It's so simple yet so complex. It's the line that still makes my eyes water every single time I hear her sing it. Even after years of listening to the song.
If you want to know more about the relationship between NF and his mother, you will find that in the song "How Could You Leave Us". Be sure to bring the tissues as the song really hits you in the feels.
The problem is we don’t want to give you too much information. He will reveal everything in time if you take the journey. You just have to pay attention.
Just one sorta spoiler that won’t ruin your journey, but help you follow the path. His mind is that mansion, the balloons his burdens, he talks to his different emotions in different verses of songs. AND EVERY SINGLE SONG IS TIED TOGETHER FROM START TO THE PRESENT! It’s a deeeeep rabbit 🐇 hole!
Most NF videos are full of pain and emotions a HUGE one is NF - How could you leave us and then follow it up with NF-MAMM - both songs are about his mother and crazy emotional.
For me the part “Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in” resonated with my feeling of being behind. I first heard this song years ago and that line really put words to my feeling of barely going through life as existing waiting for it to get better. Being trapped inside my thoughts of the past, the way memories can feel like a dream.
Turning fear into a physical creature was an amazing move. Most people think that fear comes from themselves, and is created by themselves. By making fear a physical creature, NF turns it into something that people have to confront and "kick out."
You'll recognize that intro by Fleurie as the same song playing when NF is pushed/falls into that "Mansion" in the Hope video. It's his more mature older self being dragged back into his own mind, his own mansion. But we get to see how he sees the rooms differently, how his perspective has changed now that he's older. You'll find more and more references that you'll recognize from the Hope video as you continue the journey.
I almost regret requesting this, but I would love to see a reaction to "how could you leave us." it's absolutely gut wrenching. Barring that, "Time" is another really good song.
The allegory of a house with rooms sticks with me every time, with a coat of paint on the outside and compartmentalized trauma on the inside. First heard Mansion in 2018, now I listen to Happy on repeat because it reminds me how far I've come and how far I have yet to go.
To me the part that hits the most is when he talks about his safe room that he built where he hangs onto the things he’s most afraid to open up about because he’s afraid it’ll scare those that he loves the most away if he reaches out for help with what he’s struggling with. That’s always been my fear. Leads to nights of painful loneliness where I just feel hopeless and broken beyond repair. It can definitely be challenging, but NF’s songs have really helped me over the years. I remember being at one of his concerts the first or second year that he was touring. It was a room that maybe had one or two hundred people and I was front row on the rail. Now I see him selling out arenas and it’s so crazy to me. Super proud of him and the impact he’s had on people.
Please do the journey. 1) seeing his journey from a professional’s pov would be amazing to see 2) I think spreading his music through your channel can help so many people 3) your channel will grow so fast on this journey
Yep, idk how many times i watched Nf journey reaction. But listening from prof's point of wiew is really good. Already subbed and waiting for whole NF journey. And yeah, u will win too much if u react his journey.
13:25 on- I have heard this song countless times. I got incredibly emotional watching your reactions to his words. I also appreciate that you let the song ride out at the end and didn't pause, just let it finish. This channel has become my favorite reaction channel in two videos. Please keep going with this.
"when that love is met with neglect the child doesn't stop loving you they stop loving themselves" i'm not sure why but that made me cry so hard it was like as soon as she said that something in me broke and i started sobbing
NF’s music has helped express the feelings I couldn’t quite describe but knew very well. I don’t relate to all of his lyrics because of course my story is different but I love that his art and his way of articulating his feelings and truth resonates not only with me but many others. He has helped remind me to continue to hold onto my faith in Jesus and also be able to release some of the emotions I have knowing that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. NF’s music is a deep encouragement to me and he has blessed me through it as a brother in Christ. I have nothing but respect and admiration for him for putting his heart on the line for all to criticize but I pray for this man and his family often because he has blessed me so the least I can do is pray that God continues to bless him. I highly encourage you to listen to more and more of his music.
This was the first song I was introduced to, and to this day stands to be one of my favorite songs. When Nathan was talking about creating the safe room and locking himself in broke me. You could hear in his voice how much pain and fear he was dealing with. The song is hauntingly beautiful. I think one of the most beautiful things about Nathan's music is not just the message, but the instrumental accompaniment. His producer Tommee Profitt does such a wonderful job with his instrumentation.
Mansion was one of the first songs that brought tears to my eyes, his recovery displayed in his work is so inspiring. The other song was Marina and the Diamonds - I'm Not A Robot, not sure why but damn did it get to me.
I really hope you do the NF Journey hearing your insight as a therapist is dope. It’s crazy you said this is your fav song this far. I discovered NF 9 years ago right when this album came out (I’ll admit this Abum wasn’t that great since he was experimenting and it was all over the place) but this song and a couple others on it were great. Then “Therapy Session(Album)” came out and I was like there’s no way he can top this. Ive been saying that every new album. He progressively gets better it's insane.
Most NF fans love when you pause and talk about his lyrics, at least that is what I have seen. I really appreciate your reactions, I love that you are enjoying him, he is by far my favorite artist.
My father beat me almost every night for 14+ years till I got a car and left. My parents were divorced, 50/50 custody, I "ruined his single life" by being there half the time. Once I had a car I just stayed at my moms permanently. He died when I was 22. I've still to this day never told anyone about him beating me. But, I'm now 28, happily married, and just bought a house in a nice suburb. I work a cozy job and golf or game in my free time. I don't know why but sometimes I enjoy crying alone to songs similar to this, but no one will ever know me as anything other than the funny happy guy.
I’m so sorry you went through that, no child deserves that from a parent or anyone. Find whatever safe space you need to fully feel and grieve the childhood you didn’t have. It brings a smile to my face knowing you’ve bravely created a new and healthier path that sounds lovely. Thank you dear human for stopping by our little channel.
This song hits me so hard every time. I am a victim of physical and emotional abuse from a spouse who it took me 18 years to realize what was happening and get away from it. It left me with cPTSD that is always lurking in the back of my mind, waiting to send me in a flashback to have to relive the worst moments. One in particular keeps coming back even after 5 years of therapy, medication, and a lot of work on grounding techniques. The fact that you can't burn the memories down. The memories follow you when you sleep (until I found medical cannabis I would wake up from flashback nightmares). The hardest line for me, though, is the part at the end about fear. I let fear in, it settled in, and I still haven't been able to fully move it out...because opening the door is scary in itself, let alone letting others in. That said, I'm trying. In the midst of maybe the worst string of events I've ever had to deal with, I've managed to let someone new into my life and they are accepting me fully as I bare my soul to them. It has been scary, but so worth it to find someone who will love me in spite of all of my traumas that affect me in our relationship. She met me with compassion when I completely flashed back while we were together. She listened while I explained where I was and what I was seeing disconnected from the current reality and did not push me away for it. I cannot say how much that meant. In my scariest moment, the type I expect to scare potential partners off, she leaned in. It was everything. I just hope this time I can avoid the self sabotage I seem to fall into when my brain starts telling me I am unlovable or worthless. That is the existence voice...it has never fully left me after 18 years of hearing the criticisms.
This is the greatest description of an empaths life.. and a person that feels everything, that can feel people’s emotions just by language or no language at all.. it’s being in a prison that only they can let themselves out and they have the keys but they can’t or don’t know how to unlock that lock and they stay in..
I would like to also say thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made. I would also like to thank you for your own personal struggles that you have endured to be able to help others. I sometimes forget the sacrifices that other people make in order to help me. Your reactions to other people's perks is helping me to connect and find the heating that I need. Honestly speaking I am in therapy with you. I may not be in your office but your ability to be able to articulate and help so many , myself included, identify the root of our hurts is truly a God given gift. Thank you for using your gift to help so many of us. Your return investment in people will not go unnoticed.
I wish i had found nf when i was in highschool, i really needed it. Mansion was literally most of my childhood years, and my freshman year of highschool. I was broken and trapped in my head all the time...i was so good, i was quiet, i was nice, i got good grades, i tried so hard to prove i was good enough, even when i learmed slower than "normal" kids. I needed help and wasnt given it, there was stuff wrong with me and i knew there was but no one listened to my cries for help...
As someone who has worked in mental health adjacent positions (direct care for adolescents, youth pastor, addiction treatment for teens) and am currently working to become a licensed counselor myself; Thank you for doing what you do. I am a huge advocate for music in treatment. Love your reactions and your insights!
What a great reaction. Thank you so much for your insight. He has a song called Therapy Session i think you would really enjoy. After Therapy Session check out the song called Nate. Very powerful!
This is what I've always wanted, a professional reacting to NF songs, just really dive into it like how I wanted other "reactors" would. I love it, looking forward for more of your NF reaction videos!
I did not expect to have a breaking moment simply watching a UA-cam video, but I did. I have been an NF fan for a long time, but I was watching your channel for the first time last night. I am thankful I was watching it with my husband because as you began to talk through things at the end... I am just glad I was not alone. And I wanted to say thank you. I tried a counselor a while back but gave up, pretty frustrated. I worked through more watching this one video than I did in months of counseling. Sometimes, you don't know what feelings are there, inside, wreaking havoc and causing damage until they are spoken out loud. What you spoke in this video revealed some stuff in me I have not faced. I would say you are also doing exactly what you are made to do. Thank you for your bravery and for being a part of my journey to find mine. God bless.
Something I just realized after countless times hearing this song is he said I will be the only person I can blame WHEN you desert me. He says when not if which means he never expects anyone to stay.
"Insidious is blind inception What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in) Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion" NF is my favorite! He and I have a lot in common.
Nate has so many absolutely amazing & deep songs. The entire journey is definitely worthwhile. That being said, a few that I think would especially resonate with you are "Paralyzed" (the most accurate & relatable depiction of depression that has ever been recorded), "How Could You Leave Us" (the exhaustingly painful account of losing his mother to addiction & how it affected him), "Nate" (a therapist suggested writing a letter to his younger self... from that came this amazing song wherein he is speaking directly to 6 year old Nate), "Change" (a song about his dueling feelings of desire for & fear of change), "Trauma" (a beautiful song about the effects of trauma, reaching for freedom from them, & finding them just out of reach), "Hope" (Nate beginning a new chapter in his life involving hope... with a brilliant depiction of always present inner conflict), "Mama" (another song to his mother that exhibits his emotional growth & matured perspective on his mother's struggles), "Running" (a triumphant, inspiring song in which he is finally letting go of some of his burdens & the parts of him that blocked him from happiness).
You may never meet NF in person, but you will 100% know him as a person after listening to his music catalog. Great reaction. Looking forward to the next one!
Love the video and reaction. NF is literally the only artist right now that i find myself watching people react to. One moment its because i want to see people being shocked at his talent and the bars he drops. Then the next it watching people have an emotional experience or connection with his works. The whole 180 is simply amazing. I recommend listening to "How could you leave us", then "MAMA". Coming from a similar background, these songs hit so hard for me and gives me so much hope that one day i can learn to forgive my parents.
This song is deep for me. "My mind is a home i'm trapped in and it's lonely inside this mansion". I have bipolar disorder, cptsd and i'm a highly sensitive person. That song is my life. It's also the room he's trapped in with the memories and damage of abuse. I work from home. I'm at a point where I go 2 months or more without leaving the house because i can have everything delivered. It's lonely inside this mansion.
Nf been the closest to me in music because i can relate a lot but when i see your reaction and comment i love it i hope you will take his journey this will help a lot of us because of your experience so thank you for being awesome
I'm definitely in that 20%. And I find myself having at least 1 time a week having my NF therapy jam sessions. It helps me keep myself grounded, but also most songs are bangers too lol
I came across your channel earlier, and though I don't believe I can be helped, I do appreciate so heavily what you do for other people and how you help them. I've always had a sort of bias against therapy, thinking they only do it for the money, that they get paid for talking to someone they don't have to deal with after the session. I guess I just wanted to take a moment to say that I thank you for showing me that people are at least capable of understanding, and caring. I just wish it was possible in my case. Keep doing what you're doing, you're great at it and you're helping people.
I have to pay back my monumental student loans that allowed me the honor of doing this work or I’d be financially devastated, but if I could do it for free I would. The beautiful humans I serve do not pay for my love and care that pour from me freely and I have many who only pay me what they can if they have financial hardship. I don’t represent all therapists, I’m just me, but hope that perspective makes sense my friend. There are many paths to healing, therapy is just one. Thank you for watching!
Looking forward to your NF Journey. It is a deep reservoir. In this song we learn that NF personifies his emotions. We met Fear and learned NF sleeps with Regret. These two will be back in future songs.
im learning a lot through listening to you and your interpretations of nf and his lyrics....... but at 10:54 im learning about aces for the first time and i keep listening to it on repeat and i feel like you''ve explained so much of my childhood.....dysfunction and pain in a proper medical term that i didn't know was a thing. just something i experienced and felt but i didn't know there was a study on it.... wow. no wonder i feel broken and connect with nf's music
Oh dear human, I’m so glad you found us!! We have a podcast episode about ACES and I’ll probably do more on the topic because the people in the most pain in this world need to heal the shame that childhood trauma stamps on you. Sending you SO much care and compassion on your journey to heal.
as a only child in a single parent upbringing (i typed home and that didn't feel real) i was in 21 houses before i was 18 with a alcoholic mother who when i got older started getting violent with me. the day i turned 18 i woke up to eviction notice. your break down of lyrics and professional knowledge to explain this has reached me like a digital hand reaching to me through youtube to help me understand why i feel the way i feel. any advice? @@delightfulpod
NF shattered the jar that i had put deep away in a closet basement. now when i am dealing with my trauma from my abusive drug addicted parents, neglect etc I can quantify the behavior patterns that i have developed and literally had to break myself down and re learn how to respond and react. now that i am looking at being a parent i am frozen with fear, terrified that i will fall into the perpetual trap that has been generational curse on both sides of my family.
I appreciate this content. Definitely. One of my favorite artists and a great song to choose. I would suggest breaking down any number of Dax' songs in the future.
Nathan John Feuerstien (fire-stine) aka ИF is an amazing artist his songs intertwine to paint a picture for you / make one big movie, we call this the ИF Journey what you hear or see in one album it will pop up in a later album so try to pay close attention to everything & always watch every MOVIE to the end ( yes movie bc he doesn't make music videos)! FOLLOW THIS TIMELINE TO BETTER UNDERSTAND HIM & GET READY FOR A LONG RIDE YES LONG LIST BUT WORTH IT AT THE END The ИF Journey 🎤 audio only 📽️ music video ИF Mansion 2015 *📽️Intro❓ *🎤Mansion❓ *📽️All I Have❓ *📽️Wake Up❓ *📽️Notepad❓ *🎤Paralyzed❓ Marty ft ИF 2015 : *🎤The One With My Friends❓ ИF Therapy Session 2016 - *📽️Intro II❓ *📽️Therapy Session❓ *📽️I Just Wanna Know❓ *📽️How Could You Leave Us❓ *📽️Real❓ *🎤oh lord❓ *📽️Grindin'❓ *🎤Statement❓ Single 2016 : *📽️Warm Up❓ Futuristic ft ИF 2017 : *📽️Epiphany❓ ИF Perception 2017 - *📽️Outro ❓ *🎤Intro III❓ *📽️Green Lights❓ *📽️Outcast❓ *📽️Let You Down❓ *📽️If You Want Love❓ *📽️Remember This ( lyric video )❓ Single 2018 : *📽️No Name❓ ИF The Search 2019 - *📽️Why ❓ *📽️The Search❓ *📽️Leave Me Alone❓ *📽️When I Grow Up❓ *📽️Time❓ ⚠️ Once you've done TIME go back and listen to the rest of THE SEARCH ALBUM starting from CHANGE till you end up at the last song ( interlude & hate myself go together so listen to them in one reaction ) then once that's done continue on by reading these articles so you can better understand the next song at the bottom called PAID MY DUES ⬇️ The NY Times - www.nytimes.com/2019/08/07/arts/music/nf-the-search-ybn-cordae-the-lost-boy-review.html Rolling Stone - www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/nfs-the-search-is-a-one-note-depression-symphony-872720/ Single 2019 : *📽️Paid My Dues❓ ( original date but then added to Clouds mixtape 2021 ) Single 2020 : *🎤CHASING NF ft mykayla❓ Clouds the mixtape 2021 : *📽️CLOUDS❓ *📽️ LOST ft Hopsin❓ *📽️ STORY❓ ⚠️Then react to the rest of the mixtape ! ИF Hope 2023 - *📽️ Hope❓️ *📽️ Motto ❓️ *📽️ Happy ❓️
@Somm_RJ it's german but that's how Google said It was pronounced but I'm sure someone else might know or he has an interview or live where he explains it
I have a lot of childhood trauma my dad left the day he found out I was born he wasn’t in my life I used to move from home to home and we always lived in bad neighborhoods and my mom used to date these horrible people who did bad things and made her act differently toward us and she used to tell us that our feelings didn’t matter and then she used to put so much pressure on us to do everything right never make any mistakes but whenever she made mistake it was fine she used to always blame everything on her being bipolar and the reason that she treated us like that is because we deserve to be treated like that and she made me feel like I was unable, and there was sometimes where she just ignore me and my siblings used to bully me and hit me and make up fake games just to make fun of memy childhood wasn’t the best and I like to listen to a lot of NF music because some of the lyrics she says I relate to. This reaction was very good.
It's an odd experience to hear this song again, still having a powerful emotional reaction that brings me to tears, while seeing someone else hear the same song, but they're smiling and have moments of joy. Not joy in the pain, I know. Still strange.
Hi Keilani, Thankyou for this great reaction/analysis. I've watched, listened to, read, and discussed the views and thoughts on childhood neglect from 100s of different sources over the course of my therapeutic journey and you are the first person to ever mention moving home frequently... (which happened to me, along with everything else) I'm really intrigued now to watch your other videos. New sub. Much love.
Ouch...Dear Lord that hurt. Where do I even begin? I've listened to this song and unraveled my own emotions about it at least a hundred times. But through your reaction, I rediscovered parts of myself that I had long forgotten, and it hurt trying to hold back tears as memories flooded back. My mother is one of those hyper-sensitive people, a real helicopter mom even though I'm... well, old now... LOL. Her thoughts always tend to skew negative, and as a child, I was so overwhelmed by it all. Then there was my parents' divorce. I constantly felt guilty, and it made me feel sick. These issues have stuck with me since childhood. It's not a lie that trauma can physically change you. I've set up boundaries, and now, for the most part, I'm a very direct person. Once I got past all that guilt, I vowed "never again." Those walls and boundaries I've erected around myself have also been put up around my children now. But then I think, am I becoming like my mother? Am I doing to my kids what she did to me, unintentionally? I'm aware of it because I lived through it, so it's not as bad, but I still slip... and I hate it so much. The anger flares up within me. It's incredibly challenging to talk to my mom now because of how she is. Yet, at the same time, I feel guilty because she's getting older. However, I can feel myself suffocating in that pain when I'm around her, and I just need to escape. It's overwhelming. All that to say, this song was like therapy for me, and your reaction just brought more of what's been locked up inside to the surface. Please keep doing what you're doing!
I like the fact you mention ACEs. You should do a video for TRAUMA by EKOH. He talks about how our childhood traumas are a blueprint for us growing and becoming adults and still having those issues and the way we react is because of this blueprint . Great song
Loved the reaction and your explanations. I know it would be a longer video, but if you have never seen Good Will Hunting (or haven't seen it in a long time) it would be a great addition to this kind of content
Just as we are, our birth families are imperfect, some more so than others. Remember your chosen family though. Trauma can be just as hereditary as any disease and without friends, without therapy, you are unlikely to ever escape it.
I guess im a highly sensitive person, mainly when it comes to music because i feel it SO DEEP. My anger is very intence, same with my sadness, pain. Music is one of the only things that can make me cry anymore, im talking ugly crying lol It can make me want to hurt myself or someone else. But at the end of the day it all helps because i can deal with those emotions thru music instead of acting on them in real life.
Mansion... so mutch to said but you've started your NF journey with hope and see the clip without all the key to understand it so there is probably many moment where you'll found out and realise "ok i was there" and this start here with NF falling through the ceiling of his mansion. Will be time for you to open some door like he did and for so i'll probably recommand NF - Let You Down cause everything on this song is just ... maybe you should discovering by yourself and enjoy the ride. As all NF journey, fan will recommend "how could you leave us" so keep some tissue around To the stranger who read it you're beautiful budy don't doubt it, kiss from France and see you next
Please react to NF How can you leave us first which his about losing his mom and Mama 2nd which was off his most current album as he finally forgives his mom.
“Broken legs but I chase perfection” is such an incredible line. So deep and so layered.
It's so simple yet so complex. It's the line that still makes my eyes water every single time I hear her sing it. Even after years of listening to the song.
NFs music literally saved my life I am extremely mentally ill and had drug abuse issues and then I found NF and I now have found god and I'm clean ❤
"Were"
@@lynx_trader what
@@lynx_trader you what
Hey man, congrats. We're all glad you're here dude. Keep at it. I'll be praying for you.
@@lynx_traderright where you stand! Honestly, just ask.
Try it…..I dare you!
Great reaction. Run that whole NF journey. Intro 3 next would be perfect because it builds on this song.
Shed be skipping a few songs inside album 2 that feed into intro 3 if she jumped that far. Intro 3 closes this song out
Great reaction. Loved it. He has a song called Therapy Session and Nate. Would love your reaction of those. Thank you
@@BruceWayneHussein bro expecting the commenter he's replying to to give her the message😂
Intro III is a must.
If you want to know more about the relationship between NF and his mother, you will find that in the song "How Could You Leave Us". Be sure to bring the tissues as the song really hits you in the feels.
I buy the tissue in bulk 😂
What’s a girl gotta do to get a puffs/kleenex sponsorship?!
NF Remember This!
The problem is we don’t want to give you too much information. He will reveal everything in time if you take the journey. You just have to pay attention.
Just one sorta spoiler that won’t ruin your journey, but help you follow the path. His mind is that mansion, the balloons his burdens, he talks to his different emotions in different verses of songs. AND EVERY SINGLE SONG IS TIED TOGETHER FROM START TO THE PRESENT! It’s a deeeeep rabbit 🐇 hole!
Most NF videos are full of pain and emotions a HUGE one is NF - How could you leave us and then follow it up with NF-MAMM - both songs are about his mother and crazy emotional.
MAMA its a extraordinary song
MAMM
Nf has become one of my favorite artists lately
Great choice
For me the part “Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in” resonated with my feeling of being behind. I first heard this song years ago and that line really put words to my feeling of barely going through life as existing waiting for it to get better. Being trapped inside my thoughts of the past, the way memories can feel like a dream.
Turning fear into a physical creature was an amazing move. Most people think that fear comes from themselves, and is created by themselves. By making fear a physical creature, NF turns it into something that people have to confront and "kick out."
True
Underrated line. In this song he says the regret is the place he stays and sleeps. “Remember this” he mentions this again
You'll recognize that intro by Fleurie as the same song playing when NF is pushed/falls into that "Mansion" in the Hope video. It's his more mature older self being dragged back into his own mind, his own mansion. But we get to see how he sees the rooms differently, how his perspective has changed now that he's older. You'll find more and more references that you'll recognize from the Hope video as you continue the journey.
I almost regret requesting this, but I would love to see a reaction to "how could you leave us." it's absolutely gut wrenching.
Barring that, "Time" is another really good song.
The allegory of a house with rooms sticks with me every time, with a coat of paint on the outside and compartmentalized trauma on the inside. First heard Mansion in 2018, now I listen to Happy on repeat because it reminds me how far I've come and how far I have yet to go.
same😊
His music has changed my life. SO therapeutic and so amazing to hear I’m not the only one that feels some of these things
To me the part that hits the most is when he talks about his safe room that he built where he hangs onto the things he’s most afraid to open up about because he’s afraid it’ll scare those that he loves the most away if he reaches out for help with what he’s struggling with. That’s always been my fear. Leads to nights of painful loneliness where I just feel hopeless and broken beyond repair. It can definitely be challenging, but NF’s songs have really helped me over the years. I remember being at one of his concerts the first or second year that he was touring. It was a room that maybe had one or two hundred people and I was front row on the rail. Now I see him selling out arenas and it’s so crazy to me. Super proud of him and the impact he’s had on people.
Please do the journey.
1) seeing his journey from a professional’s pov would be amazing to see
2) I think spreading his music through your channel can help so many people
3) your channel will grow so fast on this journey
Yep, idk how many times i watched Nf journey reaction. But listening from prof's point of wiew is really good. Already subbed and waiting for whole NF journey.
And yeah, u will win too much if u react his journey.
13:25 on- I have heard this song countless times. I got incredibly emotional watching your reactions to his words. I also appreciate that you let the song ride out at the end and didn't pause, just let it finish. This channel has become my favorite reaction channel in two videos. Please keep going with this.
"when that love is met with neglect the child doesn't stop loving you they stop loving themselves" i'm not sure why but that made me cry so hard it was like as soon as she said that something in me broke and i started sobbing
Same here...same here.
memento mori, friend
@@reesejensen9929 haha memento mori, Unas Annus ⏳
@@reesejensen9929 memento mori
Intro III is absolutely brilliant as well. The lyrics and his conversation with fear…It is brilliant.
NF’s music has helped express the feelings I couldn’t quite describe but knew very well. I don’t relate to all of his lyrics because of course my story is different but I love that his art and his way of articulating his feelings and truth resonates not only with me but many others. He has helped remind me to continue to hold onto my faith in Jesus and also be able to release some of the emotions I have knowing that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. NF’s music is a deep encouragement to me and he has blessed me through it as a brother in Christ. I have nothing but respect and admiration for him for putting his heart on the line for all to criticize but I pray for this man and his family often because he has blessed me so the least I can do is pray that God continues to bless him. I highly encourage you to listen to more and more of his music.
Appreciate your NF reactions!
This was the first song I was introduced to, and to this day stands to be one of my favorite songs. When Nathan was talking about creating the safe room and locking himself in broke me. You could hear in his voice how much pain and fear he was dealing with. The song is hauntingly beautiful. I think one of the most beautiful things about Nathan's music is not just the message, but the instrumental accompaniment. His producer Tommee Profitt does such a wonderful job with his instrumentation.
Mansion was one of the first songs that brought tears to my eyes, his recovery displayed in his work is so inspiring. The other song was Marina and the Diamonds - I'm Not A Robot, not sure why but damn did it get to me.
Best song he’s ever made. I listen to him everyday for 7 years
Love your NF reaction - hope you keep this NF reactions coming!! He has so so many amazing and DEEP DEEP Videos - All of his video are powerful ❤️
I really hope you do the NF Journey hearing your insight as a therapist is dope. It’s crazy you said this is your fav song this far. I discovered NF 9 years ago right when this album came out (I’ll admit this Abum wasn’t that great since he was experimenting and it was all over the place) but this song and a couple others on it were great. Then “Therapy Session(Album)” came out and I was like there’s no way he can top this. Ive been saying that every new album. He progressively gets better it's insane.
Most NF fans love when you pause and talk about his lyrics, at least that is what I have seen. I really appreciate your reactions, I love that you are enjoying him, he is by far my favorite artist.
My father beat me almost every night for 14+ years till I got a car and left. My parents were divorced, 50/50 custody, I "ruined his single life" by being there half the time. Once I had a car I just stayed at my moms permanently. He died when I was 22. I've still to this day never told anyone about him beating me. But, I'm now 28, happily married, and just bought a house in a nice suburb. I work a cozy job and golf or game in my free time. I don't know why but sometimes I enjoy crying alone to songs similar to this, but no one will ever know me as anything other than the funny happy guy.
I’m so sorry you went through that, no child deserves that from a parent or anyone. Find whatever safe space you need to fully feel and grieve the childhood you didn’t have. It brings a smile to my face knowing you’ve bravely created a new and healthier path that sounds lovely. Thank you dear human for stopping by our little channel.
You're definitely FEELING this one.
Describes my head exactly. The way he worded everything, was in a way I could never express. ❤❤
This song hits me so hard every time. I am a victim of physical and emotional abuse from a spouse who it took me 18 years to realize what was happening and get away from it. It left me with cPTSD that is always lurking in the back of my mind, waiting to send me in a flashback to have to relive the worst moments. One in particular keeps coming back even after 5 years of therapy, medication, and a lot of work on grounding techniques. The fact that you can't burn the memories down. The memories follow you when you sleep (until I found medical cannabis I would wake up from flashback nightmares). The hardest line for me, though, is the part at the end about fear. I let fear in, it settled in, and I still haven't been able to fully move it out...because opening the door is scary in itself, let alone letting others in.
That said, I'm trying. In the midst of maybe the worst string of events I've ever had to deal with, I've managed to let someone new into my life and they are accepting me fully as I bare my soul to them. It has been scary, but so worth it to find someone who will love me in spite of all of my traumas that affect me in our relationship. She met me with compassion when I completely flashed back while we were together. She listened while I explained where I was and what I was seeing disconnected from the current reality and did not push me away for it. I cannot say how much that meant. In my scariest moment, the type I expect to scare potential partners off, she leaned in. It was everything. I just hope this time I can avoid the self sabotage I seem to fall into when my brain starts telling me I am unlovable or worthless. That is the existence voice...it has never fully left me after 18 years of hearing the criticisms.
I always love when someone reacts to this song for the 1st time. It makes the reaction to "Intro 3" that much better.
This is the greatest description of an empaths life.. and a person that feels everything, that can feel people’s emotions just by language or no language at all.. it’s being in a prison that only they can let themselves out and they have the keys but they can’t or don’t know how to unlock that lock and they stay in..
This song made me feel like he was in my mind. I was also abused by my ex step dad. Among other childhood tragedies.
I would like to also say thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made. I would also like to thank you for your own personal struggles that you have endured to be able to help others. I sometimes forget the sacrifices that other people make in order to help me. Your reactions to other people's perks is helping me to connect and find the heating that I need. Honestly speaking I am in therapy with you. I may not be in your office but your ability to be able to articulate and help so many , myself included, identify the root of our hurts is truly a God given gift. Thank you for using your gift to help so many of us. Your return investment in people will not go unnoticed.
I wish i had found nf when i was in highschool, i really needed it. Mansion was literally most of my childhood years, and my freshman year of highschool. I was broken and trapped in my head all the time...i was so good, i was quiet, i was nice, i got good grades, i tried so hard to prove i was good enough, even when i learmed slower than "normal" kids. I needed help and wasnt given it, there was stuff wrong with me and i knew there was but no one listened to my cries for help...
Please more NF!! You're the best
As someone who has worked in mental health adjacent positions (direct care for adolescents, youth pastor, addiction treatment for teens) and am currently working to become a licensed counselor myself; Thank you for doing what you do. I am a huge advocate for music in treatment. Love your reactions and your insights!
What a great reaction. Thank you so much for your insight. He has a song called Therapy Session i think you would really enjoy. After Therapy Session check out the song called Nate. Very powerful!
I discovered NF about 3 years ago! He's my therapy! Few of my favorites are Notebook, Remember This, Only, Change!
Thank you for this reaction, waiting for more nf !
This is what I've always wanted, a professional reacting to NF songs, just really dive into it like how I wanted other "reactors" would. I love it, looking forward for more of your NF reaction videos!
yes!!!! More NF!!! Looking forward to the journey!!! #bestartistontheplanet
I did not expect to have a breaking moment simply watching a UA-cam video, but I did. I have been an NF fan for a long time, but I was watching your channel for the first time last night. I am thankful I was watching it with my husband because as you began to talk through things at the end... I am just glad I was not alone. And I wanted to say thank you. I tried a counselor a while back but gave up, pretty frustrated. I worked through more watching this one video than I did in months of counseling. Sometimes, you don't know what feelings are there, inside, wreaking havoc and causing damage until they are spoken out loud. What you spoke in this video revealed some stuff in me I have not faced.
I would say you are also doing exactly what you are made to do. Thank you for your bravery and for being a part of my journey to find mine. God bless.
Your comment made me cry, tears of joy and healing for both of us dear human. Thank you!!
Something I just realized after countless times hearing this song is he said I will be the only person I can blame WHEN you desert me. He says when not if which means he never expects anyone to stay.
MY FAVORITE SONG EVER
"Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)
Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion"
NF is my favorite! He and I have a lot in common.
Nate has so many absolutely amazing & deep songs. The entire journey is definitely worthwhile. That being said, a few that I think would especially resonate with you are "Paralyzed" (the most accurate & relatable depiction of depression that has ever been recorded), "How Could You Leave Us" (the exhaustingly painful account of losing his mother to addiction & how it affected him), "Nate" (a therapist suggested writing a letter to his younger self... from that came this amazing song wherein he is speaking directly to 6 year old Nate), "Change" (a song about his dueling feelings of desire for & fear of change), "Trauma" (a beautiful song about the effects of trauma, reaching for freedom from them, & finding them just out of reach), "Hope" (Nate beginning a new chapter in his life involving hope... with a brilliant depiction of always present inner conflict), "Mama" (another song to his mother that exhibits his emotional growth & matured perspective on his mother's struggles), "Running" (a triumphant, inspiring song in which he is finally letting go of some of his burdens & the parts of him that blocked him from happiness).
Thanks for the reaction, already knew about this song, but your words to it, your words to whoever listens it, made me feel seen. Thank you.
You may never meet NF in person, but you will 100% know him as a person after listening to his music catalog. Great reaction. Looking forward to the next one!
Love the video and reaction. NF is literally the only artist right now that i find myself watching people react to. One moment its because i want to see people being shocked at his talent and the bars he drops. Then the next it watching people have an emotional experience or connection with his works. The whole 180 is simply amazing. I recommend listening to "How could you leave us", then "MAMA". Coming from a similar background, these songs hit so hard for me and gives me so much hope that one day i can learn to forgive my parents.
Can't wait for more NF. There is so much more to uncover ❤
You have such empathy in your expressions, its really charming
This song is deep for me. "My mind is a home i'm trapped in and it's lonely inside this mansion". I have bipolar disorder, cptsd and i'm a highly sensitive person. That song is my life. It's also the room he's trapped in with the memories and damage of abuse. I work from home. I'm at a point where I go 2 months or more without leaving the house because i can have everything delivered. It's lonely inside this mansion.
And NF only 🙌
Great insights !! NF is my favorite artist and I'll be following your NF journey 🙂
Nf been the closest to me in music because i can relate a lot but when i see your reaction and comment i love it i hope you will take his journey this will help a lot of us because of your experience so thank you for being awesome
We’ve started recording the journey my friend, stay tuned 😉
Speaking of people not feeling alone, he reinforces that with his song "Just Like You" on the Clouds album.
I'm definitely in that 20%. And I find myself having at least 1 time a week having my NF therapy jam sessions. It helps me keep myself grounded, but also most songs are bangers too lol
I came across your channel earlier, and though I don't believe I can be helped, I do appreciate so heavily what you do for other people and how you help them. I've always had a sort of bias against therapy, thinking they only do it for the money, that they get paid for talking to someone they don't have to deal with after the session.
I guess I just wanted to take a moment to say that I thank you for showing me that people are at least capable of understanding, and caring. I just wish it was possible in my case. Keep doing what you're doing, you're great at it and you're helping people.
I have to pay back my monumental student loans that allowed me the honor of doing this work or I’d be financially devastated, but if I could do it for free I would. The beautiful humans I serve do not pay for my love and care that pour from me freely and I have many who only pay me what they can if they have financial hardship. I don’t represent all therapists, I’m just me, but hope that perspective makes sense my friend. There are many paths to healing, therapy is just one. Thank you for watching!
Looking forward to your NF Journey. It is a deep reservoir. In this song we learn that NF personifies his emotions. We met Fear and learned NF sleeps with Regret. These two will be back in future songs.
Thanks for going through the Journey‼️ You'll enjoy this long and bumpy road.
Your insights are really impressive. Thank you for the reaction.
I’m here for NF
im learning a lot through listening to you and your interpretations of nf and his lyrics....... but at 10:54 im learning about aces for the first time and i keep listening to it on repeat and i feel like you''ve explained so much of my childhood.....dysfunction and pain in a proper medical term that i didn't know was a thing. just something i experienced and felt but i didn't know there was a study on it.... wow. no wonder i feel broken and connect with nf's music
Oh dear human, I’m so glad you found us!! We have a podcast episode about ACES and I’ll probably do more on the topic because the people in the most pain in this world need to heal the shame that childhood trauma stamps on you. Sending you SO much care and compassion on your journey to heal.
as a only child in a single parent upbringing (i typed home and that didn't feel real) i was in 21 houses before i was 18 with a alcoholic mother who when i got older started getting violent with me. the day i turned 18 i woke up to eviction notice.
your break down of lyrics and professional knowledge to explain this has reached me like a digital hand reaching to me through youtube to help me understand why i feel the way i feel. any advice? @@delightfulpod
Great reaction and breakdown. All Glory to GOD our Healer and Peacemaker. 🩸🗝
This one hits hard.
yesssss more NF!
Really love the reaction for this, would really love to see you do a reaction to Therapy Session, my favorite song by NF
NF shattered the jar that i had put deep away in a closet basement. now when i am dealing with my trauma from my abusive drug addicted parents, neglect etc I can quantify the behavior patterns that i have developed and literally had to break myself down and re learn how to respond and react. now that i am looking at being a parent i am frozen with fear, terrified that i will fall into the perpetual trap that has been generational curse on both sides of my family.
Excited to go along the journey with you. NF has a lot of songs that tie in well with Therapy
I appreciate this content. Definitely. One of my favorite artists and a great song to choose. I would suggest breaking down any number of Dax' songs in the future.
Nathan John Feuerstien (fire-stine) aka ИF is an amazing artist his songs intertwine to paint a picture for you / make one big movie, we call this the ИF Journey what you hear or see in one album it will pop up in a later album so try to pay close attention to everything & always watch every MOVIE to the end ( yes movie bc he doesn't make music videos)!
FOLLOW THIS TIMELINE TO BETTER UNDERSTAND HIM & GET READY FOR A LONG RIDE YES LONG LIST BUT WORTH IT AT THE END
The ИF Journey 🎤 audio only 📽️ music video
ИF Mansion 2015
*📽️Intro❓
*🎤Mansion❓
*📽️All I Have❓
*📽️Wake Up❓
*📽️Notepad❓
*🎤Paralyzed❓
Marty ft ИF 2015 :
*🎤The One With My Friends❓
ИF Therapy Session 2016 -
*📽️Intro II❓
*📽️Therapy Session❓
*📽️I Just Wanna Know❓
*📽️How Could You Leave Us❓
*📽️Real❓
*🎤oh lord❓
*📽️Grindin'❓
*🎤Statement❓
Single 2016 :
*📽️Warm Up❓
Futuristic ft ИF 2017 :
*📽️Epiphany❓
ИF Perception 2017 -
*📽️Outro ❓
*🎤Intro III❓
*📽️Green Lights❓
*📽️Outcast❓
*📽️Let You Down❓
*📽️If You Want Love❓
*📽️Remember This ( lyric video )❓
Single 2018 :
*📽️No Name❓
ИF The Search 2019 -
*📽️Why ❓
*📽️The Search❓
*📽️Leave Me Alone❓
*📽️When I Grow Up❓
*📽️Time❓
⚠️ Once you've done TIME go back and listen to the rest of THE SEARCH ALBUM starting from CHANGE till you end up at the last song ( interlude & hate myself go together so listen to them in one reaction ) then once that's done continue on by reading these articles so you can better understand the next song at the bottom called PAID MY DUES ⬇️
The NY Times -
www.nytimes.com/2019/08/07/arts/music/nf-the-search-ybn-cordae-the-lost-boy-review.html
Rolling Stone -
www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/nfs-the-search-is-a-one-note-depression-symphony-872720/
Single 2019 :
*📽️Paid My Dues❓ ( original date but then added to Clouds mixtape 2021 )
Single 2020 :
*🎤CHASING NF ft mykayla❓
Clouds the mixtape 2021 :
*📽️CLOUDS❓
*📽️ LOST ft Hopsin❓
*📽️ STORY❓
⚠️Then react to the rest of the mixtape !
ИF Hope 2023 -
*📽️ Hope❓️
*📽️ Motto ❓️
*📽️ Happy ❓️
Are you sure that’s how Feuerstien is pronounced?
@Somm_RJ that's how Google has it but it may be wrong
@@Tremend_ it looks German, I think it should be foyer. But I don’t know it must be how it is said where he grew up.
@Somm_RJ it's german but that's how Google said It was pronounced but I'm sure someone else might know or he has an interview or live where he explains it
First one, love the vids keep up the good work y'all make my day❤👍
I have a lot of childhood trauma my dad left the day he found out I was born he wasn’t in my life I used to move from home to home and we always lived in bad neighborhoods and my mom used to date these horrible people who did bad things and made her act differently toward us and she used to tell us that our feelings didn’t matter and then she used to put so much pressure on us to do everything right never make any mistakes but whenever she made mistake it was fine she used to always blame everything on her being bipolar and the reason that she treated us like that is because we deserve to be treated like that and she made me feel like I was unable, and there was sometimes where she just ignore me and my siblings used to bully me and hit me and make up fake games just to make fun of memy childhood wasn’t the best and I like to listen to a lot of NF music because some of the lyrics she says I relate to. This reaction was very good.
I’m so so sorry precious human, that is a shit storm of trauma to navigate that no child deserves. Sending you peace and care to wherever you are 🫶🏻
It's an odd experience to hear this song again, still having a powerful emotional reaction that brings me to tears, while seeing someone else hear the same song, but they're smiling and have moments of joy. Not joy in the pain, I know. Still strange.
Hi Keilani,
Thankyou for this great reaction/analysis.
I've watched, listened to, read, and discussed the views and thoughts on childhood neglect from 100s of different sources over the course of my therapeutic journey and you are the first person to ever mention moving home frequently... (which happened to me, along with everything else)
I'm really intrigued now to watch your other videos.
New sub. Much love.
It happened to me too friend, I see you 🫶🏻
Ouch...Dear Lord that hurt. Where do I even begin? I've listened to this song and unraveled my own emotions about it at least a hundred times. But through your reaction, I rediscovered parts of myself that I had long forgotten, and it hurt trying to hold back tears as memories flooded back.
My mother is one of those hyper-sensitive people, a real helicopter mom even though I'm... well, old now... LOL. Her thoughts always tend to skew negative, and as a child, I was so overwhelmed by it all. Then there was my parents' divorce. I constantly felt guilty, and it made me feel sick. These issues have stuck with me since childhood. It's not a lie that trauma can physically change you. I've set up boundaries, and now, for the most part, I'm a very direct person. Once I got past all that guilt, I vowed "never again." Those walls and boundaries I've erected around myself have also been put up around my children now. But then I think, am I becoming like my mother? Am I doing to my kids what she did to me, unintentionally? I'm aware of it because I lived through it, so it's not as bad, but I still slip... and I hate it so much. The anger flares up within me. It's incredibly challenging to talk to my mom now because of how she is. Yet, at the same time, I feel guilty because she's getting older. However, I can feel myself suffocating in that pain when I'm around her, and I just need to escape. It's overwhelming.
All that to say, this song was like therapy for me, and your reaction just brought more of what's been locked up inside to the surface. Please keep doing what you're doing!
Found your channel after looking for NF reactions. Great analysis - subscribed! Would love to keep seeing more NF!
Love your reactions..
WHY I HAVE FALLOWED NF SO CLOSE IS FOR THE FACT THAT I SO FEEL I KNEW HIM IN THE PAST
❤❤
How could you leave us and then MAMA please for an entire grieving journey!
I like the fact you mention ACEs. You should do a video for TRAUMA by EKOH. He talks about how our childhood traumas are a blueprint for us growing and becoming adults and still having those issues and the way we react is because of this blueprint .
Great song
Loved the reaction and your explanations. I know it would be a longer video, but if you have never seen Good Will Hunting (or haven't seen it in a long time) it would be a great addition to this kind of content
One of my favorite movies! How can you not cry at the “it wasn’t your fault scene”!
My family went through a divorce and I had a depression stage for a long long time, but he saved my life
React to therapy session by NF
You are starting your NF journey???? Betttttt, I’ve seen a couple vids but if you are starting this I’ll def be tuning in more!!!
NF Journey
Thank you
Just as we are, our birth families are imperfect, some more so than others. Remember your chosen family though. Trauma can be just as hereditary as any disease and without friends, without therapy, you are unlikely to ever escape it.
Reaction all the songs to NF 🙏🙏🙏
I guess im a highly sensitive person, mainly when it comes to music because i feel it SO DEEP. My anger is very intence, same with my sadness, pain. Music is one of the only things that can make me cry anymore, im talking ugly crying lol It can make me want to hurt myself or someone else. But at the end of the day it all helps because i can deal with those emotions thru music instead of acting on them in real life.
You have to watch the hope video to the reference to this is you haven’t. I just discovered your channel so I’m going in order of what you’ve posted!
Give How Could You Leave Us a listen for sure.
Mansion... so mutch to said but you've started your NF journey with hope and see the clip without all the key to understand it so there is probably many moment where you'll found out and realise "ok i was there" and this start here with NF falling through the ceiling of his mansion.
Will be time for you to open some door like he did and for so i'll probably recommand NF - Let You Down cause everything on this song is just ... maybe you should discovering by yourself and enjoy the ride.
As all NF journey, fan will recommend "how could you leave us" so keep some tissue around
To the stranger who read it you're beautiful budy don't doubt it, kiss from France and see you next
Please react to NF How can you leave us first which his about losing his mom and Mama 2nd which was off his most current album as he finally forgives his mom.
The whole journey is amazing.
Wait until you get too “why did you leave us”😢
❤