s passed out”, or “is saying no enough” are still not legally clear or enforced.
... WHAT??!
"Is it okay if she's passed out" is a real question being debated?!
@@francookie9353It’s really true, Japan for all its modernity is still a very sexist country, women as less than men often.
@@francookie9353Not only in Japan.
When I was in uni in the early 2000s, most people thought it was ok. I did not. Thankfully it's being questioned now.
@@cmm5542 In 3rd world countries I wouldn't be surprised, but in Japan?! Wow.
@@francookie9353 there is still a lot of sexism in Japan, at least that was my experience when I lived there for two years
My mother is Japanese being a stupid teen I asked her, do you think Dad was involved with another woman overseas since he was away for a year?
When I saw the pain in my mother's face I knew I could never do that to somebody else.
Even though it might be acceptable by Japanese culture and some people have the same sort of attitudes Latino culture, It's about integrity and loving your spouse.
If you love your spouse and you have integrity, you will not cheat or have sex with anybody else.
It’s just sex
@@yo2trader539 same thing
@@DRAGONswag33 It's not just sex. That's excused used by people who want to cheat and don't care about their partner.
@ maybe you just don’t understand about keeping the relationships lively
Tf you on weirdass @@DRAGONswag33
Pro tip from someone with a Japanese partner: be fluent in Japanese and talk about deeper topics (e.g. social and cultural norms, economic issues, religion, etc.) before you catch feelings.
i mean… that’s really universal advice. in dating cultures you don’t ask that stuff because the exploration in that other person is romanticized. but courting people should factor in a lot of those principles of identity. courting and dating are not the same thing
hahahhahahahahahaha
BEFORE you kiss 😅
I can't imagine dating someone if there isn't a language we're both fluent in, and since Japan has the worst English language scores/results in the world (or so I've read,) it's better not to bank on the common language between a Japanese partner and yourself being English. Learning Japanese is good advice. Even better if both of you can speak each others' native languages, though, then you both have an easier time reaching mutual understanding.
I've been married to a Japanese woman for 14yrs I don't speak a lick of Japanese but I'm working on it now for fun. Smh just be a human
Takashi's english has gotten better
I don't think so, but he makes more sense when he speaks a bit slower
as long we can understand him, mate, which we all do, then that is more than enough
He is so good looking too!
He definitely got better! Go him! 🥰
The girlfrom congo looks like a princess, so beautiful!
Interesting video Takashi 😊
Gorgeous, and the dress adds to her beauty immensely
She is incredibly beautiful and she has her own UA-cam channel!
@@santisanti8386which is?
@@andreas1416 Crazyllah
@@santisanti8386 and she did her MSC and PHD in environmental sciences in Japan
Takashi i just want to say, your English has improved so much from the time you started doing these videos.
“If I found out my bf went to a prostitue, they wouldn’t come back, like you’re not mine now” so real
Facts!
Same here: (I am super-faithful to my boyfriend and always say:) If you go and have sex with somebody else...stay there, do not come back.
I can’t help but wonder if this a double standard rooted in traditional sexism (“men will be men” “they can’t help themselves”) or if women would also be allowed to have casual sex with no consequences.
@ from what i understand if their partner doesn’t know then it doesn’t matter, i’ve also found that girls tend to “not care” if there’s no emotional connection (i think they’re just forced to forgive and forget), i totally agree it stems from “boys will be boys” for sure tho
they can’t even control their body, that’s not a good sign
The British girl! We attended Japanese lessons together last year at the academy in Seville! Good luck to you in Japan!!
she is the most beautiful! don't understand why she only has a small interview in this clip!
@@economicyolo My men, the video is not a beauty contest.
@@economicyolo no no Tanzania girl wins 🤓☝
@@economicyolo not takashii's type I guess
@@economicyolo What has being beautiful got to do with the interview? 😂😂 Thirsty mofkr
As an African American man it felt great to see the beautiful woman from Congo treated well, she compared her treatment to her home country itself.
she has a youtube channel if your'e interested. she talks a lot about her experience in japan her channel is crazyllah
She's a beauty!
As a Congolese American who went to Japan, I also was treated well in Japan and had such a wonderful time. Japan is great!
She was READY for those questions
It was nice to see. I have heard that anti-blackness is a problem in Japan, but it's nice to see at least one example to show otherwise.
I find that the Netflix’s show Love is Blind gives a pretty good comparison point. Start with Amercan version, watch couple of seasons to learn the patterns of the show and after that watch other nations in that order: Brazil, Japan, Sweden. You’ll get a really great overview of what one or another culture emphasis, how the society functions and what they are lacking in comparison. It’s super polarised and you can see where a lot of problems lay in all of the cultures.
Takashi try to interview older foreigners to see there perspective and also what does the older 40 plus Japanese women feel about relationships with foreigners. Great content as always
the australian girl is GORGEOUS and super sweet, I love her vibe
Pity about those horrfid eyebrows. Doesn't she have anyone that tells her?
It's awesome to see foreigners living in other countries. This is how we learn about each other and see how similar everyone really is except for minor cultural differences.
Yes, but its not awesome when they start projecting and trying to change the local ways deeming them wrong. Plenty of that in the comments.
"minor" lol
are you referring to xenophobia and sexism lmao
@@andieallison6792 Both which can be found in the US, exactly everywhere
12:40 That's not a cheating culture shock, that's just cheating and conditioning to accept cheating, specially because these same guys would NOT be accepting of the women cheating on them. This happens everywhere where women were conditioned to accept men that would disrespect and dehumanize them because they literally depended on them to exist and survive. Also, the reason why so many Japanese women prefer being single while the men refuse to evolve as human beings, apparently. Like in most places around the world, unfortunately.
I discussed this with my piano teacher. She is an older Japanese woman and said she could not accept how men treated her in Japan and early on decided to "not bother" in her words.
She also said her parents would not have accepted a foreigner in those times (she grew up in the 70s and 80s).
Kind of sad.
Misandry. The data show men and women cheat. The same %. Surprise.
Yea…pretty messed up
What a wonderful group of women you have found to interview. They are all so pretty and interesting. Being a bit older it shocking to me how everyone is using these dating apps.
You are a fine interviewer and very interesting to watch .
Thank you
why does it shock you? dating apps exist out of conviniency, this is why people use them. why go out and do the work when you instead can get your date with only a click of a button on top having options 100x larger than it wouldve bin normaly?
@
I once tried to create a dating app profile and felt like I was putting myself out there like a piece of meat and found the whole process to be degrading. I would think these beautiful women would attract men like bees to, honey but I guess I am wrong and I am shocked that they need to advertise 😬
@@Mr39knuck or maybe they are lying. consider it is universally men are picking women on dating based on proceeded beauty and avability. women pick men based on hight, profession and appearance. this is based on actual data analytics. majority of women mostly uses dating apps as a form of validation and yes for men particular it is rather degrading consider that 80% of the male population arent appealing for women in dating apps. than theres the fact that roughly 60-70% users of dating apps on the regular base are men.
@Mr39knuck My dude. Bees are not attracted to honey, they make honey. They are attracted to flowers containing pollen.
@@DeaDiabola Jesus loves you 🙏
I’m sorry but the one American chick her facial expressions looked like the topic of cheating hit real close to home and heart. I hope she finds her happiness and peace ❤
She also said Watching videos counts as cheating to each their own But that's WILD lol
@DillonHathaway i guess if it's live videos that they can interact with the female.....porn is one thing....those other interacting videos are almost like virtual prostitution, because the voyeur pays currency for the female to do specific things for their viewing pleasure. I would have issue with the interacting viewing type. Just porn....that's nothing really to get on about. But the live streams....that is pushing.
She also wasn't wearing a ring 👀 plenty of reasons for that, but heads up.
girl was a huge walking red flag
That girl needs to be single for a loooooong time. Too insecure.
very revealing interviews ~ thank you to all the ladies
love the ausi girl.Such a positive vibe and soul.
The ones who talk about Western dating culture refer in reality to anglo-saxon dating culture. In France things work the opposite way: if you've been on a few dates it's assumed you're a couple unless you specifically clarified it's only casual. I was working for an international company in Paris and I heard many Americans, Brits and Australians complain about that. They thought it was weird how their French dates would consider them a couple after only a few dates without asking. This whole concept of "the talk" doesn't really exist here. I'm biased obviously, but I prefer that. I always thought it was silly to go on dates for weeks or months with someone and then being like "what are we?". It's making things more complicated than they need to be.
À chaque fois que les Anglo saxon parle de culture « Western » ils essayent de nous englober avec eux alors que c juste vrais pour leurs pays (Amérique, UK, Australie) c’est très frustrant. Ils sont très ignorant et après les autres pays pensent que nous somme comme eux 🤡
Obviously Anglo Saxons represent the whole monolithic west /s
It's really frustrating
To also note that women in France are more emancipated. It's not unusual for a girl to ask you out by making the first move
Je suis italienne et c’est la même chose qu’en Italie. On ne doit pas échanger des mots ou faire des annonces publiques pour déclarer d’être une couple ❤
In the Netherlands it’s also common to get to know each other first and then decide about making it ‘official’. Perhaps it has to do with ‘north-western’ culture.
A girlfriend or wife being okay with a prostitute is wild.
Just a different culture and mindset I guess, but I can't imagine taking that as anything other than an insult to their sex life.
I suspect because porn/AV is so rampant there, the guys expect all sorts of weird stuff that women aren’t ok to do. So the women relent on ‘outsourcing’ it to the brothels… as long as their bf/husband fulfils the other responsibilities of the relationship.
Also, how can you then have sex with your husband, knowing he has, and is sleeping with prostitutes!? I would be repulsed.
An abusive society towards women is't "culture"
Yeah, Japan is that fucked up!
@@chandanchakraborty879 Really misogynist place
The girl from DRC, her dress is GORGEOUS. Literally wearing that princess vibe hard.
I’m so glad to be a part of this and you never fail to amaze me with your content!!! I loved watching this video!!!! Hope to see you again soon Takashi🤗 all the best!
- Kira (3:32, Australian/american/Burmese born in Tanzania) hehehe
19:30 Takashi's eyes look away to contemplate in shock - because he knows that men in Japan don't usually say "I love you" that fast, the idea that the "problem" is actually *you* being so lovable 🤣
Breathtakingly beautiful, your content is amazing
Don't take this the wrong way but the first 2 sentences of your comment made me think you were a Prawn bot 😂
I really enjoyed your sections of the interview! Btw you are so pretty! I will subscribe to you! Let's collab next time I'm in Japan 😁
Kira, you are like a full moon in the dark sky, so mesmerizing. 😳🥰
11:27 that dramatic camera shot of Takashi looking genuinely concerned lol😂
Very informative and interesting. It's awesome that you asked women from a variety of backgrounds.
I lived in Japan for 6 years and dating was awful there. I found most men were either too passive or they just wanted s e x. So many Japanese men cheat…the cheating culture really surprised me. Celebrities have no problem admitting that they had mistresses in the past on TV. And women are told that we should forgive them at least once.
I moved to Korea and I found the men to be much more masculine and easier to date. I am happily married now. Many of the guys openly express their feelings which works much better for me as opposed to Japanese guys who are too embarrassed to be vulnerable. So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic.
"So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic."
The last part can be applied to every men with low self esteem regardless of their culture ✌️
👍🏽
So toxic? FU btch. You came to another country, another culture.. and you dare to dictate how the fkng people shiuld be there, what they should think, how they should act? What they should and shouldnt value? Your not a fkng center of the world. Stfu and gtfo
Calling yourself intelligent is so fkng comical.
I found Japanese men to be either very shy or very direct. No in between. I had guys walk up to me on the street within a second of seeing me and saying "you are beautiful, do you want to get coffee?" But also guys sneaking around me for hours while running errands in the city before they very shyly asked me out. I was married for all the years living in Japan (still am) so always politely declined...
Hey Takashii! I always appreciate your content and how respectfully you interact with the people you interview. I was wondering if you’ve interviewed people who burned out or got injured from overwork in Japan. I’ve met quite a few people in Japan who went through it and so did I. I think it would be interesting to hear how people recovered or moved on from it.
Tekashii asking the hard hitting questions! Love the video
"Don't go to Shibuya alone at night if you're a woman." Maaaan. I always felt so safe in Japan. I'd never considered that women could feel differently.
Japan is extremely tough for women, both foreign and native. How did you not know about it at all? It's a pretty infamous topic
I am a Japanese man, and to begin with, there are not many Japanese who can speak English or other foreign languages, so it is difficult for me to have the courage to communicate at that point. Another reason is that Japanese people are basically not very open to romance.
And there are Nanpa men in Japan. They are like one particular hobby, and there are a few special men in Japan who specialize in doing so on a daily basis. Be careful.
@@patatedesbois4748 Yes, although there are not many, you should be careful because there are some Nanpa men who try to talk to foreign women.
@@patatedesbois4748 Pfffft, you have those men all over the world. They get more noticed in Japan because they are so different from the other guys.
I hope that more Japanese men will have the courage to speak to foreigners!! 💪😤🇯🇵
@@patatedesbois4748 not a bad hobby. Is it?
@@realstage1925 Why? Should Japanese not share a bed with foreigners?
Honestly even if we're perhaps more direct over here in North America and in the West in general, communication is a skill and some people never mature and learn to do it effectively. Men bottling up emotions and being passive in a relationship happens a lot here too as a result of our culture and upbringing. Women can experience the same issues. It's definitely a skill and one that both partners have to learn, hopefully sooner rather than later.
The girl from Congo is sooo beautiful ❤ and the girl from Australia looks like a doll with that curly blond hair ❤
The italian girl was describing him and he felt every word he cut the interview short😂
I saw that too it was hilarious
First time I’ve run into this channel and I really enjoyed it, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’ve wanted travel everywhere, I love learning about other cultures and traditions. This channels really great w the questions he asks, especially as a female, Japan seems safer for solo foreign females compared to S Korea from videos I’ve watch. Glad to know that
It is true that a lot of Japanese guys ask for English lessons, but they have no intention of actually learning English.They just want to date you or want a foreigner girlfriend. And ghosting is definitely very common. I have some really bad ghosting experiences in Japan.
It's very true, and the opposite is also true with foreigners wanting to meet Japanese girl through lessons.
Every relationship dies, if the communication fails. It doesn't matter if you're a mushroom or a Shiba Inu. The success of the relationship depends on how you and your partner handle things.
While it is true that Japanese guys communicate in a different way, it is not impossible for foreigners to learn it.
I'm from Germany and we Germans love to be DIRECT. So if I suggested that I'm going to cut my hair short and my Japanese partner did not like the idea, he would never say: DON'T DO IT!!
instead he would say: I think a little bit shorter would suit you well.
A LITTLE BIT.
A German guy would tell you straight away: please don't cut your hair short, I love your long hair.
Or if there is something your Japanese partner disagrees with, he would never directly say that he hates the idea, but try to express his discomfort by saying: oh no, but this is embarrassing for me.
Understand and respect your partner's wishes. If you can generally get along well, then I don't see a problem here.
If you need to know about red flags, then I guess the universal red flag applies here. A man, who doesn't know how to treat women right, is definitely a red flag. A man who does not understand the concept of consent is a criminal and criminals belong in the prison. And then we have our lovely cheetahs, but personally I think they belong inside a zoo.
Clearly make sure to set boundaries on cheating with your boyfriend at the beginning of your relationship. If you can both stick to it, that means you're able to respect your partner. And this will prove that he's a real one.
A good relationship needs a little bit of care, yes, but I would say that most of it comes natural, if he's really the one ;)
also: I'm neurodivergent, so it might be easier for me to adapt, than it may be for the average person. My man doesn't speak a word of English, so naturally we would communicate fully in Japanese. I must say, studying Japanese with a Japanese boyfriend is a lot more fun and easier to do. Also, I love him very much :)
Most of Japanese don't communicate
@Mariajbh2 then they must learn to communicate first. They must be willing to improve themselves. What we can do is to offer our help, but it is for them to accept it. Of course, a lot also depends on the mental constitution of your partner, which is formed by the relationship with their parents and social environment. Since that is a more complex topic, only a good therapist might be able to untangle it. A lot can be done for a mutually respectful treatment. I wish you all the best 🫂
you had me at mushroom and shiba inu ..
My ex Japanese boyfriend thinks my direct communication is aggressive just because I question stuff about him. Like how he blindly believes stuff just because it's mainstream but skeptical of everything that is not mainstream. Wheird. But he's from Kanto. He can be pretty passive aggressive which worked for him in Portland, OR. 😅
Yes it looks like they just listen to the propaganda and don't bother at all to make their own researches...probably too busy to survive in a very pressed society...
It's actually a very American way of thinking....cos they will routinely refuse to ever read or listen to any band unless they've seen said author or band on network TV. Otherwise how could it be any good??.
@@Kevin-zz9nc and so you believe at 100% the mainstream media ?
i can see why hes an ex, also im curious what questions are we talking about? i doubt were talking about random questions here.
@@dendrienprobably vaccines lol
5:55 - Best boy living his best life in the background 😂
@06:05 her pointing at the dog taking a pewp is legendary.
Lol! "Pewp".
That's Australian girl. Absolutely love her. Australians have so much spirit. And i have a few online Australian friends. That are some of my best friends 🙏♥️
That was very interesting, it's always great sharing personal experiences!
BEWARNED: Many Japanese men don't think hiring prostitutes is cheating. 💀
why would it be? They are not dating them.
@emilwandel in western culture there is an assumption of sexual exclusivity in a romantic relationship unless specifically stated otherwise. It's as much about safety as it is loyalty. Hiring a sex worker is usually only considered acceptable in the West if you're planning to share their services with your partner or you've each agreed in advance that it's alright for either of you to have sex with other people.
Not only Japanese, in Italy some men think the same thing.
@@user-ey7qi9iz8rwell said and important distinction on the safety part, if your partner male or female is sleeping around with prostitutes you have a high probability of being exposed to STDs, and that shit doesn't go away it ruins life's.
What think japanese women about?
I loved your interactions with Minnesota Girl! I think she is your type!! It was very interesting to hear all about these women's experiences with Japanese men. So happy to have discovered your channel!
It's very interesting to see a cheating culture that allows seeing prostitutes but also are quick to say I love you and also don't/can't express what they actually feel. They seem quite related.
Men cheating and being abusive towards women isn't "culture"
From what I've gathered through these sorts of interviews many Japanese view the relationship more in terms of emotions rather than as a physical thing... So they might think "cheating" is fine as long as there are no feelings involved, hence why going to a soapland and getting a handjob from a random girl you don't know might not be viewed as cheating.
In the west on the other hand we tend to put more weight on the physical aspects of a relationship as well (Not saying we don't put importance on the emotional, but the physical probably holds about equal importance for many). So kissing, touching, or anything sexual is basically seen as a part of the relationship and something that should be reserved for your loved one.
Although I will say that we can also be super weird about cheating maybe in leaning pretty far the opposite way, where we might consider completely harmless things to be cheating... Like the American girl in the video, she listed "talking to other girls" and "liking someone's posts" as something she'd consider cheating. From my short time visiting Japan and the people I met, having friends of the opposite sex seems to be much more normal. Meanwhile in the US and other parts of the western world a ton of people would consider that to be a huge red flag...
@Kriss_941 No, they are a very narcissistic, and misogynistic and patriarchal society. And women are not allowed to do what men do. You cannot separate the mind from the body and men do not allow women to do that. They have any posible defense
Edit: I forgot to type don't* my bad!
I personally don't* think that talking to the opposite sex or liking other people's pictures is cheating... However, it depends on what they're talking about and what kind of picture my boyfriend likes, especially if it's tons of them! Like if they start flirting together, yikes. Like sure, you can like pretty women's photos, but if they're all thirst traps or sexy photos of them wearing lingerie or skimpy outfits... Ishhh... Idk, I wouldn't be comfortable with fhat to be honest. Thinking from my boyfriend's point of view, I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend (me) doing that either (i.e., flirting with other men or liking tons of men's thirst traps or sexy photos). 😅
@Marie-MichelleFortier You should be a troll, no one thinks that talking to the opposite sex is cheating and less a Westerner
Would be great to have a video about feminism in Japan. It feels like there is a bigger problem with matchos.
great video as always, thanks for the perspective Takashii and guests!
Takashii-san, your English is improving. Nice job. 😊
I would love to live in Japan, but I’m too old for a working visa so I stay in Japan every year for 2mths. Once i told a group of my Japanese friends (all woman) I need to find a Japanese husband so I can live here. They all said "NO, Japanese men are hard work, they expect wife to cook, clean & wait on them all the time." 😊
Shiba inu walking itself at 1:06
It looks so weird 😂
There’s a guy in the back it seems.
You can see it again at 6:00
@@altercaze looks like the inu is busy
@@altercazetaking a shit lol
As the owner of Shiba, it seems on brand.
It was interesting to see your reactions, Takashii. :D Sometimes you were so surprised and sometimes also very shy.
There was an interesting look-Takashii's eye and slight smile- while talking to the Russian woman. She only appeared at the beginning.
He also looked very guilty.
@@Naturalworldlives Yes- that is it- a guilty look!
I found this to be a very interesting video. Not just because it is about dating but because it presents women from different cultures and different countries. I enjoyed hearing from the American woman but also the Congolese and Australian. This captures not only the differences in how foreigners are treated, but also differences in perceptions about Japanese culture (chivalry, communication, exclusive partners).
As an American, I just can't understand how one could not express their feelings. How is that? How does one go about not expressing sadness, anger, happiness, joy, thankfulness, etc? I would never want to be around someone that leaves me wondering and guessing how they feel. That's just so creepy and stressful.
The language doesn't let you express feelings as easily
Falling in love it easy. When you are from different cultures, habits, points of view, social class, language, foods,… it can be quite daunting! I immigrated to America when i was on’y 2 yo. My husband is French. I thought we have very similar view on life. But after 19 years together, i realized that at high level we all want a home and a family but aren’t in the same place when come to the little details. I want to build a life and i was ready to make sacrifices to get to the goal. He already has a life here already and he wants to pursue a lifestyle.
Ahhh, the more things change.
I had a friend who was really bad at arriving on time, and even though I had to travel a lot further, I would always arrive on time and wait for her at the appointed spot near the Hachiko statue. Sometimes I would wait an hour. Usually in the ballpark of 20-30 minutes.
We didn’t have fancy smartphones back then (2003) so I would stand there and pretend to be very focused on writing an email so that I could plausibly ignore the men who inevitably approached me.
Don’t hang around Shibuya at night, but also try to have friends who don’t make you stand around Shibuya alone at night.
Awesome video as always Takashii.
11:19 Takashii was not ready to handle that topic 🤣
I used to work in shibuya, in a office jimusho as engineer. And yup I remember having seen young men achi kochi looking at girls when walking and stopping them for talking. Just now I understand what was that hehe. In my experience, I was very inlove with a Japanese guy, but he kind of made public that he wanted a partner with whom he could keep secrets from and that consider whatever he said as true without making problems… I was very inlove but I was not willing. Yup, the cheating thing is a serious matter there.
Do the foreign men next!! Please and love the videos
Great interviews! Very helpful for who wants to travel. Arigatou gozaimasu!!!
The colombianas are so intelligent about relationships!
Overall a lot of insight from these interviews, really entertaining. 😄
Only dating for novelty of westerner is common.
Unfortunate because the goth men here are hella hot.
Yep
“Not sponsored by Bumble or any other dating apps” 🤣🤣😭
Thank you for your video I really enjoyed it. It was very positive responses. I like your vibe
My husband is Japanese I’m American. My husband is actually more opened. While I’m the shy one 😂 I don’t like to go out with friends much. I also have a lot of anxiety. My husband been trying to help me with that. He is also taking care of my health. We are heading for are 2 year of marriage. We also dated for just 2 years before we got married. I felt like it was a bit rushed. But also know that he is the one for me.
We try to understand each other culture wise. It dose help with the relationship. The day he proposed to me was more of him asking if I want to marry him. I said yes. Then he gone out got a ring and set a day for the wedding. Then I told him how we Americans do it. Then he felt like he has to do it that way with the ring and I’m like your to cute 😂
He dose go out of his way taking care of me I have health problems and it scares him. Also he is gone a lot do to his job. Knowing I’m home alone. No family to come stay with me or anything. But he is there for me as much as he can and we love each other so much. ❤❤❤
There are times when he don’t understand English words and he needs to understand it because work. Then I’ll translate it for him. Then he is like ohhh thanks.
Other part. He don’t believe me that I need to wash my hair about every 3 days to a week. Even 3 days is pushing it. So I had him feel his hair at night and smell mine. He learn it did not stink. Was not slimy like his. Japanese hair gets greasy very fast. They need to wash their hair every day. This was my experience 😂 hope this helps
Such a sweet story! Happy for you. ❤
I think you are doing a great job with your channel. Really insightful ❤
I'm from MN myself and I just instantly knew 1:05 was before she even said it😂
oh yeah she was real minnesota, eh
@iamdmc nah it was just her face lmaooooo and mfer, we're not a bunch of hosers that say "eh" we say "yeah. Oh yeah you betcha" you're literally watching a cultural analysis video and can't even get that right? Geek.
She's pretty cute. Kind of strange she couldn't find a local guy. But maybe she likes to be different.
@@mediocreman2 She has pleasing, striking features, really beautiful eyes. Obviously she could have her pick of men, on the whole. But her clear insecurity regarding loyalty tells the story. I think a western white woman would perceive that east Asian men would be easier to lock down. Some others probably like the idea of being feitishized. She actually bears a noticeable resemblance to the "adult" star Melody Marks, an American who is popular in Japan, who btw has a long, really interesting interview you can find on YT regarding doing porn in Japan. The Minnesota girls is, from what I've seen, what Japanse guys like in Western women. Not surprised she's married.
@@NextExiterit is not considered insecurity in the US for a woman to expect her partner to be exclusive to them. It is considered being respectful to your partnership. Most US women expect equal partnership with their boyfriend/husband. There are, of course, all types of relationships in the US, but many couples consider showing any romantic or physical attraction to someone other than your partner is unacceptable. I would say especially a physical relationship with someone other than your partner is a dealbreaker most of the time in the US for both partners, men and women.
Love te video❤ nice to watch this after visiting Japan.
Ok. Old woman here. I went to Germany on a class trip in 1978 and our teacher warned us that German and Austrian men thought American women were “loose.” Aw. Poor deluded men. 😂
Very nice picks, both girls and stories :D
I'm really doubtful western people wait a couple of months before start dating. I think we jump into both dating and hook ups very fast nowadays, the only difference I see to Japanese culture is the official confession or question, whereas here there are not such rules or patterns, although I'm from eastern europe
I'm from Spain and I started dating my partner after 2 months of knowing each other. I guess it depends of the person.
It varies from person to person.
This is quite interesting and illuminating, thank you!
3:35 she said Suuuper Like Franky. I love it haha
9:15 very true. Especially they offen ghost you if you're a foreigner or a japanese person who never lived in japan before.
Do people not wear wedding rings in Japan? I noticed the American woman didn't have a ring on. Might be personal choice but I just wondered if it was a thing not to wear them in Japan.
Most likely because she did say there was issues with cheating on his part. She seemed VERY uncomfortable about the topic. She probably doesn’t wear it because of that..
I always wear my wedding ring every time I go outside the house in Tokyo except during my work because it’s not allowed.
I'm married and don't wear a ring. It's not obligatory to wear it. In my case, I don't wear any jewelry and rings feel very uncomfortable. I only wear it on special occasions.
Men, especially, don’t. Also, because of work. My over 75y MIL was like, oh, I lost my wedding ring at some point when the kids were small, can’t remember when and how.
Right!! I noticed this as well. And do they wear it on their right or left hand?? I know some who wear it as a necklace because it's bothersome. Kinda strange.
Hey Takashii. I always look forward to your videos. Keep it up! 💯❤️🤗😃
@ 11:19 Little worried about this girl's marriage if they're already having issues around this; hope things work out for her!
I was in the US Navy in the late 90s and stayed in japan for some time, then came back and stayed in Tokyo for 6 months and i was ASTOUNDED by how pervasive cheating was and how little they all cared about it. I did not expect that, for some reason. I must say that is one area where i much prefer my home culture's viewpoint.
All that is hella great advice! Thanks for this video.
1:40 Takashi when she says it was interesting:
Awesome video, thank you. I would say, don't judge, understand the culture and communicate. Remember that Japanese people are kind and respect.
Nice interviews mate!
Every time I see a video about Japanese social habits, it reminds me of Canada.
Excellent video Takashii ! So very interesting.
The girl from the Congo lived the longest in Japan. Everyone else was 2yrs or less. I feel like thats not enough time to collect a lot of data on it 😂😅
Excellent video!
It’s very funny that my husband and I are both American and we have had a very similar relationship experience 😅 my husband asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date/time hanging out. He doesn’t really speak his feelings, but it shows in his actions. It could be that we’re very “old souls” or traditional. I’m currently learning how to speak Japanese because it’s been a goal for us to have our late honeymoon in Japan ❤️
Yeah. I like this way and I can understand it. Why waste time, when you know, you know.
Another thing to add, there might be a lot more guys open to dating foreigners than guys who are interested in marrying one.
it was fairly interesting, you got chances to interview so many foreigners in the country.
Congo girl speaking English with French accent is so kawaii~ 🧡
From my dating experience in Tokyo the bumble experience was terrible lol but the girls I went on a date with that I met in real life were some of the most fun and genuine connections aside from the language barrier and us trying really hard to communicate 😂 it was a fun time
very nice to see different experiences and answers from people from various countries. thanks for the video again, Takashi!
but damn no offence to the American girl that has been dating for almost 2 years and married for almost 1 year...i was pretty surprised as that's pretty quick for me at least and she seems to be young as well. Listening to her answers, it seems that there's a lot of things that still had to be sorted out before going in but once again, i'm not the one to judge! hope the best for here and everyone in the video!
I agree that communication was a little bit of a problem in my experience. Other than that, I had great experiences and lived in Tokyo for 6 years. My fiance was from shikoku and he was a really great person. My only complaint is that I would have liked more communication as well as understanding, and maybe that is one reason that led to me feeling off in our relationship and led to our breakup. I was also young and immature. Also, I can converse in japanese and he does speak English.
But I would communicate the hell out of our relationship girl. But it doesn't matter. You'll still make bad choices in relationships instead.
Interesting video.👍 Thanks for posting.
They do the same quick "in love" responses online as well. And they always want to be with you. Personal time within the relationship doesn't exist.
I'm also from a country where we say I love you rather quickly from a foreigner perspective. But we don't literally mean that we totally "love you from the bottom of the heart, less go have babies" or something. It's just awkward language for "let's begin the steps for forming an exclusive relationship".
@samuraijosh1595 oh wow that is wild!! Because that lowers the value of the word. I just say "friends with benefits" and keep it moving. Hahahaha I am being honest with them. "Love" in essence should have heavy value. It means I am willing to take your crazy and mine together...I ain't ready for that after like "3rd date".
@@namastewoke5197 no it's just a misuse of the original English slang for dating that's adopted in their language. It doesn't lower the value of a date to "3rd" rate because it's just using the wrong diction to express an idea. That's about it. I'm surprised Takashi didn't push back on this to explain it.
My husband and I said it very quickly as well, about a month into our relationship. I think it just depends on the people as well as how deeply you feel the connection. I knew I loved my husband after our first date BUT I didn’t dare say it lol 😂