I have never had a plan. I’m older now than I thought I would ever make it. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open with your mind so I don’t feel so alone.
Resignation is a good word for it. Even as I rebuild after burnout, I feel a sense of "so what" towards anything I might do or accomplish. I go forward because what else am I going to do. But the passion for...anything...is quite dulled. Which, honestly, has a bit of a freedom to it, because I'm not goal-chasing, I'm just doing what I do because I want to at the moment. But sometimes I miss the energy of being excited for something. I just don't miss the anxiety of trying to achieve.
Hi Heather, taking care of an aging/dying parent is hard. I think it's particularly hard for us autistic people because of all the dealing with hospitals, doctors, medical staff, etc. And of course it's hard seeing a parent suffer. I am still recovering from caring for my dad the last couple of years. It takes time. So I get it. I can relate to just about all you said. I hope connecting with our community is helping. Please have a good weekend and keep posting!
I know where you’re at mentally it’s a strange place. It’s almost bordering on the pit of nihilism. The only thing I can tell you about the possibility of it getting better is the strange sense of acceptance that comes eventually. One of the things that I’ve come to realize about my burn out because my absolute lack of long-term goals anymore, I believe primarily because I am in a daily survival mode, similar to yours where I’m just trying to get through every day. So I’ve kind of adopted this mindset of i’m going to ride this thing out good or bad just to see how it ends. The reality is everything ends. I don’t dwell on it anymore I know finalities coming eventually so I’m just going to see what happens until then. I don’t really have a plan and I don’t really care that I don’t. I just try not to hurt anybody or do anything that hurts anybody.
I have never had a plan. I’m older now than I thought I would ever make it. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open with your mind so I don’t feel so alone.
You aren’t the only one.. all of this is so relatable. Thank you for being brave enough to voice it for all of us who feel the same 🖤
Big love to you Heather. This is good content, raw, and relatable. Thank you for posting 💕
I have never had a plan. I’m older now than I thought I would ever make it. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open with your mind so I don’t feel so alone.
Resignation is a good word for it. Even as I rebuild after burnout, I feel a sense of "so what" towards anything I might do or accomplish. I go forward because what else am I going to do. But the passion for...anything...is quite dulled. Which, honestly, has a bit of a freedom to it, because I'm not goal-chasing, I'm just doing what I do because I want to at the moment. But sometimes I miss the energy of being excited for something. I just don't miss the anxiety of trying to achieve.
Hi Heather, taking care of an aging/dying parent is hard. I think it's particularly hard for us autistic people because of all the dealing with hospitals, doctors, medical staff, etc. And of course it's hard seeing a parent suffer. I am still recovering from caring for my dad the last couple of years. It takes time. So I get it. I can relate to just about all you said. I hope connecting with our community is helping. Please have a good weekend and keep posting!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and connecting. It is always helpful to hear you're not alone in your experiences.
I know where you’re at mentally it’s a strange place. It’s almost bordering on the pit of nihilism. The only thing I can tell you about the possibility of it getting better is the strange sense of acceptance that comes eventually. One of the things that I’ve come to realize about my burn out because my absolute lack of long-term goals anymore, I believe primarily because I am in a daily survival mode, similar to yours where I’m just trying to get through every day. So I’ve kind of adopted this mindset of i’m going to ride this thing out good or bad just to see how it ends. The reality is everything ends. I don’t dwell on it anymore I know finalities coming eventually so I’m just going to see what happens until then. I don’t really have a plan and I don’t really care that I don’t. I just try not to hurt anybody or do anything that hurts anybody.
Thank you so much for connecting, I am just taking it day by day and you're right, it does feel a lot like nihilism.
I have never had a plan. I’m older now than I thought I would ever make it. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open with your mind so I don’t feel so alone.