Silent Wealth: How "Old Money" Families Communicate Without Words
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- Опубліковано 26 лип 2024
- "Old Money"-that rarified class of society where silence isn't just
golden - it's the very currency of elite existence.
In a noisy social media-driven world where too many of us are
ensnared in a cacophony of tweets, viral videos, and trending
memes, the “Old Money” crowd engage in a lifestyle where the
simple lifting of an eyebrow speaks volumes - and where a subtle
nod can be akin to a Shakespearean soliloquy.
Indeed, it’s as though these privileged few are playing out a silent
film where each character understands the script so deeply, the
subtitles are meaningless.
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The Secret World of Trust Funds: How Wealthy Families Secure Their Children's Future: • The Secret World of Tr...
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How "Old Money" Families Raise Children: 5 Differences Between Boys & Girls: • How "Old Money" Famili...
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TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Introduction
0:51 1. A Brief History of Etiquette
4:25 2. The Anatomy of a Glance
7:10 3. Gestures that Speak Louder than Words
11:02 4. The Unspoken Hierarchies of Dining Spaces
13:34 5. The Silent Language of Dress
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In the hallowed pages of “Old Money” history, the art of silent
etiquette is often more expressive than the most mellifluous
speeches.
Steeped in the centuries-long weight of familial customs, these
social conventions have roots extending back to the aristocratic
norms of medieval and Renaissance Europe.
You see, whether navigating the elaborate etiquettes of the British
court, the opulent salons of Louis IV's France, or the mighty
imperial Russian palaces - understanding these codes was non-
negotiable.
Indeed, a fumbled curtsy or an ill-timed flick of a fan could spell
societal exile or even worse.
With that said, let us discuss the potency of something as
seemingly simple as eye contact - for its unspoken weight is a
keenly studied element of social dynamics - especially among the
affluent “Old Money” class.
You see, among the elite, eye contact can communicate
detachment or even disdain - a sharp contrast to the overly
expressive, animated eyes commonly perceived in the “new
money” or eager-to-please ranks of a social group.
However, Western and Eastern cultures also color this unspoken
vocabulary differently.
In Western societies, sustained eye contact often signifies
trustworthiness and invites open communication.
But venture to the East, and the same gaze might be viewed as
brash or disrespectful.
Therefore, while a direct gaze can foster a sense of camaraderie
or even deter conflict - it is far from a universally accepted form of
engagement.
In some situations, a look from someone higher on the social
scale can be less an invitation and more an act of subtle and
acerbic judgment.
You see, in settings where every detail can be scrutinized, such
subtle cues can have significant implications - either confirming
one's belonging in a privileged circle or exposing them as an
outsider.
For example, bows and curtsies function as a ceremonial
vocabulary within the lexicon of high society - serving not only as
gestures of respect but also as subtle affirmations of one's
recognition and adherence to the hierarchical structures that
define it.
These gestures - however - can become points of social
dissonance when participants from more relaxed or “new money”
cultures enter the scene.
Meghan Markle's initial experience with British royal etiquette
provides a vivid illustration of this.
Now, in the complex choreography of social etiquette, even
mundane elements like the use of cutlery - or the seating
arrangement around a dining table - can become weighted with
unspoken significance.
The social codes surrounding these aspects are often most
pronounced among the wealthy and influential - making them
subtle indicators of one's social standing and awareness of
etiquette.
Take, for example, the film Pretty Woman - where Julia Roberts'
character - Vivian - grapples with an elaborate set of utensils at a
formal dinner.
Her initial hesitation and confusion serve as a tacit admission of
her unfamiliarity with the nuanced codes of the affluent.
Edward - portrayed by Richard Gere - steps in to guide her
discreetly - transforming the scene into a vivid illustration of how
mastery or lack thereof over such mundane details as how to
behave at a dinner table can underscore one's social status.
Now, the social nuances of fashion are not merely matters of
personal taste - they are forms of nonverbal eloquence in the
realm of the affluent as well.
The distinctions are often unspoken, yet starkly apparent.
For “Old Money”, fashion is a minimalist symphony of understated
excellence.
You're unlikely to see these individuals in anything less than high
quality fabrics- even if the attire itself appears casual to the
untrained eye - with cashmere, silk, linen, and merino wool being
but brushstrokes on their social canvas.
COMMENT: Can you share with us one iconic story from your life - or a favorite movie or television scene - that demonstrates “nonverbal communication” in social settings?
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I bet old wealth actually disapprove of new money in actuality because they are stealing their more subdued limelight.
I learned everything about this from binge watching Downton Abbey. Good manners can open doors
Rich shouts whereas wealth is soft.
New money shouts old money whispers
Yawn 😴🥱
I love how you select your words very carefully. The script is always very well crafted. Listening to you is like reading a literary book. ❤
Thank you so much!
I agree with the comments above, the vocabulary is exquisite!
In a Walter Scott novel about 18th aristocracy (forget name) a nobleman and noblewoman are conversing and although the information is quite shocking, they both control their facial expression so as not to alarm the servants and onlookers, which may be another reason for non-verbal communication.
My grandparents were old money. Shoes. The shoes . I was told as a child , you can wear a so called no money dress but your shoes must be topnotch. If you're wrapped up in jackets,people look down at the shoes and see what class you are in. A nice pair of shoes will get you far. Good manners ,nice shoes. Hahahha
They’re correct. Really what you need it shoes, coat or jacket and your handbag. The rest -shirts, trousers etc- can be plain high street and will look very classy
One of the things I love about The Calm and Kindly Courtesied actors of classic films is that we get a glimpse from them into the world before WWI, a glimpse into how they were brought up to be, when respect for elders was valued widely and "being decent" was something many can only guess at today. The world we live in today has much confusion, anger, frustration, issues, sensitivities, pain, new hurts, old hurts, fears. And communicating in the midst of it...can be a deep quagmire. There are those who are rude and unkind in any class, who will be offended if one doesn't follow their lead. Therefore, it may take Courage to be Kind.
The potentially most evil of persons are those who are nice. Being kind requires real effort, especially today.
Kindness prolong life!
My grandmother would just look at me and my cousins and we would stop what we were doing and behave perfectly. One glance from Gramma, and we shivered with fear.
same and this was in Haiti. No old money. lol. This channel romanticize old money as if they are better than everyone.
@@beatricerightsand yet lots of people idealize, idolize and follow new money people today as if they're better.
I had the horrid experience of being seated next to my boss at a breakfast event, where she was so socially unaware of table etiquette, she took my bread and butter plate as she didn't know you're supposed to take the left side plate.
When i subtly signalled to someone on the opposite side of the table to please pass me the spare one from the non occupied setting, this ghastly socially inept woman shouted across the table what do you want, why do you want it, where's your plate? So everyone turned around and stared at my boss.
Amazing and entertaining story!
Crikey. Embarrassing. 😂
My husband and I were seated next to a top executive from the company worked for... and her husband was next to her. She got drunk and kept telling me how hot my husband was and was licking her lips. 😂😂😂
@@icantwiththis yuk!
@@icantwiththis Lol. That's hilarious.
Gestures have meaning. And in the fast paced manner in which tech millionaires have been created…they don’t understand social cues or small gestures. I have ADHD myself. But I understand snubs.
The first that comes to mind is from the Crown, when Mary of Teck bows to her granddaughter Elizabeth I after George VI. Mary of Teck’s simple, focused, reverent and very public bow communicated to Elizabeth…you are the Monarch. One of the more visceral moments of the season. You could look in Elizabeth’s eyes as the haze of grief cleared and she realized what path she had to walk.
Vivien Leigh's curtsy to HM The Late Queen at 8:38 is amazing! She was presented at Court earlier in her life, so she knew the protocol!
Almost excessive, beyond respectful. One need not flatter the monarch, and by extension, the monarchy, but merely demonstrate an acknowledgement of the weight of position held by the respective individuals.
Conversely, people who "brand" themselves with labels demonstrate their servitude to faceless corporations that do not value anyone, but merely the currency presently held.
Lots of good old money fashion worn by Jude Law and Gweneth Paltrow in Anthony Minghela's "The Talented Mr Ripley" from the early 2000's.
interesting how I am being partially raised by a stranger from the internet
😂👊
@@oldmoneyluxury😂😂😂
Thank you, Old Money Luxury, for your insight and education.
Our pleasure!
Thanks alot, you've done a top notch job on this, can't wait to be one of the old monies of the future 😂, started watching your videos earlier last year as a beginner before giving stocks a trial and I've been able to scale from $220K to $880K, I did get an advisor for supervision and accountability as you recommended. Thank you!!
Wow that's impressive, I've been investing for almost two years and I barely even have a profitable portfolio ever since I got in, every move I've made has slapped me in the face lol. I can read your comment and I was wondering. Can you name your expert? Who do you Work with?
It's always good to have a financial plan, I work with a portfolio manager and fixed income planner in the US. The fixed income serves as a buffer for the volatility of the equity and also bring legitimate returns.
productivity is optimized, it applies to both the financial and digital markets, keeping up to date analysis and strategies make for more lucrative investments.
Conversely, people who "brand" themselves with labels demonstrate their servitude to faceless corporations that do not value anyone, but merely the currency presently held. Slaves today self-brand.
Well said. Totally agree!
Audrey Hepburn was descended from royalty. even when she's acting like a flower girl, you could see her gracefulness that you dont learn from selling flowers.
Might have been the years of ballet.
@@lhourigan1 I was going to say that 👍
You don't have to be a descendant of royalty to have gracious manners. You just study and practice. Anyone who wants to can and it helps if you're in an environment where graciousness is appreciated
Absolutely Audrey was nothing but classy
@@lhourigan1I bet the ballet 🩰 training helped. She just was all class and style
1996 - I was seated at the dinning table beside Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild. The conversations over that four hours changed my life forever.
People can be programmed subconsciously with gestures and nuances. They go under the radar and the conscious mind doesn't get to challenge or reject it because nothing was explicitly said. That's why they're so powerful in invoking emotions in others.
Love all the videos - all. The linguists amusing and spot on. Tantalizingly informative. Thank you.
Our pleasure!
Thank you for your content
So nice of you!
I have been watching old grace Kelly movies and live the elegance and style of the time
Old money kids are trained from childhood. They know how to go with the flow and be elegant all the time
I love the way the dowager Grantham can put you in your place with her sweet chide.
Ikr. She's my favorite character
Maybe even old money has a way of discreetly cutting loose. I guess there will always be those who are a bit crude and ruff around edges. I my self have become to realize I prefer the more quite settle approach where manners and etiquette is sorely missed. Where you show respect to your elders. I'm not about looking down my nose but just looking the other way. Nothing wrong with a curtsy as a show of respect.
Thanks for commenting and viewing :)
I actually did this as a child and was asked Who did I think I was Queen Elizabeth? Lol. They are now teaching new money etiquette......go figure.
Great social insights. Thank you.
Our pleasure!
I love your videos! Thank you for making them!!! I would be interested in learning about Huguette Clark and the Clark fortune if you could make a video about her.
Great suggestion!
Right. Kubrick covered this esoterically in eyes wide shut. They knew Dr Bill did not belong at the masquerade, because his mask was unfamiliar. Also they caught him up with two code words. One for the gate and one for the house. The word can be dropped without attracting attn, but letting those in the circle know they belong to a class.
The elite know the occult power of spoken word.
Kind of like the painting the soup bowls, three bowls, spilling into eachother, en als er een lelijke of nare soup tusse zit, zoals snert, dan kun je de bowl, ook een overloper noemen, of een vreemde eend in de bijt
Hi yes when I travel, I know how to eat right!
When Meghan Markle told the story about her curtsy to the Queen, I couldn’t help but cringe. She looked so ridiculous, and foolish. I was amazed that she had never given any thought or preparation to that eventuality. Frankly, I’m not sure if she is truly that stupid or if she was trying to make some sort of statement about her attitude toward the custom. And of course, Harry sat there looking forevermore like he needed to be rescued but had no idea he was in danger. 😵💫
I thought she was just trying to lighten the atmosphere for being a little clueless and unpractised- which anyone would be if it's all a bit new to them.
As for me, I was brought up to have impeccable basic manners at the table, curtsying etc well before I was a teen.
@elipotter369 "all a bit new to them" gets at my point. There were any number of people she could have asked for a quick tutorial. She was going to need to know what/how to do no matter what. She wasn't exempt because she's an American. When in Rome, do.... Her clumsy attempt appeared disrespectful, disapproving of the custom, and was probably just another red flag in a long line of what was to come.
@j.h.9116 she did ask for lessons. Anyone unfamiliar with the etiquette of British upper class is awkward.
Also, unless you're trained into it in childhood, ie age 5-10, doing the actions and looking natural just doesn't come to you.
@@ShadeIsLikelythe whole practice is stupid, belittling and rooted in supremacy, I think that's what is cringe. People love to pile on without any thoughts for the legitimacy of the practice they're defending 😂
She took courses from a British gentleman that actually runs an etiquette school, it was another convenient lapse of factual accuracy-note I did not not call her a liar- that she uses to promote her own agenda. What she really objected to was not being Queen bee, the difficulty was not with the late Queen, it was that she wasn't on level footing or would she ever be with any other members of the BRF who would have precedence over her.
Wealth Whispers !!!
I for one, will be so greatful when there is no old or new money. It is money. It should not be to have an upper hand, but to be a hand up for others. But on a side note... I think my beautiful mother knew this instinctively... mother of 5 could raise an eye brow and we would all become quite quickly 😂
They do. Called Philanthropy and many leaving everything to charity. People that win the lottery should g9ve it all to charity?
@@ElizzzaB I totally agree 💗💕💗
This was a great video! Quite respectful to all people including Princess Meghan!
Polite and nice. Rules as opposed to being scattered, show-off and a slob.
Old money is a fantasy of the masses. True old money is no more than new money. The 'old' will do anything that new money, or 'street' money will do to get ahead.
Myself I am old money heritage
Meghan Markle misunderstood that new wealth is same as old wealth thus her inability to fit in with the royality properly. the Curtsy isn't demeaing to Markle, the Queen herself did so as well based on her different roles throughout her royal career
Thank You!! This video is GREAT EDUCATION to HK Chinese & Mainland Chinese!! For 2 centuries, CHINA lost all aristocrats & old money because of the wars & revolution!! Now I advertise my zeros in the bank accounts like a siren because I AM NEW MONEY hard earned after 50 years!! Whether it is NEW MONEY or OLD MONEY is better than NO MONEY!! Today, I am NEW MONEY but my future generations will be OLD MONEY & they will be very sophisticate!! I am RICH!!
My favorite is a commercial or movie where a sophisticated monied person is dining in an expensive resturant or home and the model or actor does does not know how to hold and use a knife & fork , they clutch in their fist - one would think that someone associated with the commercial / movie would teach the model / actor how to hold and use a knife and fork. Also kids nowadays are not taught how to hold a pen and pencil.
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is there any consciousness in clockwork people.
Old money people seen people of the wrong side of the tracks are not the top of the society at all, they are are such coop of dull they are.
If you read my name am ablack african bad manners and disrespect from her to everyone else is not due to the colour of her skin even black people have brains and can treat others with respect donnot make bad manners ablack thing please. Am from a common wealth country and did you know what she said about us in her doc series our sch hosp all depend on the common wealth
I guess the Wealth of the British Aristocrats, With their impeccable Manners stop them from Enslaving and Colonialism of you Africans ,that Spread your people worldwide to Serve them , but boy they had manners while they took you , your land , your history, your Heritage, I don't know who your referring to, Maybe Duchess Meghan with manners, but at least she didn't do this Evil , that Africans still suffering with, And I don't personally believe your black or African to say such Stupidity, All the Evil that the Royals done Duchess Meghan and the Africans, What manners those Royals have , Oh , please, 😂😂
Old money families often have wealth that has been accumulated through controversial means such as slavery, theft, gambling, bootlegging during Prohibition, and the sale of drugs and weapons. Side Note: I find Meghan Markle to be an intelligent, elegant, beautiful and compassionate individual, and I believe that she is an exceedingly decent person in comparison to the British Royal Family which is exactly why they felt and see her as threat to their sorry, pitiful existence.
What Cars do each drive ? Let´s have a video on that. It would be interesting. OM drive Priuses, NM Bentleys, but there is much more to it than that a car lover, that would be quite interesting
I would think OM drives anything they can hold onto forever and pass along to the next generation
US old money; Subarus, not the chav imprezas either. Euro old money; land rovers
If I were rich I wouldn't care if I was old or new money. Im rich!
Sometimes people like Harry occours , it's about probabilities 😅
😂
Why can't your spellchecker 'occours' yikes 😂😂 when you try to put someone down but come out looking like a clown
@@angiemono8539 I'm not american or english, I can do some minor mistakes.
" when you try to put someone down " well I didn't destroy my Royal heritage, better make a writing mistake than to slander your family in a book / TV and so on.
@@dimmacommunication it's his right to talk about his own life and experiences the same way its your right to be a judgemental about a life, family and experience that are not your own.
@@angiemono8539 Yeah sure , so sad to be the heir of a dinasty uh
Them old money folks have extrovert family members who like to show-off which can lead to clashes.😫
Creaty video about Russian Old Money Ulyanov, Stroganov etc
This was stupid. 😅 My grandmother isn’t a royal but she’s fluent in speaking without words 😂
😂
What's the deal with disdain for new money. New money is waaay better than no money 😂 Aping the old money aesthetic doesn't give u entry to the "old money club". They mostly deal with their own kind.Also pretending to have rich ancestors doesn't make u a better person. You cant change your ancestors. You are what you are.
I only bow before almighty God. Everyone else is on equal standing. One can be courteous and respectful without being obsequious or a sycophant.
When one is in a different culture, it's kind and respectful to be regarding of their cultural rules, just as you would like to be treated with kindness and respect according to your culture's rules. The Creator of us all would wish humble harmony rather than petty bickering among we little ones here on that One's created planet for us to live and love in.
Many cultures - including Christian ones - bow and curtsy
Americans do not curtsey before English royalty as We won that War. I would bow my head with grace, dignity, and exquisite American polite respect.
@@user-ef1sl4yl9e 💜
Oh gheeze...You're one of them!
Watching tv, I find men use more non verbal communication than women. It seems after women found their voices they lost the art of silent communication.
i find all these old money people are wasting their energy being stiff. i would rather dine on my back porch than to sit at a table with people who are staring and interviewing others around them
I appreciate this. Knowing customs can really enable someone to show another respect. Would you be open to featuring old money families from Afro-American, Jewish, or other minority groups in the U.S.? Or other countries? I am curious how these families may assist other members of their ethnicity.
Please donot involve megan in your work
I agree. Her curtsy (at least as described in that awful Netflix piece) was a slap in the face to HM The Late Queen and all she and her predecessors stood for.
I wholeheartedly agree, and I'll add that if meg-nut is referenced one more time in these videos, I'll immediately unsubscribe.
I know no one cares if I unsubscribe. I'm just appalled that we, your viewers, have to look at or hear about that gutter-showgirl in what are supposed to be videos about high society.
It’s amazing the hatred shown to a black lady by those who never met or talked to her by those who can never match her in beauty class or brains. Such envy will eat their hearts out.
Congrats to the narrator to the balanced manner in dealing with the subject. The haters can retire to their trailers.
I might be unusual, but I really haven't been interested in following in the media certain people. I apologize if this offends, but I truly am so busy trying to survive my own life. I am glad when I see people who are being good, kind, and brave examples to others.
@@kinglion5435 But is meg-nut Black today or is she white today? She chooses her ethnicity on whether it will help or hinder her in any given scenario. When acting in that cable show, she checked the box "caucasian," so don't start with the tired old race-baiting BS. She brought every bit of this on herself.
Funny to use Brian Cox photo on thumbnail, he’s a working class Dundonian in real life, and would never like any of these pompous crooks and slavers.
Yes Megan Markle definitely was sincere in her curtesy
Too bad she was a slanderous, back stabbing narcissistic ingrate.
😂
Such justification for bowing. If I remember correctly, Trump did not bow to the Queen or show subservience to her and tradition. Not to provoke conflict here but the American way is not to submit to these "pompous traditions". IMHO Thank you for these videos.
It has nothing to do with America. No head of state bows or curtsies to another head of state.
Thanks for viewing and commenting!
Once someone marries into the BRF, then there is a different protocol to be observed. Since I'm not a citizen of the UK, I don't have a vote in this, but I think like in Denmark, one should have to relinquish their passport of their country of birth, to become a citizen of the new country, they represent.
This is the second American woman who married into the BRF who is a problem. Clearly they needed to be vetted more carefully.
why should anyone curtsy before anyone in this world. you bow before God alone. no one on earth deserves to be admired or respected so much that someone should strain their knees to a bow for them. people are just people. who did the queen curtsy to? did she kiss anyones behind like people kissed hers?
Yes I was brought up in a religious family and we bow or curtsy before no human, only to God. It does create social issues though.
You do realise the Queen acted as God’s representative here on earth? That’s why she was consecrated to God during her coronation. The same with her son King Charles.
It’s a shame you both don’t seem to realise this.
Hence the mark of respect when bowing or curtsying to her. She may not have been your Queen, but she was a Queen nonetheless and her service to the world, not just her own commonwealth states should be respected as such 👑
@@MsPeaches2youso what if she acted as his representative? You're not bound by that and you don't have to obey. You sound like a sheep in a flock, lacking free will. Total peasant-psychology to a point that it's sad 😂
i understand God gives wealth and power to people. but i also understand people can become arrogant and think they are above the average person. should i bow to king charles, the adulterer and fornicator? does he deserve my respect? a man who cheated on his wife, destroyed his family, embarrassed his country and the world, and who is basically responsible for the death of diana... because she never would have have been in that position if he hadnt ruined things. am i wrong to assume many of the crown jewels and wealth were stolen from tombs and swindled from many third world countries and from anciet ruins? should i bow before grave robbers and before people who never worked a day in their lives. i dont fall for hype. the "royals" are hype, no better than anyone else, as exemplified by charles and andrew and harry and meghan. even diana was an adulteress...give me a break. if you bow the knee to these people then thats your thing. make sure you know they are swimming in your hard earned tax dollars as they pose and wave with a grin@@MsPeaches2you
How silly. "Old money" "new money". Get over it.