The Corporate Office Rant
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Tim breaks down why there's nothing better than being bored at work.
Full episode: • The Chinese D’Amelios ...
Tour dates: www.timdilloncomedy.com/
Bonus episodes every week: / thetimdillonshow - Комедії
If Tim Dillon were ever president, it would be the first time we had a president who truly understood the plight of the working man, who spoke to us in a way where we felt heard. He would also immediately sell us out to the Saudis.
Isn't that what being an American is all about?
A funnier trump sorta
You’re right about selling us to the saudis
This is the most accurate comment I've ever read.
@@timtom4300trump took a pay cut in attempt to make the country better… no president has ever done that
“Peak civilization is to be bored at work” 😂
“Corporate office losers who have given up” I love when Tim talks about me specifically.
I’m with you
Can't wait to see yall give up when it really happens
@@TheB00tyWarriorwhen what happens ? Lol
Same
😂
Tim Dillon is the type of guy to go hangout in the smoke area of a warehouse he doesn’t work at just to talk to the people lol
I’ve certainly done that before!
🤣🤣
The best people to work with, just not 5 days a week! 😂 Exactly why we need hybrid working.
I've worked white collar jobs for over 15 years, but when I worked at a warehouse when I was younger those are the best co-workers I've ever had. And maybe the most interesting people. My one true mentor was a 40 year old guy who chain smoked, drank coffee all day, was ripped after being fat in his mid-30s, and just used to rip on all the fat deadbeats who walked through our lot.
@@willzinc6137That literally sounds very interesting.
Tim needs a separate patreon podcast where he sells life insurance for 6 hours a day
i would listen to that 6 hours a day
he'd show up late for that too lol
@@thetechwookieall to fully appreciate the larp
He would meet quota by the 7th, but collect zero money and love every second of it.
“Listen Barbara, I want you to tell your husband Lawrence your grandkids will be set for good with this life insurance policy”
That's called a job
A laugh at a dead end job is worth it’s weight in gold. Coming together in a hate filled union of bitter worthlessness. Pure bliss.
Based
Not to mention if the day is dragging its just going to add to the misery. I refuse to speak to anyone at work who doesn't want to have a laugh if all they do is bitch and moan I avoid em.
@@BigUps-Bucket-Cat Amen to that nothing shuts me off faster.
Work with a few guys you can laugh with is hardly work
Did you say union? You're fired.
I swear the more you don't care about the corp job the more you succeed. Office space really nailed that part lol
It's true
100% FACTS
Do you mean like we should not try at our job and just coast? I'm currently looking for my first corporate job. I don't believe in the whole "climb the corporate ladder" BS, but I do want to do good at my job
@@ShawnFXyou’ll understand once you get your first office job. Trust me
@@ShawnFXdon’t try. They’ll fire you. Do what your managers say without question or suggesting your own ideas and do a bare minimum job. If you try they’ll interpret it as being unsatisfied or insubordinate and HR will make up a fake reason to terminate you.
“This company is not what it used to be….They don’t treat us the same.” I hear that everyday 😅
The older you get the closer you become to literally turning into Tim when he worked for that mortgage company
I've even started saying this and i'm only there for 18months 😅
Those people are EVERYWHERE 😂
ah the old, this place used to be great, the old golden days arguement, and now that im in my mid 20’s im saying the same shit
Being a security guard in a casino is truly glamorous. You get to take police style actions, risk/receive injury, and work for corporate executives who would sell your family for ramen noodles if they were given the chance.
Wow it’s like you’re in show business
😂 true bliss
The comradery among us corporate losers is what makes it all worthwhile. Nothing like knowing with absolute certainty that your career is complete shit and means nothing. It's liberating once you embrace the suck of it all.
That is like the biggest copium cocktail I've ever seen, and damn it, it was delicious.
Nope. I don’t take the free garbage coffee. I buy my coffee because one day I’m going to move to Mexico and buy a boat and do fishing tours and then my friend will move down when he gets out, and he’ll help me with my fishing boat.
Life in the big city
That's probably true.
As long as you remember that there are many of us in IT that could do your job better then you do but HR won't let us in because we had too much fun in our teens or twenties.
Office work is a real knife fight
*shrugs* Life in the big city.
😂
Tim’s rant slowly making me realize I’m in a dead end job in corporate america
I had a job in a soulless corporate institution for years. I couldn't be happier to leave that shit behind.
@@mrskinszszshow do you make a living then?
Everyone is for the most part
@@Zayden. you can find jobs that don't require you to be chained to a desk in a soulless office, or deal with bs corporate politics.
@@mrskinszszs I agree it's soul draining to work in the office but the alternative is physical degeneration due to backbreaking labor.
In the future, Tim will be known as a great philosopher of our time.
He's to fat. Maybe after he gets on the grids diet.
He will be in the comedian/philosopher section in the years post Carlin
Tim will be known as the last philosopher of our time. Actually, ever.
He already is
the weirdest corporate shill
There is something weirdly comforting and liberating about giving up on everything you always wanted and just hanging with a bunch of people who have done the same. Just embracing where you are.
The only bad thing is being middle management over those people. You know that they have given up and it’s understandable. They are complete losers in a dead end job but try motivating that.
Wrong. The managers are also losers who are half a step ahead.
Look up the Gervais Principle. Its what the Office and his Rant is all about. Losers at the bottom, Clueless in middle, Psychos and Aholes at the top.
Having a coworker like Doug reenact the rape of deb is a canon event for dead end job work culture
I've said that many times.
Bro, that got me laughing like a jackal
Only the boys at dead end jobs will ever understand how far absolutely vile and vulgar language will get you 🤣 just rare comradery
I feel bad women will never experience that joy mixed with absolute hatred that comes out in the form of disgusting humor
@@connorearl2150If women are normal human beings, men are literally Cthulhu. Our minds and lives are so fathomless to them that if they catch even a shadow of a true glimpse into it, they flee into the peace and safety of Death.
RIP Norah Vincent, we miss you girl.
As a paralegal in Cleveland, I appreciate the very specific shoutout. 😂😂😂
Watching this on my 15 minute smoke break. Yeh its a 20 minute video. Im a rebel...
"It is better to be content with what the eyes can see than for one's heart always to crave more. This continual longing is futile, like chasing the wind." - former Long Island real estate agent, Tim Dillon
This quote explains why women are eternally unhappy. You will never be happy when you entire existence is spent desiring.
Tim, you could be a corporate morale consultant to help staff embrace their loserdom and reduce turnover.
Lmaoooo imagine comedians getting paid by corps to do that
That's what people like Simon Sinek are for.
@@skimpy105this is going to happen, calling it now
That "fingering your inner child" line is WILD😂
I started screaming laughing
Literally only he could pull that off
Tim is correct.
Wanting to die, working in a shitty office job, this is a vital experience for all, at least once.
Working for corporate daddy definitely makes you appreciate life. Simultaneously hating your life but the yearning for freedom is something all must experience
@@buzzybee186 True, it was quite the experience. And once you do get out you want to never go back if you can avoid it.
Tim’s most relatable rant. Being funny at work will make you feel pretty alive.
As an Army veteran, the BEST thing about work was struggling alongside your buddies. You can go to hell and back but you’ve always got someone to lean on. A lot of veterans leave the service to find that they miss it. Not because it was easier, not because it paid better. They felt they had a purpose in life and always had their buddies to bullshit with…
I bet you were expecting " thank you for your service". But the only people you served were the interests of the military industrial complex, whilst inflicting real evil upon the world
@@dave8323So edgy
The human experience is meaningless if its not being shared with others. Even people living in terrible conditions will find joy to share with the people struggling with them
@@be.prepared.to.do.that. you sound like you have a negative perspective it will be tough to find meaning with that mindset
Livin the dream
I worked my ass off to get from a maintenance guy at a factory to an engineer. Now I'm in a cubicle. It's awesome and the best part is that with my huge increase in pay, I now have the purchasing power I had 4 years ago. 😅 Corporate jobs are great. We get woke emails about lifting women and minorities up so the company can raise their esg score. We can do nothing all day if that's what we want. We can aslo raom from cubicle to cubicle with coffee and tell jokes, but not too offensive jokes. Sharon threee cubes away will get offended.
My vision of hell.
That’s why I opted for an IT job. Our best coworker is a toothless West Virginian who swears every other sentence and the workplace refuses to drug test since everyone would fail it.
Dude, we used to have monthly reviews where we had to describe how we "culturally enriched" ourselves at least twice a month. I used to put down "watched exotic dancing" (¬‿¬)
You have cubicles? Living the dream
Trying to get laid at a corporate convention is genuinely one of the most fun you can have. We all also just empty the hotel room’s fridge cos the company is paying for it.
*Trying to get laid at a Cleveland convention is a good life*
Thanks for reaffirming my life choices, Tim!
I worked on a sales floor with a bunch of guys under 30 making pennies and it was literally the best job I've ever had. If that company had an HR department, they would have jumped out the third floor window
Same. Amen.
People who work in sales are almost always pathetic, horrible people
@@dave8323 At least most salespeople have soft skills with a degree vs the average retail worker with... well... working arms and legs I guess
Fucking loved working at a car dealership. Yeah HR definitely was not a thing and now that I’m older I realize the shit we would say and do would get most people fired
@@dave8323No, they're not. I work in Marketing, so we're frenemies, but even I wouldn't say such a thing about em.
That's HR you're thinking about.
Phoebe Bridgers peddling amex gold cards to her depressed highschool freshman audience is for sure the funniest thing I've thought of this morning
Its like he was reading David Graber and Milton Friedman books at the same time and keeps mixing them up. 😂
This is the best comment here.
Such an underrated comment.
I’m 26 and work a 30 hour per week job as a supervisor for a valet parking operation. All my coworkers are exactly who he’s talking about. They’re all in their 30’s, have accepted their fate or lack there of. Literally my favorite job I’ve ever worked. Idk when I’ll leave but I don’t think I’ll ever have a job this fun again.
Get out bro! The margin between fucking around and "oh fuck this is my life" is pretty narrow
Nothing gets me more of an adrenaline rush than getting a rage email from a customer about how pissed they are about paying more and them cc'ing my boss.
Mark from finance was BCC'd. Wait until he lets you know.
Primarily if you work in Operations and they CC the Sales Department, after all, the sales team overpromised the customer, and they will throw you under the bus to make sure their commission isn't affected.
Tim hits the nail on the head every time. He just gets it. He's seen both sides of the fence and know the wealthiest ppl are all full of shit and its only real with the ppl who are on the brink of losing it all😂😂😂
Broke people are full of sht too.
One for the ages. You can only survive this lifestyle by being intoxicated from dawn til dusk. American Glory!
@SirJames917
Bro I worked at a call center for 5 years. I was high every single day starting from my 3rd day of work. I smoked in my car during every break. I had the best numbers and finally got a better job. Weed is necessary when handling 100 calls in an 8 hour shift.
"Didn't you ever wanna paint?!" 🖌
It’s a real stapler fight out there, folks.
Listening to this in my cooperate office while avoiding work is the most American thing I can think to do.
💯💯💯
This was the pep talk I needed to stay at my dead end corporate job. 😂
Tim doesnt even realize he is the giver already. Just sits and gives out knowledge.
Corporate office guy here. Can confirm full of resentment and anger👍
Same, work collections at a small subprime finance company
It’s okay to be average. Eventually your path reveals itself, all you have to do is walk down it. Tim this is truly one of the best internet video takes I’ve ever heard. I hope you can acknowledge the reason why you’re not working in the space you’re describing. I also hope that you continue to avoid the seduction of the ayahuasca class.
The first couple of sentences were 🤢
Tim should work at Home Depot for 3 days a week wearing those glasses with a camera in them and livestream it
This, actually, only, maybe make it a real hardware store, where the grizzled locals frequent.
This will be counted among the classic rants.
Pro from work from home, divorce rates are down because Mr/Mrs ass candy isn't tempting you every day. Con, self inflicted harm is up because you aren't getting to flirt with Mr/Mrs ass candy and stuck with their family all the time. Life is a hilarious comedian.
Divorce rates are down because men figured out its easier to self delete than go thru a divorce
Mexican dude in Vegas. Financial planner and former call center trainer. Tim describes my life down to the creamer. The American Dream is alive 😂
Peak civilization. It will never be better than that.
Bro the first part talking about being at a dead end job with other losers makes my soul warm it actually is kinda nice
The best part is that he's 90% joking but 10% dead fucking serious
Definitely 60% serious 40% joking
Yea I'm getting 50/50
I'm thinking it's the other way around. 10% joking.
@@chrispinchak1511This. The fact that its 10% joking is what makes this shit hilarious.
Definitely not 90% joking, at least 75% serious
This is why the middle and upper class have existential crises. I'm glad i built my work around youth mentorship instead, despite the hardship struggling to get here. I need work that has clear purpose and results i can see myself. Most office jobs seem to be fantasy, adults pretending to work. No idea what the hell they actually do
Tim is not the motivational speaker we want but we need.
Nah I’m pretty sure we want him
I worked at Allstate. Tim is 100% spot on. One of the best jobs I’ve ever had. Truly.
Bro the American dream is for decently intelligent ppl who are unambitious to find an easy dead end job they can breeze through and make a decent living. Tim understands this.
Being not famous and working a corporate job that gives me a better standard of living than most people around the world and 100% of past generations is really the best. I'm grateful every day
That's just a cope though because you're just comparing yourself to a low standard of living lmao. If you don't own yourself or your time (ie. working for someone else) the ceiling of golden handcuffs at best isn't worth it.
@@lebumjames1373 I’m just comparing myself to most of the people I’ve ever come into contact with. There’s something perverse about comparing yourself to a minority of people doing better than you, that you don’t know well at all, and using it to feel worse about your life.
@@lebumjames1373odds are the person that commented this makes more than you (the irony)
@@lebumjames1373He is comparing himself with THE standard of living. Almost everyone else has it worse so why wouldn't he be happy and grateful. There is nothing better than being a wage slave; you only stress out at layoff time and that isn't gonna happen everyday unlike an entrepeneur whose job/business is in perpetual peril.
@@burrybondz225 "Layoff time." Until it happens to YOU, and believe me, it's more common than people think today. Loyalty means nothing. I'm still trying to find a job after being laid off during the pandemic. After being out of work for so long, employers think I'm damaged goods. I'm also sick of the cope, "Well, people are starving in Africa, but I should be grateful I'm out of work." It's just another reason I hate people. They bring up a situation to try and minimize YOUR suffering. It doesn't help at all.
I work in such office. I used to go out with co workers in my 20s and early 30s and those were probably the most fun I had. Now approaching 40’s I can’t even bother to socialize with them.
I left a place like that. Cool guys but they won't be a part of my life long term
@@ChimChim-wr8qp 100%
As someone looking for a corporate job currently. This honestly makes me feel more at peace
Listening to this while at a dead end job full of people who I can't stand is very cathartic
My favorite thing about Tim rant bits is right when it seems like it should be about to end, there's normally another 9 minutes left.
These aliens in another dimension
Going "get a job!"😂😂😂
“You again?”🤣
Tim - I’m the regional manager of the tri state area for Geico, we would love to have you on the team.
As someone who worked at a large hardware store in Ohio, that was the most fun job I've ever had. Making fun of all the losers and crazy shoppers never got old
Let me guess, Menards? Always the most insane customers
you can see, though, that this dude is also having a blast making fun of the losers and crazy shoppers at his job. but that, in this instance, they are you, right?
Some of them are but we all know who the normal people are
Confession. All I ever wanted to do was work for an insurance company growing up. I grew up watching my single mother work for an insurance company and build a really good life. They never hired me. So now I bounce around from job to job, trying to become an influencer and failing miserably. GIVE ME A CORPORATE JOB! GIVE ME A CORPORATE JOB! GIVE ME A CORPORATE JOB!
😂😂 Bro Tim is actually too right. It is like having a war buddy when you work at a place that is just dysfunctional and falling apart. And it makes for the best day of your life when you finally wake up and quit that job, especially if it’s on a whim. This year I worked at a Wendy’s in a small town in Indiana, and I actually think that would be an effective torture method for prisoners. It was the most depressed and horrible I’ve ever felt without doubt, including when I was a homeless drug addict was still better than that. One day I woke up and just called in and said “yeah I’m not gonna be coming in today.” They tried to tell me to come in and talk to the manager, and I said no I’m never gonna be in that building again in my life. Then I slept till like 3pm, woke up, it was a beautiful spring day, went for a walk around my neighborhood seeing parts of it that I had never seen before. And then I just did yardwork for my parents for about a month to earn what little money I needed to survive in aside from savings. Probably the best I’ve felt in years
Wow on my commute to work and I think it’s gonna be a good day. A new perceptive for me 😂
100% true. This clip hit my soul where it hurts and also gives happiness in a way.
He actually makes a good point lol. The collapse of the middle class is going to butt fuck us hard in the end
i'm about to start a job where i'm going to need to go to corporate conventions in ohio a lot and this has made my whole attitude lift up in a way i haven't felt in months
This clip is peak comedy, him keeping it serious pretty much the whole time made it so much better
"Someone's gotta be the cog in the machine."
I feel that Tim. We cant all be born into the entitled, priveldged class handed life on a platter. Most of us ARE the bricks in the wall, the cogs in the machine. Its ok being a necessary part of society without all the fame and credit. If you gotta be a cog or a brick, be the best, most happy cog/brick you can be.
#coglife, #happybrick
I'm a cracked brick. Time to throw me in the scrap pile.
Yea but so many people are capable of more than that but never take the risk.
Once again Tim, you've nailed it. My work life exactly.
This is the perfect depiction of human nature. You want what you used to have or can’t have. I’d give everything to stop making other people millionaires and fuck around.
This was oddly inadvertently inspiring. The reality check i needed, thanks Tim
Tims so right bout the convos. You livin in the middle of a constant struggle. Shit gets real.
Tim hit the nail on the head so many times i thought he was building something
Do you one better, Tim….a corporate office job in the early to mid 90s…you’re married with a family….you really upper middle class living in suburbia…ughhhh what a feeling…that’s why I love watching old 90s movie!
"What you do every day is what your life is." Quite a profound and elegant statement, in my opinion. I forgot he was on the same rant about 14 minutes in lol.
If Tim wants to swap places for a few days a week ill volunteer to take his place and he can work my miserable job
Right. He’s off his rocker on this one. Minaj currently in the worst office job I’ve ever had. Investment banking. Other firms the job was slow and chill. This place is a frantic chaotic clusterfuck where all day it’s bosses IMing everyone to do more. So when I think of prior gigs I agree with him but in my present situation he’s totally off mark.
I'm leaving my office job next month for a different office job. Living the dream baby!
got this playing while on my other screen i'm working my shitty corporate job. it truly was the best of times and the worst of times.
The peak of my work is sitting at home reviewing people’s shitty resumes for 9 hours a day while listening to Tim Dillon describe why I should be grateful 😂
Haha you’re a recruiter as well?
I got a resume once for an entry level accounting job that had 10 bullets for her cashier job at Taco Bell. I don’t read even resumes very closely.
I totally get this. Sometimes I wonder that if I were to suddenly become a millionaire, I'd make sure nobody knows about it and keep working at my blue collar job. You can't fake common class struggle.
i mean, this guy literally just did though. the guy who did the video you commented on.
Anyone else driving to their corporate jobs, dying laughing wondering how they’re going to decorate their Christmas stocking for the company competition?
So true about call center work. You are so spot on about cog in a wheel analogy. One day week in office with all the shenanigans and minutiae is plenty for me!
Tim came to work in our office sometime 2016, he was already sort of established in comedy and was moving to the other side of town next week
Every day he would tell our group of smokers outside that he was gonna throw a massive hissy fit at management and quit - just for a laugh as he already had another job lined up we were all really looking forward to it
When it came to the day it was planned to happen he never showed up to work and we never saw him again
Listen hes a comedian not a trust fund baby, he might end up back there with you someday. He's just planning ahead.
I just got a job doing Maintenance at a skyscraper in Louisville and i totally agree with you. I will fight to protect those insurance employees.
my favourite thing in the world is when people say they would love to do something they could easily do and is easy to attain but then never do it or come anywhere close to doing it. Its just the absolute best.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA haven't laughed so hard in a while. So relatable and some real good points on having an office job there for socializing and relating with others.
Mediocrity provides stability one cannot deny
I wish him well.
*me in ohio at my desk while eating subway and checking emails, listening to tim yell about how im living the dream...* 😐
Thanks Tim for describing my 20 year military career
Your performance in thanksgiving was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life
I needed this… I work in Corporate… from home… in CLE Ohio… i needed this today
I have truly cracked the code. I work as a security officer for a small, quiet hospital. I earn $23 an hour to sit on my ass and watch UA-cam for 98% of my shift, five days a week. I could probably take a seven-hour nap without anyone noticing. In the other 2%, I deal with psychopaths that come in, and I love every minute of it.
Meth head 30.... look Alert!
I am looking to leave my job because they are trying to make us come back in the office. I wouldnt mind if it was needed for operations but its not. The older folks in upper management just struggle to fix basic technical issues like changing their audio settings or enabling their webcam.
Amen. We need the casually mundane to keep the populous occupied for a while while we all wait to die. We’ve engineered the real challenge out of daily life. It’s all on rails, the only thing left is to make sure someone files the receipts correctly. In the meantime we give each other high 5’s, have 3-5 minute conversations that end with a polite chuckle and a “have a good one 😊.” It’s a grown up kindergarten class. If we’re lucky we get to be the one who passes out the gram crackers and blankets at lunch time. They let you sit in an office with a door and someone ironically calls you “boss” like it still means something. It’s retirement at 30.
That's exactly what it's like. Unfortunately it's absolute hell to anyone that values authentic connections and experiences though. Which is why I got the hell out and am never looking back.
@@clipsburg412 You have to have an outlet. I play office for 9 hours a day then I actually go to work after 5. I write books, music, short stories. The office keeps me and my writing grounded with the struggles of the common man.
@@clipsburg412 what do you do now?
The meaninglessness of my corporate job gives me meaning. I try to perform well but it doesn’t get me much further than the total brain dead idiots I work with. So me and my few work buds embrace the suck and continue to collect our salaries and go home.
what's your job title if you don't mind me asking
the aliens go ''you again"😂🤣😂
This hit way too close to home. I’m in tears😂😂
Damn. I work at IBM and the best part of my day is talking to my homie Rakesh about how miserable it is to work with our clients. Comrades in monotonous suffering.
@4:45 I started dieing haha my mail man’s name is George…he’s just this. Just a cool dude who takes Gatorade from me in the summer and my canned coffee I buy during the winter and is just happy to be around and bring me my mail! Shout out George …homie found his little honey hole am I find that awesome
I never realized I had it so good. Thank you Tim
Not only that, people leave terror and horror to come to the mundane. But sometimes when they find the mundane is like so mundane "I have to come back here and do all this the same tomorrow???" they run off to be in a war or something dramatic. It takes maturity to be mundane. It's difficult. It's peace. War is easy.
Nothing keeping you from working/glamorizing a part-time gig Tim.I would say just go ahead and wade into the deep end.Retail.
Dealing with a-holes and crazy Karens 9-10 hours a day is a punishment I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.The fun parts you're thinking of are 2% of the other 98% shit burrito called the 9-5.
You do realise he’s a comedian…
Maybe move out of retail
@@biggiesmalls3096 I thought he was a blind guy complaining about not getting to work.My bad.
I could see tim pulling up in his Bentley and selling your supervisor a marketing scheme to help fix the office up because its a dump.