Enneagram Type 3 in Love or in Romantic Relationships
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- Опубліковано 20 тра 2020
- On today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about type 3's in love:
Type three: you need a partner who is independent enough to leave you alone while you focus on your work and who has a peaceful, agreeable disposition. Anyone who burdens you with emotional drama is going to get the boot very quickly because you have a really hard time holding emotions or finding value in emotional displays.
You constantly are worried about not achieving the kind of success you'd like to achieve in the world, and you prefer those who can tell you how proud they are of your accomplishments.
Ultimately, you need someone who is just as focused on their own success or is very independent in nature. The hope is that you can use some of that goal-directed energy on working on building closeness and depth in your intimate relationships and integrating empathy into your life.
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Well it was interesting to hear you talk about the 3 from a non 3 perspective. I’m a 3 and I don’t think I could have explained it better. Especially the part about empathy and material things like cars. I’m very much that way with materials not to show off but really for myself to see what I can achieve.
I feel like we get misunderstood as assholes sometimes because we’re so locked in on achieving whatever our goal is that we tend to steam roll peoples emotions & then come off as unempathetic when we don’t mean to
Wow - I am really impressed! I am a three and when you argued with „this will be more effective“ I was more attentive right away. Great analysis!
I'm a 3 it almost feels like you're describing me specifically in this video.
Honestly this helps so much in understanding my boyfriend easier, I'm a 9 and just started recently dating a 3. Thank you so much!! Great content!!
This was so helpful to understand myself! Thank you!
Many thanks for your explanation Jenny, get to know myself better by the day!
Just remember that one of the bases of the enneagram is not to find out what others can do for us, but how we can improve to better serve others.
Not sure if you guys gives a shit but if you guys are stoned like me during the covid times then you can stream all of the latest movies and series on InstaFlixxer. Been watching with my girlfriend for the last couple of months =)
@Isaiah Dante definitely, I have been watching on instaflixxer for since december myself :D
On point. Very good info! Thanks!
I have read many books and spoken to a number of enneagram teachers. After listening to Jenny about 3's (my recent ex partner of 9 years) and about 4's (myself), Jenny is without doubt the brightest, most insightful and articulate. So very, very clear and wise. Thank you!
I'm married (43 years) to an Enneagram 3. Your description is extremely accurate. Thank you!
Your description of how to talk to a 3 about feelings was great. I'm a 3w2 SO/SP and I've had some problems in conversation when someone said that I hurt their feelings and I couldn't figure out why or how to not do it in the future, ie. what I needed to be cautious of. They explained it in the way that made sense to them. I'm realizing that I need to figure out what their type is and learn how to relate to them and then also let them know how I prefer to be related to. Maybe if we both interact with each other in ways that the other person will respond well to, then we wouldn't have this problem/divide.
I love that you think 3's are 'awesome to some extent' lol I'm a 5 married to a 3 and I had to laugh, because I totally understand that comment...lol. They are awesome! (to full extent if I wasn't married to one...) That said, I'd much rather be a 3 than a 5. So I really do thing they are amazing people.
As a 3, watching this video reminds me of how relationships are too much work and that is why I am single to focus on my career and work
This seems spot on for my husband that I feel is a three.
As 9w1 962, and with a lot 3 people in my life, it's good to hear it from their perspective
Strong agree from this 3!
3:20 this is on point
when someone doesn't validate me from their heart I don't feel validated at all
Love your videos but I wish you had better playlist organization! It's kindof hard to find more/related content :) keep it up either way!
I'm a three and I feel so devastated. My mother died last year, and our house was destroyed from a typhoon in the same year then now this pandemic. I never felt love aside from my family and now I stopped believing that someone would love a person like me who is gay. I'm really stressed out right now and I hope everyone is never gonna feel this way.
Hey, I’m a three too and a year ago my mum and sister died too. I thought my mum was the only person who could ever love me and I felt so alone when she died. I know exactly how you feel but I promise you that there is hope. A future so bright and unexpected is waiting for you. Don’t give up, it’s hard now but soon you’ll have a breakthrough. Keep going! It’s there waiting for you and you have what it takes to get there!
Threes sound exhausting.
Does your enneagram change over time; or does it stay consistent, but you develop traits of other numbers? I am a 3w2, but I am naturally empathetic and very in tune with my emotions. In college I took an EQ test and scored very high, but after watching this video it seems having a high emotional intelligence contrasts with a 3.. I am very new to the enneagram as I just took the test today, so any feedback or informational sources that you could direct me to would be greatly appreciated!
Nathan Gregg the 2 wing likely explains your high EQ with being a 3. Sometimes we can also mis-type during the tests (so they aren’t the end all be all of our type). After reading through materials, sometimes people identify more with a different number (and usually something they scored high in closely behind their first number). Some resources I’d recommend are the Enneagram Institute and the “Enneagram of Wisdom”. There are some other great resources out there depending on your specific needs, but that’s a great place to start. Hope that’s helpful!
I Test 8w7 and Type 3 - I typically tie. I am an ENTJ. I wrote you on FB - Let's talk fun! A+++++
I am a 3 and I disagree about emotions. I am extremely in touch with my emotions. I am not a logic based person. So I don’t think you can be general on that aspect of a 3 type.
You must have a strong 4 wing
I've found a number of folks on UA-cam talking about the Enneagram with personalities I find objectionable. You're not one of them. For the most part, I enjoy you. Like the rest, you seem to have a habit of stating your beliefs as fact, which I don't endorse, but otherwise you seem lovely. However, I don't believe you have a strong grasp of Threes or healthy communication. I don't believe most Threes will struggle to hear about your feelings if you state what's going on skillfully, like "When you did X, I experienced Y. My request is Z. Will you do this for me? How is it for you to hear this?" If you do find yourself in relationship with someone of any type without the maturity to handle that type of communication, my advice is end the relationship. However, prefacing that conversation with an invitation to explore more effective ways of relating does make sense to me.
I also do not see Threes as struggling with words or empathy more so than other types. I wonder if you're taking your boyfriend's issues and projecting them onto Threes at large. (In case I sound like a defensive Three, that's not the case. Five is my core pattern.)
Love relationships happy Jessica till boyfriend girlfriend