Things I have given up: Makeup, fancy (uncomfortable) clothes and shoes, christmas cards, giving the '110%' at work, paying bills manually (autopay is amazing), some amount of house cleaning, micromanaging my kids, long hair. I added in exercise with my husband, which helped because I think it improved my sleep. Fixing sleep helps everything.
This is such a hard pill to swallow. I'm in that 'I've rested, why am I not better' stage and I'm also in college. I might need to do things I don't want to, like quitting a job I love because it's too much social interaction, or letting my place be messy unless someone is coming over, or not pushing to do more extensive hobbies like drawing from scratch. It's really difficult to let go of stuff but... you're right. Thank you for the advice.
i had no idea autistic burnout was even a thing till i started following you and other autistic creators and everything you said explained a lot of what i was feeling throughout most of my life especially your brain tricking you into not resting and pushing yourself too much and i can have an tendency to push myself way too much especially when it came to when i started getting more into filming youtube content and all of last year my goal was to make sure to rest and not push myself too much and it's an goal this year to where while i wanna do this or that, sometimes i gotta remember my limits cause burnout is not an fun thing to deal with (also been feeling burned out from my job mostly cause of how long i been doing it and im looking into doing something different and thankfully everyone has been understanding about my burnout recently) anyways amazing video as always Morgan :}
Thank you so much for your video Morgan. You made me reallize that I''ve probably been in a autistic burnout for a while now. I had a working accident back in 2021 that left me with physical pain, physical limitations and mental struggles. After watching many videos and reading on the subject, I found out I'm probably autistic and ADHD. I had to quit my job and have to learn computer work that I don't understand and hate My brain keeps telling me I'm stupid and i'm so frustrated and crying all the time.I feel like no one understands me and they just see me as lasy when I call in sick at school because I am so tired. Sorry about this long message Every words you said in your video is exactly how I feel.
I was definitely burnt out in 2021 (though I thought I had depression because of some of the issues occurring in my life), as the burnout started getting better, I thought I was good enough to go back to school. It's been a struggle and I keep having to push back my graduation. Now I'm finding out that my burnout probably never ended because I never let it fully recover. It's helpful knowing that there are other people in a similar situation. 💙
I'm actually starting to tear up for a VERY long time I've been in autistic burnout without knowing it and this is so accurate to all of the problems I've been having and i can finally start working towards fixing it and get better now that i know the problem. Thank you so so much. A very much earned like and subscribe from me.
I literally just found your Autism communication video and it resonated with me so much, that I ran to your channel to see if you had a video about Autistic burnout, and oh, look! 🤣❤️❤️
I think it's very important that you mentioned that you can literally just be sitting on the couch and still not be resting because that in particular is something that someone from the outside looking in will never even consider as a possibility but it's something that happens a lot, especially if you have autism and anxiety or autism and ADHD.
I have an adult dx for adhd but not autism and after losing my job bc I couldn’t recover from the death of my ESA I finally started self reflecting and considering maybe it’s not only ADHD. And then her saying losing the ability to cook and I started crying bc that’s exactly what I’m struggling with most right now bc it’s not a responsibility I can just stop feeding myself. But I too have been telling myself it’s just ADHD or being selfish/lazy by not doing chores and maybe I should actually seek an assessment (I’m just scared 😢)
Thank you so much. Your video today and about communication trauma helped me realize I am definitely in autistic burnout; previously I had only occasionally wondered. Helps with the self- recrimination a lot! Now I need to scrape together enough energy to find a new therapist, yippee! 🙃🩵😮
This is the first visit to your channel. I was dxed with aspbergers/autism 2.5 years ago. I was 64. I was already burned out, but didn't know it was autism since I didn't know I was autistic. I've been in severe burnout for several decades. See, I worked full time in a library (dealing with lots of people). And, when I was 36, my dad had a massive stroke and needed 24/7 care. I still lived at home, and mom and I cared for him. I had also lost 155 lbs, and was determined to keep on with excessive exercise. The stroke happened in 1994. Within a few years, mom and I were both burned out (I'm certain she had autism). As you said about giving up something, I had to give up exercise. I gave up exercise (got fat again) because my choices were give up work, exercise, or the life/death issues with dad. So away went exercise. Dad died 13 years later, in 2007. Right away, besides burnout, mom became I'll and I spent the next 11 years caring for her. (I had 5 siblings who mostly said no when I asked for help. They all live in town). I retired at age 50 with a very small pension, because something else had to go. I usually didn't know how to keep going. Mom died in 2018, and I've been trying to recover ever since. As you suggested, at that time I had to put things down. I can usually do 1 thing per day. Laundry on one day, for example. I watch a great niece for an afternoon/week. Groceries. I keep the house pretty picked up, but don't often dust/vacuum. My brain tells me I'm lazy. I know others think I'm lazy. Others think I have nothing to show for my life (I really wanted to find a spouse and have kids. But I had parents). No one thinks I could be burned out like this. Quarantine was good for me because I was isolated. Laid on the couch and read from my kindle. (I dare anyone to do caregiving 24/7 for 24 years, with 14 years connected to working full time.) So, people don't believe I'm burned out. I am very slowly beginning to recover, yet I know that 30 years after dad's stroke, at age 66, I'll never be strong and energetic again. I know this is long. But it took a lot to get me this burned out. And I knew this burnout was different than, say, burnout from studying. When I can't care for myself, I doubt I have anyone to help.
@@InterrobangInterrobang thank you. I wish I'd been able to set boundaries. However, even now I don't know what I could have done differently. Doing less would have meant they had to go to a nursing home. And they would have died years earlier.
@@maryhazlett That's the paradox. Each moment you give, Is another tiny universe. Like light from a gentle star, You give people life. But then, Instead of receiving a gift, You are the gift. I hope you try to be your gift to you, And give yourself life. And i hope you find the smaller you, In every tiny universe looking back at you, So you can know how you made them feel, too. Sorry if the poetics are too dense, i just want you to remember that, ...You matter.
I am very sorry to hear that happened to you, and I am very sorry to read about the loss of your parents. You didn't deserve that, and you were taken advantage of by your siblings. It happens, but it comes at a steep cost. Nonetheless, know this: you are incredibly resilient and did something that few could ever match, and one day, you will recover enough to summon all of the vitality you have left to live a vibrant and glorious life completely on your own terms, but you need to prioritize your health and well-being in all of their facets in order to be able to experience that. May you recover fully soon!!! Also, cut out anyone who calls you lazy. They are literal dead weight and hinder your recovery. The sooner you cut them out, the more easily you will gain metaphorical strength and energy back. Internally, show yourself grace, and remind yourself that the rest is essential to recover your life force. You can still get married, and even if biological kids are a long stretch now even with fertility treatments, you can adopt if you so choose. Your life does not always have to be about self sacrifice and burnout, but be aware of your current limits and rest more to restore higher and higher set points.
I was in autistic burnout for 5 years but never had a word for it. My depression assessment was often not reflective of what I was experiencing which made me feel all the more like a lazy person. I couldn't shower for months, I could only eat food if it was frozen or takeout, etc. Now, I've been able to slowly ease routines back into my life, I shower every other day, I keep up with tasks, etc. But I absolutely had to go through a LOT for this. Thank you. Good luck, beautiful people.
I can tell you have garnered a lot of wisdom during your burnout! This is a great video. I really appreciate how clearly and concisely your recovery steps are laid out. Highly recommend this video to anyone else suspecting they are dealing with autistic burnout or anyone who has a loved one they suspect is in autistic burnout. If I had known this stuff years ago, I could have maybe been a lot easier on myself and prevented the various severe burnouts I can remember experiencing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been going through burnout myself and your videos have been enlightening and helpful. Seeing others explain what they are feeling has helped me spot what I have been simply accepting as "just a thing I do" and realize it's not just a " thing" thank you.
I’m an undiagnosed autism but I hate brushing my teeth, showering, social contact, and a lot more and I don’t know how to tell my parents I think I’m autisc even my school counselor thinks I have autism and I’m 11 years old male I hope someone can help. Thank you Morgan for helping relise I’m autistic tru watching ur videos and this video help me understand what I’m going thru right now ❤ keep up great work and I have already hit autistic burnout
definitely try to communicate that to your parents and get assessed! of course it's not always a safe environment at home but the sooner you make those changes to accommodate yourself, the better :)
Even if you don't feel ready to tell them, that you think you are autistic, try to communicate your needs to them. For example, if you are struggling with sensory issues, maybe tell them that it exhausts you how loud everything is and that you would like to wear earphones or earplugs. Maybe explaining your needs is easier than telling them you think you are autistic.
A lot of afab AuDHDers are hypermobile or have connective tissue disorders and this predisposes them to ME/CFS, PEM and Long COVID conditions. This can greatly contribute to the physical and mental exhaustion factor alongside cognitive and emotional drain from pushing through sensory overload and executive dysfunction.
Yeah, this has been my experience. I'm just recovering after almost a decade. From like 30 to 40. Just finally accepting that this all might be autism. I masked really well. But during burn out I lost it all. I finally felt like I just didn't understand people and needed to stay away from all stimulation and all that. A lot of my little quirks rose into conscious thought. Like my inability to touch certain materials without flipping out. I realize now I hid all this things. They felt like evidence I was insane. The funny thing is I have been labeled with half a dozen mental illnesses (probably many of them falsely) because no one diagnosed me with autism. Thanks for the videos. Hopefully getting an official diagnosis soon.
I am experiencing this but I have nobody I can lean on 😢 not one person. Plus I have to take care of my aging mother. Sometimes I hope to get a terminal illness just to be able to rest, how messed up is that
I have had those feelings too. If you have the energy for it maybe call around to autism centers in your area and see if you qualify for any services or assistance. I’m sorry you are in that position❤️❤️ we need more resources so badly 😢
Been there. Only it was the children I had to take care of. The thoughts about terminal illness were a help actually. Because it wouldn't help me accomplish my responsibilities. So it actually made me take my responsibilities slightly less seriously, remembering I had to survive to take care of them. Remembering everything would just get worse for everybody else if I didn't see to it that I survived in reasonably good condition. Take care, you're not alone in this situation
I went to get an autism diagnosis two years ago and they were confused and uncertain (because of my ADHD and because I was gifted and talked so fast) and asked me if I had a current issue that needed addressing or if I was just curious and I said just curious and they sent me home without a diagnosis. Looking back, I was pushing down the issues I did have and trying to get that diagnosis took all the energy I had to advocate for myself out of me and it failed and I pushed myself further. I've been living on the absolute minimum (living with my parents, unemployed, genuinely in bed for over twenty hours on a normal day and just getting up for meals) for years now after I quit a job that was hell for me after a very stressful phase of unemployment after I graduated from a degree where I just had to hand in my thesis without actually finishing it because I had no energy left in me after I had already switched to a new place because I couldn't stand my previous environment and degree anymore. I graduated both times (thanks to the giftedness I guess), but I never got out of it what I wanted. I am just now slowly having days where I have the clarity to realise that all the other days were foggy. I sometimes have days where I can get things done that help my progress, like tackle my lifelong hoarding issue I'm surrounded by every day, try to do something creative I enjoy, apply to jobs I'm not ready for to keep up the facade and then still feel the sting with every rejection or sometimes try to understand my mental health better by confronting myself with videos like this or books by people I admire and know I could learn a lot from. What you said about allowing yourself to rest without shame really resonated with me because I am hiding my struggles and that might be why I can't fix them, because I'm pretending that I'm fine and that I'm not a burden on my parents and family and that I can drive them or do them favours that are just a fraction of the support they give me without asking for that explanation because they always knew I just worked differently, but do take me out for the whole day and don't allow me to put myself and my healing first. I don't know if I'm autistic or in burnout, I just know that I'm not living the life I want to be living and I don't know what to change anymore. I am, however, at the point where I can attack little things baby step by baby step and, even though they are funny from the outside because I'm quirky and messy and lazy, be a little proud of myself for it.
@@im-radiobecouse many profesionals confuse autistic traits with ADHD symptoms. I could guess that most people diagnosed with ADHD are autistic, becouse autistic traits are making ADHD really stand out, that's why ADHD specialists treat undiagnosed autism traits as ADHD traits. Shortly, it should be named autistic burnout, not ADHD. However it has to be said, that anyone can burnout, however treshhold for non autistic people is much higher
i found out i was autistic just this past june at 18. turning 19 next month.. school really took a toll on me. you never really realize how long you spend ur life in school until its all over. the pandemic definitely triggered the slow downfall and worsening of my burnout, the layers slowly coming off eventually leading to my diagnosis. now i have to rethink everything, its so frustrating. i want to be like everyone else; suceeding in college, getting a job, moving out and away from home.. but i cant, at least not anytime soon. its so hard to not compare myself to others my age. i just feel so incredibly stuck. it feels like all im doing is wasting my time. i have such a hard time connecting with people and making new friends, especially right now where its hard to access people (not having a job or being in school).. i would kill for a therapist specializing in neurodivergence, i just dont fully know where to look, or if i can even afford it. im just so tired, i really am. certain things are getting worse like my sensory sensitivities and processing words and conversations. my sense of identity has been going down the drain the past couple years as well. im trans and queer and i just dont fully understand who i am and what i want out of my life. sorry this is so long. theres just so much going on yet nothing at all, does that make sense? i dont know what to do.. im trying to rest but what even is resting??? its really crazy how i seriously just have to rethink my entire self and way of living to accommodate to a disability i didnt even know i had. we deserve so much better.
Morgan, I follow you on tiktok and your experience and traits seem more similar to mine than most creators I've run across. Glad you're over here, too, and just wanted to say thank you for sharing because I truly feel less alone hearing you talk about what late dx is like, and I hope you know you're not alone, either. Burnout leading to seeking help was also how I discovered I'm autistic & adhd. I relate to the guilt of letting others take over. For me it's my husband. He's wonderful and we've been married bffs for 20 years, and I think that's WHY it's so hard to let go of my independence and watch him do all my stuff. It feels very shameful, but I know that's part of internalized ableism as well. Thank you for sharing where you're at and helping others to understand and heal.
I relate to Morgan more than other creators as well. I’m glad that you at least have someone to help you but I do get that feeling of guilt of someone else doing your work because I feel like I over work myself and I hate asking for help because of that guilt that I also get. I thought I had that someone to help me but my boyfriend broke up with me and I don’t blame him because he needed someone to help him more than him helping me. I’m at the point where I’m isolating myself so much every single person I know is calling me lazy and I then think that and it feels like it becomes reality because of it. I’m autistic but nobody believes it anymore because I’m too good at masking? I don’t know why they don’t think I have it anymore I literally got a diagnosis of being autistic and they are basically now trying to undiagnose me because I’m not like the autistic little boys which is frustrating because they don’t know that there are different types of autism. I literally feel like I have no one to look up to now and it leads me to hide out in my room all alone only to get called lazy again. I also don’t eat much of anything either I actually have to force myself to eat something to stay healthy or something. I want the best for myself but it’s so hard because no one believes anything I tell them about myself like they think they know me better than I know myself it’s so frustrating and saddening I get so depressed and then I have to hide it because if I tell them I’m depressed then it feel like I’m being attention seeking or something but I only want to help myself and no one wants to help me even if they say they do want to help they make it worse and I don’t know how to tell them…
@baileyplayz1844 I hear you. I'm sorry it's so hard and that you feel alone. 😔 People want quick solutions for things, and autism is more of a long explanation that requires repeated solves. This isn't your fault and is just the reality of the neurotype. Your dx is supposed to be a tool that helps you, and it sounds like they are disregarding that which is unfair. I hope it gets better and that they will be more open to hearing you, and understanding your perspective. I am exhausted from having no one see life through my eyes and having to conform to everyone else's way of things even though it doesn't help or make sense to me. I hope you will find more connections with people in the community and that you see a light at the end of the tunnel, where you will be more in control of your environment, your schedule and the company you keep. ☺️🥰 You deserve support and validation to keep you afloat. I'm sunfishbaby on tiktok if you'd like to stay in touch!
Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us, I am 25 and questioning if I'm autistic (for like half a year) because autistic burnout explains 100% how I felt for the last two years (with some weeks of depression here and there too). I couldn't study anymore, I didn't get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom or get take out (because I couldn't cook or get groceries anymore) I coulnd't talk or chat with friends, but it's not like I didn't WANT to, I just couldn't... i still managed to clean the house sometimes because I had roommates, but my room had become a trash dump and I could only do things related to my favourite games or books unless I was sleeping, or trying to sleep. I stopped brushing my teeth too unless I knew I HAD to see other people and I was so exhausted without being tired, I was so ashamed and I felt like a burden (still do). It was my last year of Uni and I managed to do the last exam (total luck I have no idea how I did it) and after that I had to start my thesis but I am still at the beginning, I went back to live at my parent's house and I've been stuck in this limbo of "I did rest enough, go on to do your things, why aren't you studying? You lost so many chances to give your thesis already, you are just leeching your family's money now, you're not good even to keep the house clean how do you think you'll be able to do your thesis?" both from my idiot brain and from my family sometimes, even if they don't see that they do it... I am going to therapy and I am trying to get myself back, the person that was able to be good at school and be a good kid and be responsible etc... but I guess I have to give it up, it probably wasn't me anyway but it was the version of me that I thought everyone wanted...
This is so me! I've kind of known for a while now, but this video really makes me wonder if my on-again, off-again challenges for the past three years is me repeatedly almost overcoming burnout, thinking everything's fine, and then going back to my old normal only to get to the point where I can't function and start to spiral emotionally/mentally. I'm really really bad at not letting myself rest and gaslighting myself into thinking that I've rested for long enough. It doesn't help that I'm really good at school and base my external identity on that. But maybe someday we can learn to be kinder to ourselves. 💙
I really resonate with what you're saying, I'm in the same situation as you with my thesis, except that I'm 30 and I'm supposed to be working by now, that puts more pressure on me. I spent the entire previous year worrying only about eating, sleeping and cleaning myself without being able to advance what I was supposed to be doing. Now I'm better but the thought that I'm useless and that I won't be able to keep up when I go out to work in the world grips me. I wish you the best and I hope you can finish your thesis, as I hope to finish mine.
@@Cherigaaru thank you! I hope that you can do it too, I'm sorry you feel like that but I totally get it... More time passes the worse it gets for me, at least thinking about "peer pressure". I mean, my sister is studying AND working and already lives in a rented house with bf+dog and she's just 22 it's so crazy idk how she can do it, and I think "maybe if she can, I can too" but that's bs because we're different people, and I also know she's exhausted and she wants to stop to have all that stuff to do, because that's not sustainable even for a NT lol I doubt any ND could do it for long periods of time without support
Well said! You articulated it so very well. Morgan, I am so proud of you for finding the patience for what you need in your healing. Sending you a hug 💕💕💗
I've been in burnout for 6 years and this video is when I found that out. I am now worried that if I don't recover from burnout soon, I will encounter financial difficulties through being unable to get a job. There are practical issues I have with applying the theory of autistic burnout to my case. You say that the cure for it is rest; what counts as rest? Is playing video games rest? Am I resting when I am watching television or reading a novel? What about things that are physically but not mentally taxing, such as working out at the gym?
Don't worry about not having a script for the video. You did great! I understood everything perfectly and there was no chaos in it. ❤ Btw. I want to thank you for the videos you make for us! As a autistic woman, your channel is a safe space for me. I'm learning new stuff about the spectrum and I'm surprised how many people deal with similar problems as I do. Thank you again. ❤ Sending a lot of love for you! 💖
i have depression, a vaping addiction, soon to get a drug addiction, autistic, have adhd, asperger’s, possibly ocd, possibly tourette’s, suicidal, and much more. im sooooo healthy :D
I havent' finished the video yet (now at 3:15), but just an FYI: burn out sounds a lot like what you're describing. People who say "I sometimes get a little burn out as well" do not know what burn out is. Actual burn out is just as debilitating as what you are describing for autistic burnout.
This video hit me pretty hard... I'm definitely burnt out, though I have not yet figured out how much of that is due to my autism (though the more I look into it, the more that seems to be a huge factor). I think I'm still far enough away from a total collapse to fend that off, though that also feels like a struggle I should give up. I love the "let go of responsibilities you want to let go of" (or however you phrased it). I know that that is something I should do, but it is definitely *not* something I want to do. Because of that there are no responsibilities I want to let go. If anything, even though I don't like to do house work, it is becoming more important that that is something I *can* do. I hope this video reached me in time. I am in therapy, though I'm looking for a new therapist, who understands autism a lot better. Ramble over, thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this. 🤗
Thank you. I’m 30 and about 10 months into a severe autistic burnout. It took me a few months to give up my work and my business and really stop working completely, but I haven’t worked this year. I got an autism diagnosis 6 months ago. Your videos have really helped. It’s so hard to learn to take it slow. Im definitely at that “I’m bored and a bit better but definitely so far from being recovered completely.
Thank you for your videos and for sharing this part of your struggle. My wife and I are autistic and have each faced burnout before in life without even knowing we were autistic. It’s so scary to not know what is wrong with you and to be facing such an uphill battle against something like autistic burnout. More people need to share their stories just like you are, because it gives us so much hope to see people like you face it and learn from it and come out on the other side
this is a really helpful video. i really appreciate the insight. needed to hear this today. it's really nice having a fellow young autistic woman that i can really relate too in terms of autistic expeciance. i'm also getting out of the super intense autistic burnout but still a long way to go. just glad i'm not so exhaused all the time anymore. still struggling with daily tasks but at least i can handle some more things now. i find it really helpful to hear from people who know we're not just being lazy and not just anxious and depressed. i'm 23 now, diagnosed autism at 22, adhd at 21, similar to you. i really appreciate your presence online morgan
This video didn't feel all over the place to me. I thought it was natural and easy to follow. Thanks for another great video ! I'm currently trying to recover from autistic burnout myself, and your videos help ❤
I show symptoms of autism and definitely symptoms of schizophrenia. It means a lot to me that there is a female out there that can relate to me. Please keep bringing more awareness to this and keep helping women who suffer with mental illness. I saw your video about girls with autism and it makes sense that I'm more attracted to girls with autism cuz I have autism as well lol 😅 thank you for letting us know we are not alone! I'm proud of you!
When you try to add things, keep in mind that WHAT you add is about as important as HOW you do the things you add. If you do the right thing in a way that is wrong for you, then it costs disproportionate amounts of energy. Optimizing approaches is powerful. Your video is just fine.
I don't have a diagnosis but my therapist and I are pretty sure I'm in autistic burnout, and have experienced it multiple times because I've been put into a caretaker role my entire life, willingly or otherwise. I hate that you have to work so hard to not work so hard.
I am making a graphic novel on adhd and asd. Your videos help me understand what autism really is. I have adhd but hearing an autistic person talk about neurodivergence, and not google is really awesome and helpful.
Can I ask more about it? I'm studying creative writing and could have stuff that help you. I'm trying to do something similar. How are you creating the graphic novel?
@@benjaminguyer7692 I have a mentor who is a mental health professional and another who is helping me with the drawings. The project is for school so i am supplied with all the things that are needed. Im using pencils and paper to create it and i already have the storyline but thank you for your support!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! Clearly, having a job, a university project and a master's thesis to write, all at the same time, is not sustainable for me. It happened to me as well. At 26, my parents had to cook for me again for more than two months. It was, among other stuff, embarrassing for me.
as an autistic person i can say ive probably experienced this. i spent a few months working at an amazon warehouse, right up until christmas... 10+ hour shifts, grueling pace, deafeningly loud equipment, surrounded by hundreds of people in a large open space with my station facing the nearest wall and my back exposed to the entire rest of the place, and just an all around horrible culture in the first place, i would be approached by multiple managers multiple times a day to be told to work faster even when i was pushing myself to work faster than most people there, near the end i started keeping a tally of my own work and figured out they were lying to me to try and get me to work harder saying i was under quota when i was nearly doubling it you wanna speedrun a mental breakdown as an autistic person, work at amazon, theyve got ALL the triggers. lol. so yea one day i just started getting dizzy, cant be falling over next to heavy machinery so i told my boss, they sent me home, went to the doctor that day, i was physically fine, but i couldnt leave the house without feeling like i was about to pass out and/or be physically ill for months. i still have trouble sometimes years later
"I am sure there are people in your life that you can lean on,". That is the problem. There aren't. Sounds like you had an incredibly supportive family. I have housing and food security, basic bills paid for, and that is it. When I reach out for help, I get ignored or gaslit. And crappy health insurance meant getting professional help, actually figuring out what was wrong (not just ASD and ADHD), what shattered my life, has taken about 9 years. And so I am here complaining into the void.
Oh dear, yea, that isn't a fun ride. I am struggling right now with burnout, I am starting to do chores again and taking care of myself. On top of that I need to get a job again. Had quit due to how tired I felt constantly. I am trying to allow myself feel too. Been trying to avoid the responsibilities of dealing with myself. x.x I felt so irritated to go out to eat, a baby started crying and even with my (not noise cancelling) earphones dampening the noise I started to cry because my head started to hurt. ;-;
I've given some of the responsibility of doing the vacuuming to a robovac. It can't get everything and I have to remember to empty the dust bin every week, but at least the floor doesn't feel gritty all the time. Best $300 I've ever spent.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS INTENTLY. 'Burnout' is SUCH a misleading word for autistic burnout'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had at least a couple of these and I think the burnouts get worse the longer you're undiagnosed and the older you get. It was sooo scary and you describe it SO well! Thank you for this!!
I’m going through this right now and I thought I knew a lot about myself, but I didn’t realize other people had gone through literally the exact same thing as me. This is so helpful, thank you for posting this. Luckily for me I also had a previous burnout episode where I improved a lot of things. So I am starting out a lot higher than I was last time. It’s still frustrating the amount of time it’s taking but I’m much more able to accept it than I was last time. The fact that you were able to eventually make it out is also inspiring to me.
I have depended on other people all my life without realizing it or thinking about it. Been in 2 different relationships that covered 20 years of my life from 19 to 39. By 40 I had moved out into my very own first place with my 3 kids from my last relationship. I was suddenly thrown into a completely different world with 3 kids I was responsible for all by MYSELF. I hadn't realized how much support I had with their father or how much I depended on the routine of it all. After 3 months of being on my own I started losing the ability to function. I was getting ANGRY over noises, fast movement, lights. Having meltdowns and yelling for no reason. Forgetting everything. Crying constantly. Couldn't talk to people anymore cause I either forgot simple words I knew or I couldn't get my thoughts out into words so I would get angry and walk off. Then I started stemming constantly. Especially when I was upset. I literally thought I was going crazy. I went to a therapist and they were no help. They said it was depression but I've felt depression and this.. isn't it. This is way worse. It's not the same. It's like I'm not me. I'm more aware that I'm not me and I can't do anything and don't know why but I hate it cause I have kids and they don't understand. I did research for a year that lead to me self diagnosing as Autistic. Then I noticed my 7 year old was just like me. So a year later and more research I got us assessed and I have been diagnosed with Autism and my daughter with Autism and Adhd. It's been 2 years since I went in burnout and still in it. So thank you for this video cause I was beginning to think I'm going to live the rest of my life like this and I can't imagine that. I'm so exhausted from everything I can't even get up to eat. It takes every bit of energy to get up and get my kids ready for school without getting angry. They deserve a better mom and I hate that I am this person for them
I watched a video on burnout by Justin Sung, and I was like that's not burnout you're describing, that's everyday life. Then he started talking about what it's like to burnout multiple times--how burnout comes faster and faster each time--and I realized that Autistic burnout is basically when you've experienced normal burnout so many times that less than a day's work leads to normal burnout--you literally can't do anything. It's like being burnt out on top of being burnt-out.
Interesting. Have managed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME) for about 20 years and there is plenty of info out there on how best to do that ie pacing and resting etc, basically everything you mentioned for dealing with Autistic burnout. Your description of Autistic burnout sounds very similar to my experience with CFS/ME during a long term 'flare up' or 'crash'. Does make me wonder how much of my experience was actually CFS/ME and depression and how much was undiagnosed Autism. In any case I think CFS/ME resources like the Bateman Horne Centre or support groups could be useful to anyone learning to deal with Autistic burnout as it has definitely helped me physically and mentally and been life changing. However there are some approved 'therapies' out there which can actually be harmful to some people, like Graded Exercise Therapy, which i would not recommend. Anyway we can learn to listen to our bodies and learn how to be kind patient and loving with ourselves, it helps so much.
i kinda can’t tell what i’m going through right now?? but i saw this video in my recommended a few months ago and added it to my watch later cause i just had a feeling that maybe i could use some of the info in it and would feel understood i was only diagnosed w ASD (technically asperger’s ig, according to the dx code) and ADHD a few months ago. i’ve been battling depression and anxiety in vain for the last decade and couldn’t fathom why it wasn’t working. nothing i tried helped and it made me angry when people would give me the same stupid coping strategies and say it like it was so easy and simple and then get upset at me when those weren’t helping at all. i’ve been slowly realizing that i don’t think i was working to treat the right thing. i think i was treating a symptom of the real problem which is my ASD/ADHD. i haven’t lost all ability to function thankfully, but my mental state has been steadily deteriorating and i feel like i’m getting worse w my emotional regulation skills. i can’t hold my attention on anything anymore (not in an adhd way exactly) like nothing interests me. there is nothing i want to watch, read, listen to, etc. which makes the loneliness kick in even more intensely bc i can’t seem to distract myself w anything, and i can’t be alone w my own mind anymore bc if i’m stuck like that, unoccupied for more than a few minutes, my brain starts spiraling and thinking about how miserable, depressed, lonely, and unlikable i feel like i am to everyone around me. none of those empty coping skills have helped bc at the end of the day, i think i’m struggling to accept that i am who i am and there are pros and cons to that. letting go of a few responsibilities has kinda helped. but i still can’t tell if autism burnout is what i’m going thru. it’s lasted for like almost 2 years though, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility
I'm mate diagnose at 39. I am almost homeless, lost my family my business my relationship,my self. I am scared to sleep because I wake up with an overwhelming sense of impending doom. I am extremely suicidal, and am trying to accept losing everything and being homeless is where I'm being drawn. I've known I would end up homeless and tried to do everything for that to not happen. I don't know if I'm delusional but I realise how materialistic I am and how muc identify with stuff. I don't think I'm going to make it though. Me being homeless is the pill I have to swallow.
I am soo envious of all these people getting out of autistic burnout in such ways... I have no money and nobody supporting me. But still I have to pay for food and rent... And I am late with taxes... I cannot add responsibilities step by step, they just never go away... :( :( :(
I got burnout in high school. I was diagnosed at 8 and had no idea autistic burnout was a thing until recently. (5 years after it started) I was just confused at how sleep didn't work like it should, sometimes I got 3hrs and could function pretty well, other times I got like 18hrs and could barely leave my bed. I don't know if it's related, but around covid, especially, I got so stressed that I got physically sick. I had a fever for half of the school year, so I had to stay home. Even now, I get sick almost every day after work. I think a lot of it could have been prevented or at least lessened if a single person talked to me about ASD. I was only told I think different and was put in special ed. My school didn't separate what we learned in sped based on what we needed, so I was in a class with people who were struggling with their classwork, looking at pictures and playing boring games. I was in therapy for most of my life. (until I was sent to a cult, but that's other rant). Most of them just did play therapy. I still am not sure how therapy is supposed to work. When I was little, I said I just needed a friend, and the like 4 months where I had a friend were the best months in my life for my mental health.
What if you're on like 4 waiting lists for varoius services? Therapy rarely works in my case, and in the UK it's CBT or bust. I can't gaslight myself into feeling better, but I do understand that works for a lot of people apparently. ADHD assessments are usuallt years long waits, and autism is this alien concept in the UK system. Not to mention job searches and the dread that comes with being ignored/rejected/referred to someoone else
I don't know if I have autistic burnout or what is going on. I'm just crazy, and that's fine. I'll have melt downs all the time for the dumbest reasons. I went to the bathroom, I danced in my house, I looked at an empty water bottle, I burnt my finger, I ate food. All these and more have triggered meltdowns. Then my meltdowns trigger more meltdowns. I'd suggest it is traumatic. Not my opinion though. But I think if a meltdown is so bad that it triggers another meltdown, that meltdown was probably traumatic. So it is my conclusion. The description of my meltdowns is: Everything shuts down, cognition of course, but then my physical body starts to shutdown, I go blind for a bit, my muscles stop working, so I can't walk, sometimes I can crawl at least, I hallucinate, I dissociate, De-realize, De-personalize, physical pain radiating through my entire body. It feels like being tased. These meltdowns last anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 days. It's fine though. I just sit in it until it stops. Not like I have a choice. I mean, the meltdown makes me blind and paralyzed. Am I supposed to do anything like that? Go to the ER? How?! Why!? Just let it happen. It'll stop eventually. Plus I went to the ER, and that just continued the meltdown for the 12 hours I was there, until they finally gave me some morphine. What the heck can I even do with that information? "Hey doc, we need to treat my mental health condition with opioids." I honestly tried that and guess what? They didn't agree of course. But we tried every anti depressant, anti anxiety, anti psychotic, gaba blocker, mood stabilizer, anti histamine, anti inflammatory. I've been going to the doctors for 13 years. I've done everything. That's why I said it's fine. Because I accepted that this is just how my body reacts to stress and there's nothing that can be done to improve it in the acute sense. No one else could accept it. I can't do anything, and I'm going to have debilitating meltdowns and that's fine. Nothing can be done. It hurts, and that's fine too. I'm just complaining, it's called venting. I've fully accepted the nature of pain, and it's ok to complain too. I know it's horrifying to imagine these sets of symptoms. That's how hard it was to accept this for me, and i'm the one living it. I empathize with not wanting to accept this. Sometimes you must allow yourself to exist as you are. Even if you know things may or may not get better. You live today, you exist today. Take care of yourself today. Don't be mean to yourself for something outside your control. The "you" is whoever is reading this, I am out of it. ADHD, loss of executive function, my mind is all over the place. I just accept it. It's all complicated, and I've got numerous conditions so it's al just crazy in my head anyway. which is also fine
Hi Morgan, thank you so much for your videos, they definitely help me a lot to understand myself more and more! I know this has not 100% to do with the video... but I have a question and maybe you could answer it or do a video about this topic? Also, everyone who reads this and has (had) the same issue, could you tell me sth about your experience? It's about AuDHD and meds: Do you take meds? If so, did you notice a difference to "you" before and after taking the meds? The reason why I'm asking this is, that I have ADD and autism and I got to know me for over 30 years without meds. Since my diagnosis 2 years ago I've been taking meds and they help me so much in many aspects regarding the ADD. But I have the impression that it "worsens" the autism traits / that the autism traits become more present now. I assume they were "balanced" by my ADD, like socializing f.e. I don't know how I could manage so many more things during a day. I'm calmer, less restless and stressed out, I struggle less with things like chores and stuff that just has to be done, since I have enough dopamine for that now. But at the same time I know I disappoint my friends by barely chatting with them anymore, I don't take care of my social media accounts anymore even though I should (to push my small biz, engage with followers and customers), I should work out again, etc... but I just can't, because it seems like the time goes by somehow, the day is over and I also don't feel like communicating after a day full of socializing at work.. (my colleagues at work and my boss say I've improved so much, I seem more interested and sociable...) I really don't know.. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do 😅
I'm confused by you saying it mirrors depression, it can lead to depression because your unhappy with having less energy, but you don't have the "sadness" syndrome of depression. Someone in burnout can still go YAY! I won the lotto and be super happy and then energy crash, someone in depression goes oh, yeah it's kinda nice winning, but life sucks, so I'm capped on how much I can enjoy winning.
I've been pushing through this burnout state for the past 15 years, and it got to the point where it ruined my health, and I got an awful autoimmune disease, and it makes it really hard for me to work. And just recently I had to take even more responsibilities, and double the workload, because my mom doesn't understand me at all, and just keeps sabotaging me, and I decided that it's better to do everything myself, than rely on her. I already know it's not going to end well... 😕
I am in the middle of burnout right now and I seriously don't know how to deal with it, especially since taking responsibilities off me actually adds to the responsibilities and overload. I am on a sick leave from work - but in order to keep the sick leave I need to visit the doctor a regularly, and the goverment is also checking on me and I need to explain myself why I was not home when they checked (I don't have to be home, my doctor says I need to get out a lot and met people because I am depressed and staying home will get it worse, goverment workers are just stupid) and prove to them I am unable to work (despite havuing a paper from my doctor proving that). It's stressing me out. I also have a lawsuit to the goverment because they took my disability benefits from me last year (that's when my burnout got much worse as I was forced to work due to no disability benefits, back then I had both disability benefits and a part time job - which is allowed in my country - and I was considering quitting my job because I couldn't deal with the responsibilities). I also need to find therapy because I was unable to go to therapy for past a few years due to working. Which means a lot of travelling, phone calls, human contact and expalining myself to strangers. There is at least 6 month waiting time for a proper therapy so I am attending another therapy for now (so the goverment doesn't take away my sick leave due to not being in thereapy) but its making things wotrse because the therapist keeps telling me I should get up early in the morning and do stuff to get myself acustomed to waking up early and returning to the work and I am lashing out at him because I literally cannot imagine waking up early, since not enough sleep totally deplates me from energy. I have my bills to pay and I am barely getting by because the sick leave is just 80% of my regular wage and even that was barely enough to get by. And I am stressed out because no matter what I do the sick leave will end in a month or two because you can only be on a sick leave for 6 months max and then you either have to return to work, go on a rehab leave (which you have to "have a hope for improvement after therapy" to get and I do not, according to my doctor so I dont have a chance of getting the rehab leave) or get a disability pension (which they took aeway from me last year and which still has ongoing lawsuit, they periodically ask me to send thyem very difficult formal documents to prove "why I think I deserve a disability pension and why I disagree with the people that say I don't deserve a disability pension"). And I can't even return to my family home - not only I might be unable to do all the paperwork if I am in a different city but I also can't deal with my home enviorement. Today I woke up pissed off and couldn't fall back asleep because my mom went into my room early in the morning and she opened a window "to get some air in" and there were birds singing outside which was really loud and annoying sound. She also enters my room a lot and interrupts me asking stupid questions such as "will you eat some soup?", "Do you want some water?" and "What do you want to eat?". I know she is just trying to take care of me but I can't take that kind of interruptions when I am slep deprived and currently focused on something else. I even buzzed off my hair because I couldn't deal with brushing, washing and tying my shoulder lenght hair into a pony tail. I am falling apart.
non autistic burnout is debilitating as well, it is not casual. People with severe burnout do have depression. It is a part of burnout. People with burnout can have severe psychosomatic symptoms like not beeing able to get out of bed, if they want to do sth. This is non autistic burnout, and it also can take years to overcome, if you stop working and first take care of yourself.
Hey Morgan! Could you do a video on different things/activities you did and now still implement in your life to not get burnt out? Ik its different for everyone but it would be helpful to have ideas! Thanks!
@Morgan Foley, during your burn-out, did you notice any corrolation of your personal media/news consumption? ie just watching news of bad stuff would negatively impact your recovery if so would being in a complete news/media isolation would be beneficial solution in retrospect?
Yeah, it sucks when you don't have people you can actually lean on, and dealing with ableist family members and close friends leads to toxic/abusive dynamics. As for rest, I highly recommend yoga nidra. It is a style of guided meditation that mirrors the physiological process of sleep. You practice yoga nidra lying down and can do it on your bed. It differs from other meditation practices in that even novices using recordings, especially those with several rounds of the body scan component, experience localized delta brainwave activity within two weeks of consistent practice. Delta brainwaves are those associated with deep, dreamless sleep, and in this sliw wave sleep, the body us able to heal and regenerate much faster. Unlike during regular physiological sleep, we can enter this state consciously throughout the day, and it is common for people to report that one hour of yoga nidra provides rest equivalent to four hours of sleep. Here is one that worjs pretty well: ua-cam.com/video/OoSchlbBSGE/v-deo.html
I have a pretty strong feeling i have autism. At first i thought i was just shy my whole entire life (besides 3 year in elementry when i was actually able to play with people) But when i saw your videos i related to so much. I did so much research too and now too i realise i hit autistic burnout this year. I went to a new school and a new study where everything got serious and also pretty overwhelming sometimes. Until 1 day i started getting sick(was from stress but wouldnt go away). This lasted the entire year until i left the study.
I got autistic burnout about 10 years ago and it also took me about a year of rest to get out of it… it was really hard because I was living on unemployment benefits and moving back with my parents wasn’t really an option… they also didn’t really support me and weren’t empathetic with what I was going through, they never tried to understand what was going on. I got an autism diagnosis a few years later and it all made so much sense…
Neurodivergence not neurodivergency. It's so difficult to find a therapist who isn't ableist. Some people can't afford one or are on long waiting lists for one. Some people don't have supportive families who can help them.
I know how women mask their autism beautifully however when they have to study university away from their parent homes they experienced the burn out. Diagnosing women on the spectrum is key to help them since nine out of ten women in the spectrum don’t get diagnosed and frequently is misunderstood for mental health problems.
Things I have given up: Makeup, fancy (uncomfortable) clothes and shoes, christmas cards, giving the '110%' at work, paying bills manually (autopay is amazing), some amount of house cleaning, micromanaging my kids, long hair. I added in exercise with my husband, which helped because I think it improved my sleep. Fixing sleep helps everything.
This is such a hard pill to swallow. I'm in that 'I've rested, why am I not better' stage and I'm also in college. I might need to do things I don't want to, like quitting a job I love because it's too much social interaction, or letting my place be messy unless someone is coming over, or not pushing to do more extensive hobbies like drawing from scratch. It's really difficult to let go of stuff but... you're right. Thank you for the advice.
i had no idea autistic burnout was even a thing till i started following you and other autistic creators and everything you said explained a lot of what i was feeling throughout most of my life especially your brain tricking you into not resting and pushing yourself too much and i can have an tendency to push myself way too much especially when it came to when i started getting more into filming youtube content and all of last year my goal was to make sure to rest and not push myself too much and it's an goal this year to where while i wanna do this or that, sometimes i gotta remember my limits cause burnout is not an fun thing to deal with (also been feeling burned out from my job mostly cause of how long i been doing it and im looking into doing something different and thankfully everyone has been understanding about my burnout recently) anyways amazing video as always Morgan :}
I also have aspirations of publishing my message on UA-cam, delayed by my low spirits.
Thank you so much for your video Morgan.
You made me reallize that I''ve probably been in a autistic burnout for a while now.
I had a working accident back in 2021 that left me with physical pain, physical limitations and mental struggles. After watching many videos and reading on the subject, I found out I'm probably autistic and ADHD.
I had to quit my job and have to learn computer work that I don't understand and hate My brain keeps telling me I'm stupid and i'm so frustrated and crying all the time.I feel like no one understands me and they just see me as lasy when I call in sick at school because I am so tired.
Sorry about this long message
Every words you said in your video is exactly how I feel.
I was definitely burnt out in 2021 (though I thought I had depression because of some of the issues occurring in my life), as the burnout started getting better, I thought I was good enough to go back to school. It's been a struggle and I keep having to push back my graduation. Now I'm finding out that my burnout probably never ended because I never let it fully recover. It's helpful knowing that there are other people in a similar situation. 💙
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
I'm actually starting to tear up for a VERY long time I've been in autistic burnout without knowing it and this is so accurate to all of the problems I've been having and i can finally start working towards fixing it and get better now that i know the problem. Thank you so so much. A very much earned like and subscribe from me.
thx so much happy you are recovering ❤
I literally just found your Autism communication video and it resonated with me so much, that I ran to your channel to see if you had a video about Autistic burnout, and oh, look! 🤣❤️❤️
I think it's very important that you mentioned that you can literally just be sitting on the couch and still not be resting because that in particular is something that someone from the outside looking in will never even consider as a possibility but it's something that happens a lot, especially if you have autism and anxiety or autism and ADHD.
I have an adult dx for adhd but not autism and after losing my job bc I couldn’t recover from the death of my ESA I finally started self reflecting and considering maybe it’s not only ADHD. And then her saying losing the ability to cook and I started crying bc that’s exactly what I’m struggling with most right now bc it’s not a responsibility I can just stop feeding myself. But I too have been telling myself it’s just ADHD or being selfish/lazy by not doing chores and maybe I should actually seek an assessment (I’m just scared 😢)
Thank you so much. Your video today and about communication trauma helped me realize I am definitely in autistic burnout; previously I had only occasionally wondered. Helps with the self- recrimination a lot! Now I need to scrape together enough energy to find a new therapist, yippee! 🙃🩵😮
this is random but I love your shirt! where did you get it? thanks so much for your videos btw.
Thankfully i have never had anything like this, sounds like it really sucks and is annoying.
47 seconds ago 1st view!
This is the first visit to your channel. I was dxed with aspbergers/autism 2.5 years ago. I was 64. I was already burned out, but didn't know it was autism since I didn't know I was autistic. I've been in severe burnout for several decades. See, I worked full time in a library (dealing with lots of people). And, when I was 36, my dad had a massive stroke and needed 24/7 care. I still lived at home, and mom and I cared for him. I had also lost 155 lbs, and was determined to keep on with excessive exercise. The stroke happened in 1994. Within a few years, mom and I were both burned out (I'm certain she had autism). As you said about giving up something, I had to give up exercise. I gave up exercise (got fat again) because my choices were give up work, exercise, or the life/death issues with dad. So away went exercise. Dad died 13 years later, in 2007. Right away, besides burnout, mom became I'll and I spent the next 11 years caring for her. (I had 5 siblings who mostly said no when I asked for help. They all live in town). I retired at age 50 with a very small pension, because something else had to go. I usually didn't know how to keep going. Mom died in 2018, and I've been trying to recover ever since. As you suggested, at that time I had to put things down. I can usually do 1 thing per day. Laundry on one day, for example. I watch a great niece for an afternoon/week. Groceries. I keep the house pretty picked up, but don't often dust/vacuum.
My brain tells me I'm lazy. I know others think I'm lazy. Others think I have nothing to show for my life (I really wanted to find a spouse and have kids. But I had parents). No one thinks I could be burned out like this. Quarantine was good for me because I was isolated. Laid on the couch and read from my kindle. (I dare anyone to do caregiving 24/7 for 24 years, with 14 years connected to working full time.) So, people don't believe I'm burned out. I am very slowly beginning to recover, yet I know that 30 years after dad's stroke, at age 66, I'll never be strong and energetic again.
I know this is long. But it took a lot to get me this burned out. And I knew this burnout was different than, say, burnout from studying.
When I can't care for myself, I doubt I have anyone to help.
Holy shit, you had to deal with so much and DO SO MUCH. You deserve to rest
I think you're a hero.
...And that you deserved better. I'm inspired by people like you.
@@InterrobangInterrobang thank you. I wish I'd been able to set boundaries. However, even now I don't know what I could have done differently. Doing less would have meant they had to go to a nursing home. And they would have died years earlier.
@@maryhazlett
That's the paradox. Each moment you give, Is another tiny universe. Like light from a gentle star, You give people life. But then, Instead of receiving a gift, You are the gift. I hope you try to be your gift to you, And give yourself life. And i hope you find the smaller you, In every tiny universe looking back at you, So you can know how you made them feel, too.
Sorry if the poetics are too dense, i just want you to remember that, ...You matter.
I am very sorry to hear that happened to you, and I am very sorry to read about the loss of your parents. You didn't deserve that, and you were taken advantage of by your siblings. It happens, but it comes at a steep cost.
Nonetheless, know this: you are incredibly resilient and did something that few could ever match, and one day, you will recover enough to summon all of the vitality you have left to live a vibrant and glorious life completely on your own terms, but you need to prioritize your health and well-being in all of their facets in order to be able to experience that. May you recover fully soon!!!
Also, cut out anyone who calls you lazy. They are literal dead weight and hinder your recovery. The sooner you cut them out, the more easily you will gain metaphorical strength and energy back. Internally, show yourself grace, and remind yourself that the rest is essential to recover your life force.
You can still get married, and even if biological kids are a long stretch now even with fertility treatments, you can adopt if you so choose. Your life does not always have to be about self sacrifice and burnout, but be aware of your current limits and rest more to restore higher and higher set points.
I was in autistic burnout for 5 years but never had a word for it. My depression assessment was often not reflective of what I was experiencing which made me feel all the more like a lazy person. I couldn't shower for months, I could only eat food if it was frozen or takeout, etc. Now, I've been able to slowly ease routines back into my life, I shower every other day, I keep up with tasks, etc. But I absolutely had to go through a LOT for this. Thank you. Good luck, beautiful people.
This video has me in tears because I now know that I am not a horrible, useless, subhuman creature.
Thank you.
I can tell you have garnered a lot of wisdom during your burnout! This is a great video. I really appreciate how clearly and concisely your recovery steps are laid out. Highly recommend this video to anyone else suspecting they are dealing with autistic burnout or anyone who has a loved one they suspect is in autistic burnout. If I had known this stuff years ago, I could have maybe been a lot easier on myself and prevented the various severe burnouts I can remember experiencing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been going through burnout myself and your videos have been enlightening and helpful. Seeing others explain what they are feeling has helped me spot what I have been simply accepting as "just a thing I do" and realize it's not just a " thing" thank you.
I’m an undiagnosed autism but I hate brushing my teeth, showering, social contact, and a lot more and I don’t know how to tell my parents I think I’m autisc even my school counselor thinks I have autism and I’m 11 years old male I hope someone can help. Thank you Morgan for helping relise I’m autistic tru watching ur videos and this video help me understand what I’m going thru right now ❤ keep up great work and I have already hit autistic burnout
definitely try to communicate that to your parents and get assessed! of course it's not always a safe environment at home but the sooner you make those changes to accommodate yourself, the better :)
Even if you don't feel ready to tell them, that you think you are autistic, try to communicate your needs to them. For example, if you are struggling with sensory issues, maybe tell them that it exhausts you how loud everything is and that you would like to wear earphones or earplugs. Maybe explaining your needs is easier than telling them you think you are autistic.
I brush my teeth in bed now.
A lot of afab AuDHDers are hypermobile or have connective tissue disorders and this predisposes them to ME/CFS, PEM and Long COVID conditions.
This can greatly contribute to the physical and mental exhaustion factor alongside cognitive and emotional drain from pushing through sensory overload and executive dysfunction.
I have autism, POTS and probably EDS (connective tissue disorders). I am always tired.
Yes that's me with pain my worst symptom
Yeah, this has been my experience. I'm just recovering after almost a decade. From like 30 to 40.
Just finally accepting that this all might be autism. I masked really well. But during burn out I lost it all. I finally felt like I just didn't understand people and needed to stay away from all stimulation and all that.
A lot of my little quirks rose into conscious thought. Like my inability to touch certain materials without flipping out. I realize now I hid all this things. They felt like evidence I was insane.
The funny thing is I have been labeled with half a dozen mental illnesses (probably many of them falsely) because no one diagnosed me with autism.
Thanks for the videos. Hopefully getting an official diagnosis soon.
I am experiencing this but I have nobody I can lean on 😢 not one person. Plus I have to take care of my aging mother. Sometimes I hope to get a terminal illness just to be able to rest, how messed up is that
I have had those feelings too. If you have the energy for it maybe call around to autism centers in your area and see if you qualify for any services or assistance. I’m sorry you are in that position❤️❤️ we need more resources so badly 😢
Been there. Only it was the children I had to take care of. The thoughts about terminal illness were a help actually. Because it wouldn't help me accomplish my responsibilities. So it actually made me take my responsibilities slightly less seriously, remembering I had to survive to take care of them. Remembering everything would just get worse for everybody else if I didn't see to it that I survived in reasonably good condition. Take care, you're not alone in this situation
I went to get an autism diagnosis two years ago and they were confused and uncertain (because of my ADHD and because I was gifted and talked so fast) and asked me if I had a current issue that needed addressing or if I was just curious and I said just curious and they sent me home without a diagnosis. Looking back, I was pushing down the issues I did have and trying to get that diagnosis took all the energy I had to advocate for myself out of me and it failed and I pushed myself further. I've been living on the absolute minimum (living with my parents, unemployed, genuinely in bed for over twenty hours on a normal day and just getting up for meals) for years now after I quit a job that was hell for me after a very stressful phase of unemployment after I graduated from a degree where I just had to hand in my thesis without actually finishing it because I had no energy left in me after I had already switched to a new place because I couldn't stand my previous environment and degree anymore. I graduated both times (thanks to the giftedness I guess), but I never got out of it what I wanted. I am just now slowly having days where I have the clarity to realise that all the other days were foggy. I sometimes have days where I can get things done that help my progress, like tackle my lifelong hoarding issue I'm surrounded by every day, try to do something creative I enjoy, apply to jobs I'm not ready for to keep up the facade and then still feel the sting with every rejection or sometimes try to understand my mental health better by confronting myself with videos like this or books by people I admire and know I could learn a lot from. What you said about allowing yourself to rest without shame really resonated with me because I am hiding my struggles and that might be why I can't fix them, because I'm pretending that I'm fine and that I'm not a burden on my parents and family and that I can drive them or do them favours that are just a fraction of the support they give me without asking for that explanation because they always knew I just worked differently, but do take me out for the whole day and don't allow me to put myself and my healing first. I don't know if I'm autistic or in burnout, I just know that I'm not living the life I want to be living and I don't know what to change anymore. I am, however, at the point where I can attack little things baby step by baby step and, even though they are funny from the outside because I'm quirky and messy and lazy, be a little proud of myself for it.
As someone who has Aspergers/ASD and ADHD, and has gone through ADHD burnout, its great to see this in the media, and I'm glad you are feeling better!
Me too
WAIT I DIDNT KNOW ADHD BURNOUT EXISTED WHATTT
I stg if im going thru both 😭😭
It’s not called Asperger’s anymore
@@theawkwardautistic👍
@@im-radiobecouse many profesionals confuse autistic traits with ADHD symptoms. I could guess that most people diagnosed with ADHD are autistic, becouse autistic traits are making ADHD really stand out, that's why ADHD specialists treat undiagnosed autism traits as ADHD traits.
Shortly, it should be named autistic burnout, not ADHD. However it has to be said, that anyone can burnout, however treshhold for non autistic people is much higher
i found out i was autistic just this past june at 18. turning 19 next month.. school really took a toll on me. you never really realize how long you spend ur life in school until its all over. the pandemic definitely triggered the slow downfall and worsening of my burnout, the layers slowly coming off eventually leading to my diagnosis. now i have to rethink everything, its so frustrating. i want to be like everyone else; suceeding in college, getting a job, moving out and away from home.. but i cant, at least not anytime soon. its so hard to not compare myself to others my age. i just feel so incredibly stuck. it feels like all im doing is wasting my time. i have such a hard time connecting with people and making new friends, especially right now where its hard to access people (not having a job or being in school).. i would kill for a therapist specializing in neurodivergence, i just dont fully know where to look, or if i can even afford it. im just so tired, i really am. certain things are getting worse like my sensory sensitivities and processing words and conversations. my sense of identity has been going down the drain the past couple years as well. im trans and queer and i just dont fully understand who i am and what i want out of my life.
sorry this is so long. theres just so much going on yet nothing at all, does that make sense? i dont know what to do.. im trying to rest but what even is resting??? its really crazy how i seriously just have to rethink my entire self and way of living to accommodate to a disability i didnt even know i had. we deserve so much better.
Morgan, I follow you on tiktok and your experience and traits seem more similar to mine than most creators I've run across. Glad you're over here, too, and just wanted to say thank you for sharing because I truly feel less alone hearing you talk about what late dx is like, and I hope you know you're not alone, either. Burnout leading to seeking help was also how I discovered I'm autistic & adhd. I relate to the guilt of letting others take over. For me it's my husband. He's wonderful and we've been married bffs for 20 years, and I think that's WHY it's so hard to let go of my independence and watch him do all my stuff. It feels very shameful, but I know that's part of internalized ableism as well. Thank you for sharing where you're at and helping others to understand and heal.
I relate to Morgan more than other creators as well. I’m glad that you at least have someone to help you but I do get that feeling of guilt of someone else doing your work because I feel like I over work myself and I hate asking for help because of that guilt that I also get. I thought I had that someone to help me but my boyfriend broke up with me and I don’t blame him because he needed someone to help him more than him helping me. I’m at the point where I’m isolating myself so much every single person I know is calling me lazy and I then think that and it feels like it becomes reality because of it. I’m autistic but nobody believes it anymore because I’m too good at masking? I don’t know why they don’t think I have it anymore I literally got a diagnosis of being autistic and they are basically now trying to undiagnose me because I’m not like the autistic little boys which is frustrating because they don’t know that there are different types of autism. I literally feel like I have no one to look up to now and it leads me to hide out in my room all alone only to get called lazy again. I also don’t eat much of anything either I actually have to force myself to eat something to stay healthy or something. I want the best for myself but it’s so hard because no one believes anything I tell them about myself like they think they know me better than I know myself it’s so frustrating and saddening I get so depressed and then I have to hide it because if I tell them I’m depressed then it feel like I’m being attention seeking or something but I only want to help myself and no one wants to help me even if they say they do want to help they make it worse and I don’t know how to tell them…
@baileyplayz1844 I hear you. I'm sorry it's so hard and that you feel alone. 😔 People want quick solutions for things, and autism is more of a long explanation that requires repeated solves. This isn't your fault and is just the reality of the neurotype. Your dx is supposed to be a tool that helps you, and it sounds like they are disregarding that which is unfair. I hope it gets better and that they will be more open to hearing you, and understanding your perspective. I am exhausted from having no one see life through my eyes and having to conform to everyone else's way of things even though it doesn't help or make sense to me. I hope you will find more connections with people in the community and that you see a light at the end of the tunnel, where you will be more in control of your environment, your schedule and the company you keep. ☺️🥰 You deserve support and validation to keep you afloat. I'm sunfishbaby on tiktok if you'd like to stay in touch!
Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us, I am 25 and questioning if I'm autistic (for like half a year) because autistic burnout explains 100% how I felt for the last two years (with some weeks of depression here and there too). I couldn't study anymore, I didn't get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom or get take out (because I couldn't cook or get groceries anymore) I coulnd't talk or chat with friends, but it's not like I didn't WANT to, I just couldn't... i still managed to clean the house sometimes because I had roommates, but my room had become a trash dump and I could only do things related to my favourite games or books unless I was sleeping, or trying to sleep. I stopped brushing my teeth too unless I knew I HAD to see other people and I was so exhausted without being tired, I was so ashamed and I felt like a burden (still do). It was my last year of Uni and I managed to do the last exam (total luck I have no idea how I did it) and after that I had to start my thesis but I am still at the beginning, I went back to live at my parent's house and I've been stuck in this limbo of "I did rest enough, go on to do your things, why aren't you studying? You lost so many chances to give your thesis already, you are just leeching your family's money now, you're not good even to keep the house clean how do you think you'll be able to do your thesis?" both from my idiot brain and from my family sometimes, even if they don't see that they do it... I am going to therapy and I am trying to get myself back, the person that was able to be good at school and be a good kid and be responsible etc... but I guess I have to give it up, it probably wasn't me anyway but it was the version of me that I thought everyone wanted...
This is so me! I've kind of known for a while now, but this video really makes me wonder if my on-again, off-again challenges for the past three years is me repeatedly almost overcoming burnout, thinking everything's fine, and then going back to my old normal only to get to the point where I can't function and start to spiral emotionally/mentally. I'm really really bad at not letting myself rest and gaslighting myself into thinking that I've rested for long enough. It doesn't help that I'm really good at school and base my external identity on that. But maybe someday we can learn to be kinder to ourselves. 💙
I really resonate with what you're saying, I'm in the same situation as you with my thesis, except that I'm 30 and I'm supposed to be working by now, that puts more pressure on me. I spent the entire previous year worrying only about eating, sleeping and cleaning myself without being able to advance what I was supposed to be doing. Now I'm better but the thought that I'm useless and that I won't be able to keep up when I go out to work in the world grips me. I wish you the best and I hope you can finish your thesis, as I hope to finish mine.
@@Cherigaaru thank you! I hope that you can do it too, I'm sorry you feel like that but I totally get it... More time passes the worse it gets for me, at least thinking about "peer pressure". I mean, my sister is studying AND working and already lives in a rented house with bf+dog and she's just 22 it's so crazy idk how she can do it, and I think "maybe if she can, I can too" but that's bs because we're different people, and I also know she's exhausted and she wants to stop to have all that stuff to do, because that's not sustainable even for a NT lol I doubt any ND could do it for long periods of time without support
Well said! You articulated it so very well. Morgan, I am so proud of you for finding the patience for what you need in your healing. Sending you a hug 💕💕💗
I've been in burnout for 6 years and this video is when I found that out. I am now worried that if I don't recover from burnout soon, I will encounter financial difficulties through being unable to get a job.
There are practical issues I have with applying the theory of autistic burnout to my case. You say that the cure for it is rest; what counts as rest? Is playing video games rest? Am I resting when I am watching television or reading a novel? What about things that are physically but not mentally taxing, such as working out at the gym?
@@mmm365 : That's vague.
Don't worry about not having a script for the video. You did great! I understood everything perfectly and there was no chaos in it. ❤
Btw. I want to thank you for the videos you make for us! As a autistic woman, your channel is a safe space for me. I'm learning new stuff about the spectrum and I'm surprised how many people deal with similar problems as I do. Thank you again. ❤ Sending a lot of love for you! 💖
i have depression, a vaping addiction, soon to get a drug addiction, autistic, have adhd, asperger’s, possibly ocd, possibly tourette’s, suicidal, and much more.
im sooooo healthy :D
I havent' finished the video yet (now at 3:15), but just an FYI: burn out sounds a lot like what you're describing. People who say "I sometimes get a little burn out as well" do not know what burn out is. Actual burn out is just as debilitating as what you are describing for autistic burnout.
Great perspective! I’m autistic and this is the first time I ever heard about autistic burnout.
This video hit me pretty hard... I'm definitely burnt out, though I have not yet figured out how much of that is due to my autism (though the more I look into it, the more that seems to be a huge factor). I think I'm still far enough away from a total collapse to fend that off, though that also feels like a struggle I should give up.
I love the "let go of responsibilities you want to let go of" (or however you phrased it). I know that that is something I should do, but it is definitely *not* something I want to do. Because of that there are no responsibilities I want to let go. If anything, even though I don't like to do house work, it is becoming more important that that is something I *can* do.
I hope this video reached me in time. I am in therapy, though I'm looking for a new therapist, who understands autism a lot better.
Ramble over, thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this. 🤗
Thank you. I’m 30 and about 10 months into a severe autistic burnout. It took me a few months to give up my work and my business and really stop working completely, but I haven’t worked this year. I got an autism diagnosis 6 months ago. Your videos have really helped. It’s so hard to learn to take it slow. Im definitely at that “I’m bored and a bit better but definitely so far from being recovered completely.
Thank you for your videos and for sharing this part of your struggle. My wife and I are autistic and have each faced burnout before in life without even knowing we were autistic. It’s so scary to not know what is wrong with you and to be facing such an uphill battle against something like autistic burnout. More people need to share their stories just like you are, because it gives us so much hope to see people like you face it and learn from it and come out on the other side
this is a really helpful video. i really appreciate the insight. needed to hear this today. it's really nice having a fellow young autistic woman that i can really relate too in terms of autistic expeciance. i'm also getting out of the super intense autistic burnout but still a long way to go. just glad i'm not so exhaused all the time anymore. still struggling with daily tasks but at least i can handle some more things now. i find it really helpful to hear from people who know we're not just being lazy and not just anxious and depressed. i'm 23 now, diagnosed autism at 22, adhd at 21, similar to you. i really appreciate your presence online morgan
I wonder if my PDA is in some weird way helping me avoid autistic burnout by stopping me from taking on too many responsibilities.
Maybe so!
You look great! You are doing well and you will do even better! Keep strong!
Autism is so lonely, especially coming from foster care. I’ve been homeless for 4, almost 5 years. Because burnout.
This video didn't feel all over the place to me. I thought it was natural and easy to follow. Thanks for another great video ! I'm currently trying to recover from autistic burnout myself, and your videos help ❤
Now I’m curious as to why I hit autistic burnout at 15 (almost 16 and still burnt out)
I show symptoms of autism and definitely symptoms of schizophrenia. It means a lot to me that there is a female out there that can relate to me. Please keep bringing more awareness to this and keep helping women who suffer with mental illness. I saw your video about girls with autism and it makes sense that I'm more attracted to girls with autism cuz I have autism as well lol 😅 thank you for letting us know we are not alone! I'm proud of you!
When you try to add things, keep in mind that WHAT you add is about as important as HOW you do the things you add. If you do the right thing in a way that is wrong for you, then it costs disproportionate amounts of energy. Optimizing approaches is powerful.
Your video is just fine.
Omg I'm so glad you're here. I really really needed this today.
I don't have a diagnosis but my therapist and I are pretty sure I'm in autistic burnout, and have experienced it multiple times because I've been put into a caretaker role my entire life, willingly or otherwise. I hate that you have to work so hard to not work so hard.
It was not all over. It was well-organized and informative. Thank you!
I am making a graphic novel on adhd and asd. Your videos help me understand what autism really is. I have adhd but hearing an autistic person talk about neurodivergence, and not google is really awesome and helpful.
Can I ask more about it? I'm studying creative writing and could have stuff that help you. I'm trying to do something similar. How are you creating the graphic novel?
@@benjaminguyer7692 I have a mentor who is a mental health professional and another who is helping me with the drawings. The project is for school so i am supplied with all the things that are needed. Im using pencils and paper to create it and i already have the storyline but thank you for your support!
Oh my God I'm 43 years old and I think this is what I'm living through.
👋👋👋👋👍👍👍👍💙💙💙💙😊😊😊😊
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! Clearly, having a job, a university project and a master's thesis to write, all at the same time, is not sustainable for me. It happened to me as well. At 26, my parents had to cook for me again for more than two months. It was, among other stuff, embarrassing for me.
as an autistic person i can say ive probably experienced this. i spent a few months working at an amazon warehouse, right up until christmas... 10+ hour shifts, grueling pace, deafeningly loud equipment, surrounded by hundreds of people in a large open space with my station facing the nearest wall and my back exposed to the entire rest of the place, and just an all around horrible culture in the first place, i would be approached by multiple managers multiple times a day to be told to work faster even when i was pushing myself to work faster than most people there, near the end i started keeping a tally of my own work and figured out they were lying to me to try and get me to work harder saying i was under quota when i was nearly doubling it
you wanna speedrun a mental breakdown as an autistic person, work at amazon, theyve got ALL the triggers. lol. so yea one day i just started getting dizzy, cant be falling over next to heavy machinery so i told my boss, they sent me home, went to the doctor that day, i was physically fine, but i couldnt leave the house without feeling like i was about to pass out and/or be physically ill for months. i still have trouble sometimes years later
Add asthma and painn in all joint
"I am sure there are people in your life that you can lean on,".
That is the problem. There aren't. Sounds like you had an incredibly supportive family. I have housing and food security, basic bills paid for, and that is it. When I reach out for help, I get ignored or gaslit.
And crappy health insurance meant getting professional help, actually figuring out what was wrong (not just ASD and ADHD), what shattered my life, has taken about 9 years.
And so I am here complaining into the void.
Oh dear, yea, that isn't a fun ride. I am struggling right now with burnout, I am starting to do chores again and taking care of myself. On top of that I need to get a job again. Had quit due to how tired I felt constantly. I am trying to allow myself feel too. Been trying to avoid the responsibilities of dealing with myself. x.x
I felt so irritated to go out to eat, a baby started crying and even with my (not noise cancelling) earphones dampening the noise I started to cry because my head started to hurt. ;-;
What a great channel
I've given some of the responsibility of doing the vacuuming to a robovac. It can't get everything and I have to remember to empty the dust bin every week, but at least the floor doesn't feel gritty all the time. Best $300 I've ever spent.
What's therapy
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS INTENTLY. 'Burnout' is SUCH a misleading word for autistic burnout'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had at least a couple of these and I think the burnouts get worse the longer you're undiagnosed and the older you get. It was sooo scary and you describe it SO well! Thank you for this!!
Hello one of the first people here! I love your videos thanks for making this❤
Thank you!!!!🥰
Your welcomee🩷🩶🤍
I’m going through this right now and I thought I knew a lot about myself, but I didn’t realize other people had gone through literally the exact same thing as me. This is so helpful, thank you for posting this.
Luckily for me I also had a previous burnout episode where I improved a lot of things. So I am starting out a lot higher than I was last time. It’s still frustrating the amount of time it’s taking but I’m much more able to accept it than I was last time. The fact that you were able to eventually make it out is also inspiring to me.
6:27 puppy.. 😁😁
You're lucky it's YOUR brain gaslighting you, because you can work on that....
For me, it was my family gaslighting me.
Don't worry about a script, if you ask me. This made perfect sense. Very relatable--probably the most relatable content I've ever seen on UA-cam.
I have depended on other people all my life without realizing it or thinking about it. Been in 2 different relationships that covered 20 years of my life from 19 to 39. By 40 I had moved out into my very own first place with my 3 kids from my last relationship. I was suddenly thrown into a completely different world with 3 kids I was responsible for all by MYSELF. I hadn't realized how much support I had with their father or how much I depended on the routine of it all. After 3 months of being on my own I started losing the ability to function. I was getting ANGRY over noises, fast movement, lights. Having meltdowns and yelling for no reason. Forgetting everything. Crying constantly. Couldn't talk to people anymore cause I either forgot simple words I knew or I couldn't get my thoughts out into words so I would get angry and walk off. Then I started stemming constantly. Especially when I was upset. I literally thought I was going crazy. I went to a therapist and they were no help. They said it was depression but I've felt depression and this.. isn't it. This is way worse. It's not the same. It's like I'm not me. I'm more aware that I'm not me and I can't do anything and don't know why but I hate it cause I have kids and they don't understand. I did research for a year that lead to me self diagnosing as Autistic. Then I noticed my 7 year old was just like me. So a year later and more research I got us assessed and I have been diagnosed with Autism and my daughter with Autism and Adhd. It's been 2 years since I went in burnout and still in it. So thank you for this video cause I was beginning to think I'm going to live the rest of my life like this and I can't imagine that. I'm so exhausted from everything I can't even get up to eat. It takes every bit of energy to get up and get my kids ready for school without getting angry. They deserve a better mom and I hate that I am this person for them
I watched a video on burnout by Justin Sung, and I was like that's not burnout you're describing, that's everyday life. Then he started talking about what it's like to burnout multiple times--how burnout comes faster and faster each time--and I realized that Autistic burnout is basically when you've experienced normal burnout so many times that less than a day's work leads to normal burnout--you literally can't do anything. It's like being burnt out on top of being burnt-out.
Taking care of children while you feel burned out is really tough!
I think your videos are the most cohesive videos I’ve seen! You talk the way my brain thinks! 😊❤
Interesting. Have managed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME) for about 20 years and there is plenty of info out there on how best to do that ie pacing and resting etc, basically everything you mentioned for dealing with Autistic burnout. Your description of Autistic burnout sounds very similar to my experience with CFS/ME during a long term 'flare up' or 'crash'. Does make me wonder how much of my experience was actually CFS/ME and depression and how much was undiagnosed Autism. In any case I think CFS/ME resources like the Bateman Horne Centre or support groups could be useful to anyone learning to deal with Autistic burnout as it has definitely helped me physically and mentally and been life changing. However there are some approved 'therapies' out there which can actually be harmful to some people, like Graded Exercise Therapy, which i would not recommend. Anyway we can learn to listen to our bodies and learn how to be kind patient and loving with ourselves, it helps so much.
Thanks, v helpful. I'm 19 and haven't been officially diagnosed w autism yet but think I am going thru the same thing :/
I'm so grateful for your videos. Thank you so much Morgan 🥰
i kinda can’t tell what i’m going through right now?? but i saw this video in my recommended a few months ago and added it to my watch later cause i just had a feeling that maybe i could use some of the info in it and would feel understood
i was only diagnosed w ASD (technically asperger’s ig, according to the dx code) and ADHD a few months ago. i’ve been battling depression and anxiety in vain for the last decade and couldn’t fathom why it wasn’t working. nothing i tried helped and it made me angry when people would give me the same stupid coping strategies and say it like it was so easy and simple and then get upset at me when those weren’t helping at all. i’ve been slowly realizing that i don’t think i was working to treat the right thing. i think i was treating a symptom of the real problem which is my ASD/ADHD. i haven’t lost all ability to function thankfully, but my mental state has been steadily deteriorating and i feel like i’m getting worse w my emotional regulation skills. i can’t hold my attention on anything anymore (not in an adhd way exactly) like nothing interests me. there is nothing i want to watch, read, listen to, etc. which makes the loneliness kick in even more intensely bc i can’t seem to distract myself w anything, and i can’t be alone w my own mind anymore bc if i’m stuck like that, unoccupied for more than a few minutes, my brain starts spiraling and thinking about how miserable, depressed, lonely, and unlikable i feel like i am to everyone around me. none of those empty coping skills have helped bc at the end of the day, i think i’m struggling to accept that i am who i am and there are pros and cons to that. letting go of a few responsibilities has kinda helped. but i still can’t tell if autism burnout is what i’m going thru. it’s lasted for like almost 2 years though, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility
You are so fortunate to learn this stuff so early in life.
Love you and your content.
I'm mate diagnose at 39.
I am almost homeless, lost my family my business my relationship,my self. I am scared to sleep because I wake up with an overwhelming sense of impending doom.
I am extremely suicidal, and am trying to accept losing everything and being homeless is where I'm being drawn.
I've known I would end up homeless and tried to do everything for that to not happen. I don't know if I'm delusional but I realise how materialistic I am and how muc identify with stuff.
I don't think I'm going to make it though.
Me being homeless is the pill I have to swallow.
I am soo envious of all these people getting out of autistic burnout in such ways... I have no money and nobody supporting me. But still I have to pay for food and rent... And I am late with taxes... I cannot add responsibilities step by step, they just never go away... :( :( :(
I got burnout in high school. I was diagnosed at 8 and had no idea autistic burnout was a thing until recently. (5 years after it started) I was just confused at how sleep didn't work like it should, sometimes I got 3hrs and could function pretty well, other times I got like 18hrs and could barely leave my bed.
I don't know if it's related, but around covid, especially, I got so stressed that I got physically sick. I had a fever for half of the school year, so I had to stay home. Even now, I get sick almost every day after work.
I think a lot of it could have been prevented or at least lessened if a single person talked to me about ASD. I was only told I think different and was put in special ed. My school didn't separate what we learned in sped based on what we needed, so I was in a class with people who were struggling with their classwork, looking at pictures and playing boring games.
I was in therapy for most of my life. (until I was sent to a cult, but that's other rant). Most of them just did play therapy. I still am not sure how therapy is supposed to work. When I was little, I said I just needed a friend, and the like 4 months where I had a friend were the best months in my life for my mental health.
What if you're on like 4 waiting lists for varoius services? Therapy rarely works in my case, and in the UK it's CBT or bust. I can't gaslight myself into feeling better, but I do understand that works for a lot of people apparently. ADHD assessments are usuallt years long waits, and autism is this alien concept in the UK system. Not to mention job searches and the dread that comes with being ignored/rejected/referred to someoone else
I don't know if I have autistic burnout or what is going on. I'm just crazy, and that's fine. I'll have melt downs all the time for the dumbest reasons. I went to the bathroom, I danced in my house, I looked at an empty water bottle, I burnt my finger, I ate food. All these and more have triggered meltdowns. Then my meltdowns trigger more meltdowns. I'd suggest it is traumatic. Not my opinion though. But I think if a meltdown is so bad that it triggers another meltdown, that meltdown was probably traumatic. So it is my conclusion. The description of my meltdowns is: Everything shuts down, cognition of course, but then my physical body starts to shutdown, I go blind for a bit, my muscles stop working, so I can't walk, sometimes I can crawl at least, I hallucinate, I dissociate, De-realize, De-personalize, physical pain radiating through my entire body. It feels like being tased. These meltdowns last anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 days. It's fine though. I just sit in it until it stops. Not like I have a choice. I mean, the meltdown makes me blind and paralyzed. Am I supposed to do anything like that? Go to the ER? How?! Why!? Just let it happen. It'll stop eventually. Plus I went to the ER, and that just continued the meltdown for the 12 hours I was there, until they finally gave me some morphine. What the heck can I even do with that information? "Hey doc, we need to treat my mental health condition with opioids." I honestly tried that and guess what? They didn't agree of course. But we tried every anti depressant, anti anxiety, anti psychotic, gaba blocker, mood stabilizer, anti histamine, anti inflammatory. I've been going to the doctors for 13 years. I've done everything. That's why I said it's fine. Because I accepted that this is just how my body reacts to stress and there's nothing that can be done to improve it in the acute sense. No one else could accept it. I can't do anything, and I'm going to have debilitating meltdowns and that's fine. Nothing can be done. It hurts, and that's fine too. I'm just complaining, it's called venting. I've fully accepted the nature of pain, and it's ok to complain too. I know it's horrifying to imagine these sets of symptoms. That's how hard it was to accept this for me, and i'm the one living it. I empathize with not wanting to accept this. Sometimes you must allow yourself to exist as you are. Even if you know things may or may not get better. You live today, you exist today. Take care of yourself today. Don't be mean to yourself for something outside your control. The "you" is whoever is reading this, I am out of it. ADHD, loss of executive function, my mind is all over the place. I just accept it. It's all complicated, and I've got numerous conditions so it's al just crazy in my head anyway. which is also fine
Hi Morgan, thank you so much for your videos, they definitely help me a lot to understand myself more and more!
I know this has not 100% to do with the video... but I have a question and maybe you could answer it or do a video about this topic?
Also, everyone who reads this and has (had) the same issue, could you tell me sth about your experience?
It's about AuDHD and meds:
Do you take meds?
If so, did you notice a difference to "you" before and after taking the meds?
The reason why I'm asking this is, that I have ADD and autism and I got to know me for over 30 years without meds. Since my diagnosis 2 years ago I've been taking meds and they help me so much in many aspects regarding the ADD. But I have the impression that it "worsens" the autism traits / that the autism traits become more present now. I assume they were "balanced" by my ADD, like socializing f.e. I don't know how I could manage so many more things during a day. I'm calmer, less restless and stressed out, I struggle less with things like chores and stuff that just has to be done, since I have enough dopamine for that now. But at the same time I know I disappoint my friends by barely chatting with them anymore, I don't take care of my social media accounts anymore even though I should (to push my small biz, engage with followers and customers), I should work out again, etc... but I just can't, because it seems like the time goes by somehow, the day is over and I also don't feel like communicating after a day full of socializing at work.. (my colleagues at work and my boss say I've improved so much, I seem more interested and sociable...)
I really don't know.. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do 😅
I never heard of "autistic burnout"...in Germany we say Shutdown or Meltdown
I'm confused by you saying it mirrors depression, it can lead to depression because your unhappy with having less energy, but you don't have the "sadness" syndrome of depression. Someone in burnout can still go YAY! I won the lotto and be super happy and then energy crash, someone in depression goes oh, yeah it's kinda nice winning, but life sucks, so I'm capped on how much I can enjoy winning.
what are your thoughts on autistic burnout vs possible misdiagnosis of chrono fatigue syndrome?
I suspect I've been in Autistic burnout now for about 20 years roughly.
The typical world breaks us. We must find a way to live so we can thrive.
I've been pushing through this burnout state for the past 15 years, and it got to the point where it ruined my health, and I got an awful autoimmune disease, and it makes it really hard for me to work. And just recently I had to take even more responsibilities, and double the workload, because my mom doesn't understand me at all, and just keeps sabotaging me, and I decided that it's better to do everything myself, than rely on her. I already know it's not going to end well... 😕
I am in the middle of burnout right now and I seriously don't know how to deal with it, especially since taking responsibilities off me actually adds to the responsibilities and overload. I am on a sick leave from work - but in order to keep the sick leave I need to visit the doctor a regularly, and the goverment is also checking on me and I need to explain myself why I was not home when they checked (I don't have to be home, my doctor says I need to get out a lot and met people because I am depressed and staying home will get it worse, goverment workers are just stupid) and prove to them I am unable to work (despite havuing a paper from my doctor proving that). It's stressing me out. I also have a lawsuit to the goverment because they took my disability benefits from me last year (that's when my burnout got much worse as I was forced to work due to no disability benefits, back then I had both disability benefits and a part time job - which is allowed in my country - and I was considering quitting my job because I couldn't deal with the responsibilities). I also need to find therapy because I was unable to go to therapy for past a few years due to working. Which means a lot of travelling, phone calls, human contact and expalining myself to strangers. There is at least 6 month waiting time for a proper therapy so I am attending another therapy for now (so the goverment doesn't take away my sick leave due to not being in thereapy) but its making things wotrse because the therapist keeps telling me I should get up early in the morning and do stuff to get myself acustomed to waking up early and returning to the work and I am lashing out at him because I literally cannot imagine waking up early, since not enough sleep totally deplates me from energy. I have my bills to pay and I am barely getting by because the sick leave is just 80% of my regular wage and even that was barely enough to get by. And I am stressed out because no matter what I do the sick leave will end in a month or two because you can only be on a sick leave for 6 months max and then you either have to return to work, go on a rehab leave (which you have to "have a hope for improvement after therapy" to get and I do not, according to my doctor so I dont have a chance of getting the rehab leave) or get a disability pension (which they took aeway from me last year and which still has ongoing lawsuit, they periodically ask me to send thyem very difficult formal documents to prove "why I think I deserve a disability pension and why I disagree with the people that say I don't deserve a disability pension"). And I can't even return to my family home - not only I might be unable to do all the paperwork if I am in a different city but I also can't deal with my home enviorement. Today I woke up pissed off and couldn't fall back asleep because my mom went into my room early in the morning and she opened a window "to get some air in" and there were birds singing outside which was really loud and annoying sound. She also enters my room a lot and interrupts me asking stupid questions such as "will you eat some soup?", "Do you want some water?" and "What do you want to eat?". I know she is just trying to take care of me but I can't take that kind of interruptions when I am slep deprived and currently focused on something else. I even buzzed off my hair because I couldn't deal with brushing, washing and tying my shoulder lenght hair into a pony tail. I am falling apart.
non autistic burnout is debilitating as well, it is not casual. People with severe burnout do have depression. It is a part of burnout. People with burnout can have severe psychosomatic symptoms like not beeing able to get out of bed, if they want to do sth. This is non autistic burnout, and it also can take years to overcome, if you stop working and first take care of yourself.
Okay YES not knowing where your threshold is :)))
Hey Morgan! Could you do a video on different things/activities you did and now still implement in your life to not get burnt out? Ik its different for everyone but it would be helpful to have ideas! Thanks!
@Morgan Foley, during your burn-out, did you notice any corrolation of your personal media/news consumption? ie just watching news of bad stuff would negatively impact your recovery if so would being in a complete news/media isolation would be beneficial solution in retrospect?
Yeah, it sucks when you don't have people you can actually lean on, and dealing with ableist family members and close friends leads to toxic/abusive dynamics.
As for rest, I highly recommend yoga nidra. It is a style of guided meditation that mirrors the physiological process of sleep. You practice yoga nidra lying down and can do it on your bed. It differs from other meditation practices in that even novices using recordings, especially those with several rounds of the body scan component, experience localized delta brainwave activity within two weeks of consistent practice. Delta brainwaves are those associated with deep, dreamless sleep, and in this sliw wave sleep, the body us able to heal and regenerate much faster. Unlike during regular physiological sleep, we can enter this state consciously throughout the day, and it is common for people to report that one hour of yoga nidra provides rest equivalent to four hours of sleep.
Here is one that worjs pretty well: ua-cam.com/video/OoSchlbBSGE/v-deo.html
I have a pretty strong feeling i have autism. At first i thought i was just shy my whole entire life (besides 3 year in elementry when i was actually able to play with people)
But when i saw your videos i related to so much. I did so much research too and now too i realise i hit autistic burnout this year. I went to a new school and a new study where everything got serious and also pretty overwhelming sometimes. Until 1 day i started getting sick(was from stress but wouldnt go away). This lasted the entire year until i left the study.
I got autistic burnout about 10 years ago and it also took me about a year of rest to get out of it… it was really hard because I was living on unemployment benefits and moving back with my parents wasn’t really an option… they also didn’t really support me and weren’t empathetic with what I was going through, they never tried to understand what was going on. I got an autism diagnosis a few years later and it all made so much sense…
Keeping up hanging with friends is one important thing NOT to give up though.
I got such low energylevel now im not doing hobbies. I feel that is bad.
Thank you, you are doing good things by sharing this for other people to see :)
Neurodivergence not neurodivergency. It's so difficult to find a therapist who isn't ableist. Some people can't afford one or are on long waiting lists for one. Some people don't have supportive families who can help them.
Working hard to rest……perspective is everything. 💕
I’m 18. I wonder if it’s at all possible that the apparent depression I have had for over five years is actually autistic burnout?
I know how women mask their autism beautifully however when they have to study university away from their parent homes they experienced the burn out. Diagnosing women on the spectrum is key to help them since nine out of ten women in the spectrum don’t get diagnosed and frequently is misunderstood for mental health problems.