Sometimes it's just too late to make it right. Sometimes we become drained trying to feed a man love. I'm done feeding I need to receive the love I've given
Same here! So I know exactly what your saying. It's not that you don appreciate the efforts it's just that all the other bad shit just makes it hard to even be open to the change. 🤦♀️
I love when you said "if you aren't right for her, just leave her alone" That's one of the realist quotes I've heard in a minute. I don't understand why some men feel the need to hurt some women, and scorn their hearts. It has taken me soooooo long to bounce back and truly heal. Been single for three years now, but I'm at such a place of peace and happiness.
Let me chime in. Some women love a man so much, they see this potential and give chances hoping he will do himself right. You are right though, that is one thing women can learn, leave before you are left.
You're right. At one point it was like I saw this potential, and wanted to give chances. But afterwhile I learned that being selfish with my heart and leaving was the best thing I could have done. So I say this to say love is blind sometimes, and you can be naive to some things a lot of times. I know for myself it was almost like phases that I went through with my ex. But most importantly that relationship and everything he did to me was the best thing that ever happened to me, because now I literally have the most clearest lens ever, and am totally selfish with my heart. I used to regret being in that relationship and the decisions I made. But it actually molded me. I thought I would be scorn forever. I had become so anxious around men, wouldn't give anyone the time of the day, didn't know how to accept a compliment anymore. It was real bad. Just recently within the past year, my confidence has grown back, and I'm at a good place with myself. So all in all, you're right. I did have to leave; and that quote goes both ways. So I now have told myself "if he isn't right for me, then leave him alone" and I've done just that. That last guy that was a potential, and I considered dating, it didn't take long for me so see the real him. Im at a place of peace now where God has me on reserve, and I refuse to adjust my crown for anything and/or anyone less than what I'm worthy of!
Everything he said in this is true. I gave my ex multiple chances to act right. When I told him enough was too much and it was over, can you stand the rain was playing in the car. He tried to flip that on me saying I'm not willing to stand the rain with him. I lost it and told him I've been in the rain the whole time, I'm soaked, and cold, and tired.,
We attract what we are We attracted who they first showed us but it was only a high pursuit for them i trophy But what they really want is the disrespectful females who have the same value as them the side chicks
I was guilty in my relationship of acting like a boy and not a man and breaking my woman's trust. I had a beautiful, loving, honest, caring woman who gave me her heart and I broke it, multiple times. And just like Jaxn said, "you made this bed, now you sleep in it". It's time for me to eat crow and admit and accept my mistakes. It's tough to swallow, but it's what I need and what I deserve. The only thing I can do now is try to fix my flaws, and pray that she's able to heal and forgive me for the mistakes I've made.
This is so real!! What makes it so bad is when they want another chance and the woman like nahhhh...I'm not going to allow you to hurt me again no matter how sincere and what he learned and so on..the man have the nerve to get mad when she turns him down..are you serious man?? you beat me getting mad..righttttt.. so now he violates all over again by getting pissed off something he created in the first place...I'm so over it
You are speaking to my life right now! I can see dude trying but... it's just been too many times. It's to the point when a woman knows that no matter what this brother does to correct his mess, she'll never be at peace with him. Too much damage has been done!
Its never going to be the same. Remember that fellas. It may get better but it will never be like it was when you had her entire trust. So tread carefully. If you really care. Shalum
You're so on point!! Sad, but true. In my relationship I can clearly see that adjustments have been made by him, but not enough for the type of man I desire. During his process of adjustments I found myself becoming less & less interested, and trusting to the point that I no longer want the relationship....
lol they ain't trying to fix nothing. my ex said he was trying and he literally repeated the same shit over and over. I said fuxk it. I am not in the mood to be bothered with another one.
SuperPhdiva YES!!! EXACTLY what I've gone through. I'm done now. He wanted to make changes just until I took him back then went right back to the same BS. Nope. Not spending another day with that.
SuperPhdiva I know what you mean. I asked my soon to be ex-husband to do three things to save our marriage. We have been separated for a year and he refused to do anything. I am starting divorce preceding this week. I have peace and I am happy now that I am out of that relationship.
nikki Allmond This is what the man I'm with now is saying to me. Give him time to get rid of all his ex's in his phone. One of them sent him a text message with a hotel address, he said he had to pick up something at the desk.
I swear I believe GOD IS TALKING TO ME THROUGH YOU... YOU'RE AMAZING... I LOVE YOU.😍😍 I BE TELLING EVERYBODY THAT GOES THROUGH RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, TO WATCH YOUR YOU TUBE PAGE, AND I BET THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT MIND SET.💯💯
#StraightFacts bruh. All MEN including myself we gotta start holding ourselves accountable & realize sometimes we the reason why women act crazy. 9x out of 10 they didn't start that way...
I think this is a message for women as well. When he said if you ain't right for her leave her alone, ladies, if he ain't right for you leave him alone! I'm not saying that you can always tell when you're about to get hurt but ladies we know that a lot of times, we value ourselves less than we should and don't make the best decisions which lead to us getting hurt. You can't expect a boy to do the job of a man.
You’re exactly right.. While we may love him, we will never trust him enough to not break our hearts again. We build walls to keep him a distance from our hearts.
You believe in her and you, and you're finally ready to make it right, get ready for a lot of humble pie. Eat it all up, too, cuz if she's been patiently waiting for you with her little heart in her hands only to get it crushed over and over, then you hang in there for the long haul, be forthcoming, open, sharing, giving your heart and you may not get much in return for awhile, but if she still loves you you just might get lucky and her heart will open for your again. If you're serious, ASK HER what she needs to heal, and then DO IT. She has to matter to you more than anybody, more than your pride or don't even try. Otherwise, you'll just hurt her again! Best of luck!!!
I've been looking for the words to describe why I'm here but not here. You put to words all that was in my head. "meanwhile, there is an entire human being....that's hurting" I needed this at this moment. Thank you.
And you just wrote my the words to describe what im going though with my new fiance. GOD! I really love him...but he cheated...three times...it becomes hard to still feel like he's a good man.He is treating me right...but there has just been so much damage that i am not sure if i want to marry, him.
reciprocity. i was doing too much while he expected it. so one day i stopped driving and just parked. i couldn't move. the bad part about this is: moving on to the next relationship with trust issues.......
Kimber Dc 🙏🙇♀️🙏...... I'm like THIS....I will TRUST the NEXT...person...(because they didn't do ANYTHING to me)... Until you show me...i.... CAN'T!.....🙇♀️🙏🙇♀️
I feel if you educate yourself like you are by Derrick's videos and practice what you learned daily through action will build your self confidence to choose the man who has high self worth and self esteem who will provide you with a healthy relationship
Ladies, when a man is down for you, respects you and truly loves you he will go to great lengths to prove that. It's a fact of life that we all are fallible and can make mistakes but the difference is if the love is real or not. It's much easier to forgive someone when they truly are sorry and then you move on and grow from there. You can't win without losing You can't love without pain But the objective is to move forward not backwards.. Anything else is a waist of time.. Much love
Well he was right on point.I am in that situation right now and I have lost all respect even though he says we should start over, I believe it's too much to deal with.
Well thank you Shena Crowe that definitely was real but that was only half the story bedsides it's been going on for 8 years. He said he does it because I don't respect him as a man and I don't listen to him we have kids together of course.I am so torn I been dealing with this man for 14 years and I just about giving up. He must think I'm real stupid.
My ex told me that he felt like he took God's greatest gift to him and broke it. And he wondered why I couldn't show love for him after years of that crap. GONE!
You hit the nail on the head!!! I've recently started watching you and this by far is the realest conversation you have had. I had someone break my trust in a way that rocked my core for how I felt about him. We are still trying to repair stuff, but when something happens that makes me question his resolve, he gets upset that I bring it up again. That I must not really want to get past what happened. No, it's called you F'd up and it's gonna take time for me to put full trust in you again. His Moms even tells him you created this it's your responsibility to do whatever it takes to fix it, whether you like it or not if you want to keep her.
I went through this and sometimes it's too late! I went through this, I already knew my value as a woman but that experience made me aware of it even more. MOST women have a lot to offer and don't recognize their value and beauty!
Thank you for that, my husband needs to hear this message. But as always he's going to look at it negative and say." Oh you want a divorce because you're not happy." He needs a mental tune-up
my man just does not get it. He keeps doing the same thing. I've tried to talk, flip, scream and it is not sinking in. He says it's me. I don't think he will ever get what he has done to me. I was all in, and to know he is not for me or was never all in with me. I feel like I'm fighting him for him to be with me so we can build and grow together. I'm so hurt. I still have not walked away completely yet. physically I'm here hoping, mentally, spiritually and emotionally I've left the building.
you can't change if you don't see a reason to... the fact that he feels he's doing nothing wrong is a clear indication he will never change... the fact that he's blaming you for what he's doing is a clear indication not only do he know what he's doing he's going to make you question yourself so he can continue to do what is making him happy... know what your choice is... continue to stay and beat a dead horse with hopes of reviving it... rip off that painful bandage to begin your healing process... I can say this though, the Long you stay the more you'll become infected with pain hurt and trust issues... the harder the healing process... as women we don't like to just walk away from someone we care about, the times we invested, or the hope of him changing... men bet on that every single time and that's why the majority of them have no problem with being pieces of shit... they know once our heart is invested they can do whatever and get many benefits from us while doing it
You are on point with this Vlog. There is a such thing as one too many times. God's forgiveness is unlimited; however, human forgiveness has its own limitations. We all live and learn. I just ask for a man not to learn on my watch. My major is not education and my heart has been through enough.
I've had 3 guys come to me on messenger in The last year apologize for not treating me right when we were together. One guy I dated over 20 years ago, one 7 years and one 8 years ago. The guy from 20 years ago said he NEVER found anyone like me since. I always wondered what the HECK I did wrong, but it seems I'm often the "get me by" girl while these guys try and get their mind right. Ugh... my last boyfriend broke my soul. Single a year and a half ...it definitely gets harder to bounce back. I remember one guy sat me down and said I was a great lady but he didn't love me and that he felt selfish staying with me knowing someone could love me better than him. It hurt at the time BUT I have the highest respect for that man who was truthful with himself and me enough to end it in a civil manner. At least he respected me enough not to drag me along. :)
Idk if you’re going to read this, but I’ve been listening and watching some of your videos. I can honestly say that I need to make a change in myself ASAP. I’ve been doing wrong to a lot of good girls/women and walking around thinking I’m da shii. This vid really spoke to me and really had me scared to lose the girl that I’m talking to and I really like her. I gotta tighten up as well all the other dudes. My pops was abusive to my mom, my cousin was bouncing from girl to girl and I’ve been learning the wrong way and this ain’t me. I’m glad I saw this cause it brought me to reality and now I’m the process of getting oughta dat messed up mindset. Preciate you Derrick. ⚡️
So appreciate this video. I have told this man out the gate, you know who you are, how you are and what you are willing and not willing to do. I'm ride or die, he was ride and lie all the way. Chance after chance. Done now. He's 52 years old. DO THESE MEN EVER GROW UP?????
The video posted earlier today and this one is hitting too close to home in my life! Keep doing what you doing. When men behave like this, it really makes us want to glow up in their face, so they can see what they hurt and misused.
Holy shit balls this is the truth. 😩 I'm praying that more men turn towards your messages since they take so long to understand the same messages from us women
This is so so true! I Just got out of a 6 your relationship with a guy who continued to hurt me and he still can't understand why I can't move past things after the fact. I realize now he's not a grown man he's a boy and I deserve way better. I love all your videos they help me so much! Ur awesome!💕💕
I cheated on a girl, that I am in love with.. the day I cheated, I broke up with her without telling why. She found out why from the guy that datet the girl I cheated with. She got angry, but I got her to become my friend again. The friend thing didnt work out because we were in love. She blocked me everywhere on social media. And went on an vacation. I got to send her one message, and we started talking again. We are kinda together and im trying to become a better guy. so I watch your videos and test myself if I do the things you say are bad, if I do, I stop doing them immediately in fear of loosing her. Sometimes I feel like Im using her, and I dont want that. I want to become a better person, a person that deserves a girl like her. In my mind also, I dont think no boys deserves such a beautiful girl. So im trying my best to be the best for her.
You are 16, that's young. You are on the right track taking initiative to correct yourself and taking responsibility for your actions. My advice to you is always be self conscious of what and how you do things, and be transparent along with honesty and respect for self and others. Good luck🍀
I just took a deep breathe!! Derick may God empower you with more wisdom and bless you so dearly for trying to help out some of this men to become a "real man" and understand relationship
men always come back right when it's to damn late! I'm so over everything being out them! stroke they who sex them good feed them support their endeavors foh woman are human too! We need all those same things! NO HUMAN COMES EQUIPPED WITH ALL THE RIGHT WAYS TO DO THINGS! Derrick I love you for your insight, I just wish a man like you had crossed my path just once! now, I'm old and idgaf anymore bcus it's to late to get love at this stage in life!
aqua fina NOT TRUE...LOVE!!! CAN HAPPEN AT ANY!!! AGE!❤🤗❤....GOOGLE OR YOU TUBE...THE COUPLE IN THEIR ...90's!!!!!!!BLACK LADY😊 WHITE MAN.😊....THEY SAID..."IT WAS LOVE❤❤ AT...FIRST!...SIGHT"! ❤😊❤.... So God Bless You Dear Heart🙇♀️🙏🙇♀️....it's NEVER too late...for...LOVE❤😍❤😊😙
He broke my in heart 💔 in so many pieces, he broke my trust so many times. But I learned to stand my ground, what I no longer willing to accept and what I'm willing to let go. I walked out, tough decision but was necessary for my own peace and sanity. Still healing, one day at a time. Life it's a circle and what you reap it's what you sow. There will be that day.
I just can't do it anymore. My heart is broken. I will never go back. I must think about me now. It's funny now, he wants to talk and listen. I'm his soul mate. He can't function without me. I'm his everything. He loves me more than life itself. But I don't care anymore. I left him 3 days ago.
AMAN! Then us women turn into BITCH'S and the guys say "we(ladies) trip'n"....YEAH OK......Imma trip out the door until you get it right. When WE say that.......WE ALREADY DONE!
20 years. I had no choice but to walk away. Hopefully he changes and does right by the next. Good luck. Thank you for your time making these videos. I refuse to let what others did to me to turn me cold. Time heals but love comes and goes.
Yeah. That’s what happened. I stayed with my ex for almost 10 years, and over time I just stopped caring enough to interact. Then he decided he wanted to “act right”, and by that point, I was completely done with the relationship. Angry, tired, and just so, so sad. It was too late for me to be the same girl-in-love I was in the beginning, willing to give the benefit of the doubt, willing to compromise. That girl was dead.
For real, leave me be! Too many times, tried more than with anyone. You made your bed, lay in it. I’m definitely healing each day and without you, I’m so much happier. 😊
Why am I going through this at the moment?? Took my ex back & now he says when will I ever look past his mistake?.. my response Everything takes time.. I may see you doing better than what you were doing before or really trying to make things right but those scars haven't fully healed yet..
As you said, Derrick Jaxn, that same respectable woman is there out of the gate. Men please listen to your woman she will gladly give you the combination numbers to unlock her "valuable" love (if she loves you)! Listen for them and get to work! However, how long do men expect a real woman to wait passively and respectfully by for her or a slothful man to get their crap together? Remember, I did say "real" woman which means she already knows her worth! What he can't or refuse see up close another man can clearly recognize and behold from a respectful distance and probably is patiently waiting for his moment. Don't blow it Men!
this is me right now... i didn't fully understand what i was going through... my man is doing alot better but its hard for me to keep on going... smh this sucks... how do i keep fighting when im so damaged... 😥 we have four kids and i don't want to give up i just don't have anymore strength to continue. its affecting the way i carry myself and the way i raise my children.. the way i cook the way i clean etc... #ONE TOO MANY
I GOT FIVE SONS, AND I DIDN'T RAISE MY SON LIKE THAT. I RAISE THEM TO BE LOYAL AND FAITH. BUT I CAN'T TEACH THEM HOW TO BE A MAN. I RAISE THEM WITHOUT A FATHER SO THEY LEARNED FROM THE STREETS HOW TO CHEAT. MY MAN THEN CHEATED ON ME A LOT AND I'M JUST HERE. I USE TO TRUST HIM TO THE FULLEST BUT THAT HAS CHANGED. IT'S A BLESSING DERRICK THAT I CAN TALK TO YOU. YOU ARE SO UNDERSTANDING THANKS BE BLESSED. ONE MORE THANG DERRICK MY MAN TOLD ME ONE TIME CAUSE I FINALLY TOLD HIM I KNOW HE BE CHEATING ON ME. HE TOLD ME EVERYBODY PLAYS. THAT SHIT BEEN HAD ME NOT TRUSTING HIM EVERY SINCE. I'M A VERY HUMBLE PERSON I LIKE THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS GET HURT.
You Couldn't be More right. Its the truth. l've tried to explain this before too. That this is why. Sometimes you cant get back what you once had. But they dont get it..
Derrick you are the smartest brotha I hear, second to my husband that is a black Canadian doctor from a city called Halifax with Canada's largest and oldest black community (Not largest black population)... He complimented your intellect too... We have watched several of your videos since last night and are very impressed... He loves seeing young black men not trying to be thuggish to be cool.. You actually remind me of him which is why i like your videos.. As handsome as you are intelligent.. Shhhhhhh lol
This is why I'm so happy my little boy loves his play kitchen. We need to raise our little boys better so that they grow up knowing how to treat people (ie women)....yes play kitchens come in blue. I've become addicted to these videos
Something must be running them rough your veins Dr. Derrick Jaxn because you've been on it🔥🔥🔥. Right on time mister. Please keep it up!🙏🏾 You know summer '17 won't be no joke for many of us women.
Omg this is exactly what im going threw right now... this actually fits to a damn T... smh i love your videos. You are a great speaker and it is so wonderful to see a man who is as open and awoke on topics such as these. Go on and keep preaching hun. Your doing great!
I am so glad to find your Chanel it came into my life at the exact right time. Very eloquently and perfectly put. For me it got harder each time, you have to stop giving chances, work on getting you back and your self worth. Tearing yourself down to build or repair another is a high cost, then the person takes 2 steps back one step forward, while thanking you for being their support system and apologise for the damage that’s done to you. They still expect you to keep putting trust in them and then their expectations of you that you should still keep giving wholeheartedly without reservation to them or that they feel you don’t prioritise them enough, when all your trying to do is keep something back in reserve for the next time they pull the rug from underneath you, while they are going through their growing process. It takes one person to allow it and another to do it, break the chain and free yourself is the only way. If he is a better person because of it for someone else, embrace that, he just wasn’t good enough for you. With too many relationships habits and patterns are there that keep the dance going. That relationship you will always end up as his goto fixer, as you got the goods. He needs to rely on himself and do his own work, at his own expense to value it, or value you. Sometime you have to be the one that got away 💕. It took me 5 years to end up tired weary and on empty, knowing I had to remove the drain and start putting back into me. Freedom is the reward and the relief to say I did my best but some people will never evolve while your are their crutch. I’m having me, some me time. This crown is gonna be superglued on, it’s been hard earned. 💕
The problem is that when u keep forgiving a person over & over, they don't know that THIS time is THE last time until the pillow fluffed & them covers pulled back!!! But then.. THEY AINT READY TO LAY IN THE BED THEY MADE...
Well my baby day did everything to me that you described, lied all the time, cheated, etc., but still expected me to be the same woman I was to him in the beginning of the relationship. I put my all and my trust in him and when he finally decided to get it right, he went and did it with another woman. How's that for a slap in the face.
“I’m tired of doing the impossible for the ungrateful...” I’m done... I’m not calling Ellen, but I’m done. I’ve just come across your channel and your insight is amazing. Thank you for speaking up and expressing what so many of us are thinking. You articulate it extremely well!
Hey bro,its me again.Yeah u are so right.I know of woman that is broken because guys wants to use her like a sexual object and there was this guy just pretending to understand and care about how she was feeling
Sometimes it’s just too late and she’s not coming back or allowing him back ever again. And yes it takes longer to heal, the longer the mistreatment but the bounce-back for her will be wonderful and she will love just as hard but towards someone else, never looking back. For him, he could realize he might have lost the best thing that has ever happened to him with no possibility of having it again.
Sometimes it's just too late to make it right. Sometimes we become drained trying to feed a man love. I'm done feeding I need to receive the love I've given
Andrea Jones Word! The drainage is too REAL. Ain't nobody got time for that 😩😴😴😴😴
Andrea Jones yaaaas! you hit the nail on the head.
Andrea Jones Yes, I agree. Sometimes there just aren't any more chances to give.
Right, tired of giving and giving and he just kept taking and giving nothing but when it was convenient for him and even then not much at all...
Yes Andrea, I Agree.
Don't take anyone for granted!!! One day they may just leave.
lis martin Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuue
Ms Stay positive all the time haha yeah
lis martin
exactly & NEVER return
lis martin you got to say something good about him when he's gone. HE'S GONE, GOOD !
Learned that the hard way
This happened to me, he broke my heart and now he is treating me right but my love for him is not the same
My now twice over ex-fiance tried to do right the second time but damage was irreversible. Had to let him go.
Same!!!! Once you’ve made your mind up with your gut and logic thinking. You just walk away because you know your worth
Same here! So I know exactly what your saying. It's not that you don appreciate the efforts it's just that all the other bad shit just makes it hard to even be open to the change. 🤦♀️
I’m living this RIGHT now
True. It's just never the same after it's gone. It's just gone for good.
I love when you said "if you aren't right for her, just leave her alone" That's one of the realist quotes I've heard in a minute. I don't understand why some men feel the need to hurt some women, and scorn their hearts. It has taken me soooooo long to bounce back and truly heal. Been single for three years now, but I'm at such a place of peace and happiness.
Kyera H
If he's not right for/to you, why can't you leave him alone?
Can't you go first?
Let me chime in. Some women love a man so much, they see this potential and give chances hoping he will do himself right. You are right though, that is one thing women can learn, leave before you are left.
You're right. At one point it was like I saw this potential, and wanted to give chances. But afterwhile I learned that being selfish with my heart and leaving was the best thing I could have done. So I say this to say love is blind sometimes, and you can be naive to some things a lot of times. I know for myself it was almost like phases that I went through with my ex. But most importantly that relationship and everything he did to me was the best thing that ever happened to me, because now I literally have the most clearest lens ever, and am totally selfish with my heart. I used to regret being in that relationship and the decisions I made. But it actually molded me. I thought I would be scorn forever. I had become so anxious around men, wouldn't give anyone the time of the day, didn't know how to accept a compliment anymore. It was real bad. Just recently within the past year, my confidence has grown back, and I'm at a good place with myself. So all in all, you're right. I did have to leave; and that quote goes both ways. So I now have told myself "if he isn't right for me, then leave him alone" and I've done just that. That last guy that was a potential, and I considered dating, it didn't take long for me so see the real him. Im at a place of peace now where God has me on reserve, and I refuse to adjust my crown for anything and/or anyone less than what I'm worthy of!
Slammin Casey sorry I thought I clicked on reply directly to you, but see underneath/below.
qmulus1 sorry, I thought I clicked on reply directly to you. But see my reply below
Everything he said in this is true. I gave my ex multiple chances to act right. When I told him enough was too much and it was over, can you stand the rain was playing in the car. He tried to flip that on me saying I'm not willing to stand the rain with him. I lost it and told him I've been in the rain the whole time, I'm soaked, and cold, and tired.,
Hi 5!
meika79 good you did right
What happened after that?
EXACTLY!!!
U drove that point home
I have forgotten how it feels to trust a man. Sad but true.
Walkin Bonita 🙏🙇♀️🙏
Walkin Bonita ...totally ! I agree because I have had enough of the lies, games, and BS !
Not to be that one darling but I think you’ve just met assholes
Walkin Bonita the Bible says trust no man
My friend too... So sad just pray
Some bridges are beyond repair.
your right some bridges can never be repaired due to what happened in a relationship
Thank you!
Sincerely,
A Still Healing Woman ✊
Eboni XOXO # HEALING Woman🙏🙇♀️🙏
We heal by learning and letting go
Couldn't have said it better!... thank you sis.
Fr 💜♥️💜✊🏾
Exactly. Just leave me alone. Don't bother me. Don't awaken my heart when you know full well you're not ready for me.
This needs to be an offical quote by miss LaDonna Cargill. Never read anything more relatable.
ALL TRUE!! once I lose respect it don't come back! I'm done at that point.
Why hurt a woman and you know she's only down for you?
I'll never understand it
Because they are childish and immature.
We attract what we are
We attracted who they first showed us but it was only a high pursuit for them i trophy
But what they really want is the disrespectful females who have the same value as them the side chicks
Simply because they’re ungrateful. 😞
Taken for granted cannot appreciate it. Later they get a new woman not aware of their BS instead of fixing what they got.
I was guilty in my relationship of acting like a boy and not a man and breaking my woman's trust. I had a beautiful, loving, honest, caring woman who gave me her heart and I broke it, multiple times. And just like Jaxn said, "you made this bed, now you sleep in it". It's time for me to eat crow and admit and accept my mistakes. It's tough to swallow, but it's what I need and what I deserve. The only thing I can do now is try to fix my flaws, and pray that she's able to heal and forgive me for the mistakes I've made.
"she ain't eva gonna b the same"...yea...thts me
truth
All I can say is that I cried with this one. This is exactly how I feel... if they know they cant love right, leave us alone
This is so real!! What makes it so bad is when they want another chance and the woman like nahhhh...I'm not going to allow you to hurt me again no matter how sincere and what he learned and so on..the man have the nerve to get mad when she turns him down..are you serious man?? you beat me getting mad..righttttt.. so now he violates all over again by getting pissed off something he created in the first place...I'm so over it
Kenya Johnson so true
Men who dish out pain feel entitled to treat you how they treat you. How many of them deserve a second chance?
My ex all of em
"In the process you're becoming right for her, you may ruin her" -deep
You are speaking to my life right now! I can see dude trying but... it's just been too many times. It's to the point when a woman knows that no matter what this brother does to correct his mess, she'll never be at peace with him. Too much damage has been done!
wise words, many women, are damaged from this exact behaviour. for me, each time it happened, i became less confident, less capable to trust
roxanne divine same here girl!
roxanne divine 🙏🙇♀️🙏
Its never going to be the same. Remember that fellas. It may get better but it will never be like it was when you had her entire trust. So tread carefully. If you really care.
Shalum
You summarized the topic very well. A woman will be cautious and guard her heart and body more after a man does something wrong to her.
You're so on point!! Sad, but true. In my relationship I can clearly see that adjustments have been made by him, but not enough for the type of man I desire. During his process of adjustments I found myself becoming less & less interested, and trusting to the point that I no longer want the relationship....
lol they ain't trying to fix nothing. my ex said he was trying and he literally repeated the same shit over and over. I said fuxk it. I am not in the mood to be bothered with another one.
Yeah I feel you
SuperPhdiva YES!!! EXACTLY what I've gone through. I'm done now. He wanted to make changes just until I took him back then went right back to the same BS. Nope. Not spending another day with that.
SuperPhdiva I know what you mean. I asked my soon to be ex-husband to do three things to save our marriage. We have been separated for a year and he refused to do anything. I am starting divorce preceding this week. I have peace and I am happy now that I am out of that relationship.
nikki Allmond
nikki Allmond This is what the man I'm with now is saying to me. Give him time to get rid of all his ex's in his phone. One of them sent him a text message with a hotel address, he said he had to pick up something at the desk.
PREACH 👏👏🙌🙌👏👏👏👏 she heal but not with him
I swear I believe GOD IS TALKING TO ME THROUGH YOU... YOU'RE AMAZING... I LOVE YOU.😍😍 I BE TELLING EVERYBODY THAT GOES THROUGH RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, TO WATCH YOUR YOU TUBE PAGE, AND I BET THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT MIND SET.💯💯
Rayla ray The same here I ssk Women are you single and if they say yes I refer them to your videos
Rayla ray so damn right !
Agreed
#StraightFacts bruh. All MEN including myself we gotta start holding ourselves accountable & realize sometimes we the reason why women act crazy. 9x out of 10 they didn't start that way...
I think this is a message for women as well. When he said if you ain't right for her leave her alone, ladies, if he ain't right for you leave him alone! I'm not saying that you can always tell when you're about to get hurt but ladies we know that a lot of times, we value ourselves less than we should and don't make the best decisions which lead to us getting hurt. You can't expect a boy to do the job of a man.
Kai Lloyd if this ain’t the damn truth!!!
You’re exactly right.. While we may love him, we will never trust him enough to not break our hearts again. We build walls to keep him a distance from our hearts.
Im a guy going through this right now...trying my best to get my woman back in turning everything around the right way....
+Junky Slimm It's not an easy road but if she's the one for you, walk it.
Junky Slimm No harm in trying🙏
Junky Slimm How did it go?? Any updates?
Kayla Sheppard Y’all nosey as fuck!! But I’m here for it Bitch! How’d it go spill the tea ☕️
You believe in her and you, and you're finally ready to make it right, get ready for a lot of humble pie. Eat it all up, too, cuz if she's been patiently waiting for you with her little heart in her hands only to get it crushed over and over, then you hang in there for the long haul, be forthcoming, open, sharing, giving your heart and you may not get much in return for awhile, but if she still loves you you just might get lucky and her heart will open for your again. If you're serious, ASK HER what she needs to heal, and then DO IT. She has to matter to you more than anybody, more than your pride or don't even try. Otherwise, you'll just hurt her again! Best of luck!!!
There's alot of truth in what you said. You can wear out a person to a point they just stop caring and almost hate to come home.
I'm crying this is EXACTLY my story
Christina's Creative Creations Cry Baby ...get those toxins out.
You'll smile again!
Christina's Creative Creations 🙏🙇♀️🙏
Im in my room crying also im hurt , torn
Mine too...
I can't describe my pain is unbearable,no tears letf to cry.
Yep...the grace period has a period .
I love this!!!☺
I've been looking for the words to describe why I'm here but not here. You put to words all that was in my head. "meanwhile, there is an entire human being....that's hurting" I needed this at this moment. Thank you.
April James 🙏🙇♀️🙏
And you just wrote my the words to describe what im going though with my new fiance. GOD! I really love him...but he cheated...three times...it becomes hard to still feel like he's a good man.He is treating me right...but there has just been so much damage that i am not sure if i want to marry, him.
reciprocity. i was doing too much while he expected it. so one day i stopped driving and just parked. i couldn't move. the bad part about this is: moving on to the next relationship with trust issues.......
Kimber Dc know the feeling. Gotta park up n c if he is puttin any effort
Kimber Dc 🙏🙇♀️🙏......
I'm like THIS....I will TRUST the NEXT...person...(because they didn't do ANYTHING to me)...
Until you show me...i....
CAN'T!.....🙇♀️🙏🙇♀️
I feel if you educate yourself like you are by Derrick's videos and practice what you learned daily through action will build your self confidence to choose the man who has high self worth and self esteem who will provide you with a healthy relationship
Oh My! A gentlemen like you is so rare. I really do appreciate you and your honesty.
Ladies, when a man is down for you, respects you and truly loves you he will go to great lengths to prove that. It's a fact of life that we all are fallible and can make mistakes but the difference is if the love is real or not. It's much easier to forgive someone when they truly are sorry and then you move on and grow from there.
You can't win without losing
You can't love without pain
But the objective is to move forward not backwards.. Anything else is a waist of time..
Much love
Carmen 👏👏👏👏
church! these men keep playing you like a slot machine well eventually your luck runs out.
SHENA CROWE AMEN....
SHENA CROWE 👏👏👏
Well he was right on point.I am in that situation right now and I have lost all respect even though he says we should start over, I believe it's too much to deal with.
Well thank you Shena Crowe that definitely was real but that was only half the story bedsides it's been going on for 8 years. He said he does it because I don't respect him as a man and I don't listen to him we have kids together of course.I am so torn I been dealing with this man for 14 years and I just about giving up. He must think I'm real stupid.
So true
A DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR TOO SHORT
Jay Kaye Preach!!
Jay Kaye Preach!!!
This...makes sense somehow. Preach.
My ex told me that he felt like he took God's greatest gift to him and broke it. And he wondered why I couldn't show love for him after years of that crap. GONE!
You hit the nail on the head!!! I've recently started watching you and this by far is the realest conversation you have had. I had someone break my trust in a way that rocked my core for how I felt about him. We are still trying to repair stuff, but when something happens that makes me question his resolve, he gets upset that I bring it up again. That I must not really want to get past what happened. No, it's called you F'd up and it's gonna take time for me to put full trust in you again. His Moms even tells him you created this it's your responsibility to do whatever it takes to fix it, whether you like it or not if you want to keep her.
_When a woman’s fed up..._
Well, y’all know the rest.
Speaking volumes. I lost something great because I was learning on the job, just didn’t learn fast enough.
I went through this and sometimes it's too late! I went through this, I already knew my value as a woman but that experience made me aware of it even more. MOST women have a lot to offer and don't recognize their value and beauty!
THANK YOU!!! FINALLY A MAN GETS IT!! I AM GOING THROUGH THIS NOW AND IT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!! I'M TIRED THANK YOU
Thank you for that, my husband needs to hear this message. But as always he's going to look at it negative and say." Oh you want a divorce because you're not happy." He needs a mental tune-up
my man just does not get it. He keeps doing the same thing. I've tried to talk, flip, scream and it is not sinking in. He says it's me. I don't think he will ever get what he has done to me. I was all in, and to know he is not for me or was never all in with me. I feel like I'm fighting him for him to be with me so we can build and grow together. I'm so hurt. I still have not walked away completely yet. physically I'm here hoping, mentally, spiritually and emotionally I've left the building.
you can't change if you don't see a reason to... the fact that he feels he's doing nothing wrong is a clear indication he will never change... the fact that he's blaming you for what he's doing is a clear indication not only do he know what he's doing he's going to make you question yourself so he can continue to do what is making him happy... know what your choice is... continue to stay and beat a dead horse with hopes of reviving it... rip off that painful bandage to begin your healing process... I can say this though, the Long you stay the more you'll become infected with pain hurt and trust issues... the harder the healing process... as women we don't like to just walk away from someone we care about, the times we invested, or the hope of him changing... men bet on that every single time and that's why the majority of them have no problem with being pieces of shit... they know once our heart is invested they can do whatever and get many benefits from us while doing it
was in the same situation... I left him
You are on point with this Vlog. There is a such thing as one too many times. God's forgiveness is unlimited; however, human forgiveness has its own limitations. We all live and learn. I just ask for a man not to learn on my watch. My major is not education and my heart has been through enough.
It’s hard to smile and pretend like your heart isn’t hurting, sometimes it’s best to walk away
I've had 3 guys come to me on messenger in The last year apologize for not treating me right when we were together. One guy I dated over 20 years ago, one 7 years and one 8 years ago. The guy from 20 years ago said he NEVER found anyone like me since. I always wondered what the HECK I did wrong, but it seems I'm often the "get me by" girl while these guys try and get their mind right. Ugh... my last boyfriend broke my soul. Single a year and a half ...it definitely gets harder to bounce back.
I remember one guy sat me down and said I was a great lady but he didn't love me and that he felt selfish staying with me knowing someone could love me better than him. It hurt at the time BUT I have the highest respect for that man who was truthful with himself and me enough to end it in a civil manner. At least he respected me enough not to drag me along. :)
Idk if you’re going to read this, but I’ve been listening and watching some of your videos. I can honestly say that I need to make a change in myself ASAP. I’ve been doing wrong to a lot of good girls/women and walking around thinking I’m da shii. This vid really spoke to me and really had me scared to lose the girl that I’m talking to and I really like her. I gotta tighten up as well all the other dudes. My pops was abusive to my mom, my cousin was bouncing from girl to girl and I’ve been learning the wrong way and this ain’t me. I’m glad I saw this cause it brought me to reality and now I’m the process of getting oughta dat messed up mindset. Preciate you Derrick. ⚡️
I cannot begin to say how true this is. Thank you is all I can say.
WOW....that's where we stand RIGHT NOW!!!!
....well said my brother....
So appreciate this video. I have told this man out the gate, you know who you are, how you are and what you are willing and not willing to do. I'm ride or die, he was ride and lie all the way. Chance after chance. Done now. He's 52 years old. DO THESE MEN EVER GROW UP?????
No they don't, they just become "OLD FOOLS!" 💯
The video posted earlier today and this one is hitting too close to home in my life! Keep doing what you doing. When men behave like this, it really makes us want to glow up in their face, so they can see what they hurt and misused.
I had to save this to my phone.the realist talk I've ever heard on this topic.Bravo
Holy shit balls this is the truth. 😩 I'm praying that more men turn towards your messages since they take so long to understand the same messages from us women
This is so so true! I Just got out of a 6 your relationship with a guy who continued to hurt me and he still can't understand why I can't move past things after the fact. I realize now he's not a grown man he's a boy and I deserve way better. I love all your videos they help me so much! Ur awesome!💕💕
I cheated on a girl, that I am in love with.. the day I cheated, I broke up with her without telling why. She found out why from the guy that datet the girl I cheated with. She got angry, but I got her to become my friend again. The friend thing didnt work out because we were in love. She blocked me everywhere on social media. And went on an vacation. I got to send her one message, and we started talking again. We are kinda together and im trying to become a better guy. so I watch your videos and test myself if I do the things you say are bad, if I do, I stop doing them immediately in fear of loosing her. Sometimes I feel like Im using her, and I dont want that. I want to become a better person, a person that deserves a girl like her. In my mind also, I dont think no boys deserves such a beautiful girl.
So im trying my best to be the best for her.
Im 16, trying to become a better guy. I did wrong in my past and wont be the perfect person in the future. But im trying.
You are 16, that's young. You are on the right track taking initiative to correct yourself and taking responsibility for your actions. My advice to you is always be self conscious of what and how you do things, and be transparent along with honesty and respect for self and others. Good luck🍀
That’s nice of you
I just took a deep breathe!! Derick may God empower you with more wisdom and bless you so dearly for trying to help out some of this men to become a "real man" and understand relationship
men always come back right when it's to damn late! I'm so over everything being out them! stroke they who sex them good feed them support their endeavors foh woman are human too! We need all those same things! NO HUMAN COMES EQUIPPED WITH ALL THE RIGHT WAYS TO DO THINGS! Derrick I love you for your insight, I just wish a man like you had crossed my path just once! now, I'm old and idgaf anymore bcus it's to late to get love at this stage in life!
aqua fina i thought i was the only one
aqua fina NOT TRUE...LOVE!!! CAN HAPPEN AT ANY!!! AGE!❤🤗❤....GOOGLE OR YOU TUBE...THE COUPLE IN THEIR ...90's!!!!!!!BLACK LADY😊 WHITE MAN.😊....THEY SAID..."IT WAS LOVE❤❤ AT...FIRST!...SIGHT"! ❤😊❤....
So God Bless You Dear Heart🙇♀️🙏🙇♀️....it's NEVER too late...for...LOVE❤😍❤😊😙
I feel the same way, been burned to much and old enough to not give two shits about playin anymore. 🤐
aqua fina Me too. I've given up. I have a feeling keeping men for that reason out of my life is a good thing.
Aqua Fina, love can happen at any age, never give up and you really do not look old. 😂
After years of breaking and he wants you to heel in days.. How do you
cturtle6 you don't.
Right!
Bruh 😫😫😫😫
you don't.... we take our time and move on from them and their disrespect
now they want to slam Derrick. I don't care I still believe him because he makes sense.
Love it...... true story. What's taken for granted will soon be taken away..
He broke my in heart 💔 in so many pieces, he broke my trust so many times. But I learned to stand my ground, what I no longer willing to accept and what I'm willing to let go. I walked out, tough decision but was necessary for my own peace and sanity. Still healing, one day at a time. Life it's a circle and what you reap it's what you sow. There will be that day.
thank you for this confirming message.... I wasn't the problem... it was the process...
I just can't do it anymore. My heart is broken. I will never go back. I must think about me now. It's funny now, he wants to talk and listen. I'm his soul mate. He can't function without me. I'm his everything. He loves me more than life itself. But I don't care anymore. I left him 3 days ago.
Thats the truth my husband damaged things to no return and now he thinks things can come back bruh not happen because you had time to get it right
At some point, his pattern of behavior is speaking louder than his mouth revealing who he really is. No loss.
AMAN! Then us women turn into BITCH'S and the guys say "we(ladies) trip'n"....YEAH OK......Imma trip out the door until you get it right. When WE say that.......WE ALREADY DONE!
20 years. I had no choice but to walk away. Hopefully he changes and does right by the next. Good luck. Thank you for your time making these videos. I refuse to let what others did to me to turn me cold. Time heals but love comes and goes.
Yeah. That’s what happened. I stayed with my ex for almost 10 years, and over time I just stopped caring enough to interact. Then he decided he wanted to “act right”, and by that point, I was completely done with the relationship. Angry, tired, and just so, so sad. It was too late for me to be the same girl-in-love I was in the beginning, willing to give the benefit of the doubt, willing to compromise. That girl was dead.
So true... Hard findning self after that type of relationship. And trusting other
For real, leave me be! Too many times, tried more than with anyone. You made your bed, lay in it. I’m definitely healing each day and without you, I’m so much happier. 😊
Sometimes the man doesn't want to wait and expects the wonan to just get over it fast and move forward.
Why am I going through this at the moment?? Took my ex back & now he says when will I ever look past his mistake?.. my response Everything takes time.. I may see you doing better than what you were doing before or really trying to make things right but those scars haven't fully healed yet..
Dess Lewan 🙏🙇♀️🙏
As you said, Derrick Jaxn, that same respectable woman is there out of the gate. Men please listen to your woman she will gladly give you the combination numbers to unlock her "valuable" love (if she loves you)! Listen for them and get to work! However, how long do men expect a real woman to wait passively and respectfully by for her or a slothful man to get their crap together? Remember, I did say "real" woman which means she already knows her worth! What he can't or refuse see up close another man can clearly recognize and behold from a respectful distance and probably is patiently waiting for his moment. Don't blow it Men!
this is me right now... i didn't fully understand what i was going through... my man is doing alot better but its hard for me to keep on going... smh this sucks... how do i keep fighting when im so damaged... 😥 we have four kids and i don't want to give up i just don't have anymore strength to continue. its affecting the way i carry myself and the way i raise my children.. the way i cook the way i clean etc... #ONE TOO MANY
Lydia Gutierrez I can relate gotta keep our heads up.
I can relate girl 😕
I GOT FIVE SONS, AND I DIDN'T RAISE MY SON LIKE THAT. I RAISE THEM TO BE LOYAL AND FAITH. BUT I CAN'T TEACH THEM HOW TO BE A MAN. I RAISE THEM WITHOUT A FATHER SO THEY LEARNED FROM THE STREETS HOW TO CHEAT. MY MAN THEN CHEATED ON ME A LOT AND I'M JUST HERE. I USE TO TRUST HIM TO THE FULLEST BUT THAT HAS CHANGED. IT'S A BLESSING DERRICK THAT I CAN TALK TO YOU. YOU ARE SO UNDERSTANDING THANKS BE BLESSED. ONE MORE THANG DERRICK MY MAN TOLD ME ONE TIME CAUSE I FINALLY TOLD HIM I KNOW HE BE CHEATING ON ME. HE TOLD ME EVERYBODY PLAYS. THAT SHIT BEEN HAD ME NOT TRUSTING HIM EVERY SINCE. I'M A VERY HUMBLE PERSON I LIKE THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS GET HURT.
I always ask, why didn't he just leave me alone if he wasn't ready :( Can't blame him completely though, I put up with it too long.
You Couldn't be More right. Its the truth. l've tried to explain this before too. That this is why. Sometimes you cant get back what you once had. But they dont get it..
Derrick you are the smartest brotha I hear, second to my husband that is a black Canadian doctor from a city called Halifax with Canada's largest and oldest black community (Not largest black population)... He complimented your intellect too... We have watched several of your videos since last night and are very impressed... He loves seeing young black men not trying to be thuggish to be cool.. You actually remind me of him which is why i like your videos.. As handsome as you are intelligent.. Shhhhhhh lol
This is why I'm so happy my little boy loves his play kitchen. We need to raise our little boys better so that they grow up knowing how to treat people (ie women)....yes play kitchens come in blue. I've become addicted to these videos
it's crazy how you'll give him everything you got and he still takes it for granted.. I pray he will change
Something must be running them rough your veins Dr. Derrick Jaxn because you've been on it🔥🔥🔥. Right on time mister. Please keep it up!🙏🏾 You know summer '17 won't be no joke for many of us women.
*through
Omg this is exactly what im going threw right now... this actually fits to a damn T... smh i love your videos. You are a great speaker and it is so wonderful to see a man who is as open and awoke on topics such as these. Go on and keep preaching hun. Your doing great!
Soooo true!!! I hope to found someone like u one day.
Amen amen. My ex exactly he lost a amazing woman who gave him everything and now he pays the price of my absence
That's right, no more chances for anyone, I'm just tired.
Pepper 🙏🙇♀️🙏
I am so glad to find your Chanel it came into my life at the exact right time. Very eloquently and perfectly put. For me it got harder each time, you have to stop giving chances, work on getting you back and your self worth. Tearing yourself down to build or repair another is a high cost, then the person takes 2 steps back one step forward, while thanking you for being their support system and apologise for the damage that’s done to you. They still expect you to keep putting trust in them and then their expectations of you that you should still keep giving wholeheartedly without reservation to them or that they feel you don’t prioritise them enough, when all your trying to do is keep something back in reserve for the next time they pull the rug from underneath you, while they are going through their growing process. It takes one person to allow it and another to do it, break the chain and free yourself is the only way. If he is a better person because of it for someone else, embrace that, he just wasn’t good enough for you. With too many relationships habits and patterns are there that keep the dance going. That relationship you will always end up as his goto fixer, as you got the goods. He needs to rely on himself and do his own work, at his own expense to value it, or value you. Sometime you have to be the one that got away 💕. It took me 5 years to end up tired weary and on empty, knowing I had to remove the drain and start putting back into me. Freedom is the reward and the relief to say I did my best but some people will never evolve while your are their crutch. I’m having me, some me time. This crown is gonna be superglued on, it’s been hard earned. 💕
I am one of those guys I broke her trust thank you for the video I do understand it takes time I'm glad Iwatch this video. It helped a lot
Accuracy at it's finest.
wow this is so real and relatable 👏👏👏👏👏👏 I love this
Every man needs to see this video! Derrick, you’ve broken this down in a way that they can’t help but understand.
The problem is that when u keep forgiving a person over & over, they don't know that THIS time is THE last time until the pillow fluffed & them covers pulled back!!! But then.. THEY AINT READY TO LAY IN THE BED THEY MADE...
Well my baby day did everything to me that you described, lied all the time, cheated, etc., but still expected me to be the same woman I was to him in the beginning of the relationship. I put my all and my trust in him and when he finally decided to get it right, he went and did it with another woman. How's that for a slap in the face.
Kenya Lawhorn Don't BELIEVE he got it right....she will see the TRUE him😩....God Bless You Sis🙏🙇♀️🙏
Yes for me it was one too many times and now am happy at peace sleep good every night because i know he's out there
“I’m tired of doing the impossible for the ungrateful...” I’m done... I’m not calling Ellen, but I’m done. I’ve just come across your channel and your insight is amazing. Thank you for speaking up and expressing what so many of us are thinking. You articulate it extremely well!
Wise words: " Dont treat your first chance like you got a second chance". Another great video. Thanks.
Hey bro,its me again.Yeah u are so right.I know of woman that is broken because guys wants to use her like a sexual object and there was this guy just pretending to understand and care about how she was feeling
Derek Lee that's the cruelest thing a guy could do is to pretend he cares when he doesn't.
TRUE, TAKES TIME!!!! ...SOMETIMES, NO MORE TIME TO GIVE. *A, NARCISSIST IS UNAPPEALING* (.)
when praying for some direction your words come through to give me comfort and peace of mind that I am going in the right direction
Sometimes it’s just too late and she’s not coming back or allowing him back ever again. And yes it takes longer to heal, the longer the mistreatment but the bounce-back for her will be wonderful and she will love just as hard but towards someone else, never looking back. For him, he could realize he might have lost the best thing that has ever happened to him with no possibility of having it again.