Im 36. I have not had friends since my early 20s. The brain just changes. Instead of going out with a friend to a movie or a sports game, I exercise or read. I also meditate alot. Honestly I look back and realize nobody really ever had my back. Friendships are superficial for the most part, we really have nothing to rely on other than ourselves.
Wow! This was really interesting! Thank you for posting this! xx Just starting out on UA-cam and not feeling 100% confident so it was really nice to come across your content, it brightened my day 😊
Amazing job of spreading awareness, I think one of the biggest problems with loneliness is feeling like you're alone in being lonely! Hearing those statistics I'm sure will help a lot of people realise that's not true.
Nice work on this! I think most advisors would demonize social media, so I appreciated how you found a positive spin to it. I think I'm gonna try focusing on investment into quality relationships, instead of spreading my resources thin among so many different groups. Thanks!
Yea, the social media one is tricky. Silently observing everyone else’s life may not be good for loneliness, but reaching out to people may help. I’m glad this video helped.
thank you for that valuable information! I recently thought about what is the difference between being alone and feeling lonely ... because I like being alone sometimes. but the feeling of loneliness is ultimately just created in your head and isn't real.
Thank you. I created this channel with the goal of self reflection, thank you for being apart of it. I would add, that loneliness is real, but set to our own standards. The hard part is that we don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.
Talked to many therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and it appears all have the same approach when dealing with mental disorders which is not quite a solution for such disorders, rather a postponement of the symptoms or a “smart” way of hiding them. “Loneliness is a very natural feeling” - well, that’s pushing it, don’t you think so? Take a look at toddlers when they are playing alone for hours undisturbed, would you say they are out of the natural feeling zone? I feel adults can learn a great deal from toddlers not the other way around, at least when it comes to mental sanity. Loneliness is nothing but one of the many “qualities” of one’s ego. Now, when you tell others to fight loneliness, all you do is help them strengthen their loneliness indirectly by engaging themselves into the aforementioned distractions. Whatever you fight you have to give attention to, hence it is bound to increase not at all decrease. “Here are 5 tips to consider that could help you feel LESS lonely…” - for someone who understands what you said, all the tips become suddenly inadequate because these tips are only meant to work as a coping mechanism and not as a cure. People more or less are looking for solutions to their disorders not for how to become an everlasting patient to therapy, however all I see around is that therapists try hard to hook these people to them - that sad.... Indeed, it’s all about the quality of people, however you are encouraging lonely people to engage into more distractions (I want to believe you are doing it unconsciously and not on purpose). Social media doesn’t have to be the enemy, but because people don’t know how to use it, better say social media is the enemy. If some understand, grow and change, you can point directly to them that social media is not the enemy, otherwise it’s misleading. Volunteering is the only tip that actually works but unfortunately people don’t really know how to do it. Real volunteering should not come from one’s ego. Real volunteering kills one’s ego, that is the true purpose of it, not for showing others how great one is. Volunteering for the sake of making social interactions (ego growth) is bound to do more harm than good sooner or later. Now let me ask you this: How can a lonely person who watches your advice ever spread joy to others through volunteering if they themselves are in search of it? Adopting a pet is another way of distracting oneself. I agree with seeking help, however I don’t agree with seeking a mental health professional for the simple reason that one can clearly see that they are unable to cure any mental disorders, rather they are there only to help patient cope with them.
I'm 33 and moved to a new county almost 2 years ago. I don't know anyone here after 2 years. I go to work (where social interaction is minimal), come home, and sit in my apartment every weekend. My health feels like it's rapidly deteriorating, Chest pain, abdominal pain, limps swelling, shooting pain everywhere. but thousands of dollars in tests later they tell me nothings wrong. I didn't have these problems until I came here.
In my limited experience, but not cheap experience, I think therapy has nothing to say about loneliness and making friends. It is like suffering starvation but just going to talk about eating with someone. Therapists are not your friends and cannot make friends for you
I’ve been in isolation in my home for 10 months now. Actually, 4yrs, my hub will get my car running at least 2 months a year. I believe I’ve developed OCD, I’m ripping my hair out so much, that I’m picking up a ball of hair every day out of the floor where I was sitting, and my sleeves on my shirt when I sleep now drives me crazy, it can’t be scrunched up, it has to be stretch out and perfect before I can fall asleep. I feel sick every day, I feel like I’m deteriorating, well, I am deteriorating. I’m 43.
I'm a university student and I really at the breaking point. I haven't had time to make new friends and have lost all of my old friends. It has been a year of being alone and I don't even have any opportunity to find new friends. I feel like I am dying.
Hello Ma'am, I don't know if you are going to see this comment or not. But if you can make a video on anxiety it will be really great. I am myself suffering from anxiety and depression due to upcoming exams.
Its hard to believe that loneliness is as bad as smoking. I have spent my entire life lonely even when i had a large group of friends. My physical health is good for someone who is almost 60.
I'll blast UA-cam head office for their algorithm, why the hell your subscribers are not growing, it's so disheartening, but please don't discontinue you are making change in someone's life no matter it's 500 or 5M.❤️
Loneliness sucks but whatcha gonna do 🤷🏼♂️ people give half-assed replies to messages and don't wanna hang out. You can hire out cool venues for your friends but then they drift back into their bubbles after. Everything's one sided. Such is life 🤷🏼♂️
The unfortunate part about loneliness is that it’s subjective, set to our own standards of social interaction. At the same time, a change in perspective may be beneficial. It’s ok to work on yourself while waiting to make true friendships that last. Everything is a lesson.
@@reallifepsych3309 INFJ personality types are notoriously known for high feelings of loneliness. It's just one of those days I think. I'll get over it
@@reallifepsych3309yes there are tons of levels of loneliness but I think this discussion should focus on the most severe situations, people suffering social isolation with zero friends, there is not a small amount of those people. Working on yourself is great and something that in life everyone should be doing, but how long should you wait for that friend or gf/bf? For many that can turn into multiple years and it probably shouldn’t be multiple years. I also feel like self improvement is easier when you have support and motivation from friends, family or a partner.
Great topic and video once again, especially as in this time with the pandemic and lockdowns that this is something many are struggling with
Exactly. And just because we have technology doesn't mean that it's any easier. As you can see, in some ways, it's worse.
Im 36. I have not had friends since my early 20s. The brain just changes. Instead of going out with a friend to a movie or a sports game, I exercise or read. I also meditate alot. Honestly I look back and realize nobody really ever had my back. Friendships are superficial for the most part, we really have nothing to rely on other than ourselves.
I agree with you 100%
Thanks for sharing!!
Just in time for Valentine’s Day 😭 I love your channel already!💕
This means so much, thank you!
Such an important topic! Really glad to have found you and your channel, Alexa. 💖
I appreciate it. Love your channel as well!
Cool topic Miss! I really do appreciate.
Thank you for the support!
Wow! This was really interesting! Thank you for posting this! xx
Just starting out on UA-cam and not feeling 100% confident so it was really nice to come across your content, it brightened my day 😊
Yes, fellow new youtuber! I hope you get a chance to check out the other videos as well. We’re in this together!
@@reallifepsych3309 Aww thank you! You're so nice! I'm looking forward to more of your content xx
Amazing job of spreading awareness, I think one of the biggest problems with loneliness is feeling like you're alone in being lonely! Hearing those statistics I'm sure will help a lot of people realise that's not true.
Exactly. It’s much more common than people think. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
@@reallifepsych3309 Totally, but it can be hard to see that when you're feeling alone! Looking forward to the next video:)
Nice work on this! I think most advisors would demonize social media, so I appreciated how you found a positive spin to it.
I think I'm gonna try focusing on investment into quality relationships, instead of spreading my resources thin among so many different groups. Thanks!
Yea, the social media one is tricky. Silently observing everyone else’s life may not be good for loneliness, but reaching out to people may help. I’m glad this video helped.
Hi! I just subbed :) I'm a psych student looking to go into clinical psych so I'm looking forward to more of your videos!
That’s awesome. Let me know if you have any suggestions on video topics!
thank you for that valuable information! I recently thought about what is the difference between being alone and feeling lonely ... because I like being alone sometimes. but the feeling of loneliness is ultimately just created in your head and isn't real.
Thank you. I created this channel with the goal of self reflection, thank you for being apart of it. I would add, that loneliness is real, but set to our own standards. The hard part is that we don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.
Beautiful video! Great value ❤️🙏🏽
thanks! love your channel btw!
@@reallifepsych3309 Thank you!
Awesome message!
Thank you Brandon! Feel free to check out the other videos as well!
lol the fact that this was dropped on Valentine's day is almost cruel but very helpful haha
Unfortunately, Valentine's day is awesome for some of us, but a painful reminder for the rest of us. Cheers to the rest of us today :)
Thank you!
I like the way you talk, i like the words you choose to use.
thanks :)
Hanging out with someone who has a boat for your Instagram! 🤣 Love this! Great video! Definitely necessary right now! ❤
lol communal>>>exchange relationships all day
❤️
im still lolll at this britney spears reference haha
lol Britney was ahead of her time on this one haha
Excellent advice!
Sarah, you are making my day! I hope you are enjoying this channel and it’s worth subbing/sharing with friends.
@@reallifepsych3309 Aww, I'm glad! 🤗 I am really enjoying the channel and will definitely share with friends! And I have subscribed.
I was your 500 subscriber!! Congrats 🥰🥰🥰🥰
yayyyyyy!!! thank you so much!!
wow this pandemic is really boring good thing videos like these appear in my rcommended:) I'll stay updated as your subscriber🙂
glad to hear it helped :)
Talked to many therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and it appears all have the same approach when dealing with mental disorders which is not quite a solution for such disorders, rather a postponement of the symptoms or a “smart” way of hiding them.
“Loneliness is a very natural feeling” - well, that’s pushing it, don’t you think so? Take a look at toddlers when they are playing alone for hours undisturbed, would you say they are out of the natural feeling zone? I feel adults can learn a great deal from toddlers not the other way around, at least when it comes to mental sanity.
Loneliness is nothing but one of the many “qualities” of one’s ego. Now, when you tell others to fight loneliness, all you do is help them strengthen their loneliness indirectly by engaging themselves into the aforementioned distractions. Whatever you fight you have to give attention to, hence it is bound to increase not at all decrease.
“Here are 5 tips to consider that could help you feel LESS lonely…” - for someone who understands what you said, all the tips become suddenly inadequate because these tips are only meant to work as a coping mechanism and not as a cure. People more or less are looking for solutions to their disorders not for how to become an everlasting patient to therapy, however all I see around is that therapists try hard to hook these people to them - that sad....
Indeed, it’s all about the quality of people, however you are encouraging lonely people to engage into more distractions (I want to believe you are doing it unconsciously and not on purpose). Social media doesn’t have to be the enemy, but because people don’t know how to use it, better say social media is the enemy. If some understand, grow and change, you can point directly to them that social media is not the enemy, otherwise it’s misleading.
Volunteering is the only tip that actually works but unfortunately people don’t really know how to do it. Real volunteering should not come from one’s ego. Real volunteering kills one’s ego, that is the true purpose of it, not for showing others how great one is. Volunteering for the sake of making social interactions (ego growth) is bound to do more harm than good sooner or later.
Now let me ask you this: How can a lonely person who watches your advice ever spread joy to others through volunteering if they themselves are in search of it?
Adopting a pet is another way of distracting oneself.
I agree with seeking help, however I don’t agree with seeking a mental health professional for the simple reason that one can clearly see that they are unable to cure any mental disorders, rather they are there only to help patient cope with them.
I'm 33 and moved to a new county almost 2 years ago. I don't know anyone here after 2 years. I go to work (where social interaction is minimal), come home, and sit in my apartment every weekend. My health feels like it's rapidly deteriorating, Chest pain, abdominal pain, limps swelling, shooting pain everywhere. but thousands of dollars in tests later they tell me nothings wrong. I didn't have these problems until I came here.
hi to your channel thanks for sharing wonderful help me al lot
So glad to hear it! Let me know if you have any suggestions!
Finally a good video on loneliness.
In my limited experience, but not cheap experience, I think therapy has nothing to say about loneliness and making friends. It is like suffering starvation but just going to talk about eating with someone. Therapists are not your friends and cannot make friends for you
I’ve been in isolation in my home for 10 months now.
Actually, 4yrs, my hub will get my car running at least 2 months a year. I believe I’ve developed OCD, I’m ripping my hair out so much, that I’m picking up a ball of hair every day out of the floor where I was sitting, and my sleeves on my shirt when I sleep now drives me crazy, it can’t be scrunched up, it has to be stretch out and perfect before I can fall asleep. I feel sick every day, I feel like I’m deteriorating, well, I am deteriorating. I’m 43.
Good
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope you check out the other videos as well!
Quality relationships over quantity! 💪🏻
That’s right. And communal vs exchange relationships!
Life is all memory 💙💚
*Well, we hv to make the best out of the situation we r in by talking with friends on the phone (if meetups are not possible)* 🙏❤️
couldnt agree more!
Awesome second comment
Glad to have you on board!!
I'm a university student and I really at the breaking point. I haven't had time to make new friends and have lost all of my old friends.
It has been a year of being alone and I don't even have any opportunity to find new friends.
I feel like I am dying.
I’ve been dealing with that too, except it’s been 4 years for me
Loneliness is such a sad affair 💙💚
I don't have much friends and this virus is making it worse 🤦🏾♂️
Hello Ma'am,
I don't know if you are going to see this comment or not. But if you can make a video on anxiety it will be really great. I am myself suffering from anxiety and depression due to upcoming exams.
Yes, next Sunday’s episode is about depression and a few weeks later, i’ll do anxiety. Currently doing research on both of them right now.
❤️
Its hard to believe that loneliness is as bad as smoking. I have spent my entire life lonely even when i had a large group of friends. My physical health is good for someone who is almost 60.
It made me become emotionless
If you publish a video on a Monday. Can you call it "so scary Monday's?"
Haha I definitely can. Mondays are worse than Sundays haha
I'll blast UA-cam head office for their algorithm, why the hell your subscribers are not growing, it's so disheartening, but please don't discontinue you are making change in someone's life no matter it's 500 or 5M.❤️
It’s ok, we’re just getting started. It’s only a matter of time. Thank you for the support!
Happy valentines day dear 🎉🎉😜😜
❤️
Loneliness sucks but whatcha gonna do 🤷🏼♂️ people give half-assed replies to messages and don't wanna hang out. You can hire out cool venues for your friends but then they drift back into their bubbles after. Everything's one sided. Such is life 🤷🏼♂️
The unfortunate part about loneliness is that it’s subjective, set to our own standards of social interaction. At the same time, a change in perspective may be beneficial. It’s ok to work on yourself while waiting to make true friendships that last. Everything is a lesson.
@@reallifepsych3309 INFJ personality types are notoriously known for high feelings of loneliness. It's just one of those days I think. I'll get over it
@@reallifepsych3309yes there are tons of levels of loneliness but I think this discussion should focus on the most severe situations, people suffering social isolation with zero friends, there is not a small amount of those people.
Working on yourself is great and something that in life everyone should be doing, but how long should you wait for that friend or gf/bf? For many that can turn into multiple years and it probably shouldn’t be multiple years. I also feel like self improvement is easier when you have support and motivation from friends, family or a partner.
I'm lonely by choice. I just can't relate to the average human anymore. Rather have just my wife and 2 cats in my life with zero friends.
Therapy for loneliness fine if l could afford it. Get a pet l have one. Tried volunteering but got told they would get back to me . They didnt.
Who else is watching this during a Pandemic?
Right. The pandemic definitely inspired this one.
Well, right now all of us.
I am always lonely I have 0 friends n 0 family
Beautiful and a rose
Thanks and Happy Valentine's Day!
@@reallifepsych3309 Thank you, dear, I did not celebrate Valentine's Day because he did not have a girlfriend to share on Valentine's Day
@@reallifepsych3309 My dear, I hope to marry an American girl. Can you help me please?
)
Just leave UA-cam and pc and go for walk don't watch this. This is my advise