-point at the Erdtree -discover the deepest secrets of the world -create rune to make that world perfect -refuse to elaborate -die What a Chad the Goldmask was
Miquella, the "most fearsome empyrean": 1. Makes a repulsive needle that breaks. 2. Waits for an eclipse that doesn't happen 3. Fails to sleep in a tree. Outcome: no mending rune, potentially becomes a blood god. The radiant Goldmask: 1. Looks at tree 2. Dies Outcome: best mending rune
The Brother Chorryn+Goldmask lore is definitely a prepare to cry moment, but Goldmask never even got to the part of the story where Marika divorces herself. missing a divorce of that calibre is truly the most big sad, prepare to cry moment.
@@roybaartscheer8872 dang, this is a prepare to cry moment, but on a separate note, could you send footage? I happen to be a divorce watcher myself, and I think your wife divorcing you could be of interest.
Radagon is considered such a faux Elden Lord that his own boss name just says "of the Golden Order." As such, Goldmask likely observed that Marika had effectively divorced him.
I find myself using terms like BioWare fade to black bang scene That’s an s tier divorce That’s canon, it’s in the lore. About unrelated topics. No one knows why I’m like this, but it’s worth it. Really hoping dark tark gets the recognition he deserves as a content creator.
@@GilboPaints i am the same, i say “that’s the true prepare to cry moment” or “the its canon it’s in the lore” and people have no clue wtf im talking about😂
Dark I've researched the blood cult and I immediately noticed how Mohg has 6 fingers on his left hand, but oh wait! The one in the middle is a horn that grew there, and that's the hand he uses to open portals to throw the blood of the formless mother at us So Mohg both has a Femboy in a sack and is also actively fisting an elderly woman while fighting us It's canon, it's in the lore
This is heresy! I could never give you these incantations that work against the golden order *wispers* Meet me near the twin maiden corpses at midnight
Imma let you finish Dark Tark but Goldmask really deserves the credit for this video. Gigachad T-posed so hard that he defied the outer will and spat in the face of all the elder gods. Then he left.
Eh, not exactly. By recognizing that the gods are prone to the same flaws as humans and baking limits on them into the repaired elden ring its describing the proxy "mortal" gods like Marika and her family, not the puter gods. The Greater Will is still perfect and absolute, but in Goldmask's revelation he realized that the golden order collapsed primarily because Marika wasn't fullfilling her role correctly and her kids getting greedy and infighting. As a result he creates the mending ring of perfect order which would limit the power of the gods within the lands between to ensure the absolute grace of the Greater Will.
So if Corhyn were able to accept moral relativism on a multiversal scale, through Goldmask, he would've been able to embrace the true power of Bob Odenkirk's forehead?
Hey mate, you have an actual talent, hope you know that. You’ve got a tangible (humor), combined with an intangible (voice, inflection/tone). Keep it up, you’ll outlive elden ring
I can’t explain how awesome these vids are with how you combine teaching the lore of elden ring in a very interesting way while also being super sarcastic and monotone. It’s just so funny and I’ve always wanted to fully understand the lore of this game. Amazing stuff dark!
Only spanish speakers can understand how extremelly funny the "Radagon is Marika" shenanigans are. In spanish, "Marica" is a slur, the f-word to refer to homosexuals more specifically. You can't even grasp how loud i laughed when i regressed the statue and the text said literally "Radagon is a f****t" It is canon, it's in the LORE.
Dear God this is the best 🤣🤣🤣👌 But Radahon's fanbois are not gonna be happy about him doing drag. Edit: I actually think this may have been the most audacious thing Martin has ever written. The character is gender fluid, goes "both ways", and is polyamorous/polygamous... Got their freak on with everybody... Wrote the best selling book of all time... T posed to assert dominance and to remind us that he's actually secretly non binary Jesus. That last part... That's gotta piss off a lot of people. No wonder scribe Corrhyn gets a nervous breakdown and kills Goldmask. It's what people like him would definitely call "heresy". 🤣
@@samf.s.7731 I don't think I'd really consider it gender fluid, it's more two different entities inhabiting one physical body. Like at one point Radagon and Marika even split apart and had children(Miquella, Malenia) with each other.
Goldmasks disciples never abandoned him, like koral, they were behind him as he pointed. Then Marika came down and pulled his finger. His disciples are now those stinky worm dudes in the forest near where you find him.100% true. Even vaati read something where he said, " pull my finger, prepare to...Bye?.
Man, your channel is really one of the best things Ive found in terms of elden ring content. Please keep it up, your vids are a joy to watch, cant wait for more
This is the second time you’ve uploaded while I’m having a family tragedy, starting to think you’re a bad omen. But the videos are funny so it’s worth it, keep up the great work.
Dude!!! I look forward to your videos every chance i get now and the fact that you reference GTA4 my favorite gta game aswell as my favorite game, is the icing on the cake. Your commentary on Elden Ring makes it so much more enjoyable considering its my first playthrough.
This video is severely underrated as of me currently typing this video, keep with the heterodox styles of memetic comedy delivery by your per eloquence just like the Elden Ring's Elden Lord final goal it's even makes Honkai, Celestia, Warhammer 40K, any SCPs, The both dark-Light sides of The Force, Harry Potter and any other constituents of fictions pales into insecurity and irrelevant obliteration by the issues of male pattern baldness (and boldness) it is truly a magnificent doujin (general fan-works) of Elden Ring video youtube content creations you have produced by your intellectual prowess of Elden Ring fandom... I salute you... Much like how you grant final salutations to your top g of Gold mask beyond the waking nightmares of both NFTs and Bloodborne now go let the legend comeback to life (MGS V Phantom Pain reference) and proceed to find legendary banging cutscenes of Witcher 3 truly all of these are 2015 GOTY references Todd Howard would be cry (another real examples of gaming prepare to cry)...
Some people actually thought that the painting of him en profile at the roundtable hold was a painting of a woman... Perhaps it was the long hair, but me thinks it extends beyond that. Miriel seemed very impressed with his hair though 😆
-point at the Erdtree
-discover the deepest secrets of the world
-create rune to make that world perfect
-refuse to elaborate
-die
What a Chad the Goldmask was
Goldmask is pretty much a hoe.
An absolute gigachad.
Points at the Erdtree
Debates directly with the Greater Will
Wins debate
Fucking Chad
Best ending
Miquella, the "most fearsome empyrean":
1. Makes a repulsive needle that breaks.
2. Waits for an eclipse that doesn't happen
3. Fails to sleep in a tree.
Outcome: no mending rune, potentially becomes a blood god.
The radiant Goldmask:
1. Looks at tree
2. Dies
Outcome: best mending rune
Choryn’s Divorce from hair is easily an S tier elden ring divorce
Mohg groomed me
The pose for Law of Regression actually resembles the linear regression line
Nice touch
dude, don't mean to burst your bubble, but any straight line resembles a linear regression line🙃
@@dhruvdatta1055 such is the name, linear
@dhruvdatta1055 that was the point of the comment.
The Brother Chorryn+Goldmask lore is definitely a prepare to cry moment, but Goldmask never even got to the part of the story where Marika divorces herself. missing a divorce of that calibre is truly the most big sad, prepare to cry moment.
FromSoft: melodrama moment
My character: always dressed as some sort aquatic animal. Always...
Me: laughing at the milk being churd to cheese.
lol my wife is filing for divorce too!
@@roybaartscheer8872 that’s rough man, I hope you get through that all right
@@roybaartscheer8872 dang, this is a prepare to cry moment, but on a separate note, could you send footage? I happen to be a divorce watcher myself, and I think your wife divorcing you could be of interest.
Radagon is considered such a faux Elden Lord that his own boss name just says "of the Golden Order." As such, Goldmask likely observed that Marika had effectively divorced him.
Every single video from dark tark somehow managed to make me actually laugh out loud. The comedic timing is top tier
I find myself using terms like
BioWare fade to black bang scene
That’s an s tier divorce
That’s canon, it’s in the lore.
About unrelated topics. No one knows why I’m like this, but it’s worth it.
Really hoping dark tark gets the recognition he deserves as a content creator.
@@GilboPaints i am the same, i say “that’s the true prepare to cry moment” or “the its canon it’s in the lore” and people have no clue wtf im talking about😂
The part of the quest where Brother Chorryn discovers reddit then suddenly starts debating Goldmask was so sad 😩
@@CaffeinatedCaveDweller 😶🌫️
😩
@@CaffeinatedCaveDweller😩😩😩😩
@@CaffeinatedCaveDweller use the emoji with us 🫵😩
@Genztrex no
Dark I've researched the blood cult and I immediately noticed how Mohg has 6 fingers on his left hand, but oh wait!
The one in the middle is a horn that grew there, and that's the hand he uses to open portals to throw the blood of the formless mother at us
So Mohg both has a Femboy in a sack and is also actively fisting an elderly woman while fighting us
It's canon, it's in the lore
Truly Jorge R. R Martinez's finest work
dude im about to bust
Miquella ain't a femboy. He's an unfortunate victim of a groomer!
@@jacoboddie5364 indeed
@@agamemnonofmycenae5258 you are coping since you cannot get the unalloyed bussy
I love how GTAIV is now an integral part of Elden Ring’s world building. It’s cannon. It’s in the lore.
Haima's Canon
@@alantremonti1381 jar canon
corhyn's despair is proportional to his receiding hairline
this is canon, it's in the lore
that is the true law of regression
I clicked on it almost instantly, I don't believe I could have clicked any faster.
Same here
'There is a man in Elden Ring who wears clothes' - preach, brother!
I love how when you give Brother Corhyn the other spell books he's like: "This is heresy! ... let me teach you the spells for money."
This is heresy! I could never give you these incantations that work against the golden order
*wispers*
Meet me near the twin maiden corpses at midnight
Strangely he says this even if you give him the golden order book and the two fingers book
8:16 I almost spat out my drink.
Well, it just so happens that I'm currently watching this video while skipping out a lecture on linear regression
No escape
Ikr I’m a data science major and that part was so fucking funny
Corhyn: Having an existential crisis about Goldmask’s rejection of his misguided philosophy
Dark Tark: “What a googoo-ass crybaby”
Imma let you finish Dark Tark but Goldmask really deserves the credit for this video. Gigachad T-posed so hard that he defied the outer will and spat in the face of all the elder gods. Then he left.
Eh, not exactly. By recognizing that the gods are prone to the same flaws as humans and baking limits on them into the repaired elden ring its describing the proxy "mortal" gods like Marika and her family, not the puter gods. The Greater Will is still perfect and absolute, but in Goldmask's revelation he realized that the golden order collapsed primarily because Marika wasn't fullfilling her role correctly and her kids getting greedy and infighting. As a result he creates the mending ring of perfect order which would limit the power of the gods within the lands between to ensure the absolute grace of the Greater Will.
@@rwberger6 Interesting, perhaps it's like that
@@rwberger6 the Greater Will is a wicked outer god entity that parades itself as a dubious golden light.
@@eds6679 Sounds like Carian propaganda.
@@ReallyNeedsCoffee based
So if Corhyn were able to accept moral relativism on a multiversal scale, through Goldmask, he would've been able to embrace the true power of Bob Odenkirk's forehead?
I was drinking when I read your comment, not based
Brother Corhyn can see Gold Mask's finger movement with a blindfold cause the people in the lands between see in 3rd person
Actually he "sees" by groping Goldmask, which is the real reason he throws himself off the cliff at the end
The definitive lore channel. Expecting a Bandai Namco sponsor spot any minute now
Hey mate, you have an actual talent, hope you know that. You’ve got a tangible (humor), combined with an intangible (voice, inflection/tone). Keep it up, you’ll outlive elden ring
I would watch Dark Tark’s commentary on literally anything. And THAT’S in the lore.
Always a good day when DT uploads. It's canon! It's in the lore!
always a good day when dark tark uploads
I was waiting for a "Keeps" ad the whole time. You got me good.
I like how you're able to transition so smoothly fro Elden Ring to GTA4 or to Up.
It's a mix of stupid and genious that I can just adore.
"Juju on that beat". Fucking kills me everytime.
I've been anticipating this video since you started talking about doing it in one of your streams. Can't wait for the Fia vid!
He streams
I want this man to narrate my life
I love how he always places his character right behind the NPCs so he's just staring at them awkwardly with that blank expression 🤣
No deal. Just pure magnificence.
I can’t explain how awesome these vids are with how you combine teaching the lore of elden ring in a very interesting way while also being super sarcastic and monotone. It’s just so funny and I’ve always wanted to fully understand the lore of this game. Amazing stuff dark!
the "heyaaaaa" song he plays when something dies is crash of worlds
"So as any good From Software protagonist, you help them on their way."
* Shows maddened Solaire *
Local man T-poses himself to death in religious debate
Only spanish speakers can understand how extremelly funny the "Radagon is Marika" shenanigans are.
In spanish, "Marica" is a slur, the f-word to refer to homosexuals more specifically. You can't even grasp how loud i laughed when i regressed the statue and the text said literally "Radagon is a f****t"
It is canon, it's in the LORE.
Dear God this is the best 🤣🤣🤣👌
But Radahon's fanbois are not gonna be happy about him doing drag.
Edit: I actually think this may have been the most audacious thing Martin has ever written. The character is gender fluid, goes "both ways", and is polyamorous/polygamous...
Got their freak on with everybody...
Wrote the best selling book of all time...
T posed to assert dominance and to remind us that he's actually secretly non binary Jesus.
That last part... That's gotta piss off a lot of people.
No wonder scribe Corrhyn gets a nervous breakdown and kills Goldmask. It's what people like him would definitely call "heresy". 🤣
@@samf.s.7731 I don't think I'd really consider it gender fluid, it's more two different entities inhabiting one physical body. Like at one point Radagon and Marika even split apart and had children(Miquella, Malenia) with each other.
Dark Tark: There is a man in Elden Ring who wears clothes, and a man who does not!
Everyone: Please, tell us more oh enlightened one
i could watch these vids over and over
this is my favorite channal on youtube hands down 🤣🤣🤣
I absolutely love the sound effects you add to your editing (I literally died of laughter at 11:11)
"How dare they not pull up the corpse or kick it over". Meanwhile player characters - "Loots corpse, does nether of those two things. Leaves."
Bro these amazing, always a gem to my day
Your channel is my favorite Elden Ring content, hands down.
You are always so fresh I don’t know how you do it but keep doing it.
Goldmasks disciples never abandoned him, like koral, they were behind him as he pointed. Then Marika came down and pulled his finger. His disciples are now those stinky worm dudes in the forest near where you find him.100% true. Even vaati read something where he said, " pull my finger, prepare to...Bye?.
Came for elden ring content, stayed for the statistics.
I’ve waited for ur video for ages and ps Maliketh still hasn’t returned the flipping lawn mower
#1 UA-cam channel tbh
You are becoming one of my new favorite UA-camrs
Man, your channel is really one of the best things Ive found in terms of elden ring content. Please keep it up, your vids are a joy to watch, cant wait for more
You can also give Corhyn the amnesia potion from Rya's quest line when you find him in the ashen capitol.
Yes yes yes yes my fuckin favorite UA-camr dark has posted once again. My day is made
This guy needs to make a frenzy flame vid
This is the second time you’ve uploaded while I’m having a family tragedy, starting to think you’re a bad omen.
But the videos are funny so it’s worth it, keep up the great work.
I absolutely love these videos. thank you for making us smile man!
Dude!!! I look forward to your videos every chance i get now and the fact that you reference GTA4 my favorite gta game aswell as my favorite game, is the icing on the cake. Your commentary on Elden Ring makes it so much more enjoyable considering its my first playthrough.
why are your videos so fucking well made?
I love this tone of voice, insults, descriptions and comedy, keep them coming my dearest dung eater!
Prepare to cry: Coryhn is friendless and maidenless..soon to be hairless
Painfully underrated channel
I literally got a new job after subscribing to this channel. I can confirm it looks excellent on my resume.
Asserting dominance with that mask is the funniest shit
best channel on youtube frfr, major door knocker energy will forever be a part of my vocab now thanks
Thank you for adding GooGooAssCrybabyAss to my vocabulary
13:29 it looks like he's wagging his tail like a dog when its sped up
Your comedy is so random and wierd I can't help but love it, even tho i haven't played Elden Ring
Dude the way your edit your videos along with the commentary is one of the funniest shit I've ever seen.
i was in a trance and then the no worries from the ladder got me good
“Once you flush away Godfrey’s piss ghost…” 🤣
Coryhn bald lore is truly tragic 😥 😔. Major Thops energy
I was literally just watching your Ranni video. Blessed.
Nothing turns me on more then seeing that you’ve uploaded
Please never stop making these. They make my day!
Goldmask essentially got into an argument with god and WON
The fat armor and Alb helmet will never, ever get old.
I clicked on it almost instantly, 10 / 10 you are really a Top G hustler
This video is severely underrated as of me currently typing this video, keep with the heterodox styles of memetic comedy delivery by your per eloquence just like the Elden Ring's Elden Lord final goal it's even makes Honkai, Celestia, Warhammer 40K, any SCPs, The both dark-Light sides of The Force, Harry Potter and any other constituents of fictions pales into insecurity and irrelevant obliteration by the issues of male pattern baldness (and boldness) it is truly a magnificent doujin (general fan-works) of Elden Ring video youtube content creations you have produced by your intellectual prowess of Elden Ring fandom...
I salute you... Much like how you grant final salutations to your top g of Gold mask beyond the waking nightmares of both NFTs and Bloodborne now go let the legend comeback to life (MGS V Phantom Pain reference) and proceed to find legendary banging cutscenes of Witcher 3 truly all of these are 2015 GOTY references Todd Howard would be cry (another real examples of gaming prepare to cry)...
I wasn't expecting a video at this hour, but I must watch it NOW.
As an algebra one student I was laughing my butt off when he made the connection between linear regression and law of regression 😂
The amount of randomness from the nostalgia of all the OG games being tied in this lore is incredible 😭
I like how this series is absolutely a shitpost but still manage to tell us in depth lore.
It’s true! After subscribing I put it on my resume and at every interview they couldn’t stop staring at it and talking about it
Need more elden ring videos!! I've rewatched all multiple times!
Bro I swear I was subscribed. I’m glad I’m still getting ur videos anyway but I re upped that for ya chief 👍
I knew something was up when I first saw radagon he looked like her
Some people actually thought that the painting of him en profile at the roundtable hold was a painting of a woman...
Perhaps it was the long hair, but me thinks it extends beyond that.
Miriel seemed very impressed with his hair though 😆
It's hilarious that Corhyn, a blind man, would go out into the world searching for a man that never speaks or makes any noise at all really
I've been waiting for this video for so long promise I'm not a bot
Russel definitely speedran origins on black ops 2 zombies
I listened to this shit while driving to my statistics lecture where we actually talked about linear regression... cant make this shit up
Everything in this video is absolutely genius
Watching vaatividya for the shits and giggles, watching dark tark for the deep and philosophical lore analysis
A great day for tark to upload.
What a time to be alive.
I love the way he says "Gold-Mask"
Always a good day when tark uploads.
Best Grand Theft Auto hairline video I've seen yet, props man
i love how he bully corhyn but doesn't sounds like he's doing it.
I literally put "Subscribed to Dark Tark" on my resume, and I got the job because my new boss also plays Elden Ring.
13:06 what is happening there🤣🤣🤣
All of your Elden ring videos are literally the most unhinged shit I’ve ever seen and I love it
5:01 HOW DID YOU DO THAT? THAT ONLY WORKS WITH LOCK ON AND SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!!
“To you who seek to shine as I do, wear it well!” -GM
Aggressively T posing is always a surefire way for sucess. That's what Goldmask taught me