I would say in the same way you wouldn’t take financial advice from a broke person, or fitness advice from someone who isn’t fit, I wouldn’t take marriage advice from someone in a failed or failing marriage. Look to those examples of couples that have been married for decades and see what has worked for them.
On the other hand, the advice of someone who has experienced the consequences of bad decisions can be more valuable than that of someone who hasn't. For example, I've never even been tempted by drugs and alcohol, so any advice I would give concerning it wouldn't be very helpful. Someone who has overcome addiction, or is even working to do so would have better advice.
This is also situational. You can learn by looking at people’s mistakes in the same way that you can learn by looking at their successes. As long as they frame failures as failures and successes as successes
Great video. Coming up on 25 years here with my wife. We got a lot of crazy advice when we were young, from very micromanaging advice about who should do what in the home to the whole "Year X is great, year Y is hard" nonsense. Every human being is different; we have our own strengths and flaws, we respond differently in the same situations. So we shouldn't be surprised that when two human beings join together in marriage, there will be a unique dynamic between them. Sure, some things will be the same, but never assume your experience will be what everyone else experiences.
Watch the person giving advice! If they have an awful marriage, be careful what advice you take from them. I like to listen to old couples who are still in love. The couples who say oh marriage is awful, you will get sick of eachother eventually, i see how they treat eachother and think, well no wonder!
Advice about stereotypical hard years is not helpful. My late husband and I were married at 23. We were together nearly 22 years and married nearly 16. I lost him 3 years ago. For us, marriage was always our biggest blessing. All the problems we faced came from outside factors and we faced them as a team. We learned early on how to communicate effectively and how to manage conflict in healthy ways. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and Gottman's research on conflict in relationships really helped us. But what really made the difference was building our marriage on God's Word and keeping Him at the center of our relationship. I miss him every day. And he loved me so well that I want to be married again and have someone to share the rest of my life with. I miss the beauty of living out a relationship that portrays Jesus and His bride, the Church!
I’ve also heard from my Mom that marrying someone who’s the same birth order as you can be hard at times. Ironically my parents are both the youngest of their siblings but they’ve been married for almost 34 years. My husband and I are both the oldest which is kind of funny too. I do think birth order affects your personality for sure but so does a lot of other factors. Honestly the key to a healthy, happy, and loving marriage is to have God at the center of it. God bless! 😊❤
Yeah man I felt that, I'm a very very emotional dude, my strongest trait is neuroticism, followed by openness. I experience emotion extremely vividly and I'm constantly reading people's faces and listening to how they say and do things more than I am listening to what they actually say. I take things very personally and it ends up expressing itself as insecurities. I feel both connected to my masculine self but very much so connected to my feminine self as well and sometimes it is useful but I also hate it at times because the feminine persona is also very unstable and doesn't resolve issues very well.
Some people are just bad at relationships. Everyone told us the same- you will hate eachother, marriage is hard, bala bla bla at year x,y or z. 9 years in and still madly in love! Marriage is easy!
I felt the same way as you in the beginning, still do to an extent, yet people show that they are not respectful of marriage in general. Clearly the people that are "giving advice" have a heart problem about their spouse. Most "advice" is the devil trying to sow seeds of doubt about your spouse, resulting in a unfruitful marriage, which as a result makes your witness worse by you giving into the pressure's of life. I have fallen repeatedly, listening to everyone else, and not clinging to my wife like Jesus states a man should do.
I am a teenager and a lukewarm Christian, which I’m not proud of. I keep falling into sin which is Lust and homosexuality and I keep trying to distract myself but I keep feeling more sexual attraction towards women and men and I have lustfully thoughts daily and I keep giving what my flesh desires. I started reading the Bible but I keep forgetting everything and I forget verses that is important which frustrates me! I don’t want to feel lust or homosexuality anymore and I don’t want to care about what my flesh desires anymore and just walk with Jesus and also I cuss a lot and I don’t know how to pray to Jesus properly. Can you please make a video about how to get rid of homosexuality or simple advice? Or maybe some prayers?
My heart goes out to you whoever you are. I’m glad to hear you are trying to read the Bible more. I can relate to the feeling of reading it and then forgetting what you read. I encourage you to get some note cards and write down verses the really stand out to you, especially verses that discuss Gods love for you. I suggest starting with Romans 5:8, and James 4:7. Write these down on index cards and memorize them. God’s word is living truth and it is our defense against the devil (see Ephesians 6:10-18). Just start with a few note cards of verses. You can write the book, chapter and verse on the side that doesn’t have lines, and then write out what the verse says on the side with the lines. If you have down time or are bored you can quiz yourself and go through each of your note cards and over time you will be memorizing so many great scriptures. Ask God for his guidance and anytime you hear or read a verse that really stands out to you, make a note card for it. Keep pursuing God and studying his word. Do not be too discouraged when you make mistakes, run straight to God and confess. Focus more on God and pursuing him, and in time you will find victory over lust and homosexuality. It’s not in our own strength, it’s by the grace of God and his continued sanctifying work in our lives. I hope this helps! God bless you!
@@jacobD63Thank you so much for your time reading this comment and giving me advice! I appreciate it very much and I’ll remember this comment, thank you so much! ❤ God bless you!
Hi @SpookyLovesSleep, I also struggled with lustful thoughts for some time. You are doing great. What helped me overcome my temptations is really dying to my flesh every day which seems like you've been doing. Like in my experience, I stopped watching anything close to romance movies, I stopped giving in to the thoughts in my head and completely refrained from them. When I see an attractive person I immediately turn away so I don't give in to those thoughts. And filling myself up more with the word.
@@wezouskimac5659 I wish overcoming Lust was easy, I am still struggling but I really want a relationship with God and stop giving into my fleshly desires:(
@SpookyLoveSleep don’t give up! The fact that you care about wanting to get rid of Lust is good progress. It’s a matter of getting into Gods presence and feeling his true Love that goes beyond any lust or any human emotion and you’re left satisfied. I will be praying for you, you will overcome this in Jesus name 🙏
I like the books For Men Only and For Women Only. My wife and I read them and they are based on extensive survey data. But even in the books, they state (and show) that there are exceptions. It's critical to communicate and learn with your spouse. Same goes with Love Languages. I think the key to all of this is communication. If you're reading and learning, talk with your partner to learn what does and doesn't apply. I think the rose thing is funny because when I first started dating my wife, my parents told me to get her flowers and I had to explain how she has a strong dislike of flowers and the only flower gift I'd get her would include a lighter. God has created men and women in certain ways, but has created each of us uniquely, so put in the effort to figure it out
I have been getting lukewarm and backsliding a lot the past few months and I keep Is committing the same sin over and over again even now I just keep digging myself into this hole and when I mess up the just Don't want to talk To God I want to get out of this but I don't know how to
You need to spend time in prayer with the Lord and study the Word. The more time you spend with God and studying his Word the easier it will be to resist the temptations of the flesh because you will be filled with more of the Holy Spirit. You are fighting a war against your spiritual self and your old man "flesh". If you fall into sin, confess your sins to God, stop committing that sin and move on with your life.
Just focus on Jesus. Don’t try to focus on the sun or stopping the sun because in your strength you can’t. Instead focus on loving and enjoying Jesus and watch how he changes your desires to match his. You’ll be fine darling, you’ll make it through this and it’ll be a testimony one day. Don’t be downcast, be encouraged! Jesus loves you💞 Also, you can listen to hossana live by hillsong United💞
Hi, friend I know exactly what you’re going through because I have been there before I have struggled with being lukewarm and I have also backslided before as well. So just know that you’re not alone and you are loved. 1. One thing I realized a lot of the times when we sin( repeating the cycle of sin over and over again), it tends to be because we think we can handle it on our own( meaning our own strength). Truth be told we cannot overcome sin by our own strength it is the strength of God and His Spirit that helps us overcome whatever we’re going through. 2. You don’t have to be perfect( by no means am I telling you not to live a godly lifestyle because you should). But the thing I noticed with myself that had kept me in sin was thinking that I needed to be perfect in front of Jesus, and that led me to try to cleanse myself of my sins( in simple terms me thinking that I needed to be perfect in front of Jesus, lead me to believe that I could do His job which is cleansing us of our sins and forgiveness of our sins). We are told to come as we were so we can be clean( the power of transformation is noticing and acknowledging that we cannot transform ourselves and that it is the power of Jesus Christ that transforms us to be more like him). 3. So friend, I encourage you to go to Jesus come to Him as you are, and acknowledge that you cannot do this walk on your own. And I understand the thoughts of doubt( about Him probably never forgiving you but I’m telling you this that it’s nothing but a lie from hell), because the enemy wants us to stay in our sin( the more we stay in sin, the more comfortable we get in that sin and the more we become numb to the convictions of the Holy Spirit). So I encourage you to repent( meaning change your way of thinking and change the way you do things), and ask God for His Spirit to help you with this journey/process). And if you fall, get right back up and go to Jesus as soon as you do it. 4. And friend it all comes down to the matter of the heart. Do you generally want to change Because this journey requires sacrifice and surrendence it is a daily battle of crucifying our flesh. So you’re not the only one struggling with sin because we all struggle. It is what you do in the midst of it, do you go to God and submit yourself to Him or do you allow yourself to go into that dark hole(because remember temptation is not a sin, but it does give us a chance to go to God and surrender/submit to him). * Again know that you are loved by the Most High and I will be praying for you(So God bless and do not give up).
Hay brother 🤗🧡. Have you tried having another brother in Christ hold you accountable? God has blessed us with the local church for this purpose, as well as for encouragement and to minister to one another. Hope you don’t think this is something to overcome alone 🙏🏼. God Bless
Spaghetti and waffles are 100% reality for my husband and I. I had no idea how real the boxes were. If he's focused on something else, his ears literally shut off.
i want to be married one day. im 33 and they keep telling me if you dont get married you wont be able to have children. settle for the first one who asks. no. im not asking advice from divorced people anymore. they dont know what they're talking about because if they did they would be on their third marriage
Do your best to keep seeking for a spouse, it’s such a blessing! If you’re 33 and still single, perhaps figure out what the problem is. Have you been the problem? (E.g. socially awkward, character flaws). Has the problem been that you’ve been seeking the wrong type of men? (E.g. worldly men). Once you figure out the problem, do your best to fix it. For example, my friend wanted to get married but she failed at attempts to take things to the next level with Christian men. She realized her problem was that her standards were so high that they were “extra-biblical” (e.g. he needed to be a millionaire, and provide her a luxury lifestyle). She wanted a 1% man, meanwhile she was mid at best, and realized her desires were selfish led. She then kept her standards to what was biblical (a man who desires to lead, protect, provide and be a helper to) and she’s now found a guy and soon to be married.
😢It so taugh in this days. As a newborn in Christ i wanted to go celibacy and no more sin. We are together 17 years ,and sadly I was young and blind. We didnt get to marriage,and even pastor prepared us, but nothing my partner was lukewarm,and shuts down. It was like I was preparing by myself for marriage. And sadly then routine happend, and its hard because you love that person. So started praying and after all years I realised he has issues. God revealed all , man has traumas,and is avoidant type. Scares of comitment beying a father, provider...😢 I was so young didnt know, and I loved him to soon with al my heart. I repent for that sin, and idolatry ,but I think he isnt. Now we live together like roomates and its not easy ,no one to takk with. So after fasting I said you must seek help ,so he started psihotherapy but for now nothing change. He dont have compassion or is helpful. And like something missing in his brain. 😢We issues with infertility. But he doesnt cherish me Im exhausted. Now he says he is tired ,but he never fight for us for love.And I was preparing to be wife and mother.... Now I must go seek job ,because he said he cannot provide enough😢😢😮
"Men are like waffles-Women are like spaghetti" is a good book by Bill and Pam Farrel. It's a generic summary of most men and women but it's not a one-size-fits-all. Another good book is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Another generic book that is helpful to learn how people feel loved - not just for couples. "Love and Respect" is another good one by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. There are so many useful tools out there but that's just it, they're just tools. I used to seek wise counsel from many people until I realized the only one that really mattered was the advice I received from praying. If I could interject a bit of wise wisdom from my parents: Experience life together, the good times and the bad. It's a daily decision to take up your cross and folllow Christ and it's a daily decision to work on your marriage. Surprisingly, many couples split when the going gets tough but ironically, it's the tough times that strengthen the bonds of any relationship.
LOL. I once had a boyfriend who listened to some gender-based advice and bragged about how he “understood women”. I pointed out to him that we’re all different, but he said but they all have this one thing in common: they all want to feel the three ‘s’s: safe, special, and sexy. I was like, “that last one doesn’t really apply to me, and also I’m not sure that I’ve met a man who doesn’t want to feel like those things. 😂
Kind of sounds like men and women aren't necessarily monolithic. Thank God for common ground, but also varied perspectives, even within the faith to catch each others blind spots.
Perchance, these "folks", attempting to "council", you on the disappointment of marriage are projecting their own experience on you which is sourced from their potentially failed marriage.
Respectfully- didn’t you get married this year? Saying that because time may change your perspective not because it’s invalid. My wife and I have been married for only 5, but even then our perspective on the first year now is vastly different from when we were going through it. The honeymoon phase covered over a lot of the hardship of the transition - but in hindsight it was way tougher than we realized. There was a lot of change we weren’t necessarily prepared for. Change and transition almost always includes loss and hardship. I get what you are saying about it being subjective, but these seasoned couples probably are seeing something you are missing. Real suffering hits, and it’s different than single people suffering. I’ve seen godly people rush into marriage naively, and then be divorced in 12 months. All in love, you should be at least a little nervous approaching marriage. Be excited, be optimistic, but be cautious. No one should have to tell you to be happy to be married. (If they do you’ve got bigger problems.) But as young people we do need MANY “count the cost” conversations . Many wiser men than me, who are much older and more seasoned give gender specific advice. Every rule may have exceptions, but the rule still exists. It’s proverbial not literal, we should glean the principle and apply it.
Weve been married 9 years almost. What was so hard? We often talk about how lucky we are, how we fit so well, how great life is. Yeah weve had external things, life changes and we ride those waves as a team. Maybe we just got lucky and super compatible or very honed in and self aware and very connected. What was the suffering? Aspects of marriage? Or life struggles? Because life struggles effect everyone, its not unique to marriage.
@@Hunter-2689 oh to clarify, we have and have consistently had a happy marriage. But change and transition always brings with it joy and sorrow. We have 2 kids and a third on the way. We love our boys, they are genuinely amazing kids. That came with a lot of beautiful gain, and some unexpected losses. Same with marriage. There were things that were easy and things that weren’t, didn’t change the fact that we were glad to be married. Mind you, my experience is unique. We had a miscarriage early. I was working 2-3 jobs for the first few years. We were financially struggling. I was in the ministry until we ended up at a really toxic church when I stepped away. Friends have left the faith, or worse. All of that strain puts stress on even happy and healthy marriages. While my experience may be different than yours, the principle stands for most people there are in fact growing pains. The fact that you are the exception does not negate the fact that the rule exists. That’s what proverbial wisdom is.
@@zacharymonroe94 i see, makes sense. Every choice in life and changes in life require adaption. Thank you for replying and congratulations on a successful marriage🫡
It is not possible to understand the other completely and that is a good thing. Complete understanding gives you power and control over something or someone. But we are not supposed to control one an other, but to love and respect. Same with God, we can't understand a great part of him, but we need not to. Nowadays everybody seems to be an expert and eager to persuade in accepting their knowledge. Unfortunately even Christians. A more humble atitude and knowledge about our little knowledge would be more helpful.
@@aquafishes I’m DEFINITELY not saying that I agree with this advice even though it’s the modern trend. God doesn’t recognize "half married". You’re rather siblings in Christ or spouses.
@@hlima1hm Oh. Ok. Good to hear. Also, these things (in this case, being tempted to commit sexual sins) has been common to most every person in one way or another after the fall of man. _"There's nothing new under the sun."_ OT *Ecclesiastes 1:9* ESV _What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun._ NT *1 Cor.10:13* ESV _No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it._
This will have very little to do with the video but i am so tired. Im a gay man, have been this way since my childhood, have been attracted to males since my childhood even when i couldnt put the name love to it. Im still in hiding. I'im in love a friend of mine. I love him very much but cannot say a word. Because he will mock me, everyone around me will treat me like i am garbage. I will have fights with my parents and they will tell me that i let them down, which is how i feel. I want to believe that god is love and he cares but i cant. Ive read both Old and New Testament, from Genesis to Revelation. I always watch Christians talking about homosexuality and it hurts me so much when people who do not have to struggle with such urges and feeling of love throw gay people under the "sinner,sick,prideful, abomination" bus. I feel like the bible also clearly does it. I didnt do anything. Im hurting. Can anyone, ANYONE who is gay but also follows Jesus talk about this? I just dont want to hear people who arent hurting from it judging it harshly, saying its the word of god. I know. Does it help? No. I need help.
You shouldn’t follow Him, you should be with somebody who loves you and y’all should surround yourselves with people who accept y’all… I know that’s easier said than done, I certainly can’t speak on behalf of your struggle but you’re not doing anything wrong just because of your orientation, but you need to drop the faith altogether
@@roscowbrown3937 thanks for the response, i think you are right. No matter how much i do research on the bible, make comparisons, try to settle it all to a logical base, i cant feel the loving and caring God like others do. I feel like its a rabbit hole, the more i dig the harder it is for me to go up again. I know God is out there, though. Be it Jesus,Allah, Yehovah or something, he is there. Still searching for the truth, which speaks to and complies to both my heart and brain.
Hi! Please look into Jackie Hill Perry’s ministry as she was an openly lesbian woman but surrendered those desires and is now preaching about that subject in a unique way.. I also struggle with same sex attraction but I am aware that perspective is not God’s original design. Do I wish some of God’s rules were different? Of course, but it is not up to me to make the design, but my Fathers. Please look into this more. A loving God set boundaries up for your benefit
This is absolute garbage advice. God is not primarily focused on your sexual orientation, but your distance from Him. If you didn’t struggle with attraction for example, your relationship to God wouldn’t automatically be fixed. It’s a sin issue- not simply sexuality. Jesus has more to offer than anyone else, even that potential relationship with the guy you are in love with. He is so much more satisfying than anything you’re looking for- if you’re confused why, look into the concept of apologetics. Dropping your desire for God is the worst thing you can genuinely ever do.
If we are looking to it for happiness or personal gain then, yes, it is overrated. If we enter it in service to God, looking only to serve and for nothing in return, then it is a very underrated ministry.
Hey Daily , really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with more Quality Editing in your videos and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail and also help you with the overall youtube strategy and growth ! Pls let me know what do you think ?
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I would say in the same way you wouldn’t take financial advice from a broke person, or fitness advice from someone who isn’t fit, I wouldn’t take marriage advice from someone in a failed or failing marriage. Look to those examples of couples that have been married for decades and see what has worked for them.
Should I listen to someone single who has had experiences with ex-relationships for advice to avoid bad relationship habits?
On the other hand, the advice of someone who has experienced the consequences of bad decisions can be more valuable than that of someone who hasn't. For example, I've never even been tempted by drugs and alcohol, so any advice I would give concerning it wouldn't be very helpful. Someone who has overcome addiction, or is even working to do so would have better advice.
This is also situational. You can learn by looking at people’s mistakes in the same way that you can learn by looking at their successes. As long as they frame failures as failures and successes as successes
Bingo!
Thank you so much. I feared marriage and men for so long because of hearing other people's experiences.
Great video. Coming up on 25 years here with my wife. We got a lot of crazy advice when we were young, from very micromanaging advice about who should do what in the home to the whole "Year X is great, year Y is hard" nonsense. Every human being is different; we have our own strengths and flaws, we respond differently in the same situations. So we shouldn't be surprised that when two human beings join together in marriage, there will be a unique dynamic between them. Sure, some things will be the same, but never assume your experience will be what everyone else experiences.
Watch the person giving advice! If they have an awful marriage, be careful what advice you take from them. I like to listen to old couples who are still in love. The couples who say oh marriage is awful, you will get sick of eachother eventually, i see how they treat eachother and think, well no wonder!
Advice about stereotypical hard years is not helpful. My late husband and I were married at 23. We were together nearly 22 years and married nearly 16. I lost him 3 years ago. For us, marriage was always our biggest blessing. All the problems we faced came from outside factors and we faced them as a team. We learned early on how to communicate effectively and how to manage conflict in healthy ways. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and Gottman's research on conflict in relationships really helped us. But what really made the difference was building our marriage on God's Word and keeping Him at the center of our relationship. I miss him every day. And he loved me so well that I want to be married again and have someone to share the rest of my life with. I miss the beauty of living out a relationship that portrays Jesus and His bride, the Church!
I’ve also heard from my Mom that marrying someone who’s the same birth order as you can be hard at times. Ironically my parents are both the youngest of their siblings but they’ve been married for almost 34 years. My husband and I are both the oldest which is kind of funny too. I do think birth order affects your personality for sure but so does a lot of other factors. Honestly the key to a healthy, happy, and loving marriage is to have God at the center of it. God bless! 😊❤
I’m also more of an emotional person 🤣 so I feel you bro 👏
Yeah man I felt that, I'm a very very emotional dude, my strongest trait is neuroticism, followed by openness. I experience emotion extremely vividly and I'm constantly reading people's faces and listening to how they say and do things more than I am listening to what they actually say. I take things very personally and it ends up expressing itself as insecurities. I feel both connected to my masculine self but very much so connected to my feminine self as well and sometimes it is useful but I also hate it at times because the feminine persona is also very unstable and doesn't resolve issues very well.
Some people are just bad at relationships. Everyone told us the same- you will hate eachother, marriage is hard, bala bla bla at year x,y or z.
9 years in and still madly in love! Marriage is easy!
I felt the same way as you in the beginning, still do to an extent, yet people show that they are not respectful of marriage in general. Clearly the people that are "giving advice" have a heart problem about their spouse. Most "advice" is the devil trying to sow seeds of doubt about your spouse, resulting in a unfruitful marriage, which as a result makes your witness worse by you giving into the pressure's of life. I have fallen repeatedly, listening to everyone else, and not clinging to my wife like Jesus states a man should do.
Thank you so much!!!!
This is fire and helpful
This is also good advice for recommending television shows.
I am a teenager and a lukewarm Christian, which I’m not proud of. I keep falling into sin which is Lust and homosexuality and I keep trying to distract myself but I keep feeling more sexual attraction towards women and men and I have lustfully thoughts daily and I keep giving what my flesh desires. I started reading the Bible but I keep forgetting everything and I forget verses that is important which frustrates me! I don’t want to feel lust or homosexuality anymore and I don’t want to care about what my flesh desires anymore and just walk with Jesus and also I cuss a lot and I don’t know how to pray to Jesus properly. Can you please make a video about how to get rid of homosexuality or simple advice? Or maybe some prayers?
My heart goes out to you whoever you are. I’m glad to hear you are trying to read the Bible more. I can relate to the feeling of reading it and then forgetting what you read. I encourage you to get some note cards and write down verses the really stand out to you, especially verses that discuss Gods love for you. I suggest starting with Romans 5:8, and James 4:7. Write these down on index cards and memorize them. God’s word is living truth and it is our defense against the devil (see Ephesians 6:10-18). Just start with a few note cards of verses. You can write the book, chapter and verse on the side that doesn’t have lines, and then write out what the verse says on the side with the lines. If you have down time or are bored you can quiz yourself and go through each of your note cards and over time you will be memorizing so many great scriptures. Ask God for his guidance and anytime you hear or read a verse that really stands out to you, make a note card for it. Keep pursuing God and studying his word. Do not be too discouraged when you make mistakes, run straight to God and confess. Focus more on God and pursuing him, and in time you will find victory over lust and homosexuality. It’s not in our own strength, it’s by the grace of God and his continued sanctifying work in our lives. I hope this helps! God bless you!
@@jacobD63Thank you so much for your time reading this comment and giving me advice! I appreciate it very much and I’ll remember this comment, thank you so much! ❤ God bless you!
Hi @SpookyLovesSleep, I also struggled with lustful thoughts for some time. You are doing great. What helped me overcome my temptations is really dying to my flesh every day which seems like you've been doing. Like in my experience, I stopped watching anything close to romance movies, I stopped giving in to the thoughts in my head and completely refrained from them. When I see an attractive person I immediately turn away so I don't give in to those thoughts. And filling myself up more with the word.
@@wezouskimac5659 I wish overcoming Lust was easy, I am still struggling but I really want a relationship with God and stop giving into my fleshly desires:(
@SpookyLoveSleep don’t give up! The fact that you care about wanting to get rid of Lust is good progress. It’s a matter of getting into Gods presence and feeling his true Love that goes beyond any lust or any human emotion and you’re left satisfied. I will be praying for you, you will overcome this in Jesus name 🙏
I like the books For Men Only and For Women Only. My wife and I read them and they are based on extensive survey data. But even in the books, they state (and show) that there are exceptions. It's critical to communicate and learn with your spouse. Same goes with Love Languages. I think the key to all of this is communication. If you're reading and learning, talk with your partner to learn what does and doesn't apply. I think the rose thing is funny because when I first started dating my wife, my parents told me to get her flowers and I had to explain how she has a strong dislike of flowers and the only flower gift I'd get her would include a lighter. God has created men and women in certain ways, but has created each of us uniquely, so put in the effort to figure it out
I have been getting lukewarm and backsliding a lot the past few months and I keep Is committing the same sin over and over again even now
I just keep digging myself into this hole and when I mess up the just Don't want to talk To God
I want to get out of this but I don't know how to
You need to spend time in prayer with the Lord and study the Word. The more time you spend with God and studying his Word the easier it will be to resist the temptations of the flesh because you will be filled with more of the Holy Spirit. You are fighting a war against your spiritual self and your old man "flesh". If you fall into sin, confess your sins to God, stop committing that sin and move on with your life.
Just focus on Jesus. Don’t try to focus on the sun or stopping the sun because in your strength you can’t. Instead focus on loving and enjoying Jesus and watch how he changes your desires to match his. You’ll be fine darling, you’ll make it through this and it’ll be a testimony one day. Don’t be downcast, be encouraged! Jesus loves you💞
Also, you can listen to hossana live by hillsong United💞
Sin*
Hi, friend
I know exactly what you’re going through because I have been there before I have struggled with being lukewarm and I have also backslided before as well. So just know that you’re not alone and you are loved.
1. One thing I realized a lot of the times when we sin( repeating the cycle of sin over and over again), it tends to be because we think we can handle it on our own( meaning our own strength). Truth be told we cannot overcome sin by our own strength it is the strength of God and His Spirit that helps us overcome whatever we’re going through.
2. You don’t have to be perfect( by no means am I telling you not to live a godly lifestyle because you should). But the thing I noticed with myself that had kept me in sin was thinking that I needed to be perfect in front of Jesus, and that led me to try to cleanse myself of my sins( in simple terms me thinking that I needed to be perfect in front of Jesus, lead me to believe that I could do His job which is cleansing us of our sins and forgiveness of our sins). We are told to come as we were so we can be clean( the power of transformation is noticing and acknowledging that we cannot transform ourselves and that it is the power of Jesus Christ that transforms us to be more like him).
3. So friend, I encourage you to go to Jesus come to Him as you are, and acknowledge that you cannot do this walk on your own. And I understand the thoughts of doubt( about Him probably never forgiving you but I’m telling you this that it’s nothing but a lie from hell), because the enemy wants us to stay in our sin( the more we stay in sin, the more comfortable we get in that sin and the more we become numb to the convictions of the Holy Spirit). So I encourage you to repent( meaning change your way of thinking and change the way you do things), and ask God for His Spirit to help you with this journey/process). And if you fall, get right back up and go to Jesus as soon as you do it.
4. And friend it all comes down to the matter of the heart. Do you generally want to change Because this journey requires sacrifice and surrendence it is a daily battle of crucifying our flesh. So you’re not the only one struggling with sin because we all struggle. It is what you do in the midst of it, do you go to God and submit yourself to Him or do you allow yourself to go into that dark hole(because remember temptation is not a sin, but it does give us a chance to go to God and surrender/submit to him).
* Again know that you are loved by the Most High and I will be praying for you(So God bless and do not give up).
Hay brother 🤗🧡. Have you tried having another brother in Christ hold you accountable? God has blessed us with the local church for this purpose, as well as for encouragement and to minister to one another. Hope you don’t think this is something to overcome alone 🙏🏼. God Bless
Spaghetti and waffles are 100% reality for my husband and I. I had no idea how real the boxes were. If he's focused on something else, his ears literally shut off.
i want to be married one day. im 33 and they keep telling me if you dont get married you wont be able to have children. settle for the first one who asks. no. im not asking advice from divorced people anymore. they dont know what they're talking about because if they did they would be on their third marriage
I'm 41 and having my 4th kid. You have time!
Do your best to keep seeking for a spouse, it’s such a blessing! If you’re 33 and still single, perhaps figure out what the problem is. Have you been the problem? (E.g. socially awkward, character flaws). Has the problem been that you’ve been seeking the wrong type of men? (E.g. worldly men).
Once you figure out the problem, do your best to fix it.
For example, my friend wanted to get married but she failed at attempts to take things to the next level with Christian men. She realized her problem was that her standards were so high that they were “extra-biblical” (e.g. he needed to be a millionaire, and provide her a luxury lifestyle). She wanted a 1% man, meanwhile she was mid at best, and realized her desires were selfish led. She then kept her standards to what was biblical (a man who desires to lead, protect, provide and be a helper to) and she’s now found a guy and soon to be married.
😢It so taugh in this days. As a newborn in Christ i wanted to go celibacy and no more sin. We are together 17 years ,and sadly I was young and blind. We didnt get to marriage,and even pastor prepared us, but nothing my partner was lukewarm,and shuts down. It was like I was preparing by myself for marriage. And sadly then routine happend, and its hard because you love that person. So started praying and after all years I realised he has issues. God revealed all , man has traumas,and is avoidant type. Scares of comitment beying a father, provider...😢 I was so young didnt know, and I loved him to soon with al my heart. I repent for that sin, and idolatry ,but I think he isnt. Now we live together like roomates and its not easy ,no one to takk with. So after fasting I said you must seek help ,so he started psihotherapy but for now nothing change. He dont have compassion or is helpful. And like something missing in his brain. 😢We issues with infertility. But he doesnt cherish me Im exhausted. Now he says he is tired ,but he never fight for us for love.And I was preparing to be wife and mother.... Now I must go seek job ,because he said he cannot provide enough😢😢😮
Good video.
I needed this Isaac 🙏🏻
"Men are like waffles-Women are like spaghetti" is a good book by Bill and Pam Farrel. It's a generic summary of most men and women but it's not a one-size-fits-all. Another good book is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Another generic book that is helpful to learn how people feel loved - not just for couples. "Love and Respect" is another good one by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. There are so many useful tools out there but that's just it, they're just tools. I used to seek wise counsel from many people until I realized the only one that really mattered was the advice I received from praying. If I could interject a bit of wise wisdom from my parents: Experience life together, the good times and the bad. It's a daily decision to take up your cross and folllow Christ and it's a daily decision to work on your marriage. Surprisingly, many couples split when the going gets tough but ironically, it's the tough times that strengthen the bonds of any relationship.
Thank you.
LOL. I once had a boyfriend who listened to some gender-based advice and bragged about how he “understood women”. I pointed out to him that we’re all different, but he said but they all have this one thing in common: they all want to feel the three ‘s’s: safe, special, and sexy. I was like, “that last one doesn’t really apply to me, and also I’m not sure that I’ve met a man who doesn’t want to feel like those things. 😂
Kind of sounds like men and women aren't necessarily monolithic. Thank God for common ground, but also varied perspectives, even within the faith to catch each others blind spots.
Perchance, these "folks", attempting to "council", you on the disappointment of marriage are projecting their own experience on you which is sourced from their potentially failed marriage.
Dude thanks for the content I've got a question though what church do you to?
He doesn’t go to any, he doesn’t actually believe in this stuff, he just makes these videos because they make money
@@roscowbrown3937😂
The spaghetti waffle thing is a skit from a decade ago
A simple yt short should pull it up
Respectfully- didn’t you get married this year? Saying that because time may change your perspective not because it’s invalid. My wife and I have been married for only 5, but even then our perspective on the first year now is vastly different from when we were going through it. The honeymoon phase covered over a lot of the hardship of the transition - but in hindsight it was way tougher than we realized. There was a lot of change we weren’t necessarily prepared for. Change and transition almost always includes loss and hardship. I get what you are saying about it being subjective, but these seasoned couples probably are seeing something you are missing. Real suffering hits, and it’s different than single people suffering. I’ve seen godly people rush into marriage naively, and then be divorced in 12 months. All in love, you should be at least a little nervous approaching marriage. Be excited, be optimistic, but be cautious. No one should have to tell you to be happy to be married. (If they do you’ve got bigger problems.) But as young people we do need MANY “count the cost” conversations .
Many wiser men than me, who are much older and more seasoned give gender specific advice. Every rule may have exceptions, but the rule still exists. It’s proverbial not literal, we should glean the principle and apply it.
Weve been married 9 years almost. What was so hard? We often talk about how lucky we are, how we fit so well, how great life is. Yeah weve had external things, life changes and we ride those waves as a team. Maybe we just got lucky and super compatible or very honed in and self aware and very connected.
What was the suffering? Aspects of marriage? Or life struggles? Because life struggles effect everyone, its not unique to marriage.
@@Hunter-2689 oh to clarify, we have and have consistently had a happy marriage. But change and transition always brings with it joy and sorrow. We have 2 kids and a third on the way. We love our boys, they are genuinely amazing kids. That came with a lot of beautiful gain, and some unexpected losses. Same with marriage. There were things that were easy and things that weren’t, didn’t change the fact that we were glad to be married.
Mind you, my experience is unique. We had a miscarriage early. I was working 2-3 jobs for the first few years. We were financially struggling. I was in the ministry until we ended up at a really toxic church when I stepped away. Friends have left the faith, or worse. All of that strain puts stress on even happy and healthy marriages.
While my experience may be different than yours, the principle stands for most people there are in fact growing pains. The fact that you are the exception does not negate the fact that the rule exists. That’s what proverbial wisdom is.
@@zacharymonroe94 i see, makes sense. Every choice in life and changes in life require adaption. Thank you for replying and congratulations on a successful marriage🫡
It is not possible to understand the other completely and that is a good thing.
Complete understanding gives you power and control over something or someone.
But we are not supposed to control one an other, but to love and respect.
Same with God, we can't understand a great part of him, but we need not to.
Nowadays everybody seems to be an expert and eager to persuade in accepting their knowledge.
Unfortunately even Christians.
A more humble atitude and knowledge about our little knowledge would be more helpful.
Modern dating advice:date, move in together after a year or so, and eventually get married.
3 or 4 years than marage
Just *No.* What your describing is a _"Friendship with Benefits."_ You won't find that in the Bible. God Bless. *2 Peter 3:18*
@@aquafishes I’m DEFINITELY not saying that I agree with this advice even though it’s the modern trend. God doesn’t recognize "half married". You’re rather siblings in Christ or spouses.
@@hlima1hm
Oh. Ok. Good to hear. Also, these things (in this case, being tempted to commit sexual sins) has been common to most every person in one way or another after the fall of man. _"There's nothing new under the sun."_
OT *Ecclesiastes 1:9* ESV
_What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun._
NT *1 Cor.10:13* ESV
_No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it._
@@aquafishes yep!
Yeah I am spaghetti not waffles.
In short, like with kids: don't take advice for granted, as every spouse/child will deviate from whatever rule you thought up.
Don't want relationship iam glad iam aro ace modern relationships just are not worth the effort
People love giving advice to people who dont always ask for it lol
Please find a new way to hold the mic. I can hear it every time you move it to a new hand
This will have very little to do with the video but i am so tired. Im a gay man, have been this way since my childhood, have been attracted to males since my childhood even when i couldnt put the name love to it. Im still in hiding. I'im in love a friend of mine. I love him very much but cannot say a word. Because he will mock me, everyone around me will treat me like i am garbage. I will have fights with my parents and they will tell me that i let them down, which is how i feel. I want to believe that god is love and he cares but i cant. Ive read both Old and New Testament, from Genesis to Revelation. I always watch Christians talking about homosexuality and it hurts me so much when people who do not have to struggle with such urges and feeling of love throw gay people under the "sinner,sick,prideful, abomination" bus. I feel like the bible also clearly does it. I didnt do anything. Im hurting. Can anyone, ANYONE who is gay but also follows Jesus talk about this? I just dont want to hear people who arent hurting from it judging it harshly, saying its the word of god. I know. Does it help? No. I need help.
You shouldn’t follow Him, you should be with somebody who loves you and y’all should surround yourselves with people who accept y’all… I know that’s easier said than done, I certainly can’t speak on behalf of your struggle but you’re not doing anything wrong just because of your orientation, but you need to drop the faith altogether
@@roscowbrown3937 thanks for the response, i think you are right. No matter how much i do research on the bible, make comparisons, try to settle it all to a logical base, i cant feel the loving and caring God like others do. I feel like its a rabbit hole, the more i dig the harder it is for me to go up again. I know God is out there, though. Be it Jesus,Allah, Yehovah or something, he is there. Still searching for the truth, which speaks to and complies to both my heart and brain.
Hi! Please look into Jackie Hill Perry’s ministry as she was an openly lesbian woman but surrendered those desires and is now preaching about that subject in a unique way.. I also struggle with same sex attraction but I am aware that perspective is not God’s original design. Do I wish some of God’s rules were different? Of course, but it is not up to me to make the design, but my Fathers. Please look into this more. A loving God set boundaries up for your benefit
This is absolute garbage advice. God is not primarily focused on your sexual orientation, but your distance from Him. If you didn’t struggle with attraction for example, your relationship to God wouldn’t automatically be fixed. It’s a sin issue- not simply sexuality. Jesus has more to offer than anyone else, even that potential relationship with the guy you are in love with. He is so much more satisfying than anything you’re looking for- if you’re confused why, look into the concept of apologetics. Dropping your desire for God is the worst thing you can genuinely ever do.
@@favorsolomon4845 Either prove God or this entire comment means nothing
Best Advice: Stay Single.
Paul advised it too 😂. But marriage is also a good thing depending on the person
First
For me,marriage is highly overrated.
If we are looking to it for happiness or personal gain then, yes, it is overrated. If we enter it in service to God, looking only to serve and for nothing in return, then it is a very underrated ministry.
You’ve literally done many of yhe same things you’re critiquing here 🤦♂️
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