Richard Nixon - "I'm not a crook"

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  • Опубліковано 14 лип 2009
  • November 17, 1973

КОМЕНТАРІ • 8 тис.

  • @utopiaa_1775
    @utopiaa_1775 4 місяці тому +10030

    i’m-i’m-i’m-i’m-i’m i’m not a crook-crook

    • @this.iszoha_
      @this.iszoha_ 4 місяці тому +608

      THIEVING, STEALING, TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS- TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS- TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS :3

    • @kadenandthespiderok663
      @kadenandthespiderok663 4 місяці тому +172

      TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

    • @valorreii
      @valorreii 4 місяці тому +119

      that’s the only reason I’m here ngl

    • @CiannasTravelDiaries
      @CiannasTravelDiaries 4 місяці тому +70

      @@kadenandthespiderok663I don’t really know if she cares or not, all I know is she left a lot of stuff in my apartment. She’s never getting back.

    • @BlueDolphinAnimates
      @BlueDolphinAnimates 3 місяці тому +18

      Im-im-im-im-im not a- not a crook

  • @charis6438
    @charis6438 4 місяці тому +7589

    thieving, stealing, taking what’s not yours 🗣️🗣️

    • @goombamoomba
      @goombamoomba 4 місяці тому +111

      i-i-i-i-i i'm not a crook

    • @shaner_manerzz6644
      @shaner_manerzz6644 4 місяці тому +12

      REAL

    • @veronicablack2533
      @veronicablack2533 3 місяці тому +35

      she's never getting back‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

    • @Dreaming_404
      @Dreaming_404 3 місяці тому +28

      And as the smell on my pillow fades ⁉️⁉️

    • @strangefella27
      @strangefella27 3 місяці тому +23

      Her cigarettes might stay 🗣️🔥🔥🔥

  • @oktusprime3637
    @oktusprime3637 Рік тому +2967

    This man is so easy to read.
    Nixon: I'm not a book.

    • @ps4nowwoot972
      @ps4nowwoot972 9 місяців тому +10

      😂😂

    • @theorixlux2605
      @theorixlux2605 3 місяці тому +13

      This man is so easy to hire in the kitchen
      Nixon: I'm not a cook

    • @theorixlux2605
      @theorixlux2605 3 місяці тому +5

      This man is so easy to spot in star wars
      Nixon: I'm not an ewok

    • @theorixlux2605
      @theorixlux2605 3 місяці тому

      This man is so easy to place in a chicken coop
      Nixon: I'm not a cock

    • @theorixlux2605
      @theorixlux2605 3 місяці тому +3

      This man is so easy to moore a boat to
      Nixon: I'm not a dock

  • @TheWorldsStage
    @TheWorldsStage 11 місяців тому +8760

    I just can't believe this was the first and last time a politician had ever lied to the public. Such a shameful moment

    • @InsideOutAnus
      @InsideOutAnus 11 місяців тому

      underrated comment

    • @-James-A
      @-James-A 11 місяців тому +151

      You, my friend, are a legend! Haha

    • @pineconesnowstorm
      @pineconesnowstorm 11 місяців тому +254

      Well, at least he was held somewhat accountable for his actions. Hopefully we can continue that path.

    • @jonahh2829
      @jonahh2829 11 місяців тому

      ​@pineconesnowstorm not really, the following administration pardoned him. Plus if anyone else did what he did they would be charged with treason.

    • @brandoncortezemmanuel357
      @brandoncortezemmanuel357 11 місяців тому +77

      @@pineconesnowstormHopefully we can get the current president to be truthful for once.

  • @death4metal201
    @death4metal201 Рік тому +5150

    Greatest speech ever along with "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

    • @RubbishKunce
      @RubbishKunce Рік тому

      Haah, yeah. *Weapons of Mass Destruction*

    • @scoutman
      @scoutman Рік тому +35

      Both democrats

    • @antonimartinez9961
      @antonimartinez9961 Рік тому +1

      ​@v Trexler so what? Nixon's ideals do not align with the modern democratic party. He'd be a republican today.

    • @wmadd7181
      @wmadd7181 Рік тому +326

      ​@@scoutman lmao what

    • @69420dicks
      @69420dicks Рік тому +1

      @@scoutman bro what?
      bill clinton was a democrat, and nixon was FAR, FAR from being one.

  • @clyde5450
    @clyde5450 3 роки тому +19929

    “Mr. President, can you make me some eggs and bacon?”
    “I am not a cook”

  • @S1lenttruth
    @S1lenttruth 5 місяців тому +2054

    "I-I-I-Im Not a- not a crook"

    • @CaymenEditz
      @CaymenEditz 3 місяці тому

      THIEVING STEALING TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

    • @chopparowel6215
      @chopparowel6215 2 місяці тому +25

      Thevin stealing taking what's not yours taking what's not your that's thevin taking what's not your

    • @zombiefuvker
      @zombiefuvker Місяць тому +2

      ​@@chopparowel6215I DONT REALLY KNOW IF SHE KNOWS OR NOT

    • @girlleavemealone--
      @girlleavemealone-- Місяць тому +2

      ​@@zombiefuvker BUT I LEFT SOME STUFF IN HER JEWELRY BOX

    • @zombiefuvker
      @zombiefuvker Місяць тому +2

      @@girlleavemealone-- AND SHES WEARING OUT MY RINGS

  • @kin-ra0626
    @kin-ra0626 4 місяці тому +750

    tv girl was so random for using this😭

    • @gummieowo
      @gummieowo 4 місяці тому +9

      fr

    • @lorietherizzler
      @lorietherizzler 3 місяці тому +78

      well not rlly 😭
      The song is litch called Taking What's Not Yours and "I'm not a crook" somehow fit

    • @goober_toober909
      @goober_toober909 3 місяці тому +6

      TV girl sucks

    • @lorietherizzler
      @lorietherizzler 3 місяці тому +69

      @@goober_toober909 im starting to get the conclusion that you don't like TV Girl

    • @kin-ra0626
      @kin-ra0626 3 місяці тому +23

      @@goober_toober909 wrap it up..

  • @77mxb1
    @77mxb1 3 роки тому +10056

    “Mr. President, are you scared of crocodiles?”
    “I am not Captain Hook”

  • @matthewposton3243
    @matthewposton3243 3 роки тому +8830

    “Mr President, will you turn over a new leaf?”
    “I am not a book”

    • @carter87.86
      @carter87.86 3 роки тому +16

      Wouldn't the person turning over a new leaf be a person, and not a book, since the book is what you are turning, do better next time cmon this isn't amateur hour

    • @danielhaslam5179
      @danielhaslam5179 3 роки тому +44

      @@carter87.86 All 323 people who were in the same room laughing at that joke have now left in silence.

    • @carter87.86
      @carter87.86 3 роки тому +3

      @@danielhaslam5179 damn thats crazy

    • @tremendousyeet3467
      @tremendousyeet3467 3 роки тому +8

      😂👈😂👏😂👈😂👏😂
      i don't know what the hell is up with the three comments above me. I'll just set this thread back on track and give this golden joke the 😂 it deserves.

    • @CaliJose209
      @CaliJose209 3 роки тому

      @@danielhaslam5179 I came back in laughing 😂

  • @Madzillahx
    @Madzillahx 3 місяці тому +752

    WE'RE TAKING WHAT'S NOT OURS BACK WITH THIS ONE 🗣💯🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @thegreenerly
    @thegreenerly 4 місяці тому +425

    "I am not a crook."
    "I- I- I- I- I- I'm not a crook- crook."

    • @elsky_els
      @elsky_els 3 місяці тому +15

      THIEVING‼️‼️‼️
      STEALING‼️‼️‼️
      TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

  • @Caine61
    @Caine61 8 років тому +20639

    "Hey Nixon are you able to move in a straight line on a chessboard?"
    "I am not a rook."

    • @Caine61
      @Caine61 8 років тому +28

      ***** A weapon to surpass metal gear...

    • @tavymcsavy
      @tavymcsavy 8 років тому +244

      "Hey Nixon why don't you volunteer at the local library?"
      "I am not a book"

    • @TonyDiaz.
      @TonyDiaz. 7 років тому +14

      Hey Nixon, will you be developing a virus that infects vocal cords?
      I'm not a Skull... Whooooooo?!

    • @TStamp-lw4ku
      @TStamp-lw4ku 5 років тому +3

      Lord Ignis Destroyer of Thots I do t know what a rook is but it still gave me a good laugh

    • @anastasia2657
      @anastasia2657 5 років тому +1

      What did Nixon do? He lied to the American peo[le about knowing about the burglary AFTER the fact of the burglary. It has been proven that he did not know about the burglary before it happened, or while it was happening. How many Presidents do you know who lied to the American people. Any? "Your boys will not fight in foreign wars." (FDR while provoking the Japanese to attack). . "Read mylips. No new taxes." (Bush). "Listen to me. I never had sex with that woman.(he repeated this lie under oath in a legal proceeding) (Clinton)' "I'll never lie to ya" (Carter); Ford's many lies are recorded here: www.thecrimson.com/article/1976/10/30/the-pathetic-lie-of-jerry-ford/, "They have weapons of mass destruction" (Bush) (killing how many American servicemen? We don't know because they won't tell us). None of these people got impeached.

  • @9yearolduserfriendly138
    @9yearolduserfriendly138 3 роки тому +11364

    "Sounds like someone breaking in" - Nixon being attacked by the undead in the Pentagon.

    • @ion_power1238
      @ion_power1238 3 роки тому +585

      Finally someone caring to reference actual relevant quotes

    • @citywick9368
      @citywick9368 3 роки тому +895

      ''just the storm dick...sit down''

    • @willowandluka5302
      @willowandluka5302 3 роки тому +524

      “Do not pray for easy lives, gentleman. Pray to be stronger men.”
      JFK

    • @cheese9290
      @cheese9290 3 роки тому +253

      And why is he here?! You lost!

    • @grizscrumptious2868
      @grizscrumptious2868 3 роки тому +76

      Good ol' Five.

  • @leandoershawty1996
    @leandoershawty1996 4 місяці тому +154

    “You know where to find me, and I know where to look.”

    • @lorietherizzler
      @lorietherizzler 3 місяці тому +6

      thievin, stealin' taking what's not yours🗣️🗣️

    • @goober_toober909
      @goober_toober909 3 місяці тому +5

      TV GIRL SUCKS

    • @lorietherizzler
      @lorietherizzler 3 місяці тому +3

      @@goober_toober909 Ok

    • @leandoershawty1996
      @leandoershawty1996 2 місяці тому +1

      @@goober_toober909 did I ask tho?

    • @cloverp
      @cloverp 2 місяці тому

      @@goober_toober909listen i dont like tv girl either but can you shut up omg 😭

  • @thaneofwhiterun3562
    @thaneofwhiterun3562 10 місяців тому +87

    "I am not a cook, I've ordered every meal I've eaten."

    • @Pboros-mz3rc
      @Pboros-mz3rc 5 днів тому

      Nixon is not a crook they framed him I love Nixon and trust him he was a honest caring president not like trump

  • @nickitysplit1232
    @nickitysplit1232 3 роки тому +14327

    Fun fact: This speech took place at Disney World.

    • @andrewjun3835
      @andrewjun3835 3 роки тому +289

      Wait. For rea

    • @andrewjun3835
      @andrewjun3835 3 роки тому +404

      Sorry typo. For real? In Disney land?

    • @madebyshiny
      @madebyshiny 3 роки тому +1128

      @@andrewjun3835 yep at Disney's Contemporary Resort in Florida

    • @dakdak3331
      @dakdak3331 3 роки тому +80

      @@madebyshiny sure did

    • @claytong2069
      @claytong2069 3 роки тому +53

      Not fun

  • @commentpolice4694
    @commentpolice4694 3 роки тому +6120

    “Mr President did you feel that earthquake?”
    “I am not ashook”

    • @jaredallen1950
      @jaredallen1950 3 роки тому +22

      Best one yet!!!😂😂😂😂

    • @smallfry7304
      @smallfry7304 3 роки тому +3

      underrated

    • @miraclewolf2760
      @miraclewolf2760 3 роки тому +2

      Brilliant

    • @zoomerjack5435
      @zoomerjack5435 3 роки тому +3

      Ironic since Nixon was from California

    • @quasar960
      @quasar960 3 роки тому +2

      Mr president why did you burn the steaks
      President: I am not a cook!

  • @floris.927
    @floris.927 Рік тому +176

    “I’m not a Cook. I’ve Burned everything I got.”
    Facts.

  • @heyimgalaxy
    @heyimgalaxy 4 місяці тому +50

    yk they should put this into a song

    • @Mani-fd7tx
      @Mani-fd7tx 4 місяці тому +1

      ikr

    • @shots-o-shorts7939
      @shots-o-shorts7939 2 місяці тому +1

      "I'm not a crook 🗣🗣"

    • @maxmeepmeep991
      @maxmeepmeep991 Місяць тому +2

      0:26

    • @Pboros-mz3rc
      @Pboros-mz3rc 5 днів тому

      I love how people are joking about this he was framed for god sakes and I would have him as president over trump any day

  • @thesupersaiyanginger132
    @thesupersaiyanginger132 3 роки тому +7544

    I like how nobody is bringing up that this was done at Walt Disney World

    • @_DrMemes
      @_DrMemes 3 роки тому +287

      Bruh

    • @linkfromzelda1002
      @linkfromzelda1002 3 роки тому +270

      What?

    • @dennisvelez9846
      @dennisvelez9846 3 роки тому +648

      This was at the Contemporary Resort’s ballroom at Walt Disney World, surprisingly enough

    • @ally939
      @ally939 3 роки тому +143

      I can’t believe I didn’t know that until now, and I’m so glad that I do know that now

    • @splorgify
      @splorgify 3 роки тому +170

      Learning that, don’t we all want Mickey to pop in at the end and say “that’s all folks” as that’s looney tunes and he’s a silly mouse getting involved in politics.

  • @_allyzinhofeiop
    @_allyzinhofeiop Рік тому +48

    "I'm not a crook."
    THAT'S THIEVIN'!, STEALIN',
    TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS!

  • @stucq
    @stucq 3 місяці тому +22

    "Mr. President, will you move forwards or sideways in a straight line"
    "I'm not a rook"

  • @MattExzy
    @MattExzy 2 роки тому +5563

    I never noticed how accurate The Simpsons and Futurama actually nailed Nixon's mannerisms.

    • @ricky18redblack31
      @ricky18redblack31 2 роки тому +221

      Arroooo

    • @arseface2k934
      @arseface2k934 Рік тому +152

      that jowel movement when he says "I've earned" is incredible

    • @Hithere-uz6wd
      @Hithere-uz6wd Рік тому +17

      Futurama depicted him as a terrible president, was he really that bad?

    • @arseface2k934
      @arseface2k934 Рік тому +1

      @@Hithere-uz6wd he's widely regarded as one of the worst, but he has plenty of supporters too. his corruption and heel-dragging on vietnam are what nixon are remembered by, overshadowing some of the better things he did like founding the EPA or building relations with China. his longest lasting legacy is probably his war on drugs, which is still in place and after 50 years is proven ineffective to say the least.

    • @aquamidideluxe5079
      @aquamidideluxe5079 Рік тому +86

      Matt Groening is old enough to remember Nixon and hate him accordingly

  • @ethanturrano5599
    @ethanturrano5599 3 роки тому +3816

    “Hey Nixon can you help me with this e-reader?”
    “I am not a nook”

    • @nikzen9073
      @nikzen9073 3 роки тому +1

      Bruh idk what it means, but someone just liked my comment on the Shia video (where your pfp is from). It popped up on my notifications as I scrolled passed your comment o_O

    • @danielmatthews12312
      @danielmatthews12312 3 роки тому +29

      this joke references ancient artifacts unheard of by most alive today

    • @YugiMomo
      @YugiMomo 3 роки тому +9

      "well then can I flip through you after reading 2-4 paragraphs of text"
      "I am not a book, either"

    • @neildegrassetysonwithaknif7124
      @neildegrassetysonwithaknif7124 3 роки тому +6

      @@danielmatthews12312 bruuuhhhhhhhh I used to have a nook

    • @ThePaperKhan
      @ThePaperKhan 3 роки тому +1

      Bruh

  • @dumpsta-divrr365
    @dumpsta-divrr365 11 місяців тому +252

    This man really dropped the "i did everything right and they indicted meeee" of his generation, gotta respect that

    • @Nexus1-n9r
      @Nexus1-n9r 8 місяців тому +17

      At least when he did it, it came off as appearing somewhat more dignified, intelligent and sophisticated.

    • @santividal9387
      @santividal9387 8 місяців тому

      Even corrupt politicians were more elegant and sophisticated back then. Now they're all like babys. Everyone trying to look cooler than the other...

  • @L_back
    @L_back 11 місяців тому +12

    “Hey Nixon are you a talented writer?”
    “I didn’t write a book.”

  • @mitchellmilarck6600
    @mitchellmilarck6600 3 роки тому +4908

    “Hey Nixon can you sear these clams for me?”
    “I am not a cook.”

    • @liberator101
      @liberator101 3 роки тому +7

      Ahhahahahhahahahahaha, great one.

    • @VeN0m88
      @VeN0m88 3 роки тому +2

      YAN CAN COOK , SO CAN YOU !

    • @scottiep7216
      @scottiep7216 3 роки тому +17

      I bought every food ive eaten
      -Nixon

    • @wattson451
      @wattson451 3 роки тому +6

      “You’re not the president either, DONKEY”
      - Gordon Ramsay

    • @biodtox
      @biodtox 3 роки тому +6

      Seared clams old Nixon recipe

  • @supermario0527
    @supermario0527 3 роки тому +8226

    "Hey Nixon, can you understand what Chewbacca's saying?"
    "I am not a Wook."

  • @_robtherodent_
    @_robtherodent_ 3 місяці тому +9

    "i-i-i-i-i'm, not a-not a crook-crook!" 🗣️🔥🔥‼️

  • @NikoChristianWallenberg
    @NikoChristianWallenberg Місяць тому +19

    Trump makes Nixon look honest.

  • @potatobird52
    @potatobird52 3 роки тому +4458

    “Mr. President, I’m feeling kinda sad.”
    “I don’t give a fook.”

  • @Pizza793
    @Pizza793 3 роки тому +5462

    “Mr president, are you invading the privacy of the American people?”
    “I am not facebook”

  • @noahwain2308
    @noahwain2308 5 місяців тому +29

    YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME

    • @kaileylindsey3654
      @kaileylindsey3654 5 місяців тому +9

      AND I KNOW WHERE TO LOOK!!!!

    • @Yeezieez
      @Yeezieez 5 місяців тому +8

      I I I AM NOT A CROOK!!

    • @razkrispies
      @razkrispies 5 місяців тому +3

      THIEVIN' STEALIN' TAKIN' WHAT'S NOT YOURS

    • @memetea3491
      @memetea3491 5 місяців тому +2

      TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

    • @wahitsoctavia
      @wahitsoctavia 4 місяці тому +1

      THATS THIEVIN STEALIN

  • @Adorned-Gambit-44
    @Adorned-Gambit-44 3 місяці тому +4

    “Mr. President, did you know today is November 17 on the calendar”
    “I didn’t look . . .”

  • @yonkotres
    @yonkotres 7 років тому +4962

    He sounds nothing like he does in the 3000s

    • @misseli922
      @misseli922 7 років тому +137

      Tres Waddell 0:31 sounded a lot like he does in futurama xD

    • @clowntrooper61
      @clowntrooper61 7 років тому +68

      IKR. He doesn't sound anything like the one from black ops zombies either. It was such a surprise to hear his real voice

    • @krombopulousmichael8292
      @krombopulousmichael8292 7 років тому +52

      sick'em Agnew!

    • @Azurepeahen
      @Azurepeahen 7 років тому +43

      they exaggerate him

    • @TheDeagster877
      @TheDeagster877 7 років тому +15

      Dank Crusade AROOO

  • @Trifecta_Sports
    @Trifecta_Sports 3 роки тому +5440

    “Mr. President are you into poetry?”
    “I can’t come up with a rhyme”

    • @Damsel_In_Distress_528
      @Damsel_In_Distress_528 3 роки тому +220

      .. at this time"*

    • @Al-hb6uj
      @Al-hb6uj 3 роки тому +8

      Oh noooo

    • @ciaotiziocaius4899
      @ciaotiziocaius4899 3 роки тому +7

      @@Damsel_In_Distress_528 funniest

    • @adrianafamilymember6427
      @adrianafamilymember6427 3 роки тому +6

      @@Damsel_In_Distress_528 Ey,
      ...
      *FOOK* U then
      ....
      That is what a treacherous crook or -A FOOK'IN DOOKIE- would do/say

    • @Damsel_In_Distress_528
      @Damsel_In_Distress_528 3 роки тому +13

      @@adrianafamilymember6427
      "Fook" Rhymes with "Book."
      【Read this in an overly eccentric/ emotional jester like voice】
      Funny, would you take a look, it seems I just snook another Rhyme from mine neverending book of Rhymes.. in which I conveniently have the time... to commit such a crime as absurd as telling Rhymes, but please..
      don't be mistook and judge me by how I may look...
      For I promise you that
      I
      Am
      Not
      A
      Crook
      Well... I suppose there was a time.. YES, a time where I didn't always Rhyme., and once upon this time I may have stole a book or two from one of my own crew.. due too a bet I lost over a challenge to cook the greatest *FONDUE!!!!....* Though my fondue was not sublime, I had to deal with a sue for the books I stole *"From Who?, They Were Never Even Used!"* I never meant to commit a crime, I just wanted to have some words to read for that is how I loved to spend mine downtime.
      But it seems now I've gotten myself stuck into a bit of a lime that I will have to burden until the end of time, but I say..
      I'm am not a Crook...
      I'm just ought but a helpless poet with the dream to be your cook if you'd only ring that bell for me to hear that chime...
      the closest sound
      to complete my neverending Rhymes.

  • @kevinrooney3351
    @kevinrooney3351 19 днів тому +5

    "I am not a crook by today's standards."
    Thanks, John Roberts.

  • @Bludgeta9001
    @Bludgeta9001 11 місяців тому +85

    Compared to modern day politicians, Nixon is a Saint

    • @Yatagurusu
      @Yatagurusu 8 місяців тому

      No he isnt, he still directly sabotages vietnam and gets 60K americans killed and 2 million vietnamese

    • @AJ-pc9gu
      @AJ-pc9gu 7 місяців тому +11

      tell that to indochina

    • @VapeEscape
      @VapeEscape 6 місяців тому

      He started inflation by inflating the price of gold like a balloon. The economy was stable from WW2 until he got in office. The price of gold was 35 an ounce for 30 years. We had a great economy until he ruined it, He is pure corruption. Put 35 from January 1971 in an inflation calculator and you get 270 not 2052.

    • @lekevire
      @lekevire 6 місяців тому +11

      tell that to sinoindia

    • @Rip-Tyro
      @Rip-Tyro 3 місяці тому +11

      Tell that to Bangladesh

  • @laughslapproductions4690
    @laughslapproductions4690 3 роки тому +3576

    “Hey Nixon, can we go swimming now?”
    “I am not a Brook.”

  • @Rockbullet-su9go
    @Rockbullet-su9go 19 днів тому +8

    SUPREME COURT RULED HIM NOT A CROOK LET'S FUCKING GO!!!!!

    • @ktheone6000
      @ktheone6000 19 днів тому +2

      TOTAL MILLHOUSE VICTORY

  • @LateNightHalo
    @LateNightHalo Рік тому +92

    Decades later we have trump’s “I’m an innocent man! The most innocent man that ever was!”

    • @KyleShiflet13666
      @KyleShiflet13666 Рік тому +16

      Trump is just Nixon 2.0

    • @julianbufarull7602
      @julianbufarull7602 Рік тому +20

      Trump is like Nixon if he never read a book.

    • @-James-A
      @-James-A 11 місяців тому

      So you retards are gonna ignore virtually every other corrupt/murderous president ever because Pedowood say Trump bad?
      They're all crooks and war mongers.

    • @JohnGardnerAlhadis
      @JohnGardnerAlhadis 11 місяців тому +14

      "i dID eVeRyTHiNg rIgHt aNd tHeY iNdIcTeD mE"

    • @PrivateerJimmy
      @PrivateerJimmy 11 місяців тому

      ​@@julianbufarull7602wow😂

  • @joyduh
    @joyduh 3 роки тому +2298

    “Mr. President, can I draw something on you?”
    “I am not a sketchbook”

  • @A-G-A-G
    @A-G-A-G 3 роки тому +4188

    Nixon “I’m not a crook”
    Narrator: “he was definitely a crook”

    • @reillymcwriting
      @reillymcwriting 3 роки тому +101

      “He was.”
      And now the story of the family who lost everything, and the son who has to bring them back together.

    • @smokingthereefer92
      @smokingthereefer92 2 роки тому +79

      Nixon: "I am not a crook"
      Morgan Freeman: And as the powers came to be,Mr Nixon or Dick as I call him,was indeed a crook!

    • @paulblartmemecop7218
      @paulblartmemecop7218 2 роки тому +38

      Title card: “He was definitely a crook.”

    • @chiefbeef6251
      @chiefbeef6251 2 роки тому +11

      I read that in a Morgan Freeman voice

    • @smileysatanson3404
      @smileysatanson3404 2 роки тому +13

      ''im not a crook''
      thats exactly what a crook would say

  • @akayysworld
    @akayysworld 20 днів тому +10

    Technically his isnt now due to the scotus ruling

  • @definitelynotthequestion5359
    @definitelynotthequestion5359 11 місяців тому +13

    He said that joke so convincingly.
    True comedian.

  • @justinian-the-great
    @justinian-the-great 3 роки тому +1472

    'I did not had crook relations with that woman, Mrs. Watergate!"

    • @Jenkowelten
      @Jenkowelten 3 роки тому +28

      Thanks for the underated comment, Justinian the great

    • @capybara9069
      @capybara9069 3 роки тому +8

      Underrated comment

    • @g.w.f.212
      @g.w.f.212 3 роки тому +15

      lol it’s a 2 in 1 special

    • @Colinop
      @Colinop 3 роки тому +9

      exactly, they should've read. his. lips

    • @chernovbrichtofen4767
      @chernovbrichtofen4767 3 роки тому +11

      Richard Clinton

  • @DumboSanchez
    @DumboSanchez 8 років тому +2441

    Clinton: Hey will you help me catch this fish?
    Nixon: I am not a hook.

  • @felphero
    @felphero 5 місяців тому +5

    This phrase has the same effect as "Hey, DON'T think of a red apple"

  • @Mike--Oxmall
    @Mike--Oxmall 11 місяців тому +4

    "Mr President can tou tell us about your memoirs?"
    "I never wrote a book"

  • @MCO18
    @MCO18  10 років тому +5826

    Clinton: This burger tastes horrible. Nixon!
    Nixon: I am not a cook.

    • @nelsonroscoe2225
      @nelsonroscoe2225 10 років тому +109

      You just made my life.

    • @Holmarn-
      @Holmarn- 9 років тому +2

      explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Matt/lame-joke-alert.png

    • @frannyzooey11
      @frannyzooey11 9 років тому

      un uh ?

    • @jedihunter176
      @jedihunter176 9 років тому +77

      Richard Nixon in the library: I am not a book.

    • @MoronicAcid1
      @MoronicAcid1 9 років тому +42

      ***** Richard Nixon at Barnes & Noble: I am not a nook.

  • @Roobong
    @Roobong 3 роки тому +1790

    "Mr president, would you like to fly with me?"
    "I am not a chinook."

  • @Batben01
    @Batben01 2 місяці тому +2

    "Mr. President, what is it with your weird fascination with Ketchup and Cottage Cheese?"
    "I'm not a cook"

  • @frank___
    @frank___ 3 роки тому +1583

    "I'm not a crook." The crook said calmly.

    • @TheStopShort
      @TheStopShort Рік тому +52

      “RICHARD! DID YA PUT YER NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE RICHARD?!”

    • @reneauvray3440
      @reneauvray3440 Рік тому +4

      Where is the part he said, "I screwed everything up.?"

    • @ash_11117
      @ash_11117 Рік тому +8

      Watergate wasn’t his fault, the only bad thing he did was trying to cover it up.

    • @Pyxlean
      @Pyxlean Рік тому +23

      ​@@ash_11117 He was likely aware of the Watergate break-in. Why else would he try to cover it up?

    • @ash_11117
      @ash_11117 Рік тому +3

      @@Pyxlean to keep his associates from getting in trouble

  • @couldbeanybody2508
    @couldbeanybody2508 3 роки тому +5045

    "Hey Mr. Nixon can you fend off multiple armies of German mechanized forces in a urban-desert terrain?"
    "I am not Tobruk."

    • @EliGutie
      @EliGutie 3 роки тому +62

      Underrated comment 10/10

    • @Balmung115
      @Balmung115 3 роки тому +33

      I laughed way too hard at this. Thank you!

    • @balkanmapping9934
      @balkanmapping9934 3 роки тому +22

      You mean one Italo-German army that had only 4 mobile divisions, with the rest being pure foot infantry.

    • @johnpaulabocad6941
      @johnpaulabocad6941 3 роки тому +11

      @@balkanmapping9934 They have a Rommel

    • @A-G-A-G
      @A-G-A-G 3 роки тому

      Damn that’s a good one

  • @tl3139
    @tl3139 10 місяців тому +4

    "I'm not a crook" = "This is a witch hunt."

  • @jusweard
    @jusweard 4 місяці тому +2

    "Hey could you put down some shield plates for the team"
    "i am not rook"

  • @somekid538
    @somekid538 3 роки тому +5114

    Morgan Freeman voice: "But he was a crook."
    I know it's cringe to edit comments but please don't go to replies. It's clear to me now that Nixonites can't take a joke. Now stop arguing over Dick's legacy please. It's unsightly.

    • @justsomeguy1691
      @justsomeguy1691 3 роки тому +80

      Underrated comment

    • @fireeye6762
      @fireeye6762 3 роки тому +81

      Honestly didn’t expect to have to scroll down this much to see this comment

    • @crypto2633
      @crypto2633 3 роки тому +1

      0.0

    • @rads2361
      @rads2361 3 роки тому +14

      I can hear that in my head.

    • @gavinknill5346
      @gavinknill5346 3 роки тому +81

      morgan freeman voice as slow montage of pictures of Nixon with piano music plays “shortly after, watergate was completely uncovered and Nixon resigned before he could be impeached, and it looks like this is where Mr. Nixon’s story, at least in politics, comes to an end”

  • @richardnixon2608
    @richardnixon2608 10 років тому +2490

    Aroo.

    • @nesnerd8361
      @nesnerd8361 5 років тому +45

      Nixon I love u!!! I legit have a picture of u on my door!

    • @nesnerd8361
      @nesnerd8361 5 років тому +18

      Hurray hurray what will Nixon say today

    • @cliffrayner3013
      @cliffrayner3013 3 роки тому +16

      Dude you watch UA-cam on the afterlife? How Washington doing?

    • @Jaydog11
      @Jaydog11 3 роки тому +20

      It just a storm Dick sit down

    • @guzzledgumps2322
      @guzzledgumps2322 3 роки тому +9

      Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. IMNOTACROOK!

  • @369damnimfine5
    @369damnimfine5 9 місяців тому +4

    "Mr. President, why is it so hard to read your true intentions?
    "I am not a book!"

  • @thatrailwaykid6624
    @thatrailwaykid6624 5 місяців тому +4

    "You know where to find me, and I know where to look"

  • @williamgregory1848
    @williamgregory1848 Рік тому +2569

    Nixon: “Well I’m not a crook.”
    My grandfather: “You lying bastard!”

    • @jackkennedy70
      @jackkennedy70 Рік тому +27

      Lets Go Brandon

    • @AndrewDixon69
      @AndrewDixon69 Рік тому +15

      Let's Go TRUMP!

    • @KyleShiflet13666
      @KyleShiflet13666 Рік тому +81

      @@jackkennedy70 trump is just Nixon 2.0

    • @jackkennedy70
      @jackkennedy70 Рік тому

      @@KyleShiflet13666 Really, I don't recall Nixon ever putting America 1st or creating jobs for people so they can pay their mortgages and keep food on the table like what Trump did. Now Joe Biden he's the devil

    • @diegobarbosa7529
      @diegobarbosa7529 Рік тому +20

      @@KyleShiflet13666 aside from watergate Nixon was one of the most accomplished presidents you guys had so that would be a compliment knowing that basically everyone in politics is corrupt.

  • @warpingtoaster7972
    @warpingtoaster7972 9 місяців тому +3

    Hank: "Walter Hartwell White you are under arrest"
    Walter White: "I am not a cook."

  • @noahhastings6145
    @noahhastings6145 3 роки тому +509

    "Mr. President, are you goofy's laugh?"
    "I am not a hyuk-hyuk-hyuk."

    • @tylerkochman1007
      @tylerkochman1007 2 роки тому +9

      This event was at Disney World, incidentally

    • @hyperion3145
      @hyperion3145 Рік тому +2

      Nixon doing the Goofy laugh would be nightmare fuel

    • @specialaccount7631
      @specialaccount7631 Рік тому

      such a dumb joke but i still laugh 😂

  • @nevize6660
    @nevize6660 3 роки тому +808

    "Mr president are you the capital of Greenland?"
    "I am not a Nuuk"

  • @Kerplunk_
    @Kerplunk_ 4 місяці тому +6

    it’s called Thievin’ stealin’ taking what’s not yours
    (I hope you get it)

  • @ThomasWilliams89
    @ThomasWilliams89 10 місяців тому +5

    ah, so this is why the guy in Point Break says, "I'm not a crook" when he had the Nixon mask on.

  • @parker4914
    @parker4914 3 роки тому +889

    “Mr president, can I borrow some money?”
    “I am not a checkbook”

    • @big_sea
      @big_sea Рік тому +4

      “Mr president, can you provide covering fire from the air?”
      “I’m not a chinook”

    • @MadmanGoneMad2012
      @MadmanGoneMad2012 Рік тому

      "Can't find my checkbook. Hope you won't mind i pay you in change."

  • @acoop7959
    @acoop7959 3 роки тому +1165

    Richard Nixon: I am not a crook.
    Narrator: He was, in fact, a crook.

    • @lentisdophlu5357
      @lentisdophlu5357 3 роки тому +13

      Adam Coop Actually, he wasn’t. He did some really bad stuff but he never stole money.

    • @-actualgoodcontent-4795
      @-actualgoodcontent-4795 3 роки тому +97

      @@lentisdophlu5357 so you have to steal money in order to be considered a crook???

    • @lentisdophlu5357
      @lentisdophlu5357 3 роки тому +16

      @@-actualgoodcontent-4795 Yes, Nixon wasn’t a crook. He was, however, a criminal.

    • @thatguythatstoleyourlunch3189
      @thatguythatstoleyourlunch3189 3 роки тому +61

      @@lentisdophlu5357 they’re synonyms though

    • @lentisdophlu5357
      @lentisdophlu5357 3 роки тому +5

      @@thatguythatstoleyourlunch3189 They’re not really.

  • @MustacheCashStash125
    @MustacheCashStash125 4 місяці тому +5

    Narrator : He was in fact a crook

  • @recorecat
    @recorecat Місяць тому +1

    ANYTHING ELSE IS LIKE GOING TO THE STORE, TAKING THE DISC, AND WALKING OUT THE DOOR‼ 🗣🗣🗣

  • @IAmNessie
    @IAmNessie 3 роки тому +693

    “Mr. President it says gullible on the ceiling.”
    “I will not look.”

  • @Sarato
    @Sarato 3 роки тому +250

    "Hey Nixon, could you help Frodo with the One Ring?"
    "I am not a Took."

  • @DailyKansasNews
    @DailyKansasNews 11 місяців тому +7

    Nixon: I am not a crook, I earned everything I got!
    Morgan Freeman: *He in fact, was a crook.*

  • @Blauab
    @Blauab 2 роки тому +272

    It's amazing how he nods when saying "I'm not a crook", and then he shakes his head when saying "I've earnt everything I've got".

    • @julianbufarull7602
      @julianbufarull7602 Рік тому +20

      This is a fantastic comment.
      Body language experts would probably agree.

    • @AC-fg4kg
      @AC-fg4kg 11 місяців тому +29

      @@julianbufarull7602body language “experts” lol

    • @julianbufarull7602
      @julianbufarull7602 11 місяців тому +15

      @@AC-fg4kg such a thing exists. It's not entirely reliable but denying most humans share the expressive gestures that expose our inner feelings is ignorant. Maybe you're just afraid that you could be easily read?

    • @SteambieGrimbley9110
      @SteambieGrimbley9110 11 місяців тому

      @@julianbufarull7602 idiot conspiracy theorists use it as a crutch when they have no actual evidence for whatever retarded point their trying to make

    • @jeremiahsmith4235
      @jeremiahsmith4235 11 місяців тому +3

      @@julianbufarull7602it doesn’t work like that

  • @centennialnixonite
    @centennialnixonite 18 днів тому +3

    God bless the Roberts Court for enshrining into the constitution that Nixon is not a crook. Maybe now people will start seeing the truth that Nixon is, in fact, not a crook.

  • @markmada3802
    @markmada3802 8 місяців тому +3

    Happy 50th Anniversary of Nixon’s most famous moment.

  • @slimjimbaby
    @slimjimbaby 3 роки тому +619

    “Mr. President, surely you must be mistaken”
    “I am not mistook.”

    • @siangchengpang772
      @siangchengpang772 3 роки тому +13

      And don't call me Shirley

    • @Doctor_Straing_Strange
      @Doctor_Straing_Strange 2 роки тому +1

      this comment is beautiful because he was, in fact, mistaken in how to conjugate that word

    • @DarkMasterJo
      @DarkMasterJo 2 роки тому +1

      You guys are all clowns get an original thought for fuck sake

    • @iceblacktempestrv6426
      @iceblacktempestrv6426 2 роки тому +2

      @@DarkMasterJo We humans truly are sculpted from the same pile of shit; basically no originality repeating the same vapid jokes ad infinitum.

    • @siim605
      @siim605 2 роки тому +1

      @@iceblacktempestrv6426 What matters first and foremost is whether the joke is funny. Originality is overrated.

  • @holius1
    @holius1 2 роки тому +977

    That's right, he is no crook.
    He's a 100 level mafia Boss.

    • @pinfoil621
      @pinfoil621 Рік тому +3

      Lol

    • @von_Farr
      @von_Farr Рік тому +62

      “You can’t violate the privacy of Americans!”
      “Yes I can! I have over two million power in Mafia City.”

    • @maestrofeli4259
      @maestrofeli4259 Рік тому

      ​@harb wasn't it 2020? 3 years ago?

    • @maestrofeli4259
      @maestrofeli4259 Рік тому

      @harb really? well I guess we reached an agreement

    • @lolerie
      @lolerie 9 місяців тому

      Hardy

  • @-BubblyArt-
    @-BubblyArt- 3 місяці тому +4

    I’m not a crook ❌
    I-I-I-I-I-I’m not- not a cr-crook ✅
    THEIVIN’, STEALING, TAKIN’, WHATS NOT YOURS🩷💙

  • @GuitarLuv91
    @GuitarLuv91 4 місяці тому +2

    "Mr. President, whats your cross dressing persona?"
    "The name is Brooke"

  • @i_havethe_highground3955
    @i_havethe_highground3955 3 роки тому +573

    "...Sir, this is a Wendy's"

    • @georgemackins9500
      @georgemackins9500 3 роки тому +27

      He actually said this at Disneyland believe it or not

    • @bananacrazy554
      @bananacrazy554 3 роки тому +17

      “Well I am not a cook”

    • @hobomike6935
      @hobomike6935 3 роки тому +9

      McDonald’s: I’ve earned every cent I’ve got.

    • @emmadunn7939
      @emmadunn7939 3 роки тому +4

      The Burgerler form MacDonald's...

    • @i_havethe_highground3955
      @i_havethe_highground3955 3 роки тому

      @Connor McfarIand if you get so mad at a dead meme you need to go outside and get a hobby

  • @ExemptuousAquatic
    @ExemptuousAquatic 10 років тому +876

    "Aaarrrroooooooooooo!!!!"
    - Richard Nixon, 3000

    • @professoroak5162
      @professoroak5162 7 років тому +6

      ExemptuousAquatic aroooo. Aroooo indeed.

    • @RemovingTheWingus
      @RemovingTheWingus 7 років тому +12

      Remember what the doormouse said feed your head, im meeting you half way you stupid hippies

    • @ChristopherFergo
      @ChristopherFergo 6 років тому +9

      I remember my body, flabby, pasty skin, riddled with Phlebitis. A good republican body. God I loved it.

    • @ZakJordan98
      @ZakJordan98 6 років тому +9

      "And once im swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoo's for meat, and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place muahahahahahahahaha!'

    • @KandiKlover
      @KandiKlover 4 роки тому +3

      He’s become bitter and let’s face it crazy over the years! He’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat and break into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place bwahahaha

  • @DereC519
    @DereC519 3 місяці тому

    Your video will make a fine addition to my "UA-cam algorithm strikes again" collection

  • @adamhaj3890
    @adamhaj3890 3 роки тому +475

    "Mr. President, we need someone to prepare the Thanksgiving feast"
    "I am not a cook"

    • @mcmlii.v
      @mcmlii.v Рік тому +5

      "I've burned everything I got."

  • @markanthony4546
    @markanthony4546 3 роки тому +238

    “I’m not a crook”
    Richard Nixon proceeded to be a crook.

    • @therajaofashbourne8483
      @therajaofashbourne8483 3 роки тому +4

      underrated comment

    • @markanthony4546
      @markanthony4546 3 роки тому +2

      @@therajaofashbourne8483 ❤️

    • @kareemwail4495
      @kareemwail4495 3 роки тому +9

      "And that was when everyone realized, he was a crook."
      -Morgan Freeman

    • @skizzz3884
      @skizzz3884 3 роки тому +6

      @Simz Zxy nothing really, what he did wasn’t that big of a deal but it was politically advantageous to get rid of him so they did.

    • @skizzz3884
      @skizzz3884 3 роки тому +3

      @Simz Zxy people will use terms like “crook” and corrupt when its politically advantageous, Nixon wasn’t doing anything that the democrats weren’t trying to do to him, he just got caught.
      Obama literally did something similar to trump and the same people who call Nixon a crook don’t care.
      It’s comparable to the trump Russia stuff probably, in size anyway

  • @Dr.Frogerston
    @Dr.Frogerston 3 місяці тому +1

    he's so adorable when he's angy~
    :3

  • @C0G1
    @C0G1 4 місяці тому +7

    Tv girl reference

  • @MM54334
    @MM54334 3 роки тому +688

    "Mr President, does my butt look big in these pants?"
    "No, I will not confirm that, I will not take a look"

    • @ES-zk2so
      @ES-zk2so 3 роки тому +2

      Best one

    • @Ian-gh9gb
      @Ian-gh9gb 3 роки тому +8

      @@ES-zk2so Now that I look back It’s pretty lame.

    • @australium7374
      @australium7374 3 роки тому

      @@Ian-gh9gb seems pretty high quality most other ones were basic rhymes but there was something popping off here

    • @AnnoyingAllie3
      @AnnoyingAllie3 3 роки тому

      Ofc he didn't wanna take a look, everybody knows he wasn't unfaithful with his hubby

    • @Z3t487
      @Z3t487 3 роки тому

      @@australium7374 Nah, he was saying he took a look at the ass and looked lame.

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED 11 місяців тому +2

    "Mr. Nixon, could you loan me a house?"
    "I'm not a Nook!"

  • @charliehale9389
    @charliehale9389 11 місяців тому +1

    What a day for this to trend.

  • @raghavahuja12
    @raghavahuja12 3 роки тому +531

    'hey Nixon, why is it so hard to read you?'
    'I am not a book.'

  • @markkoetsier6475
    @markkoetsier6475 3 роки тому +975

    "Hey Nixon, throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"
    "I'm not a Took."

  • @phoenixwarden8647
    @phoenixwarden8647 8 місяців тому +3

    “Mr President, have you ever played for the Florida Panthers and Calgary Flames in the NHL?”
    “I am not Tkachuk”

  • @beeking1792
    @beeking1792 8 місяців тому +3

    "Am not a crook."
    *Morgan Freeman narration*
    "But as it would turn out, Richard was indeed a crook."

  • @connormorris5589
    @connormorris5589 6 років тому +1178

    Video is 37 seconds longs, Nixon was 37th president, illuminati confirmed

    • @squatchjosh1131
      @squatchjosh1131 5 років тому +37

      I think his resignation was his 37th and last public announcement as well.

    • @brianarbenz7206
      @brianarbenz7206 4 роки тому +27

      My mother turned 37 the year he left the vice-presidency.

    • @scatchleyii
      @scatchleyii 4 роки тому +2

      Connor Morris hahahahaha, yep
      Say it ain’t so Joe!

    • @SupersonicMojoJojo
      @SupersonicMojoJojo 4 роки тому

      why.

    • @CrazyBear65
      @CrazyBear65 4 роки тому +1

      I'm digging Mudvayne. \m/

  • @PanzerMan332
    @PanzerMan332 3 роки тому +50

    *record scratch*
    Narrator: "He was, in fact, a crook."

  • @laurussnobiliss
    @laurussnobiliss 4 місяці тому +5

    you know where to find me
    and i know where to look
    0:30

    • @noirangel__
      @noirangel__ 4 місяці тому +1

      THIEVEN STEALIN TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS TAKIN WHATS NOT YOURS

  • @savagepanda8458
    @savagepanda8458 5 місяців тому +1

    “Mr. Nixon, are you from Kashyyyk?”
    “I am not a wook.”

  • @Giercownik7
    @Giercownik7 6 років тому +2318

    Spoiler: He was a crook.

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM 4 роки тому +21

      Someone should tell youtube!

    • @kern5450
      @kern5450 4 роки тому +78

      Joseph Joestar wtf, why would you spoil it for me

    • @nicholasberry8456
      @nicholasberry8456 4 роки тому +48

      No he isn’t

    • @zlcoolboy
      @zlcoolboy 4 роки тому +15

      Omg no spoilers!

    • @tea-sus8722
      @tea-sus8722 4 роки тому +9

      damn you with your hermit purple