How to Know if Your Marriage is TRULY Over

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 44

  • @pjmrees
    @pjmrees 11 місяців тому +13

    24 years wasted on a porn addicted, physical, mental, emotionally abusive narcissist. Do not waste your life on them.

    • @saraojala6283
      @saraojala6283 11 місяців тому

      Same. 24 years and he hasn't been able to overcome his addiction. He's a decent guy otherwise but this issue makes it hard to want to continue staying

    • @ChristinaJoyEmpowered
      @ChristinaJoyEmpowered 11 місяців тому

      @@saraojala6283is he willing to try a 12-step fellowship?

  • @paulbooij7594
    @paulbooij7594 3 місяці тому +3

    My taste in women changed during my marriage. I thought "She is fun, intense, aggressive, this is great!"
    Years later, "WTF was i thinking? I would take warm, nurturing, and feminine now."

  • @chrystallee1563
    @chrystallee1563 11 місяців тому +8

    Silent treatment of nearly 11 months. Wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I ended up packing up and moving out.

    • @MonikaHoyt
      @MonikaHoyt  11 місяців тому +1

      that sounds like the right decision! Silent treatment is emotional abuse

    • @iznon
      @iznon 11 місяців тому

      I’m so sorry. I understand how you feel.

    • @controllerfreak3596
      @controllerfreak3596 11 місяців тому +1

      thats also just super immature of them.

    • @bobsanderz3005
      @bobsanderz3005 11 місяців тому

      11 months?? That’s brutal! You made the right choice. Best wishes

    • @jamiesauter57
      @jamiesauter57 6 місяців тому +1

      That's me, right now. No effort on her part. If I didn't initiate conversation, we would never talk unless she needs something. Been a few months now and it's like she has a separate life. Used to be her +1 for 20yrs now she just goes out by herself

  • @iznon
    @iznon 11 місяців тому +3

    Monika, do you know of a good forum to discuss stuff like this? I’m so gaslighted, I might as well be on one of the Jovian planets.

    • @FolkOutThere
      @FolkOutThere 4 місяці тому

      Would love to connect & share stories! I've literally found clones of my story just on a few comments on random vids.
      What is it you want to talk about? (I triedreddit, but... that didn't really work for me. So I just use comments now )

    • @iznon
      @iznon 4 місяці тому

      @@FolkOutThere sure, that that’s no problem. I’m sorry you’re experiencing what you’ve had to go through. It honestly takes a long time to attenuate the grief from these things, but it’s possible.

  • @jimmytaz1744
    @jimmytaz1744 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for consistently sound advice 🙏🏽

  • @Gizmodi
    @Gizmodi 5 місяців тому +1

    I failed to stop communicating when i shoukdnhabe. Its hard when they are the only one who listens..hard life lesson and now trying to climb this mountain back alone

  • @infinitwatspeed69
    @infinitwatspeed69 11 місяців тому +1

    Only time can heal itself imo.

    • @MonikaHoyt
      @MonikaHoyt  11 місяців тому +2

      it's what we do with that time that makes the difference!

    • @FolkOutThere
      @FolkOutThere 4 місяці тому

      ​@@MonikaHoyt💯! As someone who waited years, was convinced the changes were enough (while some issues remained)... if your lucky enough to never go through it, then yes it can seem that way. But time is equivalent to whatever changes were needed. This woman is spot on with her advice, much different than others. It's almost like she's been there & hears a lot of people's stories...
      I took the same amount of time apart from my partner, but I changed & he stayed the same. I believed in time, and denied this. "I changed in our separation, I'm sure he did too!"
      Absolutely not. When I realized that, it was literally traumatic to come to terms with my delusion.

  • @tylercrooks8659
    @tylercrooks8659 6 місяців тому

    Great posts. I appreciate your channel. Would you say that so many people calling others “narcissists “ is more often two people that could benefit from looking at the dynamics at hand, and their part vs their partners that comprise the fry experience ?

    • @jp5419
      @jp5419 Місяць тому

      No. Narcissism is real. When one person is doing all the work, when your partner only care about their needs, looks past you, doesn’t meet even basic needs, frustrates when you attempt any genuine conversation or connection, nah… it’s not two people… it’s the selfish narcissistic one.

    • @tylercrooks8659
      @tylercrooks8659 Місяць тому

      @@jp5419 you might be right. In that case it should be pretty clear to end that relationship and build a stronger one elsewhere.

  • @melkerner
    @melkerner 3 місяці тому

    I am not with a narcissist - I am with an Avoidant. Complete lack of empathy, only invested in her "safety" and walls / control issues. Life dream - I want physical affection and sex - she wants NOTHING. over 8 years without as much as a kiss. Changed after we adopted the kids, and now I am an outsider and an undesired person who is just a roommate with responsibility but no affection

    • @paulbooij7594
      @paulbooij7594 3 місяці тому

      Oh my goodness, I just figured this out with my wife.
      Found the manosphere, got fit, earned more, became more attractive to women, and my wife can't stand me now.

  • @janegriffin3872
    @janegriffin3872 11 місяців тому +2

    Yes he has been silent- ugh

    • @MonikaHoyt
      @MonikaHoyt  11 місяців тому

      that is hard I'm sorry

  • @JohnDretired
    @JohnDretired 11 місяців тому +1

    Birky Water Filter in the background.

  • @thoenyhills217
    @thoenyhills217 9 місяців тому +1

    This woman is the poster child for not getting married. What man would possibly want to come home to this BS ?

    • @FolkOutThere
      @FolkOutThere 4 місяці тому

      What BS specifically? Just curious & trying to learn more... because as a viewer, I'm not frustrated by "coming home to this". This is SELF-work. If that deters you, then maybe it's not the other person (who is living in this work everyday to be better partner) fault

    • @melkerner
      @melkerner 3 місяці тому

      I have found her advice and information extremely helpful.

  • @mikegreene8461
    @mikegreene8461 11 місяців тому +5

    Women are not worth the struggle anymore.

    • @kirataylor4981
      @kirataylor4981 11 місяців тому +2

      Neither are men😂

    • @mikegreene8461
      @mikegreene8461 11 місяців тому

      I never dated a man, I do not swing that way. 🤪@@kirataylor4981

    • @sarcasticcat4982
      @sarcasticcat4982 11 місяців тому

      Men haven't been worth the struggle for a long time.
      You invest, they hit about 40ish and destroy your marriage, your kids, and you as they dump you for a younger woman who in the end will abuse, rob, and destroy them.😂

    • @atypocrat1779
      @atypocrat1779 11 місяців тому

      lol

    • @JohnDretired
      @JohnDretired 11 місяців тому

      Enjoy your cats ​@@kirataylor4981.

  • @mikegreene8461
    @mikegreene8461 11 місяців тому +2

    If you can see the white at the top of their eyeballs "like this woman" it means they are nuts. Run!!!