DreamTeam thank you so much for bringing this to our attention. In Sesotho bride price is Mahali (pronounced Mahadi) and in Sepedi it is Magadi. We apologise for the confusion.🙆🏾♀️. In IsiZulu and IsiXhosa it is Ilobolo/Lobola. Love Always TheMakhs
@The Makhs probably too late for these questions...what is the lobolo money for? from what I have been hearing, is for wedding preparations and traditional ceremonies (e.g. go tlhabisa and such). But as a christian who does not want to do traditional ceremonies (especially anything to do with Badimo/ancestors), what would lobolo money be for? is lobolo really necessary/ important for Christians? in a case that there was no lobolo paid, does it nullify the marriage? Maybe if you two see fit...you can address this a new installment
This is too important for me because I literally just arrived yesterday from The negotiations and paying ..I need to get home tonight and check the agreement to see if it’s been signed properly….but Yoh! After dropping my uncles off at my now wife’s house ,I went and parked by some gas station and waited there for hhooouurrss ,neeervous and anxious as hell ..the Best Moment is when they come out and smile to say that the agreements are exactly what I’d asked ….there’s a shift that has taken place in me now ..this Lobola thing is a beautiful and very important thing to do man ..I def encourage it ..
🤣 🤣 EVEN in my Venda culture, lobola ai humi, there's no refund.. Unless if is the girl's fault yes the family can give it back but otherwise nje.. Is non refundable... Thanks for sharing your story fam, ❤️
I honestly need to send a voice note to comment on this video, but ke we are here haha... This will definitely make younger men more open to marriage. Because of the time you find that men feel that marriage benefits women more then men (that is a topic for another day), but to give them a sense of security I think will make them more open to lobala. One thing I'd like to hear your view on is what is the purpose of lobola? Lerato mentioned something very different and I think if we heard from that point of view many women would be more open minded to it. Cause truth is, lobola feels like human trafficking, not because of the transaction but because of how much "women cost" these days. You get that they say if the girl has a PhD they're more priced than when they have a diploma or degree, but my thing is it was your duty as a parent to support your child, and your decision, why must this man suffer for it? More than that, what if the husband has a PhD and the girl doesn't? Do you give him a discount? If the whole process is a token of appreciation, why doesn't he buy a blanket or a goat and we leave it there? Why must a human being be 1 million? As a woman I fear getting married because of my accomplishments and what I yet to accomplish, because if God forbid my uncles go crazy and price me for even 100k, this man when he is not "in love" with me, he might stop understanding that I am human, I am tired i can't cook tonight, I don't want to be reminded that I was bought for 100k and not be able to return it so that we can all have peace🤣, truth is chelete ya lwesa guys. And people bottle a lot of feels forever and a day 😏
Do you guys know that you are making a great impact in the world🥺? The content that you give is beyond amazing which really shows that you have so much love for the family #dream team#. Thank you for being genuine and sincere enough to unfold most of the concepts that people don't talk about.🥰💏❤☺. Peace and blessings, May the Almighty God bless you and prosper the work of your hands. I Love you guyysss❤😇
This was a deep conversation, tjoo.. Thank you for this thought provoking and informative conversation that is at the best interest of those getting into a union. I'll definitely revisit podcast one of these good days when God blesses me. African solutions for African problems🙈
Our family has passed 50k🥳🥳🥳 testament to your great content Makhs! Well done and brace for more success on this channel! Love from a day 1 subscriber 😘
Indeed paying off lobola on the first engagement would be deemed as “wrong” , I didn’t know the reason however I know that my family didn’t accept the full payment on the same day. I was engaged first, lobola negotiations took place then the conclusion of lobola, and lastly we had the traditional wedding ( white wedding isn’t really on the agenda)
Because the whole process is about joining the two families, it’s not a transaction. When the family comes they learn about your family and you learn about theirs. How you cater to them, how your family carries themselves and all that. My dad would say he doesn’t want a man who’ll come and take his child “like you’re buying bread from the spaza” In Zulu there’s at least 4 steps. So paying everything at once is definitely frowned upon. 🙂♥️
In my tribe everything is paid once off. Also the amount is communicated with hubby's family beforehand, so on the day the negotiation is just nje. The amount was discussed by parents before the day of magadi. Our contract was signed on the day. It was typed out and had full names and all.
The initial lobola agreement paper is actually recognised under customary law, culturally lobola can never be refunded. The concept of having a “ legal wise agreement “ isn’t a bad idea especially in the event that we misplace the original lobola document. Love you both
Regardless of the legality of the letter signed with no names as per legal wise. Culturally its very valid and I havent heared of people that were denied their right to their 50% share if they divorce because their lobola agreement was not the legalwise one. Also Correct me if I am wrong but I think lobola is usually not refundable culturally.
Fully agree with you. Lobola isn’t refundable culturally, the initial signed agreement is recognised and therefore the other party is entitled to the 50% of the accumulated assets.
From the little legal knowledge I have I think that piece of paper that Phetola showed us if treated under customary law, it was going to pass because customary law has uncodified (unwritten) parts which ordinarily will be implied. Way back in the past we have had customs that people followed and in our on traditional courts these were effective then, don't know if am making sense here, however we have constitutional law now which is a good thing, as you it is superior over customary law that was used in the past.
Taking me down memory lane. I remember sitting in on a family meeting discussing my mahadi & then whatsapping my then fiancé telling him how he'd get charged (x number of cows + a horse (we are baSotho so there had to be pere, lol) - I didn't tell him the price of each cow though. He appreciated this and it prepared his family as we come from different cultural backgrounds that do things very differently.
I never received an engagement. I’m Xhosa and My husband is Venda and very rooted and does not believe in engagement. I became pregnant 6months into our relationship the baby was not a mistake or surprise the baby was planned. After he left and went to deployment for a year and came back when the baby was 3 months old because I gave birth before time. When he came back he called my mom and told her that he will be coming with his uncles to lobola. When he got home he was told he needs to pay damages 1st and refused saying he is been supporting me and the baby while the baby was not born and still will do so he does not see a need for damages cause he knows this is his child. My mom understood so he never paid damages and that was my 1st child. They negotiated and came to a conclusion of how much he needs to pay for Lobola. That day he paid half cause he didn’t have all the money with him and 3 years down the line he took his uncles again to pay the remaining and he is done and guess what I never received an engagement only a wedding ring….
I’m that day he finished lobola payment on the same day we did what is called “Ukwaziswa kwabayeni” where we slaughter a goat and they go home with half goat and another we cook and people eat. We also make traditional beer “Umqbothi”.
Thanks guys for this installment ,now I'm Muslim my husband is frm Bangladesh in Islam there is no lobola we HV sumthing called meher basically means dowry that meher goes straight to wife not the parents frm Ayesha in kimberley
In my culture, bride price or lobolo or lobola as we call it here is not refundable, when a marriage fails, it's the dowry that's refunded and that signifies the end of a marriage. Tonnes of love from 🇿🇲
After Lerato says it’s arrogant to pay the whole sum once off, it has me thinking back to my lobola. My husband is Zambian and so in their culture they have to pay the bride price and not owe their in-laws. He literally paid everything all at one, on the same day they negotiated. My parents shared Lerato’s sentiments but we understood that it’s their culture. So I was paid off same time 😂🌚 my Mum even says on the phone with someone I was bought like a sack of potatoes 😂😂😂😂 nonetheless, I am getting to live my happily ever after with my best friend
Lol this is so funny because I’m Zambian😂 they often look down on men who don’t pay the whole amount there and then. I’m guessing it’s an ego thing, kind of like, “our daughter is marrying someone who can really take care of her”
I remember with our lobola there’s a part where they call my father & I into the room once I’ve been identified, and then I’m asked to gather all the “cows” from the blanket and hand it over to my father. Then he said “ are you saying with these cows I am accepting I do not owe anyone nor need to returned?”
And it’s not easy to sell a car because it feels like half of you is gone It’s like a makeup kit for girls 😂😂😂💀💀it’s all love ladies I’m a lady as well I can relate
We have a lobola contract and I wonder if it was done right..lol. I should actually check. I was shocked as well because I didn’t know that lobola has a contract but fortunately the people who did it knew
I think this could be useful to avoid mishandling of money especially in families with single moms . In many cultures women are not involved in the negotiations so it might be helpful if every negotiator signs and the amount/s are documented.
lobola is only refundable if the lady marries another man again... n only a portion of it can be returned... best thing to do is not to pay it if u dnt blv it asifuni GBV la coz ppl think 'she's now their property'....
I appreciate legalwise's hustle but that letter is not the only proof of a customary marriage. If the letter was done wrongly there would still be other resources to support your customary marriage. Legal wise is just saying to be on the safe side and to avoid complicated legal battles complete the agreement correctly.
DreamTeam thank you so much for bringing this to our attention. In Sesotho bride price is Mahali (pronounced Mahadi) and in Sepedi it is Magadi. We apologise for the confusion.🙆🏾♀️. In IsiZulu and IsiXhosa it is Ilobolo/Lobola.
Love Always
TheMakhs
U are welcome hle famaly💚
@The Makhs probably too late for these questions...what is the lobolo money for? from what I have been hearing, is for wedding preparations and traditional ceremonies (e.g. go tlhabisa and such). But as a christian who does not want to do traditional ceremonies (especially anything to do with Badimo/ancestors), what would lobolo money be for? is lobolo really necessary/ important for Christians? in a case that there was no lobolo paid, does it nullify the marriage?
Maybe if you two see fit...you can address this a new installment
@@leratonephali7547 Lobola is for joining families. And it is also used for a white wedding, not just traditional.
This is too important for me because I literally just arrived yesterday from The negotiations and paying ..I need to get home tonight and check the agreement to see if it’s been signed properly….but Yoh! After dropping my uncles off at my now wife’s house ,I went and parked by some gas station and waited there for hhooouurrss ,neeervous and anxious as hell ..the Best Moment is when they come out and smile to say that the agreements are exactly what I’d asked ….there’s a shift that has taken place in me now ..this Lobola thing is a beautiful and very important thing to do man ..I def encourage it ..
Well done 👏
Wow, beautiful to hear this
Congratulations man.🔥🔥all the best between you and your betrothed and your future endeavors.
A Big CONGRATULATIONS to you and your wife!!!! We wish you a lifetime of God’s abundant blessing!!🎉🎉🎉🥂🥂🥂♥️♥️♥️♥️
Well done and congratulations
Ka sesotho ke mahali . Oh I am glad that we have a sponsor......
This is my first time seeing a brand/influencer partnership done so well. Well done guys.
Nondumiso this is one of the greatest compliments we have ever received! Thank you so much for this♥️♥️♥️
I’m only 20 and I’m soo obsessed with your channel
I caught that prophetic word, ''engaged in November'' I'm readyyyy Lord!
Pheto looking gorgeous as always😍🔥🔥
Aaaww thank you so much Nthabiseng♥️♥️♥️
This was so informative, even for us young ones who’ll be getting married in 2030 😂. Love it 💯
😂😂😂 thank you for taking the time to watch! You are literally 10 years ahead of the game😂
Stellar production! Amazing hosts! Nibahle also!!! 10/10 bafethu!
Thank you so much Inga. Always good to see you on the timeline♥️♥️♥️
This is the kind of content I signed up for!🥺❤️ Thanks The Makhs!❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much Moemedi♥️🤗. We appreciate you so much♥️
🤣 🤣 EVEN in my Venda culture, lobola ai humi, there's no refund.. Unless if is the girl's fault yes the family can give it back but otherwise nje.. Is non refundable... Thanks for sharing your story fam, ❤️
I'm learning how to dress here, pheto pheto pheto🔥🔥🔥 always always on point
I honestly need to send a voice note to comment on this video, but ke we are here haha...
This will definitely make younger men more open to marriage. Because of the time you find that men feel that marriage benefits women more then men (that is a topic for another day), but to give them a sense of security I think will make them more open to lobala.
One thing I'd like to hear your view on is what is the purpose of lobola? Lerato mentioned something very different and I think if we heard from that point of view many women would be more open minded to it.
Cause truth is, lobola feels like human trafficking, not because of the transaction but because of how much "women cost" these days. You get that they say if the girl has a PhD they're more priced than when they have a diploma or degree, but my thing is it was your duty as a parent to support your child, and your decision, why must this man suffer for it? More than that, what if the husband has a PhD and the girl doesn't? Do you give him a discount?
If the whole process is a token of appreciation, why doesn't he buy a blanket or a goat and we leave it there? Why must a human being be 1 million?
As a woman I fear getting married because of my accomplishments and what I yet to accomplish, because if God forbid my uncles go crazy and price me for even 100k, this man when he is not "in love" with me, he might stop understanding that I am human, I am tired i can't cook tonight, I don't want to be reminded that I was bought for 100k and not be able to return it so that we can all have peace🤣, truth is chelete ya lwesa guys. And people bottle a lot of feels forever and a day 😏
Do you guys know that you are making a great impact in the world🥺? The content that you give is beyond amazing which really shows that you have so much love for the family #dream team#. Thank you for being genuine and sincere enough to unfold most of the concepts that people don't talk about.🥰💏❤☺. Peace and blessings, May the Almighty God bless you and prosper the work of your hands. I Love you guyysss❤😇
This was a deep conversation, tjoo.. Thank you for this thought provoking and informative conversation that is at the best interest of those getting into a union. I'll definitely revisit podcast one of these good days when God blesses me. African solutions for African problems🙈
Thank you so much for watching Rato. We appreciate you so much ♥️♥️♥️
Our family has passed 50k🥳🥳🥳 testament to your great content Makhs! Well done and brace for more success on this channel! Love from a day 1 subscriber 😘
And this is all thanks to you and the entire DreamTeam family! Our hearts our bursting at the seams with gratitude ♥️
This is so informative, thank you for plugging us fam♥️
In Setswana, Magadi..
Indeed paying off lobola on the first engagement would be deemed as “wrong” , I didn’t know the reason however I know that my family didn’t accept the full payment on the same day. I was engaged first, lobola negotiations took place then the conclusion of lobola, and lastly we had the traditional wedding ( white wedding isn’t really on the agenda)
Because the whole process is about joining the two families, it’s not a transaction. When the family comes they learn about your family and you learn about theirs. How you cater to them, how your family carries themselves and all that.
My dad would say he doesn’t want a man who’ll come and take his child “like you’re buying bread from the spaza”
In Zulu there’s at least 4 steps.
So paying everything at once is definitely frowned upon. 🙂♥️
Definitely going to do this. Thanks for such a beautiful installment. Lots of love!
So so glad you found this helpful ♥️
The quality is out of this world🔥🔥🔥
Thank you sooooo muuuch🤗🤗🤗🤗♥️♥️
Oh i love your confidence Lerato...saying i had means because "i sell my car"..very good and that is true..Thank you.
Hello The makhs thank you for allowing God to use. we learn a lot on this platform.
Love the clarity brought out in this podcast 🙌🙌🙌🙌
Thank you so much Annelize♥️♥️
Absolutely loved watching this, super informative and insightful
In my tribe everything is paid once off. Also the amount is communicated with hubby's family beforehand, so on the day the negotiation is just nje. The amount was discussed by parents before the day of magadi. Our contract was signed on the day. It was typed out and had full names and all.
sound on a 100, visual 100, content 100, backdrop 100 ! I mean expect nothing less from the Makhs🔥
They are 💯😍
Yho I really enjoyed this installment 😄❤️ Very informative 💯 Sharrout to Legal Wise 📌
Abuti Lerato wa glow(a) 😄👌🏾 Sis Pheto is slaying as always🥰🔥
A big shoutout to LegalWise indeed🙌🏾! And and even bigger one to you for being such an OG! Thank you so much Rato♥️
Looking so beautiful Phetola 😍😍😍
Love from 🇰🇪... This is so different from culture! Good to learn
Yess Ous Pheto!!! The lobola was paid out of love!! No paying back lobola money. No no no!!😭😭😭😭
This is insightful. Thank you on behalf of the singles.
The Great I AM loves you.
Thank you so much Sanele♥️. We are so glad that this was helpful♥️
The initial lobola agreement paper is actually recognised under customary law, culturally lobola can never be refunded. The concept of having a “ legal wise agreement “ isn’t a bad idea especially in the event that we misplace the original lobola document. Love you both
I am really learning a lot from this channel, thank you so much
Much love from Kenya❤❤
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Regardless of the legality of the letter signed with no names as per legal wise. Culturally its very valid and I havent heared of people that were denied their right to their 50% share if they divorce because their lobola agreement was not the legalwise one. Also Correct me if I am wrong but I think lobola is usually not refundable culturally.
Fully agree with you. Lobola isn’t refundable culturally, the initial signed agreement is recognised and therefore the other party is entitled to the 50% of the accumulated assets.
Guy's ka sesotho ke mahadi😂😍
😂
Ka setswana ke magadi
Eya hle.
From the little legal knowledge I have I think that piece of paper that Phetola showed us if treated under customary law, it was going to pass because customary law has uncodified (unwritten) parts which ordinarily will be implied. Way back in the past we have had customs that people followed and in our on traditional courts these were effective then, don't know if am making sense here, however we have constitutional law now which is a good thing, as you it is superior over customary law that was used in the past.
Taking me down memory lane. I remember sitting in on a family meeting discussing my mahadi & then whatsapping my then fiancé telling him how he'd get charged (x number of cows + a horse (we are baSotho so there had to be pere, lol) - I didn't tell him the price of each cow though. He appreciated this and it prepared his family as we come from different cultural backgrounds that do things very differently.
Late for the party but still enjoyed it. Informative and relevant content 👌 . Thank you
Much love for The Makhs!!
Learnt so much from this thanks so much, there is so much one can over look when in the moment.
I love the fact that legal wise has this contract.
I never received an engagement. I’m Xhosa and My husband is Venda and very rooted and does not believe in engagement. I became pregnant 6months into our relationship the baby was not a mistake or surprise the baby was planned. After he left and went to deployment for a year and came back when the baby was 3 months old because I gave birth before time. When he came back he called my mom and told her that he will be coming with his uncles to lobola. When he got home he was told he needs to pay damages 1st and refused saying he is been supporting me and the baby while the baby was not born and still will do so he does not see a need for damages cause he knows this is his child. My mom understood so he never paid damages and that was my 1st child. They negotiated and came to a conclusion of how much he needs to pay for Lobola. That day he paid half cause he didn’t have all the money with him and 3 years down the line he took his uncles again to pay the remaining and he is done and guess what I never received an engagement only a wedding ring….
I’m that day he finished lobola payment on the same day we did what is called “Ukwaziswa kwabayeni” where we slaughter a goat and they go home with half goat and another we cook and people eat. We also make traditional beer “Umqbothi”.
Jooo this is eye opening my lobola letter is axcatly like this.
Very informative episode. Thank you 🙏🏽
Counting down 😍💃🏽🔥
That was very profound and maybe you guys can also cover the various types of marriages and their bindings on each partner.
Thanks guys for this installment ,now I'm Muslim my husband is frm Bangladesh in Islam there is no lobola we HV sumthing called meher basically means dowry that meher goes straight to wife not the parents frm Ayesha in kimberley
Interesting
This is so informative thank you dream team
Thank you so much for watching Paballo♥️
Thank both of you for your content I just met a beautiful African woman and she told me I had to pay the pride price helped me
So informative! Glad I watched this installment.
Thank you so much for watching♥️♥️
so informative! such interesting info
This is so informative,thank you guys.❤
Thank you for this guys ♥️ learnt a lot really.
Ndi ready💃
We’re hereeee 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
In my culture, bride price or lobolo or lobola as we call it here is not refundable, when a marriage fails, it's the dowry that's refunded and that signifies the end of a marriage. Tonnes of love from 🇿🇲
Even here in South Africa it is not refundable.
Didn't actually know that marriage contracts are also common there, very interesting...
After Lerato says it’s arrogant to pay the whole sum once off, it has me thinking back to my lobola. My husband is Zambian and so in their culture they have to pay the bride price and not owe their in-laws. He literally paid everything all at one, on the same day they negotiated. My parents shared Lerato’s sentiments but we understood that it’s their culture. So I was paid off same time 😂🌚 my Mum even says on the phone with someone I was bought like a sack of potatoes 😂😂😂😂 nonetheless, I am getting to live my happily ever after with my best friend
Not a sack of potatoes 😂😂😂😂
Lol this is so funny because I’m Zambian😂 they often look down on men who don’t pay the whole amount there and then. I’m guessing it’s an ego thing, kind of like, “our daughter is marrying someone who can really take care of her”
This is so interesting because I am Zambian too and from what I know, at least in my culture, bride price shouldn't be paid all at once
@@lengwebobo7418 really? I guess it could be a tribal thing then. 😅 considering we have so many, I neglected to specify.
Your content is 💯👌🏿
I remember with our lobola there’s a part where they call my father & I into the room once I’ve been identified, and then I’m asked to gather all the “cows” from the blanket and hand it over to my father. Then he said “ are you saying with these cows I am accepting I do not owe anyone nor need to returned?”
Oh wow! So there’s no refund there!
And it’s not easy to sell a car because it feels like half of you is gone
It’s like a makeup kit for girls 😂😂😂💀💀it’s all love ladies I’m a lady as well I can relate
😂😂😂😂 Mbali you’re spot on sis!♥️😂
We are within 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Yessss mahn😂😂😂 Man with a plan. Love it Lerato!
😂😂😂😂😂
I’m sharing the details with everyone I know that’s about to have lobola negotiations
Lerato should do Radio…
Let’s gooo
Road to 100k🥳🥳🥳
The segment is 👌🏽💯🔥🔥🔥
Love love love ❤🇵🇬
We have a lobola contract and I wonder if it was done right..lol. I should actually check. I was shocked as well because I didn’t know that lobola has a contract but fortunately the people who did it knew
Sis Pheto you should consider Tv Presenting 🤍
Great content thanks for the video.
Wow sold his car😮 big ups to you brother... How long did it take to replace the car
So why did you choose the nguni version of the word vs the Sesotho one?
Thank fo this information. I just looked at mine... Our names are not stated.
Patiently waiting for 3pm😁
That makes the two of us. I have been waiting for the pod cast
So glad you made it!♥️♥️
Siyabonga ♥️
Such an important conversation. Thank you family 💕
Thank you so much for watching sis♥️♥️♥️
Ka Sesotho ke "Mahadi" not lobolo or lobola hleng
Ase mahadi/magadi ka sesotho?
I love you guys, pls consider creating content with Brendan and Mpoomy.
Can Phetola have a ''how to look hot as a Christian wife'' channel/blog/something. Just to show that modesty aint gotta look boring.
I think this could be useful to avoid mishandling of money especially in families with single moms . In many cultures women are not involved in the negotiations so it might be helpful if every negotiator signs and the amount/s are documented.
I didn't know about this, am looking up on it
Ma Sepedi me magadi 😅
Wrap vibes Fam ♥️
lobola is only refundable if the lady marries another man again... n only a portion of it can be returned... best thing to do is not to pay it if u dnt blv it asifuni GBV la coz ppl think 'she's now their property'....
Lies lies😂😂😂😂😂 ka Sesotho ke 'Mahadi'
Lesotho Mona re e bitsa "Mahali"
Ntate Makhetha nex time ba ngole mabitso a feletseng so that we have full proof of the receiver and he witnesses
Y’all should’ve had a different title! Great video
Is the contract valid in Botswana?
Very informative 👌👌
Within ♥️
I agree with Lerato a once of payment is awks, some uncles probably even bill umntu more for the arrogance
15:00 We are here 🎉❤️😊
Yoh guys I had to come here because yoh 😓
Quality 💯❤❤
♥️♥️♥️♥️
I appreciate legalwise's hustle but that letter is not the only proof of a customary marriage. If the letter was done wrongly there would still be other resources to support your customary marriage. Legal wise is just saying to be on the safe side and to avoid complicated legal battles complete the agreement correctly.